As I got used to since childhood, you can only trust relatives and close people. As well as friends and good acquaintances. But, apparently, life made me look at the world differently, and today I would like to tell you why you can’t trust anyone at all? And it is not necessary for this to become paranoid and suspect everyone and everything. Everything is much easier.

So, let's imagine an example where you got an informal job, with weekly pay on the basis of the work performed. Of course, the manager is a stranger to you, and you always assume that you may not be paid. Especially if you have not signed any contracts at all.

But if you choose: to work like this or not to work at all, after all, the first option will be much more presentable. And so you agree to this job, a week passes, and you were paid the required amount. From that day on, you start to trust people, and you think that you will always be paid solely on trust. If so, then you've already made a mistake.

If you were not paid, then you will think that you can’t work like that, and from that moment you can start telling everyone you know that people cannot be trusted, and they are all deceivers. This would also not be entirely correct.

In fact, the point is that, despite past experience, next time the situation may turn out completely differently, and you should always be ready for this. But you probably know this yourself and probably thought that so far you have not learned anything new for yourself. But the most interesting is yet to come.

Relationships with relatives and loved ones

If the situation with the work is quite clear, where do you meet completely strangers, then with those people whom you know for a long time, the situation will be much more difficult. Since you have a firm trust in these people in your head, you most likely do not admit that you can be betrayed and deceived. This also applies to relationships between a guy and a girl. And all people in general, whoever they are for you.

Why do I think so? Because we can never know for sure whether this or that person knows how to keep secrets. We can only believe in it or assume the development of any events, but we cannot know anything for 100%, because we are not the prophets of Nostradamus and not Vanga's grandmother.

Friends and love relationship, alcohol

Let's say you told your to the best friend that you love one girl, but she shouldn't know about it yet. You firmly believe that a friend will be devoted to you for the rest of his life, and therefore boldly tell him your secrets.

However, events may develop in different ways. One fine day, your friend may have certain problems, apathy, depression, and he will go into a binge. And if he was still angry with you secretly, then, being in a drunken state, he may want to annoy you somehow. Not necessarily he will tell this girl the whole truth, but this option cannot be ruled out either.

In general, if a person is a drinker (no matter what doses he uses), then my opinion here is this - it is generally undesirable for him to tell anything superfluous. Let it be your relative, friend, girlfriend - under the influence of alcohol they become different people. And this must always be remembered in order to avoid negative consequences.

Festive feasts

Surely, you often had to observe how at the holiday all the guests after the first two glasses are very fond of talking from the heart. After they take a little more on their chest, various gossip begins to go about those people who are not at the table now. This is the most convenient time to blather other people's secrets.

After all, a drinking person in a state of alcoholic euphoria believes that what he said will remain within this table, and everyone will quickly forget about it and tell anyone. However, this is also an illusion, and already at another feast, when this narrator is not there, gossip will also go about him. And so all the information will be known a large number people, even those who are extremely undesirable to know her.

Can teetotalers be trusted?

You can, but you can't be 100% sure. In addition, there are very few such people in our time.

How not to become paranoid?

You will say that if you don’t trust anyone at all, then you can go crazy and be afraid that your secrets might be spilled. Not at all necessary. If you admit that your secrets can be learned by other people, and they are not (secrets) so secret, feel free to tell them.

There is also a second option. You can assume that everything will be known about you, even what you would not want to tell anyone and never. But can this be allowed? You can, if you understand that the opinions of other people will not change yours in any way. own life. On the contrary, in this way, you can see which people will then turn away from you, and which, on the contrary, will support you and will not pull you once again for the sick. They are true friends.

In short, that's basically it. Of course, you can analyze in detail all the individual factors of trust, but I think for now it will be extra information. And I hope that I have clearly explained to you the whole essence of the article, and now you can reconsider your attitude on the topic of trust in people.

And if you are ever betrayed again, it is unlikely that this will be called betrayal. It was you who simply did not allow the development of such events in advance. And ideally, you need to allow any situation in the world at all, and then your life will be much easier. I wish you success!

