Mutual perception - openness and trust. Negative properties of openness

2.3 Mutual perception - openness and trust

The problem of perception and understanding of other people arises before us, as a rule, when we make and maintain contact with them. How we are understood by others depends largely on our behavior - we can help or hinder others to perceive us correctly. Everyone can ask themselves such questions: “Do other people know me well?”, “Is it easy for them to understand me?”, “Do I know and understand myself?”, “Do I help others understand me better?”. The best and most direct form of help here is our own openness.

The degree of openness cannot be random, it depends on the current situation and the characteristics of the developing contact. It is desirable that it be related to what is happening in this moment in partners and between them.

AT crisis periods In relations between people, openness is of particular importance, and the ability to be open depends on the degree of self-awareness and self-acceptance. This is especially true for a soldier in initial period services. At the beginning of the service, he experiences a certain crisis associated with a change in the reality surrounding him. And we can say that for a soldier in this period is typical lesser degree openness, due to the fact that he is not yet aware and does not accept himself in a new capacity. The relationship between self-awareness and openness can be illustrated with a model called the Yogari Window, after the two psychologists who created the model.

Each person is only partially aware of everything that makes up the content of his "I". It can also be said that the people around us only partially understand us. To hide from others and from ourselves some important information, we must spend our attention and energy on this, so the more open we are, the more information accessible and known, the more likely it is that our communication with others will be full and deep, expressive and effective.

In accordance with the model, one can imagine that each person carries within himself, as it were, four "spaces" of his personality.

Open and closed spaces of personality

Dimensions of "spaces" at the beginning of communication with some person

As can be seen from this model, the strengthening and deepening of relations between people leads to an increase in the size of open and accessible to knowledge "spaces" and a decrease in the size of closed and inaccessible to understanding "spaces" of the individual. When we are open, others have the opportunity to learn more about us, which increases the likelihood of good mutual understanding and, at the same time, deeper self-knowledge. When we close ourselves off from others, we become less aware of ourselves. Opening up to others, we acquire some guarantee that they will help us to see in ourselves what was previously inaccessible to us. The more we become aware of this area, the more openly we will be able to behave with others.

A lot of mutual perception and understanding of each other depends on feedback - information that we can supply to others and which contains our reaction to their behavior. The purpose of feedback is, first of all, to help others in a better understanding of how we perceive their actions, what feelings they cause in us, how they affect our state and behavior. Ability to provide feedback in such a way as not to cause the partner to feel threatened by us and not to provoke his psychological self-defense is extremely important and is not easy to develop.

Most military personnel, especially at the beginning of the service, are not always disposed to openly demonstrate their reactions to the behavior of others. Much more often, they hide their feelings because they are afraid to offend or hurt another person, they are afraid to provoke his anger, they do not want to be ridiculed or rejected. All this can be avoided if you subtly and skillfully provide feedback to your partner. Thanks to this skill, it is possible to establish deeper and sincere contacts with other people.

The level of openness in a relationship can be increased only on the basis of a desire to improve contacts, and not from a desire to humiliate a partner or manipulate him. Openness in itself is not a value unless there is a need to improve the quality of relationships behind it. Therefore, attempts to be more frank with those who are truly dear to us are especially valuable.

The readiness of partners for mutual openness is closely related to the level of trust between them. Those who are sincerely interested in improving relations should take care to deepen and strengthen mutual trust.

It is easy to see that there is a direct connection between mutual trust and mutual knowledge in the process of communication. The more open partners are, the better they understand each other. The possible advantages of mutual openness are connected, first of all, with the deepening of relations. Potential troubles can manifest themselves primarily in the form of rejection, humiliation, resentment. If partners are willing to take the risk of greater mutual openness, then there is a basis in their relationship for deepening mutual trust.

