Life is full of attachments. Into one beautiful moment you suddenly realize that you have already forgotten how it is to live without a huge burden on your shoulders, how it is to be a bully. And you don't know how to become it again.
You are tightly attached to people, opinions, various trinkets, hopelessly dependent on time, money. So is it any wonder you're not very happy?
But wise Tibetan monks teach that happiness is in small things. The less attachment, the more peace inside, the closer you are to your essence.
So don't think about the judgments of others anymore.
How many people live, judge so much. Just firmly tell yourself that you don't give a damn about their precious opinions.
And stop thinking how much you are like others. If you look up to glossy supermodels, then you will begin to consider yourself the last kikimora. If to be like ordinary people you will gradually forget who you really are. single standard, the single role model for you should be yourself.
Don't worry about extra pounds. Life is too short not to go off the scale, count the calories eaten ten times a day and look with envy at the shining, silicone, disproportionate anorexics in a fashion magazine. Don't be afraid of calories - they are very easy to burn, all you need to do is run a little in the park. Feel free to indulge yourself with fried chicken or barbecue. Well, the truth is, if you have bulimia, then you should not follow this advice.
In our age, social networks are the real root of evil. So if you don't want to be upset to tears because of the horrible pictures of you drunk in smoke that your ex posted, quickly get rid of all random Facebook friends and hypocritical Twitter followers. After all, they all willingly arrange a wide repost of compromising photos.
Yes, yes, real indifference is to find the strength in yourself to get rid of "friends", from which there is nothing but trouble. Sit, think about who your real faithful friends. Take them with you to your indifferent future, and put a bold cross on the rest of the "comrades".
Inept partners - well, what good are they to you? Why waste precious time and nerves on guys who think only of themselves and are also inept in bed?
Wouldn't it be better to chat with friends or try to find a normal, self-confident partner with a sense of humor, a bit of romanticism, and a bit familiar with the Kama Sutra wisdom? A partner willing to learn and listen?
Well, what about your "almost" exes? Why are you holding on to them so much? In the words of Shakespeare's Lady Macbeth, "What's done is done." Grabbing your ex with your teeth is the same as not cutting your nails for a long time. Just cut them, or they will break and hurt you.
Remember: time is not a healer at all, but a huge enemy.
If you constantly think about the future or regret the past, you will never live in the present, here and now.
Let the beating of your living passionate heart become your guide, and not the inexorable ticking of the dead. mechanical watch. Just go to hell with all this dead mechanics.
Send the fleeting fashion there. Different "trends", fashion gadgets are very reminiscent of Kim Kardashian. At first, it seems to be the limit of perfection, but you won’t blink an eye, how the streets and trams are full of these perfections. And now you somehow don’t really want to have such forms or physiognomy.
Don't care about insecurity and remorse
Uncertainty is paralyzing. It makes you look like an elephant in a zoo, chained to its cage.
Just start acting, even if you become like an elephant in a china shop. Well, do not care, the dishes in this shop are bad, why feel sorry for her?
Yes, do not think about all this broken dishes, about all your mistakes and misdeeds. Life is too short to constantly regret mistakes made, remember missed chances. And don't touch the bitter cup of guilt. Drain the bowl to the bottom? All this is nonsense. Just throw it away, put aside all regrets and move on with your life.
Drop doubts. By the way, they are very reminiscent of chicken pox. It's not hard to pick her up. But getting rid of smallpox is much more difficult - you can’t pick it out of your face with your nails. So just drive doubts away until they are well settled in your head. Life will be much easier for you then.
Such is human psychology.
Everything ideal lives in dreams, but the path to reality is closed to it. You grew up and began to believe in it. But if everyone thought so, then we would remain troglodytes who are afraid to stick their nose out of their cave. Remember, when you were little, the world was full of surprises, rich in pleasant surprises. Even the most disgusting and terrible things your imagination turned into something interesting. So to hell with adult rationalism and pragmatism together. Relive your imagination, look at the world again with the unclouded eyes of a child. Sing, dance, clap your hands whenever you want. Smile when you smile, cry when you cry. Don't you know that childish spontaneity is indifference!
Don't care for all established views
I know that I don't know anything
Socrates
And you went to hell with all your views. Ask questions and don't be afraid to look stupid. That is how you will discover new truths. Become " eternal student”, an eternal newcomer who is interested in everything. Discover America, invent a bicycle. To hell with any professionalism. Only an amateur can see more, move further.
