2 weeks of vacation I was looking for an answer to the question: what to do with provocations how not to give in? I asked all my relatives and friends, even on the train.
There were, in fact, few answers, most often that the provocateur was a vampire. What should I do?- There were no tips. Quitting is, of course, the ideal solution. But when the provocateur is your neighbor...
What to do with provocations?
And at night on the train it dawned on me that PROVOCATION IS WAR. Reminds me of the start of World War II. Germany had to attack Poland, there was no reason. Then, on the border of Poland, the German border radio station was allegedly captured by the Poles. In fact, they were SS men dressed in Polish uniforms.
LOVE YOUR PROVOCATOR IF YOU CAN - Tip 5
Love does wonders. In addition, if you try to respond to provocations by fighting, nothing will work, except for a planned war. Only peaceful intentions can help to avoid war with one's neighbor.
"I have provocateurs, I'm not going to love them!" is the first reaction of my first reader. To love is the most difficult advice to put into practice., but to understand the advantages of peace over war is available to everyone.
Provocateurs lie in wait for us when we least expect a dirty trick. It is worth relaxing, and then someone appears who wants to get out of a state of complacency, anger, outrage. Provocateurs manipulate us, and even relatives and friends can belong to their detachment.
Probably, everyone had to be exposed to verbal provocations. A provocateur is able to piss off almost any complacent person.
What do we mean by provocation?
This is an action or words aimed at evoking a certain reaction in him. And, as a rule, these are conscious actions. provocateurs may be among our relatives, friends, work colleagues. It could also be complete strangers. Favourite hobby provocateurs - to provoke others into conflicts in order to themselves then act either as peacekeepers or as victims.
There are many methods of provocation, and those who have mastered them easily manipulate people, seeking from them the desired emotional state and behavioral response. Provocation is used to deprive a person of the ability to reason sensibly, to suppress him morally, to make him nervous, to make excuses, to arouse feelings of guilt, etc.
With the help of provocation, you can find out other people's secrets or necessary information. A simple example: "You are in a hurry to go home, probably your wife and children are waiting for you?". Correct answer: "I'm not married."
accusing loved one in greed, you can provoke him to a gift. a stubborn person with a tendency to do the opposite than he is asked, the provocateur provokes him to the action he needs, asking him to do the exact opposite of what he needs.
In "skillful hands" provocation - great strength allowing you to achieve what you want. However, there are ways to understand that we have a provocateur in front of us, and not to follow his lead.
How not to let yourself be manipulated, or how to deal with provocateurs
There are several principles, adhering to which you can protect yourself from provocations.
1. Examine the weaknesses of your character
Vulnerabilities, or Achilles' heel, everyone has. And people provocateurs sometimes know about our weaknesses better than we do. They are observant and immediately notice what it is that can confuse us, upset or confuse us. They will successfully use their observations as long as we meet their expectations.
As soon as we show that their methods do not work for us, they will not immediately, but give up their attempts. Of course, sometimes manipulative provocateurs do not want to quickly accept defeat and begin to probe new weak spots to still feel superior and be the master of the situation.
However, their attempts can serve us well: with their help, we can better understand ourselves. After analyzing the situation, we should: why did we “break loose”, let ourselves be drawn into the conflict, allowed ourselves to be manipulated.
Provocateurs determine our vulnerabilities, so let's use their "hint" and develop a line of conduct, strengthen our defense, show that they will no longer be able to catch us by surprise.
It is useful to develop the ability to look at what is happening from the outside in anyone: perhaps this will cool our ardor and we will not let ourselves be drawn into the trap of conflict.
2. Realize that we are dealing with a provocation
We all noticed that some people and communicate with them easily and simply. You can always negotiate with them and find mutual language even if the current situation threatens to turn into a conflict. People of another category have the ability to create a conflict out of the blue, and after talking with them, we feel wounded, confused, indignant, offended, etc. If we experience such emotional states almost every time after communicating with such people, then before us provocateurs.
“The one who says:“ Russia is for the Russians ”, you know, it’s hard to resist not giving characteristics to these people - these are either dishonorable people who do not understand what they are saying, and then they are just idiots, or provocateurs,” -.
