Dependence on other people's opinions makes us shy. As you know, everyone only likes the American dollar, so learn not to take criticism as a sentence and recognize that the world is not black and white. You will get rid of shyness when you change the grading system.

Become independent of other people's assessments

To get rid of shyness, you need to become independent of other people's assessments and the opinions of others. You can't please everyone! Therefore, learn to close and painfully not take anyone's criticism.

Why is shyness more common in adolescence? Yes, because teenage maximalism does not allow you to see all the facets and nuances of some actions and events - this is good, but this is bad, this is white, and this is black.

Adults, on the other hand, understand that there is nothing unambiguous - in addition to black and white, there is also a whole palette of colors, and all situations are ambiguous. Therefore, it is easier to be an independent independent person and do not depend so much on the opinions of other people.

If you find it difficult to relax, and you worry about what they might think of you, remember the words said by someone famous: “Do not worry about what others think of you: they are too worried about what you think about them".

Get rid of controllers

Identify a person (or several persons) who plays the role of an “examiner” in your life, the one who constantly commands you, the one whose opinion prevails over you, the one who speaks exclusively in a negative way from time to time about your actions and deeds.

Of course, finding him among your surroundings is sometimes not easy, because you are used to his command and take everything at face value, not for a second not admitting that this person can somehow harm you. If you have found him, but for some reason you cannot completely get rid of his "guardianship", shorten the distance.

Love yourself just the way you are

If the reason for your shyness is the rejection of something in yourself, whether it be a character trait or some physiological feature, well, or something else that you don’t like about yourself and try to hide or once again not demonstrate it, ask yourself a couple of questions - “What prompts me to hide this property, this trait so frantically from other people?

What will happen if I, having accepted it for myself at first, open it to others? In order to get rid of shyness, first imagine it mentally, and only then transfer your vision and mood to reality.

Learn to objectively and calmly see yourself from the outside without judgment and evaluation. Such an outwardly neutral vision will gradually awaken in you positive emotions, a feeling of love and joy both for the whole world and for oneself, as a part of this world. Direct this love to that which you do not like so much in yourself. Everything will work out!

Pay attention to appearance

If your shyness is a consequence of the fact that you doubt your external attractiveness, pay attention to this, work on your own image. If on this moment if you are limited in finances, then just make sure that the clothes are always clean and tidy.

Do not make yourself an idol

Do you worry that you don't look like someone else? Where did you get this internal image, standard and ideal? How did he get into your mind? Think about it, could you compare yourself to no one? Giving someone omnipotence and trying to imitate him, in addition to the fact that we acquire shyness and all kinds of complexes, we also deprive ourselves of the possibility of individuality and self-improvement.

Develop Communication Skills

Communicate more and develop the necessary communication skills - sociability, listening skills, the ability to ask questions, the ability to formulate thoughts, pay attention to increasing vocabulary and read the rules of constructive criticism...

The best impromptu is the one that is carefully prepared

If your shyness is preventing you from socializing, then as a "temporary cure" or "transitional measure" try to avoid getting into situations you are not familiar with. To do this, develop your personal tactics of behavior. Prepare for some specific situations several specific options (phrases, topics of conversation, etc.). The situation of acquaintance can be rehearsed at home in front of a mirror, a telephone conversation can first be sketched on paper.

You have the right, the right to...

As soon as you begin to feel awkward in communication, remember that every person has a right: the right to independence; the right to evaluate their own actions and feelings; the right to make mistakes and be responsible for their actions; the right to say “no” without feeling guilty; the right not to justify; the right to dislike; the right not to know; the right to make ridiculous and illogical decisions, of course, if it does not harm others.

If at first something doesn’t turn out the way you would like it to, don’t be discouraged. Give yourself the right to make mistakes - this is one of the main conditions that will help you overcome shyness.

Use affirmations

Try to use positive attitudes and statements (affirmations). Although many consider it frivolous, but believe me, it works.

Get rid of muscle clamps

Be sure to pay attention to the release of muscle clamps(I will tell you how to do this in future articles). If you learn to relax, then shyness will decrease in you.

Each note of shyness has its own muscular echo. Analyze the muscle pattern of your own shyness. Try to figure out which muscle groups are the main forces contributing to this negative emotional state.

