Have you ever felt desire do something, contrary to common sense, urging you to stop? Have you ever had unusual trembling inside the body and sucking in the spoon when you thought you knew exactly what to do? Did you hear a quiet, almost wordless whisper in your head that set you in the right mood, suggesting the right decision? Don't be afraid to answer "Yes", no one will consider you a crazy person. It's just... that's how our feelings speak to us. But then a couple immediately arise additional questions What exactly are our senses trying to tell us? Is it worth listening to this inner voice at all?
The topic of intuition has already been raised on the pages of our site and options have been proposed on how to develop it. However, the very phenomenon of intuition was considered in the context of the fact that it is supposedly our soul gives us some clues. This time we invite you to learn about some of the signs of intuition that psychologists have tried to link with quite specific emotions and physical sensations.
Sixth sense or ordinary physiology?
Probably, all people experienced the feeling when they knew about some thing in advance, although they had never encountered it in their lives until that moment. Explanations for this phenomenon, as a rule, cannot be found, although some of these strange manifestations can even save our lives. For example, you hesitated for a second at a pedestrian crossing, lingering on the sidewalk, and the next second a great speed a truck that appeared out of the ground. Or you suddenly decided to suddenly take a different route from work to home, which you have never taken before, but it turns out that on a new path you will meet your love. And how thousands of people who play on the stock exchange risk every day - after all, not all of them are guided by indicators and quotes, some simply blindly believe in luck and their intuition.
If only it were possible to understand exactly where these obscure vague signs, desires, forebodings are pushing us! It turns out that it is not so unrealistic - to learn to understand them. You just need to understand the principle - what exactly to focus your attention on, and what should be ignored: palms sweat sharply, a sucking feeling suddenly appeared in the stomach or a feeling of anxiety rolled over - what is physiology and what is simple suspiciousness?
According to numerous researchers, there is much more material in intuition than is commonly believed. Ph.D, American psychologist David Myers believes that our right hemisphere the brain is always tuned to read the body's intuitive signals, while left hemisphere engaged in his "conscious" work. That is why in many cases only our body is able to fix the signals of intuition and the brain can remain blissfully ignorant.
According to another theory, we can feel the approach of certain events thanks to our dopamine neurons. Another American psychologist Jonah Lehrer I am sure that it is the change in the level of dopamines that allows us to fix some approaching events. Allegedly, we feel them subconsciously, and thus, our body responds with the production of hormones.
But how to choose which manifestations are worth believing and which are not, which are worth paying attention to and which are not? PhD and psychologist from Los Angeles Judith OrloffJudith Orloff, who is concerned about this issue, believes that it is necessary to take into account absolutely all signals, but only maintaining a certain balance between the conscious and the unconscious will help you learn how to interpret the signs correctly. The next time we feel something similar, we can calmly consider this sign and accept the right decision. But it turns out that there is at least five characters, over the decoding of which you no longer need to bother. Dr. Orloff and many other scientists have deciphered from the meaning and now offer you to familiarize yourself with their research. So, when should we listen to our intuition?
When you feel like something is wrong with your body
According to Orloff, it is precisely trying to listen and hear the signals of your body that is the most important part studies of intuition and its signs. "Your body is powerful mechanism for transmitting intuitive signals she explains. - Intuition can help you feel the very first signs of the body when something is wrong in it. If you think you've been poisoned or caught a cold - although there are no obvious signs of feeling unwell yet - pay attention to these signals. Try to understand what really happened or is about to happen". Orloff has conducted numerous studies among students University of California in Los Angeles (University of California at Los Angeles) and concluded: most people who ignore the unconscious feeling of impending malaise are mistaken. This small feeling that "something is wrong" then necessarily manifests itself in a serious and long-term illness.
Of course, not only premonitions, but also physical symptoms have great importance. "If you suddenly feel overwhelmed by being around certain person, or in some company, this is also a signal of intuition, which also cannot be ignored", - Orloff is sure. In her opinion, this may mean that you are faced with the so-called energy vampire that sucks the energy out of you. Or some situation may require more energy what your body produces this moment time. If you regularly find yourself in a similar situation or similar environment - for example, at work - then you will very soon fall into a deep depression and, as a result, you can become seriously ill.
