How to be responsible for your life. How to show maturity in a relationship

Summing up the end of October, I regret to admit that I did not have enough responsibility. Unfortunately, I did not find a manual for the development of this quality for adults on the Internet. So I had to write the manual myself.

Hope it helps you too.

First, let's understand what is responsibility? The dictionary gives the following interpretation: "a subjective obligation to be responsible for actions and actions, as well as their consequences." In yoga, where one of the values ​​is awareness of life, I was told that the word "responsibility" comes from the root "Vedas" and means " I know what I'm doing ". It sounds nice, but linguists say that the root is veteo (advice), which goes to βουλή, which means will in ancient Greek. That's just the will - this is the ability to consciously manage your life. So the yoga instructor was close to the truth.

Learn to admit your mistakes. This is probably the most difficult. At that moment, when you are praised or thanked, it is pleasant for each of us. Only when we hear criticism or censure, we behave in a completely different way. It is very difficult not to become defensive, trying to make the other person to blame. But it’s much more correct to say “I’m sorry” and describe what exactly you repent of. This is where you develop an understanding of actions.

It's even harder to apologize if you've been caught lying. After all, then it will be necessary to tell the truth, and not just offer ways to resolve the situation.

Draw lines of responsibility. Obviously, you cannot be responsible for everyone and everything. Therefore, it is regularly worth thinking about, but where is the border? We are each responsible for ourselves first and foremost. Therefore, in this example, let's try to draw boundaries.
Let's try to answer the questions:

  • Who is responsible for my thoughts, actions, words? Definitely myself.
  • Who is responsible for my health? If he treats him irresponsibly for a long time, then the moment will come when the doctor will answer. And while I.
  • Who is responsible for my reputation? Me and my loved ones.
  • Who is responsible for my comfort? Married man The answer is my wife.
  • And so on.

It's not just about yourself that you should draw boundaries. In doing so, remember: “a lot of things are not in the zone of our influence, which means we cannot be responsible for them” . You cannot take responsibility for the consequences of an earthquake - you are not the Lord God. You are only responsible for how you spend the $10 - donate it or buy a new book.

Formulate rules and stick to them. Making decisions is always difficult. And often for a long time. That is why people came up with rules, laws, morality. But we are all different, some can do more, some less. Therefore, following other people's rules is not always true. Moreover, other people's rules often conflict not only with our idea of ​​what is right, but also with each other.

In conclusion, to paraphrase the words of Antoine de Saint-Exupery: We are responsible for what we have done».

Surely every person at least once in his life was told: "In this matter, you need to show responsibility." And everyone understands what is at stake at this moment and what is meant. Few understand the concept. Although its meaning, like the topic itself, is very interesting. Therefore, it is necessary to talk in more detail about what it means to be a responsible person.

Definition

This term is explained in different ways. But there are few differences in definitions. It is generally accepted that responsibility is the subjective obligation of a person to be responsible for his actions and their consequences. If we follow another statement, then this term denotes special treatment personality to their actions. And it characterizes her as a rational, conscious, intellectually developed person.

Such a Personality is responsible for choosing his actions, taking the initiative and bringing this or that matter to the end. And if we talk about what it means to be a responsible person, then we can say with confidence: it means showing oneself as an independent, diligent and reliable member of society. Often people with this quality are perceived as honest, persistent, diligent and accurate. And this is justified, as they deserve such a reputation.

How to recognize such a person?

Examples of responsible people surround us. Surely in the circle of every person there are people who deserve to be called such. And they are very easy to recognize.

They take responsibility. They don’t run away from it, they don’t pass it on to others. If such a person does something, then he approaches the task with seriousness in order to ensure a quality result.

He doesn't need excuses. He will not look for the guilty and despair in an unsuccessful situation. This person will simply start looking for ways to solve problems. He will endure almost any mistake, correct the failure and will continue to try to prevent such oversights.

A responsible person always keeps deadlines. He will never let you down. Because he knows: the value of each task depends on its timely completion. It is important for him to trust that they have for him, and the hopes that others have placed on him. Therefore, he is always punctual and completes assignments within the allotted time.

Personal characteristic

Some of the qualities of a responsible person have already been listed above. It is worth noting a few more.

So, responsible people, no matter how “hackneyed” it may sound, they are the masters of their lives. They always remain confident and cheerful. These two qualities are the basis for moving forward. And they do not wait for instructions and tests. These people immediately do quality work, often managing to help colleagues (when it comes to work).

Yet the responsible person knows how to control his feelings and manage them. Nothing can interfere with their work. And such appropriate composure is one of the key qualities. If many people can meet the deadlines with due desire, then not all of them can hold back a storm of emotions.

How to learn to be responsible? You need to get used to making plans and sticking to them. A responsible person clearly knows what, how, when and for whom he must do. And to save valuable time, he calculates everything to the smallest detail.