When you were little, you may have wanted to be an actress, a journalist, or a top model. You did not become them, but most importantly, you believed that you could. Bring back that feeling
Get rid of skepticism.
Break all inner limitations. To hell with the brakes and self-censorship.
Dream big again.
Right now is recruiting pioneer colonists on Mars. Believe me, it is those who do not care who are the first to fly to the red planet. All the rest will work internal brakes. Do you want to fly? Become a jerk - you fly off.
And finally, to hell with constancy
Just yesterday you liked such cozy and homely plush toys. And today you fell out of love with them. And great! You do not stand still, you are in motion, your life is a process, not static. Constancy and static in hell - a real nihilist is light, nothing holds him. So arrange for a brutal reprisal over the plushies. Do not feel sorry for anyone - neither cute bunnies, nor darling bear cubs, nor charming kittens. Now you change and set the rules of the game. Now you're a fagot...
The modern rhythm of life leaves its mark on society. Constant stress, lack of money, lack of sleep and even bad weather contribute to the deterioration of the psycho-emotional background. To become happy man, it is important to treat circumstances with healthy indifference.
FEATURES OF DIFFERENCE
We assume that many are ready to prove more than once or twice that indifference is bad, that it borders on selfishness clean water and does not bring any benefit. In many ways, of course, they are right: absolute indifference, when a person is equally indifferent both to others and to himself, is really not very useful, and first of all for the most absolute indifference, who loses too much with his all-encompassing indifference. And yet we undertake to assert that to cope with many unpleasant life situations it helps indifference. And we do not refuse the words stated at the very beginning of the book: "We all don't care at heart." The only question is to what extent do not care.
The president is largely a fatalist. For example, you have to fly on an airplane. You know that they sometimes fall down and that makes you afraid. You are afraid to fly, the road to the airport reminds you of the way to the scaffold, and the flight itself becomes a serious test for your psyche.
And what about the poof? He is not only completely relaxed, but also enjoys the flight. His logic is simple - why worry if you this case still doesn't matter? It is better to enjoy the journey, throwing stupid thoughts out of the mind.
This is healthy indifference that saves nerves and mental health. At the same time, it is worth noting a very interesting point: in practice, nihilists rarely get into disasters and other unpleasant situations. There is a completely logical explanation for this: without worrying about trifles, such a person does not waste psychic energy on heavy thoughts. Which, in turn, significantly increases his intuition.
That is why it is easier for a person who does not care to avoid a plane crash than for someone who is terribly afraid of flying. He simply will not get on a plane that is destined to crash - something will definitely happen that will prevent him from flying this flight. This is how it manifests itself high level personal power accumulated as a result of the absence of empty experiences.
HEALTHY AND UNHEALTHY INFORMATION
Healthy rational don't give a fuck be honest with yourself and do not avoid difficulties. Even if they come to the decision not to do anything in this situation, then the inner work on accepting themselves SUCH is going on, accepting their feelings, their mature assessment.
Unhealthy bullshit characterized by the fact that a person does not experience the negative that happened to him to the end. He does not extract experience from mistakes, devalues and life lessons, and myself as a person capable of assimilating them. Unfinished business, unexplained relationships, halted development - this is what accompanies an immature, unhealthy nihilist.
Those who are dissatisfied with their lives, their emotional reaction to difficulties that seem to be tempering, and they "safely" cause depression and suicidal thoughts. Such people, if they do nothing with themselves, spoil the life of those around them with their eternally sour face, poor health, pessimism and irritation at everyone and everything. The especially advanced come to fatalism and passive humility.
But… Humility, especially without inner work- not the indifference they crave.
A real rational nihilist will not panic, rush from despair to depression, he will contemplate life in all its diversity, accept it, rejoice in the little and not regret the failed. Without fuss, without screaming, he goes through life without bending or bending. A healthy nihilist always draws conclusions and remembers common sense.
“Everything will pass, this will pass!” - was written on the ring of the ancient infidel King Solomon. And rightly so, you can become such reasonable rational nihilists. Why worry about what you can't change? Take life easier and it will turn to you on the bright side.
And I note that in this philosophy there is absolutely no disregard for people. People for a nihilist are teachers, not a community of vests for tears, manipulators and emotional vampires. He will easily part with some, because they cannot teach him anything.
