How to avoid conflict. Conflict Resolution Styles

Instruction

Avoid conflict in different situations succeeds in different ways. It can be conditionally divided into two types. The first type of conflict arises in the case of a dispute over a certain thing, value, feeling. Thus, he is involved in regardless of his desire, since he is interested in the subject of the dispute. For example, such a situation can develop with the so-called love.

In such situations, avoid conflict, as you are interested in resolving the dispute in your favor. Therefore, it is necessary to defuse the situation as much as possible, but in no case to heat it up. Give reasons in your favor. Be confident and defend your point of view calmly. Respond calmly and unobtrusively to provocations from your opponent. When deciding life situations act in the same way, imposing your "imprint". Try to get other people on your side. Prove that you are more worthy than your opponent.

The second type of conflict is provocation by a potential offender. A person pursuing his goals will try to put pressure on you with his provocations. Such people subconsciously look for the reason for their actions in the mistakes of others. "I hit him because he said bad things about me." At the same time, without saying that the reason for " bad review"Served as a provocation on the part of the offender.

To resolve such a conflict requires iron endurance. Pay no attention to provocations. Be silent once again so that there is no conflict. Remember that your goal is to avoid conflict. Imagine yourself in a place, think positive. Do not listen to arguments and words that provoke you. You must create for yourself a situation in which there is no place for a provocateur. He just isn't there for you. Avoidance does not always lead to positive results. It is better to be drawn into a conflict once than to try to avoid it ten times. You will be wasting your time and in vain.

Sources:

Ways to prevent conflict, How to avoid conflictogens

rare family can boast of cloudless relationships throughout their married life. Causes for petty quarrels, and even major conflicts, from time to time arise even between truly loving people. This is a reality, and no one is immune from family troubles. The main thing is to find ways for reconciliation as soon as possible.

Instruction

When clarifying the relationship, give only those arguments that caused the conflict in this situation. No need to remember the previous faults of your other half. For example, if you are annoyed that your spouse turned on the sound of the TV too loudly, then say it directly. You should not generalize: “You are doing everything to harm me, today the TV is yelling at full power, and the day before yesterday you didn’t take out the trash on time!” Such statements will not lead to anything good, but will only add fuel to the flames of the flaring conflict.

Never get personal. Turning on the TV loudly is not a reason to accuse your loved one of being rude, selfish,. Do not mention in the analysis the reasons for the conflict of relatives and friends of your other half. “You turn on the TV loudly because your mother raised you badly!” Such a phrase is completely useless and can serve as a reason for a long hidden resentment in the soul of your soulmate.

The best way to avoid conflict in such a situation is to reasonably explain to the other person why you do not like his actions. “Darling, please turn down the sound of the TV. I want to sleep (read, work, etc.), and it really bothers me.” Refuse to polite request your spouse is unlikely to be able to, and there will be no reason for a quarrel. The best way avoid conflicts - do not give a reason for their occurrence. Politeness and mutual respect are the foundation of a strong family.

Instruction

Don't provoke. If you know that a person is a boor and a squabbler, it’s better to stay away from him, once again not with him, communicate only when necessary. Thus, you will reduce the chances that the conflicter will cling to you.

If trouble nevertheless happened, and the person dragged you into a conflict situation, in no case do not stoop to his level. In practice, this can be quite difficult to do, but if in response to or swearing at you, you act In a similar way, you will lose face, which is what your opponent is trying to achieve. Keep a low profile, don't raise or yell.

In the event that your enemy has crossed all sorts of boundaries, insulting you, in no case be silent. Say that talking in this tone is unacceptable, and you continue the conversation until he apologizes. Ignore all further it completely - until you receive an apology.

Think about the goals of the person with whom you often conflict situations. Most likely, he does not do this for the sake of art: a colleague may call you to a scandal in order to make you appear unrestrained and in the eyes of management, and the mother-in-law may “cling” you because it seems to her that you do not respect her enough. If you find where the legs of the conflict grow from, you can stop it.

After each conflict situation, analyze your behavior. It is possible that in some way you caused the conflict, without noticing it yourself. This should be done after you have stopped burning with righteous indignation and can look at the situation objectively. Try to look at it "from the outside", and perhaps you will see some of your own mistakes, which can be avoided in the future.

