As you know, the first impression is the impression that a person makes on us from the first seconds at the first meeting. In particular, psychologists say that it is formed within the first seven seconds from the moment of the meeting. Some of them allocate even less time for this: only 2 seconds. Further, they believe, opinion can change, but only to a small extent.

But don’t go to a psychologist either: we all know that, having met a new person, we almost immediately understand whether we like him or not. Here, except that only with an accuracy of a second we do not determine how much time it took us to do this.

We meet new people every day. And we don’t just collide, but whether we like it or not, we have to communicate with them: in the same transport, in various fields services, etc. We evaluate, we are evaluated, and it depends on what has been done to us, how we will behave in a given situation, whether we will maintain further relations with a new person - whether he will become our colleague or friend, or whether we we prefer to bypass it by the tenth road. Even love at first sight, which is talked about so much, is based on the same first impression.

One can argue for a long time how true the first impression is. After all, it also happens that a person who is not liked at first sight eventually becomes our best friend. And the one from whom we were delighted at first, in the future will greatly disappoint us. And we will once again be convinced of the correctness of the statement: "The first impression is deceptive."

And remember what our favorite classic wrote:

“When people assure me that first impressions never deceive them, I just shrug my shoulders. In my opinion, such people are not too insightful or too presumptuous. As for me, the longer I know a person, the more mysterious he seems. And just about my oldest friends, I can say that I know absolutely nothing about them.

Curiously, the other popular writer- our contemporary, born exactly 100 years later than Maugham, - said the opposite:

"People aren't really that complex, and the first impression someone makes on us is usually the right one."

And yet there are few people who would not want to make a favorable first impression. And one of the cases when this is very important for us is an interview-interview with an employer. Especially if we want to get the job of our dreams.

"You won't get a second chance to make a first impression."

How to win over a stranger

How to spoil the first impression, many probably know. But are there any tricks that will win over a stranger, and in particular an employer?

1. Meet by clothes, but see off by mind

We have all heard this proverb a hundred times, suggesting that clothes are important, but the mind is still more important. Yes, but they are still met by clothes!

It can be said that it is a kind business card. By clothes, in most cases, we can judge the prosperity of a person, public position, his occupation, how neat he is. Equally important is its relevance to different cases life. When looking at a person in stale clothes and dirty hair, an internal rejection arises: it seems that his affairs are also neglected.

As for, it is clear that a young man applying for a solid position and coming to an interview in shorts, a bright T-shirt with a frivolous inscription and beach slippers can cause distrust among the employer.

Some people who, by occupation, have to be in public a lot, resort to the help of image makers who “think up” an image for them, depending on what they “carry to the masses”. And we are talking not only about clothes, but about the whole appearance.

For example, we came to a lecture, and we see how the lecturer, on the way to the stage, smooths his hair, pulls up his trousers or skirt, fussily looks for something in his pockets - that's it, the first impression of him is already ruined.

In the same few seconds, an observant person manages to catch the facial expressions, gestures, posture of another person. And now he can already judge how confident and independent his interlocutor is, what his self-esteem is, whether he is an optimist in life or a pessimist, etc. It is no secret that a person who radiates friendliness, goodwill and confidence will make a more favorable impression.

By the way, psychologists distinguish in human behavior, thanks to which it is possible to determine state of mind interlocutor. If we want to impress open person, then they should not cross or "close" the positions of the arms and legs. Our gestures should be smooth, and the head should be slightly raised. And vice versa, hands hidden behind the back or in pockets, crossed legs or fingers, lowered head will show our psychological closeness.

2. We speak beautifully

If we want to produce good impression, then you should pay attention to your own, because it is not without reason that it is called the second person.

Sometimes the voice conveys the character of a person so accurately that we don’t even have to see it. For example, we are talking on the phone with a stranger and hear shrill notes in his voice. In our mind, the image of an unbalanced hysterical person appears. If the speech of our interlocutor is too fast and inconsistent, then most likely we are dealing with an insecure person who is too in a hurry to express his opinion, fearing that he will be interrupted or stopped listening. The owner of a sonorous voice is usually a cheerful and positive person.

And some people are endowed with such a bewitching and magical timbre of voice that it is only thanks to him that an excellent first impression is formed about them.

A favorable impression is made by an open, inviting look. Therefore, entering into a conversation, it is important to establish and maintain with the interlocutor. Thus, we will express our interest in him and in what he says, show our sympathy and desire to continue communication.

Conversely, shifty or lowered eyes suggest that our interlocutor is insincere and is hiding something from us. Seeing his downcast look, we will think that for some reason he considers himself guilty or too depressed. True, you should not embarrass the interlocutor with a too direct, uninterrupted look. Such piercing gaze can make him think that we crave dominance and make a repulsive impression.

