Let's see when people cry? Tears are emotional reaction pain, stress, loss, powerful emotions. There are tears of joy and happiness. Everything comes from an "overabundance" of feelings.

A person who cannot cry, once, for some reason, "forbade" himself to feel, experience pain, grieve ... I recall a metaphor about a child left in a supermarket.

At first, when the child realizes that he is alone, he begins to panic, rush about and look for his mother. He is crying desperately, calling her. Can't believe he's alone. He is angry at her that she left, and at himself that he did not see when she disappeared. The child thinks: “I will behave well, and she will come! I behaved badly, I asked a lot, but now everything will be different.” But no, mom doesn't come back.

He begins to grieve, what should he do, what should he do? The next step is regret. He remembers his mother and cries, regretting that he once offended her or behaved in a wrong way. If the mother does not appear, the child loses the desire to do something, he sits, unable to move. Grief has its limit, the child does not care. He is devastated and no longer cries. He is in severe depression. If we assume that at this moment the mother will appear, the child will react to her indifferently. Something burned out inside, faith was gone. And mom will have to work hard to restore trust. The same "mechanism" works in an adult.

When a child realizes that mom will not come, he holds out his hand social worker and leaves the store with him.

If you remember the psychology of loss, given example illustrates the work of grief. In the beginning, when we become aware of loss or death, we deny. "No, it can not be!" - the first words that we say, experiencing the shock of what happened.

The second stage is anger. It can be turned outward, where we are looking for the culprit, or inward, if we blame ourselves for what happened. Attempts to "negotiate with fate" begin. We try to make a deal, we set conditions, inventing that after their implementation, something will change. And this is the third stage of our suffering.

When we finally accept the situation and realize the magnitude of the disaster that has befallen us, the fourth stage of grief begins - depression. Long, dark time, without hope. And finally, sooner or later we accept the situation as it is. We are resigned. We see that the sun is in place, the Earth is in motion, the seasons go on as usual. Looking for philosophical consolation and move on.

Loss is the death of loved ones, and the loss of relationships, and moving. You can lose a part of yourself literally, - if a person has undergone amputation, received severe burns, serious injury, or suffered another qualitative change in his body.

The work of grief (transitions from one stage to another) normally lasts a year. There is also the concept of pathological grief. When a person gets stuck in one of the stages for several years or decades.

So why can't a person cry?

Let's remember our child. He stopped crying when he became depressed. An adult person cannot cry because he did not mourn, did not accept, did not survive, forbade himself to feel, pulled himself into a severe corset and lives like this for a long time.

The absence of tears – and the “ban on feelings” associated with them – is a dangerous choice. After all, emotions, including excessive ones that require an outlet, have not disappeared and will not disappear. The body can help deal with them by getting sick. Psychosomatic diseases often "help" a person to remember their unresolved psychological conflicts.

What about a person who cannot cry?

You need to deal with this symptom! Tears are the body's natural response to emotions. If not, it's time to figure out what's wrong. And it is better to do it together with an experienced specialist.

If you need advice, call +79154066249.
My office address: St. Dubininskaya d.57, building. 1A.

The first thing you can try to do is try not to think about the things that make you cry. The more you think about them, the more you want to cry. Think, for example, about your work or study. Engage yourself in a problem that requires your maximum concentration. For example, try mentally multiplying two-digit or three-digit numbers or just keep a count of all the objects around you. However, do not think about things that make you tender. They can lead to tears, which in your case will only worsen the situation.

Control yourself

Crying is most often directly related to emotional experiences. Therefore, the natural way to prevent tears is to control yourself. Try to calm down, close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Breathe slowly and through your nose. This will help you relieve the tension that occurs just before crying and stabilize emotional condition. You can try counting to 10 by alternating between inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. This will help you to move away from negative thoughts as much as possible.