Doctor Ronald A. Alexander, another famous psychologist from California and an expert in the field of study human consciousness, also recommends paying attention to the physical sensations of your body at the time of your communication with someone. He even brought history from own experience when, while traveling in India, he suddenly decided not to get into a taxi because of "unbearable sensation of sucking in the pit of the stomach". Some time later, being railway station, he suddenly saw the driver of this very taxi being detained by the police, charging that he robbed his passengers. Ronald is sure that his intuition manifests itself in similar sensations in the chest or in the stomach. He is sure that there is nothing unusual here, since the alimentary tract contains the so-called enteric part of the autonomic nervous system , which many call the "second brain". "This second brain is the real intuitive brain", - Dr. Alexander is sure, convincing that such signals should always be listened to.
When you feel like you're in danger
According to Dr. Meers, the feelings that you have in relation to a particular person in the first 10 seconds of communication can be called "ancient biological knowledge" . And he's right - if ancient man it was possible to quickly identify an enemy (or friend) in a stranger, his chances of surviving in the event of a meeting with the enemy increased. Miers is sure that our opinion, formed during the first seconds of communication, based just on ancient experience ancestors, the remnants of which are preserved in us and work inside us almost constantly.
On the other hand, it cannot be denied that it is always human nature to evaluate new people, and this assessment is not always objective which, by the way, can lead to fatal consequences. For example, I recall the story that took place in 1999 in New York, when the police stopped a man with the appearance of a Guinean for an identity check. Then he seemed very suspicious to them, and was shot as soon as he reached for his pocket. But the man was just trying to pull out an identity card!
Dr. Orloff and other experts believe that in the formation of the wrong first opinion are to blame social conditions, or rather, social environment
, which helps to form false stereotypes in people, such as: all people are brothers; or vice versa - man is a wolf to man. These false stereotypes can lead to false first impressions and, ultimately, to wrong decision. Orloff encourages us to test our premonitions as outside the context of our rational thinking as possible. In addition, there are some simple ways to find out if the signals you receive are really warning you of danger.
"If you don't believe someone, and in the end it turned out that you were wrong, you should still pay attention to those signs that made you make such a decision , says Orloff. - For example, you are walking down a dark alley at night, and a man comes out to meet you. Inner voice, who advises to go to the other side of the street, may be wrong. But even so, it's best to cross the street.".
When you feel like someone needs help
By studying our instincts and intuitive manifestations, it may be believed that a person uses these signals as some kind of beacons warning of danger. Meanwhile, Humans have a very powerful ability to sense when our fellow man needs help.. Unfortunately, many prefer not to pay attention to these sensations, but it is also impossible to deny their presence. "Empathy is one of the basic human instincts, which has developed so much in the process of evolution that allows us to feel what other people feel" , - says the psychologist Lehrer.
It is thanks to evolution that we do not always need words in order to receive information of any information from someone. Sometimes there are enough numerous subtle signals that our faces unconsciously give. For example, the same instinct of empathy makes us intuitively feel the need to change the subject in a conversation with unfamiliar person when we talk, for example, on the topic of divorce. And it turns out that your interlocutor is just now in a state of divorce, and this topic is really not very pleasant for him. And this is just one, the most everyday example of numerous examples human manifestation of an instinctive feeling of empathy. Perhaps it is something that we see in the faces of the people around us that sometimes makes us open our wallet and give alms, although before that we could have a principle "never give to the poor". Simple Experiments demonstrate that the study by subjects of photographs of the faces of people in misfortune evokes much more sympathy and pity than the saddest and harshest statistics of incidents heard on the radio or read in the newspaper.
It often turns out that this ability to "read faces" does not benefit those who are imbued with sympathy because they become victims of scammers. Some people are so good at manipulating our feelings and emotions that it only takes a few words with them to have you give away a lot of money purely out of compassion. Moreover, one study showed that the process of donating money brings people a certain pleasure, as it involves the areas of the brain responsible for pleasure.
