Self-sufficiency by the most in simple words is when your own society is enough for you to be happy.

You are not afraid of loneliness, you can decide life tasks yourself, because you have the necessary skills for this. It implies strength and confidence in oneself, in one's life position the ability to make decisions. A kind of man-island, which lets you in only on excursions.

I consider the words of Oscar Wilde to be the motto of self-sufficiency:

❝You will continue to be unhappy as long as you believe that others make you happy❞.

Without which there is no self-sufficiency:

• without a profession that would bring material income and satisfaction.
• without passion or hobby: such a person does not think what to do with himself and what to do free time.
• without certain qualities, innate or acquired: you may have to.

Qualities that distinguish a self-sufficient person:

• Tolerance of loneliness (or lack of fear of loneliness). There are people who just can't be alone. Are you one of those people?
• Inner strength. Being completely responsible for yourself, your actions, decisions, choices and your life in general is not easy.
• Self confidence. Without the confidence that you can achieve everything without outside help, you are unlikely to succeed.
• Purposefulness. "Island Man", as a rule, successful person who sets goals and knows how to achieve them.
• Selfishness. You think first of all about your happiness and your tasks in life.
• Alienation. You will have to learn to keep at a distance those who want to stay in your life.

Thus, in order to become self-sufficient, you need to develop the appropriate qualities in yourself (or already have them), identify a goal in life and master a profession that would bring enough money so as not to depend on others financially (ideally, your hobby and profession should coincide) .

It would seem that everything is simple. But I want to warn you that such independence implies, first of all, loneliness, remoteness from other people (but not isolation!). Therefore, we can talk about it only at a certain period of life. Self-sufficiency and family are incompatible.

I believe that self-sufficiency is mainly the prerogative of men. A woman, on the other hand, will always need love, support, children, she will be dependent, as she strives to merge.

And the man-island appreciates, above all, freedom and independence. He does not look back at authorities, does not care about other people's opinions, does not seek help, does not grieve about the past and does not relish committed mistakes, does not condemn himself for them.

Here is what Stephen Covey writes about independence in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People:

Independence is expressed by the self-paradigm - I can do it; I am responsible; I rely on myself; I can choose.

If I am physically independent, then I can do everything perfectly by myself. If in the intellectual - I can think independently, I am subject to different levels abstract thinking. I can think creatively and analytically, as well as formulate and express my thoughts in an understandable way. If I am independent emotionally, then all my statements and actions are generated by my internal foundations. I am in control of my own actions. My sense of dignity does not depend on whether others treat me well or badly.

True independence of character urges us to act, not to be influenced. It frees us from our dependence on circumstances and other people and is a worthy, liberating goal. However, independence is not ultimate goal efficient life.

Interdependence is a much more mature, more progressive concept. If I am physically interdependent, then while I am confident and efficient, I understand that you and I, working together, can do much more than me alone, even if I try very hard. If I am interdependent emotionally, then even though I have a feeling dignity I still need to give and love others as well as to be loved. If I am intellectually interdependent, I am aware that in order to enrich my thoughts, I need to borrow the best that others have.

How to become a self-sufficient person?

First, decide if you need it. To do this, I propose to pass two tests.

Spend the day alone. Do not communicate with friends or relatives, turn off the TV.

Spend the whole day alone with yourself, with your thoughts. And if you are bored, you will not find something to do, then self-sufficiency is not for you.

An independent person, as a rule, is passionate about something, he has a goal and his own interests, which do not allow him to suffer from boredom and look for someone to kill time with.

Stay alone with yourself, in silence, and imagine that you need to leave for a few years to study or work in another country.

Completely immerse yourself in this situation, let it be a kind of meditation: mentally transport yourself to any country. Imagine in detail how you arrive at a new place, rent a hotel room, look for a job, communicate with new people, make choices and decide on a new job, rent an apartment.

You need to make new connections, you have nowhere to wait for help - you have to do everything yourself, make many independent decisions.