Physical activity

You can also distract yourself to prevent crying. physical movements. Some of them block tears naturally. Try, for example, biting your lips, pinching yourself, or clenching your hands as tightly as possible into a fist. Similar physical activity won't let you cry. However, do not bring yourself to pain, it can cause reverse effect. Sometimes it is easier to hold back tears when they are already coming. At this moment, try to open your eyes as much as possible and raise your eyebrows up. It is almost impossible to cry in this position.

Try also to go for a short run on outdoors or get busy exercise. The tighter they are, the better. Such activity will lead to the release of endorphins by the body, which will cheer you up, give you vigor and thus keep you from crying.

Lump in the throat

If you are in stressful situation and you are very emotional about it, holding back tears can be extremely difficult. The main problem in this case, there is a sensation of a lump in the throat, which occurs as a result of expansion glottis in your throat. It leads to nervous tension and makes you cry. To get rid of this feeling, drink a glass of water in small sips. This will help relax the muscles and calm the nerves. If you can't drink, take slow, deep breaths. Try swallowing air, sometimes it helps to soothe your throat.

Sometimes it is very necessary to depict strong emotions. Play like crying in the movies. Emotions are expressive, they capture the attention of a person, shake him to the core. Logic is powerless against feelings. This is a very powerful tool for influencing other people.

Can this be learned? How to make yourself laugh for no reason or burst into tears at any moment? For many, this is real. acting skills inaccessible to mere mortals. In fact, learning this is not so easy, but it is quite possible.

First, go to the mirror, stand up straight and completely relax. Relaxation is very important. Release your facial muscles. Then start grimacing, portraying certain emotions: sadness, joy, anger, bewilderment. Don't force yourself at first, play what you want. Do not rush, do it calmly, somewhat slowly.

Do not try to immediately portray vivid emotions, this mistake is often made by beginners. Direct your attention inward. Stanislavsky said that the main thing happens inside.

Having depicted one emotion, feel how your facial muscles work in it. Feel what your body wants to do. If you take the time to do this, you will quickly notice that even in such a simulated emotion, teeth and fists clench by themselves in anger, the head and shoulders drop in sadness, and lightness appears in the chest in joy.

Sadness and tears

Now take Special attention sadness. Think about what makes you sad. Remember a moment from own life when you feel like crying. How old were you then? Dive into this moment. Remember. Become a child. Maybe then you did not cry, but now you can ... Now everything is possible. At first, it is enough just to feel the moisture in the eyes.

Play this theater every day for at least 20 minutes. Either way, it won't be a waste of time! Gradually, you become aware of the connection between your body and emotions. This is self-development, the path to mastery.

Development is the way to mastery of an artist

Now we need to make the state more manageable. To do this, let's go from the outside. Look at facial expressions crying man. Find right moment to the cinema and carefully watch a few times. Now play: reproduce the facial expressions of the crying, sob.

Remembering your own crying will help you force yourself to be natural. Connect them together, external facial expressions and breathing while crying with personal internal experience. Do not be distructed.

Even a small tear is an indicator that you are on the right track. You can easily verify this for yourself. When you linger in this state, tears will roll on their own. If this happens, don't hold them back, give them freedom. Each time the skill will grow and it will be easier and easier to get.

In the future, to launch necessary emotions it's better to take your own personal experience, like a scene from a movie that makes you want to cry. This will help you learn how to simultaneously experience the role and observe it in order to make adjustments. However, there are no hard and fast recommendations here, as in any creative process.

Auxiliary techniques

Of course, there are more mundane options for how to cause tears. Actors use them too.

