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We are all different and react differently to the world. Some almost burst into tears, others will never knock out a tear.Both extremes have their drawbacks. Roaring for any reason - in front of friends, employees or complete strangers - is extremely unpleasant. On the other hand, going through all the problems "dry" can lead to the accumulation of stress and even health problems. Psychologist Maria Pugacheva helped us figure out how to find the golden mean.

Why are we different?

The propensity to shed tears depends on personality traits human: character, temperament, upbringing, metabolism and even memories. If a person associates a situation with an unpleasant memory or mental trauma, then it may well cause tears in him, although others will not see anything terrible in it.

It is practically impossible to do anything with this predisposition, just as it is impossible to change the type of temperament. "Tears are, first of all, physiological response, defensive reaction to stress. There is very little psychology here, so learning to control tearing is almost impossible. But you can try to reduce the level of stress as much as possible at the time of the oncoming crying, then there is a chance to stop the tears.- explained Maria Pugacheva.

I'm not crying!

People who often cry sometimes find themselves in situations where tears flow at the most inopportune moment. The boss unfairly scolded, the coach in the gym made a remark or was rude on the bus, and now they already have a lump in their throat, their voice begins to tremble treacherously, their eyes are moistened. You really don't want to cry in front of strangers! But tears do not care about what you want, they flow on their own, and this makes it even more offensive and makes you want to cry even more ...

Maria Pugacheva gave some tips to help hold back tears that come at the wrong time:

• Have a drink a large number of large sips of water.
• Take 5-10 deep breaths in and out.
• If possible, make some sharp, intense movements.
• Trigger a "pain response" by switching stress from psychological to physiological. Pinch yourself discreetly, bite your tongue a little, or pull on a lock of your hair. This method usually allows you to quickly recover.
• Switch your brain off stressful situation: start to remember verses, phone numbers, multiplication tables in your mind.
• If a particular offender caused tears in you, do not feel sorry for yourself, but switch to it. Mentally laugh at him - remember his ridiculous habits or dress him up in your imagination in a clown costume.

Crying is good

These techniques will help the right situation to hold back tears. But don't try to do it all the time, because Psychologists say that crying is good for you.

"Tears are a kind of psychological relaxation and physiological protection from stress. Therefore, you do not need to constantly restrain them. Feel free to cry over a movie or just to yourself at home. If we just shed a tear quietly, this is a tiny release. And when we sob actively, we take many deep breaths in and out, rib cage is greatly reduced. Thus, we throw off the negative from ourselves at the level of physiology, giving ourselves the opportunity to avoid various psychosomatic clamps that can lead to osteochondrosis, radiculitis and other unpleasant diseases.– explained Maria Pugacheva.

Do you cry often? Have you ever found yourself in uncomfortable situations because of this?

The article talks about how to hold back tears, depending on the situation.

There are situations when pain and resentment cause a desire to cry, however, there are also situations when these tears will be inappropriate. How can we make sure that no one sees our tears?

How to hold back tears when you want to cry from resentment, when talking?

Sometimes it is very difficult to hold back tears, and there are even situations when it seems that it is simply impossible to do so. In this case, psychologists have several ways, using which you can take control of the situation.

• switch attention

To do this, you can use some questions that will definitely make you distract from crying. These are questions like “is my stove turned off?” or “is my apartment closed?”.

You can remember the multiplication table, the lyrics of your favorite song, or the password for something important to you.

You can also switch your attention in another way, turning your gaze to some object. It is desirable that the object of your attention has many small details that should be carefully considered, counted, etc.

• turn on the imagination

To do this, you can imagine the person who offended you in a bizarre way. The most important thing here is not to laugh, otherwise you can harm yourself even more in an already tense situation.

• Pinch yourself or bite your lip

Physical sensations that you will definitely focus on, for example, while pinching your wrist, can also help to recede emotions.

• Focus on your breath or hold it completely

To do this, you need to slowly and deeply inhale through your nose and exhale for a long time through your mouth, concentrating on the process itself. Also during emergency the human body itself is able to get rid of secondary matters, so you can just hold your breath.

• drink water

If possible, you should drink water, concentrating on the process itself. It is necessary to drink slowly, in small sips.

• Make sudden movements

Sharp movements always help to relieve tension, so you can try to stand up abruptly, sit down abruptly, open a window, push a chair, etc. If it is not possible to make sudden movements, then you can simply try to abruptly change position, straighten your shoulders, raise your head, while concentrating on your breathing.

