The following can be distinguished types of hearing: passive listening, active listening, empathic listening.

The type of listening, in which the reflection of information comes to the fore, is called active listening. The most common techniques that characterize active listening are constant clarification of the correct understanding of the information that the interlocutor wants to convey to you by asking clarifying questions like: “Did I understand you correctly, what? ..”, paraphrases: “Thus, you want to say. ..” or “In other words, did you mean...”. Application of such simple tricks communication achieves two goals at once:

Adequate feedback is provided, your interlocutor gains confidence that the information transmitted by him is correctly understood.

You indirectly inform the interlocutor that in front of him is not a child to whom you can point, and not a “dictaphone” into which you can dictate your thoughts and reasoning, but an equal partner. Occupation by you of an equal partner position means that both interlocutors must be responsible for their every word. This goal is achieved faster than the first, especially in those cases when you are dealing with an authoritarian, tough interlocutor who is used to communicating from a “pedestal” position. Application of skills active listening It will help you a lot if you are in the “victim” position, since this application not only knocks the authoritarian interlocutor out of the usual position, but also raises you to the level of an equal conversation, makes it possible to focus on the essential points of the conversation, and not on your own feelings and fears.

3. Active listening is indispensable in business negotiations, in situations where your communication partner is equal to you or stronger than you, as well as in conflict situations when the interlocutor behaves aggressively or demonstrates his superiority. This is a very good way to calm down and tune in yourself (and set up your interlocutor) for a business wave, if you have a desire to tease your partner, develop the conflict that has begun.

A typical mistake people when using active listening is purely formal following the rules, without really reflecting the content of the conversation. In such cases, a person asks the “necessary” question: “Did I understand you correctly that ...”, but, having not heard the answer, continues to develop his arguments in favor of his own point of view, ignoring, in fact, the point of view of the interlocutor. Then such a person is surprised that the “Active Listening Technique” does not work: “I said:“ If I understood you correctly, then ... ”, but we still didn’t understand each other, and the interlocutor became angry with me. For what?"

The fact is that active listening, like any kind of listening, implies constant awareness of your “I-listenings”, and only if there is a filter “I want to understand you” or if there are no filters at all, active listening will work. Active listening only works when you take into account the situation, the content of the conversation and emotional condition interlocutor. Active listening only makes sense if your partner is at least your equal. It happens, however, that you have to listen to a person who is in a state of emotional affect, in a state of strong emotional arousal, in which case active listening techniques will not work. Your interlocutor is not literally an interlocutor, he is now just a person who does not control his emotions, is not able to capture the content of the conversation. He needs only one thing - to calm down, to come into a state of normal self-control, only after that you can communicate with him “on an equal footing”. In such cases, the so-called passive listening.

It is important here to just listen to the person, just let him know that he is not alone, that you listen to him, understand and are ready to support him. In this case, the so-called “uh-huh-reaction” works best of all: “yes, yes, uh-huh, of course,” and the so-called. The fact is that the emotional state of a person is like a pendulum: having reached highest point emotional intensity, a person begins to “go down”, calm down; then the strength of his feelings increases again, reaching the highest point, it falls again, etc. If you do not interfere in this process, do not “swing” the pendulum additionally, then, having spoken out, the person will calm down, and, having felt this, you can already communicate it's ok with him. Do not be silent, because deaf silence in any person causes irritation, and in an excited person this irritation will be intensified. Do not ask him clarifying questions, because the question: “Do you want to dig out what she told you so-and-so?”, Asked in response to the remark: “And can you imagine, then she tells me ... and I tell her I answer ... ”, will only cause an outburst of indignation from your partner. Do not tell your partner: "Calm down, don't worry, everything will be fine," - he cannot adequately understand these words, they outrage him, it seems to him that his problem is underestimated, that he is not understood. Sometimes in such cases it is useful to “attach” to a partner, repeat his words, emotions, movements, that is, behave like him, be like him, share his feelings. But, if it is difficult for you to do this naturally, it is better not to try to repeat the actions, words of an emotional partner, because, having noticed your insincerity, he will evaluate your actions as a mockery of his feelings.

If your partner's emotions are directed at you, the main task- do not get infected from the interlocutor with his emotions, do not fall into the same emotional state, which will certainly lead to a violent conflict, "showdown". Your "I-listening" in this case could be called the word "resentment" (in this case, you were offended, it seemed to you that you were accused of something) or the words "I'm right anyway" (a remark made to you in an emotional tone was perceived by you as another threat and caused a desire to additionally assert that you are right - and you began to vigorously prove it).