When thoughts interfere with your instincts
Have you ever wondered why this happens: for example, a great football player makes his way to the opponent's goal, deceives the goalkeeper, no one bothers him, everyone is sure that there will be a goal, he hits an empty net and ... as a result, miss! Another point is that an experienced driver suddenly makes a completely stupid mistake when parking, scratching his car and the car of a neighbor. Or you may be great at preparing certain dishes, and when you are asked to help prepare them for a very serious and responsible dinner, dish unexpectedly fails. It is about our ability to do something that has developed to such an extent that we do it already on an instinctive level. And suddenly the day comes when our instincts fail us, and we can't handle what we can do, it seems, with eyes closed. Psychologists say that at such times, our thoughts prevented us from doing what we do best..
Lehrer believes that sports-related examples are the most telling. It is there that most of the interactions between trained skills and thoughts take place, which suddenly destroy everything, preventing you from scoring a goal, giving a pass, setting a record. Some say they couldn't handle the excitement. And what is excitement, if not the same thoughts - "Will I succeed or not?"?
Simple experiments that were carried out by experts University of Chicago(University of Chicago), showed that novice golfers fared much better than more experienced golfers when both groups were asked to...comment on their performance as they played.
It turns out that rational thinking brings more benefit newcomers who have not yet developed sufficient muscle skills, and whose technique is still lame. But for experienced players who have already developed their skills so much that they do not need preliminary analysis what needs to be done, it is better to turn off unnecessary thoughts. They act in a destructive way on their skills when people begin to think about what they instinctively and very successfully performed over the years.
"If you are already a great specialist in some area, then trust your emotions and instincts who tell you that you can do it, and not listen to the thoughts that swarm in your head, distracting you", advises Lehrer. The next time you are tempted to question the correctness of doing something that you do automatically at the skill level, use distraction methods. It can be anything - suddenly hum (mentally or out loud) the words from your favorite song that you don't need to remember, but which are always spinning in your head. By distracting your mind with something that is not related to what you want to do, you thereby give yourself the opportunity to work cleanly and without errors.
When you are sure that this is what you need
When your intuition sends you a signal that you have found what you have been looking for for a long time (or the person you have been looking for for a long time), the choice becomes quite clear. "You feel like you're doing everything right; you feel like everything is going great, that everything is going well; it doesn't look like a forced decision, you don't have any internal conflict, human when in doubt", says Dr. Orloff.
Dr. Lehrer agrees that when we have to make a big choice, to make a big decision that will have lasting consequences - for example, to decide on marriage, choosing between two partners - the most correct decision is the one that was made with the help of intuition. Examining numerous results of research devoted to the study of the mechanisms of making conscious decisions, Lehrer came to the conclusion that you should choose the option of the two that causes you the least thoughts and doubts.
According to Lehrer, rational thinking is really useful only when you have to choose between two very specific things - for example, between two brands of cars. In situations in which only one or two truly important factors, the prefrontal cortex is able to deduce by reflection the full benefits of each of them and make the right informed decision. But there are many situations where many factors are involved that make it difficult to make decisions - the same choice of partner, or buying a house, and so on. In this case, our prefrontal cortex is not able to make the right decision. And in this case, it would be wrong to rely only on your brain in search of the only correct solution.
Numerous studies have confirmed the presence common sense in, to take many serious decisions guided by emotions. For example, in one of the studies, German scientists filmed with a hidden camera the buyers of a large hypermarket where you can buy anything. Scientists for a long time observed how customers behave in the store, choosing a product. Then they were interviewed, as a result of which the researchers came to interesting conclusions: those buyers who spent less time making a purchase decision were ultimately satisfied with their purchases in much more time. more than those who thought for a long time in front of the counter. Of course, choosing a sofa is not the same as choosing a husband or wife, but both processes provoke a surge thought process, which, in the end, prevents you from making a choice, or makes you do incorrect choice
. If at this moment you listen to the voice of your intuition, then in most cases it will help you make a decision that you will be happy with in the end.
