Great exercise to remove "Evaluative dependence", i.e. dependence on the opinions of others, and the fear of being judged,

harmful thing that absolute majority people and prevents us from freely living, creating and expressing ourselves.

Actions can be absolutely anything, provided that it does not interfere with others and is non-standard for you. Options: Walk on all fours, read poetry on the bus, dance in the store, walk with a bucket on your head, walk around the city with a baby pacifier in your mouth, for men - walk around the city with brightly painted lips, for women - march, for overly educated and sophisticated ladies - spit on the asphalt and swear, for not very well-mannered and rude men - politeness, gallantry and restraint, there are an infinite number of options.

Behavior and style of communication can also be non-standard.

The effect is tremendous, from a significant increase in self-confidence and gaining amazing inner freedom, to developing strong leadership and powerful leadership qualities. I recommend to all.

Dumb

Consists of 2 steps.

First - you just keep silent, accepting Active participation in surrounding events with the help of gestures and gaze.

The second is a very deep exercise, when you remain only an observer of life and completely turn off the processes taking place around you, so that even those around you soon stop noticing you. The exercise is especially recommended for active people, although it can be useful to everyone. Attention! It can generate deep philosophical feelings and very interesting conclusions. "Let the world exist without you."

Blind

Exercise for a home meeting. It's simple - for the duration of a home meeting, a person turns off his vision with a bandage. Impressions are more than enough. Usually weight inner discoveries and new understandings. You can do it at home with safety precautions.

If I loved...

Love for yourself, for people, for pieces of furniture, mother's love(forgiving), paternal love ("I'll make a man out of you!"). To get started, choose 1 type of love that you will constantly radiate during the week or during a home meeting. You can assign a specific time for each kind of love. We choose a person that we do not really like and begin to behave towards him as if you loved him.

Blonde

You act like the blonde from the jokes. I especially recommend it to men.

I want- start any action or request with these words.

I ask for help- ask completely strangers to help you, although you can also acquaintances ...

You can take background tasks to a home meeting (for quick receipt high-quality feedback) and for a week, for the most effective and fast practice of the exercise.

It is recommended to take exercises according to the principle: “For now, this is the most difficult thing for me to do, but in life, oh, how useful it is.” Those. if you are a sunshine and a good-natured person in life, and give a negative feedback and scolding unlucky colleagues is a difficult and rather unpleasant task for you, then the Scolding exercise is exactly what you need. Or if you are used to believing that the world is cruel and unfair, and the glass is, of course, half empty, then the best option for you - of course the exercise "Good."

We train and use in communication.

GDP technique

Attention

Support

When communicating with a person, it is important to provide him with GDP.

Attention - give compliments. Competent compliment goes from outside to inside. We note the quality or sign of the interlocutor that we like and draw conclusions about what internal property is characteristic of him.

For example: "You have such a beautiful suit, it shows that you have good taste"

Power - define the quality or what the interlocutor can do very well or better than others, sincerely admire this, say that you would like to be able to do it too.

For example: “You perform so easily without preparation, I would like to learn this”

Support is the promise of help. Help can be personal or assistance in finding information.

For example: “By the way, I have a manicurist friend, if you need, contact me, I’ll give you a phone number”

Technique "I-speaking"

In any situation good or bad behavior someone, talk not about the misconduct or act of the person, but about how you feel about this act.

For example: “I’m so glad that I don’t have to wash the dishes today and can immediately relax” (the child has washed the dishes by your return).

Or: “What a pity that I now have to spend time washing dishes instead of relaxing after work” (came in and found a mountain of dishes in the sink).

All examples are exaggerated, because are educational.

5 exercises that develop creativity

1. Two accidents

Take dictionary and randomly choose two random concepts. Just point your finger at any page. Compare them, try to find something in common between them. Come up with a crazy story in which to put the relationship. Similar exercise excellent brain training.

2. Crazy geneticist

Take Blank sheet paper and marker. It’s very good if you don’t know how to draw, because beauty and result are absolutely not important here. The main thing, as I said above, is the process. Now draw something that will combine as much as possible more signs all the animals you know. You will get, for example, a fox with fish scales, or a long-necked hare with hooves. The purpose of the exercise is to kill any rudiments of logic and common sense with an emphasis on creativity.