Important!

Shyness is not a disability! Some people think that if they are shy, then they are sick. This is not true! I assure you that many people also did not have, and do not have enough faith in themselves, they just learned to overcome and conquer this fear.

If you can't help but judge yourself, then accept that shyness isn't so bad! This trait is inherent in the researcher, who always tries to penetrate the essence of things, and not be content with the superficial "it's normal." Therefore, take note that you are far from worse than everyone else, and even better than many. In particular, it is possible that you better than a man, on whose estimates you depend.

The worst way to deal with shyness is to "find someone vulnerable, someone weaker than you, and suppress them." First, it is not beautiful and unethical. And secondly, for a shy person, this is violence against oneself, because such behavior is not characteristic of him.

Some people think that alcohol helps to overcome shyness, and they begin to abuse it. This is unacceptable; under the influence of alcohol, a person becomes more cheeky, not freer, and can literally “break the chain” - from the very one on which he is kept by various complexes.

When alcohol ceases to act, the state of shyness deepens, because a person becomes ashamed of his behavior, he tries to move away from others and becomes even more isolated in himself. The process of getting rid of shyness takes a lot of time, so you need patience.

There are people who, in an unusual situation for themselves, begin to blush, worry, and have difficulty speaking. For such individuals, the question: how to stop being shy is the most acute. It is extremely difficult for shy people to be in the center of attention, make new acquaintances, communicate with unfamiliar people.

In addition, modest people have a very difficult time adapting to a new place, and the emergence of an unfamiliar situation may well cause them to panic.

Reasons for modesty

Knowing the factors that determine such a psychological feature as modesty will help you understand how to get rid of shyness.

The most common causes of humility are:

1. Innate personality traits. from birth, more reserved, modest, slow and timid compared to their extrovert peers. Shyness is an integral character trait for them;
2. Education is also of no small importance in the formation of personality. If a child feels that he is not protected in the family, then he will have complicated relationship and with the outside world;
3. Insecure, modest and withdrawn parents, who perceive new people as a danger to themselves, pass on their behavioral features and to your child. Children always imitate adults. That is why shy parents most often grow up the same children;
4. Parents who don't trust the world often bring their children into their lives a large number of all sorts of taboos and restrictions. In addition, adults do not let the child go away from themselves, do not give him the opportunity to independently explore the world around. With time small man gets used to the idea that it is warm and safe under the parental wing and ceases to strive for discoveries, communication with other people. Such children find it difficult to adapt to new circumstances, have difficulty starting to go to kindergarten or school, find it difficult to mutual language with unfamiliar people, they develop shyness;
5. In addition to unhealthy relationships in the family, modesty can be caused by low self-esteem. In such cases, people tend to underestimate self-worth, unable to take decisive and important for own life actions, cannot fully communicate. This is explained inner fear do something wrong or do something wrong.

Some people with especially fragile self-esteem try not to do anything new at all, as they feel good only when the work is done perfectly. Unfortunately, in real life, this is almost impossible to achieve. A small mistake for them is a huge tragedy that makes them feel completely incompetent and useless.

That is why such individuals try not to go beyond the framework of the long-studied and understandable. It is not surprising that such people prefer to communicate only in a well-known circle.

The very modesty this case acts not as a protective factor, but as an obstacle to self-improvement.

Ways to overcome modesty

How to get rid of shyness, if nature has endowed you with it in full? First you need to understand yourself, understand the causes of the problem. Only after self-analysis can one proceed to practical action to eliminate modesty.

How to get rid of modesty?

• At the very beginning, it is necessary to individualize this feature.

It is necessary to understand the reasons for which modesty arose, to determine the situations in which it most fully reveals itself. In addition, you need to understand what the state is connected with. Only after introspection can a reliable answer be given to the question: how to stop being shy;

• The next step is self-understanding.

How to get rid of modesty? Understand that the world around you has no purpose to monitor your actions and evaluate them. Most of people are so busy with their own problems that they don't care about your minor oversights. You should not compare yourself with others. Only accepting yourself with all your weaknesses and peculiarities, understanding your feelings and desires will improve your own life, destroy the barriers that do not allow you to develop;

• How to get rid of shyness

Find all your . There are no people who do not have merit. One of the main tasks in everyone's life is to determine their talent, its development. You should find what works best in life and develop this ability.

