Intrapersonal conflict is a contradiction in the views, values of a person regarding himself, his life. This problem is rapidly developing now, when people, due to certain circumstances, make too many demands on themselves. Intrapersonal conflict is always characterized by strong feelings, as it affects our individual motives and thoughts. A conflict of such a plan can mature and develop over the years, at a certain stage without interfering with the personality to fully exist. However, at some point, dissatisfaction with oneself, with one's achievements, becomes too obvious. Then the intrapersonal conflict manifests itself in its entirety. Why is it dangerous, what are its features and reasons for its formation? Let's try to figure it out!
Causes of intrapersonal conflict
Like any conflict, this one also has its reasons. These reasons usually affect a person's attitude towards self. When we even subconsciously disapprove of some of our actions and even thoughts, we gradually learn to remain more and more dissatisfied with ourselves.
Unmet expectations
To modern man There are many demands in society. Sometimes a false impression is created that a successful person never gets tired, always does the job efficiently. In fact, this is just an appearance, an image imposed by society, which everyone is trying to unconditionally follow. A person cannot constantly exist at the limit of his capabilities. Gradually, she accustoms herself to the fact that she lives incorrectly, not like all other people. Unjustified expectations are the main reason why intrapersonal conflict begins to develop. A person feels that he does not correspond to some norms, he cannot influence the situation that oppresses him.
Disappointment in yourself
A common cause of the development of intrapersonal conflict, which makes you give up. It seems to a person that he is not capable of anything, but can only make various mistakes. Self-disappointment can result from failure in meaningful activities. Problems at work for a long time unsettle, deprive self-confidence. If a project fails, then thoughts about their own failure often come to mind. Disappointment in oneself contributes to the aggravation of intrapersonal conflict. People often drive themselves into terrible experiences precisely because they want to achieve great results, but in fact they deprive themselves of moral strength.
Social norms and personal needs
These categories often come into conflict with each other. The conflict is formed when a person feels unable to realize his own desires for one reason or another. Many people find it necessary to comply with the laws of society, even if these requirements are contrary to their own ideas about life. For some, social norms are too important and significant to be ignored. In this case, the personality often remains lost, unclaimed. When individual needs are not met, most simply give up and do not want to make even the slightest attempt to change their lives anymore.
Low self-esteem
This is a serious problem, which in itself provokes intrapersonal conflict. If for some reason a person cannot realize his potential, then this circumstance puts enormous pressure on him, makes him doubt himself. Low self-esteem does not allow success. Even if a person is talented enough, she does not find in herself a resource for achievements. She has to constantly be in internal struggle, proving to himself the right to self-expression, and such a circumstance is very exhausting morally. The inability to value oneself is a common reason for the formation of conflict.
Types of intrapersonal conflicts
Intrapersonal conflict has several types of expression. In any case, the contradiction must be eliminated as soon as possible.
Moral discrepancy
It appears as a result of the values of a particular individual are very different from the ideas of society. In matters of morality and morality, there are too many restrictions that sometimes prevent a happy self-perception. A person often finds himself in a situation where his desires are not only not satisfied, but also subject to universal condemnation. I must say that not everyone is able to overcome such an obstacle. Many give up their desires only because they do not know how to properly fight for them.
Motivational conflict
AT this case we are talking that interests that have an equal value for a person collide with each other. He cannot give up one thing in favor of another without experiencing tremendous guilt or disappointment. You need strong motivation in order to take action, to really change your life.
The conflict of unfulfilled desires
This type of conflict is very common. The innermost desires of a person in reality always face certain obstacles. It is not always possible to cope with them even with support. If an individual lacks self-confidence, then it will be difficult for him to follow the voice own heart. Often people put off achieving their goals just because they don't know how to resolve the conflict. By giving up our dreams, we doom ourselves to an unhappy existence. The individual practically ceases to experience joy and begins to live only with everyday worries. The conflict of unfulfilled desires puts too much pressure on the psyche. It can even interfere with building happy life, because it will constantly remind of its existence.
frustrating conflict
The very concept of frustration means that a person refuses something that is of great importance to him. The frustrating conflict emphasizes that the person is fixated too much on possible failure, and this is what prevents her from moving forward in life. Getting used to giving up our own needs, we cannot fully develop, because we ourselves deprive ourselves of joy.
Resolution of intrapersonal conflict
Whatever causes an intrapersonal conflict, it necessarily needs to be resolved. If this is not done in time, then there is a great risk that a person will spend a lot of time in contradictions that will poison him all his life. This kind of conflict does not allow you to fully enjoy life, enjoy your own achievements and new discoveries. How to move towards conflict resolution? What steps should be taken in this case?