3. Mad Architect

From animals to architecture, let's draw a house. But before we start this lesson, choose 10 any words. Imagine that you, as an architect, have been commissioned to design a house. But the customer set 10 mandatory requirements. These are the chosen words. Anything can be here. For example, "orange" - and the roof of your house should be orange, "plate" - make round windows in the bathroom, etc. While drawing on paper, at the same time imagine how it could look in real life.

Choose any word, it must be a noun. Now write 5 adjectives that you think suit him best. For example, "socks" - black, warm, woolen, winter, clean. Made? Now try writing 5 more adjectives that don't fit at all. This is where everything stalled. It turns out that this is very difficult to do. dig into various fields perception and find the right words.

5. Title

Try every time you are interested in some subject, come up with a name for it. It can be short and biting, or long and deployed. The purpose of the exercise is that you should definitely like the name.

Repeat the exercises every day several times and be sure to become a creative person.

| | 3 |

The meaning of practice is to perform unusual, non-standard actions from a social point of view.

An example of this practice is given in the report: "Walking with a shoe". It should be noted that doing this right away, without any preliminary preparation, is very scary. Perhaps it makes sense to start small. That's how I started. There are simpler non-standard actions. You can come up with a lot of them, the main thing is that it really be non-standard and unusual (for yourself).

Of those that I tried myself, I can note "pacifier" and "gifts" (their description is given below), quite simple and effective exercises. From the original exercises, according to one friend, I can cite the following: "Metro. A crowd of people at the bottom of the escalator (on the rise). There is a boy with a poster with the following content:" I'm looking for a woman! public transport sang and recited poetry.

Nuances. Naturally, the meaning of these exercises is not to shock the audience, somehow stand out or impress with their originality. The point is to track yourself down. These exercises create favorable conditions for self-tracking.

The most characteristic reactions in the process of performing such exercises are: fear, embarrassment, increased reflection on the assessment of others and a strong dependence on this assessment. Thoughts like this are spinning in my head: “how will they react to me?”, “how ridiculous I look”, “somehow they especially look at me ...”

In the process of practice, the relationship becomes obvious internal state and the reactions of others (the world reacts to our state of mind). For example, with a calm and really confident behavior the surrounding people also react very calmly, even indifferently. And vice versa: with excitement, embarrassment, etc. others react more often and more pronouncedly. However, each will have its own nuances.

It is not recommended to perform such exercises with someone (in a pair or company), it will be much easier. It is not recommended to do this near own house or those places where there is a high probability of meeting acquaintances (the principle of environmental friendliness: you should not, unless absolutely necessary, spoil your social image in the eyes of those people with whom you will then have to build relationships further).

Pacifier

Buy a pacifier at the pharmacy and walk with it. An example of a report on the exercise "Nipple".

Present

Approach on the street or in the subway to to a stranger and give him a present. Gifts can be: compliments, sweets, flowers, air balloons etc.

I especially enjoyed giving candy along with compliments. It's nice to do nice :).

Valery Chugreev, 07.10.2005

a 27.01.2009 01:21

year practice, thank you very much.

iot 20.02.2009 22:17

I would like to clarify
In the process of performing the technique, of course, there will be different kind\"embarrassment\" .
What should be done with them? Just fix?

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Valery Chugreev 20.02.2009 22:47

> iot
What kind of confusion?

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Andrey I. 03.03.2009 04:47

For example, those that are accompanied by a sudden loss of the ability to think rationally (there can be no talk of stalking).

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Valery Chugreev 03.03.2009 09:04

> Andrew I.

Well, don't just rely on reason. It doesn't work in all cases. A warrior still has self-control, poise, awareness. They can and should be developed. Then, the higher the intensity of awareness (attention), the easier it is to control your emotions, feelings in a given situation. And the mind is on the sidelines here. In a rapidly changing situation, in the "here and now" mode, you have to rely more on awareness than on reflection.

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Andrey I. 06.03.2009 05:18

Yes, you are right Valery. Thank you.