How to cry on stage:

• If you rub your eyes and do not blink for about 3 minutes, your eyes begin to water. In order not to blink, you can simply hold your eyelids with your fingers. Add to this facial expressions, sobs and what you have already learned in terms of managing emotions, then your game will turn out to be convincing. This is the easiest way to induce tears.
• Some actors use a similar trick. They simply open their eyes wide, hold them as long as they can force themselves, and then yawn several times.
• Use peppermint oil or menthol, they are part of cosmetic balms and ointments. If you rub such a balm or peppermint oil under the eyes, on the lower eyelid, then in about half a minute the tears will pour themselves. Don't forget to play. When using this method, do not let the menthol get into your eyes!
• Another technique, how to cry on purpose, was often used by artists of the past. We hold our face over a freshly chopped onion, and when our eyes water, we run to the stage. The pluses include that such inhalations are useful for the eyes and lungs. To do everything imperceptibly, you need to crush the onion to the state of gruel and fill it with a small vial. Hide it in the palm of your hand, and when necessary, bring it to your eyes.
• A similar trick is to use a handkerchief soaked in ammonia.
• If all else fails, sodium sulfacyl eye drops can be instilled. This medicine is often used in preventive purposes. Pinching your eyes will make it easy to induce tears when you want. In the cinema, harmless “natural tear” drops are more often used; they are also sold in pharmacies. To use them, boldly drip 8-10 drops, tears will flow due to the amount of liquid.

How not to cry if there are tears in your eyes

Sometimes there is a question of holding back tears. For artists, it also occurs when they are deeply immersed in feelings. But often those who simply don’t know what to do when you want to stop crying, but you can’t, ask about this.

Here's what to do:

• Equalize your breathing. Crying breathes unevenly, impetuous sobs, sniffing are very characteristic of crying. Take a deep breath in through your nose, then slowly exhale through your mouth. Several such breaths and exhalations noticeably calm emotions. A similar effect occurs if you take a deep breath and hold your breath.
• Take a break. Imagine your favorite character. Count the objects in the room as you wish. Clench your hands tightly into fists, focusing your attention on them. Any of these tricks will help you switch.
• Drink some water. Swallowing will relax the lump in the throat that often accompanies the rush of emotions.
• Blink to stop the flow of moisture to the eyes.

Feel free to cry if you do cry. Be natural, allow yourself to cry and they will pass faster. Look at it like a workout. Every time you tried to do something with your feelings, you learned.

To master the art of managing emotions, you need to be patient. Not everything can work out right away. It doesn't matter if you want to learn how to shed tears or vice versa, to hold them back.

Be sure to finish your exercises in positive thoughts, play smile and joy. And the result will come.

It doesn’t hurt any of the spectators to cry over a play or a book, and tears of compassion for living people will only benefit at all. And what to do to stop crying when it is detrimental to yourself and destroys relationships with others?

Anything can make me cry dramatic plot in the cinema to a stray kitten in the next doorway. And when there is also a real reason (for example, from resentment or jealousy) - in general, I can’t calm down for a long time. Sometimes tears turn into hysterics, I start yelling and I stop managing my condition at all. How to stop crying and constantly wind yourself up?

On the causes of tearfulness: you can cry in different ways

The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains that among us there are 5% of people endowed with special sensuality and emotionality. These are the owners for whom the eyes are a particularly sensitive area. It is these people who have "increased tearfulness." But you can cry in different ways: with beneficial or destructive effects on the psyche.

How to stop crying for any reason

By nature, all owners of the visual vector constantly have tears close by. Such people have a huge emotional range, they can subtly feel the state of other people.

Due to such sensuality, it can really provoke tears in them and tragic story love and empathy for the sick. Sometimes it doesn’t even matter whether this story is real or unfolds on the stage - the viewer still reacts emotionally and sensually.

To stop crying completely for the viewer is the same as to stop breathing. His receptive zone (eyes) actually needs such periodic stimulation. The most important thing in this matter is the reason for which tears arise.

When is crying good?

There is nothing shameful in crying to a sensual song or a soulful performance. But by nature, the carrier of the visual vector is given a special emotional susceptibility in order to realize it in empathy and compassion for other people. Those who suffered a real misfortune, who had a real grief.

We can see developed and realized owners of the visual vector among volunteers, in work with seriously ill or disabled people. They help orphanages or are busy delivering humanitarian supplies to countries where there is a war. They are always exactly where their compassion and active assistance to the weak sections of the population are most in demand.