Passive listening actually requires some mental work, the work of becoming aware of your “I-listenings”. Passive listening techniques will be effective only if you are aware of what "I-listening" you have in advance. this moment whether you are able to hear the emotion that now dominates your partner without distorting filters, without relating it to yourself, without being infected by it, without reacting to it personally. If yes, then your listening will be successful, if not, then you will just succumb to the emotional pressure that comes from your interlocutor, and in fact be the object of his manipulation.

Let's think about why you tell someone about your problems? Maybe to listen to advice on how you should behave in this situation? Or in order to be evaluated, told whether you are behaving correctly? Or maybe in order to hear how the interlocutor behaved in a similar situation? Probably not, though. If you look at yourself frankly, you will understand that the main thing in such cases is the desire to be understood, to share with you those feelings, those experiences that you experience. So the main thing, apparently, is precisely in this - in understanding the feelings of the interlocutor and empathy with him. This is the secret of good listening, one that brings relief to the other person and, unexpectedly, opens up new ways for him to understand himself. In this way, empathic listening allows you to experience the same feelings that the interlocutor experiences, reflect these feelings, understand the emotional state of the interlocutor and share it. In empathic listening, they do not give advice, do not seek to evaluate the speaker, do not moralize, do not criticize, do not teach.

Empathic Listening Rules:

It is necessary to tune in to listening: forget about your problems for a while, free your soul from your own experiences and try to rebuild from ready-made attitudes and prejudices regarding the interlocutor. Only in this case you will be able to understand what your interlocutor feels, to “see” his emotions.

In his reaction to the words partner, you must accurately reflect the experience, feeling, emotion behind his statement, but do it in such a way as to demonstrate to the interlocutor that his feeling is not only correctly understood, but accepted by you.

You need to pause. After your answer, the interlocutor usually needs to remain silent, think. Remember that this time belongs to him - do not fill it with your additional considerations, explanations, clarifications. A pause is necessary for a person in order to understand his experience.

It must be remembered that empathic listening is not an interpretation of the secret motives of his behavior hidden from the interlocutor. It is only necessary to reflect the feeling of the partner, but not to explain to him the reason for the emergence of this feeling in him. Remarks like: “So this is because you are just jealous of your friend” or “In fact, you would like to be paid attention to you all the time” cannot cause anything but rejection and protection.

In cases where the partner is excited, when the conversation develops in such a way that he says “without closing his mouth”, and your conversation is already quite confidential, it is not at all necessary to answer with detailed phrases, it is enough just to support the partner with interjections, short phrases like “yes -yes", "uh-huh", nod your head or repeat his last words.

The rules of empathic listening are not easy to follow: you need to become aware of your “I-listenings”. For example, if you hear from a friend: “You’re shitting, my husband is calling me ...” - and suddenly you feel a surge of indignation and empathy for the speaker, because you yourself experienced the same in your family life. There will be no empathic listening here if you fail to be aware of your "I-listening" at this moment, are not aware of your own uncontrollable emotions. And then in your soul there will be a place for the feelings of another person. The state of empathic listening is the state of the soul without filters. Perhaps this amazing emotional state, when the soul is open, is the most natural state a person with high self-esteem. He simultaneously "resonates" with the soul of a partner and continues to be himself.

The syntonic model of communication considers communication as the result of a complex interaction between the processes of perception and thinking (perception + thinking + communication). The process of communication begins with perception, it is with its help that a person establishes contact with the world and people. Our sense organs are like five doors that we open to collect information about the surrounding reality. Our consciousness opens these “doors” in turn: for one person, first for pictures, then for smells, for another, first for sounds, then for touches. It's a very fast sequence, but a sequence nonetheless. Our subconscious mind perceives information through all five channels simultaneously and receives much more information than consciousness. The syntonic model of communication is based on the idea that each person has his own "favorite door of perception" - that representative system whom he trusts more than others. For example, if your favorite system is visual (visual), then you perceive and store the world in “pictures” in your memory. It has been established that the leading representative system is externally manifested in eye movements, the choice of words used in communication, in the features of breathing and even posture.

If you know which representational system your communication partner prefers, you can use words that correspond to his "favorite" perception model. People about the visual model of perception easily understand some demolitions, about the auditory (auditory) and kinesthetic - others. If you choose and use words correctly, in accordance with the interlocutor's leading representational system, you will be considered a person with whom it is pleasant to communicate, with whom it is easy to establish contact and mutual understanding.