It is paradoxical, but it is precisely in this way that trampling on the faith of loved ones that people sin most often. Not thinking about the soul - neither about your own, nor about the soul of a loved one.

Betraying someone who is initially set to trust you and therefore does not expect a catch is much easier than someone else's. To paraphrase a classic, someone close to him is glad to be deceived. The meaner such a deception, the more difficult it is to forgive him.

For those who have been betrayed, the question may arise - is it worth it to forgive? Is it possible to risk trusting again, overcoming resentment, or is it better not to?

On the one hand, a person who lied once can easily do it again. Therefore, it is safer not to mess with him and break off all relationships.

But on the other hand, it is also impossible to put an end to a person: everyone should have a chance for forgiveness and redemption, because anyone can stumble.

Yes, a lot depends on the situation. Only in childhood for us the world is either black or white. In fact, it is full of undertones and uncertainty. View full version: Is it possible to trust a person who has already deceived you once?

Not! Serious deception is already a property of the individual and will not be one-time. If only we ourselves want to continue to be deceived, then we can give a chance and ... be deceived again and again.

Sometimes people slip up! It’s impossible to say for sure, of course, but everyone should have a chance to correct, a chance for forgiveness !!!

You can believe, but if it's a lie. Sometimes there are lies to the rescue. But if this is a betrayal, then you involuntarily expect a repetition. It's human nature(U)

Hello. Why are scammers and manipulators attracted to us in life, those who lead us astray? We all ask ourselves this question when faced with any form of deception or disappointment.

Quite recently, an incident happened to me ... I ended up in an unfamiliar part of the city on business and got lost. I asked for directions from a woman who, it seemed to me, lives somewhere here and is worthy of trust. She pointed out, I went that direction and got even more lost. What is the reason for my delusion? Most likely, I did not know where to go and went at random, using the advice of a stranger. You can even exaggerate - trusted to a stranger your life for a while.

This is one possible answer to your question.

It happens that we are sure that we know where we are going and why we are doing this, but this is not so. And then there is someone who directs us in the wrong direction, leads us astray. And as in my case, to find an answer, it is worth reformulating the question.

Relationships without deceit: why it is impossible to forgive deceit?

In a relationship, “the main thing” is trust ... Or maybe in a relationship, “the main thing” is honesty, or maybe the “main thing” is not to change, or, in a relationship, “the main thing” is love?

There are so many "big things" in a relationship that it's hard to figure them all out. In any case, everyone chooses for himself what is most important for him. Because everything important is very relative, and if applicable in one case, it is highly undesirable in another.

I don't know what is the main thing in a relationship. This I know for sure. If I were asked to write instructions ideal relationship I probably wouldn't have made it. But I know why I would start writing it. I would start with advice, and this advice would lay the foundation for an ideal relationship. I would write capital letters: "The strongest poison that poisons any relationship is DECEPTION." And put a big exclamation point at the end.
Why cheat? Have you ever wondered how nice it is to fully trust a person?

Today we will be interested in trust relationships. This is very important point in the life of every person, because the lack of trust is a sign of far from the most good relations. How to line them up correctly? What does that require? Can they trusting relationship negatively affect the person? Read about all the features of the relationship between people.

What it is

The first step is to understand what a relationship of trust is. After all, without this it will not be possible to fully understand what in question. And even more so to build relationships of this type.

Trusted contacts are people in which citizens can trust and trust each other. For example, you are not afraid to tell someone your secrets and secrets. This is a kind of faith in mutual integrity, sincerity, honesty.

This is the type of relationship that should be in families and couples. It allows you to maintain a friendly and favorable atmosphere.

A lie is a conscious statement that is not true. Lies are so common in communication between people that we sometimes do not attach importance to them.

There are no spheres of life in which there is no place for deception. Children and adults, men and women almost constantly deceive each other on trifles, and sometimes on more weighty reasons. After all, it is not in vain that people say that only fools and angels do not lie. But are lies always harmless?