The viewer may well cry from empathy with his neighbor. But these tears are beneficial, and it is not difficult for a person to calm down in such a situation - he will quickly stop crying, switching to real help. Unfortunately, in conditions where the properties of the visual vector are not sufficiently implemented, the situation is different.

When tears are destructive

With a lack of realization, the entire huge emotional range of the viewer is closed in on himself, in his experiences. This gives rise to constant tantrums and emotional swings, makes a person break into tantrums and yell at loved ones. In this state, he sometimes cannot calm down and only winds himself up more and more.

Depending on the additional presence of other vectors, the reason may be torment because of a guy or a girl. A person can cry from jealousy, panic, or maybe from resentment towards loved ones and fate. The reason in all these cases is the same - the emotional range of the viewer is too large to be directed at himself and his troubles.

How to stop crying on a case-by-case basis

So, it doesn't hurt any of the spectators to cry over a performance or a book, and tears of compassion for living people will only benefit at all. And what to do to stop crying when it is detrimental to yourself and destroys relationships with others?

The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan gives the following recommendation to all carriers of the visual vector: sensually focus on the experiences of another person. Not everyone will work with the seriously ill, but there are enough of those who crave your empathy around. It can be a lonely neighbor, a suffering girlfriend, etc. Bringing emotions outward helps the viewer to remove internal emotional swings and tantrums.

What to do to stop crying from resentment

The feeling of resentment is familiar only to the owners. It doesn’t matter if you had resentment because of your beloved guy, or you had a chance to sob from resentment at the villain-fate in general. The main thing is that your natural inner balance is disturbed: the desire for everything to be honest, equally. You tried so hard for people, and in return they did not give you love, attention, respect. There is no way to calm down.

The opposite of resentment is gratitude. Try to focus on those events, people and their actions for which you can truly be grateful to fate. Surely there won't be many of them.

But resentment is a reason to think about how the properties of the anal vector are generally implemented in your case? This is perseverance, attention to detail, analytical warehouse mind, the need for purity and the desire for a family, home comfort, the birth of children.

What to do to stop crying from jealousy

The article was written based on the materials of the training " System-Vector Psychology»

As the ancient said unknown author, the opportunity to cry is not given to us by chance. “A person is like a clear day: a day rarely goes without rain, and we rarely do without tears,” and this is true, because no, no, and treacherous moisture will appear before our eyes for no apparent reason. But it’s one thing to cry for a serious reason, and another thing is when your eyes are constantly “in a wet place”. Why is this happening, how to stop crying over the slightest little thing?

"Why am I crying over trifles?" - surely those who suffer from excessive tearfulness have asked themselves many times. Attempts to deal with this unpleasant character trait lead to an appointment with psychologists, pharmacies for sedatives, but often this helps temporarily or has no result at all. But the reason for frequent crying lies, sometimes, not in apparent nervous disorders but much deeper.

Some statistics and scientific facts about human crying

1. Humanity has not always treated tears unambiguously. Surprisingly, in the ancient rock paintings there is anything, but not scenes where a person is crying. Maybe our ancestors had a more stable psyche? Or was there less reason to “let a tear”? But life ancient man the difficulty is not comparable to ours - sheer stress and the struggle for survival.
2. Most European countries in the Middle Ages, crying was considered shameful and unacceptable. People who did not know how to keep their emotions to themselves were given offensive nicknames; in all languages ​​there are analogues to the words “cry-baby”, “roar-cow”, “slobber”. Even at a funeral, this was considered indecent: relatives and friends of the deceased held back their tears, sobbed and howled for them, demonstrating grief, specially hired groups of “mourners”.
3. About 200 years ago, everything magically changed! Tears have become not only acceptable - they have become fashionable. ladies high society carried special smelling salts with them, which caused irritation in the nose and eyes. And huge handkerchiefs to wipe these tears - a whole industry for their production has opened. The beginning of the 20th century is again a sharp change: crying becomes the lot of weaklings and losers.