Trust is strengthened if, in response to your frank reactions, you feel accepted, understood that nothing threatens you. In this case, trust increases because you are convinced that the partner is not hostile. On the contrary, if you understand that there are notes of mockery or neglect in your partner’s reactions, trust in him falls, and confidence grows that he is deliberately set against you. However, many examples can be cited when people interested in improving relationships in the name of common purpose, consciously go to trust each other, in this case, trust generates reciprocal trust. So, we can say that the quality of the relationship depends on whether one of the partners is ready to take risks and open up more to the other; whether the second partner is ready to show that he understands and accepts the intentions of the first, that he agrees to respond in kind.

When we feel that another person treats us with trust, we ourselves begin to trust him more, and feel the need to get closer to him. Uncertainty about a partner and suspicion about his intentions are significant obstacles to establishing a trusting relationship. A person who risks revealing at the same time demonstrates to us that he has no evil intentions, that he is not in the mood to take actions that threaten us.

Some people at such moments suspect the other of deceit, and, unfortunately, this is sometimes justified. This is one of the biggest tribulations that fall on a person. I mean the misfortune of losing trust in others. It usually manifests itself in total and blind suspicion. It is difficult to overcome the barrier of such suspicion and get close to like a person. Very often, global distrust of others is combined with distrust of oneself.

Naturally, it is difficult to meet such a person who has not been deceived at least once in his life. Having once been deceived, we try to avoid similar situations and the disappointments associated with them in the future. We try to be careful, attentive, suspicious, we decide that "we will never trust anyone again." But all this is an imaginary guarantee of security, because as a result we find ourselves in loneliness and isolation. It's about about imaginary guarantees, because although we no longer risk trusting others, we do not get rid of the feeling of anxiety and internal stress which are also reinforced by our memories. At the same time, we are tormented by terrible ideas of what might happen if we suddenly opened up to someone or allowed others to be more open with us.

We can help each other get rid of suspicion if we try to be more open and trust our partner. However, all this is very difficult, it requires effort and effort, and, unfortunately, there are no ready-made recipes for how to help in such a situation. After all, when we try to change something in better side, we have no guarantees that everything is really good.

The concept of empathy

Among the problems that were mentioned above, those that are associated with the need to thoroughly know, not content with what is visible from the actions and words of the other, what is happening in him "inside" were repeatedly mentioned.

Ability to understand internal processes and the state of the person with whom we communicate, psychologists call empathy.

According to some researchers and practitioners, empathy involves not only the ability to see and understand another, but also to inform him about it. To define the concept of “empathy”, the input term “feeling for another” is often used, which can be misinterpreted as the ability to evoke the same feelings in oneself. emotional experiences what the person you are trying to understand is experiencing.

Empathy is based on the ability to correctly imagine what is happening inside another person, what he experiences, what he strives for, how he perceives and evaluates himself and the world. The ability to look at people and perceive various events through their eyes is extremely importance to understand others.

Most of us, although varying degrees can somehow imagine what is going on inside other people. Empathy can be constantly developed, and although it is impossible to achieve absolute perfection here, nevertheless, the more this ability is developed, the greater the chance of improving relationships. I propose to specifically dwell on the question of how it is possible to imagine what cannot be directly seen, what the person who has become the object of our knowledge does not speak about. There are two concepts that explain the phenomenon of empathy, and, apparently, they point to two main mechanisms of this phenomenon.

According to the first concept, empathy is possible due to inference by analogy. We can directly observe our own actions and mentally connect them with your internal states, feelings, desires, assessments, and so on. Thus, we interpret our behavior by giving it certain value. Based on this, we form an image of ourselves, based on own observations and interpretation. Communicating with others, observing their behavior, we already have a formed image of "I". Further, using ready-made interpretations, with the help of which we explained our own behavior, we try to judge the internal state of other people. We make these judgments on the basis of the similarity between our own actions and the actions of others.