How do you know which representational system a person prefers? To do this, you need to carefully observe him. The words he uses will say a lot. Even more eloquent will be his non-verbal behavior: eye movement, tempo and timbre of voice, breathing, posture. This important information cannot be faked, it comes directly from the subconscious, it is only important to learn how to recognize and use it.

Man with visual representational system, going to say something, goes through and looks through the pictures in memory to determine what is happening at the moment. This is done very quickly, and his eyes are defocused on a spot at a distance of about 60 cm from the nose. If you stand right in this place, you can prevent such a person from thinking: he can even become angry. The speech of visual people is dominated by words of visual meaning: “see”, “clear”, “colorful”, “I see what you mean”, etc. Their speech rate is higher than that of people with auditory and kinesthetic representative systems.

Man with auditory representational system, going to say something, listens to his inner voice. It is difficult for him to make a choice; inner voice constantly leads the discussion, not knowing what to give preference to. The eyes of a person at this time look to the right or left, moving along the midline, or go down and to the left. The speech of auditory people is dominated by the words: “I am listening to you”, “let's discuss”, “what tone”, “intonation”, “shouts”, etc.

People with kinesthetic representational system before you say, listen to your inner feelings, and their eyes involuntarily look down-to the right. The speech of kinesthetics is dominated by the words: “touch”, “touch”, “palpable”, “painful”, “heavy”, “I feel a problem”, “heavy at heart”, etc.

Another type is added to the classical triad of people - "reasonable people", or "computers" - these are those who do not react to their feelings, but to designations, names, words, "labels" that designate all their sensations and images. Their eye movements are difficult to catch, they prefer to use the words: “we need to figure it out”, “analyze”, “systematize”, etc.

Subject Pedagogy is the study of the essence of the formation and development of the human personality and the development on this basis of the theory and methodology of education as a specially organized pedagogical process.

Pedagogy explores the following issues:

study of the essence and patterns of development and formation of personality and their influence on education;

determination of the goals of education;

development of the content of education;

research and development of methods of education.

An objectknowledge in pedagogya person who develops as a result of educationalrelations. Subject Pedagogy - educational relations that ensure the development of a person.

Pedagogy is the science of how to educate a person, how to help him become spiritually rich, creatively active and completely satisfied with life, find a balance with nature and society.

Pedagogy is sometimes seen as both a science and an art. When we are talking about education, it must be borne in mind that it has two aspects - theoretical and practical. Theoretical aspect of education is the subject of scientific and pedagogical research. In this sense, pedagogy acts as a science and is a set of theoretical and methodological ideas on education.

Another thing is practical educational activity. Its implementation requires the teacher to master the relevant educational skills and abilities, which can have varying degrees of perfection and reach the level of pedagogical art. From a semantic point of view, it is necessary to distinguish between pedagogy as a theoretical science and practical educational activities as an art.

The subject of pedagogical science in its strictly scientific and precise understanding is education as special function human society. Based on this understanding of the subject of pedagogy, we will consider the main pedagogical categories.

The categories include the most capacious and general concepts that reflect the essence of science, its established and typical properties. In any science, categories play a leading role, they permeate everything scientific knowledge and, as it were, bind it into an integral system.

Education is a social, purposeful creation of conditions (material, spiritual, organizational) for the new generation to assimilate socio-historical experience in order to prepare it for social life and productive work. The category of "education" is one of the main ones in pedagogy. Characterizing the scope of the concept, education is distinguished in a wide social sense, including in it the impact on the personality of society as a whole, and education in the narrow sense - as a purposeful activity designed to form a system of personality traits, attitudes and beliefs. Education is often interpreted in an even more local sense - as a solution to a specific educational task (for example, the education of certain character traits, cognitive activity, etc.). Thus, upbringing is a purposeful formation of a personality based on the formation of 1) certain attitudes towards objects, phenomena of the surrounding world; 2) worldview; 3) behavior (as a manifestation of attitude and worldview). We can distinguish types of education (mental, moral, physical, labor, aesthetic, etc.).

Being a complex social phenomenon, education is the object of study of a number of sciences. Philosophy explores the ontological and epistemological foundations of education, formulates the most general ideas about higher goals and the values ​​of education, according to which its specific means are determined.

Sociology studies the problem of the socialization of the individual, reveals the social problems of its development.

Ethnography examines the patterns of education among the peoples of the world at different stages of historical development, existing among different peoples"canon" of education and its specific features,

Psychology reveals individual, age characteristics and patterns of development and behavior of people, which is the most important prerequisite for determining the methods and means of education.

Pedagogy explores the essence of education, its laws, trends and development prospects, develops theories and technologies of education, determines its principles, content, forms and methods.