So, in order to understand that we have a provocateur trying to involve us in, we need pay attention to emotions and their intensity that our interlocutor evokes in us.
3. Determine the type of provocateur
It is possible to determine the purpose of the provocation, to “resist” the provocateur and develop immunity to his methods, if you establish the type to which he belongs: amateur provocateurs, provocateurs strategists or provocateurs - lovers of power.
Type amateur provocateurs familiar to many: they do not tolerate disagreement with their opinion. A different point of view than their own is intolerable for them and causes attacks of aggression towards the interlocutor. They do not know how and do not want to control their emotions and follow their lead. Often, the provocateur himself exposes himself as a victim, falling into hysterics with tears, and thus achieves what he wants, taking advantage of the fact that others want to quickly.
With provocateurs of this type, you need to behave detachedly, mentally putting a protective barrier in front of you. As they say, do not add fuel to the fire and do not let the fire flare up. Our detachment and impenetrability will show that he is wasting his energy in vain.
Provocateurs-strategists often our colleagues at work. They are also found among good, it would seem, acquaintances. Recognizing "strategists" and dealing with them is more difficult than with "amateurs" who provoke openly. "Strategists" most often act behind the back. They spread rumors and gossip, weave intrigues, having definite purpose: defaming someone, expose yourself to best light and achieve promotion at work; quarrel spouses in order to take the place of one of them, etc.
Having found such a person in your environment, you need to try to determine the purpose of his manipulations. It is quite possible that there is no “crime” in them, and his goal will coincide with ours. If not, then it is better to stay away from the provocateur, but not to lose sight of him, so as not to become an object of manipulation yourself.
People provocateurs who love to rule, subjugate and control, also met everyone. And they do it in order to feel own importance. Usually "power-hungry" feel good about who and who cannot: psychologically strong people they do not touch, but they try to control the psychologically weak, which they often succeed in. At the same time, they easily guess vulnerable traits in a person’s character, with the help of which they keep him in subjection.
The only way to avoid getting caught in the net of such a manipulator, who often hides behind the best of intentions, is to maintain a neutral position and not let him get too close.
4. Assess the situation and choose a response
Having identified the provocateur and his type, there is no need to try to understand him, much less justify his actions. Otherwise, we will fall under his "charm" and risk becoming an object. On the contrary, we must develop an appropriate course of action:
- Ask the provocateur directly about what he is trying to achieve (for example, “Do I understand correctly that you are provoking me to…”);
- Calmly express your emotions (“I don’t like that you publicly discuss my mistakes”);
- Use metaphors to indicate a difference in positions or opinions (“I got the impression that we speak different languages”).
Often both interlocutors are provocateurs. In this case, it can only be avoided if one of them consciously makes a concession.
Faced with a provocateur, we must not forget that his goal is to unbalance us. This means that we must remain calm in order not to allow ourselves to be manipulated. Follow the well-known recommendation: count to ten or take a few deep breaths, not so easy in a state of emotional excitement, but necessary. This will “slow down” the psyche, calm thoughts, which means that we will be able to adequately respond to a provocation and deceive the manipulator’s expectations.
Probably, everyone had to be exposed to verbal provocations. A provocateur is able to piss off almost any complacent person.
This is an action or words directed at a person in order to cause a certain reaction in him. And, as a rule, these are conscious actions. provocateurs may be among our relatives, friends, work colleagues. It could also be complete strangers. The favorite occupation of provocateurs is to provoke others into conflicts in order to themselves then act either as peacekeepers or as victims.
There are many methods of provocation, and those who have mastered them easily manipulate people, seeking from them the desired emotional state and behavioral response. Provocation is used to deprive a person of the ability to reason sensibly, to suppress him morally, to make him nervous, to make excuses, to arouse feelings of guilt, etc.
With the help of provocation, you can find out other people's secrets or necessary information. A simple example: "You are in a hurry to go home, probably your wife and children are waiting for you?". Correct answer: "I'm not married."
Accusing a loved one of greed, you can provoke him to a gift. A stubborn person with a tendency to do the opposite than he is asked, the provocateur provokes to the action he needs, asking him to do the exact opposite of what he needs.