First of all, it is necessary to understand the motivation of lies. The main reasons for lying are:

fear of punishment - that is why many schoolchildren hide diaries with marks from their parents; the desire to prove their independence and independence - leads to the fact that teenagers secretly start smoking from their parents; verbal aggression- in order to slander and slander someone who does not like, to cause him trouble; get what you want or benefit - the student lies to the teacher that he is ill so that he is not called.

Whatever the topic is - about choosing a new tablet, a movie, a maternity hospital or a decent hotel in Turkey - the first reaction is to see what they write about it on the Internet. It looks like with this bad habit it's time to tie.

“It should be borne in mind that 70% of all reviews in any industry are written to order,” says Roman Usov, director of Kraftwork, which specializes in creating and promoting websites. - And this is only if you do not take politics: politics (comments on political topics in the Internet. - Approx. ed.) is an order in 95% of cases.

“Paid reviews are available on any site where you can leave a comment,” says Andrey N., an account manager for a marketing agency, who asked not to be identified by his last name and place of work. - You yourself when last time did you write a review? People don't write reviews.

About dead souls from Belarus

Shame on you if you fooled me once.
Shame on me if you fooled me twice.

Never trust someone who has deceived you twice...

Whole.
not for all eternity.
didn't sleep.
hands that thought they were theirs
other people's hands
kept.

knew.
knew not to believe.
no more
believe.
enduring
pause, as if on fire,
as if on fire
hesitate.

I am completely disillusioned with life. Nothing can be trusted. She opened the door, on which was the inscription "men", and there was a toilet.

You can't trust anyone in this world, trust me.

Burning bridges
I believe that no one can be trusted
And believe me, it was easy to draw a conclusion
No one should be allowed closer
You can't let anyone get closer.

Sometimes you can't even trust yourself.
What to say about others

There is such a thing as verbiage.
And there are people like you. verbiage?

Have you ever thought about how important role Do superstitions play in our lives? It all starts from childhood, when black cats seem to be real fiends, constantly crossing our path, and a neighbor with an empty bucket automatically becomes a witch, a meeting with which does not bode well. And who hasn't put a nickel in their shoe in the vain hope of getting an A on a test? Having matured, we, not even believing in omens, still do not start important things from Monday, and even more so we do not celebrate forty years. Because it's an omen. Bad.

Especially a lot of signs, at first glance, for no reason forbidding certain actions. So let's figure out where all these strange, and often ridiculous superstitions came from?

Why can't you do anything on Friday the 13th?

“On this day, people are afraid to go outside once again and, if possible, do not plan anything important”

Will you be happy if they deceive you? conscience then torments the Law of sowing and reaping.
What you plant, you will grow. who told you such nonsense?. And this is not a theorem, this is an axiom. proof is not needed here, it is impossible, and that's it. I don't think it's impossible, so I'm cheating without regrets. One cannot intuitively assume what a person thinks. You won't get inside his head? you tell the government this (which is impossible), so they will be surprised. That's just what you can do. If you do not deceive, then you. You have to be able to deceive. And these are just your teenage arguments. You can deceive another person, tell a lie, but it will only make it worse for you. After all, it’s very disgusting to lie and deceive, you definitely won’t experience any pleasant and bright feelings after that. So the choice is yours. Teeth may fall out, prematurely and irreparably ... Actually, this is not prohibited by law.

Why is it so easy to fool me? This question is probably being asked by thousands of people all over the world. again falling for the bait of cheaters. How many were in the life of these deceptions: from childhood to today. Constantly the same thing: once again I am deceived, I am deceived. And once again, I give myself a vow - never again to believe in people, in honesty and decency. And again, and again - everyone deceives me. And it's easy, without special problems. Like a real sucker. Why? For what? Yes, after all, why do people lie?

Why do people lie and deceive each other? After all, a lie is comparable to betrayal, the biggest crime ... Why does everyone constantly deceive me? Why do I fall for deceit, although I have been taught many times by bad experience? Why am I once again deceived in a person in the same situations? Why does a person seem to be good, and then turn out to be the other way around? And why is it so painful to be deceived in a person? How to trust people? How to live and not be afraid to be deceived?