Education is a concrete historical phenomenon, closely related to the socio-economic, political and cultural level of society and the state.

Humanity ensures the development of each person through education, passing on the experience of its own and previous generations.

Development is an objective process of internal consistent quantitative and qualitative changes in the physical and spiritual forces of a person.

Can be distinguished physical development(changes in height, weight, strength, proportions of the human body), physiological development (changes in body functions in the field of the cardiovascular, nervous systems, digestion, childbirth, etc.), mental development(complication of the processes of human reflection of reality: sensation, perception, memory, thinking, feelings, imagination, as well as more complex mental formations: needs, motives, activities, abilities, interests, value orientations). social development of a person consists in his gradual entry into society, into social, ideological, economic, industrial, legal and other relations. Having mastered these relations and his functions in them, a person becomes a member of society. The crown is spiritual development of man. It means understanding his high purpose in life, the emergence of responsibility to present and future generations, understanding the complex nature of the universe and striving for constant moral improvement. A measure of spiritual development can be the degree of responsibility of a person for his physical, mental, social development, for his life and the lives of other people. Spiritual development more and more recognized as the core of the formation of personality in man.

Ability to develop the most important property personality throughout a person's life. The physical, mental and social development of the individual is carried out under the influence of external and internal, social and natural, controlled and uncontrolled factors. It occurs in the process of assimilation by a person of values, norms, attitudes, patterns of behavior inherent in a given society on this stage development.

It may seem that education is secondary to development. In fact, their relationship is more complicated. In the process of educating a person, his development takes place, the level of which then affects the upbringing, changes it. A more perfect upbringing accelerates the pace of development. Throughout a person's life, upbringing and development mutually provide each other.

The category of “education” is widely used: to transfer experience, therefore, to educate, it is possible in the family, it is possible through the means mass media, in museums through art, in the management system through politics, ideology, etc. But education stands out among the forms of education.

Education is a specially organized system of external conditions created in society for human development. Specially organized education system- these are educational institutions, institutions for advanced training and retraining of personnel. It transfers and receives the experience of generations according to the goals, programs, structures with the help of specially trained teachers. All educational institutions in the state are united in a single system of education, through which the management of human development takes place.

Education in the literal sense means the creation of an image, a certain completeness of education in accordance with a certain age level. Therefore, education is interpreted as a process and a result of a person's assimilation of the experience of generations in the form of a system of knowledge, skills, attitudes.

Education can be considered in different semantic planes:

Education as a system has a certain structure and hierarchy of its elements in the form of scientific and educational institutions different type(preschool, primary, secondary, secondary special, higher education, postgraduate education).

Education as a process presupposes extension in time, the difference between the initial and final states of the participants in this process; manufacturability, providing changes, transformations.

Education as a result indicates completion educational institution and certifying this fact with a certificate.

Education ultimately provides a certain level of development of a person's cognitive needs and abilities, a certain level of knowledge, skills, skills, his preparation for a current or other type of practical activity. Distinguish between common and special education. General education provides each person with such knowledge, abilities, skills that are necessary for him for comprehensive development and are basic for

obtaining further special, vocational education. In terms of the level and volume of content, both general and special education can be primary, secondary and higher. Now, when the need for continuous education arises, the term “adult education”, post-graduate education, has appeared. Under the content of education, V. S. Lednev understands “... the content of a triune holistic process, characterized, firstly, by the assimilation of the experience of previous generations (education), secondly, by the upbringing of the typological qualities of a person (education), thirdly, human physical development (development). Three components of education follow from here: training, education, development.

EDUCATION

RELATIONS

EDUCATION DEVELOPMENT UPBRINGING

Education is a specific type of pedagogical process, during which, under the guidance of a specially trained person (teacher, lecturer), the socially determined tasks of educating a person are implemented in close connection with its upbringing and development.

Learning is a process of direct transmission and reception of the experience of generations in the interaction of the teacher and students. As a learning process, it includes two parts: teaching, during which the transfer (transformation) of a system of knowledge, skills, experience of activity is carried out, and teaching (student activity) as the assimilation of experience through its perception, comprehension, transformation and use.

Principles, patterns, goals, content, forms and methods of teaching are studied by didactics.

But training, upbringing, education denote forces external to the person himself: someone educates him, someone educates him, someone teaches him. These factors seem to be transpersonal. But after all, a person himself is active from birth, he is born with the ability to develop. He is not a vessel into which the experience of mankind “merges”, he himself is capable of acquiring this experience and creating something new. Therefore, the main mental factors of human development are self-education, self-education, self-training, self-improvement.

self-education- this is the process of assimilation by a person of the experience of previous generations through internal mental factors that ensure development. Education, if it is not violence, is impossible without self-education. They should be seen as two sides of the same process. Through self-education, a person can self-educate.