In “skillful hands”, provocation is a great force that allows you to manipulate people and achieve what you want. However, there are ways to understand that we have a provocateur in front of us, and not to follow his lead.
How not to let yourself be manipulated, or how to deal with provocateurs
There are several principles, adhering to which you can protect yourself from provocations.
Vulnerabilities, or Achilles heel, everyone has. And people provocateurs sometimes know about our weaknesses better than we do. They are observant and immediately notice what it is that can confuse us, upset or confuse us. They will successfully use their observations as long as we meet their expectations.
As soon as we show that their methods do not work for us, they will not immediately, but give up their attempts. Of course, sometimes manipulative provocateurs do not want to quickly accept defeat and begin to probe for new weaknesses in order to still feel their superiority and be the master of the situation.
However, their attempts can serve us well: with their help, we can better understand ourselves. After analyzing the situation, we must understand ourselves: why we “broke down”, allowed ourselves to be drawn into a conflict, allowed ourselves to be manipulated.
Provocateurs determine our vulnerabilities before us, so let's use their "hint" and develop a line of conduct, strengthen our defense, show that they will no longer be able to take us by surprise.
It is useful to develop the ability to look at what is happening from the outside in any conflict situation: perhaps this will cool our ardor and we will not let ourselves be drawn into the trap of conflict.
We all noticed that some people are conducive to themselves and communicate with them easily and simply. You can always agree with them and find a common language, even if the current situation threatens to turn into a conflict. People of another category have the ability to create a conflict out of the blue, and, having talked with them, we feel wounded, confused, indignant, offended, etc. If we experience such emotional states almost every time after communicating with such people, then before us provocateurs.
“The one who says:“ Russia is for the Russians ”, you know, it’s hard to resist not giving characteristics to these people - they are either dishonorable people who do not understand what they are saying, and then they are just idiots, or provocateurs,” Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin.
So, in order to understand that we have a provocateur trying to draw us into a conflict, we need to pay attention to emotions and their intensity that our interlocutor evokes in us.
It is possible to determine the purpose of the provocation, to “resist” the provocateur and develop immunity to his methods, if you establish the type to which he belongs: amateur provocateurs, provocateurs strategists or provocateurs - lovers of power.
Type amateur provocateurs familiar to many: they do not tolerate disagreement with their opinion. A different point of view than their own is intolerable for them and causes attacks of aggression towards the interlocutor. They do not know how and do not want to control their emotions and follow their lead. Often, the provocateur himself exposes himself as a victim, falling into hysterics with tears, and thus achieves what he wants, taking advantage of the fact that others want to quickly end the conflict.
With provocateurs of this type, you need to behave detachedly, mentally putting a protective barrier in front of you. As they say, do not add fuel to the fire and do not let the fire flare up. Our detachment and impenetrability will show that he is wasting his energy in vain.
Provocateurs-strategists often our colleagues at work. They are also found among good, it would seem, acquaintances. Recognizing "strategists" and dealing with them is more difficult than with "amateurs" who provoke openly. "Strategists" most often act behind the back. They spread rumors and gossip, weave intrigues, having a specific goal: to defame someone, put themselves in a better light and achieve promotion at work; quarrel spouses in order to take the place of one of them, etc.
Having found such a person in your environment, you need to try to determine the purpose of his manipulations. It is quite possible that there is no “crime” in them, and his goal will coincide with ours. If not, then it is better to stay away from the provocateur, but not to lose sight of him, so as not to become an object of manipulation yourself.
People provocateurs who love to rule, subjugate and control, also met everyone. And they do it in order to feel their own importance. Usually, “power-hungry” people have a good sense of who can be manipulated and who cannot: they do not touch psychologically strong people, but they try to control the psychologically weak, which they often succeed in doing. At the same time, they easily guess vulnerable traits in a person’s character, with the help of which they keep him in subjection.
The only way to avoid getting caught in the net of such a manipulator, who often hides behind the best of intentions, is to maintain a neutral position and not let him get too close.
