Every day we make several decisions a day, from choosing a menu for breakfast to social circle. Most of our decisions are harmless and cannot radically change our lives, but there are also those on which our entire life depends. future life fully. AT difficult situations we often begin to doubt ourselves and the correctness of our decision, rush between several options and lose a lot of time and energy instead of taking action.
How to make the right decision in life
Making decisions - real science. However, there is nothing supernatural in it, every person can quickly and correctly learn how to make decisions. It is enough to have the courage to take responsibility for your life in own hands and adhere to several rules and methods.
There are several ways to make decisions:
- heuristic(based on feelings and intuition)
- algorithm(based on informed decisions, study of information and analysis).
Ideally, between rational thinking and intuition should be harmony.
In addition, the manner of solving problems largely depends on the type of personality and temperament. So, extroverts prefer not to think for a long time, but immediately begin to act, while introverts analyze a lot and can “hang” for a long time before making a decision. Both of these strategies can become a failure: the extrovert will eventually mess things up, and the introvert will remain sitting in the problem and waiting for it to be solved by itself.
Basic decision rules
There are some rules to follow when in doubt when making a decision.
- Remember your life priorities and stick to them strictly. Think about what is really important to you and why you work, study, etc. Often values and priorities are artificially replaced by society.
For example, the principle of "money for the sake of money" becomes fashionable. When applying for a job, think about what you really value and why are you doing it? If you really value your family and communication with children, a highly paid job with constant processing may simply not suit you. By focusing on the essentials, making decisions becomes much easier. - Try it if possible. You can think endlessly about what would happen if you went and did something, or you can just try and then make a decision.
For example If you dream of becoming a famous graphic designer, apply for an internship with an advertising agency. Looking at the dream job from the inside, making a decision will be much easier. - Limit the number of options. You should have a choice, but remember that the abundance of options does not help, but, on the contrary, makes it difficult to make a decision.
- Come up with an algorithm of action if a certain situation occurs.
For example, if you started your own business, but after a year it did not start to generate income, you stop investing in a loss-making enterprise. Such “backup” algorithms allow you to calculate the risks and insure yourself in case of an unfavorable course of the situation. - Seek advice from loved ones and more experienced people . It is important to be able to process these tips. Of course, the opinion from the outside and the information received are very important. However, do not forget that sometimes people give advice, projecting their own fears and failures onto your life. Be careful and don't follow other people's opinions.
- State the problem several times. Seeking advice is useful not so much to hear advice as to talk through the situation. When we repeat our question several times, new unexpected thoughts and ideas come to us already at the moment of pronunciation.
- Stop thinking and analyzing and just act. Sometimes we have nothing to lose in a given situation, so why waste your time and energy thinking? Wherever there are no casualties, act swiftly and decisively.
- Postpone decision until tomorrow . Sometimes weighing and making a decision is much easier with a fresh mind. In addition, sometimes it is useful to rely on your subconscious and ask yourself exciting question for the night. Perhaps the first thought that comes to mind immediately after waking up will turn out to be the right option.
- Limit the time to make a decision. The law of forced efficiency comes into force.
- Rely not only on your experience, but also on current changes in the situation.
- Once you've made a decision, act now!
What should not be done?
- Don't turn off your intuition. It is still worth listening to your body and "signs from above".
- Don't delay making a decision and implementing it. Otherwise, you will remain sitting with the problem.
- Never regret your decisions. Remember that it doesn't happen ideal option actions. Everything that happens to us happens for something and is already the most correct decision. Perhaps, having made a different decision, there would be much more problems?
- Do not abuse advice and do not ask everyone in a row.
- Don't shift responsibility for your life onto someone else.
- Don't be led by your emotions.
Eliminate emotions
It is very important before making a decision to get rid of interfering emotions: fear, nervousness, excitement, etc. Such emotions make it difficult to concentrate on the main thing, constantly draw attention to minor details and do not allow you to adequately look at the situation.
Fear
In order to get rid of fear, you need to imagine very clearly worst case development of events. Of course, it will be greatly exaggerated, but playing a frightening moment in the imagination will allow you to touch own fear and prepare for possible problems on the way to the goal.
Breath
No matter how trite, getting rid of interfering excitement will help deep and slow abdominal breathing. Breathe deeply into your belly rib cage while practically not moving. Make 10 slow breaths and exhalations, slightly holding your breath for 5-7 slow counts.