This person also often interacts with others, helping to reveal their potential. It is subject to him to stimulate others to work. And, in the end, all this he does not for the sake of praise. It also has a place to be, of course, but the most important thing is the result and the quality of the work done.

Psychological aspect

There is much more to be said about what it means to be a responsible person. In general, a person's awareness of this quality is determined by many factors. Cognitive, characterological, situational, motivational. All this has to do with internal mechanism control. After all, in the first place, the subject is responsible to himself for his actions.

But instances are also important. Mostly stimulating. Take, for example, the workplace. A person was given a month to complete a particular task. Of course, he will feel good if he manages it in two weeks and passes earlier. But in specific situation more important role plays the reaction of the authorities to such efficiency. High diligence and manifestation of responsibility of the employee will show him in best light and will allow him to earn respect, trust and authority.

Psychological factors are also important. They are about being able to make a choice. That is, consciously prefer one or another line of behavior. Often the problem of choice appears in a dispute. And a person has to choose “to be or not to be” (to defend his position and bear the responsibility for it), or “to be or seem” (which means disclaimer of responsibility).

Referring to the catchphrase

Each of us at least once heard such a phrase: "We are responsible for those we have tamed." Its author is the French essayist and writer of the 20th century Antoine de Saint-Exupery. And she meets in a fairy tale for adults called " The little Prince". Now it is most often used in relation to our smaller brothers, which can be understood - animals need the care and protection of people (often from other representatives of humanity, who are distinguished by cruelty), since they are able to provide it to them.

But Antoine de Saint-Exupery put a different meaning into the phrase “We are responsible for those we have tamed”. The writer himself, as a person, presented the most high requirements to himself. This is important to mention. And the expression means that all the people around us (relatives, friends, loved ones) are tamed by us. They trust us, love, appreciate, hope for reciprocity. And those for whom these people have such a feeling should not allow betrayal towards them. Or that they experience grief, experience, pain. The bottom line is that we are responsible for the happiness of our loved ones. Like they are for ours.

About actions

The actions of a responsible person always cause respect. And sometimes even admiration. Responsibility is manifested in the willingness to take the initiative and do what needs to be done. Let's say a husband and wife have long wanted to go abroad on vacation and have even set approximate departure dates. But some additional responsibilities at work, and there is a need to stay there overtime. The husband decides to take charge of the vacation, buying airline tickets, planning a trip, booking a hotel, arranging a visa, and more. This is a commendable act.

Principle

Every responsible person also adheres to such a motto: "everything that I did, I did." Logically. The bottom line is that a responsible person is always ready to answer for his actions. Surrounding people, circumstances are just a background for her decisions. Such a person will never find "guilty" in trying to justify his failure. And, by the way, his second principle is this: "everything that I did not do is my fault, inaction is also an act."

Quality structure

It is also worth noting attention, talking about what it means to "be a responsible person." The structure of this quality includes a person's awareness of his public role and social value. As well as accepting the need to act in accordance with generally accepted requirements as a fact. The structure also includes a willingness to control and be responsible for one's actions or inaction, to take into account the consequences and foresee them in the future, to be accountable to oneself and give self-esteem.

There is much more to be said about this quality. But in the end, I would like to note that the presence of responsibility paints a person like nothing else.

Psychology 0

Good day, dear guests of the blog! The world is arranged in such a way that we cannot constantly carelessly race in a convertible and enjoy. To develop a person requires such a quality as responsibility.

For example, if you do not feed your turtle in time, it will get sick and die, the same can be said about a person. Today I will tell you how to become a responsible person.

What does responsibility mean?

For myself:

  • you are responsible for your personal development and level of professionalism;
  • you set yourself the goals and objectives that you need to succeed;
  • for deeds, thoughts, words that should be worthy;
  • for the state of health, both physical and.

In all my life:

  • each person is responsible for his personal success and happiness;
  • caring for loved ones, their happiness and well-being;
  • problem solving and overcoming difficulties.

This quality is inherent in adults and self-sufficient people. Without it, it is impossible to build a career, organize life and excellent relationships with people.

What is the secret of this quality?

When a person willingly takes responsibility for doing important things, he successfully moves forward. career ladder. To be a leader or leader, for example, of a large company, a person must have just such a quality.

When a person has few obligations, his significance falls, opportunities and prospects are lost. This quality is avoided by cowards and weaklings, as a result they achieve nothing and remain on the sidelines.

Courageous individuals tend to take responsibility. They never hide and do not succumb to difficulties, but do exactly the opposite - they use all the opportunities that.

Even the most talented and smart people can't achieve anything without it important quality. They usually have bad reputation and lost the trust of others. Usually such individuals communicate with their own kind, and no one is interested in successful strong people.