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Christmas tree 23.03.2009 11:28

I read at the same time a report on the practice of\"nipple \". I thought where exactly to leave a comment here or there. decided here.
As for gifts, I don't know. but the practice with the pacifier does not seem to me to achieve its result.
Might be confusing, but I'll try to get my point across.
while a person does something non-standard in behavior and is afraid - he thinks about how they will look at him and all the time while he forcibly overcomes his fear of chsv at this moment he does not get rid of, but only disguises him. fear in this scenario will not go away for the second and third and 10 times. each next act will cause fear to seem different from everyone else.
in other words, during practice, a person thinks only about one thing - about how he looks now and how (successfully or not) he overcomes this state of affairs, and at the same time simply occupies a new cell in the same society, that is, it does not change anything from our usual behaviour.
ideally, you probably need to reach a state where it really doesn’t matter how others perceive you at this moment.
that is, when man goes with a pacifier in his teeth and completely forgets about his practice. when it doesn't matter whether it's upru with a nipple, or with an iron. after all, why is it easier to exercise with a pacifier? because subconsciously we have already found a place for ourselves in society with our pacifier. that is, we decided that we would be perceived by others as a\"show off \" person, and there are plenty of such Wait in the cities. but if we go with an iron, they can be perceived as a psycho. and this is scarier) it will no longer be a joke.
then what have we achieved by doing the exercise? got rid of hsv? achieved independence from the opinions of others? No
they simply jumped from one behavioral style of society to another (moreover, they jumped in a place unfamiliar to anyone).

and here's something else that's interesting. In fact, the opinion of others around us is not so unimportant. for example, our goal (temporary) is to provide food for ourselves at work while we are engaged in magical practice. for this it is absolutely necessary that at work we are perceived as normal, good worker. in the entrance we cannot be considered a psycho, otherwise the neighbors will call 03 and the practice will have to be carried out in the ward))..etc. we absolutely need to skillfully manage the opinions of others, which is very easy to violate the same nipple (which is why we conduct practices somewhere else). when we do not contact people (neb. island), the fear of looking "wrong" will disappear by itself. if we come to the island with people of the Tumba-Yumba tribe, we will also not care how we look (because they cannot influence our position in any way, and they cannot call 03) from here we come to the conclusion - we are afraid lose what we have now. And that's why the opinions of others are so important to us. (if there is no threat, then the opinion of those around us is on the drum)
and in this regard, pacifier practices are, well, almost completely useless.
it came out very chaotically, but I hope you catch the idea that I wanted to convey ..

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Valery Chugreev 23.03.2009 12:16

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Christmas tree 23.03.2009 17:09

Yes, I do something all the time. No, I haven’t tried walking with a pacifier, but walking with a broom (in the area where I live) yes. walking around with a distorted grimace face, non-standard dressed (something like a carnival costume, it really was in a foreign city), and all that sort of thing. the essence of such things is the same. Well, I didn’t write everything above from the ceiling, these are also tracking results.

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Valery Chugreev 23.03.2009 17:40

1. Regular, systematic practice is important here. My first more or less tangible results appeared in about a month (I practiced about 2-3 times a week, about 1-2 hours each time). Then he repeatedly returned to this practice (after a year, two, three) to consolidate some points. Satisfied with the results. I speak not only for myself, but also for other guys who practiced it (participants).

2. Non-standard actions combined with other practices: recapitulation, ATS, etc.

3. This does not completely get rid of the CSF, but allows you to weaken some of its manifestations (\"cut down a few heads\".

4. A lot depends on the practitioner himself and his personal strength.

5. It also seems to me that a broom and \"something like a carnival costume in a foreign city\" is small. A pacifier or a boot - that's it!

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Christmas tree 23.03.2009 18:52

To be honest, I don't see the difference between a broom nipple and a suit. you can at least hide the pacifier)) Of course, you can also use the pacifier for the purity of the experiment, but I really don’t see the difference.

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Valery Chugreev 23.03.2009 19:29

For me, an appearance with a broom or in a carnival costume is in more socially justified actions. There are janitors, there are participants in various kinds of performances, in my opinion, this is not so unusual. And it is easier to decide on such actions. Although, of course, everyone is individual ...