Definition of your forte will help to strengthen self-esteem, will give the opportunity to go your own way. This measure in the question: how to overcome shyness, is short-term. However, it is able to give faith that it is possible to destroy the barrier of fears and restrictions;

• Modesty itself is not born just like that

It develops on the inability to please yourself. Each person must learn to properly evaluate himself, to love his individuality. Every day you should get acquainted with yourself, with your characteristics, pay attention to habits;

• How to overcome shyness, if around great amount successful bright people?

The basic rule is to stop striving to look like everyone else. Each person is individual, and this is the beauty of life. You should not try to imitate someone.

All attempts to achieve similarity with non-standard personalities will only lead to a number of disappointments, and ultimately to a decrease in self-esteem. You should develop your individual characteristics, strive for originality;

• If a environment makes you feel uncomfortable, you should try to focus on other people. In no case should you close yourself in your experiences;
• How to overcome shyness in a difficult situation?

Often unforeseen circumstances cause a feeling of fear. In such cases, you can cope with anxiety with the help of correct breathing. Technics breathing exercises very simple, but very effective. Close your eyes and take deep breaths. All attention should be focused solely on breathing.

Yoga experts also advise a certain technique that allows you to cope with anxiety. To do this, you need to count during inhalation and exhalation. Gradually, you should equalize your breathing. For example, when inhaling, count up to 4 and when exhaling, count up to 4. after the breath becomes even, you should add a number to each breath. The exercise should be performed for several minutes.

• Releasing blocked energy is another answer to the question: how to overcome shyness. Sports activities help relieve stress. Also very effective method- meditation;
• How to overcome shyness? Imagine yourself confident and full of happiness man. Visualization helps to form a positive image;
• Modesty itself is nothing but a program setting. You can overcome it with affirmations. Everyone knows that every word carries power. Repeated repetition of the same installation affects a person, helping him to achieve what he wants;
• How to overcome shyness? Give as much as possible more attention situations that cause discomfort. To do this, you need to analyze your feelings, while you should answer yourself the questions: “For what reason do I have such feelings? What triggered these reactions in me? Are there any explanations for what happened?
• Don't be too negative about rejection. Each person throughout his life repeatedly hears “no” in response to his requests or actions. Don't make a tragedy out of this. It is necessary to understand that the reason for the refusal is not your actions and not yourself, but certain circumstances;
• How to stop being shy? Say no to perfectionism. It should be remembered that there is no in the world ideal people, things, actions and events;
• Social skills training is the best answer to the question: how to stop being shy. Communication experience must be gained in practice. The more there will be social connections, the easier it will be to find a common language with people in the future.

modesty itself is not negative trait character. However, excessive shyness can greatly ruin the life of even the most talented person. How to stop being shy? Everyone can answer this question. You just need to carefully understand the causes of your fears.

Difficulties on the path of life for humble people

Modesty is nothing more than a barrier to success in life.

Shyness can make it difficult to find a good promising work. In some cases, people deny themselves the desired work only because when it is done, they will have to do a number of actions that are unpleasant for their sense of self: communicate with a large number new people to use public transport, to be near unfamiliar, and sometimes, with unpleasant personalities.

Humility is not only a loss of career opportunities.

Shyness leads to the fact that a person becomes timid, he avoids the crowd, he will never be seen in the spotlight. Shy people often blush when they are approached by a stranger. Sweating of the palms, rapid breathing, nervous clenching of the hands - all this occurs in humble person in a new situation for him.

Positive aspects of modesty

Shyness - psychological feature, which allows you to protect the individual from unjustified risks and dangers.

Humble people are often excellent interlocutors. However, they are able to open up only in small companies with well-known people.

The complete opposite humble people are reckless, aggressive, arrogant personalities. They are quite capable of unpredictable actions, which sometimes lead to sad consequences.

Modesty itself in this context is not something unacceptable. According to evolution the greatest results in terms of life expectancy, it is precisely those individuals who behave most prudently and do not neglect the norms of behavior. However, excessive shyness can also do a disservice to its owner.

