(Brian Tracy, Maximizing, book excerpt)

Destructive criticism is one of the most dangerous lines of behavior. It reduces self-esteem, impoverishes a person's own image, and undermines the effectiveness of the business in which a person is engaged. Destructive criticism shakes a person's self-confidence, he begins to engage in self-deprecation, comes into a tense state and constantly makes mistakes in the very area in which he was criticized. He may completely refuse to repeat attempts and abandon this lesson.

For every instance of the average parent being praised, there are eight criticisms of their own children. Parents do not hesitate to criticize children in an attempt to get them to correct their own behavior. But the opposite is happening. Because of destructive criticism undermines the child's self-esteem and undermines his self-concept, efficiency drops rather than increases. The child does not get better, but worse. Destructive criticism makes a person feel incompetent and inferior. He begins to get angry, defensive, persistent, or even tries to eliminate himself. The results drop to zero. There are all sorts of negative consequences. The relationship between parent and child is especially affected.

Children criticized for school marks, soon develop negative associations from schoolwork and own feelings. They begin to hate it all and avoid it as much as possible. They see school as a source of pain and frustration. By the laws of attraction and conformity, they begin to make friends with children who share the same approach.

People often make the mistake of thinking they are doing constructive criticism while tearing the other person apart. They call this criticism constructive, trying to rationally explain their own behavior. True constructive criticism should lead to good feelings, to a sense of being able to do something better. If criticism does not lead to improvements as a result of increased self-esteem and perceptions of the level of one's own effectiveness, then it is nothing more than a destructive act of self-expression undertaken against someone who is not able to fight back.

Destructive criticism is the root of the multitude personal problems and hostility between people. It leaves a trail of broken spirit, demoralization, anger, resentment, self-doubt, and a range of negative emotions.

If you start criticizing children from the very early age they will soon learn to criticize themselves. They humiliate themselves, underestimate their abilities, negatively interpret their experience. They constantly feel that they are not good enough, no matter how hard they work and how good their results are.

The main purpose of criticism, if necessary, is to achieve improvements. It should lead to more High Quality. Constructive criticism not based on revenge. It cannot be used as a tool to express dissatisfaction or anger. Her goal is to help as well. don't hurt. Otherwise, it is better to refrain from using it altogether.

The following seven ways will help you provide “constructive feedback instead of destructive criticism.

First, try your best to protect the dignity of the other person. Consider it as an inflated balloon, and your words as needles. Treat him gently. I always start the correction process with my children with the words: "I love you very much." I then continue talking, providing the feedback and guidance they need to get better.

Second, focus on the future, not the past. Don't cry over spilled milk. Talk about what can be done now. Use words like "Why not next time...".

Third, focus on the behavior or outcome, not the person. Replace the word "you" with a description of the problem.

Don't say, "You're not doing enough." Say something like this: “Your numbers are below what we expected. What can be done to improve them?

Fourth, talk about yourself as the source of your feelings. Instead of saying "You make me angry," say "I get very angry when you do this" or "I'm not happy with the situation and would like to discuss how it can be changed."

Fifth, agree exactly what you are going to change, when and how much. Be specific, look to the future, and look for a solution. Say something like, "For the future, it's very important that you keep accurate records and double check everything before shipping is complete."

Sixth, offer help. Ask: “How can I help you in this situation?” Be prepared to show the person what to do and how to do it. When you are a parent or leader, one of your key tasks is learning. You shouldn't expect someone to do something before you show them exactly how to do it.

Seventh, proceed from the assumption that the person wants to do a good job, that he did something wrong by mistake, and not intentionally. The problem is only a lack of skills, incomplete information or misunderstanding.

Be calm, patient, encouraging, supportive, speak clearly and constructively, without anger or de-structivism. Try to elevate a person, not tear him apart. no more fast way increase the level of self-esteem and self-esteem of one's own effectiveness than the rejection of any destructive criticism. You will immediately notice the difference in your relationship.

