A person who is humiliated must learn to love and respect himself, get rid of fear when communicating with others, form correct representation about the world, to learn to live in harmony with other people and, most importantly, with oneself. The victim of a cruel environment should learn to find right decisions all problem situations.
The main thing is to understand yourself
To begin with, it is necessary to understand that each person is unique. You need to reveal your individual data, knowing yourself and the world. You should learn to respect yourself and never allow anyone to attack you.
To understand why others, it is worth conducting introspection. It is necessary to identify those character traits that provoke others to the manifestation of aggression. As a rule, they are weakness of character, fear of communication, excessive manifestation of kindness.
Good relationships with others are possible with right attitude to himself. You can not engage in self-humiliation in front of superiors, loved ones or because of the benefits. We must strive to achieve internal agreement with ourselves and stop perceiving others as a source of threat.
Who becomes the abuser?
A truly strong nature will not stoop to the humiliation of a person. It is usually an aggressive coward who slanders and mocks. In order for the offender not to become inflamed, he should not feel the presence of fear in front of him. In a collision, you need to remain calm and reasonable. After all, people who have peace of mind transmit positive impulses to others.
What to do so that others do not humiliate?
In order for others to stop humiliating, you need to engage in self-development. And be sure to develop the ability to control your thoughts and emotions. We must learn to win, to grow our self-esteem. Do not always depend on the opinions of others.
Any aggression should be reacted as calmly as possible. A violent reaction to the behavior of the offender shows him that he was able to hurt the living, so he will feel superior. It is better to correctly put it in its place and leave. And in the future, avoid communicating with them or ignore all his attacks, showing him that no one is interested in his opinion.
AT dangerous situation it is necessary to make it clear that there will always be opposition to any force - retaliatory aggression on the part of the offended or the sanctions of the boss or the actions of the police. It is worth calmly expressing your threats to the offender, explaining that it is last warning. The aggressor must be reminded that everyone has the right to defend their dignity.
Feeling humiliated for a long time, a person loses self-esteem, her level of self-esteem falls. When communicating with other people, she has nervous tension. Any comments are perceived by her painfully.
Real help in an unpleasant situation, when others are humiliated, will be provided by professional psychologist. He will teach you how to manage emotions, explain how to communicate with people, help get rid of unnecessary fears, dependence on the opinions of others and indecision.
Methods of self-affirmation depend on the nature, capabilities and abilities of a person. Protection from humiliation is a full-fledged internal state of a person: self-respect, endurance, humor. Humiliate those who have low self-esteem.
Self-hate arises for the following reasons:
- because of too strict upbringing;
- due to low socio-economic status;
- with neurotic disorders;
- due to cultural traditions social group to which the person belongs.
The humiliation of others, as a rule, leaves psychological trauma, which negatively affects the character and life of the offended. No need to humiliate yourself in front of people and you should not feel sorry for yourself. You need to work on yourself, love and respect yourself as a person, increase self-confidence, the elements of which can be:
- physical qualities;
- traits;
- relationships with others.
Much in this world depends not only on internal state person, but also appearance. As Anton Pavlovich Chekhov wrote: “Everything in a person should be beautiful: face, clothes, soul, and thoughts.” Therefore, it is worth working on your wardrobe, hair and maybe makeup. But it is worth doing this not in order to please your surroundings, but in order to become an attractive person for yourself.
A healthy psyche, creative actions, the development of abilities and talents, the need for self-knowledge and the pursuit of excellence give a person the strength to resist humiliation and any offensive actions of those around him.
This is one of the first desires that arise after an insult. But a retaliatory attack is appropriate only if it:
- witty;
- takes place in the circle of relatives or friends;
- defuse the situation rather than exacerbate the conflict.
In all other cases, even if you consider yourself a wit worse than Oscar Wilde, answering an insult with an insult is not best way out. So you sink to the level of a boorish opponent and make it clear that his words hurt you, that is, there may be some truth in them.
2. Make a joke
Difference between witty insult and the joking response that in the second case you are making fun of the situation itself. The advantages of this strategy are obvious: the insult loses its toxicity, tension, and the audience (if any) takes your side.
In this case, you can also take a pseudo-self-deprecating position. This will confuse your opponent and mask the sarcasm.
Example 1: A colleague says you've prepared an ugly presentation.
