A problem that is psychological in nature, that is, "internal" for a person, associated with his picture of the world, value sphere, conflicting needs, confusing interpersonal relationships, etc.

Psychological problems are difficult to divide into subspecies, since any internal conflict, any internal entanglement tends to expand: family problems very quickly become personal, personal - spiritual, etc. Since psychological problems are closely related to human needs, it is easier to classify them (problems) in relation to the concept of "need".

1. Individual psychological problems. Problems related to the biological essence of man: problems in the sexual sphere, different kind uncontrollable fears and anxiety, mental health disorders, dissatisfaction with one's own appearance, physical data, worries about lost youth, etc.

2. Subjective psychological problems. Problems associated with the performance of a purposeful activity by the subject: lack of will, knowledge, skills, insufficient level of intelligence and other abilities, confusion in the goals of the activity, lack of energy, irrationality, etc. Very often, subjective psychological problems are disguised as problems of a different kind. Few people, for example, enjoy feeling stupid; instead, a person begins to literally look for problems in interpersonal relationships, for example, he may decide that others are biased towards him or build intrigues.

3. Personal psychological problems. Problems related to a person's place in society: lack of status, inferiority complex, image problems, problems in relations with a sexual partner, children and other family members (family problems), colleagues, friends and enemies, problems in a team, role problems and etc.

4. Individual problems. Problems associated with self-realization and the achievement of long-term goals: a feeling of emptiness of being, loss of meaning in habitual activities, feelings of lack of time, existential fears, loss of self-esteem, experiencing insurmountable obstacles that stand in the way of achieving long-term goals, sudden crises (death loved one, loss of important property), problems at work and in business, in hobbies, etc.

57. Conversation with an aggressive subscriber on td.

Aggressive subscribers

Makhovikov identifies two areas of aggression: benign aggression that occurs in a person in response to a threat to his life, well-being, etc.; and malignant aggression, which is a manifestation of destructiveness and cruelty towards others. When a telephone aggressor calls a consultant, he needs a release and tries to violate the consultant's personal boundaries.

The consultant cannot defend his boundaries in the usual way for him, and the aggressor hears this very well, because. the tone changes, the pause increases, etc. Such dialogues, as a rule, become unfinished. This leads to feelings of guilt, anxiety, confusion, annoyance, a state of frustration for the consultant, and emotional burnout.

The destruction of an aggressive subscriber is due exclusively to verbal aggression, which leaves no visible traces behind, it is easy and accessible for the subscriber and extremely sensitive for the consultant. One of constructive ways The solution to this problem is the completion of the dialogue or the establishment of some kind of framework, which already leads to a decrease in the anxiety of the consultant and with the help of this, one can move towards a constructive relationship. If the consultant realizes that he does not have the ability and strength to work with such a subscriber, if the life of the subscriber is not in danger, then it is advisable to end this dialogue and ask the client to call back another time.

Now on the Internet at free access there is great amount literature, the study of which can really help in solving many problems and changing oneself. These are books and study guides, and even whole training courses, designed for independent passage, which can provide answers to many questions. You need to find the direction of self-help, which is closest to a particular person.

Popular authors offering help to solve various kinds of problems include Louise Hay, Liz Burbo, Sergey Kovalev, John Kehoe, Vladimir Levy, Valery Sinelnikov and many others. Each author offers his own view on the causes of difficulties in all spheres of life and gives ways to resolve them. You just need to make an effort to study them.

Audio and video lectures

Along with books on the web, it is possible to obtain unique information through audio and. Lectures, seminars and trainings are posted on the websites of many organizations involved in counseling, psychological and spiritual assistance. Their study can also help you understand yourself and resolve a variety of personal difficulties. These are lectures and seminars by Oleg Torsunov, Ruslan Narushevich, Sergey Lazarev, Olga Valyaeva, Andrey Kurpatov, etc.

Watching inspirational films.