• Avoid direct views of third parties

Any, even a small look of sympathy in your direction can cause a rapid flow of tears, so you should avoid such looks in every possible way. There is no need to look at anyone, it is better to look out the window, at a picture, etc.

• Use a pen or phone

If the situation and conditions permit, then critical situation you can start writing something nice on a piece of paper. Thus, it will be possible to distract from a stressful situation.

You can also use, for example, mobile phone or tablet. If tears begin to come, then you can just get distracted and look at the Internet.

• Leave the room during the heat of passion

If the situation has escalated to the limit, then, avoiding tears, you should leave the room where you were caught in an unpleasant situation as soon as possible. Such a decision will help to avoid tears, let go of the situation, calm down.

After the tension recedes, you can try to continue the conversation.

After the situation that could cause you to cry is left behind, you should proceed as follows:

• Wash your face, neck, arms up to the elbow with cool water. You can use an ice cube by putting it on your wrist

Wash your face - avoid tears

• Look in the mirror and smile, even when you don't feel like it. Tell yourself everything is fine
• Think about something pleasant, if you wish, you can read a prayer
• drink sweet tea
• speak up, talk about exciting question someone close who can support you

How to hold back tears from pain?

There are also some ways that will help to avoid tears not only from resentment, but also from pain. For this you need:

• Keep your eyes open as wide as possible, while trying not to blink
• It is necessary to raise your eyebrows high and stay in this position until the pain begins to subside
• It is necessary to look up, while not raising your head. Stay in this state until the pain begins to recede
• It is necessary to relax all the muscles of the face and open wide-wide and then close the mouth several times.

In order not to cry from pain, you can use some of the tips from the previous section.

How to learn to control tears and emotions?

In order to learn to hold back your tears, control your emotions, you should increase your self-esteem.

You can increase your self-confidence and your abilities with daily workouts. To do this, standing in front of a mirror, you should tell yourself that nothing and no one threatens you, that you will go through all the hardships, that you are strong, smart, self-confident.

Among other things, it is worth taking care in advance about what thoughts will distract you from the situation itself in a stressful situation, when you are overwhelmed with emotions or you are about to cry.

Whatever situations arise in Everyday life, it should be remembered that tears are not always a manifestation of weakness. Sometimes tears are simply necessary to relieve stress during emotional release It's just the body's response to stress.

Video: How to learn to hold back tears and is it worth it? - Everything will be fine. Issue 894 dated 10/11/16

The first thing you can try to do is try not to think about the things that make you cry. The more you think about them, the more you want to cry. Think, for example, about your work or study. Engage yourself in a problem that requires your maximum concentration. For example, try mentally multiplying two-digit or three-digit numbers or just keep a count of all the objects around you. However, do not think about things that make you tender. They can lead to tears, which in your case will only worsen the situation.

Control yourself

Crying is most often directly related to emotional experiences. Therefore, the natural way to prevent tears is to control yourself. Try to calm down, close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Breathe slowly and through your nose. This will help you release the tension that occurs just before crying and stabilize your emotional state. You can try counting to 10 by alternating between inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. This will help you to move away from negative thoughts as much as possible.

Physical activity

You can also distract yourself to prevent crying. physical movements. Some of them block tears naturally. Try, for example, biting your lips, pinching yourself, or clenching your hands as tightly as possible into a fist. Similar physical activity won't let you cry. However, do not bring yourself to pain, it can cause reverse effect. Sometimes it is easier to hold back tears when they are already coming. At this moment, try to open your eyes as much as possible and raise your eyebrows up. It is almost impossible to cry in this position.

Try also to go for a short run on outdoors or get busy exercise. The tighter they are, the better. Such activity will lead to the release of endorphins by the body, which will cheer you up, give you vigor and thus keep you from crying.

Lump in the throat

If you are in a stressful situation and are very emotional about it, holding back tears can be extremely difficult. The main problem in this case, there is a sensation of a lump in the throat, which occurs as a result of expansion glottis in your throat. This leads to nervous tension and makes you cry. To get rid of this feeling, drink a glass of water in small sips. This will help relax the muscles and calm the nerves. If you can't drink, take slow, deep breaths. Try swallowing air, sometimes it helps to soothe your throat.