Self-education is a system of internal self-organization for mastering the experience of generations, aimed at own development. self-learning is the process of direct acquisition by a person of the experience of generations through his own aspirations and his own chosen means.

In terms of "self-education", "self-education » , "self-learning" pedagogy describes the internal spiritual world man, his ability to develop independently. External factors - upbringing, education, training - are only conditions, means of awakening them, putting them into action. That is why philosophers, educators, psychologists say that it is in the human soul that driving forces its development.

Carrying out upbringing, education, training, people in society enter into certain relations with each other - these are educational relations. parenting relationship there is a kind of relationship between people, aimed at the development of a person through upbringing, education, training. Educational relations are aimed at the development of a person as a person, that is, at the development of his self-education, self-education, self-learning. A variety of means can be included in educational relations: technology, art, nature. Based on this, such types of educational relations are distinguished as "man - man", "man - book - man", "man - technology - man", "man - art - man", "man - nature - man". The structure of educational relations includes two subjects and an object. The subjects can be a teacher and his student, a teaching staff and a team of students, parents, i.e. those who transmit and who learn the experience of generations. Therefore, in pedagogy, subject-subject relations are distinguished. In order to better transfer knowledge, skills, and abilities, the subjects of educational relations use, in addition to the word, some materialized means - objects. Relationships between subjects and objects are commonly referred to as subject-object relationships. Educator-

Relationships are a microcell where external factors (upbringing, education, training) converge with internal human ones (self-education, self-education, self-training). As a result of such interaction, the development of a person is obtained, a personality is formed.

OBJECT of knowledge - a person developing as a result of educational relationships. The subject of pedagogy is educational relations that ensure the development of a person.

Pedagogy is the science of educational relations that arise in the process of the relationship of upbringing, education and training with self-education, self-education and self-training and aimed at human development (V. S. Bezrukova). Pedagogy can be defined as the science of translating the experience of one generation into the experience of another.

Each person is much more pleasant to communicate with an interlocutor who knows how to listen, and not just chat. All studies have shown that only ten percent of people can listen to their interlocutor. In the article you will learn main types and techniques of active listening.

Each person wants to see in his interlocutor a friendly and attentive listener who happily supports the conversation. Therefore, everyone is pleased to communicate not with the person who knows how to speak, but with the one who knows how to listen. Studies have confirmed the fact that only about ten percent of humanity knows how to listen to their interlocutor. It is no coincidence that the direction of active empathic listening was introduced during the training of managers of the most leading countries of the world.

The most important thing when listening is the feedback, thanks to which the interlocutor gets the feeling that his words are not pronounced in vain, but are important for the interlocutor. There are two content levels in various statements: the emotional level and the informational level. Also, feedback is of two types: a reflection of the speaker's feelings and a reflection of information.

There are several ways to actively listen: assent; deaf silence - no reaction; "mirror" - repetition of the last phrase of your interlocutor with a change in the order of words; "echo reaction" - repetition of the last word of your interlocutor; motivation; suggestive questions; clarifying questions; "paraphrase" - conveying the essence of the interlocutor's statement in other words; continuation - the listener wedged into the story of his interlocutor and diligently tries to complete his phrase; assessments and advice; emotions; "rude reactions"; irrelevant statements - statements that are not relevant at all this case or they are only formal; logical consequences - assumptions about the causes of ongoing events from the statements of the interlocutor; neglect of the interlocutor - lack of attention to the words of the partner or ignoring the interlocutor; questioning - asking a lot of questions without specifying your goal.

There are three steps in active listening: clarification; support; commenting.

During the support period of the conversation, the most important goal- give the opportunity to your interlocutor to express the accepted position, the appropriate reactions of the listener to the interlocutor at this stage - assent, silence, emotional "accompaniment", "echo".

In order to understand during the process of clarifying the goal that you have correctly understood your interlocutor, leading and clarifying questions, a paraphrase, are asked. At the moment of commenting on his interlocutor, the listener must express his opinion about what he heard - the listener gives his assessments, advice or comments.

There are two types of hearing: active listening, empathic listening and passive listening.

During active listening in the foreground is the reflection of information. Common Active Listening Techniques: Constant Refinement correct understanding information received through clarifying questions. Types and techniques of active listening only work if you take into account the current situation, the content of this conversation and the emotional state of your partner. Also, techniques and types of active listening are best used only when the interlocutor is equal to you.