HOW TO DEVELOP A HEALTHY DIFFERENCE
To become a bully, you need to learn how to get rid of unnecessary worries. Use logic - what's the point of worrying about what's in this moment does not depend on you? Convince yourself that you will think about it when the time is right, and push the worries away.
Don't try to keep everything under control, it won't work anyway. Relax, learn to rest. Divide your time into work and leisure time. Don't be a workaholic - after all, you don't live to work. There are other interests in life as well. Do something interesting, find a hobby. Invite friends, sit in the evening in good company.
Pay more attention to the beauty of the world around you, drive away all the negativity. At least for a while, forget about crime thrillers and dramas - watch comedies, musicals, cartoons. Everything that can cheer you up, inspire vivacity and optimism.
If something is bothering you, you cannot get away from heavy thoughts, ask yourself - what will happen if the most negative forecast comes true? Then accept the possible negative outcome, no matter how difficult they may be. Get used to it, recognize it as already taken place. And if so, you have nothing to worry about. The ability to accept any outcome, even the most negative one, is one of characteristic features healthy bullshit.
Believe in your lucky star, in your luck, in patronage higher powers- this is one of better ways deal with anxiety. Everything will be fine, there is no reason to worry. Think about the good, drive the negative, and the most brilliant prospects will open before you.
1. Create your own rules. This is important, because people most often experience dissatisfaction when they are not "like everyone else." Who are these all? Why are they better? There is no "Everyone", there is only you and your desires. A little selfish, but let it bother someone else.
2. Accept the fact that perfection does not exist and the ideal does not exist. These are just inventions of those who consider themselves and their affairs to be ideal. But this is their ideal and you do not have to admire what others like.
3. If you can't change the situation, change your attitude towards it. There are many people who are doing worse than you. Only death cannot be bypassed and corrected, and everything else can be solved.
4. Don't be jealous. Never envy anyone. Maybe someone's uncle is a millionaire, maybe a lover, it's none of your business. They are not to blame for your troubles and do not owe you anything.
5. Don't take things personally and think for others especially in a negative way.
6. Make your motto the proverb: "The eyes are afraid, but the hands are doing" . Don't think that you can't do something. In general, do not plan things many steps ahead. Do it slowly, step by step, and everything will work out.
7. There are no problems. It's true, they don't exist. There is only what you yourself thought up. If some obstacle scares you, don't think about it now. Rare problems require an immediate solution, and if you think about it tomorrow, then the solution will come by itself.
Being a jerk does not mean being cold and indifferent people. This means - to keep a good mood at any time and not worry about trifles.
AND FURTHER...
Don't jump to conclusions. This habit can make life difficult in two ways. First, we assume we know what is going to happen, so we turn our attention away and start acting on that assumption. People are useless soothsayers. Most of their assumptions are wrong, and hence their actions are wrong. The second side of this habit is that we imagine that we can read minds, and as if we know why other people do, what they do, or what they think. Again wrong, and fundamentally wrong. It is this stupidity that destroys relationships like no other.
Don't be dramatic. Many make up deadly catastrophes out of petty misfortunes, and react accordingly. The habit of making an elephant out of a fly creates an anxiety that either does not exist or is so small that there is nothing to worry about. Why do they do it? Who knows? Maybe to look and feel more important. Either way, it's as stupid as it is pernicious.
Avoid stereotypes and labels. The words you use can set you up. The language of negativity and criticism breeds the same mindset. Trying to cram things in certain categories, you stop seeing their real meaning, thereby limiting your thinking to absolute uselessness. Look - what's there. Don't label. You will be surprised by what you see.
Don't be a perfectionist. Life is not only “black or white”, or “all or nothing”. In most cases, “enough” means just enough. If you look for the perfect job, you will most likely never find it. At the same time, all other works will seem worse to you than they really are. Will you search ideal relationship and you will probably spend the rest of your life alone. Perfectionism is mental illness, which will not let you enjoy, but will each time send you in search of what is not.
Don't Generalize. One or two failures is not yet a sign of permanent failure. And an accidental triumph does not make you a genius. A single event - good or bad - or even two or three events is not always indicative of a lingering trend. As a rule, things are what they are and nothing more.
Don't trust emotions. How you feel is not always a true indicator of what is really happening. Just because you feel it doesn't mean it's true. Sometimes the source of emotions can be fatigue, hunger, irritation, or just a runny nose. Whether you feel good or bad, the future will not change. Feelings may be true, but they are not truth.