That is, a person is afraid of everything unfamiliar, and of the familiar too. shy person feels shame and timidity in certain conditions, situations. Of course, this boundary is very conditional and blurred.

The essence and causes of shyness

From birth, all children openly express their own, but social experience contributes. Sometimes the situation is unfavorable for the child, he becomes shy.

Shyness as a character trait is formed, as a rule, in childhood. The foundations are laid by the family and the school. Most of all, shyness is affected. Low self-esteem in a child may occur with incorrect pedagogical position teacher and destructive:

• reproaches, insults, criticism, comparison with other children;
• high unbearable requirements;
• punishment and humiliation;
• public ridicule or punishment;
• emotional detachment;
• suppression of the initiative.

These characteristics are inherent mainly in the authoritarian style of parenting, but individual elements are found in others. With constant exposure to such conditions, the child's self-esteem inevitably falls. Against this background, then shyness arises, which is based on:

• be rejected;
• to be punished;
• make a mistake;
• to be ridiculed;
• be misunderstood.

The situation is exacerbated when destructive upbringing is superimposed on innate characteristics. For example, impressionable people are more prone to shyness. They experience failures and emotional upheavals more sharply and longer.

The child grows, along with him without corrective work the number and scale of fears are growing: fear of dismissal, loss of money, loneliness, failure, wrong decision, own desires and thoughts. In turn, because of this, initiative, activity, responsibility, determination are lost. A person prefers to remain silent, to surrender, to retreat, to yield. Problems arise in love, employment or promotion career ladder, friendship, communication.

If it were not for fears and shyness, then successful and happy people it would be many times more. But I have good news A: Shyness can be dealt with. This must be done, since shyness does not allow a person to fulfill himself and take place in life.

How to get rid of shyness

First of all, you need to learn that our goal is to transform shyness into adequate and appropriate modesty, tact, politeness. In addition, it is important not to go to the other extreme - arrogance, unscrupulousness, obsession.

If shyness makes itself felt locally, that is, in specific circumstances, then it is this area that needs to be worked out. For example, shyness at general labor meetings or when meeting girls, or in a group of new acquaintances. Or shyness from compliments good relations help (because a person is familiar only with opposite phenomena). For a particular case, respectively, and the recommendations will be private.

In general, any situation requires a private consideration, since it is necessary to start from the root of the problem - internal barriers from childhood. I recommend contacting a specialist for this.

Well, in the form of an ambulance medical care and available alternative you can try the following:

• Try to find and analyze the root cause yourself. Look at the situation from the perspective of all participants, evaluate the actions of each person with an adult look. Think about whether you have any reason to really consider yourself unworthy, weak. Or someone gave it to you. Think about why the other participant in the situation acted the way that you can say about him. Shouldn't you feel sorry for him, praise yourself and let go of the situation?
• Children tend to perceive criticism and any events more emotionally and sharply than adults. Think about whether the situation was really so critical? At the same time, think about what role this particular person and situation plays in your life. current life? Is he in it at all? If not, then why allow absolutely to a stranger take your life, criticize, evaluate? It's just an outside observer.
• After theory, move on to practice. . How to do it? Do what you are afraid of, what you did not dare to do. Write down on paper all the beliefs that govern you. For example, shy people they are very fond of saying “I can’t do anything”, “I can’t draw”, “I can’t speak in public”, “Oh no, this is too risky for me.” Begin to come out of your shell by gradually completing each written item. Realize that your self-discredit is a habit and the result of suggestion. In fact, you are the most talented and unique person, it’s just that someone understood this before you and, out of envy, inspired you to the opposite, asserting yourself at your expense. Try (for the first time or again)!
• After all, what's stopping you from trying something on your own? Take your time, do not immediately expose yourself to the audience. Meet and, because you don’t know your true self at all. You are guided by someone's (obviously outdated and inadequate) assessment, idea of ​​you. Make up your mind, do self-knowledge.
• Keep a diary. It is always useful to write down your thoughts, especially at the moment of transformation. Record each or the most significant stages in your opinion. make diagrams, comparison tables. Be sure to record your personal successes.
• Use daily. Form phrases for self-hypnosis that are relevant in your case. For example, “I draw beautifully”, “I am an excellent speaker”, “I easily meet girls.”
• “What people will say (think)” is another reason for shyness, generated by other people's fears and imposed. People will always find something to say. Choose your line and follow it. You cannot please and please everyone. This is normal and needs to be understood. Write a description of the person you would like to interact with. This is the image you should strive for. What do you already have in common with him, and what needs to be worked on? Make a plan to embody this image. It is very important that you like yourself, then there will be like-minded people, and opponents (where without them), and neutral sides. No need to be afraid and try to avoid it.
• If this is still difficult, then try to imagine the positive reactions of people. For some reason, very often the thought “What will people think?” has a negative connotation. But it is precisely the idea of ​​people's reactions that hinders a person long before the reactions themselves.
• Learn to communicate with people: smile, compliment, greet. Sometimes shyness doesn’t even let you say “thank you”. Speak up. Let shyness be visible, but it is much more pleasant and sweeter than silence. It is perceived by interlocutors as anger, arrogance, arrogance, rudeness, unwillingness to contact.
• State your desires directly to those around you: “I want to overcome my shyness. It will probably be difficult for me, but I will try. And it will be a pleasure for me to receive your support and understanding.”
• Keep track of your appearance: posture, look, voice. Practice near a mirror.
• The constraint is often accompanied by psychophysiological reactions (sweating, redness). Learn techniques to control these states. And remember: no concentration on the problem. The more you think about blushing, the more you will blush.
• Get rid of perfectionism. Often people are embarrassed to do something because of the fear that it will not work out perfectly. But there is no ideal in the world. Allow yourself to be imperfect.
• Focus on successes, not failures. Develop and.
• Adjust your self-esteem and love yourself.

In some cases, shyness is caused by hormonal imbalance, mental pathologies, hyperthymic. In this case, psychotherapy or psychological consultations are supplemented with drug treatment.

Changing habits, and even more so character traits, is always difficult. It is a long and difficult journey in which main element- your wish. Without it, not a single piece of advice, not a single psychologist will help. Or are you ready to get rid of shyness and deal with internal barriers, be active, or you continue to live, embarrassing yourself in society and your own life. You worthy person who needs optimal, free, and not cramped living conditions.

I recommend finding the book by Leila Lowndes Goodbye Shyness! 85 ways to overcome shyness and gain self-confidence. She is in free access in the Internet. The book discusses in detail the causes and manifestations of shyness. Are given practical advice both for living within shyness (until you overcome it), and for dealing with it.

Exercise 1: Changing the habitual scenario of behavior.

Imagine (remember) a situation in which you are embarrassed to look at a man, for example. Recreate all the details of what is happening, your feelings, the reaction of others (the man you like) and the outcome (most likely, zero).

Now transfer yourself to the same situation and imagine that you behave differently. For example, you began to seduce this man. You are beautiful and do not hide it. Now it's not scary - it's just fiction. Focus. Capture your feelings.

Take a close look at those around you. How does a man react to the sparkle in your eyes? How did he look when he realized that you looked? How do you lure him? What does he do in response?

By mentally changing the scenario of events, did you get the desired result?

Did you like it?

What new feelings do you have?

Do you like your new sensations?

Remember them!

And in every situation, when it's time - switch to a pleasant feeling: they noticed me, I did it!

Attention, when successful application method, be sure to remember how great you did it! At every next case a positive experience will be your true sail on the way to seducing the man you like.

Activity 2: I play a role.

It's not scary to play someone's role. After all, it's not you. And therefore, if suddenly, it doesn’t work out, then it’s not for you.

You can say to yourself: now I will not be in the situation. And, for example, it will be Zhanna Friske - during her lifetime, a bright, sexy, burning woman! Watch the video with her participation, carefully consider how she presents herself: how she looks, how she moves, how she speaks. And enter into her image.

And let Zhanna Friske in your beautiful acting incarnation talk with the man you like! Watch Zhanna Friske from the side. Improve your skills. Even if it doesn't work the first time, it's okay. Jeanne did not immediately manage to conquer the audience.