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Plato 18.07.2009 17:29

The tree is right in many respects. pacifier exercises allow you to train resistance to extraneous, random opinion. After some practice, you stop thinking, "How will others look at me? What will they think of me?" Having practiced, you stop being distracted by the opinions of people with whom the likelihood of meeting in life is small. Yes, this practice is also useful, because people feel insecure in the crowd, which basically does not notice you and is indifferent. In the sum of developments in self-confidence, this is useful.
But a similar act with a pacifier surrounded by people on whom one way or another you depend requires a different approach. It all depends on the habitual behavior of those around you. If you have always been a "gray mouse" then this act for many will look like impudence. And this is either negative consequences for work, or a victory. Which rarely happens, but it does happen. In any case, the experimenter will need to be supported by the taken bar. That is, to prove constantly that he is no longer a mouse.
When something similar is expected of you, then your act will be perceived more or less naturally. You did it, maybe even surprised, but it will not be a feat, you are at your level.
I'm not talking about the nipple per se, but in a broader sense.
The role taken on must be played in accordance with the goal. I have a friend, he always behaved like an aristocrat, serving as a private in the army, in a gray cloth overcoat he looked like a general. At the same time, everything was strictly according to the charter. They called him behind his eyes Royal officer". So he kept himself. I personally saw how the officer coming towards him was the first to salute him ...
Again, the key is attitude.

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Oleg 06.08.2009 09:50

Well, if one of the principles is simplification, then just sign up for the section. Preferably not a sports bias. A good choice- ki-aikido, a lot of work with the unification of body and mind, suitable for different ages. You learn to relax, you change the environment, your image, a lot of people who don't know you. I find it useful.

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ks 13.10.2009 13:00

And I don't think it's about that at all.
People discuss what needs to be done to lose feeling own importance.
Don Juan said that unusual behavior makes the assemblage point tremble. That is, all this is necessary just in order for the person himself to feel strange. Because his assemblage point is not accustomed to such a position - when performing unusual strange actions, it trembles, and in the most critical situations generally moves.
So stalking (precisely in its manifestation as performing unusual acts) is not so much a way of losing one's self-importance (there were other ways), but a method that helps the movement of the assemblage point.

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Igor 23.11.2009 02:31

I must say that I unconsciously used elements of this technique in London (I lived there for several years). In general, there I felt much more free from CSF than at home. I am sure that many will agree with me .. For example, I put on different shoes on my feet and went to the store like that. Moreover, he "tracked" his states at that time. Freedom rules! But in home country I'm not ready for things like this. Especially in your provincial town) You know why)

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Max... 15.01.2010 14:49

For example, I met with infinity and received "enlightenment" not because I fought with CSW and was engaged in stalking. Rather, on the contrary, I lost the CSV precisely because I encountered the unknowable ... But this is a digression. I haven’t read about your practices and, perhaps, this has already happened, but I want to offer my own method of non-standard behavior: Put on light-colored trousers and sprinkle orange juice in front, and zucchini caviar in the back from the inside and go to the people !!! You can even go to an interview!

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Denis 20.02.2010 19:58

I personally walked with a pacifier for one month on average 2-3 hours a day. The first time it was so scary that I could not insert it into my mouth, I got it the second time. She was so funny to me, with a big ring and painted fish. The second time it worked with great difficulty And then it started, everything seemed to change. My face must have changed all the colors of the rainbow, although I tried to hold on. The people around reacted differently, mostly laughed at me, well, in general, that's what I needed. Every morning I had a hard time forcing myself to walk with a pacifier again and again, but the subconscious mind was not tiring and demanded action from me.
After a couple of weeks, I felt better, I became calm, I almost didn’t care what people say about me, but unexpectedly for me they began to ask me the question “Why the nipple”. I wrote the answer to this question on a T-shirt "Answer to www.site" After a month of practice, I walked with a shoe on a rope and begged and gave out sweets. I WAS INTERNALLY CALM.
Then a new command came, to collect empty metal cans, I got the SUPER exercise here to the fullest. I collected 2-3 large bags in crowded places, and then just threw them away. For two months of hard work, there was EVERYTHING, you can write a book and a fight and insults, and they took me for a crazy alegar,
All this was almost two years ago and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart Valeriy for the wonderful pacifier exercise! It was the first step on my way.

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Valery Chugreev 20.02.2010 21:45

Oh, and my friends told me about you. About this move with the jersey. Good PR, by the way. thanks for interesting idea!