If that doesn't scare you at the thought of leaving your present life and the environment, if you have a burning desire to start everything yourself, then you will succeed.

Looking back, I determined what I needed. Make a list for yourself as well.

My blog was written to help those who want to become a self-sufficient person, which is what I am. Check out this article, maybe you will find something useful for yourself.

A self-sufficient person is an independent person who does not need public opinion and outside advice. He knows what he needs from life and how to achieve it using his strengths. In fact, this is a negative version of independence, characterized by an aggressive attitude towards the help of others. But in his positive value this quality brings the life of the individual to new level helping you achieve your goals.

What kind of person is self-sufficient?

A self-sufficient person does not need society and is not afraid of loneliness. He always knows what to do with himself, and completely manages his life. For clarity, such a person can be compared with an expensive island resort, which is very difficult to get to. There are no outsiders in his environment, only the most important people that don't pull down.

This way of life alienates people. But do not confuse isolation and self-sufficiency, these are different concepts.

To become a self-sufficient person, you need to "open the universe within yourself" . Unlike posturing, getting to know your inner world allows you to open new ways for development and self-improvement.

It is difficult to unequivocally answer whether it is good or bad to be independent of others. For most people, this change in lifestyle is a huge stress. The layman will call such a person lonely and even a little secretive. But after the process of transformation, the transformed personality ceases to care about judgments from the outside. She is interested in much more important things.

How to become a beautiful and well-groomed girl

The main components of the concept

On the way to becoming a holistic or self-sufficient personality, it is important to identify its components. There are three types, differing in the degree of difficulty of achievement:

• Housekeeping - housekeeping. For example, a man who is dependent on his wife or mother, who is not able to cook breakfast on his own, is not self-sufficient in this.
• Psychological - independence from the environment. For example, a girl who is not self-sufficient in this respect cannot imagine life without daily communication with mom or friends.
• Social - career, success, recognition, financial well-being.

It follows from this that self-sufficiency includes: the presence of a worthy profession that brings not only material well-being but also moral satisfaction; hobbies, hobbies, any activities that you can always occupy yourself with in your spare time.

Character traits of a self-sufficient personality:

• Inner strength and willingness to take responsibility for your life.
• Tolerance for loneliness.
• Purposefulness. Well-defined priorities.
• Selfishness.
• Confidence in yourself and your abilities.
• The ability to get close to people while maintaining a distance.

Self-sufficient woman

Positive and negative manifestations

It is important to distinguish between positive and negative manifestations of self-sufficiency. If a person is comfortable alone with himself, he knows how to make decisions and take responsibility on his own, but he is happy to meet friends and, after listening to someone else’s opinion, can do own choice– is positive. If an individual withdraws into himself, avoids the environment and artificially isolates himself from society, this is negative.

The ability to take responsibility is the main skill on the way to personal transformation. After realizing that all the events taking place in life, and the opinions of others are Feedback world, reaction to the choice made, public opinion loses its value. Approval is a nice bonus, but not a vital necessity.

A positively self-sufficient person does not have painful attachments. He does not feel an urgent need for anyone's calls or meetings.

Another important condition healthy self-sufficiency - the absence of fears or the ability to deal with them. Otherwise similar image life becomes like an escape from problems through self-isolation. And this is already a negative manifestation.

Partnerships

How to become a self-sufficient person?

To decide on a plan of action and evaluate your own strengths, you should pass a small test before starting the transformation. To do this, you need to provide details of moving to a foreign country. There is nowhere to wait for help - all decisions must be made independently. If the situation does not cause fear and even worries a little, the transformation has already begun.