Man is an extremely complex being, with a highly developed nervous system and pronounced mental activity. We are all - more or less lesser degree- subject to emotions. Anger, irritation, tearfulness or euphoria, “walking in the clouds” and “rose-colored glasses”, mood swings - all these are manifestations of our world of feelings, without which a person would long ago have turned into a robotic, soulless creature.

Tears as a reaction to emotions with plus and minus signs

What emotions throughout life do we experience more often - positive or negative? It is rather difficult to answer this question. And who can count how many times we stretch our lips in a smile, sigh with relief or tensely and wipe treacherous tears. It was only for Princess Nesmeyana that buckets were placed during her sobs, so that’s why she’s a fairy tale! Is it possible not to cry at all? From physical, sadness and even joy? Absolutely - of course not! And why, for example, restrain yourself if your eyes are wet from a long-awaited meeting with your loved one, or if something made you laugh immensely? On the contrary, such emotions bring only positive, cleansing and inspiring moments. Is it necessary not to cry when it’s really hard and some unpleasant events put pressure on the heart like a stone, disturb the consciousness, embarrass? Psychologists unequivocally say: on the contrary, in such cases, crying is not just necessary, but necessary! Why? Because, splashing out everything that has boiled up, we thus get a psychological discharge, and the body is freed from stress. If we keep the negative in ourselves, experience it silently, then emotions accumulate, compressing our psyche, just like a spring is compressed under pressure. But this process is not endless! And one day an explosion will follow, the result of which can be depression, neurosis, insomnia and many other serious problems. Do you want to control yourself in any situation, not to cry? Then prepare in advance to become a patient of a psychotherapist!

When to restrain yourself

We considered situations in which tears are a protective natural reaction of the body to external stimuli. However, any emotion is a double-edged sword. When it becomes affective, i.e. superfluous, exaggerated forms, the picture begins to take on clinical appearance. And here, indeed, it should be understood that in other cases it is better to restrain oneself and not cry than to dismiss oneself and nurse on every occasion. And not always the situation is conducive to the open manifestation of feelings. If you were insulted, then to show tears in front of the offender means to humiliate yourself even more, to show your own weakness and sensitivity, that is, to give your enemy another reason to gloat and triumph. Do you need it? So let's think about how to learn not to cry in an inappropriate environment.

Learn to dominate

Yes, that's exactly what the first tip sounds like. Develop restraint and self-control, the ability to control emotions, to show a strong-willed moment. good support In this regard, you will be provided with various auto-trainings. The easiest and most accessible way to calm down and not cry is to take a deep breath several times and count to ... Some up to 10, and some more. The main thing is that after similar exercise you somewhat relaxed, pulled yourself together, and feelings returned to a more familiar course and degree. This is, so to speak, advice for situations in force majeure. And in general - a long and hard work on yourself!

Evidence by contradiction

How not to cry if you want? One more good remedy- the ability to look at the problem from a slightly different position, when it ceases to seem fatal. As in geometry - evidence by contradiction. Did your husband leave for someone else? Yes, it hurts, it’s hard, it’s insulting, it’s hopeless ... You can pick up epithets endlessly. Or you can sit down and try to think differently: and “his” departure is the prospect of new acquaintances, hobbies, flirting, and so on. One page of life is turned and another begins. If there are children, then, of course, the situation is more complicated. But after all, no one cancels the financial and other assistance of the “former”! Therefore, you should not behave as if "life was cut short." Not! What makes us stronger - adopt this worldly wisdom, and it will teach you how not to cry from pain, but to protect yourself, your inner world from outward cruelty.

From a smile

Psychologists often recommend: when they start scratching cats on their hearts, go to the mirror and smile. At first, with a stretch, even if your smile looks like a grin. Then again, again and again ... Until you get a joyful, sincere smile, from the bottom of your heart. And at this moment you will feel how it becomes easier, brighter, and what tormented you ceases to be so important. Repeat the exercise more often, smile at your reflection, enjoy meeting with yourself! Proven in practice: this method is good not only for those who are thinking about how to do it so as not to cry. It will help any person to cheer up, gain cheerfulness and self-confidence. Therefore, remembering the famous words of Baron Munchausen, smile, gentlemen, smile!

distraction moment

If you are interested in how to never cry, we are forced to disappoint you: it is not feasible. No wonder the poet said: "Who did not cry, he did not live." But to reduce the experience to a minimum - you can. How? Learn to switch and be distracted. You feel that it has “rolled up” and is about to overwhelm - try to distract yourself. For this, someone grabs a vacuum cleaner or washing powder, someone enthusiastically scribbles on a typewriter, trying to kill the “setting teeth” with the anticipation of a new outfit. Someone is saved by the kitchen and the original recipe, while others pull their hair out of the swamp of the torment with rhythmic music, a comedy film or an action-packed book, prayer, meditation, sports equipment and even sex ... All means here are good, as long as they give the necessary mental relaxation and serve effective lightning rod.