Having identified the provocateur and his type, there is no need to try to understand him, much less justify his actions. Otherwise, we will fall under his "charm" and risk becoming an object of manipulation. On the contrary, we must develop an appropriate course of action:
- Ask the provocateur directly about what he is trying to achieve (for example, “Do I understand correctly that you are provoking me to…”);
- Calmly express your emotions (“I don’t like that you publicly discuss my mistakes”);
- Use metaphors to indicate a difference in positions or opinions (“I got the impression that we speak different languages”).
Often both interlocutors are provocateurs. In this case, conflict can be avoided only if one of them consciously makes a concession.
Faced with a provocateur, we must not forget that his goal is to unbalance us. This means that we must remain calm in order not to allow ourselves to be manipulated. Follow the well-known recommendation: count to ten or take a few deep breaths, not so easy in a state of emotional excitement, but necessary. This will “slow down” the psyche, calm thoughts, which means that we will be able to adequately respond to a provocation and deceive the manipulator’s expectations.
Maxim Vlasov
Provocation is a very effective method psychological influence per person and therefore often used different people to achieve your goals. With its help, you can cause a rash, spontaneous reaction in a person, because of which he will begin to make mistakes. If you have ever encountered outright provocateurs, then you probably remember this experience. And I'm sure you have not the most best experience. And all because provocateurs force people to say and do things that they would never do, being in a calm, balanced state. However, this is precisely the meaning of provocations - to force you to do what the provocateur needs, but you do not need at all. Therefore, it is necessary to be able to recognize provocations, understand them and respond competently to them. We will talk about how to do this in this article.
What is a provocation
First, let's find out what a provocation is. In short, a provocation is a stimulus that is highly likely to cause the desired reaction in the one to whom it is directed. Literally from Latin the word "provocation" is translated as "challenge". And this is really a challenge for the one at whom the provocation is directed. Indeed, in order to competently respond to a provocation, it must first be recognized, and then find the right answer to it. It is very important not to react to a provocation, but to respond to it, that is, to act deliberately. And for this it is necessary to have [and if you do not have, then develop] self-control, so as not to let the emotions caused by provocation overshadow your mind and push you to erroneous actions.
A provocation can also be called a well-thought-out and purposeful irritant that awakens in people certain emotions and feelings and pushing them to rash acts. I repeat, to provoke a person means to induce him to such an action that he would not perform without an external stimulus. The provocateur anticipates the act of his victim, planning to benefit from it, which can be both material and psychological satisfaction. There are other definitions of provocation. But we will consider a provocation precisely as a challenge that you need to be able to adequately respond to.
What are the provocations
Provocations are explicit and implicit. A clear provocation is an open challenge, or you can also say “hit” on someone. For example, on you. You may be insulted, slandered, humiliated, they may doubt your abilities and even try to pit you with someone so that you react in a predictable way to the actions of a provocateur. Most often, the reaction is emotional, stereotyped, predictable. Therefore, it is easy for the provocateur to calculate the actions of the victim and he can only adapt them to his tasks. You may also be provoked positive things- something to seduce, bribe, praise, elevate your virtues above their limit. In this case, you will already do such things on a positive wave or tell such things that you would hardly have done and told in a calm, not excited state.
Thus, no matter what and how you are provoked, if the provocation is obvious, you will see and recognize it. You will immediately understand that a person encourages you to something, wants something from you, therefore he gives you Special attention and perform certain actions against you.
As for implicit provocations, their peculiarity is that they are difficult to recognize and it is impossible to understand their goals. Implicit, hidden provocation is essentially manipulation. You are encouraged to do something, but you do not understand that you are being provoked, you do not see a provocateur in a provocateur, but a provocation in a provocation. This plays into the hands of a provocateur who may not be afraid of opposition from you. For example, a person can tell something about himself that he allegedly does not tell everyone. That is, he shares his secrets with you, trusts you, opens up to you. The question is, for what purpose does he do this? As an option, this is an attempt to talk to you, encourage you to open up in response and give out valuable information about yourself. Or he is trying to gain confidence in you in such a way that he will then persuade you to do something or get something from you. But if you don’t think at all about the reason and meaning of such a heart-to-heart talk, then you won’t even understand that you are being provoked. In other words, implicit provocation is clean water manipulation, with the help of which they may try to extract some information from you or induce you to take some action. Below I will talk in more detail about what methods of provocative influence are. In the meantime, we will look at ways to recognize provocation when it is not obvious.