Decision-making
This is the very first step, without which all the rest will be impossible. Man needs to take responsibility for his own well-being. Nobody else can do it for him. That is why intrapersonal conflict is too serious a thing to try to ignore. It must be understood in advance that acceptance firm decision will help direct thoughts in the right direction, free from endless throwing through life in search of a better life. There is no need to run away from yourself.
Inner harmony
Living in harmony with oneself is the dream of every person who knows the true price of happiness. Whatever circumstances prevent you from enjoying life, you can not give up. The resolution of the internal conflict cannot take place without the formation of such an understanding. It is necessary to strive to begin to realize your true desires and needs. This will help you release conflict by setting your own boundaries. Nothing compares to the feeling of inner harmony.
Focus on the task
Each person should have a goal in life that will inspire him to new achievements, really lead him forward and force him to develop. Often the presence of intrapersonal conflict in every possible way prevents self-realization. The individual worries too much about possible failure. In some cases, people stop acting altogether so as not to face disappointment. Of course, this approach does not solve the problem in any way, but only exacerbates it significantly. The ability to focus on the task at hand will help resolve intrapersonal conflict. You need to clearly imagine the whole sequence of actions. Overcoming the difficulties that arise is necessary in order to strengthen the character, to increase self-confidence and one's strengths.
Escape from doubt
So many people are afraid to make a mistake, thereby getting disappointed in their abilities. You don't have to be constantly in doubt. Failures happen to everyone, but they do not destroy a strong personality, but only show the trajectory of the desired movement. If you long time If you are in a pronounced conflict with yourself, then you just need to first free yourself from doubts. Fear greatly complicates the situation: they prevent you from acting, making responsible decisions. Freed from anxiety and doubt, you can reach incredible heights, get closer to your dream.
substitution
When it is not possible to cope with some kind of contradiction, it is necessary to try to understand the situation well. In some cases, it may be necessary to replace something with a need that cannot yet be realized without significant losses. By resorting to such a scheme, you can maintain peace of mind and at the same time come to a solution to an intrapersonal conflict. The problem is that such a conflict cannot be ignored. Otherwise, he can imperceptibly subjugate the personality to himself, make him even more doubtful of the available opportunities.
Thus, intrapersonal conflict is a problem that significantly reduces the quality of life. As a rule, such a conflict always indicates what a person needs to pay attention to, what he has to work on. Attention to one's own personality will help to get rid of a painful state of mind. If it is not possible to resolve the problem on your own, seek help from the center of psychology of Irakli Pozharisky. Working with a psychologist will help restore your peace of mind, restore lost strength. Individual consultations necessary to understand the origins of the conflict, only after that it can be resolved.
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For permission intrapersonal conflicts it is important to establish its very fact, to determine the causes, to choose appropriate methods of resolution.
intrapersonal conflict does not occur spontaneously. Man is a biosocial being. On the one hand, it is carried out in the environment. In addition to the fact that the human psyche itself is a rather contradictory phenomenon. Man is involved in various public relations. In terms of content, the social environment and social relations are rather contradictory and affect the individual in various directions and with different sign. Only in society can satisfy its own, assert itself and fulfill itself. The individual becomes a person in society. He must, is obliged, forced to comply with the norms and rules of conduct that have developed in his social environment, both official (legally fixed) and unofficial. It is impossible to live in society and be free from it. On the other hand, a person strives for freedom, the preservation of his own uniqueness.
Thus, the relationship between a person and social environment wear controversial character, which also causes inconsistency internal structure personality. According to , “the diverse relationships in which a person enters are objectively contradictory; these contradictions give rise to conflicts, which, under certain conditions, are fixed and enter into.
When identifying the causes of intrapersonal conflict, it must be taken into account that the authors of each of the concepts distinguish their own groups. But the main reason that unites different approaches, should be called the presence of contradictions. There are two groups of contradictions leading to the emergence of intrapersonal conflict.
Groups of intrapersonal conflicts:
1st group: the transition of external contradictions, in relation to a person, into his inner world (adaptive, moral, etc.);
2nd group: contradictions of the inner world of the individual, reflecting his attitude to the social environment.
Along with groups of contradictions, their levels are distinguished:
1. Psychological balance of the inner world;
1. Intrapersonal conflict;
3. Life crisis.
The psychological balance of the inner world is characterized by a background level of inner conflict situation, the ability of the individual to optimally resolve it.