Turning to scream

Yes, if you are choking with tears, it will be useful to simply “shout out”. In a cry, we express not only accumulated emotions, but also physical stress. Close yourself in your room and shout whatever comes to mind - furiously, without restraint, out loud. You'll feel better almost immediately, you'll see. True, then there will be conversations with neighbors, and not about the weather ... But this is a slightly different story.

Peace of mind is in our hands

Soulful, i.e. inner peace is special condition harmony with oneself, peace. It is achieved by choosing a way of thinking and the ability to look at life problems from different angles.

And finally, most importantly - educate yourself positive thinking and live, rejoicing in each new day. After all, life is priceless - it is your life!

Sometimes it happens that tears come to the eyes at the most inopportune moment - someone offended, Bad mood reached its peak, uninvited memories flooded in ... But it’s not always possible to cry right away and take your soul away - those around you are unlikely to appreciate a public hysteria. How not to cry at the wrong time?

Tears are harder to hide from people than laughter: if a fit of laughter can be disguised as a cough, then the tears flowing down your cheeks will betray you with your head. That's just not always tears in public place appropriate. And if they are connected with the fact that someone offended you, then not crying is a matter of honor, because with tears you will show the offender that he has achieved his goal.

How not to cry if you really want to? The easiest way is unpleasant physical sensations. It is also used for. As soon as you feel like crying, bite your tongue inside lips or cheeks. Or clench your fists so hard that your nails dig into your palm. Just do not overdo it, otherwise you still have to cry - only now from pain, and not from frustration.

But this way not to cry is not always effective. If possible, you need to eliminate the cause of your tears, and if this is not possible, then at least distract from it. For example, if tears are caused by the fact that someone offends you, scolds you, you can try to imagine the offender in a funny way. Remember how in "Harry Potter" one of the students imagined the formidable Professor Snape in his grandmother's clothes? Here is something similar for you to check. The main thing is not to go to the other extreme and not laugh.

If there is no specific reason for tears, they just flooded bad memories or the mood itself is “non-cute” for a combination of reasons, you need to somehow relax and think about something else. The grandfather advised the hero of Krapivin's book "A Lullaby for a Brother": "As it scratches in your throat, remember the green baboon Jimmy." You can follow his advice literally and really imagine the green baboon so as not to cry.

In principle, anything can become your "Baboon Jimmy". Just try to be distracted by things that are fun and funny, or at least neutral. If you, trying to distract yourself from one problem, think of a dozen others, this is unlikely to improve your emotional state.

Well don't forget breathe calmly and deeply, this will additionally help you not to cry. After all, crying is not just tears accompanied by a certain emotional state. Crying is also accompanied by specific facial expressions, contractions of the diaphragm and a change in breathing (long inhalation and stepped exhalation or vice versa), outwardly this is manifested in sobs and sobs. So, even breathing may not help to hold back tears, but it will save you from more obvious manifestations of crying - sobs and sobs.

By the way, smoking helps some, and the point here is not only that smoking in itself has a calming effect. The fact is that, inhaling, the smoker breathes deeper and more evenly. But we will not recommend this method for use. If you do not smoke or smoke very rarely - no need to reach for a cigarette so as not to cry, it is better to use less unhealthy methods.

But do not abuse the tricks to keep from crying. Use them only when it's really important to you not to cry in public. If you are alone, then you should not hold back tears and try not to cry., it is better to throw out all the negativity, not allowing it to accumulate. Anyway, sooner or later you will “break through” at the most inopportune moment, and holding back the tears that have been accumulating for weeks and even months is very, very difficult.

By the way, if in recent times you increasingly want to cry with or without, see a doctor"Eyes in a wet place" may indicate not only psychological problems and stress, but also about problems with the nervous and endocrine systems.