Inspiring films tell about the path of the hero in the full sense of the word and through this they set you up for success, teach you how to overcome difficult situations, and motivate you to move forward. If you enter in search engines: "inspiring films" - you will receive links to sites and forums with a list of such films.

spiritual help

Help others

Such a way as helping others changes the thinking of a person and allows you to get rid of the position of the victim. If even in your difficult situation you find the strength and ability to help those who are even more difficult, then your success will be more significant.

As we have just seen, there are many ways available to not be alone with your problem and start taking real steps to solve it, even if you don’t have money for it. psychological consultation.

Tip 2: Psychological training. Not only benefit, but also harm?

Various psychological trainings in recent times gained popularity. Some people find it necessary to develop as a person and devote time and energy to their spiritual growth. However, not all individuals find the right path of self-improvement.

Among psychological trainings there are good, useless and even dangerous for a person. Before embarking on any program personal development, learn more about the coach, reviews and results. Otherwise, you risk falling for non-professionals.

Shock therapy

When attending some trainings, there is a danger that participants will receive extreme stress. Sometimes coaches do not quite understand the subject of the lesson, but this does not bother them. Possessing superficial knowledge of software and having developed a certain model of behavior, they teach it to other people, not paying attention to their individual characteristics.

As a result, participants get a real shock. The leader of the training makes them not only go out of their comfort zone, but also really step over themselves. Because of such actions, the psyche of the audience members suffers.

It is important to understand that it is almost impossible to apply any universal model of behavior for all people. They have different tempers, problems and principles. Very difficult to master personal growth for multiple people at the same time.

An unequivocal answer to such important questions how to become successful, how to get married, how to become more confident, just not.

Some coaches, not being professional psychologists trying to maintain their authority in front of the audience. In order to rise in the eyes of the people who came to their occupation, they assert themselves by choosing victims from the hall and suppressing their will.

The test subjects usually resist little, as they blindly trust the host and believe that these unpleasant manipulations are part of the therapy. Selected members receive swipe self-esteem and psyche. However the main objective trainer is achieved - the desired effect is obtained.

Deceived expectations

If psychological training did not result in harm, this does not mean that it was beneficial for the participant. Sometimes people just throw money away by buying tickets for the next training.

Some people go to personal growth classes with high expectations. Perhaps out of desperation, they believe that the coach will help them change in one day, and then they can completely turn their own lives around.

Alas, self-improvement is a long process. This is not a matter of a couple of days or even one month. To get rid of complexes, solve personal problems, find the right model of behavior, resolve a complex conflict, several visits to a psychotherapist are required.

It is worth noting that we are talking about individual lessons. Only in this way can a real effect be achieved. And doing several hours or even a couple of days together with big group almost impossible to change.

Immediately after the training, people can feel uplifted, euphoric. They spoke out, met like-minded people or comrades in misfortune, they are not alone. This state is mistaken by some participants of the classes for beginning changes. They think they have become stronger, more confident, wiser.

However, a few days later, having encountered a couple of times with my problem in real life, they understand that they have not received the necessary skills and do not know how to act in a given situation.

The fact is that some trainers can look at the topic of training only from one side and develop training based on their own experience.

Certified and practicing psychologists know that it is impossible to work through a problem with an audience in one session. Therefore, they rarely undertake the development and implementation of training. But amateurs consider themselves quite competent in this issue and gladly share their "wisdom".

Therefore, when choosing personal growth training, pay attention to a few things. First, consider whether the complexity of the topic is appropriate for the amount of time that the trainer allocates to it. Too loud promises of incredible results after training should alert you.

Second, gather information about the class leader and the center where he teaches. Thirdly, read the reviews of those who have already attended this training as participants. Find out what methods the trainer practices when working with the audience. If they are too harsh, feel free to toss the offer aside. Sign up for training only when nothing bothers you at all.

Everything appears today more programs training that takes place in the form of workshops. This is a great opportunity to learn something new, change and transform your life. But depending on the topic, the result may be different.