How to recognize provocation
Sometimes recognizing provocation can be difficult. But this can always be done, there is to be attentive to everything that happens to you and around you. The first thing to look out for is discomfort. The feeling of discomfort always signals some kind of danger. Usually it is uncomfortable with provocateurs, even if you do not yet understand that it is the provocateur who provokes you in front of you. Such a person can annoy you, he can make you feel disgusted and you want to move away from him. This happens because a provocateur gets into your head and soul without your consent, he tries to break into your psychological protection and bypass your rational caution. Therefore, if you are not comfortable with some person, this is a reason to ask yourself: why do you need him to communicate with him? And even more important question put before yourself: why does he need you to communicate with you, pay attention to you and do something for you? These questions will be the beginning for you to recognize the provocation.
It is true that it also happens when you feel very good, free and easy with a provocateur. This happens when you are provoked through positive thoughts and feelings. For example, they can praise you very much, admire you, so that you, succumbing to emotions, do something for the provocateur as a token of gratitude, tell him something, give something away, and so on. Or you may be offered some benefit, or interesting idea which will delight you. And then you yourself will do what the provocateur expects. It is important here to keep your head sober, remembering that people never do anything just like that. They do not tend to do good to others without special need. Therefore, you need to find out what is their need for doing well for you? So I suggest you think about it in a situation where you will feel very good with some person, especially with a stranger.
Questions are main tool thinking and searching necessary information. With their help, you can not only recognize a provocation, but also correctly reflect it. If you are asked such questions that force you to disclose information that is undesirable for disclosure, you are likely to be provoked. Conversely, you yourself must be able to ask and ask questions that will allow you to understand the reasons for what is happening to you and in terms of the behavior of other people. Ask people what they want so you can get a rough idea of what they want. Do not be afraid to appear suspicious and cautious - God saves the safe. Try to ask questions more often, rather than answering them, communicating with other people in order to control the situation and show provocateurs that you are a tough nut to crack.
And the last thing I advise you to do is to calculate your actions. If a provocation is difficult to recognize, it can be found. To do this, you need to calculate the cause-and-effect relationships in order to understand whether it is profitable for you to do something or not. If it is not profitable, then it is likely that the one who encourages you to these actions is a provocateur and a manipulator. So by engaging your thinking and calculating the situation a few steps ahead, you can avoid unnecessary mistakes. This is not easy to do, I understand, because the future is not predetermined and any forecasts may turn out to be erroneous. But it is better than simply reacting to the words and actions of other people without thinking about the consequences of their actions.
In general, we can attribute many actions and words of people to provocations. For much in our interaction with each other can be called a stimulus and even a challenge. And many of the stimuli we encounter force us to act in ways that are not comfortable for us. Therefore, it is important to pay attention first of all to deliberate, targeted provocations, and only then look for a catch in what seems to be completely normal and natural. A provocation is all those actions and words of people that can cause you some kind of damage. This damage must be assessed before you incur it. With obvious, obvious provocations, this is easier to do. Remember that provocation is an instrument of struggle, enmity, rivalry, competition. Therefore, in some cases, provocation can be recognized by the clearly hostile intention of other people towards you. That is, when someone wants to take something away from you, get something from you, get around you in something, outplay you - look for elements of provocation in the behavior of this person.
Methods of provocation
Now let's talk about what are the methods of provocation in order to better understand the principle of their work.
1. Take the victim on the weak. This is a fairly common method of provocation because it is very easy to perform. Even kids use it. All that needs to be done to provoke a person with this technique is to doubt his abilities, his honesty and other qualities. A person will want to prove that he is not a weakling, not a coward, not a lazy person, not a fool, not greedy, not poor, not a deceiver, not a traitor, not a thief, not a murderer, and so on. And when a person does this - to prove, explain, justify - he will tell a lot of superfluous things and do a lot of things that are not necessary for himself. If this provocation is not obvious to the one against whom it is directed, then it becomes many times more effective. But even if people understand that they are being provoked in this way, they can still go along with the provocateur in order to show themselves to him or other people from the good side.