However, if empathy were explained only in this way, a person would never be able to understand the state of another, since he himself had not experienced anything like this before. We would not be able to imagine feelings that we did not have before, thoughts that did not occur to us, etc. In addition, the assumption that the same actions cause the same inner experiences seems doubtful. True, people often say: “What you have not experienced, you will never understand,” but this is hardly an axiom. The assumption that the same internal states are always closely related to the same actions in various people, too often turns out to be false, leads to misunderstandings between them. To express similar feelings or desires, individuals may choose different external forms Thus, while the concept of empathy through analogy helps to understand some ways of knowing people, it does not provide a comprehensive explanation of this complex phenomenon.

According to another concept, empathy is based on the ability to feel through the imagination life situation another person the roles that he plays.

How is this ability developed? To better understand this, it is necessary to analyze the development of empathy in children. In early infancy, the child does not know how to distinguish himself from others. In order for him to form an image of himself, the child must learn to look at himself from the side as an object and influence himself in the same way as he influences other people and objects. Of course, each of you paid attention to the fact that young children often copy adults with their actions, including actions addressed to themselves.

The child imitates the mother's facial expressions, the sounds of her voice, not caring enough to understand their meaning. Over time, the number and variety of actions or words of adults copied by the child increases. The child increasingly addresses his actions to himself, as others did to him. He masters speech and meaning various activities, begins to understand what others want from him and what they think of him. That is, in his imagination, the child tries to put himself in the place of another person in order to look at himself through his eyes.

You can often see how Small child talks to himself, chastises himself, intimidates or praises himself with the words of his mother or father. He, as it were, plays the role of another, at the same time trying to understand him. With the development of thinking and speech, such “climbing into the shoes of others” is increasingly carried out silently, the child plays various roles and situations in his imagination. The child borrows material for these internal dramatizations by imitating specific people, listening to what is read or told to him, remembering films or performances he has seen, etc.

Each of us has a more or less varied repertoire of roles, positions and situations that we can imagine, and it is clear that two different people no two repertoires are the same. All these ideas about possible forms behavior, thoughts and feelings of others, as it were, are hiding behind the scenes of our consciousness. But now there comes a moment when we need to imagine what is happening in the inner world of some person, and we turn to ready-made images, trying to choose among them those that seem suitable for us. this person.

Although such an internal representation of the world of others is part of our personality, sometimes it feels as if we are really penetrating into inner world another person. This feeling is accompanied by confidence:

"I know for sure what's going on with him." Of course, such confidence is illusory, since one can never be sure that one absolutely accurately imagines the state of feelings and thoughts of another. We do not know exactly what is the mechanism for the formation of such representations. It is known, however, that their choice is not based on a systematic and orderly mental activity but through intuition. Intuition can be developed by improving the skills of adequate representation of what is happening in the inner world of others. by the most the best criterion assessment of the correctness of our ideas about the experiences of another person is his reaction to our assumptions, confirming or refuting their validity.

It seems that a person's ability to empathize is the higher, the richer and more diverse his ideas about other people, the more flexible and inventive he uses them. From everything that has been said above, it becomes clear that understanding other people is closely related to understanding oneself. Trying to know himself, the reasons for his actions and needs, a person resorts to the same methods that he uses to know others. Of course, the image of "I" can significantly affect the understanding of others, but this connection is two-way.

If a person is able to imagine how the same event or phenomenon will be perceived by different people and if he is able to admit the existence of these different points vision, it will be able to adequately reflect the surrounding reality. Increase his chances of establishing good relations with other people. His image of himself will become richer and mature. It is important to remember that contacts between specific people are always carried out on the basis of imaginary connections between the image of oneself and the image of a partner.

Therefore, when military personnel, let's say Private Petrov and Private Sidorov, communicate with each other, we can distinguish at least six figures taking part in the contact:

real Petrov;

Petrov's idea of himself;

Petrov's idea of Sidorov;

real Sidorov;

Sidorov's idea of himself;

Sidorov's idea of Petrov.

Therefore, if military personnel have any problems in relationships and in mutual understanding, it is necessary to help them realize the image of each of these figures and the roles they play.

Although most of these figures are brought to life by our imagination, their existence is nevertheless real, since our efforts to bring ourselves and others in line with these images are real.