What is conflict

AT modern psychology there are many various definitions this concept. But they all suggest that conflict is the most acute phase of resolving various contradictions. They arise in the process of interaction and consist in the opposition of the participants in the situation, accompanying it. negative emotions. Most scientists focus on the inconsistency of the goals and interests of the subjects of the disagreement that has arisen.

There is a definition of contradiction as a speech action, where three stages of the struggle of interests are distinguished, the result of which is a conflict:

differences of opinion;
contradiction in dialogues;
direct struggle, expressed in conflicts of actions.

Thus, conflict prevention means the absence of any speech acts aimed at causing damage of any kind to the other party.

Essence of the conflict

In order for conflict prevention to be sufficiently effective, it is necessary to understand what is the essence of the contradiction, which has four characteristics;

structure;
dynamics;
function;
control.

The structure of the conflict consists of:

object (subject of dispute);
subjects (individuals, groups or organizations);
flow conditions;
scale;
strategies and tactics of behavior of the subjects of the situation;
outcome.

The psychology of conflict involves a dynamic process that consists of the following steps:

subject situation when objective reasons for conflict;
conflict interaction, where the incident itself occurs;
conflict resolution, which can be full or partial.

Conflict performs various functions, and some of them are quite important for effective interaction sides:

dialectical, implying the identification of the causes of conflict interaction;
constructive, suggesting the direction of the tension caused by the situation that has arisen, to achieve the goal;
destructive, when various personal and emotional colors relationships.

The regulation of the conflict comes down, in fact, to the ability to manage it. Management, in turn, is divided into external and internal. In the first case, control over the situation is entrusted to the leader, in the second, personal control of one's behavior is necessary.

The main stages of conflict situations

The reasons for disagreements can be very different, but common to all of them are the stages of the emergence and resolution of the dispute. So, the stages of the conflict are as follows:

the moment of the emergence of a conflict situation, which can be provoked by one or several people;
awareness of the current situation, expressed in a change in mood and various critical statements about the opponent;
open confrontation, when the parties proceed to active actions in order to inflict offense or other moral damage to the enemy;
awareness by the opponent of the conflict situation and the beginning of response actions;
the development of a conflict when certain demands are put forward;
the ending of disagreements through requests, conversations or administrative methods, consisting in a court decision, dismissal, etc.

As you can see, these stages of the conflict go from one to another, regardless of the type of disagreement that has arisen.

Outcomes

Exist different variants conflict resolution:

withdrawal from it, when one of the parties does not notice or pretends not to notice the disagreements that have arisen;
smoothing out contradictions, when one of the subjects of the conflict either agrees with the claims made by the other party, or justifies himself;
compromise, when both parties make mutual concessions in order to resolve differences;
an increase in tension, when the beginning of the conflict is of a particularly sharp nature and turns into a serious confrontation, not limited in time;
suppression of the conflict by force, when one of the parties or both subjects is forced to accept a certain point of view.

Types of conflicts

The psychology of conflict involves its division into types depending on the basis. So, the basis for the selection in separate type may be the following factors:

sources of occurrence;
social consequences;
scale;
forms of struggle;
subject tactics.

Also, conflicts are divided into two types in relation to a separate subject:

internal;
external.

The internal conflict involves the contradiction of the desires of one person, and the external one - the disagreement between him and environment. The nature of the external conflict, in turn, can be interpersonal, intergroup, or such that arose between the individual and the group.

Interpersonal conflict is the most common and consists in a clash of interests. various persons. Intergroup, as a rule, occurs in working atmosphere when the interests of small groups are opposed. As for the conflict between the individual and the group, this kind of disagreement is also characteristic of the business sphere, when the interests of the organization are contrary to the interests of the individual.

In addition to such disagreements, there are many others: family, teenage, personal or generational conflict. In each of these situations, problems arise with the closest people, which means that everything must be done to prevent this.

Family conflicts

Unfortunately, despite all efforts, conflicts in the family are inevitable. And the point here is not that people do not like each other, just not everyone knows how to resolve differences peacefully.