Good luck to you, Denis!

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Falling Snow 21.02.2010 13:39

Denis, what a great idea with the T-shirt!

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Novel:) 23.03.2010 14:32

For the second day I can’t get off the monitor, I read everything that is in this wonderful site! I can only express respect to Valery for creating such a strong site, even though we are not familiar with him. I'll tell you about my extreme practices, maybe they will be too much, but still they can come in handy)

1. Pretend to be a reporter from a local newspaper. Have a planchette with you (like the American policemen), a pen, several sheets inserted into the planchette. Clothing should be light, not particularly defiant. The bottom line is this: you are going to the city center, to the very crowded place and begin to conduct a survey of the population. What does the question have to do with the dumbest character (tell me, please, how much do you have in your wardrobe? black clothes and white, as a percentage?), kind of simple (I thought so at the beginning), but when people start asking you questions, why such information and for what? After all, you also need to write down the name of the person, explain why and why. The main condition: You must not be exposed! You are a correspondent, conducting a social survey on the clothing of the population, or rather the colors of the wardrobe !! Here's a joke))) Here begins the work of pulling out the knowledge of psychology from myself, when I did not study for it, and you explain to people all the unthinkable laws of psychology. And many more things, from the point of view of the importance of the unpleasant. The list must have at least 60 respondents!

2. Drink tea in any apartment, under any pretext, at absolutely strangers. 3 times minimum!

3. Arrive in an unfamiliar city in Russia and conduct some kind of training. Yes, yes, gather people by contact, find a room, choose a familiar topic for yourself (coordinating with the 1st principle of Art.) and go! Moreover, the training is paid, otherwise no one will listen to you and the trip will not pay off!

I will clearly state that this is all real, I have been doing this myself for several years, these are not all techniques, there are a great many of them.

P.S. give up meat, awareness will become clearer)

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Valery Chugreev 23.03.2010 14:51

> Roman
Great! thanks for fresh ideas and good words.

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Thorstein 17.06.2010 16:05

"We'll put ink on clothes to make them look cleaner after washing"
I don't see much point in these exercises.
I regularly do something like this (dressing like a freak or gay, portraying a psycho, unusual gaits), it's hard to just start, then even laughter does not interfere. Nothing at all.
It is much more interesting to track down the CSF in Everyday life, in normal conditions where she does not burn with a clear flame and does not shout "I am here." For example, right now, follow how I sit and get off myself, with a serious look of an ubergu))

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Nastya 03.11.2010 13:57

I don’t know, stupidly a little bit (IMHO) It’s just that I don’t really care what they will think about me, I set myself such a principle a long time ago, which allowed me to have individual style, and I never paid attention to whether they looked at me askance or not ...
At the expense of singing in the subway - I even somehow planned to stand there with a guitar for fun)
Of course it depends on what it's all about.
"It's much more interesting to track down the CSW in everyday life, under normal conditions, where it doesn't burn with a clear flame and doesn't shout 'I'm here.'
+1)
Personally, I have a different problem, worse than CHSV I call it feeling own uselessness. Not only did I never put an end to other people's opinions, as if taking them into account and not believing them at the same time, but I also did not put an end to my own, so it was for a long time a feeling of being lost, because it turns out that there is no confidence in one's opinion, that is, there is no self-confidence. However, as in the quote, I usually track it down in everyday life and try to eliminate it. As a result, there is simply no time for uncertainty, when the desire to learn something, understand and achieve much more)

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We continue the theme of freedom! inner freedom speaker from what others think of him!

Freedom, which gives the speaker lightness, looseness, naturalness, courage, drive ...

Option number 1. "Psychotherapy"

Come to a psychotherapist and, under his strict guidance, go far into the past, looking for cases when mom / dad / grandmother pasted all sorts of attitudes into the brains like:

Quiet! Do not be noisy!

Don't stand out!

Do not scream!

Be like everyone else!

Attitudes that now interfere with being a strong, bright speaker. And having worked through these situations, to get rid of the heavy legacy of the past.

As the saying goes, "it's never too late to have a happy childhood"

It is also useful to work out situations of unsuccessful performances (especially the very first ones).

When a poem was poorly read in kindergarten and all the children laughed, and the teacher poked her finger contemptuously ...