1. Andreeva G.M. Social Psychology. M.: Publishing House of Moscow State University, 1980. p.92.

2. Marx K, Engels F. German ideology// op. 2nd ed. v. 3. p. 440.

The experience gained allows the manager to comprehend his actions in the conflict, to optimize the algorithm of activities to resolve conflicts among his subordinates. Chapter 2. Analysis of hazing in the military unit missile troops 2.1 Research interpersonal relationships in a team and identifying hazing behavior of military personnel Many problems exist today in ...

The population is carried out solely for the purpose of mitigating social risks and compensating for lost earnings and other income due to unemployment, disability, old age, etc., then social Security military personnel is largely aimed at stimulating conscientious service and at compensating for legislative restrictions on a number of their general civil rights and freedoms; fourthly...

Openness is, first of all, the ability to be honest and natural in dealing with people. Such behavior, although not a guarantee of absolute mutual understanding, nevertheless helps others to better understand us. In order for openness and sincerity to be mutual, one must also be able to react to manifestations of frankness on the part of a partner in such a way that he feels that he is accepted and supported.

I have already written about the fact that in times of crisis in relations between people, openness takes on special significance, and the ability to be open depends on the degree of self-awareness and self-acceptance. The connection between self-awareness and openness can be illustrated with a model called "Johary's Window"* in honor of the two psychologists who created this model.

* In the name of the model, abbreviations of the names and surnames of its authors are used. - Approx. transl.

Each person is only partially aware of everything that makes up the content of his "I". It can also be said that the people around us only partially understand us. In order to hide some important information from others and from ourselves, we must spend our attention and energy on this, therefore, the more open we are, the more information is available and known, the more likely it is that our communication with others will be full and deep, expressive and efficient.

In accordance with the model, one can imagine that each person carries within himself, as it were, four "spaces" of his personality.

I already wrote above about feedback - information, which we can supply to others and which contains our response to their behavior. The purpose of feedback is, first of all, to help others in a better understanding of how we perceive their actions, what feelings they cause in us, how they affect our state and behavior. The ability to provide feedback in a way that does not cause the partner to feel threatened by us and not to provoke his psychological self-defense is extremely important and is not easy to develop.

Is openness and trust important in a relationship? Undoubtedly. These are one of key criteria successful relationship between man and woman. But as in any business and knowledge - "the devil is in the details", and our perception of such words as "trust" and "openness".

Is it necessary for a woman to trust her man? It's simply not possible without it. happy relationship. Should a man trust his woman? Certainly.

Is openness important in a relationship?

Should a woman be open to her man? If he is worthy of this, and has proved that he deserves it, then a woman should be as open as possible for a man. A woman can tell her man everything.

And a man - should he be as open as possible to a woman? No, absolutely not. A man is a protector, he must protect his woman from stress and unrest, and protect her from the outside world. If he comes home every day and throws out all the problems and dirt that he has collected at work and in society, how will this affect a woman?

She will be very stressed and worried, will be destroyed emotionally. Does anyone like it when a man talks about his problems and complains to his wife? I doubt that such behavior can be considered worthy of the slightest respect.

How does a man deal with problems?

Some women believe that if a man is "despondent", and she sees that something is eating him, then you definitely need to "help" him. To stir him up, to extract all the information from him so that he "poured out his soul."

Women measure by themselves: for a woman, openness is a solution to many problems that she herself comes up with.

Do you know what your compatibility with a man is?

To find out, click on the button below.

A woman speaks out the problem, tells someone her thoughts - and bam, the problem disappears. She ceases to sit importunately in the thoughts of a woman, she flew away to freedom, and the woman feels great. Cleared.

And a woman, seeing a man in sadness, tries to apply her patterns and her feelings to a man. But men are different. They do not need openness to solve their problems.

A man cannot solve a problem by talking it out.

For a man, his problems come from the outside world, at work, in business, in environment- Everywhere a man lies in wait for difficulties and obstacles that he must overcome. But he cannot overcome them just by talking about them.