The level of intrapersonal conflict is characterized by a violation mental balance, complication, difficulty in the main activities, the transfer of mental discomfort to, interaction with the social environment.
The level of life crisis is characterized by the impossibility of implementing life plans and programs, even performing basic life functions until the contradiction is resolved.
The resolution of the contradiction is possible at any of these levels. This is due primarily to the ratio of the level of claims and the possibility of their satisfaction or the ability to reduce their level, or even refuse.
But for the transition from the first level to the next, it is necessary to have both personal and situational conditions.
Personal conditions:
- Complex inner world, actualization;
- The ability of the individual to introspection.
Situational conditions:
- Internal;
- External.
According to V. Merlin, external conditions are associated with the satisfaction of any deep and active motives, needs and relationships of the individual (the struggle with nature, the satisfaction of some needs gives rise to others, more complex, still unsatisfied, social restriction of ways to satisfy motives and needs).
Internal conditions - contradictions between various parties personality. But these contradictions should be significant, approximately equal, and the individual should be aware of the high level of difficulty in resolving the situation. Some authors, when considering socio-psychological The causes of intrapersonal conflict are divided into three groups:
- Internal causes rooted in the contradiction of personality;
- External causes due to the position of the individual in the social group;
- External causes due to the position of the individual in society.
At the same time, it should be emphasized that all types of causes of the conflict are interconnected and interdependent, and their differentiation is rather conditional. In fact, we are talking about single, special and general causes, between which there is a corresponding dialectical relationship and interdependence. Concretizing the internal and external causes, it should be noted that they predetermine the type (kind) of intrapersonal conflict.
Internal causes rooted in the inconsistency of the personality psyche:
- Contradiction between need and social norm;
- Contradiction of social statuses and roles;
- Controversy social norms and values;
- Contradiction of motives of interests and needs.
A common symptom of the external causes of intrapersonal conflict, due to the position of the individual in the group, is the impossibility of satisfying the fundamental, which in this situation has a deep inner meaning and significance for the individual, needs and.
External causes due to the position of the individual in the social group:
- Physical barriers that prevent the satisfaction of needs;
- Physiological limitations that prevent the satisfaction of needs;
- Lack of an object necessary to meet the need;
- social conditions hindering the satisfaction of needs.
Among the causes of intrapersonal conflict due to the position of the individual in the group, one should single out a group of causes at the Level social organization(institute). At this level, to external causes that cause this conflict, should include:
- Mismatch of responsibility and rights;
- Non-compliance of working conditions with the requirements for its result;
- Inconsistency of personal norms and organizational values;
- Mismatch between social status and role;
- Lack of opportunities for self-realization, creativity;
- Mutually exclusive requirements, tasks.
In a market economy, the contradiction between the desire for profit and moral standards. However, in our opinion, this more characteristic of the transitional stage of market relations, the stage of initial accumulation of capital.
External causes of intrapersonal conflict, due to the position of the individual in society, are associated with contradictions that arise at the level of the social macrosystem and are rooted in the nature of the social system, social structure society, his political structure and economic life.
A significant contribution to the development of problems related to the causes of intrapersonal conflict in market conditions. economic relations, contributed, etc. In her works, Karen Horney identified a number of contradictions in market culture that underlie typical intrapersonal conflicts, leading even to.
In her opinion, in the conditions of competition inherent in market relations, a person is forced to constantly compete with his own kind, under these conditions, constant hostility to the social environment develops under certain conditions into hostility towards oneself, which ultimately leads to the emergence of an intrapersonal conflict. On the one hand, market relations require from the individual appropriate level aggressiveness, and on the other hand, society requires a certain altruism and philanthropy from business, considering them as corresponding social virtues. These circumstances are objective social basis intrapersonal conflict under the dominance of market relations.
Causes of intrapersonal conflict (K. Horney):
- Rivalry and success;
- Stimulation of needs;
- Proclaimed freedom and equality;
- Brotherly love and humanity;
- Obstacles to their achievement;
- Their actual limitation.
Erich Fromm, studying the influence of market relations on intrapersonal conflict, calls modern society"sick society", the main disease of which is general competition and alienation, where there is a struggle for power, prestige and status. Alienation affects the very inner structure of the personality - there is a self-alienation of a person from his essence. There is a conflict between the essence and existence of the individual.
An individual in a marketplace feels that his self-respect depends on market conditions over which he has no control. He feels that his value does not depend on him. human qualities but from success in a competitive market. And losers and wealthy people live in fear and anxiety about the future. Therefore, they are forced to constantly fight for success, and any obstacle on this path poses a serious threat to the internal state and gives rise to an intrapersonal conflict.