Criticism is something that can be easily avoided by saying nothing, doing nothing and being nobody. Aristotle so categorically put it in his ancient times. That is, criticism, it is like politics - if you do not criticize yourself, then someone will criticize you. Every day, people are faced with expressing feelings and evaluating the result of not only their actions.

Criticism - what is it?

You can often hear - "I can not stand criticism in my address" or "this critic spoke with approval about the film." And many other phrases in which the word criticism appears, which came from ancient Greek. Kritikos in Greek meant "the art of taking apart". Criticism is:

1. Making a judgment about the merits of something.
2. Reprimand, search for mistakes.
3. Art of analysis and evaluation of artistic work.

What is a critic?

A critic is not only a person who judges and evaluates, it is also a specialty. A professional critic analyzes works of art:

• literary;
• musical;
• theatrical;
• architectural;
• cinematic.

For him, to criticize is to weigh all aspects - to consider the ways of transmitting material, to assess the extent to which the author has succeeded in achieving his goal, whether the chosen means are justified. A good critic owns the subject that he analyzes. A famous cultural critic was the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. He wrote critical essays on religion, morality, contemporary art and science.

Criticism - psychology

Criticism in psychology is a subject of great interest. Psychology explores the cognitive and emotional effects of criticism. Psychologists are interested in:

1. The intentions that people have for criticism.
2. The effect that criticism has on people.
3. How people react to criticism and how they deal with it.
4. forms of criticism.
5. Rejection of criticism.

For psychologists, criticism is a form of ego defense. They found that people who tend to constantly judge others were often criticized in childhood when it hurt the most. Children under the age of seven in the phrase "you good boy, but this bad behavior see only the second part. Any criticism, even very mild, means for the child that he is bad and unworthy.

Is criticism good or bad?

Criticism is good if you have a positive attitude towards it. This is an important life skill. Everyone is subject to criticism, sometimes professional. Sometimes it is difficult to accept, but it all depends on the reaction. You can use criticism:

• in in a positive way that leads to improvement;
• negative, which reduces self-esteem and causes stress, anger or even aggression.

What is the criticism?

There are many types of criticism. They differ in the scope of use, the way they are presented and perceived, and the goals they pursue. Criticism happens:

1. aesthetic. About beauty and ugliness, taste and bad taste, style and fashion, the meaning and quality of the work.
2. logical. About an idea, argument, action, or situation that has no rational meaning.
3. Actual. About the lack of sufficient evidence.
4. Positive. On the positive, but ignored aspects. Often people only see negative side something, so there is a need to highlight the positive. Often used for self-defense and justification.
5. Negative. About what is wrong and meaningless. Expresses disapproval, disagreement and emphasizes shortcomings. Often interpreted as an attack.
6. Practical. about beneficial effect.
7. theoretical. About the meaning of the ideas on which the practice is based.

There are many types of criticism - it is an integral part of almost all areas. human life. But the most famous are two types - and destructive criticism. Indeed, no matter how many options for criticism exist, they can all be divided into these two “camps”. The difference between design and destructive criticism lies in the way the judgment is presented.

Constructive criticism

Constructive criticism is intended to identify errors and help what, where and how can be improved. It should be seen as useful feedback. When criticism is constructive, it is usually easier to accept, even if it hurts a little. It is important to remember that it can be used to your advantage. Therefore, letting go of criticism in someone's address, it is worth considering what benefit it will bring. Rules for constructive criticism:

1. Follow the "sandwich" method: first focus on strengths, then - the disadvantages, and at the end - a repetition of the advantages and possible positive results after the elimination of the disadvantages.
2. Focus on the situation, not the .
3. Specify feedback.
4. Give advice on how to do better.
5. Avoid sarcasm.

Destructive criticism

Destructive criticism hurts pride and negatively affects self-esteem, deprives confidence. Destructive criticism is sometimes just a thoughtless act of another person, but can also be intentionally mean, and in some cases lead to anger and aggression. Types of destructive criticism:

1. Bias. The critic does not admit that he can be wrong.
2. Nebula. The assessment is given without specifics.
3. irrelevance. The arguments are irrelevant.
4. Contempt. Expressing judgments in a rude manner.
5. unsubstantiated. No examples or justifications.
6. sweeping. Rejection of alternative points of view.