Wait
Just wait. Momentary impulses and desires are not always worthy of an early implementation. Sometimes they pass as quickly as they appear in our head. It is better to wait until the wave of excitement and emotions subsides than to do something stupid.
Stay Focused
Try to be here and now as much as possible when making a decision. Stop being distracted by external factors and various little things. If necessary, retire and be alone. Dive headfirst into the problem and focus on it.
The 10/10/10 rule
To cool your ardor, sometimes it is enough to ask yourself three questions:
- How will I feel about my decision in 10 minutes?
- In 10 months?
- After 10 years?
While doing this practice, try to be as honest with yourself as possible.
Remember this state when a friend turns to us for advice. We clearly see the situation and do not pay attention to various trifles. Try to look at your problem from the outside and give yourself adequate advice.
Ideal "I"
Choose from the proposed options ideal. Try not to think about what you want. Our desires are not always in our favor.
Decision-making methods
Mankind has come up with many ways to make the right decision throughout its existence. But before you start getting acquainted with these methods, you need to understand what the correct solution consists of:
- Information. These are dry facts emotional coloring and information distortions.
- Selectivity in information. Not all facts should be taken on faith or projected onto your life.
- Concentration on the problem and its solution.
- Experience. Mostly your personal, but the experience of loved ones is also very valuable.
- Flexibility and ability to adapt to changing situations.
- Adequate assessment of what is happening.
- Consistency in decision making and subsequent actions.
Avoid limits and boundaries
People tend to choose between two extremes: "Yes" or "No". Buy a car on credit or not? Get divorced or not? Quit or not? We drive ourselves into the framework of a difficult choice, while the true answer to the question may be hidden in the middle or even lie in a different plane.
For example, someone wants to buy a car on credit, but doubts because he does not want to get into debt. Perhaps the question should simply be put differently and buy a cheaper car, rent an apartment closer to work, or even find a job near your current place of residence.
Try to think broader and avoid yes/no boxes.
Dream Diary
Imagine the goal in all colors and your future life when you get it. Answer the following questions:
- How will I feel?
- Why do I need it?
- Will I become more confident?
- What opportunities will open up for me?
Write down your fantasies in detail in your diary, answer questions, and reread your entries every day. At first, you will not believe what you are reading, but over time, your subconscious mind will take on a new picture.
In addition, a vivid representation of your own dreams and goals helps you make decisions. Most importantly, always remember why you wake up in the morning.
Expand Your Choice
Don't get hung up on the first option you see. Check out other alternative solutions as well. Suddenly it turns out that there are options much better and more profitable? However, you should not expand the choice to not limited quantity options. Remember that this will only make it harder to solve the problem.
disappearance
Imagine that the option you chose suddenly disappeared. What will you do in such a case?
This method allows you to get rid of attachment to one specific decision and get out of the dead end of thinking.
Search for information
Study thoroughly everything related to the problem and ways to solve it. Getting to know reviews on the Internet has become an ordinary ritual before purchasing a product or service. But for some reason, not everyone does the same when choosing a university or a new job.
Research the issue on the Internet and, if possible, communicate with those who worked or studied in this institution. This will already save you half the wrong choice.
In addition, you can ask questions directly at the interview. Do not specify what bonuses the company can offer and whether there are additional benefits for employees. Better ask who was in this position before, how many people left this position and why, where they are now and how you can contact them. The answers to these questions will already be enough to make an informed decision.
If it is difficult to make a decision, you can use the Descartes square method. To do this, draw a square on a piece of paper and divide it with two lines into four more squares. In the upper left box, write everything that you will get by making this decision, and in the right box, everything that you will get by not making it. In the lower squares, respectively, everything that you will not get if you make this decision, and everything that you will not get if you do not accept it.
After you have finished writing all the pros and cons this decision it remains to calculate their ratio and number:
- Subtract the number of minuses from the number of pluses in the upper right square.
- Carry out the same operation with the left column of the square.
- Make a decision.
Three question method
There is such a theory that before making a decision you need to ask yourself three times. The first time the answer will come on the basis of emotions, the second time - on the basis of logic, and the third answer will be the closest to the truth.
Try on different hats
You can also make a decision in game form. To do this, imagine that you have seven hats different colors and each of them can radically change the way you think:
- Red- makes you excitable and emotional;
- Lilac- allows you to always remain rational;
- Blue- includes intuition;
- Black- makes you see one negative and pass everything through the prism of a defeatist attitude;
- Pink- makes overly self-confident and incapable of self-criticism;
- orange- generates impossible projects and makes fantastic plans;
- White - gives wisdom.