Why do people lie

Why do people lie? Think about how often you have to lie or just embellish a little. recent events? Is there any serious reason for this? Do you cheat, only in extreme cases and only with good intentions, or has it become the norm of life and sometimes you yourself believe in your lies? Each person has his own view on this problem and there are no criteria by which one can determine whether a lie was really necessary and justified.

Note that not one of our days is complete without deceit. And we still wonder: why do people lie? It becomes something ordinary and is no longer perceived negatively. It's easier to lie than to be able to say no and take responsibility. By at least as long as it doesn't concern us personally.

And what can we say about adults, when among children a lie has ceased to be something bad. On the contrary, it helps to have a good time. After all, you can come up with a tragic situation and “cry” to someone, and when a person believes you.

Trust is not an abstract feeling, it is the confidence of each of us in the actions and behavior of other people, as well as confidence in certain phenomena, and it is aimed at specific objects. Each person is constantly faced with this question: is it possible to trust others, is it worth trusting this or that person? It is about trust that will be discussed further.

Can people be trusted

Have you ever wondered why children are so gullible? They almost always believe in the word, believe in the promises, but why? Yes, because they have not yet been deceived, betrayed in their lives, or they simply do not yet know that this has happened. Therefore, it is very difficult for parents to convey to the child that strangers cannot be trusted. But it is very important to teach the baby to be vigilant, this does not mean that all parents from childhood should inspire their children that no one can be trusted, it is simply necessary to convey to them who can be trusted and who cannot.

Who can be trusted?

Do you ever feel like you don't trust strangers or unfamiliar people. It would seem that you do not even know them, but you already feel some kind of threat from them. Why is this happening, why do we not trust people, what is the reason for our distrust? Let's try to answer these questions.

Our distrust of unfamiliar people has roots since our childhood. Remember, weren't you told when you were growing up not to trust strangers? Remember? Then you know exactly what is the reason for your distrust. The feeling programmed in us in childhood that strangers cannot be trusted lasts all our lives, and already in adulthood we are so used to distrust that we simply cannot get rid of it.

Very often distrust of people also arises from the fact that they are not like us. Agree, what do we trust more, what is familiar and close, or what keeps a secret in itself? Of course, in the first case, we are open and go into relationship.

Man is a social being who lives in society and interacts with different people daily, entering into certain relations with them. It's always hard to build relationships with people. Some relationships make a person happy, contribute to his personal and spiritual development while others hurt, harden and make unhappy.

Much depends on a person's ability to understand people and on the degree of his trust in others. After all, one person can be kept at a distance, not giving him the opportunity to become closer, and another can be brought closer to the heart and reveal to him the most intimate. Man has to pay dearly for his mistakes. He can be betrayed, deceived, framed, his heart broken, his life broken. Sometimes the most dear and close people whom a person unconditionally trusted can do this. Is it necessary to trust people and who can be trusted?

Who can't be trusted

Truth is the basis of trust, and only on it should people be built. You can not trust people who are prone to deceit. If this lie concerned the person himself and was invented with the aim of somehow preventing him, then the person urgently needs to draw conclusions.

idle talk

You should also not trust those who do not know how to keep their promises, for whom words are only empty sound. Such a person can swear to do something, promise, make excuses, rush beautiful words, but very soon forgets all his oaths and promises. It must be remembered that it is better to appreciate a person not for his words, but for his actions.

Inadequate people

Unbalanced people who have a very shaky attitude do not deserve trust. nervous system and unable to control themselves. You never know what to expect from someone who at any moment can break loose, become furious, behave inappropriately. People in this state do unthinkable things, so it is advisable to stay as far away from unbalanced personalities as possible.

Envious

The ability to feel people and see their hidden intentions, desires and, most importantly, attitude towards oneself needs to be studied long and hard. People who are prone to envy, those who feel bad when others feel good, do not deserve trust. One who does not know how to be happy for another will always be full of negativity and evil, so you should not get close to such a person. Also not worthy of trust are those people who make mistakes, act dishonestly, unfairly, cruelly, but do not realize what they have done. For example, a person cheated, but does not believe that he acted badly, does not repent.