How to criticize correctly?

There are two types of critical behavior:

1. A person objectively weighs the pros and cons, and then draws a conclusion.
2. The critic makes judgments based on emotions.

The latter is often associated with cruelty. The criticism in this case stems from inner feeling dissatisfaction and continuous effort to resist it. A person who tends to be "emotionally" critical tries to increase the feeling dignity by denying the value of the other person. Such criticism is based on arrogance and is a relationship killer.

The golden rule that psychologists recommend to adhere to is “Respect the person. Focus your criticism on the behavior that needs to be changed—on what people are actually doing and saying.” In any case, whatever criticism overtakes, you need to remember that it can be extremely useful if you remember:

1. Criticism is a form of communication. Accepting criticism, you get feedback, and with it the opportunity to improve for the better.
2. Feedback helps you get better. If you always think you're right without getting feedback from anyone, how do you know you're right?
3. Correct criticism is advantageous. Especially it concerns professional sphere if the customer can tell what is the ideal product or service they need.
4. You need to respond to criticism correctly - language is very important. Better not to get into an argument.
5. No need to take criticism, even seemingly extremely unfair, to heart.

Criticism

Along with the methods of substantiating the thesis, the art of argumentation also involves mastering rational methods critics .

Criticism - this is logical operation aimed at destroying the earlier process of argumentation .

According to the form of expression, criticism is implicit and explicit .

Implicit criticism is a skeptical assessment of the position of the proponent without concrete analysis deficiencies and precise indication of weak spots. Doubt in this case is expressed approximately in the following form: “Your ideas seem doubtful to me”, “I am very skeptical about your statements”, etc. The request for clarification and concretization of such criticism is usually left unanswered.

Explicit criticism- an indication of the specific shortcomings identified in the argumentation of the proponent.

There are three types of direct criticism: destructive, constructive and mixed .

We will call destructive criticism aimed at destroying the argumentative process by criticizing the thesis, arguments or demonstration.

(1) Criticism of the thesis - very efficient destructive force operation, the purpose of which is to show the inconsistency of the thesis. Such criticism is called refutation of the thesis . The thesis is regarded as deliberately false , if proponent knew about it beforehand , but nevertheless defended it, creating the appearance of argumentation. Erroneous thesis will be if the proponent was mistaken about the actual logical status of its assertion.

Consider direct refutation of the thesis , which is constructed in the form of a reasoning called « reduction to absurdity». The argument in this case proceeds in following form. First, an apagogic step is taken, i.e. conditionally admit the truth of the position put forward by the proponent and deduce the consequences logically arising from it. At the same time, they argue something like this: let's say that the proponent is right and his thesis is true, but in this case such and such consequences follow from it.

If, when comparing the consequences with the facts, it turns out that they contradict the objective data, then they are thereby recognized as untenable. On this basis, they conclude that the thesis itself is untenable, arguing according to the principle: false conclusions always testify to the falsity of their foundation .

Refutation by the method of "reduction to absurdity" can be represented in the diagram, where the following notation is introduced: T- the thesis of the proponent; FROM- consequences arising from the thesis; F- factual data:

As a result, "reduction to the absurd" means the following: since what is deduced from T consequence FROM is in conflict with the fact F, thus it is recognized as false - |S. On this basis, the conditionally admitted thesis is also refuted - |T.

In the process of argumentation, direct refutation performs destructive , or destructive , function. FROM with its help, they demonstrate the failure of the proponent's thesis without putting forward any idea in return. Despite its purely critical function, refutation by "reduction to absurdity" is often useful. In science, it serves as a means of testing the reliability of various kinds of hypotheses and theories. In the course of the trial, it can be used to show the inconsistency of the thesis put forward by the accuser.

(2). Criticism of the Arguments . Since argumentation is the substantiation of a thesis with the help of previously established provisions, arguments should be used, the truth of which is beyond doubt. If the opponent manages to show the doubtfulness or falsity of the arguments, then the position of the proponent is significantly weakened, because such criticism shows groundlessness of his thesis .