In fact, of all the cases that arise in our lives, and in which our instincts and our intuition are involved, this is the case when it should be listened to in the first place. Often, if you follow such a decision-making policy, it can help bring your life to a completely different quality level.
"This allows you to choose later those relationships which suit you best and not those that look good from the outside, says Dr. Orloff. - This allows you to choose people to associate with at will. own heart. This allows you to accumulate great experience acceptance right decisions , which will allow you to continue to take similar solutions accurately".
Question to a psychologist
Tell me please, is it possible to feel that a person loves you to feel it with his soul, I don’t know what is happening to me, but I apparently fell in love, I don’t even know this person, he works in a store next to my house, when I go there I always look at him and he looks at me, I think about him every minute without doing anything, I’m even jealous of him, I try to find him somewhere, and when I see him I’m very worried and somehow I feel in my soul that he is a dear and familiar person to me, but although I don't even know him personal traits and I don’t particularly like his appearance, they tell the truth that if I think about this person they mean and he thinks about me But I’m generally wondering, can you really feel it when they constantly think about you? And what exactly do you feel? And does the distance at which we are able to catch someone else's thought matter? Or is it all inaccessible ordinary person, which does not have any supernatural powers? What happens to me then? Please share your thoughts on this. thanks in advance
Hello Nastya! You are in love with a man and, it seems, so much that you want to be wishful thinking. In your dreams, you would like to have a relationship with your lover. But in reality you don't communicate. Most likely, he does not even suspect that you have strong feelings for him.
But I’m generally wondering, can you really feel it when they constantly think about you? And what exactly do you feel? And does the distance at which we are able to catch someone else's thought matter?
If he is not in love with you, then most likely he does not even think about you and does not feel anything. Judging by your letter, the young man does not seek to get closer to you, which means that you are not particularly interesting to him yet.
I’m trying to find him somewhere, and when I see him I’m very worried and somehow I feel in my soul that he is a dear and familiar person to me, and although I don’t even know him
You fell in love with your own fantasies about a man, with his image. For building real relationship it's not very good.
What happens to me then?
Nastya, you really want to be convinced of the reciprocity of feelings for you of a person with whom you contact only with a glance. By the way, why only with a glance? What prevents you from making direct contact with a person and finding out everything directly? Why do you need this game of feelings at a distance, how does it help you, and how does it hinder you? What can I say about super abilities and opportunities human body and souls, well, of course they are, well, take at least only intuition, why not super ability, right? However, sometimes all these feelings more than replace such human qualities as: determination, resourcefulness, confidence, determination and of course they should be developed.
Ecology of relationships: If there is a crisis in a relationship, you need to deal with it. It is important to understand what binds you and to realize that love cannot always be as strong as at the beginning. Many break up when the inspiring feeling and passion passes.
How to understand that love has passed? When should you break up? Photo: thinkstockphotos.com
If there is a crisis in a relationship, you need to deal with it. It is important to understand what binds you and to realize that love cannot always be as strong as at the beginning. Many break up when the inspiring feeling and passion passes.
However, over time, feelings inevitably become calmer, while you discover new sides in a person, get to know him.
How to understand that love is really gone?
7 signs that feelings are gone
1. The first sign is irritation. You begin to annoy the habits, the behavior of the once loved person. You suddenly notice that you don't like the way he smells, the way he smiles. Point out flaws in his appearance.
2. You are less likely to want to spend time together. You are not in a hurry to get home from work, each of you meets with your friends, and joint leisure does not bring joy and pleasure.
3. You moved away from each other - you stopped sharing your innermost thoughts, impressions, you began to communicate less often, you often become bored and even painful in the company of your partner.
4. Gone sexual attraction. If sex has become perceived as a duty, does not bring much pleasure - this is a bad sign.
5. You began to be indifferent to quarrels - do not seek reconciliation, do not try to figure it out.
6. The person stopped occupying your thoughts. During the day at work, you may never think about it. You do not care about his problems and experiences - you just stopped thinking and caring about him.