It should be emphasized that in a market culture, in combination with other factors of reform public life, significantly increases the likelihood of transition of any kind of intrapersonal conflict into a form. The risk group includes not only those who live at the subsistence level and below, but also representatives of the wealthy segments of the population, for whom business is a matter of life. In the event of a collapse of plans, bankruptcy, a person experiences severe stress. At the same time, it must be taken into account that the very way of life of such people is the existence in stressful situation: a constant state of anxiety, worries, overwork.
Thus, a person is constantly under the influence of external and internal factors which cause confrontation and disagreement within it, and it depends only on the personality itself what consequences they will lead to.
intrapersonal conflict according to its consequences, it can be both constructive (functional, productive) and destructive.
The most severe destructive consequences of a timely unresolved intrapersonal conflict is that it can develop into a state of stress, frustration, neurosis, and lead to suicide.
It should be borne in mind that stress is very common in an intrapersonal conflict if it has gone far enough and the personality has not resolved it in time and constructively. At the same time, stress itself often provokes further development conflict or creates a new one.
Frustration is also one of the forms of intrapersonal conflict. It is usually accompanied by pronounced negative emotions: anger, irritation, guilt, etc. The depth of frustration is the greater the stronger the intrapersonal conflict. The level of frustration tolerance is individual, on the basis of this, everyone has certain strengths to overcome the frustration reaction to an intrapersonal conflict.
At the heart of neuroses lies an unproductively resolved contradiction between the personality and the actual factors that are significant for it. The main reason for their occurrence is a deep intrapersonal conflict, which a person is not able to resolve positively and rationally. The impossibility of resolving the conflict is accompanied by the emergence of painful and painful experiences of failures, unsatisfied needs of the unattainability of life goals, loss of the meaning of life, etc. The appearance of neuroses indicates the transition of an intrapersonal conflict to new level- neurotic conflict.
Neurotic conflict as the highest stage in the development of intrapersonal conflict can occur at any age. There are three forms of neurosis: neurasthenia, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Neurasthenia, as a rule, is characterized by increased irritability, fatigue, loss of the ability for prolonged mental and physical stress.
Hysteria most often occurs in individuals with great suggestibility and autosuggestibility. It is characterized by a disorder of the musculoskeletal system, paralysis, impaired coordination, speech disorders, etc.
Painful thoughts, ideas, memories, fears and urges to action that suddenly arise in a person against his will, irresistibly chaining all his “I”.
A prolonged stay in a neurotic state leads to the formation of a neurotic type of personality, a personality characterized by internally contradictory tendencies that it is unable to resolve or reconcile.
characteristic feature neurotic personality in relationships with the social environment is a constant desire for rivalry in all situations. K. Horney identified a number of features of neurotic rivalry that distinguish it from the usual.
Features of neurotic rivalry:
- Hidden hostility;
- The desire to be unique and exceptional in everything;
- Constantly comparing yourself to others.
The negative consequences of an intrapersonal conflict concern not only the state of the personality itself, its internal structure, but also its interaction with the social environment.
Intrapersonal conflict can carry not only negative charge, but also positive, i.e. perform a positive (constructive) function, positively influence the structure, dynamics and final result, states and properties of the individual. It acts as one of the most important sources of self-improvement and self-affirmation of the individual. In this case, the conflict situation is resolved without the predominance of negative consequences, overall result their resolution is the development of personality.
Based on this, most theorists and researchers of intrapersonal conflict consider positive intrapersonal conflict as one of the main ways of personality development. It is through the struggle, resolution and overcoming of intrapersonal contradictions that the formation, knowledge of the surrounding reality, the formation of character take place, all the main structural components of the personality psyche are actually formed and developed.
Constructive functions of intrapersonal conflict:
- Mobilization internal resources personality;
- Development structural components personality psyche;
- Way of convergence of "I" ideal and "I" real;
- Activation of the processes of self-knowledge and;
- A way of self-actualization, self-realization of the individual.
So the positive intrapersonal conflict on the one hand, it complicates the mental life of a person, but on the other hand, it contributes to the transition to a new level of functioning allows you to realize yourself as a full-fledged one, strong personality get the satisfaction of conquering your weaknesses.
Along with the causes and functions of intrapersonal conflict, it is necessary to determine its main forms. One of them, the most destructive and dangerous - we have considered, describing negative features conflict. But, along with it, there are other forms.