1. Who cries the most? Of course, little kids! Restless scientists have recorded that a baby of a month or two years old cries an average of 60 times a month! Why so often? After all, not all of these children have something that hurts. Tears and roars for them are a way to “get through” (actually “yell out”) to their parents, to attract their attention. Hungry, lying uncomfortably, the diaper is already damp, just bored - so the child is crying, bursting into tears. So from birth, the process of crying is fixed subconsciously in a person as the easiest way to communicate.

1. The second interesting statistical figure is about how much men and women cry. It is estimated that the stronger sex does this less often by about 4 times, and male crying lasts much less in time. The statements of venerable psychologists about the greater masculinity of men (supposedly because they cry less) were dispelled by doctors to smithereens. Yes, it’s just that in women, the tear ducts are shorter and wider, which is why their tears come out faster in front of their eyes, and the sobs last longer.
2. If in children the causes of tears in the first places are pain, fatigue and resentment, then in adults there are troubles in relationships with partners, bad news about loved ones, and only then comes fatigue, depression, and pain in general last place. It turns out that children perceive problems more easily psychological nature, they are more resistant to life's troubles. And their parents, on the contrary, react with tears to the fact that crying is often not worth it.

Frequent crying: lies and truth about the benefits and harms of tears

Alas, if doctors cannot cure some anomaly in human body, then they try to explain it by looking at the problem from the other side. typical story such a plan - about frequent crying. In essence, the crafty Aesculapius are trying to convince the crybaby that frequent tears in the eyes are not harmful, but, on the contrary, very useful.

• The fluid released during crying moistens the eyes and protects them from drying out. But who would argue if it were not about a reflex reaction to garbage, wind, chemical stimuli? This is not crying at all, but the result of eye irritation. Why, then, in people who cry very often, the eyes do not shine (in theory, it should be so), but dim, as if they have lost color?

• “Stress hormones” produced during severe grief must be “repaid” with tears. Allegedly, the more you cry when the irreparable happened, the easier it will become. Grief is, excuse me, not a fire that needs to be extinguished, but a black hole where a person sinks deeper and deeper if he is not helped to get out of there. Yes, if the soul asks - you have to cry, but sadness is not treated with despondency and groans, but with joy and laughter.
• Women cry longer and more often, and therefore live longer. I wonder which psychologist was the first to say such nonsense? Women live longer for completely different reasons: their bodies are more adapted to drastic changes climate, severe illness and blood loss is more easily tolerated by them, the recovery period after diseases is shorter. This is because the first purpose of a woman is to give birth to a child, and pregnancy and childbirth are a hell of a burden on the body. The female body is initially more resilient, and the point here is not banal tearfulness.

• During crying, the body is "washed out" harmful substances. Crying is especially useful for young children and nursing mothers. Yeah, and our great-grandmothers, who came up with the saying: “Whatever the child amuses, if only she doesn’t cry!” - were wrong? Infant incessant crying is the cause of umbilical hernia and persistent life-long neuroses at least. And a whining mother who feeds is the first enemy of a baby, stomach problems and sleepless nights are guaranteed to him, any pediatrician will confirm this.
• After tears (their reason is unimportant), relief comes, even some pleasant euphoria. This is in case the reason was positive emotions. For example, after watching a touching movie or when very pleasant memories came flooding back.

In grief, long and frequent crying brings only temporary relief, then depression piles up more strongly.

• Crying normalizes all processes in the body. In fact, American scientists, in collaboration with the Dutch, conducted a global experiment, during which they recorded changes in volunteers, and the results are disappointing. horse racing blood pressure, a drop or a sharp increase in blood sugar levels, an increase in intraocular and intracranial pressure - far from full list troubles that are recorded in crying people.

What to do if tears appear in the eyes every now and then? How to learn to restrain them at least sometimes? Frequent and prolonged crying is harmful to health, which means that we must fight it, but how?