If you liked this method, then over time, when the first positive result is obtained, return from Jeanne to your body. And introduce a new condition: now you give vent to your personal attractiveness, and Jeanne at first will be your faithful guide.

Exercise 3: Motivate yourself.

Your desired feeling is I like you. You really want to feel it, to make sure of it not only alone with yourself, but also to receive confirmation in outside world. Enjoy: "I like" alone with yourself. Feel the pleasure of the presented external signs its attractiveness. It is surprisingly pleasant to watch how men "catch" on you. Bring this desired idea into reality. When constraint appears, translate it into joy, enjoyment from the result of self-expression.

1. When a man looks at me, I am embarrassed, afraid that something is wrong with me.

Can't he love me?

If they look at it, it means that the fly is not buttoned up, and they want to laugh at me?

(add your projections)

If you have successfully completed the previous chapters and filled with new states, then, I hope, you yourself understand the absurdity of such statements. When, by inertia, such habitual perception returns, just say to yourself: “I know that this is complete nonsense! ”, and immediately close the topic, transfer it to a different direction.

1. I'm afraid I won't be able to attract a man.

I can't and then...

• I suddenly realize that I am ugly (incapable, worthless, mediocre, add your own lines). Translate such thoughts into a state of self-confidence. Learn to live, think, reason in a new way, as it says in the previous chapters.
• The fear of “failure” can be easily translated into awareness: the result “failure” = the result “so I didn’t do anything”. Therefore, “it won’t work out” (didn’t get the desired result) it’s pointless to be afraid - in doing nothing (in the absence of a result due to: no effort was made), you already live every day.
• The fear “I will look like a fool” is dispelled by reality: men do not realize when female charms fly at them. They perceive everything as a natural course of events. And if you didn’t succeed, it means that Cupid’s arrow flew past - and he didn’t notice anything. And you can say to yourself: I took the course " young fighter”in the direction: throwing arrows of Cupid - what does it have to do with it, fool, or not a fool? Does a novice student immediately reach heights?
• Installation: if I flirt (like) a man, then I behave obscenely. This is someone else's shame (for example, it may belong to your father), not yours. You are not responsible for someone else's shame. Give it to the owner. Realize the absurdity of this attitude. And decide if you want to carry it with you? She's yours? Do you need her? I suspect not. Then your new setting: I'll do it because I want to!

Now you carry the pride of your father: “my daughter is a worthy beauty who knows how to conquer men, but, as befits a queen, she chooses the best from them.”

• Fear of possible undesirable consequences(suddenly a man starts to pester me). By the way, caution never hurt anyone. Plan your actions in such a way that the consequences are not dangerous for you. If you went looking for adventures at night looking, then turn around now and go home to sleep. Light, non-committal flirting can be afforded during the day, in crowded places and decent men.
• A wonderful way to overcome any fear is to start doing (fulfilling your intentions, changing behavior patterns in practice) in spite of trembling knees. The scariest first step. When you overcome it, there will be nothing to be afraid of. Do not stretch this dubious pleasure "I'm afraid" for a long time. Take the first, let the crumpled step, and the worst will be behind. There are no losses ahead - they were in your inaction, ahead, in action - acquisitions!
• And finally, the worst of all fears. If none of the proposed methods turned out to be yours, then act on the contrary.

Yes I lung woman behavior.

I look the man in the eye (what a nightmare!).

I flirt with him (shoot me, I'm ashamed!).

I deliberately attract him.

I want to please him.

And now, as they say, “tear your brain” and find the answer to the main question:

So what?!

Exercise 5: Reprogram Childish Unwanted Script.

Suitable for the case when your actions are the result of subconscious protection from unwanted situations- for example, your teenage story is akin to the Machine. In Machine's case, it is necessary to replace the vulgar look of the father with the protective look of the pope, in which there is love, protection, reliability, admiration. Methods for reprogramming scenarios of behavior: fairy tale therapy (you come up with a new scenario for yourself. Let it not be true, let the fairy tale be your task to believe and embody new healthy feelings in life), group work (trainings), individual work with a psychologist, NLP techniques(neuro-linguistic programming) - read on the Internet.

Exercise 6: Everything has already passed.