Rationalism - self-justification, inventing artificial justifying reasons for one's actions, actions to ensure a state of mental comfort. The protective mechanism of concealment by the subject from his consciousness of the reasons for his actions, deeds in order to preserve feelings dignity, the integrity of one's Self, the prevention of unwanted mental states (feelings of guilt, recession, etc.). Rationalism is aimed at hiding socially, personally unacceptable motives and needs.
Euphoria - mental condition, characterized by an unreasonable, joyful, blissful mood, carelessness, serenity that does not correspond to the objective position of a person.
Regression - a return to more primitive, often childish, types of behavior, form psychological protection, a return to that stage of personality development in which a feeling of pleasure was experienced.
Projection is the process and result of the comprehension and generation of meanings, which consists in the conscious or unconscious transfer by the subject of his own properties, states, experiences to external objects, other people (an unconscious attempt to critical situation find a "scapegoat"; interpretation of situations, events with giving them their own feelings, their own experience; unconscious attribution to other people of their own morally disapproved, unwanted thoughts, feelings, actions, first expressed). In addition to comprehending and generating new meanings, the projection also performs the function of removing excessive internal moral conflicts from the personality by blaming others.
Nomadism - frequent change of place of residence, place of work, marital status.
Having determined the main causes, functions and forms of intrapersonal conflict, one should determine such categories as their prevention (prevention) and resolution (overcoming). It should be borne in mind that it is always easier to prevent a conflict than to resolve it.
Prevention of destructive intrapersonal conflict - the creation of appropriate prerequisites and conditions that prevent the occurrence acute forms intrapersonal contradictions.
Resolution of intrapersonal conflict, according to A.Ya. Antsupova, is the restoration of the consistency of the inner world of the individual, the establishment of the unity of consciousness, the reduction of the sharpness of contradictions life relationships, the achievement of a new quality of life.
Ways and conditions for overcoming intrapersonal conflict:
- General (general social);
- Personal.
General, or general social, conditions and methods for preventing intrapersonal conflict are associated with the establishment of a progressive social structure of society, civil society, rule of law and relate to changes occurring at the macro level of the social system.
General social conditions, to a lesser extent depend on the individual specific person. Therefore, we will take a closer look personal ways and conditions for overcoming intrapersonal conflict.
Allocate whole line main ways to resolve intrapersonal conflict:
- Compromise - to make a choice in favor of some specific option and start implementing it.
- Care - refusal to solve the problem caused by intrapersonal contradictions;
- Reorientation - change of claims in relation to the object that caused the internal problem;
- Idealization - dreams, fantasies, escape from reality, from intrapersonal contradictions .;
- Repression - the process, as a result of which thoughts and experiences that are not acceptable to the individual are transferred from the conscious sphere to the unconscious;
- Correction - a change in the direction of achieving an adequate self-image.
It should be emphasized that all of the above methods of conflict resolution of this type are quite effective and lead to a constructive resolution of the conflict.
A number of factors influence the effectiveness of an individual's activity in the constructive resolution of an intrapersonal conflict.
Along with the methods of resolution, there are also mechanisms for resolving intrapersonal conflicts (mechanisms of mental protection).
Psychic defense is an unconscious, spontaneous regulatory mechanism for eliminating unpleasant, psycho-traumatic experiences, any mental discomfort associated with the awareness of the conflict.
The function of psychic protection is the "protection" of the sphere of consciousness from negative experiences that traumatize the personality. As a rule, it leads to a specific change in the content of consciousness as a result of the functioning of a number of defense mechanisms.
Personality is a special regulatory system for stabilizing the psyche of the individual, aimed at eliminating or minimizing the feeling of anxiety or fear that accompanies intrapersonal conflict.
Attention should be paid to the fact that a number of psychic defense mechanisms are simultaneously its form.
Denial is the substitution of making a decision for ignoring it.
- Substitution - a protective mechanism against the threat of destruction, the integrity of the "I" of the individual, from mental overstrain, which consists in a spontaneous change in the object of the actualized need. For example, aggression, irritability towards the boss can be vented on family members. Or in modification, transformation of the need itself. For example, motives for entering a technical university may be replaced after failure by motives for entering humanitarian university or to refuse higher education altogether. Substitution as a mechanism of mental protection can manifest itself in a change in the feelings, motives, attitudes of the individual to the opposite ( unrequited love can turn into hatred; unsatisfied sexual need for aggression, etc.). During the operation of the substitution mechanism, transformation occurs, the transfer of activity, energy from one type of activity to another, accompanied by catharsis. Catharsis is the liberation of a person from traumatic emotions through a story, recollection.
