Only we ourselves know what is best for us. We intuitively feel when we betray ourselves and our values, but sometimes we are afraid to say it and defend our opinion, our vision of the situation, our decisions. Sometimes we are so afraid of losing something - a man, a job, the approval of others that we are ready to betray ourselves. First in small things, then in more important issues. Required inner strength and the courage to speak up about what is important to you. And be prepared for the fact that if a person is not ready to hear and accept your values, then he can leave. However, the paradox is that it is honesty with yourself and with others that creates closer and more sincere relationships.
My mood and condition do not depend on others
Our integrity is also reflected in how we respond to the moods and actions of others. Including the beloved man. If any criticism and a missed call plunge you into depression, then this indicates that you do not feel in harmony with yourself. What hurts us the most is what resonates with our prohibitions against ourselves. In a similar way or vice versa, by not accepting these qualities in oneself. Therefore, before you bring down reproaches on others or shed tears, sort it out with yourself: why do you react this way. What pet peeve do you get stepped on all the time? What happens to us is what we allow to happen. As soon as we deal with ourselves, everything starts to change in an amazing way. The more independent we become, the less we are provoked and annoyed.
I do what I like
When a woman does what she loves, she is inspired, passionate, and full of energy. It is the energy that overwhelms us that is the magnet that attracts attention to us. Others, especially men, feel our passion. Any man is excited by a woman who has a favorite thing to do. Her eyes are burning, she is overwhelmed with a passion for life, her thoughts are occupied not only by him. And again, it's about the courage to be yourself and follow your desires. And if favourite hobby it also gives a great income, then the man understands that you choose him not because you are chasing his money, but because he is interesting to you as a person.
I have my own interests, hobbies, things that I'm not ready to give up for a man
There is such a beautiful metaphor: when two drops merge into one, they dissolve into each other and lose themselves, and when two lit candles start burning together, the flame becomes larger, but each of them can carry its own own light. Our passion for our favorite hobby, sports, personal development allows us to preserve individuality and uniqueness, not becoming a shadow of a man, but on the contrary, opening up new facets of life for him. It is important to find a balance: not to give up everything for a man and not to leave a man for everything. The most famous psychologist, coach and writer Marilyn Atkinson says that a couple should spend 12 hours a week together, and the rest of the time can be devoted to something else. And then your life will be full and rich, and not boring and monotonous.
I have my own social circle, friends and fans
Communication with other people inspires and develops, gives us the opportunity to take a fresh look at ourselves and the world. And if a woman closes herself in a small family world or a world of relationships with a man, then at some point she falls into the trap of the same type of thoughts and reactions. She becomes predictable, dependent and boring. A circle of friends and admirers keeps perception fresh, sharing new information, knowledge, as well as the feeling that you are interesting to many people, including men. It is important that you only communicate and flirt with other men, but in no case cheat on your beloved, as this destroys intimacy. The interest of other men keeps in good shape not only you, but also your man, who understands that he is in competition, and not the fact that the palm will always remain with him. This gives the relationship a slight unpredictability and at the same time makes them stronger.
I do not reveal all my secrets and problems
The ability to keep silent about something also increases interest and desire to know you deeper. When a woman too frankly shares the details of her life - her sores and problems, the veil of mystery and romanticism is lost. At such moments, a man begins to feel like a pathologist, before whom all the insides are turned out. It is not surprising that after this disappears not only sexual attraction but also just a desire to communicate. The feeling that a stranger is next to you, even if you have been living with him for twenty years, does not allow you to dissolve. And the very thought that you have little secrets excites and excites.
I do not allow myself to be neglected, humiliated and disrespected
Sometimes we confuse acceptance with acceptance. Acceptance is when we understand that everyone has their own path and manifestations, we respect a person on a deep level, but at the same time we do not allow him to violate our boundaries. Clear rules about what is acceptable to you and what you will never tolerate make you listen and respect your values. It is important to talk about it and agree, not blaming, but firmly declaring your position and principles, feelings and expectations on issues that are really important to you.