Brrr… It is better to rewrite, re-live these pages of your life in a different way.

Option number 2. "Unusual Actions"

The famous physicist Lev Landau was very shy and timid in his youth. And in order to overcome this shortcoming, he included in his life what can be called non-standard actions.

Raising his thin shoulders, he walks along the university embankment tall student…. This is Landau. He is terribly timid, awkward, dressed in some kind of gray jacket, which northern capital no one wears it, it seems to him that he is ridiculous. It is necessary to overcome this timidity, to overcome it by any means, to learn to endure even the ridicule of passers-by.

- Would you be kind enough to answer one question? - Lev turns to the self-confident bearded man, who looks like a Nepman.

He stops.

- Why do you wear a beard? Leo continues in the same gracious tone.

Did not help. And the next day he walks along Twenty-fifth October Avenue (as Nevsky was called at that time) with a balloon tied to his hat.

An excerpt from Maya Bessarab's book "Pages of Landau's Life"

What is included in the modern classic list non-standard actions:

Walking in strange clothes: in summer in winter, turned inside out, for men in women's ...

Ask strange questions to passers-by. For example, under the guise sociological research, "and you are cheating on your wife / husband" ...

Make strange requests. For example, asking for a condom. Or give sweets to passers-by (so that they take them).

Collect charity.

The list is endless. There are a lot of non-standard actions ... And it’s worth choosing exactly those that are the most scary for you to do.

Keep in mind the law of the zone of proximal development. Gradually increase the difficulty of tasks for yourself. No need to immediately take on a very difficult exercise for you, on which you can overstrain.

If you dial in any search engine phrase "non-standard actions" you can easily find more links to 20-30 similar reports.

Leader and Lead Trainer

"University of Rhetoric and Oratory"

Seventeen Moments of Success: Leadership Strategies Kozlov Nikolay Ivanovich

Break free from patterns: practice non-standard actions

Yes. Precisely the three of us: Runge, you and me. We will save the world of the great physicist. Here I saved him, and you organized the flight. BUT? And remember: you are under the hood, not me. And you know what it means to be under Mueller's hood. Well? I look forward to hearing.

Would you like more cognac?

Stirlitz got up, slowly approached Holtoff, he held out a glass, and at that moment Stirlitz hit him on the head with a faceted bottle with all his might. The bottle shattered, dark cognac spilling over Holtoff's face.

Individual training "non-standard actions" is to do things that are unusual for yourself and non-standard for others. Things are not harmful to anyone, often kind, useful, but - but I never did that! Kind of scary! Scary!

Although WHAT, in fact, is scary - it is impossible to explain plainly.

It will be even more difficult if these things and actions go against not only your habits, but also the expectations of others. If these are actions not according to the template -

unexpected, strange, incomprehensible.

Those that “NORMAL” (that is, those who fit into the norms, frameworks, standards!) People do not do.

"Normal people" are slaves of habits, patterns, standards. And the leader is above the standard! Not-like-people.

An ordinary person lives within the zero position of perception. The leader has the power to throw off these limits.

Naturally, the leader is not a show off, every minute attracting attention to himself with stupid oddities, and not a hooligan wrapped up in gouging public order. A leader is a person with the feeling “I am the owner!”, and the one who feels like a master behaves the way he needs, and not the way others expect him to.

Leader - above the standard!

However, it is necessary not only to understand it with your head, but to feel it with your whole body, and the training "Non-Standard Actions" makes you feel it in full.

Instead of a detailed briefing, it is more convenient to provide documentary reports of those who took this training.

Notes from the battlefield: E.M., while deputy. head of the department, a promising specialist, it seems - the hope of Russia

1. I sat on the rail in the subway (although there were many empty seats).

2. From the metro to the house, she walked backwards.

3. Sang a delightfully passionate Spanish love song in the subway (thanks to Mr. Almado-ver).

5. Bit her lip. It wasn't long enough.

6. In the subway, she took a pen in her mouth and portrayed a woodpecker.

7. Poems to the crowd. After the first line out loud - a wave of ecstasy! And at the end - a moral orgasm. Especially when they began to applaud me.

8. Fell into childhood, in the rose garden, lying on her belly, drew all sorts of prettiness with crayons on the asphalt ...