Conflicts in the family can be between spouses, between children, between parents and children, between spouses and their parents - there are many options. However, the question arises: why do some couples live happily ever after, while others become enemies and part forever? It's all about people's attitude to the current situation. The subject of the conflict can inflate the scandal by increasing its scale, but it is in his power to end it without great moral losses.

In order for a conflict situation to arise, the slightest reason is enough. Sometimes it becomes like a game of table tennis, when partners throw mutual accusations at each other, like a ball in a game. This can go on for quite a long time, it all depends on the desire and ability of the parties to make trouble.

In fact, there are many ways to keep the peace in the family. For example, if frequent contentions began to appear not so long ago, you can try to express your claim and ask your spouse to voice it in their own words. Psychologists say that most of the problems in couples arise due to a misinterpretation of the words of their half. Having tried this method, you will quickly see that the essence of the conflict has no basis.

If the cause of disagreement is a mismatch in desires, take a piece of paper and write down what you would like to do. It is desirable that the list contains at least 5 items. Then compare your desires and try to deduce from them something common for both. You will be surprised how effective this method is.

However, it is worth remembering that, regardless of the cause of disagreement, the main thing is to find out its cause. Conflict prevention is about listening and hearing each other. In addition, it is necessary to voice your desires, not expecting that they will be guessed by your spouse. If you follow these two rules, the number of conflict situations in family life will be kept to a minimum.

The problem of fathers and children

In modern society, there are three main directions: older, mature and young. The conflict of generations is a normal component of the relationship between older and younger.

As for the discussion of this type of disagreement, the transition to microlevels is inevitable here, when such situations become commonplace in any average family where the views of parents differ from those of children or teenagers. However, different worldviews do not necessarily lead to conflict situations.

How to avoid generation gap? The only way out from this situation is the acceptance of the views of the other side, mutual respect and tolerance. For example, pensioners, having ceased to perform their daily professional duties, find themselves in a difficult psychological situation when they need the help and support of loved ones.
Adolescents, in turn, are at an age when categorical and complete denial of the opinions of adults for them - normal phenomenon. Between pensioners and youth stand mature people who may also suffer from different views on the lives of their parents or children. AT this case each party must be tolerant of and respect the opinions of others. Only such mutual understanding can be the answer to the question of how to avoid conflict between different generations.

Teenage conflicts

AT adolescence, which is considered one of the most difficult periods, conflicts occupy special place, being an integral part social life. Adolescent conflicts arise not only in relationships with parents, but also when communicating with peers. Often it is the difficult relationships of the child with his comrades that become a serious cause for parental concern. At this time, adults are required to make every effort to help the teenager avoid communication difficulties. There are several rules, the observance of which can help to avoid such situations and help the teenager most painlessly move on to the next stage of life. So, if your goal is to prevent conflicts, you are required to:

Don't blame the teenager for everything. It is on this life stage are crucial to him. trusting relationship with adults. Therefore, it is extremely important that the child knows that he can trust you in any situation, without fear of accusations against him.
Find out the reason for the disagreement. Find out from the child all the details of what happened before drawing conclusions. If a teenager withdraws into himself, you should talk to school teachers and find out the cause of the problem.
Realize that parental intervention is not always beneficial. If a we are talking about a quarrel between best friends who can swear several times a day, and sometimes it comes to a fight, then adult intervention will only have negative result. Before making a decision to help a child, find out all the details of what happened.
Show no indifference. Not always the position of an outside observer is beneficial. For example, if your child has serious problems with peers who do not accept him in their circle, this can lead to serious psychological problems in future. Such a situation should be taken under control as early as possible, finding out the reasons for such behavior.

Your benevolent attitude and tolerance are crucial in the painless resolution of teenage conflicts.

Personality Conflicts

Particularly common are personal conflicts that can arise both between colleagues and between people related to each other by various social connections. They, as a rule, appear due to the impossibility of accepting the point of view, ideology, value system and other attitudes of the enterprise. Disagreements may also arise between employees due to the incompatibility of their characters and other psychological characteristics.

The main quality that helps in overcoming such situations is tolerance towards the opinions of others. It is necessary to realize that no one is obliged to share your point of view, because each person has personal opinion. Awareness this fact makes it easier to perceive personal differences.