What kind of people are trustworthy

Still, it is hard to live without trust and it is even harder to communicate with people. without trust are so weak that they will burst at the first life difficulties. People deserve trust, always telling the truth no matter how bitter it may be. You can also trust those who keep their word, who will think a hundred times before making a promise. Such people take their promise seriously and, if they cannot fulfill it, they will not promise anything.

Calm, balanced people who show tact, correctness, and respect for another person are also worthy of trust. You can also trust those who sincerely wish a person well, rejoice in his victories and achievements, as if they were their own. Trustworthy are those people who are constantly improving, working on their shortcomings, realizing their mistakes and trying to correct them.

Confidence is not born by itself, it becomes a consequence human words, actions, relationships. Learn to trust it is difficult for others, but it is necessary to do it in order to become a happy person.

Trust is the belief that someone will behave in a certain way in business and not behave.

Trust is always someone else's, it's personal, a state inner world human, due to the desire and relationships between people, the willingness to transfer certain rights to another person.

Trust is one of the feelings that can cause a feeling constant anxiety and alertness due to unpredictable or unexpected actions opposite side in relation to the trustee.

Based on the realities of today's World, the feeling that most people cannot be trusted (there is no trust in people) can be considered quite justified and logical.
The development of a sense of distrust in people is often fueled and stimulated by the press, television and the real actions of acquaintances, often even the actions of close relatives.

To date, the feeling of distrust towards people is rarely considered and taken into account during pathopsychological examination by psychotherapists, since at first glance this factor has lost its diagnostic value.
However, the lack of trust in people, which is often experienced by perhaps the entire sane population today, is very significant for a researcher, a psychotherapist. This is a symptom that can talk about really occurring brain processes and give quite valuable information. Additional information about true mental state person.

The feeling of trust in people can be divided into two categories, these are:

— Conscious Trust to people.

- Unconscious trust in people.

Conscious trust or

no trust

To people

Most often formed in relation to specific person and is formed through the correlation of facts, objective data about a person whom we usually know enough a long period time for which a person showed himself predictably and loyally towards us. This trust or feeling that most people cannot be trusted is based on facts and logical thinking, i.e. shaped by the human mind.

Unconscious trust or

mistrust of people

More than 80% is formed on non-verbal information, associated with non-verbal communication. It is based on the information received and processed by the brain, which is received and transformed by other human feelings. Posture, movements, intonations, clothing, etc. are taken into account. At the same time, “making a decision” about distrusting people does not belong to consciousness, but to the subconscious.

In case of violations of the highest nervous activity, mental reactions, making this decision may be wrong and often indicates an increase in anxiety levels.

An example of patients' complaints about the lack of trust in people and their neighbors .

A patient:

Woman, 45, married, adult child, employed. I have never used drugs, alcohol is rare, on holidays it is “purely symbolic”. My husband brought me for a consultation with a psychotherapist. She did not immediately make contact with a psychotherapist, at first she denied the existence of any problems and tried to turn everything into a joke and shift the blame for needless concern on her husband. Gradually agreed to the presence of minor problems and a private conversation with a psychotherapist, separately from her husband. I presented my problem like this:

“It's bad, bad, bad. It's impossible to live. Yes, I do not know myself what I need from her. I don't know why I'm here, I hate everyone, I don't trust anyone, and even more so I don't love anyone. It's impossible to live like that. It all started after I got into a car accident, but nothing serious, just a shock. I closed in on myself, I can’t communicate normally with anyone, everything seems to me that everyone wants to do something bad to me. Even with relatives I find it bad mutual language, constantly intrusive thoughts even when everything is fine. There are thoughts that something bad might happen. I'm afraid of everything, I even began to be afraid of people, I don't trust anyone. Without communication, it’s hard for me, but it’s also impossible to communicate normally. And how do I get out of this vicious circle until I can figure it out. I'm afraid that someone will find out about my feelings and thoughts, I don't trust anyone. I try to slowly get rid of my fears myself, but it turns out very badly. From some, I sometimes think that I myself will never be able to get rid of. So embarrassing. That's what is so difficult, it would seem, just go out into the street?