4. We give the interlocutor the right to speak first

Psychologists say that it is much easier to win someone's sympathy if you give him the opportunity to speak first. By this we will show our respect and interest in the interlocutor, and he will be grateful to us a hundred times for this.

The gift is quite rare, and therefore valuable. There are not so many people who listen to us without interrupting or thinking about something of their own. Therefore, we do not forget the one who shows attention to us, giving the right to the first word. And we get the most favorable impression of him as a "nice person."

5. Choose personal meetings

AT recent times meetings and interviews, for example, with the help of . And this is not surprising: employers, clients, potential employees are sometimes separated by huge distances.

On the one hand, it is very convenient. On the other hand, there are some pitfalls here. Namely: psychologists have found that it is much easier to win over a person by communicating live. And the one who seeks help modern means communication, gaining in time and money, sometimes loses in the impression that it makes on the interlocutor.

So, the researchers advise: if you really need to make a good impression, you should prefer face-to-face contacts, rather than through telephone or Internet communications.

Each person should think about what he makes the first impression, observe his behavior and habits, analyze and, if necessary, correct. After all, no matter what they say that it is deceptive, there are many situations in life when our fate depends on the first impression made by us.

Everyone knows how important it is to be able to make a first impression. This is especially true in relation to the professional environment, because based on the opinion that has developed about a person, the tone of the meeting is set, the course of the interview, or potential business relationship. That's why business people needs to be tested full confidence that the impression about them always remains positive.

So, you probably already know how to present, and you've already seen a million ways to do things. Now you need to have a clear idea of ​​how to impress people. Our today's publication will help you with this.

Keep your back straight

If you keep your back hunched while sitting in a chair, business partners I can recognize in you signs of laziness, weakness, or disinterestedness. Remember that you need to sit in negotiations with a perfectly straight back. This also applies to the standing position. Always watch your shoulders and chin. Even if the person you are dating does not attach importance to non-verbal cues, your posture will already form in your partner right opinion. Surrounding people on a subconscious level perceive a person with a straight back and a slightly raised head up as a strong personality.

Eye contact

We all know that people who do their best to avoid eye contact are nervous or unsure of themselves. However, people who are closed in themselves can easily establish contact with a partner with their eyes. Indeed, for this it is not at all necessary to stare at the interlocutor with a manic expression in the eyes. Diligence is useless here, 3-5 seconds of a calm, confident and open look is enough.

Smile

Yes, indeed, a smile can be contagious. Have you noticed how strangers, in response to your radiant smile, never remain gloomy. That is why we advise you to take care of the condition of your teeth and apply this irresistible technique at every opportunity. Smiling demonstrates to the partner on the other side of the negotiations that you are friendly and that you feel sympathy for him. Know that even after the meeting is over, your pleasant expression will remind others that you good man. Use this technique also when making acquaintances in an informal setting. A smile is what will help the interlocutor next to you feel maximum comfort and warmth.

Don't go overboard with interjections

Even if the person who communicates with you does not initially focus on the nuances of your speech, you should still not often use interjections in phrases. Constant "hmm ..." and "uh ..." on a subconscious level contribute to the formation of a negative impression of you. People will think that you are not smart enough, not experienced enough, not interesting, or not good at negotiating. If you can't control this habit, try speaking in a more slow pace. So you can form each word in advance and make a positive impression.

Get in touch first

If you easily make contact, thereby you demonstrate self-confidence, ease and ease of climbing. By taking the first step, you show a great mood and own feeling comfort in a given situation. Follow this rule, and an elementary small talk can easily transform into a real business partnership.

Conclusion

Try to make the right first impression at all times, even if you're not on business negotiations. After all, if other people this moment not interested in your services, who knows how things will turn out in the future? Therefore, whenever possible, try to follow our advice, and then knowing the secrets of communication will become a useful and productive habit for you.

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We all often want to make not just a good, but a stunning first impression. And we know that for this you need to behave at ease, call the interlocutor by name and avoid closed poses.

But, you see, sometimes this is not enough. It seems that the behavior is natural, and the arms are not crossed, but Maria Ivanovna still considers you not a couple for her son. So what else is needed?

1. Pygmalion effect

Pygmalion effect famous psychologist Robert Rosenthal named the phenomenon in which a person, being sure of something, acts in such a way as to find real confirmation of this.

If we are sure in advance that Marya Ivanovna is not a very pleasant lady and it will not work to charm her, then we will unconsciously act in such a way as to confirm this. Therefore, it is better to tune in to the fact that the person with whom you will meet will be glad to see you.