Conflict Resolution Styles

Depending on the goals and interests of the subjects of the conflict situation, the following styles of its resolution are distinguished:

Competition is one of the toughest options for resolving conflict situations. Suitable for people seeking to solve the problem in the first place to satisfy their own interests. The style is most acceptable in cases where the subject of the conflict is an employee of the organization, and the resolution of the situation is in the competence of the leader. In this case, it is competition that will teach employees to obey, and also help restore faith in the success of the enterprise in a difficult situation.
Evasion - is expressed in too long postponing a decision under various pretexts. It leads to the fact that the situation only becomes more complicated over time, so this style is the least preferred.
Adaptation - implies orientation to the behavior of others and unwillingness to defend own interests. The result of choosing this style of conflict resolution is a concession to the requirements of the opponent and the recognition of his rightness.
Cooperation - involves solving the problem in one's favor, taking into account the interests of the other side. This is the most acceptable resolution style social conflicts because it is the key to maintaining peaceful relations in the future.
compromise based on mutual concessions both sides. It is suitable for situations where the goals of the parties coincide, only the ways to achieve them differ. This style conflict resolution is often the best option for participants.

The main ways to resolve conflict situations

All methods of conflict resolution that exist today can be divided into two categories. large groups: negative and positive.

Negative means the struggle for their own interests, main goal which is a change in the conflict situation. This can be achieved in various ways:

affecting the other side;
changing the balance of power;
using both truthful and false information about an opponent for their own purposes;
correctly assessing the other side and its capabilities.

This method of resolving the conflict is quite aggressive and often leads to a violation of unity between the parties in the future. That is why, as far as possible, it should be avoided.

Positive ways of resolving conflicts involve negotiating to determine the most optimal solution to the situation. They, as a rule, require concessions from the subjects and lead to partial satisfaction of the interests of the parties.

Thus, there are many ways to resolve conflict situations, but the best way is to prevent it.

How to avoid conflicts

The most common reason for this kind of disagreement is the excessive emotionality of a person. If your goal is to prevent conflicts, you should learn:

calmness and stress resistance, thanks to which you can calmly assess the current situation;
keep your emotions under control in order to be able to convey arguments to your opponent as efficiently as possible;
listen and pay attention to the words and manifestation of the feelings of others;
realize the right of each person to resolve this or that situation in his own way;
do not use offensive words and do not act in order to humiliate the opponent.

Following these rules will help to avoid the occurrence of various conflict situations, and therefore the need to look for the best way out of them.

Should conflicts always be avoided?

A conflict situation is always a clash of interests. Such a confrontation assumes that each of the parties will try to defend their desires and point of view, which will inevitably lead to different kind disagreements. Of course, it's hard to argue with the fact that a bad world is better. good quarrel, and it is better to remain silent somewhere than to provoke a scandal.

But if you look at the situation from the other side, it turns out that conflicts are of some benefit. For example, they help to see existing problems in a new light. This applies to both personal and business relationships. Expressing your opinion is always better than silently experiencing your own dissatisfaction. In personal relationships, such silence will sooner or later lead to a large-scale scandal that can end in a complete separation of people. It concerns couples, friends and even parents and children. No person can silently endure discontent all his life, sooner or later it will come out. The later this happens, the worse the consequences will be. That is why the periodic occurrence of conflict situations will avoid global problems in relationship. However, it must be borne in mind that it is necessary to resolve them correctly so that they do not drag on and do not become a habitual way of life.

Concerning business relations, conflicts of various kinds also allow you to see the problems existing in the team, the solution of which should be started as early as possible.

When people live for years without a conflict situation, this indicates a lack of closeness between them and indifference to each other. No one can read another person's mind and fully live up to his expectations. Therefore, it is imperative to pronounce your desires, even if this leads to a small conflict. The desire to negotiate and solve the problem peacefully will improve relations, instead of causing harm.

However, too much disagreement is also not an indicator of a healthy relationship, so conflict prevention is sometimes the best way solving the situation.