To acquire the desired qualities, it is not necessary to move to another country. All the points necessary to overcome a similar situation can be beaten in hometown, gradually adding new conditions. Namely:

1. 1. Physiological or material needs: food, shelter, sleep, sex.
2. 2. The need for love. A self-sufficient person and a closed person are antonyms. Therefore, in order to achieve spiritual harmony it is important for an individual to belong to a group, to feel loved. You need to learn how to make friends.
3. 3. Confidence in tomorrow: financial stability, Believe in yourself.
4. 4. Self respect. To do this, you need to focus on certain activities to achieve success and recognition in it. Competence in any area greatly affects self-awareness.
5. 5. Intellectual needs. In a rapidly changing world, you need to constantly acquire new skills. This will allow you to always keep up with the times and adds self-confidence.
6. 6. The need for aesthetics. The desire for beauty is a natural human desire, it is important to surround yourself with beautiful, inspiring things.
7. 7. Self-actualization. The most difficult and lengthy item to implement, it includes the realization of dreams, development natural abilities and revealing hidden talents.

Satisfaction of all seven conditions, according to Abraham Maslow, allows the individual to achieve harmony with his inner world, and therefore become self-sufficient. The ability to satisfy everyone in time and in any circumstances basic needs personality makes a person almost invulnerable.

A lot of talk these days is about self-development and personal growth. Publications devoted to these topics are published regularly, and everyone is invited to thematic trainings. You can often hear the definition of self-sufficiency. The media and advertising say that this quality must be developed in yourself, and only it will make you happy. But before believing all these statements, let's try to understand who is he, a self-sufficient person? This is a complex and multifaceted concept, we will try to understand all its aspects.

Such different self-sufficiency

The term we are interested in is used in the most different areas. In a general sense, a self-sufficient person is one who is not afraid of loneliness and does not depend on the people around him. In the household sphere this term can be used to determine the ability to provide yourself with everything you need on your own. In other words, we are talking about financial independence and ability to organize own life. In psychology, self-sufficiency is called independence from others. It's not about refusing to communicate. Self-sufficient people are able to communicate and enjoy interaction with other people. But at the same time, they are not bored alone, alone with themselves. And if they wish, they are able to do without meeting with friends and communicating in any form for a long time. Socionics has another interesting definition self-sufficiency is a state of prosperity and success, when a person feels inner harmony and easily achieves his goals.

Good or bad?

All the qualities of self-sufficient people listed above are positive and positive. But be careful: social phobia is often confused with self-sufficiency. We are talking about the state when a person is afraid to become attached to other people. Often this fear is caused by received in the past psychological trauma. Fear of attachment normal condition in the first months after a difficult separation from a love partner or betrayal by a friend. But if it persists for a long time, we can talk about social phobia. Remember, a self-sufficient person will not purposefully avoid communication, he is not afraid of ending relationships with other people.

Psychological self-sufficiency in detail

On the psychological level self-sufficiency is characterized by confidence in own forces and the ability to make decisions. Such people may ask for advice, but more often they do it solely for the sake of interest. The real and only right decision for them was made long ago. A self-sufficient person is one who does not depend on the opinions of others. Such people do not follow fashion, they choose things and hobbies that are interesting only to them. However, they cannot be offended. negative assessment from the side. A self-sufficient person always knows what he wants and does not give up his ideas and aspirations because of the disapproval of others or external circumstances.

Signs of self-sufficiency

The ability to enjoy yourself and your life is another facet of self-sufficiency. Such people do not need a lot of money or any other special conditions to become happy. Do you think that the opponent is too angry and cynical? Congratulations, you are a self-sufficient person. "What is this?" - you ask. The answer is simple: the one that in any situation will say exactly what he thinks. He will never embellish the bitter truth, but he will always help with advice. Many such people good qualities. They rarely make promises, but they always keep them and never break them. It is almost impossible to offend a self-sufficient person. Such people feel their strength and some superiority over others. Therefore, they care little about the opinions of others and the manifestation of aggression or rudeness.

We already know what a self-sufficient person means. However, we often consider successful and smart those who are diligently trying to create such a reputation for themselves. So here it is important difference self-sufficient from those who are trying to seem so - modesty. People of this type are proud of themselves and feel important and successful, but they do not need a similar assessment from others.