- Suppression - containment of fear by forgetting its source, as well as the circumstances associated with it.
- Isolation - the perception of a traumatic situation or the memory of it without a sense of anxiety.
- Introjection - the appropriation of values or character traits of other people to prevent a threat from them.
- Intellectualization is a way of analyzing the problems facing a person, which is characterized by the absolutization of the role of the mental component in complete disregard its sensory elements. When using this protective mechanism, even very important events for the individual are considered neutrally, without the participation of emotions, which is surprising ordinary people. For example, with intellectualization, a person who is hopelessly ill with cancer can calmly count how many days he has left, or enthusiastically engage in some business, not thinking at all about the impending death.
- Cancellation - behavior, thoughts that contribute to the symbolic nullification of the previous act or thought that caused severe anxiety, guilt.
- Sublimation - a mechanism for substitution (switching) from a conflict situation to another
- Reactive formation - the development of the opposite installation.
- Compensation - hiding by a defect, through an exaggerated manifestation and development of other qualities.
- Identification
- Fixture
- Isolation
- Imagination (fantasy).
The formation of a stable inner world is based on taking into account one's positive and negative life experiences.
Orientation to success, as a rule, suggests that the individual should be guided by real assessment its chances of achieving the goal and therefore should set itself achievable, although perhaps moderate goals and objectives.
Principle in relation to oneself, not only in big things, but also in small things, reliably prevents the emergence of serious internal contradictions.
Morally mature person A person who asserts high ethical standards by his behavior will never find himself in a situation for which he will have to worry, feel guilt and remorse.
In order to adequately assess and rationally resolve intrapersonal conflict, it is necessary to observe a number of general principles.
Thus, intrapersonal conflict is a rather complex, diverse, multifunctional, both positive and negative phenomenon. Knowledge of its essence and content, main types, causes, principles, methods and techniques of its resolution, the operation of psychological defense mechanisms allows a constructive approach to this unique socio-psychological phenomenon, one of the main ways and self-affirmation of the individual.
Your mind and heart feel like they are split.
You want to do something, but another part of you is screaming "there is no way!"
You believe in something, but you cannot justify the actions that faith teaches.
You feel it is right, but at the same time you also feel it is wrong.
How can you understand all this confusion, all this inner conflict? You feel your brain melt and you begin to despair.
If you feel like you are taking small steps towards madness, or the confusion is becoming too much to handle, stop right now. Pause. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. For the next minute, focus on your breath: inhale and exhale.
In this article, I hope to help you understand the roots of your internal conflicts and how to find peace of mind.
Internal conflict is the presence of opposite psychological beliefs, desires, impulses or feelings. In the field of psychology, internal conflict is often referred to as " cognitive dissonance”, which means the presence of conflicting and incompatible thoughts, beliefs and views. This psychological struggle can occur at any time in life, at any time. life sphere, relationships, obligations, at work, in religious beliefs, in moral views and social ideologies.
An example of internal conflict: a man who believes in women's rights, but does not allow them to make decisions. AT religious world internal conflict often arises when a person is confronted with a doctrine or doctrine that he is uncomfortable preaching.
The worst battle is the battle between what we know and what we feel.
When we encounter any internal conflict, it is because of a disagreement between our heart and head.
According to research conducted at the HeartMath Institute, our hearts carry their own special kind intuitive intelligence. When we are brought up in a society dominated by the mind, we become very confused and confused when our hearts are involved in daily activities. It is very easy to listen to the mind, mindlessly obey what others teach us, and plan our lives logically. But our hearts carry their own special kind of intelligence that is non-linear, sophisticated, and often very abstract. There is no formula, no set of rules that are tied to the intelligence of the heart: we must tune in to the voice within that often confuses us so much.
Our intelligence is what gives structure, direction and direction to our lives. practical use. But the intelligence of the heart is what breathes life and truth into the framework of our journey. Without listening to our hearts, we live soulless, dissatisfied and unreliable lives. But, not listening to the head, we live in absolute chaos.
As we can see, a balance is needed. We need to listen to both the heart and the head, but we often tend to put one above the other, which is the reason why we experience internal conflict.
So why is there internal conflict? This is because we do not have balance and balance between the heart and head. Our heart says one thing, but our mind says another: and both scream with the same intensity. When our actions are not aligned with our values, the inevitable result is feelings of discomfort and even shame. So what should we listen to, when, and why? We will look at the answer to this question, but first of all, we need to understand what creates internal conflict.
We face internal conflict for a number of reasons. Often there is no single cause or origin, but there are a number of factors that include:
- Beliefs and rules that we inherited from our parents.