There are situations when you need to listen to a person who is in emotional affect, so in this situation, the types and techniques of active listening will not work in any way, because at that moment your interlocutor will be just a person who cannot control his emotions and is unable to catch the content conversation. In this case, you should reassure the partner so that he can cope with self-control, and only then it will be possible to continue the conversation on an equal footing. In situations like this, passive listening works great. So, when a person is in a state of emotional affect, it is recommended to simply listen to him and give him the opportunity to understand that you support him and listen carefully, it is best to use - "uh-huh-reactions".

The emotional state of a person resembles a pendulum, because reaching the highest point emotional intensity, emotions begin to calm down, then the strength of feelings increases, reaches the highest point and falls again. If the process of the “pendulum” is not interfered with, the person will completely speak out and calm down, and then you can continue a normal conversation.

Without exception, all people want to share their experiences and feelings with them, as well as to understand. Therefore, the most important thing is empathy and understanding of the partner's feelings. And the secret to excellent listening is to give your interlocutor relief and discover new unseen ways to understand your own self.

Conclusion: empathic listening gives you the opportunity to experience the same feelings that your partner is experiencing, reflect these same feelings, understand the emotional state of your interlocutor and share it. Also, it is important to know that empathic listening does not offer advice, judgment, criticism, teaching, or morality.

There are a number of rules for empathic listening:

The most important thing is to tune in to listening, that is, to forget about your problems for a certain amount of time, because this is the only way you can understand the emotions of your partner.

In your reactions to the statements of the interlocutor, you must express experiences, emotions and feelings.

Maintain pauses. After your answers, the interlocutor should think and be silent, and you should know that this is only his time and you should not hammer him with your clarifications and considerations.

Empathic listening only requires reflecting the partner's feelings and does not need to explain to him the reason for the occurrence of such feelings.

If your partner is excited, it is best to keep the conversation going. in short sentences and interjections.

LISTENING TECHNIQUES

The ability to listen is the most important condition for productive communication. What is listening and why is the possession of this skill so important for establishing psychological contact and creating a sense of satisfaction from communication?

Often listening is understood as passive behavior in conversation, that is, non-verbal behavior, "not speaking". In this case, while one of the partners is talking, the other only silently waits for a break in his speech at best, and as soon as he stops talking, he starts talking about his problems. AT worst case he begins to do this without waiting for a break, that is, interrupting his partner. Remember cases from your life when communication took place exactly according to this scheme and remember the feelings that arose in you in these cases. Would you like to continue talking about your problems, especially if these problems are important and meaningful to you? Did you have a feeling of confidential communication, a feeling that you are being listened to attentively and your partner needs you?

Probably the answer will be negative. Why did this happen?

Remember other cases when someone listened to you in such a way that you wanted to talk to this person again and again, when after talking with him you had a feeling of relief, a sense of your importance, need.

The thing is that listening is not silence, but a more complex, active process, during which invisible connections are somehow established between people, that feeling of mutual understanding arises, which makes any communication effective.

One of the most important moments in any listening is the moment of feedback, thanks to which the interlocutor gets the feeling that he is not speaking into the void, but with a living person who listens and understands him. Moreover, in any statement there are at least two meaningful levels: the informational level and the emotional level. In this regard, feedback can be of two types: reflection of information and reflection of the speaker's feelings. The type of listening, in which the reflection of information comes to the fore, we will call ACTIVE LISTENING.

What is active listening and what does it do?

To find out if a person uses active listening techniques, you need to pay attention to whether he asks clarifying questions, whether he gives “feedback” to the speaker using a paraphrase: “Did I understand you correctly that ..?” and whether he waits for an answer: "You understood me correctly" (or similar in meaning). The use of such simple at first glance techniques allows you to achieve the following:

Providing adequate feedback, your interlocutor gains confidence that the information transmitted by him is correctly understood.

You indirectly inform the interlocutor thatin front of him not a child to whom you can point, and not a "dictaphone" into which you can dictate your thoughts and reasoning, and his equal partner. Partner position means that bothThe interlocutor must be responsible for their words. This goal is achieved faster than the first, especially in cases where you are dealing with an authoritarian, tough interlocutor. The use of active listening skills will help a lot if you are in the “victim” position, as it not only knocks you down from the usual position of an authoritarian interlocutor, but also raises you to the level of partner communication, makes it possible to focus on the essential points of the conversation, and not on your own experiences and concerns.