How to recognize a self-sufficient person in a crowd?

Learning something is always more convenient, having before your eyes positive example. Do you doubt whether there is in your environment self-sufficient people? Recognizing them among others is not so difficult. Self-sufficiency completely frees you from the need for the approval of others. People with this quality do not strive to please someone and be pleasant. They are calm and satisfied with themselves, and all the features own character and they are aware of their shortcomings.

Another one distinguishing feature- realistic self-assessment own life. A self-sufficient person is one who lives here and now, avoiding unnecessary illusions. The easiest test for self-sufficiency: ask the interlocutor about whether he is happy. Self-sufficiency allows you to find inner harmony and live full life. And this does not mean at all that there are no plans for the future and goals. Self-sufficient people know how to be happy without even reaching their maximum and continuing to strive for the fulfillment of dreams. In fairness, it should be noted that their success is in more result painstaking work rather than fleeting luck or luck.

From an ordinary person to a self-sufficient person

After reading the first part of the article, one can come to the conclusion that self-sufficient people are special, akin to aliens. In fact, it is about the aggregate personal qualities and way of thinking. If you want to become self-sufficient, everyone can, more often people come to this state in adulthood. Already in high school and higher educational institutions young people prefer to share certain groups. Usually these are not just friendly companies, but some kind of informal circles of interest. However, after some time, such associations and subcultures get bored, and a person sets off to look for new like-minded people. At this time, new interests and preferences may appear. Our hero does not yet know what a self-sufficient person means, but he is already more and more like him. And so, having gained wisdom, having learned not to depend on others and having received necessary knowledge, the individual can easily find his place in life.

Of course, we have considered an exaggerated and simple example of the formation of self-sufficiency. In practice, this process does not always work that way.

How to become a self-sufficient person and find happiness?

Anyone can become self-sufficient. Start by determining the degree of your dependence on society. Try to spend the day alone. Let it be your day off, turn off all means of communication and refuse to virtual communication. What will you do, will you be bored or calm and interesting? There is another interesting psychological game. Just imagine that you have to leave tomorrow for another country or another city. How ready are you for this event, and are you waiting for it with trepidation and excitement or outright fear, because all the usual people and things will remain in your homeland?

Secrets of developing self-sufficiency

In order to become a self-sufficient person, you need to learn to respect and value yourself. Work on self-esteem, try to take all failures neutrally and praise yourself for all successes. Believe in yourself, remember that this is only your life, and no one but you knows what to do with it. Do not try to justify other people's expectations if it is contrary to your desires and goals. And most importantly - do not be afraid of anything: neither likely difficulties, nor public condemnation. Do only what is pleasant and useful to you, and you will feel much better.

So we figured out how to become a self-sufficient person. We hope that these tips will help you become more successful and happier.

admin

In their youth, having enlisted maximalism and their first job, people tend to become independent, leaving parental home. Alluring haze adult life becomes a stumbling block after a short period of time. A happy and carefree youth ends when water and electricity bills appear. Monthly rent for a rented apartment and a fine at work for being late are good reasons to refuse to go to night club staying at home with a mug of tea bags.

At such moments, adolescents develop inferiority complexes, helplessness and insolvency. In adulthood, people try to get rid of childhood fears by regaining self-confidence. Self-sufficiency is the task of a person who, for certain reasons, has formed a worldview that depends on others. However, in an attempt to achieve an intangible result, people forget to familiarize themselves with the concept of such a term in advance, having found out the ways to achieve the cherished goal.

Fundamentals of self-sufficiency

To understand how to become a self-sufficient person, one must first study the stronghold of such a phenomenon. Inner harmony and self-management, stable outlook on life and strong volitional qualities There are many options for the manifestation of spiritual consistency. However, the basics of self-sufficiency traditionally include three straightforward parameters:

A high-paying position in a solid job that brings you spiritual satisfaction and meets financial needs.
A hobby or hobby that you tend to spend your free time on. Favorite business allows you to independently create a schedule for the day, increasing the level of independence from the outside world. If you didn’t manage to see your friends, then there is always an option for an entertaining pastime.
Certain character traits and qualities, without which self-sufficiency cannot be developed. If you decide to become an independent and independent person, you will have to eradicate it, replacing it with self-confidence.