Try on all the hats and try to bring out the middle one from the whole stream of thoughts and feelings.
We exclude uninteresting options
You can choose from multiple alternatives using the elimination method. Remove the most unattractive option from the existing ones. Then remove another one and another one. Continue eliminating unwanted options until one option remains.
lesser evil
Our choice is not always associated with pleasant things. Sometimes, no matter what we choose, the consequences will not be very pleasant. What to do in this case? Accept the situation as it is and try to choose what will be the least unpleasant for you.
PMI method
The abbreviation PMI can be deciphered as Plus, Minus, Interesting . Make a table with three columns. In the first, write down all the possible pluses from the decision made, in the second - the minuses, and in the third - just all the interesting remarks, nuances and comments that are neither pluses nor minuses.
This plate will help to visualize all the advantages and disadvantages of the decision made and once again weigh the pros and cons.
Practicing the Five Guiding Questions
Suppose you have already chosen a solution for your problem. How to check if you are moving in the right direction and whether it is worth changing it? The five questions method will help you with this:
- Do I want this (become someone / do something / have something)? If the answer is yes, keep asking questions.
- If I do this (become someone / do something / acquire something), will I remain in harmony with myself, the world, the Universe and God (for believers)? If yes, then we continue.
- If I do this, will it bring me closer to my dream? Yes? We continue.
- If I do this, will it violate anyone's rights? If not, then you can ask yourself the last question.
- If I do this, will it be better for me or for someone else?
If you come up to last question and the answer is yes, you can safely assume that you are on the right track.
Algorithm for independent decision making
In order to learn how to make decisions on your own, take a piece of paper and a pen.
- Write on a piece of paper what your problem is.
- List the reasons why it needs to be addressed.
- Describe in detail the desired outcome of events.
- Write everything possible options problem solving and actions to be taken.
- Analyze your responses, match them to current opportunities, and take action.
How to make a job decision?
When you are about to leave your job or choosing from several vacancies, remember your life priorities and values. If your family is at the head of everything, it is wrong to choose a job with irregular working hours and constant delays at work, even if you get good pay for it.
It will be good in this case seek help from a friend. After all, real risks and imaginary fears are always better seen from the outside. If you have no one to ask, try giving yourself advice. Try to turn off your emotions, because a job change can change your life for the better or for the worse.
How to decide on a divorce?
If a family life gave a crack and everything is bad, sometimes thoughts of divorce may flash. Do not rush to chop off the shoulder. Wait until the emotions calm down and clarity appears in the head. Perhaps it would be useful to live a little apart with your spouse.
Do not rush to seek advice from loved ones. If you then change your mind and make peace with your husband or wife, loved ones will condemn him / her, consider him / her an enemy and put spokes in the wheels. In addition, personal life is one of those areas of life where decisions should remain solely with you, so that later you will not bitterly regret that you blindly listened to someone's advice.
Remember to avoid narrow boundaries and radical solutions. Perhaps the question "To divorce or not?" put incorrectly and there are other solutions, for example: sort out relationships, work through grievances, talk heart to heart, improve relationships, or contact a family psychologist.
If you understand that you are much better apart than in an alliance with a partner, and you won’t be able to restore the relationship, it may be worth getting a divorce than fighting for a destructive relationship that no one needs.
How to help make a decision?
Every person is the master of his own life. Therefore, give others the opportunity to build their own lives, win and make mistakes. If you see that your loved one doubts himself, give him the opportunity to make his own decision and do not meddle with unsolicited advice. Of course, if you are asked for advice, you can express your opinion and say what you would do, but no more. You have no right to make a decision for another person or take responsibility for his life.
What prevents us from making adequate decisions? (Dan Gilbert)
Every day we make dozens of decisions and solve many small problems. Of course, questions such as: What to cook for dinner? What shoes to wear? What color of varnish to paint nails? - do not require us to take a too serious approach. Even if you wear the wrong shoes, it is unlikely to change the course of your life.
But from time to time life presents us with situations when we have to make really important decisions.
And here you are again at a crossroads. Your future life, and possibly the fate of your loved ones, will depend on the outcome of your choice.
How not to make a mistake and make a wise and correct decision?
Let's look at a few ways that will help you approach the decision consciously, and fully comprehend what is happening without taking hasty steps.
sleep with her
Whatever the problem, try to set a deadline for solving it so that you have the opportunity to “sleep” with it. Yes, yes, literally!