Don't give in to apathy. Practice being an optimist. If you expect bad things in life and at work, you will find them. Negative attitude is the same as looking at the world through distorting, dirty glasses. You will notice only flaws, not paying attention, or not noticing everything else. It's amazing how you can see something that isn't there if you just start looking. And of course, if you start looking for positive things, you will find them too.
Don't live in the past. This tip is the most important of all: forget it and move on with your life. Most of the anger, frustration, unhappiness, and despair in this world comes from people holding on to past hurts and problems. The more you scroll through them in your mind, the larger they will seem to you, and the worse you will feel. Don't fight adversity. Forget and move on. Do this, and thereby deprive him of the power to hurt you.
You can often hear that the real secret of success is not at all titanic hard work and perseverance, but such a quality as indifference. For example, we may hear a story about how a colleague called his boss a set of juicy obscene words and yet he got promoted.
Most likely, in your life there were people who didn’t care about the opinions of others, principles and rules, and they still achieved wonderful results in their lives. How to become an indifference so that it does not turn out that our efforts turn against us? Let's consider several methods.
Accept Uncertainty
Being indifferent does not mean being completely indifferent. Those who are indifferent are likely too scared within themselves to take things for what they are. In order to stop worrying about everything, you need to accept the uncertainty of life. Instead of worrying about tomorrow, it is better to rejoice in the unknown: after all, we can never know what happiness can await us around the corner. Such an attitude to life will help to reveal those opportunities that, due to excessive concern, previously seemed unnoticed. Becoming a giver also means freeing up enough energy to achieve your desired goals and care about what really matters to you.
To communicate with people
Call a friend or girlfriend and talk about your worries. Such a conversation will help determine if the things that are eating up your emotional energy are really worth thinking about. The look of another person will help to assess the situation more soberly. As well as close person will help you objectively assess your strengths and capabilities.
Make your own rules, don't live by the dictates of others
Those who are forever forced to obey the instructions of society, in the end, will themselves become hostages of the endless “shoulds” and “shoulds”. And if you make the same demands on others, you may even be branded as a complete bore - but not indifferent.
Get rid of perfectionism
In general, if you are thinking about how to become a pofigist, then you should disown this quality by everyone. possible ways. After all, these people - a perfectionist and a pofigist - represent two different poles. The passion for impeccability and perfection is most often a consequence of the fact that in childhood a person was disliked by his parents and not accepted by them as he is. The most successful people rarely grow out of those who were straight A students in childhood. Those who studied for triples, condescendingly treated their weaknesses and at the same time knew how to enjoy life even at a tender age - these are who achieve success in adult life. Therefore, monitor the manifestations of perfectionism in your actions and sometimes give yourself the freedom to do work at least for the “four”.
Learn to be distracted by other things
If you find yourself in a state of anxiety when you urgently need a dose of adequate indifference, urgently switch to another activity. It should be completely unrelated to the issue that in this moment relevant to you. This method will be most effective if you choose the most exciting activity for you. This may be exclusively interesting film or a book camping trip, visiting the dolphinarium.
Less trust in emotions
All our experiences, which sometimes rage like a storm, are precisely the indicator that distinguishes sensitive people from calm and enjoying the moment of nihilists. Emotions are only a short-term reaction to the same short-term events. Since nothing lasts forever under the moon, even in a situation that makes you tremble in the knees, try to disengage from your experiences. It is easy to do this: you do not need to indulge in them, as if in a pool with your head. Instead, while your knees continue to tremble, try to find ten green objects around you. Then list the names of ten cities starting with the letter "K" (or whatever you like). Come up with such mental "entertainments" in advance to use them in right moment.
Don't take everything personally
Those who overreact to the people around them and their opinions are doomed only to fruitless dreams of indifference. Those who constantly perceive everything too close to their hearts have a high chance of becoming patients in a neurosis clinic, but by no means happy nihilists. Don't think too long about what a work colleague said about your dress this morning. The negative reaction of others is most often due to dissatisfaction. own life. Than obsessing over someone for too long psychological projection, take care of the affairs of notorious nihilists. Namely, enjoy the current moment and find what will bring you pleasure and joy now.
Do fitness
The best way to be a jerk in life is to make yourself one on physiological level. This is what the implementation of exercise. During the load on the body, the level of certain hormones increases, which are responsible for the subjective feeling of happiness. In addition, sports help you look better - which means your self-esteem rises. If it’s hard for you to collect your thoughts during class, turn on your favorite music louder and do the exercises with even more diligence. When you challenge the capabilities of your body, then the mind no longer has a chance to grind insignificant events or situations in your head.