A variety of quarrels and unspoken grievances seriously spoil our mood and relationships with others. How to avoid conflicts, can this be learned? Constantly radiating positive is not so easy, because at every step we are lured by unpleasant surprises and attacks from other people. But fighting all this negativity is simply vital.

Why is it so important to stop swearing?

The main reason why you should think about how you can avoid conflicts is your own mental health. Think back to the last fight you ever had. Dissatisfied skeptical statements quickly turn into real cries. But now you and your opponent have already parted ways, and you are shaking for another good half an hour. It’s impossible to focus on anything, and all that remains is to scroll through all the insults received in your head and think which of them are well-deserved. But indeed, if someone around you constantly treats you with disdain, over time, self-esteem can significantly decrease. Have you ever seen husbands who have been sawed for years by their wives or work colleagues who are hesitant to take on serious projects because the boss constantly says that they are too tough for them? Surely a bad world is better colorful war. It is always good to have a polite neutrality or benevolent relationship with everyone you know, rather than making enemies. And this is the second reason why, before open confrontation better situation not bring.

Learning to understand and respect

The universal advice on how to avoid conflicts is to learn to respect everyone around you. It doesn't matter who is in front of you: a homeless person trying to beg for alms or the head of a large company. Each of them is a person, and if you have to speak, maintain a friendly tone of communication. Often conflicts stem from misunderstandings. Listen carefully to your opponent, do not interrupt, ask additional and clarifying questions. If you think that the interlocutor is wrong, or says some kind of nonsense, briefly retell everything that you understood from what you heard, ask again if this is what he wanted to say. Never take information critically, remember that everyone has the right to their own opinion.

Never be the first to fight

Think about how often you provoke conflicts? In order to start a quarrel, sometimes one careless word is enough. If you provoke openly, instigating the interlocutor with statements that offend him personally or the beliefs that he has, it's time to seriously think about your behavior. Perhaps you need a personalized "How to avoid conflict" memo. Remember that it is always easier to smooth the situation, quarrels are not useful, you need to be able to achieve your goals through peace.

Think positive, wish well

Never accumulate evil within yourself. A popular advice from psychologists on how to avoid conflict at work or at home is to simply remain silent. In practice, it really often works. But even if a quarrel does not occur, resentment will remain in your soul for a long time. Did you know that many people with serious cardiovascular and nervous systems, prefer to remain silent until the last? All claims to others should be expressed, but at the right time and in a friendly manner. This is the key to a happy family life. If family members rarely help you, do not make a scandal, but simply point out their mistakes and ask for help. In a similar way, you can find a way out of many situations leading to conflict.

Do not spread gossip and criticize consciously

Such is the essence of human nature that in the absence of mutual acquaintances we love to talk about them. Not only women, but also men are prone to “washing the bones”. This habit should be abandoned. If you criticize someone, say it to the person's face. Climbing into your personal life, if you were not initiated, is at least uncivilized. It is already a real meanness to speak unkindly behind the back of those with whom you personally communicate well - this is already a real meanness. It is better to refrain from categorical comments about third parties at all. If the situation requires your comment, try to gently, but unequivocally, tell the person everything in person, as it is. Is it possible to avoid conflict if you want to criticize, but do not have solid arguments? Of course, yes. Suffice it to emphasize that all your words are yours personal opinion, and listen to him or not, it's up to the opponent.

Argue or not?

Some people are born debaters, they like to prove their opinion to the last. In this case, it is not the result that matters, but the process itself. How to avoid conflict with friends or loved ones on empty place? Learn to respect other people's interests. Suppose your wife likes green tea without sugar, and you prefer sugary coffee with cream. Will you swear because of this? Rather, everyone will brew a cup of their invigorating drink and drink it with pleasure. So why stoop to mutual insults and shouting because of musical tastes, politics or religion? It is most useful to mark in advance for yourself a list of topics on which it is better not to talk with a specific person.

Agree and... do it your way!