- Religious beliefs, dogmas or creeds in which we believe.
- Social values and ideals that we have adopted.
Simply put, the more beliefs, ideals, expectations, and desires we have, the more likely we are to suffer from internal conflict.
There's a lot various types internal conflicts, and I tried to cover as much as possible. Pay Special attention to those below.
1. Moral conflict
Ethical conflict occurs when we hold conflicting beliefs about what is related to our personal ethics. For example, moral conflict can arise when a person believes in human rights but does not allow euthanasia. Or a person may place a high value on truthfulness, but lie to save another person's life.
2. Sexual conflict
Sexual conflict often overlaps with other types of internal conflicts such as religious or moral conflicts. For example, a person may be a Christian, but he discovers that he is a homosexual. Or a person may appreciate a monogamous relationship when they are sexually more suited to a polygamous relationship.
3. Religious conflict
Religious conflict is quite common as it revolves around mind oriented beliefs and beliefs, which makes them especially fragile. An example of religious conflict is belief in loving god, but it's hard to accept that this "loving" being sends people to hell for eternity. Or a person who is religiously faithful uses various narcotic substances. When scientific facts religious conflict can arise in a person who values both the truth and his religious beliefs.
4. Political conflict
Political conflict occurs when a person feels a split between his beliefs and those of his political party. For example, a person may believe in his country, but not in the tax system. A person may agree with a party but disagree with their healthcare system. Or a person may believe in political philosophy but disagree with the methods of supporting that party.
5. Love conflict
A love conflict occurs when we love someone and at the same time want to do something that will hurt them. For example, we may love our child, but believing that we have to beat him to make him obedient makes us feel guilty. We can also love a person and want to keep the relationship with him, but understand that we must let him go.
6. Conflict of self-esteem
Your image is your internal idea of yourself, for example, “My name is Ivan. I am a patient, loving and compassionate person. I'm a disorganized artist who supports animal rights, etc." Internal conflict occurs when we are confronted with evidence that contradicts our beliefs about ourselves. For example, a person who thinks they are honest may lie on their resume to get their dream job. Someone who is for a healthy diet cannot stop smoking. A person who identifies as an empath may experience constant resentment towards the other person.
7. Interpersonal conflict
Interpersonal conflict intersects with other types of intrapersonal conflicts such as self-esteem and love. This type of conflict occurs in social situations when you want to do one thing but act differently. For example, Anton hates talking about sports, but he pretends to be interested in what his colleagues are saying. An introvert doesn't have a lot of energy but creates a façade" increased energy' to match others. Or someone is offended by a friend, but does not say anything, even if you really want to say it.
8. Existential conflict
Existential conflict involves feelings of discomfort and confusion in life, especially when two opposing beliefs or desires arise. For example, to hate life, but at the same time love it. Or the will to live full life, but not wanting to make any changes or get out of their comfort zone. Existential conflict can also be directed at the world, such as the desire to save the planet, but at the same time believe that it is doomed or pollute it.
Note that all of these examples of intrapersonal conflict often overlap with each other. This list is also not definitive, so feel free to leave a comment if you think any kind of internal conflict is missing.
All the struggle takes place within. And what is the cause of the internal conflict? Attachment to beliefs, desires and expectations.
Quite simply, all our suffering comes from believing our thoughts instead of seeing them for what they really are: the transmission of energy fluctuations in the brain. Are we in control of our thoughts? No. Otherwise, we would always choose to think happy and harmonious thoughts. We don't even know what our next thought will be, let alone the next ten, because they all spontaneously arise and disappear. If we have no control over these thoughts, then how can they mean anything about us unless we ourselves give them meaning?
Sit down and try to watch your thoughts come. Are you in control of them? Or do they control you?
Also, here are some other tips that I hope can help you find more peace and clarity:
The difference between intuition and fear.
In the long run, which choice would be the wisest?
When our heart is dominant, we tend to make rash, poorly thought out decisions. When the head leads: prudence, foresight. Foresight is wisdom. With the knowledge you have now, what would be the most wise decision in the long term?
Weigh all the pros and cons.
If you're trying to find clarity, split the page in two. List all the pros of your solution on the one hand and the cons on the other.
Figure out your number one priority.
Internal conflict often occurs when we don't have a clear priority. What is your most top priority on the this moment? What do you value the most?
What misguided beliefs are fueling your confusion?