To score on everything and become a real nihilist is not as difficult as it might seem at first glance. All these life attitudes, which are inherent in truly self-loving nihilists, should only be firmly rooted in behavior through daily practice. And it does not matter if you seem too narcissistic or selfish to others. After all, now you have begun to live your own, and therefore real, life.
Do you think that life is too tricky thing? Then you should develop a healthy indifference in yourself. It makes life much easier. Having learned the art of calming the nerves, relaxing and not being puzzled by trifles, a person becomes happy and can live without stress.
You can change - change, if you can't - don't worry
The art of healthy indifference is based on one simple rule: if something can be changed in a situation, then you need to make every effort to achieve your goal. Let's take an example. A person is late for work and worries about being late. He travels in a minibus and it is simply not in his power to eliminate traffic jams. Does this situation make sense to be nervous and worried? No. You will only fray your nerves and achieve nothing. Your excitement will not disperse traffic jams and speed up your trip. What can be done? Call work and say you'll be late. Release the situation after the call. Why worry about something that can't be changed? Life without stress is much more enjoyable. You need to learn to accept the situation and act decisively. If you can't change anything, calm down and go with the flow, believing optimistically that whatever happens is for the best.
Rejoice in the path traveled, not the goal
How does healthy bullshit work? A person should be able to accept his life as it is. It is foolish to worry about the future and worry about the past. Live for today. You need to learn to understand that the goal is good, it is a beacon in your life. But a person can swim all the time towards the ghostly light and never get to it. In order not to be disappointed at the end of life, you need to learn to enjoy the path. Do what you enjoy. Don't do something for a purpose. Always think about the pleasure you get. You can lose weight all your life, go on diets and never achieve the perfect body. Or you can maintain your figure not with exhausting workouts and fasting, but with morning jogs or light stretching loads. Result from physical work you will definitely see, maybe not as soon as after a diet, but your body will eventually acquire a beautiful relief and gradually become slimmer. After fasting, weight quickly returns, and after gradual weight loss overweight will not return. Therefore, learn to choose activities to your liking and do not think too much about ultimate goal.
Learn to enjoy the little things
How often do you smile and enjoy life? From time to time, once a week or once a month? You have to learn to enjoy every day. Healthy indifference is manifested in an optimistic view of things. A person who enjoys every day he lives gets more pleasure from life than a person who enjoys it from time to time. Learn to see the little pleasures that fate brings you. For example, you can leave the house on a gloomy autumn day, and at that time the sun will peek out from behind the clouds. Or maybe you wake up in the morning because your son, for the first time in his life, decides to please you with breakfast in bed. Learn to notice small surprises and thank fate for them. When a person learns to see something good in every day he lives, his life is transformed.
Take things easy
You need to stop beating yourself up. The easiest way to do this is to stop predicting and worrying about your future. Try to come to terms with the idea that you will enjoy any lesson that fate will present you. Whatever she gives you, you will put up with any outcome. Such a simple attitude to life helps a person to calm down and start. If you do not think much about tomorrow, life will become easy and beautiful. This does not mean that you should completely abandon long-term planning. Just be aware that plans may not come true. This fact should not upset you. Will the plan fail? You will create a new one. Are you afraid of being fired from your job? What to be afraid of, you can definitely find yourself any other place and, perhaps, even with a higher salary. By not worrying too much about the future, it will be easier for you to live in the present.
Don't count on people
Do you want to become a bully but don't know how to do it? Stop constantly putting your hopes on others. The less you are charmed, the less you will be disappointed. People won't always do what you want. Sometimes they will let you down, betray you, or not keep their promises. Yes, it's embarrassing and painful. But do not give such situations of great importance. Did the man keep his promise? Understand the reason behind his actions. If you understand the person, then forgive them. If you understand that the person simply forgot about you or deliberately tried to evade his promise, say goodbye to such a person. There is no point holding on to traitors and those who have undermined their credibility. Rely only on those who really deserve it.