Do not make decisions on the eve of the day. Psychologists say that if you make an important decision after 7 p.m., it may not be right, because at this time of day our brain perceives situations in more gray tones. We are capable of aggravating and conjecturing everything in an attempt to make a decision in the evening.
Drop everything" brainstorming" until morning. Take sleeping pills if you can't sleep and get some rest. Waking up in the morning, you will see everything in completely different colors, thoughts will be clearer, events will be more far-sighted, your mood will be more cheerful and positive. A decision made with a fresh mind will be much more successful.
Emotions have no place here
Try not to get nervous while thinking about this or that problem. AT important matters- Emotions are not the best advisers. Do not give in to momentary impulses and do not make a decision while at the peak of feelings.
If you can't balance, postpone the decision. Get back to him calm environment. Brew a relaxing herbal tea to kick back extra experiences or eat a piece of chocolate, it is able to concentrate thoughts. Try to “cool down” your mind as much as possible and be guided by reason and intuition, rather than heartfelt experiences.
Consult with loved ones. Of course, it is worth contacting those in whom you have long been confident and whom you trust. Perhaps someone from the outside will point you to a new angle in the problem that you did not see from your position.
Of course, you shouldn't take collective decision on an important issue. Analyze all alternative opinions and accept your conclusion. Most importantly, don't let someone else decide for you. If the problem is yours, then the responsibility for its solution lies only with you. Sometimes the opinion of others helps to see the problem more objectively, and this helps in choosing and making decisions.
be ready
Think of all possible outcomes of the situation. Imagine what could be in each version of the decision made. Analyze which outcome has the most pluses or benefits and how big the minuses are. Listen to your intuition and do not make deals with your conscience. Evaluate all the pros and cons without any cunning in front of yourself. So your conscience is unlikely to have a chance to torture you.
Scroll in your mind all the possible outcomes of the problem, prepare mentally for each of them. And then, no matter what decision you make, it will be much easier to accept its consequence.
Don't guess, decide
Do not refer the solution to your problem to chance or fate. It is foolish to rely on a happy accident or a weekly horoscope in deciding important issue. Know how to be responsible person. Think about the reputation you can earn if you don't trust your own decisions. Is it worth waiting for the trust of others in this case?
To say - "I will leave everything as it is, let time put everything in its place" - this is also a solution! The main thing is not to "bury your head in the sand" and not to evade answers.
Be able not only to make a choice, but also to give the correct reasons why you came to this particular opinion. Then whatever the result of solving the problem is, it will in any case command respect for your reasoned, firm decision.
Our life is a constant series of decisions. They can be both minor and quite serious, which have big influence us, and lead to major changes. A person constantly decides what to buy for dinner, where to go in the evening, what book to read, which university to go to study, what profession to choose, how to make a million etc. And if the price of the issue is small, then the decision is given to us easily and is made quickly, because the loss in case of an error will be small. But, the more serious the choice is, the more difficult it is to make it. In this case, the right decision can lead to great success or vice versa can cause losses and failures. Therefore, it is very important to know how to make the right decision.
Be sure to set yourself a time frame for making the right choice. Having a constraint forces you to choose the most effective solution in one situation or another. This process describes the so-called law of forced efficiency.
To make the right choice, you need to collect maximum amount information. How more facts you will have on hand, the easier it will be for you to make effective choice. So you can more or less objectively assess the situation.
Remember that emotions are your enemy in decision making, because during a surge of feelings you cannot reason objectively and detachedly. Try to wait for the moment when everything boils over in your soul, and only then get down to business, because on hot head you may not make the best decision.
Please note that if the search correct option action is related to work, then you can shift this issue to someone else. So you save yourself a lot of time. Also, once you complete a task, you can expect to do it all the time. Additional workload without appropriate dividends is absolutely useless. Therefore, think as rationally as possible, because delegation of authority- a very convenient tool for "unloading" your work schedule.
As you make your decision, be sure to prioritize your thinking. Structuring thoughts according to the principle of importance is an excellent skill that will allow you to quickly find an effective way out of any situation. If this skill is not developed, when parsing challenging tasks you will constantly get confused in your own reasoning. In addition, there is a risk that you will take the wrong criterion as the basis for making a decision, which will lead to incomprehensible consequences. With big share chances are your choices will be inefficient, and often dead ends. By making mistakes, over time, of course, you will be able to develop your skill in decision making. But by violating the so-called "overview" of the choice, you will not be able to determine the causal relationships that explain why the decision was correct or vice versa. Therefore, before a difficult choice, it is advisable to structure all your thoughts and make a “priority rating” various factors in your head.