What does a man need to solve a problem? Take, go and solve the problem! And nothing else. A man needs to act and move. From the fact that he will be open with someone, the problem is outside world won't go anywhere.

How a man and a woman experiences stress and anxiety

When a man experiences stress or some kind of experience, then again, his defense mechanism against this is completely different than that of any woman.

For a man, at such moments, the best thing is to “turn off” the brain, reboot. If a woman is simply not capable of turning off annoying and “difficult” thoughts due to her physiology and her structure, then a man does it with a half turn. It just turns on the "stupid" mode, brain activity is reduced to a minimum, and the man sits and blunts.

This state is a state of restoration for a man, reincarnation. After a man has drooped enough time, he gets up to zero, and goes to solve problems with renewed vigor.

The biggest mistake women make in relationships

Women who do not know about such a property of men that they sometimes need to turn on the "stupidity" mode in order to recover, try to talk a man. If a man goes for it, and pours tubs of dirt on a woman - as a result, the man remains with his problems, and not “reloaded” and rested, while the woman picks up this dirt and suffers.

And who gets better from it?

Dear women - if a man is anxious or withdrawn, all you need is to leave him alone for a while! It's the only one the right way help him get through difficult situation and take a new turn.

Remember the main thing - your behavior means a lot to a man, but if there is no harmony at the level of signs, then the relationship will be very tense. It is very desirable to find out the exact compatibility of your zodiac sign with the sign of a man. This can be done by clicking on the button below:

findings

The man is the backbone of the woman. A man for a woman should be a strong shoulder, on which she can rely at any moment, and in which she can be sure. And this strong and strong shoulder should be not only in physical plane but primarily emotional.

Despite the fact that a woman is much emotionally much stronger than a man, it is a man who is able to absorb most of the female emotions and calm the woman. At the same time, he remains in balance.

This male core, strength and firmness are very important, both for the man himself and for the woman who is next to him. So normal man simply has no right to merge a woman with any problems. He must protect her, surrounding her with care, comfort and love.

And it is the understanding of this fact that will allow both a man and a woman to be in harmony. Both with ourselves and with each other.

And that is why openness and trust are undoubtedly very important factors in relationships, you need to apply "wisely", understanding who is in front of whom, and when, can be open.

If you want to be with your beloved man, you need to figure out if you are compatible according to your zodiac sign?

Find out the exact compatibility with a man by clicking on the button below.

When people trust each other, when there is openness and empathy between them (which happens as a result of applying the communication skills described in the previous step), their interaction instantly goes to new level and acquires a new quality. Such communication becomes fruitful and creative. Something new can be born in it - something that each of the participants in communication could not come to alone. Because in such communication is born and begins to literally gush great amount creative energy.

This explosion of creative energy resulting from truly open and trusting communication is called synergy.

The term "synergy" essentially means the effect that is produced as a result of the interaction of some individual factors, if this effect is greater than simple sum action of these factors separately. For example, as a result brainstorming with the participation of five people can be born genious idea, which would not appear if each of the five thought alone, and then an attempt was made to summarize the results of these reflections. Likewise, five musicians playing individually do not yet form an ensemble. And only their synergistic interaction makes it possible to generate beautiful music, which is something much more than the sum of the sounds extracted by each musician. The principles of synergy are manifested both in nature and in all areas human life- where the interacting parties are tuned to a common wave and are open to mutually enriching contact.

Synergy can manifest itself perfectly in a situation where there is a problem, there are two (or more) people, each of whom has his own vision of the problem and his own view of its solution. By uniting, they can come to a new, more effective and satisfying solution for all, which could not be achieved by separate efforts. Synergy is what cannot be planned, what cannot be achieved techniques. But conditions can be created for synergy. And then it will arise by itself, like a miracle, like a flower that suddenly blossomed in spite of drought and bad weather.

Such conditions necessary for synergy are:

♦ high credit of trust between all participants in communication,

♦ the relationship model “I won - You won” supported by all participants in the communication;

♦ the desire of each participant in communication to first understand the other, and only then to be understood.