How to become responsible?

To get started, answer next questions:

  • Do you keep your promises to other people?
  • Do others appreciate you, do they need your help and support?
  • Do you set long-term goals for the future?
  • Are you investing in your personal growth?
  • Do you take care of yourself and your loved ones in terms of health, appearance?

If you answered at least one of the above questions in the negative, then you have something to work on so that in the future people will talk about you: this is a very responsible and reliable person, you can always rely on him.

When a person completes a task on time and correctly, he receives a reward for this. Otherwise, punishment is inevitable: they are waiting for him, distrust, dismissal, etc.

The most serious punishment of a person for irresponsibility in life, which is given to him not by people, but by higher powers, is madness and insanity.

Develop responsibility- means to develop willpower, patience, punctuality, organization, discipline. It is not always easy and sometimes you need to visit a psychologist, go to special trainings, but after that you will be surprised how the attitude of the people around you will change.

So what to do:

  • take care of your professional development: read books on psychology, attend trainings, go to courses;
  • train: take on simple tasks and always complete them on time, without violating deadlines. Write down in your diary what you need to do, set reminders. After completing the easy tasks, take on the difficult ones. You must be sure that you can handle the task you have taken on;
  • work regularly to achieve life goals;
  • start mastering yourself and controlling all your desires. The ability to control your emotions is a sure sign that you are responsible for yourself;
  • responsibility implies: the correct analysis, that is, to take up this or that business or not, the acceptance of obligations, a promise, oral or written. All these criteria are links of one cohesive mechanism, and they must function without failures.

Thus, responsibility is a skill that a person can develop if he puts in the effort. Evaluate yourself how this quality is developed in you and whether you have it at all. Even in the absence of it, with a great desire, you can change everything and become a different person - better than yesterday.

Ask your loved ones what they think about this. Their answers will certainly be useful to you and will know what you need to work on. It will not be possible to become a successful person right away, but if you develop this skill in yourself, you will have more opportunities and prospects for this, people will appreciate and trust you.

Everything in life is very smooth for a responsible person: he does not live in an eternal rush, he manages to come to work, relax, meet friends on time, he finds time for his favorite hobby ... the question arises, when can all this be done?

The answer is actually simple, you just need to have a daily routine. See how ancient science Ayurveda recommends doing things during the day in order to do everything, my article is about this.

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Of course, we are more willing to communicate with responsible people. After all, an adult child is not the person you can rely on and not even the one you can trust. Sometimes, it becomes a real problem. And if we talk about career growth, then the one who can be called irresponsible almost no chance. Want to radically change your life? It's time to learn to be responsible. It is to learn, because this is not a quality with which we are born, but something that we must cultivate in ourselves.

How to learn to be responsible?

Learn to plan your time. Noticed that some people manage to do everything in working time, others fail, often fail, even if you take work home. The first step to becoming responsible is to decide to plan your day and follow that plan. Of course it happens every day non-standard situations, but you know, responsible people plan time for them too.


Don't make promises. If you want to become responsible, learn before promising something, evaluate your capabilities, and think about whether you need it. They gave the word - do not look for excuses for yourself, fulfill the promise. Didn't plan your time? Well, you'll have to do that. what they talked about to their detriment. This, by the way, will make you think next time.

Train your memory and attention. Choose the method that suits you or just get started more attention pay attention to the little things. It's really not easy, but it's worth it. So, noticing more and remembering more, you don’t have to puzzle over whether I did something and come back to check. Become a responsible person, this includes not wasting time in vain.

Write down important things and meetings so you don't forget them. Use a notepad or get an organizer. The main thing is that all your plans should be contained in one place, this, by the way, makes it very easy to plan for the day, week, etc. And by compiling it daily, you can develop a sense of responsibility. And most importantly, nothing will fall out of your attention.


Take on any organizational work. The more you practice, the better you get. At the same time, this great way learn to do everything consistently and be on time, which means become a responsible person. So, without hesitation, take on the organization of a trip, birthday, corporate party, etc.

Don't stop, no matter how hard it gets. A sense of responsibility should make you do, act, look for solutions. Even if it seems that there is no way out, go ahead, try to the last. You will see that in most cases the task is quite feasible. And the longer you follow this rule, the better and more often you will succeed.

Don't look for excuses. No if this, yes if this. A person manages his own life and everything that happens in it depends only on him. Don't forget it, follow this life position. Learning to be responsible is, first of all, taking responsibility for your life.


Don't think that you are hopeless. change, including become a responsible person, you can always. It does not depend on age or temperament. Only from your decision. Of course, just doing nothing is much easier. But, are you ready to try on what awaits you in this case.