What false, misleading, limiting, or irrelevant beliefs are causing conflict within you? Write down your problem on a piece of paper and next to it ask "Why?" For example, you may want to keep your job, but also yearn to stay at home with your little ones. As you relentlessly ask why, you might find that you believe that being at home with children makes you a failure, and you have accepted this belief from society.
Be ruthlessly honest: what are you afraid of?
Fear is always at the root of inner conflict. What really scares you? What are you most afraid of? Sometimes discovering your underlying fear helps you gain more clarity and focus.
What is the "lesser of two evils"?
If you had to make a choice with a gun to your head, what decision would you make?
What resists the flow?
One easy way to test what "shouldn't be" is to study what causes more resistance in life. Remember, life flows easily. It is our thoughts and desires that cut the stream. So let's explore what creates a lot of resistance in life. Are you clinging to a ship that sailed long ago?
A more loving approach.
Do you respect your authenticity or honor what you "feel" you should do/be? Which approach or choice is more in line with truth and love?
Is there a more important issue?
Sometimes internal conflict actually hides deeper issues that need to be explored in order to find a solution, such as negative beliefs in themselves, unresolved feelings of shame, or childhood trauma.
Relaxation of the mind.
Relaxation is great way develop new perspectives. Try meditating, listening to soothing music, or practicing mindfulness. Often the best answers come when we're not looking for them.
Refuse to choose.
Do you need an answer right now? Sometimes letting life move in the direction it wants is the best option than the violent way. Wayne Dyer: "The conflict will not survive without your complicity."
I hope these tips help you find more peace of mind. Remember that it is absolutely normal to experience intrapersonal conflict, and there is nothing strange about you. Also, when it comes to internal conflicts, people tend to romanticize the heart and believe that we should only listen to what the heart wants. But this is an unbalanced approach: you need to listen to both the heart and the brain to create inner harmony.
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Studied internal conflicts great amount psychologists, including Sigmund Freud, who was the first to point out the essence of this state. She lies in constant voltage associated with a huge number of contradictions around a person: social, cultural, inclinations, desires.
Types of intrapersonal conflicts
There are six main groups of internal conflicts that overtake each of us from time to time.
- Motivational - the collision of different motives.
- Moral - the clash of our desires and responsibilities. Very often it arises as a result of a discrepancy between our desires and the requirements of parents or the environment.
- Lack of fulfillment or inferiority complex. An internal conflict of this kind arises if your desires do not turn into reality. He often refers to dissatisfaction with his appearance, or abilities.
- Inter-role conflict occurs when a person takes on two roles and cannot determine which one is more suitable for him. For example, a woman is a careerist or a mother.
- An adaptive conflict arises if the requirements for the surrounding world do not correspond to the possibilities. Often found in professional field.
- Inadequate self-esteem arises as a result of discrepancies between their personal claims and the assessment of opportunities.
Causes of intrapersonal conflict
As we have said, internal conflict is a normal human process that develops. In fact, this is the result of a constant search for oneself, a struggle for certain place in life. But if they are not resolved in time, they can lead a person into a complete existential vacuum, which is akin to a feeling of emptiness and abandonment. Such a state can end in a serious disorder, which is characterized by the belief in the absolute absence of the meaning of life.
Among the most common causes: Controversy, different aspirations, multiple desires, and difficulty in prioritizing. These are contradictions in the sphere of interests, goals, motives. The lack of opportunities to realize something, and at the same time the inability to ignore your desire. This is a special manifestation of a completely normal interaction of various components of a person's personality.
It is interesting that an internal conflict arises only when two equal forces press on a person. If one of them is not equally important as the second, we choose the most best option and avoid conflict.
How to resolve internal conflict?
Despite the fact that internal conflicts are a normal state of a developing person, they must be resolved or try to prevent. There are specific techniques for this. We will give you some tips that will help you understand the problem and begin to resolve it.
Start by knowing yourself. It is very important to specifically understand all your pros and cons. Thus, in your eyes, you will become a well-defined, whole person.
Analyze your mistakes and shortcomings in terms of obstacles to unlocking your potential. Often a huge number of factors that hinder its development are concentrated in a person:
- The habit of shifting responsibility
- Faith in others but not in yourself
- Habitual hypocrisy
- Unwillingness to pursue and defend your happiness
- Independent blunting of one's own strength, which stimulates the development
- Obsession with the unimportant and unimportant
Try to be clear about your values.
Develop self-confidence: constantly try new things, don’t fuss, don’t be jealous or humiliated, don’t lie to yourself and don’t try to impress others, don’t adapt to the environment.
Start by changing yourself and your internal conflicts will recede by themselves, and you will feel a real increase in your abilities.