I am well-groomed, well-dressed, educated
A self-sufficient woman knows her worth and invests time and money in herself. How we treat ourselves, how much we value ourselves, determines how others treat us and value us. When a woman forgets about herself, does not develop, does not indulge herself beautiful clothes and self-care, men - and everyone around - regard this as her disrespect for themselves and allow her to be treated the same way. But even the point is not what men think and how they perceive us, but the fact that self-love fills us with energy, inspiration and joy!
I don't throw tantrums for any reason
Wise and self-sufficient women are distinguished by composure and the ability to control their emotions. This does not mean that she is always even and calm. She can throw a tantrum when she is absolutely calm inside and remain calm on the outside when a storm of emotions is raging inside. It is this contrast that gives it piquancy, and relationships - sharpness. But her performances are clearly calibrated and thoughtful, and this is what gives them such strength and makes them memorable. When a woman is hysterical too often, this only speaks of her self-doubt and internal licentiousness.
I choose the best and settle for less
A self-sufficient woman can afford to be herself, uphold her principles, do what she loves, communicate and live full-blooded life without focusing on a man and at the same time always find time for him and give him love, without demanding anything in return. But at the same time, she can afford to choose the best man for herself, realizing her strengths and accepting her shortcomings, and knowing "it's better to be alone than to be with anyone." And loneliness does not make her unhappy, but on the contrary, it allows her to remain in harmony with herself, without wasting herself on unnecessary relationships, meetings and deeds. By choosing the best, you become stronger.
1. Do not think about your shortcomings, think only about your virtues.
2. Don't drop your picks, always look straight ahead.
3. Be positive, active, self-confident, so that energy and positive emotions beat with a key.
4. Speak expressively.
5. Know how to listen to the interlocutor, respect someone else's opinion, even if it differs from yours, do not impose your own.
6. Eyes are the mirror of the soul, so eyebrow care (their adjustment) is a must.
7. Do not be afraid to change, look for yourself and try new things. Always move forward, be versatile.
8. Get your perfume on and use it so you have your own scent.
9. Instead of blush, spend more time outdoors.
10. Find yourself some passion or hobby.
11. No need to copy someone, it's better to find your own style and be individual.
12. Fresh breath makes it easier to understand. And there is! Have a pack of refreshing sweets with you.
13. Eat proper food then you don't need a diet. Do proper nutrition your life style.
14. Watch your walk, it should be feminine, never look under your feet, do not rush and do not slouch.
15. Reduce the size of the bag, trunks do not look very nice.
16. Read more interesting books so you have something to talk about.
17. Set goals and achieve them, listen to your intuition.
18. Learn to cook at least one dish well and tasty. Let it be apple charlotte, but ideal, so that you are known as a good hostess.
19. Don't hurt your hair with complicated styling, save it for the holidays.
20. Don't reveal everything about yourself on the first date.
21. Do not shout and know how to control yourself.
22. To become perfect girl play, try different images don't be monotonous.
23. No need to be smart, especially with men.
24. Love giving handmade gifts just for fun to your friends and family.
25. To win over the interlocutor, take his hand during a conversation.
26. Get rid of terrible gestures: do not drive the crumbs on the table, pick the spine of the book.
27. Sexy - it does not mean not vulgar, keep this in mind when choosing clothes.
28. Watch your hands, well-groomed hands are beautiful. Watch your face, acne is not beautiful. See collection.
29. Smile, let everyone know that you are happy.
30. No need to brag and tell a lot about yourself, let the interlocutor ask himself.
31. Do not cry over trifles, men do not like it.
32. Get plenty of accessories.
33. Learn to make eyes.
34. Look the interlocutor in the eye during a conversation.
35. Learn to praise and give sparkling compliments.
36. Wear only comfortable shoes so that your walk is beautiful.
37. Learn to laugh at yourself.
38. Be on the same wavelength with a man, learn to understand his humor.
39. Don't make problems out of nothing, be simple.
40. Do not sit at home, there are so many interesting things around!
41. Learn to raise your eyebrows, guys love it.
42. Stop thinking about how you look from the outside, be more confident and relax.
43. Do not forget about the birthdays of friends and relatives, make a list and congratulate on it.
44. Choose your own style of clothing to be different from others, but don't be too weird.
45. Do not envy and rejoice in what you have.
46. Know how to confess your love to those who are really dear to you.
47. Do not talk too much, actions are more important than words.
48. Be a good friend. Don't let people talk bad about your loved ones. It's valuable.
49. Learn to share the interests of your loved one.
50. To be the perfect girlfriend, love your body the way it is. Take baths with foam, the skin will become smooth, and the love in yourself will be stronger.