Answer: You are probably right. Next time, I won't ask my five-year-old son for help."
Example 2: unfamiliar person calls you.
Answer: Thank you very much. valuable information. You opened my eyes to my shortcomings. Something to think about over lunch."
3. Accept
In some cases, it is really worth analyzing words that seem offensive to you. Especially if they come from people close and respected by you. In this case, take their remarks not as an insult, but as criticism that can make you better.
It would be useful to think about the motives of people, to find out what exactly made them use harsh language. Perhaps this is a violent reaction to your far from angelic behavior.
4. Respond to intent, not words
Any insult always has a hidden purpose. Make the secret clear: designate it.
For example, in response to rude words, say: “Wow! Something really serious happened between us, since you decided to hurt me.
So, on the one hand, you can unsettle your opponent, and on the other hand, find out the reason for his negative attitude.
5. Keep calm
If the insult comes not from a loved one, but from a colleague, acquaintance, or even a stranger, never show that the words hurt you. Most likely, behind them lies uncertainty, dissatisfaction own life and the desire to just win back on you. Don't let the trick work, react calmly and with a smile.
If necessary, continue to bend your line: ask what exactly caused such a reaction in a person, not paying attention to his words.
6. Ignore
Often the best answer is its absence. If we are talking about Internet trolls, you can simply not respond to their comments or send boors to . Well, "in offline mode" you can always skip the insult past your ears or leave. You have every right to do so.
An example from ancient Roman history... Once, in the public baths, someone hit the politician Cato. When the offender came to apologize, Cato replied: "I don't remember the blow."
This phrase can be interpreted as follows: "You are so insignificant that not only do I not care about your apology, but I did not even notice the insult itself."
7. Use the law
You can hold the offender accountable, or at least threaten him with it. The punishment for insult is spelled out in the Code of administrative offenses, but libel is already in the scope of criminal law. In case of insults from the boss, you can contact the personnel department.
The main thing - remember: no one has the right to encroach on your honor, dignity and reputation. But you must respond to people in the same way. Otherwise, any recommendations are meaningless.
Any of us sometimes has to deal with human rudeness and listen to offensive words and expressions addressed to us. Someone has a tense situation at home, while someone is very unlucky with work, where a scandalous atmosphere prevails, ready at any moment to explode with a stream of abuse and insults. So how to respond to rudeness and rudeness?
Why is it necessary to respond to rudeness, and not be silent?
Psychologists have established that every aggressive trick from the outside gives rise to normal person auto-aggression, eventually resulting in a depressive mood, decreased performance, low self-esteem, etc. Such a reaction of the body does not bring anything good with it, and, therefore, you need to learn effective protection from manifestations of alien aggression and the correct reaction to it.
Reasons for rude behavior
One of the most common causes gross attacks on a person is his underdeveloped. Such people are much more likely to become victims of rudeness than strong and self-confident individuals. Hams and brutes differ quite well developed flair and will never contact someone who can give them a decent answer.
If in front of them is a person from a different category, then why not amuse yourself and say something rude to him. Most often, the following types of people fall into the number of offended:
- highly cultured and brought up in the old traditions;
- having low self-esteem;
- trying to avoid conflict situations;
- with high feeling guilt;
- afraid of hurting and offending other people.
In this situation, the reaction to rudeness can be different, but you should first work on your own so as not to be a constant victim of poorly educated citizens. gaining inner strength forever relieve third-party aggression, because the strong man cannot be attacked.
Rudeness, vulgarity, swearing, insults and other impartial things are a widespread and depressing phenomenon, an ineradicable evil in the modern world.
While most people strive to be polite, tactful, and courteous to each other, there are times in life when when you just can't get away from rudeness. The correct response to aggression from the outside can help not only to curb the rude, but also to maintain own self-esteem. Let's try to answer the question - how to respond to an insult funny and sarcastic?
Rudeness and rudeness are common in a number of various reasons starting from the banal bad mood and ending with a whole list personality traits. Basically, people are impudent and rude to others because:
- Do not experience satisfaction from life;
- They have an inferiority complex, groundless arrogance and egocentrism;
- Have low level culture and education;
- They want to provoke someone to exchange insults due to their aggressive nature.