Fear of possible failure also makes it difficult to find the right solution. Many fail because of this ineffective feeling. In order for fear not to interfere with you, you need to analyze in detail the consequences that this or that choice can lead to, and then act.
When making a decision, it is best to remain calm. If you are a rather suspicious person, you can relax by listening to your favorite music, resting or, in extreme cases, drinking a sedative.
Objectivity is another factor that will ensure making the right decision. You need to be honest with yourself and not artificially embellish the facts that contribute to the wrong choice.
Prioritization is one of the most important components in evaluating various options for action. Think about what is most important to you: money, career, family, etc.
In addition, you need to evaluate the costs, since this factor can have a serious impact on the effectiveness of a particular solution.
Most of us very often regret what we have done, believing that we made the wrong choice. In fact, if you think soberly, you can come to the conclusion that there are no right and wrong decisions. If you are determined to achieve goals, and this goal is a priority and important, all actions towards it will be absolutely correct. Choosing the right solution is a rather subjective concept, so be guided by your desires.
Often situations arise that the choice can be postponed until some details are clarified in the case when the delay will not bring any damage. However, you can fall into the trap when new facts make the decision-making process more and more difficult, unforeseen information arises that needs to be clarified. Such a paradoxical effect is manifested in the fact that the more effort and perseverance you put into achieving a result, the worse you get. Or in other words, the longer you solve any problem, the more obscure facts emerge in this case.
Time in any case limits the ability to analyze various options. Refusing to choose is also certain decision, although it can often be the most inefficient. For example, if you cannot choose between two professions that are right for you, you risk ending up unemployed or becoming an unskilled laborer. In such a situation, any option will be more profitable for you than not choosing. And if you still cannot decide, then it would be better to make a decision at random than to refuse one.
There are times when a hasty decision leads to collapse. In such situations, it is best to wait some time to assess the problem. However, it must be remembered that it is also impossible to delay the moment of making a decision for a long time (especially with regard to work), since you may either get ahead of yourself, or the situation may escalate. And then you will regret that you did not make a choice earlier. The only people who can afford to think about various options in detail high positions because they know that no one else can make the decision but them.
Decide serious problem not necessarily solely on their own. You can always consult with your friends or relatives. The task that has been voiced several times clarifies the situation as a whole, and it will be much easier for you to find a simple and ingenious way out of this situation. In addition, your interlocutors can really give useful advice. The only moment- you should not tell everyone and everyone about your problems, because this way you will not come to anything, but only spend a lot of time on useless complaints. In addition, everyone is ready to give advice, and too much advice can easily confuse you.
If you are used to relying on the opinions of loved ones, then in situations that require prompt action, you can imagine in your head what your friend would advise you. Such internal dialogue can be incredibly useful in many cases.
When making decisions, ignore the emotions that are aimed at achieving quick results. Such false zeal can play with you bad joke. In order to avoid possible negative consequences, you should use the Susie Welch "10-10-10" method, which consists in guessing where your decision will lead in 10 minutes, 10 months and 10 years.
Always look for alternative possibilities. You should not completely give preference to only one idea, blindly believing in its correctness. Come up with at least a few more options in order to compare with your first. Imagine that the original idea simply does not exist, and think about what you will do in such a situation. You will definitely find several other alternatives.
If you still cannot decide 100%, go to bed, and a great solution may come to you overnight. This is because our subconscious knows everything. possible exits from the current situation. During sleep will occur continuous process analysis, and in the morning your subconscious mind can give you best option. Before you go to bed, ask yourself a question again, then put a pen and a piece of paper near you. This is necessary in order to quickly fix some thought if necessary.
Don't ignore your intuition methods for developing intuition), because our inner voice wrong much less often than the mind. Therefore, before making a decision, try to listen to your feelings. If you experience any discomfort, then you should reconsider more options.
Now you know what helps you make the right decision. Let's look at how to stick to the chosen option.
How to follow the decision
Once you have made a decision, act immediately without delay, as any kind of delay only reduces your chances of success. Besides, you sow the grain bad habit constantly postponing things for later, which is fraught with the fact that you will never achieve the intended result.