Criticism of the arguments can be expressed in the fact that the opponent points to an inaccurate presentation of facts, the ambiguity of the procedure for generalizing statistical data, expresses doubts about the authority of the expert whose conclusion the proponent refers to, etc. With this kind criticisms the proponent cannot be ignored. He must either confirm his arguments or reject them.

Doubts about the correctness of the arguments are transferred to the thesis, which logically follows from the arguments and is also regarded as doubtful. If the arguments are found to be false, the thesis is unconditionally considered unfounded and needs a new, independent confirmation. .

(3) Criticism of the demonstration - the third way of destructive criticism. In this case, it is shown that in the arguments of the proponent there is no logical connection between the arguments and the thesis. If the thesis does not follow from the arguments, then it is considered unfounded. . Primary and destinations reasoning is out of logical connection with each other.

To create the appearance of a logical connection between the arguments and the thesis, sophisticated polemicists, in order to influence listeners in public discussion, sometimes resort to language tricks like the following: “With all certainty, we can say that in this situation only one conclusion can be drawn ...”, “Facts convincingly confirm the idea that ... ”, etc.

Successful criticism of a demonstration presupposes a clear understanding of the rules and errors of the corresponding conclusions: deduction, induction, analogy, in the form of which the justification of the thesis proceeds.

Both the criticism of the arguments and the criticism of the demonstration in themselves only destroy the argument and show the groundlessness of the thesis. In this case, the thesis can be said to be does not rely on arguments or relies on poor-quality arguments and requires new justification .

These methods of criticism are used not only as independent operations, but also in various combinations. So, a direct refutation of the thesis can be supplemented critical analysis arguments along with errors in arguments, violations in the very process of reasoning can be revealed, etc.

In its own way cognitive function destructive criticism serves as an effective means of identifying flaws in the arguments of the proponents. In one case, this is a false or erroneous thesis, in another, unconvincing or incorrectly chosen arguments, in the third, a sloppy or deliberately confusing demonstration.

At the same time, one can hear accusations of one-sidedness against destructive criticism that does not carry a clear positive beginning, since the opponent only develops criticism and does not offer anything in return.

Such reproaches are appropriate for opponents who limit themselves to destructive criticism in the field of politics, business, ideology or culture. A unilaterally critical position can here turn into criticism.

However, there are also argumentative processes where destructive attitude turns out to be the only possible way critics . An example of this is criminal proceedings, which are built on an adversarial basis with the separation of the functions of prosecution and defense. In the process of judicial debate, the defender can only destructively criticize the position of the prosecution. The attitude towards discovering positive ideas that explain the essence of the case is not the responsibility of a defense lawyer and is not practiced in legal proceedings.

Similar is the position of the opponent when discussing a dissertation for the competition degree or when defending a graduation project. The opponent can arbitrarily critically analyze the provisions put forward in the dissertation or diploma, but he is not obliged to offer a positive solution to the issue.

The regular use of destructive criticism in politics, ideology and other areas is a clear indicator that the opposing side is embarking on the path of destructive opposition.

Every day we endure criticism from numerous people. Behavior, statements, appearance etc. And this assessment is not always pleasant. If significant views stranger can be ignored, then the statements of relatives or friends are sometimes perceived very painfully. However, we ourselves also evaluate other people. How to express your opinion correctly so as not to cause negative emotions?

Criticism and its types

Have an opinion and speak it out loud normal phenomenon. That is what is called criticism. What matters is how it is presented. Constructive criticism aims to be useful, to point out mistakes and how to correct them. It is expressed in the form of advice, objective analysis, recommendations. Destructive criticism is also a way to give an assessment, but it does not carry any benefit. This method is used to make a person lose his temper and, under the influence of momentary emotions, abandon his plans.