51. Treat others with love.
52. Always answer phone calls politely.
53. Wear only things that really suit you.
54. Do not invent and do not get into an awkward situation.
55. Accumulate and develop your talents so that the article is even more beautiful and ideal.
56. Give free rein to your emotions, do not keep them in yourself.
57. Do not hide your neck and shoulders under your clothes.
58. Appreciate time, do not waste it just like that.
59. Do not humiliate other people, you are not given the right to do so.
60. Be a leader in a company, it's really not difficult.
61. Don't be arrogant.
62. Be sincere and people will reach out to you.
63. Collect songs and give them to friends.
64. Sing more often, if you can’t, then learn and dedicate your first song to your man.
65. Be kind to other people.
66. Don't talk bad about your ex.
67. When you go to bed, think about pleasant things so that you wake up in a good mood in the morning.
68. Don't lie.
69. Do not drink water with gases, get rid of cellulite.
70. Don't drink alcohol other than wine. Don't smoke - it's terrible.
71. Do not bleach your hair, overgrown roots are terrible.
72. Watch your feet, a pedicure is a must.
73. Communicate only with those people who are pleasant to you.
74. Don't impose yourself.
75. Avoid pictorial gestures. Be natural.
76. Do not abuse cosmetics. Learn how to do makeup correctly, here for example.
77. Learn the basic rules of etiquette.
78. Don't be ashamed of your weaknesses. Allow yourself sometimes whims. Cute and funny.
79. Do not be afraid to emphasize your strengths. Long legs? Skinny jeans. good skin? No tone. Long hair? Forget chemistry. Better haircut at the salon.
80. Do not be lazy, work hard. One more skill won't hurt you.
81. Go in for sports.
82. Do not be silent, express your opinion.
83. Remember old friends, because they often helped you out.
84. Know how to praise yourself, and start the morning with a smile.
85. Take the initiative to be remembered.
86. Don't be late, don't keep yourself waiting - it's disgusting.
87. Try to keep abreast of events in order to be an interesting conversationalist.
88. Trust yourself. The herd has gone out of fashion.
89. Be empathetic. Don't refuse help. You will be grateful.
90. Be honest with yourself and others so you don't make excuses.
91. Believe in miracles.
92. Give people a second chance.
93. Walk with your head held high, wearing beautiful clothes.
94. Less quarrels and conflicts.
95. More kindness to others.
96. Don't be afraid to take the first step.
97. Trust people. And they will pleasantly surprise you.
98. Do not be afraid of difficulties.
99. Don't try to please everyone. You are not coins to please everyone.
100. Be yourself. Smart. Beautiful. Brought up. Loving. Happy.
What is the independence that so many strive for modern girls? It is impossible to live in a society and be independent of it. It is unlikely that a woman will want to completely not depend on friends, relatives, a loved one. Yes, and it will be possible to do this only on desert island all alone.
When we are talking about the formation of independence as a feature of character, then we mean the following qualities personalities:
- the ability to solve their problems without shifting them onto other people's shoulders;
- the ability to independently make decisions and take responsibility for their consequences, and not look for someone to blame in case of failure;
- self-sufficiency, possession of characteristics strong personality necessary for independent survival;
- the desire to engage in self-development, to master new professions, activities;
- tall creative potential, allowing you to find bright non-standard solutions problems.
It is these qualities that create the girl that aura of independence and self-confidence, which causes admiration in men and envy in women.
Is it possible to develop such qualities in oneself or are they innate and only rare lucky ones possess them? Of course you can, and at any age. And it is not so difficult if you seriously want to become more confident and stronger.
- Achieve financial independence. The ability to provide for oneself is very important for feeling confident. Get a good education, find a prestigious job, perhaps not the highest paid, but giving an opportunity career development. Do not stop there, move forward, master other professions and activities. This will allow you to become a sought-after specialist in many areas.