The task is to learn not to cry over every little thing. How to solve it?

Sometimes you can and even need to cry, who argues. If emotions are overflowing, then tears will help to “let off steam”. When (God forbid, but no one is immune from this) relatives die, a spouse leaves, they are fired from work for no reason - tears themselves appear in the eyes, impotence leans heavily on the soul. Yes, you can cry, but not for long, you need to pull yourself together and try to drive away sadness. How to deal with permanent tearfulness?

1. If, in addition to constantly “wet” eyes, there is strong irritability, unreasonable aggression, chronic fatigue- immediately to a neurologist or a psychologist, or better, to both at once! There is a strong neurosis, most likely chronic. Sometimes it is possible to get rid of neurosis on your own by arranging an unscheduled long rest. It did not help - running to the doctors.

1. Bouts of gluttony or an abnormally reduced appetite, headache, insomnia - a whole series of warning signs of serious health problems, if all this is "plus" to frequent tears. Hormonal imbalance or disruption endocrine system- again, the doctor will help to establish the cause.
2. Continuous crying, when, it would seem, it is necessary to laugh from happiness. For example, such a situation: the mother of one of the newlyweds is crying every now and then, and is not happy about their long-awaited wedding. There was a so-called "substitution of emotions": the brain was overloaded strong feelings, as a result nervous system“confusing” positive emotions with bad ones. Here the help of relatives is required: they must explain that there are no reasons for tears, everything is wonderful. Even the constant presence of happy relatives nearby (without persuasion on their part), their joyful faces - this will work like a balm.
3. Doesn't get out of my head serious problem, constantly pulls on tears. It is especially dangerous when a person cries alone! Yes, it is not always pleasant for others and relatives to be a “sad pillow”, but for sure there is someone who will at least listen! Or maybe he will advise something sensible, or will significantly help. “Speak out” does not mean only throwing out at someone negative emotions but also to find a way to solve the problem or at least get comfort.

1. You have been severely offended, and you have to cross paths with this person very often. He feels his impunity, smiles nastily at the sight of you, and you are about to cry from impotence. And you ... imagine him naked! Tears will blow away from your face like the wind, they will be replaced by a desire to at least smile maliciously, at most - to laugh homeric.
2. Physiological way to interrupt the attack of crying. As soon as you feel that tears are ready to splash from your eyes, take a few breaths in and out. Inhalations and exhalations should not be very deep, but long: inhaling and exhaling too vigorously and deeply, you can provoke dizziness. With increased tearfulness, it is worth carrying cool water with you in a thermos, and taking a few sips during bouts of crying. At American psychologists there is a term - "half a liter to the cooler." They advise so much cold water have it with you, drink it in small sips; while you drink half a liter, you will find another cooler.

Or maybe everything is simple, and there is no reason for tears, although, in your opinion, it exists?

• God bless him, with an unfaithful husband, let him go to hell, life does not end there! Or how about a famous comedian? “My wife left for another man, explain to me why I should feel sorry for this strange man?”
• Fired from work - and you really recent times Have you thought about finding another one? Even if it seems like a disaster, crying is corny unconstructive, it is much more useful to start looking for a new job.
• Not enough money - but no one will steal and will not demand your fabulous income as a ransom. Headache, what to buy: "Peugeot" or "Renault" is also not your lot. And besides jokes - you should not cry, but put your hands on your feet and look for work! Even sweeping the street is more fun than counting spiders on the ceiling at home.
• There is no joy lately at all... Do you live in the desert, on an island in the ocean, in a deep dungeon? Not? Then why are you whimpering into your pillow instead of enjoying life?

A person is a social being, by his behavior he not only forms his mental well-being, but also raises (or lowers) the mood of those around him. Frequent causeless tears will push friends away, spoil health, because of them everything can “collapse”. Human life is essentially a struggle, one must fight for one's own happiness and for the happiness of loved ones, smiling and remaining strong in spirit.