Active listening is indispensable in business negotiations, in situations where the communication partner is equal to you or stronger than you, as well as in conflict situations when the interlocutor behaves aggressively and / or demonstrates his superiority. It is also a very good way to calm down and tune in yourself (and set up your interlocutor) for a business wave, if you have a desire to tease your partner, develop the conflict that has begun. A typical mistake teachers make when learning active listening is to follow the rules in a purely formal way without really reflecting the content of the conversation. In such cases, the person asks the "right" question“Did I understand you correctly that…”, but not hearing the answershe continues to develop arguments in favor of her own pointki point of view, actually ignoring the point of view of the interlocutor. Then suchthe teacher is surprised that the active listening technique "does not work."“I said: “If I understood you correctly, then ...”, but we still don’t They accepted each other, and the interlocutor became angry with me. For what?"

So active listening involves:

Interested attitude to the interlocutor.

Clarifying questions.

Paraphrase by type: “Did I understand correctly that…?”(with a question mark at the end of the phrase).

Getting an answer to your question (this could be: "Not really,wrong", "Not exactly, I mean...").

The fact is that active listening, like any other effective listening, implies constant awareness of one’s “I-listenings” and only in the presence of filters "I want to understand you", "It's interesting" active listening will "work".

Is active listening always necessary?

Like any other technique, active listening techniques are not universal. They only work when you consider the situation, the content of the conversation, and the emotional state. interlocutor. Active listening only makes sense if your partner is at least equal to you. It happens, however, that you have to listen to a person who is in a state of passion, in a state of strong emotional arousal, and in this case, active listening techniques will not work. Your interlocutor is not literally an interlocutor, he is now just a person who does not control his own emotions, is not able to capture the content of the conversation, and he does not need it. And he needs only one thing - to calm down, come to a state of normal self-control, and only after that it will be possible to communicate with him “on an equal footing”, only after that he is able to HEAR what you say to him.

In such cases, the so-called PASSIVE LISTENING works effectively.

What is passive listening?

If you are dealing with a person who is in a state of passion, strong emotional arousal, you just need to calm him down. Usually a person in this state does not control his emotions very well and does not understand very well what exactly he is saying. Therefore, to reflect information or his feelings to him is completely meaningless and even harmful. This will most likely cause him an additional explosion of irritation. Block words do not help either: "Calm down", "Don't cry""You don't have to be nervous." Therefore, it is important to simply LISTEN to a person, just let him know that he is not alone, that you hear him, understand and are ready to support him. Best of all, the so-called "yup-reactions" work: "Yeah, yeah, uh huh, of course" etc. The fact is that the emotional state of a person is like a pendulum: having reached the highest point of emotional intensity, a person begins to “go down”, calm down and come to his senses. If you do not try to stop the pendulum, then, having spoken out, the person will calm down and, having felt it, you will be able to communicate with him normally. Do not be silent, because deaf silence in any person causes irritation, and in an excited person this irritation will be intensified.

This technique, therefore, requires one thing from you: that the conversation is not interrupted until the interlocutor "cools down". Therefore, in those moments when the interlocutor falls silent, ask clarifying questions in the most natural tone: "And what did he tell you?" or "And what did you answer?" or "Where was Masha at that time?" Your main task is not to get infected from the interlocutor with his emotions, which is not so easy to do, especially if these emotions are directed at you, and not to fall into the same emotional state, which will certainly lead to a violent conflict, “showdown” and ultimately, to very unpleasant feelings. Remember some case when you reacted to a stormy emotional remark of one of your students, parents, work colleagues with the same emotional intensity, remember how this conversation ended and try to realize the state in which you were at the time of it. start. Have you been annoyed by something? You were in a bad mood, before that you had some kind of trouble? Was this conversation preceded by another one of the same kind? Probably, it was so, and all this suggests that your “I-listening” at that moment could be called the word “Resentment” (your Victim woke up), or maybe “I’m right anyway” (and then the remark you said in an emotional tone was perceived by you as another threat and caused a desire to additionally assert that you are right, and you began to vigorously prove it).

Passive listening is thus passive in name only. In fact, it requires a certain mental work, the work of becoming aware of one's own "I-listenings" at the beginning of a conversation, and this work is not so simple. The fact is that any technique is just techniques that exist, as it were, outside of us and can be effectively used, or may turn out to be ineffective. It is important WHO uses them and HOW he does it - consciously or not. Passive listening techniques will be effective only if you first work with yourself, with your “I-listenings”. What "I-listening" do you have now, at this moment? Are you able, without any filters, to hear the emotion that now dominates in another person, to hear objectively, without relating it to yourself, without being infected by it, without reacting to it personally? If yes, then your listening will be successful, if not, then you will just succumb to the emotional pressure that comes from your interlocutor and, in fact, become the object of his manipulation of you.