9. Friends incited to declare their love to anyone. Please! Anytime. If you mean by the words "I love you!" the fact that at that very moment I just wanted to say exactly these words (and how many deep meanings there are under this!).

10. I was afraid to catch cars. But - she overcame it (herself) twice. Further - I will deliberately catch them, disagree on the price and let them go. Until you stop being afraid.

From the book Tame a bad temper! Self Help for Explosives author Vlasova Nelly Makarovna

Get rid of everything empty for the sake of big things! The "emergency service" syndrome burns our potential. We grab onto current problems, not leaving our main resources. The crime is not to realize yourself. It's like not using what you got

From the book How to beat stress and depression author McKay Matthew

Step 5: Practice Anger Coping Skills in Life irritating tend to occur spontaneously, difficult to schedule practical application your new skills. If your hierarchy includes episodes that happen quite

From the book Women's Secrets of the author Vit

6. UNUSUAL SITUATIONS / What is important to you and has had an impact on your sexuality (both positive and negative), but not mentioned in the list of questions. Perhaps - extreme situations: rape, beating, adult harassment, etc. Any other event, about

From the book The Art of Being a Leader author Vlasova Nelly Makarovna

Get rid of everything empty for the sake of big things! SYNDROME "emergency service" burns our potential. We grab onto current problems, not leaving our main resources. The crime is not to realize yourself. It's like not using what you got

From book spiral dynamics[Managing Values, Leadership and Change in the 21st Century] author Beck Don

From the book Love Without Borders. Way to amazing happy love the author Vuychich Nick

3. Practice Gratitude One day I walked into the living room and saw Kanae playing and laughing with Kiyoshi. I felt indescribable gratitude for the fact that I live in such a wonderful family. I didn’t talk about it before, but now I want my wife and son to

From the book How to become a complete loser in life, work and everything else. 44 1/2 steps to persistent inferiority author McDermott Steve

Step Sixteen Don't Practice Constant Striving for Perfection Quote to Ignore There you are, Winnie the Pooh. As you can see, he descends the stairs after his friend Christopher Robin, head down, counting the steps with his own

From book positive psychology. What makes us happy, optimistic and motivated by Style Charlotte

Practice Introspection Introspection can be practiced by paying close attention to your thoughts and body. TIP To feel your body, sit down and close your eyes, then raise your hand as slowly as possible. Direct all attention to this arm and muscles,

From the book Never Mind by Paley Chris

Practice Gratitude We have already noted that gratitude is one of the the most important characteristics prosperous, full and happy life. Gratitude is a key component of spiritual and religious practice and in itself determines many factors.

From book Difficult situation. What to do if ... A guide to survival in the family, school, on the street author Surzhenko Leonid Anatolievich

Practice Forgiveness Forgiveness is a daily and sometimes hourly practice. Sometimes you can't forgive and forget, but it's possible to let go of the pain the other person is causing you without holding on to it. You can decide how much you allow others to influence you.

From the author's book

Practice self-acceptance A great way to accept yourself is to enjoy all aspects of your personality. What aspects of your personality make you happy? What are some of your weaknesses that you can deal with? We started our story by accepting ourselves. I hope you're happy with who you are and

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Practice Self-Regulation Any spiritual practice requires you to be able to regulate yourself to some degree, take time to reflect and contemplate daily, or control your behavior in accordance with your values ​​and for the benefit of others.

From the author's book

Practice Compassion All spiritual practice involves compassion. Compassion involves a friendly attitude towards people when you wish them only the best. The Dalai Lama says that compassion is “a worldview based on the desire to save people from

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Practice Clarity In this chapter, we already touched on clarity of mind as a way to be aware of yourself and others, and in Chapter 3 we looked at the benefits of being able to taste life. Clarity of mind is not just the basis for the development of spiritual self-awareness; she encourages everyone

From the author's book

We don't know what causes our actions or the actions of other people - we can only model our mind. Everyone has a different idea of ​​​​how the thermostat works. Some people think that if you set it to 30 degrees, the batteries will get hotter,

Without non-standard actions, life would be gray and dull. In addition, a person gets to know himself better this way and even sometimes discovers hidden talents. But we are all different, and for some it is easy to do such things, for others not so much.