Instruction

Psychological training always has a specific theme. Someone comes for spiritual development someone to receive material well-being, and some want to discover femininity to a greater extent. There can be many options for seminars, some people rely on classical psychology, others involve esoteric exercises. But what matters is not how it all works, but the effectiveness of the methods.

Typically, psychological training involves working in a team. It can be a huge hall and a small group, for each proposed trainer there are optimal forms of work. But it is important to ask if there will be an opportunity to ask questions, to work out specific circumstances. You can listen, write down everything, but a person wants to solve his problems, and this important goal for those who go to such an event.

Trainings help a person when he is ready to receive information. The vision of the master can differ significantly from what those who came think. He will argue the position, lead. But if the listener refuses to perceive, there will be no effect. It is important to go to the event open to new knowledge. This does not mean that you need to accept everything without questioning, but you need to listen and hear, and only then pass through your prism.

The seminar is not a panacea for all problems. Attending one event does not guarantee that all difficulties will be solved. Usually you have to work for a very long time after the event to get the maximum. Part of the knowledge will be forgotten, so you will have to revise the records, as well as follow the instructions given by the leader. Training is work both in the process and later.

Any psychological training works when the person is ready to work. It often happens that you really want to change some circumstances in life, but at the same time do not change anything else. But the transformation usually affects all areas, not certain aspects. And when someone who comes to the seminar understands this, he can refuse to realize it himself. This is a common situation where people decide that they are not ready to work on their problems.

No need to wait for the seminar to do everything for you. If a person thinks that training is a help to him, but without the participation of himself, he will not get what he wants. Usually the host gives tools, teaches them how to use them, helps with advice, but the person himself goes. Nobody does anything for him. He becomes the creator of his own work, and circumstances only help. And if you are looking for a wizard who will do everything for you, then you should not go to training.

Related videos

Psychologists are approached with different questions. All of them can be attributed to one of the categories: simple, medium, complex, very difficult.

Sometimes we are faced with difficult situations through life and ask the question, should we go to? We figure out how much money you have to pay, but is it worth it? Or maybe we can do it ourselves? Or will it resolve itself? Such questions arise before making a decision to turn to a psychologist. Moreover, sometimes we really manage on our own, and some situations are resolved without our participation.
So do we need outside help?

First you need to understand that the human psyche is not a simple and understandable tool. Sometimes, under a simple, at first glance, problem, rather complex and difficult to work out causes are hidden, without changing which the problem itself does not go away. The opposite situation is also possible, when a serious difficulty in life is resolved with the help of awareness simple analysis options actions.

How to understand which problems require deeper, and therefore labor-intensive study, and which ones require less effort.

1. Problems that are easy to correct and influence.

Let's start simple. What exactly will almost any competent psychologist help us with?
All the fresh, recently appeared complexities and difficulties in relationships, as a rule, require just support and some balanced decisions, help in finding them or just help in adapting. Has a new difficult circumstance arisen or new turn in previously successful situations or relationships - welcome to a psychologist. There is a high probability that after 1-5 meetings you will leave the office inspired by your discoveries, ready to live full life and enthusiastically solve life's puzzles that previously seemed like problems.

It is necessary to emphasize the addition: "in previously successful situations or relationships." If the relationship is not easy and it lasts for a long time, then the situation belongs to another category of problems.

2. Psychological difficulties and difficulties that require some effort to resolve them.

For example, these are more complex, intricate relationships in which the client will have to realize something in himself, make some decisions, including difficult ones, confess his not always obvious motives and aspirations. Also, you may have to make efforts to harmonize relations, limit yourself in some way, etc.

Also in this category will fall questions and harmonization of psychological state. This also requires some effort, searching for information, doing some exercises and some analysis and understanding of oneself.

Achieving goals, analyzing obstacles, developing strategies to achieve it - all this is quite possible to realize with the help of a psychologist, if you make an effort and spend some time.