Remember that changing your decision after you have already passed halfway to the goal, in at least inefficient. Be true to your original views. So you will form the confidence that you are doing everything right, and success will not be long in coming. However, be on the lookout. If you realize that your path clearly leads to failure, it is better to abandon it as soon as possible. Remember that even successful entrepreneurs change course very often. Find a balance between flexibility and perseverance. In this case, you will move towards the goal persistently, while you can quickly change the plan of action without much loss for yourself.
Finally, it should be noted that in order to learn to make the right decisions, should use personal experience . At the same time, be guided by the above tips, because your decisions cannot be correct in 100% of cases. The constant change in the surrounding reality forces you to change as well. So be flexible in the process of choosing the right solution. Remember that your methods can fail, no matter how perfect they may seem to you. Experiment more and take tactical steps unusual for you, because the comfort zone in which you are used to being leads to degradation. Personal experience- one of the most faithful advisers.
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How often do you hesitate when to take firm decision? We think this happens all the time. How do we know this? They themselves are. Our generation has the ground broken under its feet. When there is no foundation in the form of faith, a system of values, then it is always difficult to make a decision. You have to focus only on yourself, and not on the "Big Brother", who will gladly make a decision for you. On the one hand, it is difficult and scary to live without such help - you don’t know where you are going, you don’t know what will happen tomorrow. On the other hand, when you have to think only with your head, a strong and enterprising personality is born.
But even powers of the world This is not always possible to make a firm and meaningful decision. Sometimes you have to improvise, because a person by nature cannot analyze everything, predict everything - he cannot be sure of everything. It happens that time works against you, and circumstances with enemies. At times like these, the worst thing you can do is to fall into a stupor. Men do not fall into a stupor - even in an uncontrollable situation, they retain common sense. Remember, even if you think that you have nothing to rely on, you are mistaken. Your life, your experience, your knowledge, your ideas - this is something that cannot be taken away. This is your personal foundation, with the help of which we will teach you to make decisions - they will not always be correct, but at least they will be. And this is good.
Choose the lesser evil
Which will never get old. If you have to make an unpleasant decision, then evaluate the risks, write down Negative consequences each decision, think about the probability of failure and choose the solution that will give you the least trouble. If sovereigns at least occasionally followed this simple rule, then there would be much less economic, political and military crises.
Be pragmatic
However, choosing the lesser of two evils will not always be best solution. Sometimes you need to focus on profit. Forget about moral principles, forget about fear and remember that risks may or may not be justified. If you have a real opportunity to benefit, then why not try to do it? It would seem that the advice is banal, but in Russia, in our opinion, they very rarely listen to it - the population has completely forgotten about the word "pragmatism", preferring the words "stability", "spirituality", "duty" to it. No, if you want to live well, then you need to make decisions that will bring you money, influence, pleasure, in other words, profit. This is pragmatism.
Jump without regrets
If you cannot make a pragmatic decision, then there may be reasons for this. For example, you may not have enough time to do this, or you simply cannot adequately assess the benefits and associated risks. In this case, you need to trust intuition or chance. Yes, you can be wrong - the chances are 50/50 - but it's better than waiting for the decision to be made for you. If you are afraid to trust your intuition, then there is a simple, but effective method make any decision - toss a coin. Thus, you will entrust the fate of the decision to your luck, chance, fate. This relieves you of responsibility psychological level) wrong choice. Life is full of events when you just need to do, not think.
Operate with ideas
People used to trust the gods sacred books, the authorities. Many people are still guided by such authorities when they think about what decision they should make - this is normal. This behavior is embedded in human nature. The beauty of the 21st century is that today you can choose your own authorities, build an ideological concept yourself, which may not work for the whole society, but will work for you. If you have principles own understanding honor or moral guidelines, then why not use them when you make your choice? Just ask yourself the questions: “Am I doing the right thing?”, “Does my decision fit in with my ideas?” "Am I doing something bad?" The answer will not always be unambiguous, but you, one way or another, will be able to make a choice.
Simplify your choice
If we talk about everyday things, then a man should be simpler - as it was before. For example, if a man was choosing a shirt in a store, he looked at the size, color and, perhaps, the shape - that's all. Now, because of the abundance of shirts, you can’t choose the right one, not because there isn’t one, but because there are too many of them, and you get too hung up on things. The same goes for food and drink. If earlier there was coffee, today you will be offered mochachino, cappuccino, macchiato, americano, latte. You can choose something “suitable” with wild eyes, but the essence will be the same - you will choose coffee anyway. So why not immediately choose "just coffee"? Why spend an hour choosing a movie at the cinema when you can just look at the poster and choose the first movie that comes across that more or less correlates with your interests? Be simple - and then life will cease to be so complicated.