Imagine that you have already passed this path and received successful results. As in any well-known, thoroughly studied case, everything turns out naturally, by itself - not even interesting. You are in a relaxed, slightly indifferent state. You know the successful outcome of events - there is no doubt about it. Switch to free light indifference and go for it!

Exercise 7:

Make a deal with yourself. In fact, what do you lose in case of failure compared to doing nothing? - absolutely nothing! What do you lose by doing nothing? - that's right, you're losing your chance (for success!).

And yes, failure in the beginning is normal. If you didn't have to study, you wouldn't be reading this article.

How to get rid of shyness?

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Many of us condemn liberated, self-confident people, although in fact we want to be like them. This is not surprising, since such individuals strive to become the soul of the company, they energize and leave a piece of themselves after leaving. On the other hand, non-shy people seem self-confident and arrogant. One way or another, in order to overcome shyness, you need to study all aspects and draw up a competent plan. Let's talk about everything in order.

Reasons for shyness

1. People become shy when they spend a lot of time alone. The inability to communicate socially is caused by a lack of basic communication skills.
2. The genetic factor also contributed. If a child grows up in a family with shy parents, this feature will be transferred automatically.
3. Insecure people are often shy. This is due to constant criticism from others or low self-esteem imposed by the subconscious.
4. Fear of communication with others and, as a result, isolation, arise due to the experience psychological trauma. A person tries to protect himself from future losses, so he becomes shy.
5. If a child lives in a family that regularly criticizes and humiliates him, the child will automatically grow up withdrawn. The same applies to children living in permanent bans.
6. There are people who are afraid to "fall into the mud face." This is due to public censure, a person does not want to be rejected by colleagues, friends, relatives and even unfamiliar people.
7. Stereotypes influence the formation of life principles. If a child has been constantly praised and had high expectations, he will try to do everything so as not to destroy the illusion. Such a person is afraid to express his thoughts in the future.

How to get rid of shyness

It should be remembered that isolation is not a vice. Young girls are much more attractive when a blush appears on their cheeks, and their voice trembles slightly. However, if such a feature prevents you from fully existing, you need to get rid of it.

Method number 1. Chat with strangers

1. In most cases, people become shy well in advance of interacting with strangers. Such behavior is erroneous, because you cannot baptize children with these people.
2. Accept invitations from friends to visit various parties, concerts, cinemas. Get in the habit of meeting at least 2 new people a month.
3. At first, you can smooth the corners by making friends through social media. Start with VKontakte or Odnoklassniki, then make an appointment yourself when you're ready.
4. Get out more often. Visit crowded cafes and restaurants, crowded places. Stand in line while paying public utilities, communicate.
5. get busy independent decision pressing issues. This applies more to visiting authorities and other serious offices (passport office, housing and communal services, tax, etc.).

Method number 2. Find new buddies

1. Visit social groups or register on forums where people share their doubts. Find someone with the same problem. Discuss with him the topic: "How to overcome shyness."
2. It is also recommended to find a person by the method of "on the contrary". It is important that a new acquaintance does not have complexes and shyness. similar personality will constantly pull you out of your comfort zone. This will help loosen up.
3. Each person comes into your life for a reason. Choose a circle of communication in such a way that people of all social groups. Of course, you should not go into crime.
4. If possible, communicate only with successful people. Create an idol for yourself, follow his path. Do not be afraid of your own mistakes, they are required for experience.

Method number 3. Do bold things

1. Analyze your life. Highlight the actions that you could not decide long time. Have you been planning to jump with a rope or a parachute for a long time? Dare!
2. Regardless of whether you are a man or a woman, take a closer look at motor vehicles. people on two wheels iron horses look bold and confident. Unlearn category "A", buy a sports bike and equipment.
3. Acts that can overcome shyness include participation in television programs (in particular extras), beauty contests and other public speaking. Presenting your thoughts to the public will liberate you, most importantly, prepare carefully.
4. If you're a girl, wear an extravagant petite top or high heels. Reconsider your image, recolor your hair in a bright shade. Visit a fetish hangout, visit charity events or become a volunteer.
5. People who have long-term sympathy for opposite sex, it is worth inviting a person on a date. Take courage and dare, live for today.
6. In all of these actions, it is important to know the measure. Do not jump right off the bat, think about your own safety and morale. Do not run into trouble, carefully plan and predict all actions.