Principles of constructive criticism

• Objectivity. Express your opinion, but do not pretend that it is the only true one.
• Concreteness. Focus on specific points, not on the whole work.
• Argumentation. Show what your assessment is based on, justify your opinion.
• Experience and practice. Examples from personal life are very revealing. Tell us how you avoided mistakes or corrected them.
• Professionalism. If you are well versed in the issue that you criticize, then you will be listened to. Otherwise, you risk being branded as an amateur.
• No transition to personality. Criticize the work, not the person, show respect for the opponent.
• Focus on the positives. Pointing out the shortcomings of the work, do not forget to mention its merits.

How to criticize

When evaluating the actions of another person, it is important that he hears what you have to say. Here are some rules for constructive criticism:

1. Express your opinion when you are one on one with a person. Respect your opponent, do not make his mistakes public.
2. Suggest solutions to the problem. Help with advice or deed, otherwise the meaning of criticism will be unclear.
3. Keep calm. The opponent will respond to aggressive statements with aggression.
4. Evaluate work in a timely manner. If constructive criticism comes later long time, you will be considered a quarrelsome, vindictive person.
5. Alternate negative moments with praise. A person will feel that he is valued, despite the mistakes made. He will try to justify the trust and will not make such mistakes in the future.
6. Criticism is a dialogue. Let your opponent speak. Perhaps he could not influence the situation that led to the errors.
7. You can't criticize by referring to others. Be responsible for your words, otherwise you will be accused of spreading gossip.
8. When the causes of errors and solutions are found, leave this question. No need to constantly remind the opponent of his mistakes.
9. If the opponent is irritated and unable to adequately perceive your words, postpone the conversation for a while.

Scope of constructive criticism

Evaluating is not as easy as it seems. Sometimes even a very restrained critic can lose his temper and be overly emotional. But there are areas in which destructive criticism is unacceptable in any case.

The first relates to the leader-subordinate relationship. With the help of constructive criticism, it is necessary to correct the actions of the employee. Otherwise, the person will perform poorly and will have to be fired.

Another area is the educator (parent, teacher) - the child. Destructive criticism lowers self-esteem little man. If a child is constantly told that he does everything badly, then he grows into a weak, insecure person.

The third area is education. Constructive criticism of the teacher guides the student, helps to eliminate mistakes and gain new knowledge. Negative rating gives reverse effect- the desire to learn disappears, knowledge is not acquired.

Examples of constructive criticism

How easy it is to express your opinion under the influence of emotions ... The result of destructive criticism is resentment and unwillingness to listen. But you can say the same different words. Let's look at a few examples.

• “What were you thinking when you wrote the report? This is no good! Change everything immediately!"

Nobody likes a rude boss. It is better to say about the shortcomings in a different way:

• "Ivan Ivanovich, you good specialist, but the numbers in the last column of the report are incorrect. Fix them please. I hope you will be more careful next time. Your diligence and responsibility are valuable qualities for our company.”

• "Why did you wear this terrible dress? It has a bad color and hangs on you like a sack."

After such a phrase, a quarrel with a friend is guaranteed. Better to rephrase:

• “I really liked the dress you wore at the weekend. It well emphasizes the figure, and the color to the face. And this outfit is too pale for you. Besides, you have beautiful figure and this dress hides it.”

• “Ham! You can't connect a couple of words! You're talking nonsense!"

Dispute in working environment will escalate into a quarrel if both opponents are unrestrained. It's better to say:

• “No need to be rude. I think you should apologize. Don't rush to answer next time. You are too emotional. First calm down, consult, then express your opinion.