Do not do anything
Not having a solution is also a solution. But only if it is not about fear of choice. When you are afraid to choose, then you always and everywhere accept bad decision Even if everything ends well for you. When you consciously do not choose and remain still, then you accept good decision even if the outcome is sad. The point is awareness, not the result.
The whole life of a person consists of a series of decisions - large and small. Some of them affect the rest of your life. Many people have difficulty when faced with the need to make a choice. Let's figure out how to make the decision-making process the most effective, and what methods can be used to do this.
Every day life puts us in front of a choice, throwing up a variety of tasks. What to cook for breakfast? What suit to wear to work? What phone to buy? Where to go to rest during the holidays? Should I agree to the marriage proposal or wait? Quit your job or stay? There are decisions that do not really affect anything, but there are those that radically change life.
All people behave differently when they make decisions. There is a category of people who are called "pofigists". They never suffer from a choice, because they prefer the first one that comes across or the most simple option. They put on the clothes that they take out of the closet first, go on a date with the one who invites them first, get the job that is easiest to get, etc. These people believe that life itself will put everything in its place, so they don’t worth the effort.
Another category of people when making important decisions is guided by intuition. These individuals always listen to their inner voice and do not doubt the correctness decisions taken. However, there are not many such people.
Most of the people are individuals who experience difficulties during the choice. They suffer, doubt, weigh each option, but still cannot accept final decision. And when the decision is made, they continue to doubt its correctness. If you are one of those people and do not know how to make a decision, if in doubt, then it will be useful for you to learn a few methods that make the selection process easier.
Method 1. Descartes Square
The essence of the method is to consider the problem you are facing from four different sides. To do this, you need to ask yourself 4 questions. Take a sheet of paper and divide it into four parts in the form of a square. For each section, write one of the following questions:
- What good will I get if I fulfill my plan?
- What good will I get if I refuse to fulfill my plan?
- What harm will I get if I fulfill my plan?
- What harm will I get if I refuse to fulfill my plan?
Think and write in each square the answer to the question. By listing all the pros and cons of implementing your plan and not implementing it, you can understand what decision you should make.
If you don’t know how to act in this or that situation and stop doubting, tell the two closest people about the problem and ask them for advice. folk wisdom says that each person has his own guardian angel who protects and directs to the right way. The guardian angel gives clues through intuition. If a person has poorly developed intuition, then an angel can convey a hint through loved one. Hence the recommendation to ask for advice from the two closest people.
Method 3. "Expanding the scope"
The problem with most people is that they narrow themselves down and see no alternatives. They tend to obsess over “Yes” and “No” options, not realizing that there are other choices. Let's say you want to borrow a car. You see only two choices - take a car on credit or continue to drive public transport.
Expanding the selection box, you will see alternatives. For example: you can find a cheaper car and buy it no longer on credit; you can refuse a loan and start saving money to buy a car; you can rent a house closer to work and not use public transport; you can generally change jobs by getting a job in another company located close to your home; you can arrange with one of your colleagues to drive you to work in his car for a certain fee. As you can see, there can be many options, the main thing is to see them.
Method 4. "Disappearance of options"
Imagine that the option you like best is not available. For example, the company you want to work for has ceased to exist. Think about what to do in this case. Thinking in this vein, you will discover other equally interesting options regarding new job, which you have not seen before, because you are fixated on one.
Method 5. "Glass of water"
The author of this technique is the American parapsychologist Jose Silva, the founder of the Silva Method, the author of books on non-traditional psychology. He suggests the following: in the evening before going to bed, pour into a glass of clean, unboiled water. Hold the glass with both hands, close your eyes, focus on the problem that concerns you, and clearly articulate the issue that needs to be resolved. Then, slowly, drink half the glass, mentally repeating something like this: “This is all I need to make the right decision.”
Place a glass of water next to your bed and go to bed. In the morning after waking up, the first thing to do is drink water and thank your subconscious for the right decision. The solution may come immediately after waking up or during the day. People who have tried this technique claim that it works.
Method 6. "Delay"
If you can't make a choice and make a decision, give yourself a break. When you are excited and your brain is overloaded with information, do right choice very hard. Remember how often in a hurry you took wrong decision and later regretted it? To prevent this from happening, take a break, calm down, once again carefully analyze the strengths and weak sides of your choice. There are not many situations in life that require an instant decision, so don't be afraid to put it off for a while.