7. Finally, imagine that the person you are with is seriously ill. Of course, such thoughts ordinary life you have to get rid of yourself. But it is worth considering whether you are ready to take care of a very sick person, whether you are ready to sacrifice something for him. Ask yourself and answer the question honestly. So you can appreciate the depth of your feelings.
Do not cling to a relationship if love has long grown into a habit of being together. Living with an unloved person, you only torment each other. Listen to yourself, and if you do not find in your soul the desire to maintain relationships and revive feelings, it's time to leave.
Consider whether you are continuing the relationship because you are afraid of being alone. Perhaps you are afraid that you will not meet best person. Or the very prospect of finding your soul mate scares you. In any case, it makes no sense to continue such a relationship - this is a road to nowhere. Find the strength to let go.
What relationship should be ended?
In what other situations should you think about breaking up?
If your relationship is built on control and manipulation. Do not let a person subdue you and control your every step. If you are faced with such an example of oppressive influence, it is better to end the relationship.
If the partner does not respect you - constantly belittles you, criticizes your appearance and actions, makes unconstructive remarks.
If for some reason a person is embarrassed by your relationship - he does not take you with him to the company, does not want to introduce you to friends, keeps your relationship secret. The person you love should be proud of you.
Of course, saying “goodbye” to a person with whom many memories are associated is not easy. Make this decision with confidence that you are doing the right thing.published
Feelings of a man when he gets close to a woman is an interesting and exciting topic. The fair sex has always been curious to know what a man feels when he enters a woman, because many dreamed of at least once being in the place of a sexual partner. And the men shared revelations about how they feel when they enter a woman.
Five basic feelings during sexual contact with a partner
- Aesthetic pleasure with visual perception sweetheart. The curves of the woman's body, her look and emotions play significant role in the process intimacy. Men love with their eyes - this is a confirmed truth. When contemplating a naked woman, in men, the sexual desire. At this moment, they cannot think of anything else; forget about everyday problems. A rush of blood to the genitals is immediately felt, accompanied by pleasant sensations in the lower abdomen.
- Touch. A man touches a woman's body and feels the tenderness of her skin. Realizes that the partner is fragile and sensitive. The sense of touch induces to behave affectionately and caringly, to avoid rough and clumsy actions. It is important that a man feel confident and comfortable, otherwise intimacy will be regarded only as physical contact. Touch and accompanying feelings will not happen in this case - everything will be crossed out by excessive excitement.
- Smell and taste. What does a man feel when he wants a woman? The answer is obvious - he smells her, goes crazy with pheromones, wants to “hide” in her hair ... At every opportunity, he tries to touch his beloved, establish with her eye contact, merge into a kiss. Men are subconsciously attracted to women's pheromones. There comes a feeling similar to euphoria, a real delusion of pleasant emotions. There may be intense pulsation in the temples, redness of the face from strong excitement.
- auditory perception. Languid moans, vulgar words and screams of a sexual partner are proof that she enjoys the process. A man, when he enters the woman he loves, dreams of satisfying her. Moans introduce him into an intoxicating state - he wants to speed up his movements and not take his eyes off his partner. All muscles tense, blood rushes to the limbs, breathing and pulse quicken. The partner's voice has an exciting effect on a man.
Feelings of a man during sexual contact
This is the most interesting - what does a man feel when he enters a woman?
- Anguish, increasing tension and pleasant tingling in the genital area.
- Feelings of warmth that “spreads” throughout the body.
- Pulsation in the lower abdomen, which increases markedly at the time of orgasm.
- An exhilarating relaxing feeling at the finish line, kind of like diving into a hot bath.
- With a strong orgasm, it can ring in the ears.
If the partner decides to limit herself to kissing and is not ready for intimacy, an excited man cannot get sexual release. With an unsatisfied desire, men feel pain and slight heaviness in the genital area. This is for women who like to tease their beloved, and then refuse him!