How not to respond to criticism

1. “I was criticized, so I won’t succeed.” Low self-esteem is the first step to failure. Even if the result of the work done turned out to be imperfect, this is not a reason to become discouraged. You must always believe in yourself, and criticism will help correct the situation.
2. “They spoke to me too emotionally, which means that I do everything badly.” What is important is not so much the form of presentation of the assessment as its content. Both constructive and destructive criticism can be expressed too emotionally. It's all about the person who voices their opinion. Here it is important to discard unnecessary emotions and hear useful recommendations.
3. “They criticize me. We need to respond urgently." An instant reaction to an assessment is not always good. If the criticism was destructive, the opponent spoke in a raised tone, then there is a risk that you will be drawn into this emotional condition, and the result of communication will be a quarrel. It is better to take a break, calm down and think over your answer.
4. “If they criticize me, then they find fault with me.” See other people's evaluations as a help, not as a way to throw you off balance. Criticized? Not scary. Now you know what not to do, and do not make mistakes in the future.
5. "I don't care if they criticize me." The lack of response to an assessment is just as bad as an instant response. Think about what lies behind the criticism? Maybe you are in danger, and the opponent warns about it.
6. "I'm frustrated by the criticism so I can't do anything." Don't take other people's opinions to heart. Constructive criticism provides an opportunity to avoid mistakes or correct them. The main thing - less emotions during decision making.
7. “They criticize me because I don’t like / quarreled / they envy me ...” The search for motives can lead to backfire. While you are looking for the reasons for the criticism, the time for correcting errors will be lost. It is more important to understand what they say, and not why they do it.
8. “Everyone criticizes me because they don’t understand anything.” If the same rating is given different people think about it, maybe you are doing something wrong.
9. “They don’t tell me anything, so I’m doing everything right.” Criticism is not always explicit. For example, subordinate or unfamiliar person cannot speak openly. However, some actions or words may be hidden criticism. It is important to see it and take action if the assessment is dominated by common sense and not emotions.

Criticize properly. But if possible, it is better to refrain from statements. Criticism can hurt and destroy good relationships.

Constructive criticism aims to achieve improvements. Its expression should lead to increased results. Constructive criticism is not based on revenge. It should not be used as a way to express dissatisfaction or anger.

One of the most dangerous lines of behavior is destructive criticism. It contributes to lowering the self-esteem of the person to whom the opinion is expressed. In addition, such behavior significantly reduces the effectiveness of activities, undermines self-confidence. The person who is criticized begins to engage in self-deprecation, experiences tension and begins to make mistakes in the area in which he was criticized. As a result, he may completely abandon his occupation.

Of course, criticism is needed. However, it should help, not hinder. Constructive criticism should be directed not at the person, but at the actions. In this case, it is better not to condemn, but to offer an alternative.

One of the main skills for a manager is the ability to positively (constructively) criticize his subordinates and colleagues, without making enemies and creating favorable psychological conditions in a collective. This is important for leaders of absolutely all ranks, different firms and enterprises.

Exist certain rules criticism.

1. Start with praise. Constructive criticism should include three parts. The first one should be set to positive tone to prepare a person in some way. You should start by pointing out the merits, with their true recognition. The manager who called his subordinate for a conversation should greet him in a friendly way and start a conversation about positive business and personal qualities invited. After that, you can proceed to the analysis of the violation. Then, having drawn certain conclusions, the necessary sanctions are applied. After that, the leader should again talk about the merits of the subordinate, while expressing the hope that such miscalculations will not happen again. In accordance with the "sandwich law", the guest will remember the first and the last part conversation.

2. Do not immediately reject opinions that may run counter to your own. No need to tell a person that he is wrong. We should not forget that everyone has their own view of the environment, and everyone has the right to express their own opinion.

3. Constructive criticism should apply not only to the actions of another person, but also to your own. You should also remember your shortcomings, acknowledge them. This position significantly softens the perception, relieves the opponent of the need to defend himself.

4. The criticized must have the opportunity to save his own prestige.

5. It should give the impression during the conversation that mistakes are easily corrected.

6. The leader should act in such a way that people are happy to do as they are invited.

7. When criticizing, you need to focus on the main thing, and not on the little things.

8. You should not remember past mistakes. Criticism should be on a given and specific occasion.

9. The manager should blame as little as possible. At the same time, attention should be paid to constructive proposals.

10. If the opponent is emotionally aroused, it is necessary to withstand psychological pauses letting the person "cool down".

11. The leader should not forget that he has only a minute to speak. After the opponent begins to look for arguments that justify him and reject the remarks. Therefore, in the first minute you need to try to say the most basic.

12. No need to demand immediate recognition of mistakes and agreement with criticism. A person needs time to psychologically prepare for this.

13. Should not criticize (if possible) in public.