Unhappy, embittered, squeezed, but at the same time ambitious and vain people are the main generators of rudeness in society. Deliberate neglect of others, the conflicting nature of character, primitive consciousness - all this can seriously ruin the life of balanced and well-mannered people.
How to respond to insults?
Suppose the rude person still does not let up and continues to lead his “opponent” out of peace of mind. It is by no means possible to stoop to his level and start a response tirade saturated with sophisticated insults. How, then, to besiege the lover of insults?
Important! Rude - always weak and insecure person who is very afraid of being worse than others. This is an axiom that should always be kept in mind in the event of a verbal conflict.
Ignoring
Silence is not only gold, but also the most popular way to deal with rudeness.
Defiantly ignoring various impudent "cattle" can be effective only in the case of absolute equanimity.
No touchy looks, tired sighs and similar reactions! For successfully ignoring insults it is necessary to show the rude that he is an empty place.
calmness
If the previous tactic did not have the desired effect, and the flow of insults continues to spoil the mood of others, then during the “conversation” with rude people, you should try to maintain self-control and not show your confusion.
A frank and firm position expressed calm and confident tone, often acts on the "bazaar boor" as if cold water. Being energy vampires at its core, brawlers draw inspiration from weak, pliable and nervous people. Icy calm drives the rude into a stupor, because he expects the opposite reaction.
You to me, I to you
You can use the method of transferring the negativity of the interlocutor to him. Whatever he says, full agreement with his remarks and gratitude for identifying “flaws” will put the rude out of action. After all, he is waiting for a sharp disagreement with his attacks, how can this be ?!
However, calm phrases like "thank you for valuable advice”, “take note” and other similar options can shut up the source of insults. This method works best in public, because a rude person is unlikely to receive any support from outside, and may even be ridiculed.
Sneeze
If ignoring did not help, and the boor continues to pour insulting remarks, you can let him do this until he believes that he is right.
And then sneeze, pause, and say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to that kind of nonsense."
Similar replica will cause confusion, and can reduce the flow of insults to nothing.
What to do if a loved one or colleague is being rude?
A stranger who decides to assert himself with the help of insults at someone else's expense does not deserve attention and deserves only to be ignored. But in the case of people who make up a permanent social circle, this method will not work. Therefore, with rudeness coming from relatives and friends, it is necessary to immediately deal with and clarify all uncomfortable topics.
Another thing is people who, by the will of fate, are colleagues (classmates, fellow students, regular visitors to any institutions).
Important! Gently avoiding the exchange of insults is the first step that almost every sane person takes.
If silent ignorance only provokes a rude man, then you can present him in the form of a capricious small child attracting attention with various boorish phrases. After all, no one will take seriously, albeit rude, but not aware of his behavior, the baby?
Thus, ignoring will help not only to gain protection from all kinds of insults, but also to improve your own mood. Moreover, the rude person will somehow notice the shown stamina, which later may positive side affect his behaviour.
And yet silent ignoring does not always lead to successful settlement of the conflict. sometimes worth it pluck up courage and fend off the brute. For this, the phrases “Who allowed you to talk to people like that?”, And also “You will talk in this tone with your wife / husband” will do quite well. Most often, such remarks are enough to indicate to the rude man who is who.
When is the best time to ignore insults?
Rendering resistance to rude people is sometimes a deliberately meaningless exercise.
Provocations organized on the streets, in shops and other public places best to just ignore it.
In principle, a person cannot be liked by everyone, therefore the most advantageous move in such a situation is demonstrative ignoring.
In addition, there is a risk of meeting unstable and inadequate rude people. When exhausting your meager vocabulary they can easily go from simple insults to physical violence. In order not to suffer in a fight, it is best not to enter into any conversations with such rude people and to retire with dignity from the “battlefield”.
How to respond to insults?
Respond nicely to insults
Polite communication discourages rude people, because they do not expect such an unusual reaction. For example, the phrase "Dear, I'm not going to talk to you in that tone" or "Dear, you probably confused me with someone else" can cool the boorish ardor.
Other similar remarks demonstrating good manners and education: "Rudeness does not paint you", "Thank you for showing interest in me", "Don't be upset, you will still succeed."
If this does not work, it is best to say goodbye to the "interlocutor" and leave.