I went to a psychologist, with whom I worked for a long time. At first, I got relief and it even seemed that everything would return to the previous one again. The psychologist talked about my internal contradictions, that this is a neurosis that has formed in me due to stress after the accident. I believed him, as it became easier for me. But a few months later, when it seemed that everything was already fine, I was so “covered” that I called the psychologist at night and asked to come urgently. Yes, he came, but from that moment on I didn’t feel better one iota. This state plunged me into a state of terrible depression, there were some fears of what I had not thought about before. I don't want to and can't leave the house.

AT recent times I often do in defiance of fears, and sometimes it works out well for me, but most often not. Recently, my head began to hurt, as if a hoop was put on and squeezed. I went to a neurologist, did an MRI, which showed nothing. The neurologist prescribed me drugs that made me feel even worse. In addition to the fact that I do not trust people, I have some kind of disregard for everyone, irritability. I stopped taking these medicines. And the last reason why I nevertheless agreed to talk with you is that I began to hear people whispering about me behind my back. I do not understand what is going on".

Do you sometimes feel that you do not trust strangers or unfamiliar people. It would seem that you do not even know them, but you already feel some kind of threat from them. Why is this happening, why do we not trust people, what is the reason for our distrust? Let's try to answer these questions.

Our distrust of unfamiliar people has roots since our childhood. Remember, weren't you told when you were growing up not to trust strangers? Remember? Then you know exactly what is the reason for your distrust. The feeling programmed in us in childhood that strangers cannot be trusted lasts a lifetime, and already in adulthood we are so used to distrust that we simply cannot get rid of it..

Very often distrust of people also arises from the fact that they are not like us. Agree, what do we trust more, what is familiar and close, or what keeps a secret in itself? Of course, in the first case, we are open and go into relationship with the familiar phenomenon, in the second, we close and become distrustful. It is always easier for people to open up and trust what is familiar, what is close, and to what is unknown - we feel distrust and closeness.

The best way to get rid of distrust of strangers is to simply get to know them. Of course, we should not immediately open up to them, because we never know who is in front of us, but when we get to know them, we will clearly see whether they should be trusted or not.

This is with regard to strangers, but what about those with whom we have known for more than a year, with whom we “ate a pood of salt”, went through many difficulties together, and here, it would seem, it is worth trusting a person, but it turns out for some reason vice versa. What is the reason for distrust of loved ones?

The reason for distrust of loved ones can be different, depend on us and on another person, be real and fictional. For example, very often distrust appears because of jealousy and possessiveness.

Have you noticed how we value those people who are close to us? We often treat them as our thing, which should belong to us and only to us. Therefore, when our soulmate goes shopping or fishing, we begin to be jealous, although there is no reason. We do not give a person freedom, we are jealous over trifles, we do not trust, but this is akin to selfishness. And do you need it? Learn to give to loved ones more freedom, trust them, because if they are with you, then you are dear to them. And do not immediately think that they are deceiving you - deception always manifests itself. And excessive distrust can ruin a relationship once and for all.

Sometimes the cause of distrust can be the inability to correctly express your thoughts.. Have you noticed that when a person cannot express what he thinks, for some reason we immediately think that he is lying, and we lose all desire to trust him, although the person does not deceive us . In this case, we just need to learn to understand other people, study their way of speaking, and distinguish truth from lies.

Little lies lead to big mistrust. Sometimes a person should stumble and lie once, even for a trifle, as we no longer trust him all our lives. But is it right? Wouldn't it be easier for us, for example, to understand the reasons for deceit, perhaps the person did not want to hurt us at all. But we have different views. Yes, it is undeniable that lies rarely lead to good, therefore The best way find trust - do not lie. Especially people who know when you're lying.

Distrust often makes us reconsider our views on this or that person. Not trusting people, we often hurt not only them, but also ourselves. Haven't you noticed how hard it is to live when you don't trust people, and how easier it becomes when we open up to them? Didn't notice? And it's worth it! Think about it, reconsider your views, perhaps no one is deceiving you and you should trust people. Good luck!