Common at work - teachings and instructions. The most difficult thing is to resolve the situation when you are sure that you are doing everything right, and a less competent person offers a different algorithm of actions. If you try to defend the truth, conflict cannot be avoided. This is the very situation when it is important for the attacking side to emphasize its authority. If the boss "teaches" you to work correctly, but despite the fact that the results suit him today, you should not try to point out the errors in his judgments. A rare boss admits that he does not have sufficient knowledge and really came up with utter nonsense. Listen carefully, agree, promise to fulfill. Wait for a convenient moment and continue to work in the usual algorithm. This advice for eternal theme: "How to avoid conflicts" will help at home. Put on a hat before going out in May to retired parents. Or promise your wife not to drive faster than 80 km/h. As soon as you turn the corner of the building, the headgear can be removed, and how to drive a car is your own business. But everyone was satisfied with each other, and the mood at the height of each potential participant in the quarrel.

If the scandal starts...

An entire branch of psychology is busy deriving universal formula how to avoid conflicts. The rules don't always work. And if you are nevertheless drawn into a showdown, your task is to end the quarrel as quickly as possible. Concentrate on the problem and try to find a compromise. The most important thing is to find out and understand what the other side wants. Never switch to insults and do not remember the past, it is also advisable to abandon generalizing formulations. it main secret how to avoid conflicts in the family - never say "you always say ..." or "you always act ...". Such criticism is dangerous; phrases of this type are perceived by the addressee as the most severe criticism. Summarizing, you make it clear that you are always dissatisfied with the behavior of your interlocutor and perceive him as an unworthy person.

Good mood - salvation from scandals

If you don't know how to avoid conflict, learn to remain calm in any situation. Keep your voice low and keep a friendly tone. It is also helpful to keep a calm smile on your face. When you are criticized, listen carefully and thank you sincerely. If you are dealing with someone above you (boss or parents), emphasize the authority of the speaker. Recognize that without his guidance and advice you would never have thought about it on your own. You will say: "But why obey your parents in adulthood if it took all your childhood?" In fact, knowing how to avoid is useful for everyone. Appreciate your closest relatives, small concessions to prevent a quarrel on your part are nothing compared to well-being in the house and a warm atmosphere.

Tricks of life without scandals

Please everyone and always very difficult. It's one thing to keep quiet during a fight and dress up once a month the way your mom wants you to. But it is quite another to dedicate one's life to an unloved profession or to abandon one's own desires. When you are about to give in to someone, try to assess how much this act will harm your life? Being able to defend your interests is also a whole art. In some situations, it is better to survive the quarrel, but continue on your way to the existing landmark. Is there a universal way to avoid conflicts with your parents if they wanted a completely different life for you? Of course, it is worth trying to explain your position and come to an understanding. But if conversations do not work out, you should leave this topic for a while. After all, we all know that quarrels with the closest people are the brightest and strongest, but reconciliation usually happens very quickly.

Summing up

Now you know how to avoid conflict at work or at home. It is enough to stop taking to heart the opinions of others and criticism addressed to you. It is necessary to treat everyone around with understanding, and not to feel hostility towards anyone. Learn to forgive people and delete the unworthy from your life without regret. In some situations, it is easier to give in than to defend your case. If you are confident in yourself and your knowledge, do as you see fit. Don't forget to listen to your opponent. Only by understanding his point of view, you can find a compromise or end the quarrel in another way.

Some conflicts have serious consequences. After a quarrel, you can lose your job. Or your friend does not want to communicate with you further. Even if the conflict ended with a formal reconciliation of the parties, it will take some time to restore the old relationship. Assess the consequences of the quarrel, so that it does not happen, you should not perceive what happened as an apocalypse. If during a quarrel you behaved unworthily or undeservedly offended the interlocutor, you should apologize. The first time after the conflict, it is better to communicate at a minimum, you will definitely be forgiven and understood, but some time is needed. But after a couple of days, you can move on to conciliatory steps. Try to just talk to someone with whom you recently quarreled, please this person with something. If you have a conflict at work, you should try to fulfill your duties at work. highest level and not give new reasons for criticism and censure.

Rules for resolving conflicts

It's no secret that it's not easy to avoid quarrels. Even in the most happy families quarrels happen. Of course, building relationships in such a way as to completely avoid quarrels is almost impossible. But it is necessary to learn how to get out of conflict situations. You don't want a big scandal, do you?

Most best option- compromise. Find a solution that works for both sides. Remember, if one of the parties makes concessions, but remains unconvinced, then the problem is not solved. After a while, you will encounter her again.