3. Complex problems requiring deep study and serious efforts.

Sometimes it is quite difficult to determine from the very beginning which category a particular problem belongs to. One way to do this is through practical efforts to overcome it. If you have made enough efforts to resolve any complexity and many in your situation have already achieved results, it is possible that your situation fell into the category of psychological difficulties and difficulties that are quite tangible in weight.

It can also be long problematic relationship, addictions and , negative emotional reactions that cannot be changed different ways, and many many others.

Not any psychologist will help in these problems, but really good specialist with experience in this type of assistance.

In these cases, the reasons may go deep into the subconscious of a person and require in-depth study. There are negative emotional reactions that occur in very early age, in the period of intrauterine development, immediately at the time of birth.

Often cause problem situation turns out to be a circumstance in the human race. Thus, Bert Hellinger directly connects some cases of depression in modern Germans with the cruel deeds of their fathers and grandfathers in Nazi Germany.

Deep Causes hidden in the human psyche can be worked out for quite a long time and not easy. But they can also be dealt with, having already put in quite a lot of effort, both on the part of the client and the psychotherapist.

Sometimes such difficult problems require wisdom, deep understanding or a different life position. Obviously this comes with time, sometimes over many years. And there is no reason to expect such major changes in a month or two.
Wisdom and mature life position ripen.

4. Problems that are practically intractable psychological correction and impact.

And finally, we will touch on something that a psychologist is unlikely to cope with, of course, if he is not a genius, such as, for example, Milton Erickson.

Here we include all the underlying problems caused by negative traits character, which manifest themselves almost the entire life of the client, are considered by him an integral part of his personality.

For example, strong pessimism, a deep sense of worthlessness or infringement. strong grievances for life. Such people have many unsolvable problems in all areas of life. Sometimes it seems that such people came here on purpose to suffer. If there is a person nearby who is ready to lend a helping hand, sometimes simply, then all his attempts are rejected. Such a “client” finds some protection in his hopeless situation and will resist to the last, so that, God forbid, he does not get at least a slight relief. Such clients usually do not go to psychologists because of chronic lack of money.

This group also includes clients with mixed problems. For example, when a medical or psychiatric component is mixed with the psychological component.

Many existential problems also cannot be corrected except rare cases. Such people are accompanied by depression, lack of meaning in life, fatigue, sometimes physical illness and many associated complications. Sometimes such patients are helped only by a spiritual approach based on initiation into religion or knowledge of the depths of one's "I".

People need to think about themselves. Think about your social life(study, profession, business, career ...), about your health (after all, a sick body causes a lot of trouble, problems and pain), about your family (about close adults and children, even sometimes about beloved animals that are considered family members ), about his own appearance (a unkempt, ugly appearance is now evidence of laziness and licentiousness in the modern world, and not a lack of natural beauty), about his own soul (a unkempt soul, full of problems, causes no less suffering to its owner than material poverty, lack of physical health and social upheavals in the country…).

Thinking and attentive people, when they understand or feel that something is wrong or not right in their life, the first thing they want to do is to understand themselves. This is very important, useful and interesting. After all, thanks to this, you can change and improve a lot in your life. You can do this on your own, by reading a variety of literature, watching movies, talking with friends, traveling, hobbies and other things. Or you can try to understand yourself with the competent help of a psychologist. The latter is more efficient, faster and more interesting. After all, a psychologist knows much more about the soul and can help much more effectively than a simple layman.

There are many reasons in connection with which a person has a desire to understand himself. But there is, in our opinion, the most basic, which includes almost everything - this ... Recently, this concept has become widely known. It turns out that not everything in life changes for the better by solving material difficulties, health problems or a career, there is an area of ​​\u200b\u200bproblems that lie only inside the human soul and almost do not depend on external factors.

What psychological problem and where does it come from?

If the causes of discomfort, failures, any dependence, dissatisfaction and other things are mainly in the psyche (in the soul) of a person, and the external circumstances of life only aggravate the internal causes ...

If this condition causes a person obvious or hidden suffering ...

If a person with with great difficulty he manages to change himself and the situation around him, but even having changed something, he does not receive satisfaction and spiritual comfort ...