Method number 4. Gain confidence

1. In most cases, people become shy because of complexes that appear over the years or stem from childhood. To get rid of shyness, it is necessary to eliminate uncertainty in all possible ways.
2. If you don't feel comfortable because the weight class is over the top, go for it. Sign up for a gym, get rid of cellulite, go on a diet. Buy clothes that hide imperfections.
3. Revisit your image. Do new haircut, change your hair color, go for a manicure and pedicure. Attend makeup courses, find "your" cosmetics, don't go out without makeup.
4. Get rid of the "junk". It includes old clothes with spools and outstretched knees, shabby shoes and bags, old jackets. Replace every discarded item with a new, more stylish and unusual one.
5. Evaluate your capabilities with regards to your current profession, develop in your career, increase your earnings. Try to communicate with people who have already achieved heights. Learn their secrets of success, share your own experience.
6. Love pushes for more, find a gentleman or life partner. Pretend for the sake of your loved one, make each other happy. A stable personal life adds confidence.

Method number 5. Describe yourself

1. Prepare a notebook, write down your positive aspects in it. Be sure to specify not only about mental and physical abilities, but also external data.
2. For example, you can write that you are positive, courageous, successful. It is desirable to clarify the ability to achieve goals and objectives, responsive nature, kindness.
3. If you are having difficulty with your characterization, contact your relatives or friends. Compose psychological picture together.
4. You need to specify as many as possible positive qualities. Number them for clarity. Hang the list on the refrigerator or bathroom mirror. Re-read every morning and believe in what you have written.
5. It is important to remember forever that a person is made up of own thoughts and beliefs. Think positively about yourself, never doubt your own abilities.

Method number 6. Develop materially and spiritually

1. In the near future you need to communicate more with versatile people. This method will increase your communication skills and relieve you of shyness.
2. To become interesting interlocutor develop spiritually. Read books, attend seminars personal growth. Examine your social circle, remove those who pull you down.
3. money play big role in modern world. People who say otherwise are deeply mistaken. With finance you can secure yourself decent life, travel, be confident in the future.
4. Isn't that what eradicates shyness?! Look for a more profitable profession or ways additional income. Never stop. Get in the habit of raising your salary by at least 10% per month. At the same time, learn to procrastinate.
5. If you still don't know who you want to be, it's time to fix the situation. Analyze what you are drawn to the most. Perhaps to mathematics, art or other creativity? Do you like to work with your hands or your head? Based on this, shape yourself.

Method number 7. go in for sports

1. Worthy physical form Raises self-esteem and fighting spirit. Sport halls many people visit, so contact with them is often indispensable. Feel free to ask how to use certain simulators. Look for new acquaintances.
2. Agree with friends that you will throw off 5 kg. and pump up the buttocks, abs, arms. Limit yourself to specific limits. Start running, jump rope, squat.
3. It is not necessary to spend fabulous money on a subscription. Enjoy summer and winter sports without overpaying your hard-earned funds.
4. If you still decide to visit specific sections, consider Pilates, water aerobics, stretching, yoga, dancing of all directions, kickboxing, cross-fit.
5. In clubs you will be taught to behave liberated. The coach will tell you how to get rid of shyness and will do everything to ensure that you achieve your goals. Especially shy people should turn to a professional instructor in a particular sport.

Method number 8. Please your loved ones

1. Learn to give joy to relatives and close friends. In return, they will show gratitude to you, make compliments. In this simple way, you will gain confidence and stop doubting yourself.
2. Stop conflicts, do not harbor anger and resentment. They will eat you from the inside. Communicate with people politely, give tenderness and love to those who deserve it.
3. For your own peace of mind, start a calendar. Specify in it significant dates, birthdays of their friends and relatives. It is important to understand that without social communication the person fades.

Identify the causes of shyness, eradicate them in short time. Constantly work on yourself, do not stop there. Find passive income climb the career ladder. Review your wardrobe and your image in general. Go in for sports, look for new circles of acquaintances, travel. Take the initiative in communicating with friends, improve your personal life, please loved ones.

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