Smart responses to insults
You can ask leading questions that a rude person probably won't be able to answer. Best variants of similar phrases: “Why do you want to hurt me?”, “What do you really want from me?”, “Which answer will suit you, polite or truthful?” etc.
witty answers
Owners sharp mind can build a good line of conduct with ill-mannered people.
Responding to criticism with various funny remarks, you can not only beautifully put a person in his place, but also cause general laughter under certain circumstances.
They do this job well following remarks: “Didn’t you scare Babayka as a child?”, “I’m not interested in what you think of me, but I’m glad that you know how to think”, “Go, vacuum the desert!”, “My main drawback is the inability to communicate with rude people "," Do I look like a dentist? Then please shut your mouth."
Shyness and shyness are real food for quarrelsome and scandalous personalities, and ignoring them cannot always improve the situation. It is worth remembering this in right moments to overcome oneself, giving a worthy rebuff to various manifestations of human baseness.
In the life of every person it happened at least once to listen to insults. Intentionally or through negligence, but desecrated dignity and honor! Insult carries a surge negative emotions caused by various factors. Knowing these reasons, you can competently respond to an insult or respond correctly to it. People have different manifestations certain emotions, but it is not always possible to restrain such manifestations. And then, in a rough form, is given negative evaluation personality. But if you know how to properly respond to insults, then the offender himself will be the victim.
Why do people turn to insults?
Before reacting to insults and starting to respond to them, you need to determine what caused the aggression.
- Self-assertion. By insulting an opponent, a person thereby wants to exalt himself. Aggression is a sign internal fears, experiences, complexes and self-doubt. Therefore, wanting to increase self-esteem, a person resorts to various kinds of insults. You should show pity to such a person and make it clear that he will not be established at your expense.
- Outburst of emotions. Sometimes a person accumulates too much negativity. And get under hot hand This is an opportunity to hear a lot about yourself. In this case, the person later apologizes himself, he only needs help to calm down.
- Public play. Such people receive a huge energy boost from scandals in public. The main thing here is to let the person understand that you are not the hero of his action comedy. To remain indifferent in this case means to remain a winner.
- Upbringing. More precisely, its absence. Causes aggressive behavior go to early childhood characterized by permissiveness and indulgence. To an ill-mannered person- just a squeamish attitude.
- Bad day or Monday syndrome. In the life of every person there are Mondays, and not necessarily on the first day of the week. A hard day is accompanied emotional disorders, which provokes the release of the negative accumulated during the day to the outside. The best way is to say that you understand what caused the aggression, and ask the person not to take out the negative on you.
- Rivalry. It gives rise to the strongest insults, discrediting honor and dignity. It is impossible to ignore such insults, it is necessary to give a person a worthy rebuff.
The reaction to an insult also depends on who the offender is.
- Husband/wife, relative. If these are people from the inner circle, then you need to try as much as possible to keep between you warm relationship. Family quarrels are temporary and are accompanied by accumulated claims and are resolved at a round table.
- Friend. If a friend did this, then you should definitely find out the reason that prompted him to insult. As soon as the details come up, you will have to decide: to forgive or is it better to refuse such a friend ?!
- Boss. Insults from superiors are heard by most office workers. This is either a form of communication, or personal hostility. In any case, the first is self-recognised, but the second needs to be found out. But you should never react violently to the aggression of the boss. You can imagine him in funny and ridiculous situations or just use a smile, this will give confidence. The boss will see your resilience and recognize your psychological advantage.
- Unfamiliar people. Here is a great opportunity to show calmness, upbringing and intelligence.
How to correctly respond to an insult in various situations?
- Have you encountered a troll? The best weapon against him is to ignore. The "trolls" aggressive attack is a way of life. Therefore, in order to prevent them from bringing discord into society, it is enough just to ignore them or direct all the power of the intellect to them. For example, you can answer that you would say a lot, but you are worried that it is unlikely that his limited mind will realize and accept this information.
- Unfounded criticism of your work. Thank the person for their opinion and say what it means that others will definitely like it.
- Appearance criticism. Appearance-related remarks can seriously damage self-esteem if taken to heart. To the attack: "What bruises under your eyes! Just terrible!", You can answer that this is a consequence of a stormy night, adding a satisfied smile.
- Notes on clothing. Such injections often concern the financial situation of your family or you personally and can be very hurtful. To the statement: “You dress only in cheap stores!”, you can answer that any thing looks beautiful and profitable on your figure.