Treat all people equally
Despite the fact that you will be betrayed and deceived, you should come to terms with the idea that all the people around you are good. Sometimes it will be hard to believe, but it is true. A person never does anything without a reason. If someone slanders you, then you hurt his feelings or he is jealous of you. Don't be offended by the person for spreading rumors about you. His life is sad and dull. And if he chose such entertainment, then similar way gives him pleasure. Treat this person well. Let him see that it is impossible to spoil your life with his efforts. Follow the rule "we don't care". People who will treat you badly and not get back backlash will soon realize that you strong personality who does not care about what and who says about her. Yes, it’s not worth keeping in touch with such pests, but you don’t need to be angry with them either.
Think less about what they think of you
Living by the principle "but we don't care," a person begins to experience true happiness. If you stop caring about what people think of you, you can do what you've always wanted to do. For example, enroll in dance courses or in book club. Do not be afraid that someone will not understand and will not share your hobbies. You have one life, and you should not look back at others. You can make yourself an idol only from the person whose life suits you completely. But it is unlikely that you are familiar with such a person. So live the life you want and do what you love. This is the theory of healthy indifference. A person should be happy, and if you are not satisfied with a highly paid position in law firm, you can safely change your specialization and become an artist. Are you afraid that they will laugh at you? In case of your failure, you can always return to the practice of a lawyer. And if you delay in obtaining new knowledge and skills, you may not have time to realize your talent.
Do what you like
A person should not be afraid to do what they love. Even if you don’t succeed today, it doesn’t mean that tomorrow you won’t master a new skill. How to develop a healthy indifference? You need to work on it every day. You must find time every day to do what you love. Let at first it will be only 30 minutes a day. Then you can increase the time to an hour, and then do all 2-3 hours. At any age, a person can master any specialization. Yes, it is possible that in some areas a person will not be able to receive awards and medals, but after all, a favorite thing in the first place is the pleasure of the process. Do you want to dance? Go to the nearest fitness center, sign up for a group and find like-minded people. Do you want to become an actor? Go to courses acting skills and start playing in any theater circle. It's never too late to do what you love, remember that.
Don't be afraid to say no
Do you want to live happily? Learn to refuse. It is only in Hollywood films that characters can broadcast from the screens how great it is to agree to all proposals. In life, everything is a little different. How to develop healthy indifference? You have to learn to say no to people. To be less nervous about not getting things done, stop promising things that you don't want to do or that you won't get to do. Thereby simple rule your life will improve dramatically. You will find time for what you like. You will not have problems due to the fact that you do not have time to do someone else's business. Yes, you need to help, but only when you have the time and desire for this. Otherwise, refuse. Don't be afraid that people will think badly of you. You won't be good for everyone. No one will laugh at you if you only help from time to time. But ridicule will not be avoided if you put on your neck a few freeloaders who will live in clover at your expense.
Accept the idea that life doesn't always go according to plan.
How to learn healthy indifference? A person must understand that something will always go far from what was originally planned. If you immediately come to terms with this thought and begin to act, it will not be difficult for you to adjust the plan. And if you are not mentally prepared for failure, any deviation from the intended trajectory can become a tragedy for you. Remember, your plans are an inaccurate map of the area. You should always be prepared for any surprises. It is advisable to have several backup plans in your head. If the main one does not work, then it will always be possible to implement an additional one. Don't be afraid to improvise. In the course of solving the problem, you may have some bright ideas that can be immediately implemented.
But what if your goal has become impossible? Well, don't get upset. Set new goals for yourself and try to achieve them. After some time, you may revisit your original goals and decide whether they need to be achieved. And if you decide what you need, try the second approach.
How to become a bully and not worry about nonsense in vain
Excitement accompanies the life of the modern active person It is the body's natural response to stressful situations that we face on a daily basis. Therefore, people are increasingly wondering how not to worry when there are many reasons for anxiety around?
Modern man it is difficult not to get upset when failure occurs, despite the fact that he was taught from childhood to be restrained and not show emotions. Emotional and overly impressionable by nature, a woman dreams of becoming an indifference, easily enduring any stressful event and always being in good mood. But is it possible to remain a calm, balanced person all the time?
Why do people worry: reasons for worry
Anxiety, excitement, anxieties are derivatives of fear. Nature endowed the individual with these feelings so that he would survive in a complex, constantly changing wild world. Living in a modern civilized society, a person still needs to be careful and attentive in order to adapt and become a successful member of society.
Experiencing difficulties in the process of self-realization, people are increasingly worried about trifles. It is this excessive, unnecessary excitement that is a problematic condition that you want to get rid of.