Then we can safely say that the problem is predominantly psychological, internal, and not external, social. And this is good because in this case a psychologist can help a person become satisfied with himself and his life. It is enough to apply labor, time and competence, and the problem can most likely be solved.

Usually arises when a person has an unconscious internal fixation on some object or subject, as if connected (according to the person himself) with the achievement of a desired goal. And any person has only two types of desires - either to get something (to have, to be, to become, to realize, to possess, etc.), in other words, "the desire for ...", or to get rid of something (run away, destroy, leave, push away, free, etc.), in other words, "the desire from ...". If this is not achieved in any way, there is a problem.

Schematically (in a playful metaphor), this can be depicted as follows:

1. For example, a hedgehog really wants an apple. But there is a barrier in front of him - a stump. The hedgehog would take, and go around the stump on the side and get the coveted apple. But he cannot internal reasons bypass the stump. Here he stands, poor fellow, in front of a stump, tormented and dreaming of an apple ... So is a person with a psychological problem. There is always some cherished goal or object or subject of desires. And there is a certain barrier subjectively preventing you from getting what you want. The nature of the barrier is the psychological impossibility of overcoming or bypassing it.

2. Another version of the problem is expressed in the same subjective barrier that prevents you from avoiding or getting rid of something. The hedgehog was frightened in the forest of a monster - a dog. Frightened, he rolled under a stump and could not get out, go around the stump and run away. He sits under a stump, sticks out needles, is afraid and is at risk... Just like a person wants to avoid something, but there is an obstacle that seems insurmountable. And in no way can a person overcome an internal barrier. Like a stupid prickly hedgehog, he sees an insurmountable obstacle on his way, and psychologically “hides himself” in a corner, and is inactive or his attempts do not lead to success. And the interference interferes and presses only for internal (psychological) reasons! The situation is heating up, and “needles” are used - the so-called psychological defenses.

3. Now imagine a hedgehog who smelled a delicious apple and really wants it, but at the same time he can’t cope with the stump on his way ... he can’t figure out and cope with the task of “how to get around the stump”? At the same time, the same hedgehog smelled a terrible dog near the apple tree, which he is mortally afraid of ... And the hedgehog rushed away, but stumbled upon another stump, got stuck at its roots and could not figure out that the side of the stump could quickly run around and get away from the "danger" ... He sits, poor fellow, between two stumps, snorts at the whole forest, beats the air with needles ... not an apple ... nor salvation from a terrible dog ... A continuous problem !!!

That. we wanted to metaphorically and jokingly illustrate a very serious pattern - often the problem is of a dual nature. Those. on the one hand, a person unconsciously strives for a cherished goal, but cannot achieve it due to internal psychological reasons(complexes, non-constructive behavior, stress, lack of skill, etc.). And on the other hand, for the same internal psychological reasons, he is afraid to achieve his cherished goal (someone or something threatens to be punished for trying to solve it). In addition, in many cases this mechanism occurs unconsciously or, at best, semi-consciously.

So it turns out that all the components of a psychological problem are subjective!

Subjective impossibility to overcome the obstacle (well, the hedgehog can’t get around the stump in any way, this is beyond his hedgehog strength)

Ways to achieve the goal are destructive (sitting by the stump and dreaming of an apple or hiding under the stump and snorting at the dog, and not reaching and not fighting or fleeing)

Deep connection (dependence) with past experience (memory, associations, "anchors" ...)

Often there is actually no desire to constructively solve the problem, but there is a desire to “play” around the solution (there is always a “psychological benefit” from a problem, even from the most difficult one, it’s just that this benefit is not conscious) ...

It is beneficial for a hedgehog to be heroic, even got into the picture .... That's when the dog leaves and takes away the apple, the hedgehog returns home, although sad and unhappy from what happened, but tells his hedgehog family what a hero he was and everyone admires him. There is always a psychological benefit in the most terrible situation, even if it is the benefit of suffering. All these subjective components give rise to a strong uncontrollable attachment to the problem (this is how a hedgehog goes all his life to sniff an apple and snort at a terrible dog) ... and then get the delight of loved ones. And it looks like a kind of “pit” where you fell into and you sit in it ... you sit ... you sit ... and you can’t get out.