The group of everyday independence includes people who are independent of strangers in household chores. In the section on confidence based on thought processes, there are individuals with an established worldview, thinking about own benefit. AT social category“carry out” people who have achieved the recognition of society, held at the district, city, regional, state or international level.

The main character traits of a self-sufficient personality

Regardless of the type of self-sufficiency that a person wants to achieve, strong-willed and independent individuals who are confident in their own abilities have the following qualities:

Lack of fear of loneliness.
Responsibility for actions taken and words spoken.
Self-righteousness, backed up by powerful inner strength.
Purposefulness, with which you will achieve the desired results.
Detachment, providing the necessary distance from the outside world. At this distance, only sincere people who need you remain in life.
Selfishness, with which you will be primarily concerned about your own benefit and convenience.

Without such character traits and spiritual qualities, it is impossible to achieve the goal. At the same time, mercy and compassion do not become “enemies”, the main thing is to rationally be guided by your own range of feelings and emotions.

Pay attention when you are admired and praised, postponing such emotions in your mind as a bright memory.
Come to terms with where at certain moments you have to be alone with own thoughts. People must have a personal space, which they have the right to dispose of in accordance with individual preferences.
Project in your mind a situation in which you lost the support of your spouse, love partner, friend, or close relative. The experience of independence will help develop the strong-willed qualities necessary in the nature of a self-sufficient person.
Recreate in your memory bright memories that evoke warm feelings. Think about how you can get a similar range of emotions without the participation of another person.

Wealth manifests itself in everyday life, at work, in communication with friends and relatives - this is not another mask that we put on to achieve desired result, but a newly acquired quality, forever "settling" in the mind.

Rules of a self-sufficient person

What postulates are guided by a self-sufficient person? What values ​​prevail in the mind of a wealthy person? How to become an independent unit without the help of outsiders? What should be the limit of communication with the outside world? The answer to the above questions are the rules of a self-sufficient person:

Lack of authority is the first step to own worldview, therefore, the opinion of respected and close people will have to be abandoned.
Get rid of idols and idols - you can achieve similar heights.
Lose pride - a vice that alienates true benefactors from you. Be confident in your own abilities and “lift” your nose up - different manifestations self-sufficiency. Remember this fact.
Erase the past that depresses you. If the memory is still preserved bad memories that negatively affect self-esteem, then replace them with new emotions that develop a self-sufficient personality in you.
Stop complaining about the environment, justifying your own act. Feeling sorry for yourself is a sure way to self-destruction, which does not allow you to become a socially successful person.
Be honest with yourself. You can be cunning or not tell the truth to strangers, but never deceive your own consciousness. Lies will sow doubt and uncertainty inside.
Take care of your appearance, be sure to educate yourself. Improving character, intellect and figure will develop discipline and allow you to be proud of conquering new heights in various fields vital activity.
Learn to solve your own problems on your own, without resorting to the help of outsiders.
Update your list of goals and objectives regularly. Don't stop at results, but strive for new "victories".

Guided by simple rules to achieve self-sufficiency, you can become an independent person with a formed worldview in a short period of time. The main thing is to create an image taking into account your own preferences, without adhering to generally accepted standards and regulations.

January 18, 2014

Today on the site Koshechka.ru we will look for ways to. After all, it doesn't really happen weak women- there are those who are unsure of themselves or those who have shouldered an unbearable burden of responsibility. Let's find out how to successfully get out of such a crisis.

Self-sufficiency and life harmony

Why do women strive to be self-sufficient? Many will answer: to achieve your always and everywhere, after all, despite the fact that intelligence and beauty are our strong trump cards, they are useless if the soil constantly leaves from under our feet.