2. Raise a person. This is also very good way provocations. Seeing in a person who he is not [but who he would like to be], admiring this and highlighting it in every possible way, you can arouse in him a desire and desire to correspond to this image. Here it is enough for the victim of a provocation to simply agree with the opinion of the provocateur that he, the victim, is smart, courageous, generous, practical, responsible, modern, in order to fall into a trap. Since you are the way you want to see yourself and how other people see you, conform to this image and act as you should act.
3. Conflict. Conflict provocation is the most common and obvious form of provocation. Unlike manipulative provocations, this way of inducing people to take certain actions can often be recognized without much difficulty, but it is very difficult for many people to refrain from succumbing to this provocation. It's all about strong emotions- resentment, anger, hatred, fear, which are difficult for people to cope with. That is why the “divide and conquer” technique is relevant at all times. As life shows, it is not difficult to provoke a conflict between people by pitting them against each other. It is only necessary to evoke in people certain emotional condition and related behavioral response. If you anger a person well, offend or scare, then he will behave in a predictable way. And if this behavior is called in right time in right place, then some benefit can be derived from it. The point is to force an agitated person to make a mistake.
4. Temptation. A person can be provoked to rash actions and deeds by seducing him with something. Money, sex, status are some of the most commonly used lures to seduce people. For example, a lot of money or lack of it can provoke a person to commit a crime. Beautiful woman can provoke a man to cheat, and an overly persistent and cunning man, with the help of fairy tales about love, can provoke a woman to leave the family. The desire to improve one's status in society can provoke a person to betray loved ones. And the consequences of such actions can be very different, depending on who and for what purpose seduces a person.
5. Shame, guilt. You can make a person feel guilty and ashamed and thus provoke him to actions with which he will try to make amends to someone and correct his mistakes. This is a manipulative provocation, that is, as a rule, it has hidden intentions. However, sometimes a provocateur can openly demand compensation from his victim for damages, without hiding the fact that this whole situation plays into his hands.
6. Not tactful [provocative] questions. It's pretty effective method provocations. It is often used by lawyers in court and controversial journalists. A question not tactfully posed can prompt a person to tell the truth or make a mistake that will cost him dearly. After all, wanting to refute unreliable information, sometimes frankly false and cynical, a person gives out reliable information. Or his emotional state will become so unstable due to surging feelings that he will stop behaving rationally, will start to get nervous, worry, and will definitely make some kind of mistake. For example, a person can be asked about how long ago he stopped using alcohol or drugs, which implies that he once did this at all, they want in fact it may not be so. And if a person is inattentive to the question and begins to thoughtlessly answer it, with his answer he can confirm the fact of using alcohol or drugs, saying that he has not used them for a long time. That is, one mispronounced word can make him former alcoholic and a drug addict. Or he might experience negative emotions because of such a question and begin to show aggression towards the one who asked him it. And this will put a person in a bad light and people may think badly about him, including the fact that he is really a former drug addict with an unbalanced psyche.
7. Joy. What people don't do for joy. When a person is overwhelmed with emotions, he begins to behave primitively, making the most straightforward decisions. It is easiest for happy people to sell something. When people experience a storm positive emotions They don't really count money. The main thing is to awaken these emotions in people. This can be done in many ways. For example, look at how well various sales provoke people to make purchases, including unnecessary ones.
8. Deliberate delusion. This is a more subtle method of provocation, manipulative, with many variations. Its meaning is to intentionally be mistaken in something, to demonstrate one's delusion the right people and thus encourage them to correct you or completely refute you. This allows you to get them to do some work [work on proving you are wrong] or to get something from them valuable information and generally allows you to attract the attention of these people. Thus, people will spend certain resources, succumbing to such a provocation and reveal the necessary information.
For example, I may not know the address of the person I need and do not want to ask anyone about it, so as not to arouse suspicion because of my curiosity. But I can deliberately give his erroneous address in the presence of people who, in my opinion, know him, so that they correct me and give me the necessary information. Or you can present such absurd information on any topic that it will greatly outrage many people and they will want to refute it, citing the information necessary for the provocateur as evidence of its fallacy. So, in particular, you can find out from what sources they draw information and what knowledge they have in a particular area. In some activities, such information about the source of information is of great value.