- Psychological independence is no less important. Train yourself to solve all problems on your own and, most importantly, do not be afraid of them. Every problem is a stepping stone personal growth. Confidence with psychological point vision is a state of harmony, calmness, based on faith in oneself and one's own strengths.
- Strive for emotional independence. Don't be in a bad mood, master the technique positive thinking. To do this, there are many trainings and exercises. Become an optimist, it will allow you to calmly look into the future.
Of course, in order to feel confident, a woman needs to feel beautiful, attractive, and desirable. For this there are fitness centers and beauty salons. But something else is more important - an independent and Strong woman always attractive inner beauty and strength.
Each guy has his own idea of what kind of girl can be called ideal, and, accordingly, it is impossible to please almost everyone. However, there are several fairly common types that many men can rank as their ideal.
What is she - an ideal modern girl
Fancy hippie or top model
It's about about two opposite types, but each of them has its fans. Hippies do not try to look glamorous, preferring to wear loose clothing without the slightest hint of sexuality. By the way, such girls can also wear a men's thing - an African-style shirt, a cap, a sweatshirt. As a rule, hippie clothes look rather worn, but at the same time stylish. They choose jewelry not from gold, but from simple materials, mostly handmade. Usually, hippies grow their hair without touching it with paint unnecessarily. Cosmetics are also not welcome - you can only occasionally bring your eyes up, but no sparkles and bright lipsticks. Despite the simplicity of the image, these girls look neat and interesting. They are fond of unusual music and films, love simple entertainment, and in general seem to be the embodiment of freedom and romance. Top model. Girls of this type are very focused on their appearance. They painstakingly take care of their skin and hair, experiment with make-up, do various styling, wear fashionable clothes and shoes. Such a girl almost always looks like she is about to go to a photo session for the cover of a fashion magazine. Most often, they are connoisseurs of high-quality and expensive things, attend fitness clubs, know about all the popular institutions of the city and look inaccessible to most guys.Open, smart and simple
Of all the types, such girls, perhaps, use greatest success at the guys. They do not try to make a lasting impression with a chic outfit and do not flirt with young people right and left. First of all, representatives of this type see guys as real friends. They try to help them with advice, sincerely worry about other people's failures and can find an approach to almost any person. At the same time, they are smart and able to keep up the conversation on smart themes. However, such girls do not boast of this, trying to put the interlocutor in an uncomfortable position. It is easy to communicate with them, because of their natural simplicity and openness.Noble, intelligent and well-mannered lady with pride
It is easy to recognize a representative of this type. Usually, in all her movements, nobility and good upbringing- she has impeccable manners, her speech is impeccable, and her posture is even. With such girls, the guys at first begin to behave somewhat constrainedly, fearing to “blurt out” something out of place. Also, such ladies will never throw tantrums, make a loud scandal in public, use foul language, and the like.Modest or vulgar
Most guys are divided into two camps - some of them prefer extremely modest girls, while others find it boring, and they prefer vulgar ones. Moreover, representatives of the first category are unlikely to be able to come to terms with the fact that their chosen one will “send” - this will cause them persistent rejection already at the first stages of communication, while lovers of “cheeky” girls can spend some time on to liberate the "shy".