Steps 3, 4, 5 are devoted to the development of these skills. In turn, in order to make it possible to use these skills, you need a base, a foundation, namely, the inner independence and freedom of the individual, based on his own center and embedded in it. life principles who is aware of his life credo and the goals and objectives arising from it. The material presented in Steps 1, 2, 3 was devoted to the creation of such a base.

Thus, we gradually, as if on steps, climbed to highest point where all previously acquired skills synergistically merge into one. Synergy in human interaction, co-creation of people, giving birth to some important values for all - this is the goal that people who want to be successful strive for, without achieving which it is impossible to become truly highly effective and fully use the potential given to you by nature.

Many people are more or less familiar with synergy - this is everyone who has at least once achieved some kind of success in collective activity. A sports team inspired by a common success, a well-coordinated game of actors imbued with a single spirit, brilliant discovery, as an insight resulting from the interaction of several scientists - these are just some of the most striking manifestations of synergy. But synergy can also occur in classroom, and in a quiet conversation between two people, and in a noisy discussion - wherever an atmosphere of frankness and enthusiasm arises, where everyone strives to understand and hear everyone as best as possible, where people feel safe and do not seek to take a defensive or offensive position. In such a situation, all the best that is in people is revealed, from which everyone has very strong positive emotions that inspire, inspire, allow you to penetrate deeper into the essence of things and give rise to collective creative impulses that go beyond the limits of the capabilities of each individual participant.

All best solutions in business, in science, art, in any form collective creativity, as well as in personal relationships, owe their birth to synergy.

“People begin to understand each other instantly, almost from a half-word, from snippets of phrases. And now, whole new worlds, new horizons, new paradigms with many solutions and new opportunities open up before them, giving food for thought. Of course, sometimes it happens that these new ideas hang in the air, but, as a rule, they are reflected in real, practical solutions.

Stephen Covey. Seven Habits highly effective people

People who are well acquainted with this kind of spiritual uplift, born of genuine interaction of a group of people, can be called happy: because they know what it means to fully open their mind, heart, soul towards other people for the sake of a common goal and the fullest realization of their own possibilities. But there are not so many such people. Most met with only minor manifestations of synergy. According to Stephen Covey, this real tragedy: after all, a person lives his life without trying to reveal, reveal to the world and use the huge creative, intellectual, emotional potential inherent in it.

Consider how we can overcome the obstacles that hinder the real synergistic interaction between people.

admin

Openness is the desire to let the other into your own world: private and secret. Social openness is manifested in the willingness to let people into their social world, the desire to communicate, the desire to get to know each other. Inner openness is expressed in the desire to let into one's own spiritual world another person, show personal attitude, true thoughts.

Candor is the desire to open up own thoughts and feelings hidden from the rest.

Frankness and openness

But what else expresses openness and frankness? What are the definitions of these concepts?

Personality with open mind is confident in own forces Human. Such people are ready to communicate, they are sociable. Similar personalities tend to support others, they share thoughts and emotions.

As far as we are willing to let another person into a certain world of our own, that is openness. Than in large quantity spheres of life we let strangers in, the more openness we are characterized.

Public openness is manifested outwardly. Spiritual openness can warm you with a sincere attitude. And frankness will give a person the truth. In everyday terms, openness refers primarily to internal openness.

Internal openness will require trust. The one who believes is more likely to open up to others, because the concepts of "trust" and "openness" are often considered synonymous.

Negative properties of openness

But openness does not always apply to positive qualities. There are also negative properties of openness. Its untimely manifestation is regarded by others as an obsession, it is characteristic of thoughtless simplicity. Openness is not always timely, and reporting redundant information can be costly.

Spiritually healthy individuals are open to others, but in reasonable limits. Openness and trust are important elements in building warm relationships, but thoughtless trust is stupid.