Social engineers often use this method of provocation to extract information from their victims. For example, they can call the owner bank card, introduce yourself as a bank employee and clarify the information they need on the card. But they will not just ask him about it, this can arouse suspicion, but they will give out partially correct information and partially incorrect information, referring to the fact that they lost the rest of the data due to, say, a computer failure. A person, not wanting to have problems with the card and the bank, and seeing that it is already partially known about him, will give the missing information to the scammers, after which money will be stolen from his card. This method of provocation has many forms and uses. The desire of people to point out other people's mistakes, delusions, lies, and at the same time to emphasize their awareness, is often used to their advantage by competent provocateurs.
9. Threat. Threats, both real and imaginary, are also a fairly common method of provocation. This is a more open and obvious provocation. The calculation is made on the expected reaction of a person to a threat addressed to him. A person in such cases can be very predictable. He may become frightened and give up his ambitions, he may make concessions, he may hide, run away, retreat, or he may show aggression in response. All these types of reactions may well turn out to be erroneous, inappropriate, ill-conceived and inaccurate, especially in cases where there is nothing behind the provocateur's threats. The result required by the provocateur will be achieved if the victim believes in the reality of his threats and is frightened of them.
10. Scandal. Dirty, but very effective and common method of provocation. Scandals are a great way to focus people's attention on some issue that they would never have paid attention to without the scandal. The main task of the scandal is to attract attention and, if possible, keep it as long as possible. In the process of a scandal, certain points of view on a particular issue are imposed on people, which they begin to perceive as personal opinion and on the basis of this opinion, people subsequently make decisions, perform probabilistically predetermined actions, for the sake of which a provocation is started. With the help of a good scandal, you can divert people's attention from the problems that are really important to them and direct their discontent in the direction the provocateur needs. Most people are interested in a scandal because they cultural environment replete with all sorts of scandals. Many people in conflict situations slide into a scandal, because they are not trained in a different way to resolve these situations. Therefore, this is an attractive incentive for them. On television, this method of provocation is very popular. different kind talk shows, where there are always some scandals, attract the attention of many people.
How to respond to provocations
To protect yourself from provocations, you need to respond competently to them. A competent reaction is not emotional reaction, but a thoughtful answer. And the first thing that can be done in response to a provocation is nothing. You just need to ignore it. Try not to contact provocateurs so as not to be influenced by them, and if they themselves persistently attack you, then simply do not notice them. A provocateur always counts on a certain reaction from you, he expects you to answer him. If this reaction is not followed, his efforts will be in vain. So the best answer is no answer at all. If you are not able to control yourself well enough to resist provocations, you need to work on yourself, on your own or with the help of a specialist.
In some situations, it is not possible to ignore the provocation. Even if you have strong nerves and a stable psyche, you still have to answer it. The fact is that others may consider you a weakling if you do not give a decent answer to the provocateur. For example, in prison, it is impossible not to react to some provocations, this is fraught with negative consequences. So you have to answer. But not the way the provocateur wants it, the way he plans for you to answer, but in a different way. You cannot react predictably, otherwise you will lose. Retaliate by provoking, remembering that in some cases the best defense is an attack. Provoke the provocateur so that not you, but he performs the first action. Since the conflict is still unavoidable, then at least win this confrontation. This will be a plus for you in the eyes of others.
Another good way to protect against provocations is unpredictability. Be unpredictable so that provocateurs cannot miscalculate you. If you act unpredictably, inconsistently, illogically for the provocateur, this can at least make him nervous, and at the most, give up his hostile intentions towards you. A provocateur wants to evoke a predictable reaction in you with his provocation, so you need to deprive him of this trump card with his unpredictability.
And most importantly - do not be afraid of provocations. Fear makes you immune to them. Better work out various options their responses to certain provocations in order to prepare themselves for them. Provocations are one way to manipulate you. But provocation is not always manipulation. Often this is undisguised aggression. You are being challenged by provoking you. Don't be afraid of him. There is still no hiding from provocations and related conflicts, since they are everywhere. Therefore, it is necessary to answer them, not to react, namely, to answer, deliberately and calmly.