To be nice and pleasant outwardly - work on yourself
If you have been dissatisfied with something about your appearance for a long time, and fixing it is not so difficult, then it's time to get down to business. Do not forget about the general grooming. Enter good habit always keep your clothes and shoes in order - no wrinkling or, worse, stains! Also, do not forget to pay attention to nails and hair. Your manicure should always be neat. Hair, of course, should be clean, no matter how busy you are. Take care of the health of your hair - sign up for some useful procedure at the salon or study the benefits of masks with various oils on the Web. Find your style that will most favorably emphasize your most advantageous sides. You can seek help from a stylist or an image maker - he will determine your appearance color type and advise you on things that you should pay attention to. If it is not possible to use the services of a specialist, then study the relevant materials on the Web. Do not forget about comprehensive face and body skin care. If you have any skin rashes that do not disappear, despite the whole arsenal of lotions and creams, then the problem may be much deeper. However, it can be solved by going once to an appointment with a dermatologist.Sports activities will positively affect the physical and moral condition
If you think you have excess weight, then physical exercise help solve this problem. By the way, classes in gym have long been relevant not only for overweight people, but also for thin people. We are talking not only about the number on the scales, but also about the general tone of the skin, smartness, giving necessary forms- all this can be achieved with the help of sports! If the previously mentioned sphere of life bypassed you, and you do not know where to start, then sign up for group lessons fitness - the coach will tell you everything and show you. You can also become athletic by joining some moving dances - look at what directions are taught in dance schools in your city, check out the videos of teachers, and go to class. It is desirable that sports in one form or another be present in your life at least 2-3 times a week (one training session lasts 1-1.5 hours). By following all the recommendations for thirty days, you cannot but note a positive result in your transformation after this time.How to Be a Nice Girl and Best Friend to Your Boyfriend
How to be the best woman in a relationship with a man
Any man is looking for a worthy woman in his chosen one, with whom he would be comfortable and easy. So, what qualities do you need to have for this? take care of yourself Perhaps you think that a man should love you in any form and condition, but he is unlikely to think the same. Lack of grooming is acceptable in rare cases and should not become a tradition. If you understand that your figure is far from perfect, then your chosen one also understands this. If you see some obvious defects in the mirror, then the man also sees them. Self-care is very important, and it's hard to imagine that you can later regret it. Be economic You can tell friends and relatives that your man is very loyal to you, and he doesn’t care at all that you can’t cook or don’t like to clean the apartment. In fact, sooner or later it will begin to annoy him. Try to master at least elementary dishes and periodically pay attention to cleaning. You can devote 15 minutes to caring for your home every day - vacuum today, wipe dust everywhere tomorrow, something else the day after tomorrow. Thus, the house will always be kept in relative order. Make compromises If you want a man to be comfortable with you, give in to him from time to time, even if you don't agree with his opinion or decision. You must become one team whose members trust each other's opinion, and not try to "pull the blanket over themselves." Bring your positivity Men are not very supportive of women, who are often unhappy with something and do serious problem even from little things. Try to take life easier and see it first positive sides. Be friendly with his friends and relatives, and if your views on something do not coincide with one of them, then try to remain neutral.What is the secret of a real super girl
The secret is self-confidence. Movie star and recognized beauty Sophia Loren once said that if a woman herself believes that she is a beauty, then anyone will believe it. If you think about it, the most famous actresses, who have millions of fans, do not always have an impeccable appearance, however notice how they present themselves, for example, on the red carpet! Their poses, smiles, gait conceived only cause admiration. It is not necessary to be a top model or update your wardrobe every season to be a self-confident person. If you think that you have some shortcomings that you can completely correct, then eliminate them - perhaps these “imperfections” are far-fetched, but if they cause you discomfort, then you should not torture yourself. get busy interesting business, find your own style, try to expand your horizons, make new acquaintances, find an occupation that will make you happy, and gradually this quality will develop in you!
If you have always thought about become self-reliant and independent but still not sure how and where to start, here you will read about five simple steps , which you can use on your way to independence.
Do you want to be less dependent on others and be more independent? Have you had moments when you wished you were more independent and that your loved ones were less worried about you?
People who are independent seem to know what they want and how make it happen. They seem more confident and happy. They can take care of themselves and others. They seem to have their own thoughts, and not so. They are the breadwinners when it comes to their decisions and actions, they are people with independent opinion. They take responsibility for themselves, their thoughts and their actions.
If you really want to become a self-reliant and independent person, you need to learn about these five steps that will help you not only in this, but will enable you to reach much greater heights.
1. Understand who you are
You can be who you want to be when you understand who you are. Know yourself from the inside.Ask yourself questions: What makes you happy? What annoys you? What do you enjoy doing? What would you not want to do, even for a million dollars? What are you not allowed to do? What are your strengths and weak sides? What decisions are you making for yourself? Are they basic life decisions, or is it your mini choice that you make on a daily basis? What do you have and what are you worth?
When you understand who you are, you will be able to find ways to improve yourself and become self-reliant, free and independent person, what you dream about. Only when you understand yourself can you be on your own. own way to freedom and independence. Get a clear idea of what you want to achieve before you start working towards it.