Method 7. "Know the information"
Before making a choice, try to find out how you can more information about the option you are going to give preference to. If a we are talking about buying a product, read online reviews about it. When deciding to change jobs, find out all about the position you are about to take and the people who have worked there before you. If possible, seek out these people for first-hand information. You understand that the employer may not tell you about all the difficulties that await you, and a person who has already worked in this company before is unlikely to withhold such information.
How more important decision you accept, the more responsible should be your approach to the search necessary information. So you protect yourself from deception and prepare for possible difficulties.
Method 8. "Reject emotions"
Emotions make it very difficult to make the right decision, because they distort the vision of the situation. An emotionally aroused person is not able to think sensibly. Therefore, make it a rule for yourself: never make decisions while at the peak of emotions. Anger, fear, anger, as well as stormy joy, euphoria are bad advisers in making decisions.
If you are overcome by emotions, do not make any choice. Give yourself time to cool down and then sober look take a look at the situation. So you will protect yourself from rash acts and their consequences.
How to get rid of emotions?
Even when you understand that emotions are preventing you from making the right choice, you can't always get rid of them. To facilitate this process, use simple methods.
10/10/10
This method allows you to discard momentary impulses and look at the situation in long term. The essence of the method is to ask yourself three questions before making a decision:
- How will I feel about my choice in 10 minutes?
- How will I feel about my choice in 10 months?
- How will I feel about my choice in 10 years?
Let's say you want to borrow expensive car. You apply for a loan and get behind the wheel of a brand new car. What will you think 10 minutes after the purchase? Surely you will be in euphoria, rejoicing in your acquisition. But after 10 months, the joy will subside, and you will feel the full weight of the credit burden, you will be faced with the need to limit yourself in many things. And in 10 years, when you finally pay off your debts, you will see that your car is old and needs repair, or maybe you are already so tired of it that you want to sell it.
The 10/10/10 method can be used in any situation. It perfectly helps to pacify emotions and look at the long-term consequences of your choice, so as not to regret what you have done later.
stay in the dark
A good way to subdue emotions is to simply be in the dark. Psychologists have proven that twilight or total darkness calms a person, helps to put thoughts in order. Please note that jewelry stores are always brightly lit. Do you think it's made for gold and gems better played and shimmered in the rays of light? Not only for this. Marketers know that bright light often makes a person make impulsive purchases.
If you need to calm your emotions in order to accept the right decision, sit for a while in a semi-dark or dark room, think again about the consequences of your choice.
Breathe deeply
Another simple but effective method helping in the fight against emotions - deep breathing. Take 10 slow and deep breaths in and out, and then ask yourself again: “Am I doing the right thing?”.
Think about what advice you would give to a friend.
To reduce emotions and cool the ardor, it is useful to look at the situation from the outside. Imagine that it is not you who is facing the need to make a decision, but your friend. What would you advise him to do in this situation?
Many people notice such a feature in themselves: they give practical and rational advice to their acquaintances, but they themselves, getting into similar situations, behave extremely stupidly. This happens because looking at the problem from the outside, we see only the most essential. And when we ourselves find ourselves inside the problem, then a lot of all sorts of little things pop up, to which we attach too much importance.
The ability to abstract and look at the situation with an open mind gives a significant advantage when it comes to making the right choice.
Method 9. "Following life priorities"
Each person has their own life values, rules and priorities that influence his choice. Always stick to these values and you can't go wrong. For example, you are offered a choice of two positions: one of them is prestigious and highly paid, but requires a lot of feedback from you; the second is less prestigious and not with such high salary, but you do not need to work overtime and you have a lot of free time. Which one to choose?
To make decisions without doubt and stress, be guided by your life priorities. If your family comes first, then choose a position that is not so prestigious and paid, but will not steal your personal time, which you can devote to loved ones. If you dream of building a career, give preference to a prestigious and highly paid position that will help you move up the career ladder.
Method 10. "Intuition"
Intuition is a wonderful tool that not everyone knows how to use. She can tell you the way out when rational methods did not bring the desired result. And it often happens like this: you make a choice based on logic and rationality, and this choice seems to you the most correct, and the inner voice stubbornly protests against it. Maybe you should listen to him?
Develop intuition, and it will be a great help in different situations, however, do not overestimate its role and do not forget about reason and logic.
When faced with a choice, use one of the listed methods, and it is better to apply several at once. Over time, you will understand which method suits you best, and you can use it in a variety of ways. life situations. By learning how to make decisions, you will significantly improve the quality of your life.