And one more thing. Based on this effect, an experiment was conducted, during which it was proved: if a person thinks that he is attractive to you, then he begins to behave more openly and friendly. So, if possible, let someone tell Marya Ivanovna before you meet that you already like her.

2. Pratfell effect

Often, in the company of unfamiliar people, we try to show ourselves with better side. We worry, we try to hide it, we worry even more and as a result we hide in the corner, dreaming of being home in our favorite bed faster. Here psychologists recommend taking into account the Pratfell effect, according to which The best way to win the favor of others is to show vulnerability, weakness, slight oversight.

In this regard, we could not help but recall the talented Jennifer Lawrence, who fell in front of almost the whole world for three years in a row, but her popularity did not suffer from this at all, but on the contrary. Although, of course, the talent of the actress played a decisive role in this.

3. Similarity attraction effect

This term belongs to the psychologist Theodore Newcomb, who established in the course of his research that the more people have common views and habits, the more they like each other. It is especially interesting that interlocutors with whom we have similarities in negative traits cause great sympathy. The case for small things: find these common ground, after all, few people, when meeting, begin to talk about themselves, especially about their shortcomings.

4. Common ground

Vanessa van Edwards, author of The Science of Communication, compares our thoughts to tangles, and common topics for conversation - with connecting threads. She thinks that There are three main categories of topics to communicate with unfamiliar people. To start a conversation, you need a phrase that opens this topic and that very connecting “thread”. We will tell you what this means, using the example of Marya Ivanovna, to whom you came for the anniversary.

• Category "People"- common acquaintances, that is, her son, for example, Pavel. Opening phrase: "Paul has an excellent ear for music».
  Thread: “What talents do you have?”
• Category "Context"- an event that connected you, that is, an anniversary. Opening phrase: "Great restaurant!"
  Thread: “Who advised him to you?”
• Category "Interests"- in fact, interests.
  Opening phrase: "I saw your photos from Greece."
  Thread: “What did you like the most there?”

Pay attention to the question threads: they should not be closed, that is, assume the answers "yes" or "no" if you want to talk to the interlocutor.

5. Talk about yourself

5 various studies confirmed: people like to talk about themselves (not so much about skeletons in the closet, but about personal experience). At such moments an area of ​​the brain that scientists call the pleasure center is activated(she is responsible for the feeling of pleasure). What's more, in one experiment, participants forfeited monetary rewards in favor of the opportunity to talk about themselves.

6. Scripting the Perfect Conversation

Experts in the field of networking useful contacts) suggest the following dialogue scenario with the person you want to like:

• "You". After shaking hands and introducing each other, some kind of general question in which you ask for the opinion of the interlocutor:
  how is the weather for you? How was the ride? How are you feeling?
• "You". At this stage, it is important to find those very connecting threads in order to learn more about the counterpart.
• "I". Here you should tell something about yourself, of course, focusing on the interests of the interlocutor.
• "You". People remember the first and last things they hear the most. Therefore, at the end of the conversation, let the opponent speak. So he will remember you as a sensitive and attentive interlocutor.

7. Name of the interlocutor

Often we do not address the interlocutor by name due to the fact that we do not remember him. Here's what you can do so as not to call Marya Ivanovna Marina Ippolitovna:

• When the interlocutor calls his name, look into his eyes and try to remember their color.
• Come up with, if you can, an association with the name (a flower, a character from a movie, literary hero).
• Compare a new acquaintance with a person who has the same name.
• After a few minutes, try to address him by his first name.

And, although you already know this, let us remind you: during the conversation, refer to the interlocutor more often by name, because it is associated with comfort, warmth, and trust.

8. Distance

Most likely, you know people who, at any opportunity, even asking to borrow a stapler, come so close that you can feel their breath. Intuitively, at such moments, we take a step back or to the side. All because the optimal distance between unfamiliar people should be at least 1.2 m (4 steps).

By getting to know each other better, you can reduce this distance, but first you should check whether the interlocutor will be comfortable. Ask him to pass you something, and if everything is fine, he will set a shorter distance between you.

9. Appearance

In choosing clothes, shoes, accessories and makeup, there are 3 basic rules that you should follow if you are going to get acquainted with a person whom you would like to make a good impression on:

But a small, but bright and even funny detail in your image is what you need. Like, for example, these socks in the photo, which almost the whole world knows, because they are worn by the Prime Minister of Canada.

Bonus: genuine smile

If the above methods can work with someone, but not with someone - after all, people are not robots to which one instruction applies, then a smile helps always and everywhere. So, no matter how trite it may sound, smile! After all, a smile is contagious, and we appreciate those who give us positive emotions.