Here are some tips on how to reduce conflict situations to a minimum. They will be useful not only for women, but also for men.

1. Learn to contain your emotions You will never have a constructive dialogue if at least one of them is aggressive. No, of course, if your main goal is to defuse emotions, then scream as much as you like, but if you have specific purpose, then you should first calm down, and then start a conversation.

Coping with your emotions is not as difficult as it seems at first glance. Try to look at the situation from the outside. Imagine you are watching a movie. Yes, you feel sorry for the main character, but he is not you, and therefore you can analyze the situation impartially. You may not succeed the first time, but the main thing is training.

2. Don't overthink yourself You shouldn't beat yourself up. If the husband is late after work, you should not fill your head with terrible thoughts about the accident or about another woman. You shouldn't start arguing as soon as he crosses the threshold. Before his arrival, we remember the first advice and extinguish negative emotions. Try to figure out why you are so worried about this and how you really feel.

Do not be surprised, because the fact that your emotions are based on fear that you will be abandoned or that something will happen to your loved one is normal, as is resentment, often based on selfishness. Then imagine that the door opens and he enters. What do you want more at this moment - yell at him or hug him? If the first - we continue to extinguish emotions. Don't be afraid to tell your husband that you've been worried about his delay. He will remember this and will warn you in the future.

3. Choose a time to talk Don't go under hot hand. If the husband came annoyed, postpone the conversation. And remember, you should also not start a conversation with a hungry, not enough sleep, and even more so, a drunk person.

4. Fight the cause, not the effect Find out what has become the cause of the conflict. It is worth discussing and resolving it, and not the quarrel itself. This will greatly speed up the resolution of the problem.

5. Do not remember the past In addition, remember that it is not worth starting a quarrel, while remembering all previous sins. Limit yourself to what happened right now.

6. Don't accumulate problems Solve problems as they come. Don't wait until there are enough of them. Discuss problems gradually, and never return to them.

7. Don't hold a grudge Speak about the offense calmly and without tantrums. You should not bear it in yourself - the faster you speak out, the faster it will pass.

8. Do not stoop to insults This is also very important. Insults - new reason for quarrels.

9. Don't be sarcastic and avoid irony Remember, sometimes not the words, but the tone with which you uttered them, offend the interlocutor.

10. Don't throw tantrums Did you know that tantrums are considered a form of manipulation? Despite being a very powerful weapon, it won't really help you solve the problem.

But what if you are not the initiator of the conflict? How to act in such a situation?

Mouth shut Remember in school years you were advised to close your mouth with a padlock, and throw it out? Apply something similar. In order to certainly not say anything superfluous, take water in your mouth and wait until your husband says everything he was going to. If you suddenly swallowed water - take more. A person cannot talk to himself for a long time. Soon it will bother him and he will shut up. And discuss the situation later, when he leaves.

Go outside the box If you're being yelled at, try hugging or kissing your husband. It is unlikely that after this he will want to continue the quarrel. You can also try to move the conversation to another topic. Ask for a glass of water or close the window. You should not cling to words A phrase taken out of context loses its original meaning.

You shouldn't cling to individual words , because then a grandiose scandal is guaranteed to you.

Do not think that you are the root cause of everything Not always the cause of the quarrel is you. Perhaps the cause of irritation is failure at work, a quarrel with friends, or the rudeness of others. After all, not everything revolves around you.

Remember, with the right approach, any aggression can be minimized. The main thing is to know how to do it.

Portal for the student. Self-training

What is conflict

Essence of the conflict

The main stages of conflict situations

Outcomes

Types of conflicts

Family conflicts

The problem of fathers and children

Teenage conflicts

Personality Conflicts

Conflict Resolution Styles

The main ways to resolve conflict situations

How to avoid conflicts

Should conflicts always be avoided?

Why is it so important to stop swearing?

Learning to understand and respect

Never be the first to fight

Think positive, wish well

Do not spread gossip and criticize consciously

Argue or not?

Agree and... do it your way!

If the scandal starts...

Good mood - salvation from scandals

Tricks of life without scandals

Summing up

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