Successful person- self-confident, balanced and calm. He did not forget how to experience emotions, did not stop being afraid, did not become a soulless cynic, but developed the ability to cope with excessive feelings, excessive excitement, unreasonable anxieties. In common parlance, such a skill is called indifference.
The word "indifference" is used as a synonym for the words: indifference, indifference, insensitivity, spitting, as well as to the phrase healthy selfishness.
The goal of a balanced personality is not complete absence emotions, because this would mean the loss of the ability to rejoice and experience other positive experiences. The goal is the ability to cope with negative experiences, maintaining psychological balance.
Indifference as the ability not to worry about nonsense is a useful skill.
The ability to be both calmly positive and anxious and restless is formed in the process of life, under the influence of education, self-education and personal life experience. Anxiety and nervousness as situational natural reactions and phenomena, turning into a habit, become personality traits. People get used to worry in vain, accustom themselves to be constantly in a state of anxiety if they are not aware of these experiences and do not control them. They say: “It's not my fault! This life is so disturbing and terrible! ”, Thus refusing to be responsible for their well-being and psychological condition.
Many people do not know how to describe emotions, feelings, sensations in words. Without knowing what you are experiencing, it is difficult to control it with the help of the mind. Excessive excitement arises from the fact that the individual simply does not understand how one can not be nervous. He does not know how to manage his feelings.
Some people, by virtue of temperament, are more emotionally stable, others find it more difficult to restrain their spiritual impulses. Character also influences how a person reacts to major and minor failures.
Great value has upbringing, the attitude of parents and teachers to the personality in childhood. In nervous, suspicious, too demanding and authoritarian parents, children grow up fearful, insecure, too self-critical. Such children learn to worry in advance because of small troubles that may not happen or have long been in the past.
Excessive caution, lack of initiative, passivity and low resistance to stress prevent such people in adult life from expressing themselves, developing, achieving goals in their personal lives and professional environment. They are more likely to motivate themselves to avoid failure than to achieve success.
Excitement - normal reaction psyche, unless it is too frequent and excessive.
There are people for whom excessive experience is not only a habitual, but also a pleasant experience. Such people boast and are proud of their endless worries, they constantly talk about them, infecting others with negativity. It is this attitude to life that is the main reason for failure.
Seven tips to help you not be nervous and become a balanced person
Tip 1. Live here and now.
Do not be upset about what is left in the past or what is not yet. What has passed will not return, and future events depend on the activity of the individual in the present.
Tip 2. Become an independent person.
It's hard to be a don't care or don't care if you focus on subjective assessment own personality by other people and equal to someone else's opinion. People either scold or praise, their assessment is rarely objective.
Tip 3. Have adequate self-esteem.
Both excessively high conceit and low self-esteem give rise to mass negative emotions and experiences. Awareness of the positive and negative traits and personality traits allows you to adequately perceive your capabilities, correctly identify areas of work for self-improvement.
Tip 4. Use the mind and will.
To effectively deal with stressful situations, you should be guided common sense and show volitional qualities. Tears of sorrow will not help!
Tip 5. Become purposeful.
Purposeful and principled individuals know how not to worry about nonsense. They always remember what is really expensive and what is worth saving your nerves for. This knowledge helps not to worry about trifles. For example, if a girl wants to become a bully because she often gets nervous at work, maybe she should downgrade her career and remember that there are other values besides her?
Tip 6. Get active.
Active life position does not involve wasting time on "winding" yourself. When the subject is working on interesting work, has a passion, hobby, actively rests, he simply does not have time to worry about trifles.
Tip 7. Become responsible.
No need to shift the responsibility to other people or the case. Also, do not take someone else's responsibility on yourself, the consequences of this are an aggravated sense of guilt and constant anxiety for other people. You need to learn to take responsibility for your actions and life.
You can understand how to live in harmony with yourself by watching wise people. They know how not to worry about the fact that it is impossible to change, and any difficult situation perceived as an opportunity to test themselves, grow as a person, learn something new.
Even the most calm and balanced individual happens to lose his temper, get upset and angry. How not to worry while in critical situation? How to quickly pull yourself together and not succumb strong emotions?
Helping you regain your composure in a stressful situation simple steps, which, however, can be difficult to produce in a state of high excitement.
Each of these methods can be effective in one, and useless in another situation. It all depends on the situation itself and on the person who finds herself in it.
Two effective methods helping to cope with unnecessary excitement and, as a result, get rid of minor troubles.