Becoming a self-sufficient woman means learning to manage your internal forces. Only in this way can you not only fight against your shortcomings, but also be able to make them work for you!

When a person becomes self-sufficient, he get rid of feelings of envy and hatred. Bright and successful personalities themselves become objects of envy and discussion.

How to become a self-sufficient person? It is necessary to feel absolute prosperity with all your soul. Find time to stop, think, love yourself and show respect and due attention to yourself. Fill your "black holes" where you feel empty.

It is not very difficult - you just have to wish strongly. In reality, everyone needs you "in so far as". The only person who knows you best of all and is able to love, respect, appreciate you and accept you for who you are until the end of your days is you yourself! And as soon as you become truly self-sufficient, the rest begin to reach out to you like buttons to a magnet.

To become self-sufficient means to be happy regardless of the circumstances!

Overcoming emotional dependence

The first thing to start with and what to overcome for those who want to know how to become a happy and self-sufficient woman - emotional dependence from a partner, friend, etc. To do this, the site recommends that you read the recommendations of a psychologist and follow them:

• Notice the moments when you are supported and loved, even if these are small signs of attention.
• When you receive support and love from the environment, turn your attention to your body. Remember this pleasant feeling and refer to it when necessary, without attracting others.
• Learn that people can not always be with you, constantly express love. Everyone has a personal rhythm of alienation and intimacy, peace and activity, solitude and communication. Sometimes leaving close contacts, they do not necessarily stop loving you less and do not become bad. You can be sad or regret about it, but it is not necessary to collapse because of this.
• Imagine that you have lost a partner or friend. Surely, it will be unbearably painful, scary, bitter and hard. Try to get through it. It may not be easy, however, this is an experience, your life. Remember the period before this person entered your life. You lived without him, and life went on as usual.
• Remember the most beautiful thing in a relationship, feel it with your whole body and stay in that state. Then think about how you can get it in life.

Dependency is an attempt to exist on someone else's resources, so the best medicine it will have a life of its own.

How to become self-sufficient? Main Rules

1. If you do not feel emotional or have already successfully got rid of it - well done! But you should not rest on your laurels for a long time, you still have a lot of painstaking work on yourself. There are several important rules on the way to becoming a self-sufficient person.
2. No authority. Do not think that someone is better (stronger, smarter) than you. Everyone is at their own stage of the journey. If someone today has achieved more than you, it means that at this moment they have simply completed several steps more.
3. Lose your pride. Do not think that you are better than someone (stronger, more worthy). It happens that a person helps another in order to feel strength and influence. But pride is a vice that prevents you from always achieving your goal. She is able to scare away your benefactors and definitely will not tell you how to become a truly self-sufficient person. Show people how important they are to you - learn how to ask correctly. Does the feeling of insignificance interfere with asking correctly? It all depends on your perception of the situation. Do not think: "This is not work - this is my personal", think differently: "Nothing personal - this is just work."
4. Kill the past. Thinking that you have a terrible past, you allow it to eat you from the inside, creating those gaping holes in you through which your self-sufficiency flows. If the past is negative - send energy to the future.
5. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Everyone is unhappy in their own way, and you are especially... Stop it immediately! The unfortunate will never be self-sufficient, if only because then no one will pity her. Those who refuse to feel sorry for themselves discover a hidden reserve in themselves.
6. Don't lie to yourself. In salvation, a lie is still appropriate, but you should never lie to yourself. On the own example I can say: until I began to engage in creativity, I convinced myself that this is for those who have time and wind in their heads. Now I have stopped my self-deception and reveal my creative potential, as I understood: in order to become self-sufficient and successful person you need to stop lying to yourself and do what your calling is and what your soul lies in.

I guess there's nothing more to add here. If you want to be self-sufficient - be it!

Saltykova Anna - especially for Koshechka.ru - a site for lovers ... into yourself!