Finally, get support. For example, support loved one Or someone who has the same problem. After all, what is not easy for one is easier to cope with together. By the way, to experience any situation is still easier with those who are familiar with it. After all, this person understands you, understands how difficult it is for you. Moreover, he can give useful advice about what helped become responsible him personally.

Responsibility for oneself and one's destiny is essential principles thinking and the quality of a strong successful person. Its essence is “It is said and done”. Responsibility is the basis for achieving any goal, the basis for building any normal relationships and contracts.

Taking responsibility for oneself and one's destiny is an indicator of a person's maturation, this is the beginning of his conscious life, the ability to give a word and keep it, fulfilling the obligations assumed.

What is Self Responsibility?

Self-responsibility is:

  1. First of all, responsibility for one's development, personal growth (formation of personal qualities, getting rid of problems and shortcomings) and professional education.
  2. Search, Staging and Achievement. Aimlessness is the first indicator of irresponsibility.
  3. Responsibility for one's manifestations, behavior, words, etc., so that all manifestations are worthy.
  4. Responsibility for your physical body and for health.

Responsibility for one's own destiny is:

  1. Responsibility for achieving your life Goals, for achieving success and happiness.
  2. Responsibility for the happiness, well-being and safety of all those who are dear to you (this is also part of the responsibility for your own destiny).
  3. Responsibility for creating the necessary situations according to fate, for eliminating problems that arise in life and helping loved ones (who are within your responsibility).

The value of the quality “Responsibility”. What is her strength?

The ability to take responsibility and fulfill it is one of the main decision-making criteria when moving a person up in a career. This is always the basis of leadership and the growth of a leader, as well as the basis of personal growth: the sphere of responsibility of a person grows and expands - the person himself grows as a person and as a leader, his sphere of influence, his power, his importance in society, and his capabilities.

How less people takes responsibility, the less he fulfills obligations, the less his significance, opportunities, real strength, etc., the less he can in life.

Cowardly and weak are afraid of responsibility and achieve nothing, often remaining failures all their lives.

Strong and courageous, or those who want to become so - take responsibility, do not run away from it and do not hide, but do exactly the opposite - use opportunities and take responsibility, expand their capabilities, thereby increasing their influence on situations, on your life and the lives of others.

As a principle and quality of success, it unites all the components “I want-can-do”. Even the super talented and clever man, if he does not have the quality of “responsibility”, most often, he achieves nothing in life, loses the trust and support of people, and loses faith in himself due to the fact that he does not fulfill his promises and obligations, dropping his face and reputation. Such people, if they do not reveal the quality of “responsibility”, become uninteresting losers to anyone.

How is responsibility implemented?

The ability to make appropriate commitments – to oneself and to others, and the best way fulfill the word given to yourself and others.

Can you make a promise to yourself because it's really important to you and do it exactly?

  1. Do you keep promises to other people?
  2. How much are you reliable person? Reliable for yourself and from the point of view of other people?
  3. Do you have long term life goals?
  4. Do you regularly invest in your personal and professional growth?
  5. Do you strive to take care of yourself, your health and those close to you?

Answering yes to these questions confirms that you are a responsible person! If the answers are “No”, you have something to work on.

This creates the basis for self-respect and respect for other people, for their recognition and trust. “Yes, this is a reliable person, you can trust him, if he promises, he does it”.

But responsibility always comes with certain consequences. and even punishment. If a person took responsibility and did everything right, he receives rewards, prizes according to fate in the form of certain benefits and opportunities. If a person took responsibility, but realized it poorly, or did not fulfill his obligations at all, the punishment for irresponsibility follows, as a rule, immediately or almost immediately (dismissal, loss, destruction of relationships, loss of trust on the part of people, monetary losses, etc.). .).

One of the serious karmic punishments for not taking responsibility for oneself and one's destiny is confusion and even insanity.

How to become a responsible person?

1. Get busy first personal growth– start attending trainings, courses and webinars on personal development, read books famous people and trainers (Brian Tracy, others). Continually invest in your personal growth.

2. Train your responsibility! Train on yourself and on others: make simple commitments and try to fulfill them on time and accurately, start respecting yourself for it. To make it easier - write down your promises to yourself, and promises made to other people in workbook. Record any commitments you have made. Then, move on to more significant and serious matters and obligations.

The bottom line is that you must be confident in yourself that if you give your word, then you will certainly keep it.

3. Constantly work with your life goals. How to work with your goals -.

4. Learn to control yourself and manage all your manifestations. Self-control and Self-control is a direct indicator of your responsibility for yourself, in what state you live. You don't care about yourself, or you always try to be "okay".

5. Responsibility involves - calculation (to take on this or that matter or not), taking obligations (responsibility for the cause, achieving the goal, etc.), agreement ( given word- orally or on paper) and fulfillment of obligations (search for solutions, impeccability, timeliness, etc.). All these components should work without failures.