We have given a metaphor for the structure of a psychological problem, but what kind of content can it be?
The most common options:

intrapersonal conflict is a conflict within psychological world personality. This is a clash of opposite desires, interests, values, goals, ideals, individual parts of the personality. There is a conflict in the form of severe emotional experiences(explicit or hidden).

Psychological trauma- various damage to the psyche after affective (very strong and destructive) experiences. The events that caused such destructive experiences can be very diverse: isolation, illness, death of a loved one, childbirth, divorce, stress, conflicts, military operations, danger to life, rape, etc.). These events, having a powerful effect on the psyche, disrupt perception, thinking, emotions, behavior, making a person inadequate.

Frustration - mental condition experience of failure that occurs when there are real or imaginary insurmountable obstacles to the goal. Frustration is accompanied by anger, irritation, guilt, resentment, etc.

Neurotic reactions and conditions- fears, anxiety, anxiety, phobias, obsessive-compulsive disorders, neurotic reactions, depressive reactions that occur as a reaction to a severe life situation. In all these manifestations, the core experience can be psychotrauma, intrapersonal conflict, stress, disadaptation, frustration, etc.

parenting costs- learning certain habitual emotions in childhood; parental taboos on positive feelings (self-love taboo, repressed anger, repressed sadness, repressed sexuality, etc.); parental orders for negative emotions (inferiority complex, feeling of rejection, destructive attitudes and stereotypes), etc.

Psychosomatic disorders- somatic (physiological and physical) disorders (diseases) caused by emotional causes. Body and soul are very closely related. If there is tension in the soul (even unconscious), then the body will definitely react to this with symptoms, syndromes, dysfunction, illness.

Problems of the meaning of life (existence) and self-realization- experiencing the rightness or wrongness of one's own life path, freedom of choice, problems of self-determination and self-expression. The desire to find the meaning of their existence. When the desire is not realized, the person feels an existential vacuum.

Interpersonal conflicts- explicit and hidden conflicts with other people, bringing costs for the psyche. Family conflicts(various value orientations, problems with children, sexual problems, feelings of misunderstanding and resentment, infidelity, threats of divorce) Conflicts at work ( conflict situations, emotional stress, chronic fatigue syndrome, stress, dissatisfaction, irritation, feeling that this interferes with mutual understanding, work and career growth). Conflicts with friends (irritation, envy, competitive feelings, resentment). Conflicts with strangers (conflict situations on the street, in transport, indoors with strangers on their or your initiative).

Age and stage crises- in each age period a person has certain crises. This is completely normal. It is not normal if a person is not ready for this.

Lack of skills or deformed skills- problems in communication, dating, self-confidence, interviews, self-presentation, etc.

Disharmonious self-concept- each person has several images of his "I" - I am real, I am in the eyes of other people, I am ideal, etc. (a whole hierarchy of n-structures). This is the essence of personality and this is the originality of personality and its problems. Often personal originality gives rise to psychological problems, because a person acts in accordance with what he thinks of himself, and this is far from always objective.

In any case, all this leads to the fact that a person cannot achieve what he wants! Is it necessary to achieve this most desired? Does the hedgehog really need an apple in our metaphor? Maybe survive without an apple, eating mushrooms and frogs? And one could overcome oneself and inspire oneself that it seems like one can survive without this desired ... but ... no! The soul will still strive for the goal not in this way, but in another way. Life is one, and your soul wants to live well and happily. Therefore, it is unlikely that the hedgehog will miss the apple (well, maybe he will pretend, nothing more), but he will become stronger in the depths of his hedgehog soul to dream about it. Because an apple is not an end in itself, an apple is a step towards happiness! And happiness is a lot, and not only for a hedgehog, but also for a person.