What other qualities do you like in an interlocutor?

Is it correct to say that first impression of a person the most correct? Or vice versa, is the one who says that the first impression is deceptive right? How to produce good first impress and at the same time make correct representation about a human?

Numerous experiments and studies carried out in the West show that the first impression of a person is the most accurate and correct. Experts argue that in order to determine our relationship to to a stranger, determining the degree of its attractiveness, we need up to 4 minutes.

It’s hard to argue here, for the most part we all pay attention to the first impression, and it is this that affects our further perception of a person. If you are one hundred percent trusting your instinct, your intuition, then you will not open up to a person who did not like you at first sight. Therefore, if it is important for you to establish the right connections, strike up an acquaintance with a specific person, pay attention to creating a good first impression.

How to make a first impression

To make a good first impression on specific person, the main thing you need to know is that a person chooses his friends in his own image. That is, whether a person will like you or not depends on the degree of similarity of your characters, interests and outlook on life. Even outward resemblance has an impact on the first impression. Therefore, the moment of adjustment to the interlocutor is important here (you can learn more about what the attachment technique is from the article - “ Ways to manipulate a person»).

Knowing the person in absentia, you can prepare for the meeting. But there are also universal first impression rules, to know and take into account which, in order to present yourself in best light beneficial and beneficial.

Pay attention to appearance

The appearance and image of a person is what we pay attention to first of all.

An important component of the design of appearance is the style of clothing, which is considered as an image of a person's own "I". Assessing the style of a person’s clothing, and making a first impression about him, we pay attention to such features as:

• The neatness of clothes. A poorly dressed person usually evokes sympathy and a desire to help him, while a slovenly and untidy person - rejection and disgust;
• Appropriate clothing for the situation. It is clear that a tracksuit is not suitable for a business meeting, it looks ridiculous and may cause distrust among others. It is just as ridiculous to go to a club in a three-piece suit, or to a dinner party in ripped jeans.
• Compliance with established stereotypes. If you are a representative business world, give preference to a conservative style, if you are a person creative profession your appearance should speak of independence and individuality.

Assessing the attractiveness of a person, and forming the first impression of him, many pay attention to his face (look, smile, expression). An expressive face that radiates calmness, confidence and goodwill is considered attractive.

Posture plays an important role in the formation of the first impression. Good posture speaks of the confidence and optimism of a person, of his inner strength. Poor posture is a manifestation of low self-esteem, subordination and dependence.

An important factor in the first impression is movement and gestures. What you don't talk about shows up in them. A person feels tense or free by his gait. Gestures, body reaction will give out your temperament and state of mind.

• Open gestures speak of the desire for communication, of psychological openness. They appear in uncrossed and open positions of arms and legs, in a slightly raised head. If the hands are in motion, then these gestures are usually soft, smooth and rounded.
• Closed gestures indicate psychological closeness. They appear in the crossing of arms and legs, in the “lock position”, when the fingers are clenched into a fist. The head is lowered, the look is frowning, the hands can be hidden (under the table, in pockets, behind the back, etc.), all this looks like a defensive position.

Harmony in appearance how do you understand this combination of many various factors. Keep this in mind when establishing contacts with people.

In many ways, the voice is a reflection of a person's character. The way we speak affects our image in the eyes of others. We subconsciously, and even consciously associate the sound of the voice with specific characteristic features personality. Even at moments when we do not see the interlocutor, but only hear him (for example, talking on the phone), we still form some kind of idea about him.

A shrill voice is associated with the hysteria of a person and his imbalance. fast and slurred speech betrays an insecure person. The languor of the voice says that the person is sensual, but cautious. A fool may seem the one whose voice sounds sluggish. On the positive attitude, a sonorous voice indicates cheerfulness. And the voice of some people is so beautiful that you don’t even understand what they are saying.

We get a significant part of the first impression from the rhythm of speech and the timbre of the voice. In addition, analyzing the style and content, it is easy to get an idea of ​​the cultural level of a person. You can also tell by the voice life experience human about the degree of its development.

Learn to present yourself properly.

People rarely use self-promotion and self-promotion in order to express yourself. But it renders essential role in producing positive first impression. Self-presentation is the ability to focus the attention of other people on their own obvious merits and put aside your shortcomings. But you should not immediately talk about all your merits and virtues, it is better to try to win the favor of your new acquaintance with eloquence, originality of judgments, wit.

Show genuine interest in the other person

Even Dale Carnegie said that the most significant person for any person is himself. So, when you decide to demonstrate your charm, show a sincere interest in the person with whom you communicate. Ask him a couple of minor questions and be prepared to listen to a detailed answer (this will come in handy ability to listen to the interlocutor), do not interrupt. Show your interest in what he has to say. Be kind, but don't be coy!