There are many different people in the world, and the environment of a person is not always friendly. If you trust everyone and everyone, then this will cause many problems and troubles. In addition to the ability to trust, it is also important to be able to understand others, to have internal security. But such a concept should not be considered closed.

Closing is more negative side, but security is positive. Successful people often follow the well-known principle that it is worth believing in the best, but preparing yourself for the worst. And truly those who are protected in psychologically. These people are hard to hurt.

If a person is self-confident and strong, then it is easier for her to trust and be open. Purpose of development inner strength, security - correct and important. It does not remove, but complements the understanding that trust is important value in life.

Properties of frankness

As for the properties of frankness, they are also distinguished by positive and negative aspects. A frank person is ready to open his own inner world of emotions and thoughts to another.

The manifestation of revelation is the desire to tell or tell about the personal, intimate, often secret aspects of life. This concept is valued as honesty, an indicator of trust. Frankness refers to intimacy, close relationships between people.

But untimely, excessive or objectionable frankness becomes a violation of the rules of etiquette. Unlike sincerity (expression of true feelings and intentions), the manifestation of frankness sometimes does not apply to the interlocutor. This does not always evoke pleasant emotions.

If a sincere person is usually focused on the future, then a frank person often tells others about the choice made, actions, about the present spiritual state. But a frank person at the same time sometimes remains sincere. This creates additional stress, as a person is directly told not only the truth about the attitude towards him, but the absolute truth.

Usually frankness is distinguished by a confessional character. A person takes off his load, reports his own weaknesses, negative qualities, complexes, bad deeds. If the manifestation of this quality goes along with the mind, then it is regarded as trust and honesty. This is an indicator of feelings. Such behavior will soon weed out unnecessary personalities in any area of life. In addition, frankness is sometimes combined with the need to seek advice in a particular personal situation.

Frankness becomes a way out of everyday relationships, when this manifestation is mutual - good, but unilaterally it brings negativity. Frankness becomes an object of manipulation, but at the same time it itself acts as a tool for manipulating others.

Psychologists note that frankness. It is enough to entrust someone with the secret of how this person feels more important and significant than before. It is worth noting that neither time nor spiritual costs are required in order to give others a chance to feel more confident.

Sometimes frankness becomes the cause of moral and psychological tension, because when a person is directly told the truth about him, but he is not ready to accept it, this degenerates into complexes, etc. But too much frankness becomes recklessness.

How to be an open person

If you often hear that you are too closed a person or not too open, and you want to change this opinion about yourself, then you will have to work on yourself. Consider options for how to become an open person.

Start by being around other people more often. If you spend the lion's share of your time on the Internet, reading books or watching movies, then the situation will not budge. You do not have to fight for the title of leader in the company, it is enough to set other goals: to become a useful, irreplaceable, attentive interlocutor.

Sometimes a person is closed because of the fear of saying the wrong thing at the wrong moment. There is some truth in this. With the development of openness self should be reasonable. A person must open up consciously, understand when and why he does it.

What is the connection with openness? If others consider you closed, this indicates that people do not like communicating with you too much. And if your efforts make them tell something interesting, then this brings them joy.

You don't have to constantly say something, but if you are expressing an opinion, then indicate own attitude. It's easy, it's enough to say instead of on-duty phrases those that express emotions about an event or story.

Another task is more difficult, but it is available. We'll have to work on the expressiveness of facial expressions. own position it is possible to show not only with words, but also with a surprised look, head tilts, pursed lips. The main thing is that this expression is noticed by others. To do this, be sure to stretch your facial muscles on the eve of significant meetings, before going out into society. In each case, work on the expressiveness of emotions.

And finally, when you express own opinion about something, try to do it more often with positive emotions. Irritation, sadness, fatigue are also elements of openness, but attractive person considered the one with whom the mood.

Frankness and openness help to establish loved ones and trusting relationship with those around you. The main thing is to remember reasonable manifestation these concepts, it is impossible to open one's own thoughts to everyone and everyone. Openness should be moderate and appropriate.

April 1, 2014

Portal for the student. Self-training