Turns out, it all depends on self-esteem and understanding of oneself as a person. If a person knows and accepts himself, then he stops playing roles and putting on masks. It is more important for him to fulfill himself in all areas, and he does not back down if something does not work out. Just looking for other approaches. Insecure people, when faced with obstacles, think first of all that they are unsuccessful. If it doesn't work, then there's nothing to try. As a rule, such personalities in childhood were not given the opportunity to fulfill themselves.

We all come from childhood
Everything starts in early childhood. First, the baby gets to know the world through his mother, and from about two years old he already begins to explore the world on his own. If at this time parents forbid a lot of things to the child, then they begin to form an insecure personality. And even as an adult, a person will always look back at the opinions of others. It is difficult for such people to express themselves and express themselves.

Therefore, it is important that parents help the child become independent as early as possible, gradually transferring responsibility into his hands. Often parents take care of the child, solve problems for him, thereby doing him a disservice: it will be difficult for such a person in life. A simple example: parents teach lessons instead of children, so long as their child is not called stupid. But in fact, even a three, earned by the efforts of a child, will bring him more benefit. After all, this forms the skills that will help him break through in life.

Unleash your talents!
Insecure people need to sort themselves out. They are losing a lot. In addition, often, even having some qualities, they may never show them. This is the worst thing when a person, having lived his life, does not even suspect what he is capable of. People who have managed to realize themselves understand what it means to be happy. You can even be a janitor, but do your job with pleasure and feel harmonious.

But there is a way out even for people who are insecure in themselves, when they really want to do something unusual, to prove themselves. Perhaps, thanks to them, such a phenomenon as a flash mob arose (flash - "flash", mob - "crowd"), when with the help of "ICQ" in certain place instantly there will be n-th number of people who act according to a certain scenario. Moreover, people do not know each other, and the script does not have specific purpose. Each time it is something new and original: a lot of people sit with fishing rods by the fountain, do exercises, stand in line for a bagel.

Flashmob lasts no more than 5 minutes. But it brings a lot of emotions and positive. After all, not everyone is able to do it alone. On the one hand, the effect of the crowd enhances the significance of the act, on the other hand, it removes responsibility. Mostly teenagers participate in the flash mob: it is important for them to realize their own I and understand what they are capable of.

By the way, young people do more unusual things. Age takes its toll. Appears negative experience when people face their failure in life. In addition, with age, the psyche becomes more rigid (rigid - inflexible, stubborn, unyielding, etc. - ed.). In young people, the psyche is still being formed. They get to know the world, gain experience and therefore are more open. Although among young people, not everyone can behave spontaneously. It all depends on how a person developed, on his self-esteem and knowledge of himself as a person. If there are any problems with this, then, of course, there will be many internal restrictions that will not give him the opportunity to open up.

Do extraordinary things!
But remember: there are different deeds for deeds. It's one thing if we just don't look at the opinions of others. But most often, non-standard acts are performed in order to shock society.

For example, Salvador Dali man of genius, an acclaimed artist, fueled his self-esteem all the time by doing unusual things, and they began to talk about him. He walked around in incredible costumes and a wig that looked like a broom, decorated his hat with a rotten herring, appeared at one lecture dressed in a spacesuit, poured a mountain of cauliflower into his Rolls-Royce, walked around Paris with an anteater on a gold chain, kept his suite in a luxurious Parisian goat hotel, signed his books at a New York presentation, dressed up as Santa Claus, staged erotic performances. Once in a restaurant, he threw a bowl of soup at the customers sitting nearby; they rushed to him for autographs.
Such demonstrations of oneself are connected with doubt. Those who are confident in their abilities do not need any other confirmation. Therefore, it is important to understand what psychological meaning stands behind the act and why it is done.

To act outside the box, it is not at all necessary to do something out of the ordinary. Sometimes, instead of the usual rest, you should occupy yourself with something else, change the course of your life, overcome the routine. And if your act, in addition to thrills, will benefit someone, it is doubly worth doing.
Non-standard actions are harmful only in one case - if they harm someone, infringe on rights, hurt feelings. And so ... do such actions for health, fill your life with new sensations. And remember: life is striped, but we have a palette!