Don't be intrusive

Do not rush things, for the first meeting it will be enough to have a neutral - restrained conversation. Do not immediately puzzle a person with requests or offer something. If the interlocutor says to you “Goodbye, it was nice to meet you,” do not insist on continuing the conversation.

Don't lie, only tell the truth

If you don't know the answer to a question being asked, be honest about it. Such frankness makes a good first impression and inspires only respect. Do not ascribe to yourself non-existent qualities and virtues, anyway, in the future you will have to admit that at the first meeting you exaggerated a little.

You won't get a second chance to make a first impression. It doesn't matter whether job interview, business meeting or first date, remember that first impression will remain for a long time, and a long time must pass before new information can change it.

P.S. Each of us has experienced wrong first impressions. It happens that at first people appear before us almost in the guise of an angel, but on examination they turn out to be unworthy. And vice versa, a person who did not make a worthy impression on us at the beginning becomes a best friend in the future. No one is immune from a mistake, but in order to avoid it, a person must be given a second chance, no matter what the first impression of him has been.

P.S.S. People who are accustomed to judging a person by specific cases, do not attach special attention first impression. This must also be taken into account.

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Don't know how to impress others? Introducing effective advice from psychologists who distinguish you from the gray mass!

Everyone probably knows that our body is able to give out any information about us, even against our will.

Body language tells the truth, even if we are lying.

Knowing this feature, many employees of recruitment companies have the basics of body language.

Such people know perfectly well whether we are afraid or nervous!

Often we feel awkward in an unfamiliar environment or in a responsible situation.

And wondering how to impress, we start looking for ways to change body language.

In fact, there are certain gestures that are conducive to conversation, as well as convincing the opponent of your self-confidence.

How to impress - instructions

To make an impression, you need:

• to smile
• look into the eyes
• stop slouching
• don't put your hands in your pockets
• be well dressed
• don't close
• be calm
• stop flickering.

And now we will analyze it all in more detail.

A smile always impresses

A smile is a symbol of a happy person.

A smile, as it were, indicates that you are not afraid of anything, you feel like a fish in water, it comes from you.

Smiling people radiate from the inside and win you over.

Stop shrinking

A confident person will never slouch or hunch over.

He will also never drag his feet.

Try to straighten your shoulders, straighten up and smile.

You will immediately see how the world will change and sparkle with colors.

Let the interlocutor look away, not you

Confident and impressing person never hides anything.

He does not hide his eyes, but calmly withstands any glance of the opponent.

Looking your opponent in the eyes, you convince him of the sincerity of your intentions.

Impressive people keep their hands in plain sight

Always keep your hands in sight.

By hiding your hands behind your back, you give your opponent a reason to doubt your words.

Most best way out- Keep your hands on your knees or in a calm and relaxed state.

Be sure to take care of your appearance

Tell me, do you like unwashed people with unkempt hair and dirty clothes?

That's what other people don't like!

Of course, now you can argue that American women don't even comb their hair in the morning.

Now tell me, how successful are such American women?

Do not know?

So never look back at anyone.

Take care of yourself and watch your wardrobe!

Tranquility is the best friend of a good experience

90% of people often twitch their leg during an important conversation.

They may also swing their arms too actively. All these gestures distract from uncertainty, but they do not make the best impression on the interlocutor.

Any person by such gestures will immediately guess about the nervousness of the interlocutor and may begin to get nervous himself.

In such a situation, it certainly will not work to impress!

Always be open

Arms crossed on the chest signal that a person is closed, or that the topic of conversation may be unpleasant.

When interviewing or communicating with a client, you should not take a similar pose.

It will not bring benefits, but it can push a person away from you.

Stop flickering

The bulk of people during a conversation tries to turn something in their hands, constantly straightens their hair or grabs their face.

All these gestures signal a person's insecurity.

Therefore, during any important conversation, it will be more correct to take control of your hands.

You can not?

Grab a folder!

This little trick will help you look more serious and confident.

For girls!

To impress a guy- be versatile!

A person who constantly develops, keeps up with the times, goes to various trainings and seminars, learns to cook deliciously (to surprise others with different goodies every day), or takes vocal lessons - will ALWAYS have an interest in his personality!

And finally, I want to offer a useful video,

where only 5 tips are given on how to make a good impression on people!

In conclusion, I would like to tell you that it is simply impossible to please absolutely everyone.

However, in some situations, we just need to impress the interlocutor.

It is in such situations that you tune in to the positive, smile, and the scales will definitely tip in your favor.

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