2. Take back your power
One of critical factors on the way to independence and independent living is an liberation from the control of others. Learn to rely less on others to do things for yourself, to take care of yourself and make decisions for yourself.
How well do you take care of yourself? What does your family say about you when it comes to your independence? Do you always need them to protect yourself from certain negative situations in life? Do you manage your space well (cleanliness of your room, car, or desk)? How can you demonstrate to people that you will not be the cause of their concern? Take back your power.
Do you constantly lean on other people for support? Do you have a speech because at times it may seem like you don't have your own voice? Are you often influenced by other people? Perhaps there are times when you already have a solution in your head, but the word best friend or a sibling's comment made you change your mind and you wonder why you can never make up your mind. The more you rely on other people to confirm your decision, the more difficult it is for you to become a self-reliant and independent person.
When you seek approval or permission from another person, you give him your power. Start to bring your power back and you will slowly free yourself from the control of this person. Learn to accept your own solutions, feel comfortable with your decision, and start building yourself. The more you practice your decision-making process, the more likely you will be to become a self-reliant and independent person - although sometimes you will make mistakes.
3. Practice thinking for yourself
Thinking for yourself means exploring your choices, weighing options for yourself, seeking other people's opinions. (for hint, not for confirmation), and proving to yourself that you can. Your decision may end up being wrong, but that doesn't mean you should stop and give your power back to other people. For example, you might want to leave parental home after you've graduated and - which is great, except that your close-knit family objects to the idea. If you find out why they don't agree with you living separately, you help yourself. Maybe it's about finances? Maybe you are the youngest (youngest) and your relatives are overprotective of you? Perhaps they are worried that you will not visit them?
What other reasons could there be? How can you tell them about your decision given their doubts? Have you always been able to take care of yourself? If not, how can you start doing it? This may turn out harder task so how to become self-reliant and independent means that you start building your own home, while making sure you have regular meals, take care of your health, be able to pay rent and bills, and so on.
To become self-reliant and independent, you must partially think with the head of other people, accept their thoughts, the way they think about you. I'll explain now. When you think in terms of another person, you can gain a deeper understanding of yourself and apply this to various aspects own life. Understanding that there are two (or more) sides to a situation will allow you to view the situation differently and more objectively.
4. Ask for help
Being self-reliant and independent also means you know when to ask for help. If you are confused or confused and want to give up your power and let others decide for you, remember that you have the ability to ask for help when you need it.Don't know how to cook food? Learn by watching step by step cooking videos or print recipes.
Not sure which profession to choose for yourself? Find a few people who have already graduated from the profession you are interested in and ask them for advice, but remember this is just advice, not a call to make a decision.
If you want to become a self-reliant and independent person, and in the future, ask for help from people, and remember that this does not mean that you are weak or that you have given up your control over yourself. It means that you are enough in order to figure out what you need to do to move forward.
5. Explore everything new for yourself
The more you explore, the more available destinations you will find for yourself.
You can learn something new visiting new places, or through reading well written books. learn other people how they deal with different situations in a life where you are not strong.
Participate in activities, if any, and ask questions. Absorb other people's experiences and apply them to your own situations.
There is many other ways to explore and become a self-reliant and independent person. Travel alone, where you will immediately learn to be more independent and self-reliant, volunteer to be a team leader for a project at work, for example, make your daily little choices without consulting anyone, embark on other projects not directly related to your field of activity without dependence on anyone, and so on.
Conclusion
Sometimes we get into situations where we have no choice but to grow up quickly - I mean, grow in your own eyes and the eyes of others. While it may be necessary for our survival and our development as individuals, it can be difficult for us to learn things the hard way.
When we actively learn to be more independent and self-reliant, we we live our lives, we control ourselves, and generally empowering to think and act based on what we think is right for us and those we care about.
We need to become self-reliant and independent people in this interdependent world, because this will manifest our individuality and our growth as a person.
Straight from today start taking responsibility for yourself and take steps to live with greater freedom and become self-reliant and independent person!
How to become an independent and independent person? Psychologist's opinion