In addition to situations when you need to understand and objectively reflect the information that the interlocutor wants to convey to you, and those cases when your partner needs to speak out, vent emotions, calm down, there are also situations when none of the types of listening described above works, does not cause the interlocutor to feel gratitude, relief and trust in you. Since we are still considering mainly communication between a teacher and a teenager, and this communication is characterized by conversations about personally important things that are significant for a teenager, conversations that ideally should have the character of psychotherapeutic conversations, we will try to determine the specifics of these conversations. And here we introduce the concept of EMPATIC LISTENING.

empathichearing

Let's think about why you tell someone about your problems? Maybe in order to listen to advice on how you should behave in this situation? Or in order to be evaluated, told whether you are behaving correctly? Or maybe in order to hear how the interlocutor behaved in similar circumstances? Probably not yet. For any person, the main thing in such cases is the desire to be understood, to share with you those feelings, experiences that you experience. After all, they say that shared grief is halved, and shared joy is doubled. The main thing, apparently, is precisely this - in understanding the feelings of the interlocutor and empathizing with him. This is the secret of good listening, one that gives the other person relief and, unexpectedly, opens up new ways for him to understand himself.

Thus, the most important in our case is the emotional coloring of the conversation. A conversation about one's own problems, one's own personality is so important and significant for a teenager, and the subject of conversation is so vague that the main thing for you is not the "objective information" that he reports, but the feelings that he experiences about this. In this case, it is important not so much to understand the words that he says, but to understand his emotional state, what he is experiencing at the moment. That is why any teacher working with teenagers needs the skill of empathic listening, that is, listening, in which the listener (teacher) is able to experience the same feelings that a teenager experiences and, like a mirror, reflect them, so that the teenager himself begins to better understand himself and accept, along with his conflicting feelings.

Rules for Empathic Listening:

It is necessary to tune in to listening: forget about your problems for a while, free your soul from your own experiences and try to rebuild from ready-made attitudes and prejudices regarding this student. Only in this case you can feel what your interlocutor feels, "see" his emotion.

In your reaction to your partner’s words, you must accurately reflect the experience, feeling, emotion behind his statement, but do it in such a way as to demonstrate to the interlocutor that his feeling is not only correctly understood, but also accepted by you.

You need to pause. After your answer, the partner needs to be silent. Remember that this time belongs to him, do not fill it with your additional considerations, explanations, clarifications. A pause is necessary for a person in order to understand his experience.

It must be remembered that empathic listening is not an interpretation of the secret motives of his behavior hidden from the interlocutor. It is only necessary to reflect the feeling of the partner, but not to explain to him the reason for the emergence of this feeling in him. Type notes: “So you have it from the fact that you are just jealous» or "Actually, you would likeI was paying attention all the time" cannot cause anything but rejection and protection, especially if they are pronounced at the beginning of a conversation, when a trusting atmosphere has not yet arisen.

In cases where the partner is excited, when the conversation develops in such a way that he is overwhelmed with feelings, “without closing his mouth”, or he just tends to talk like that, and your conversation is already quite confidential, it is not at all necessary to answer with detailed phrases. It is enough just to support the partner with interjections, short phrases like “Yes, yes”, “Uh-huh”, nod your head or repeat it last words("echo reaction").

Topic: Rules for Listening Empathy Communication

Communication- a specific form of human interaction with other people as members of society; implemented in communication social relations of people.

In psychology, communication is understood as the establishment and maintenance of purposeful, direct or indirect contact between people. essential in given definition is the statement social nature communication, communication depends not only on its initiator, but on the influencing subjects as a whole.

1 . Communication tactics

Communication tactics - implementation in specific situation communication strategy based on the possession of specific communication skills: speak and listen.

Positions in communication are as follows:

Goodwill and Hostility

1. Friendly positions of acceptance of the interlocutor.

2. Neutral position.

3. Hostile position of non-acceptance of the interlocutor.

Domination - submission.

1. Dominating or "communication from above".

2. "Communication on an equal footing"

3. Submission or "communication from below."

2. Communication as people's perception of each other

The process of perception by one person of another acts as a mandatory component communication and constitutes what is called perception (perception). A person always enters into communication as a person and by another person - a communication partner, he is also perceived as a person.

One of the most simple ways trying to understand another person is likening oneself to him - identification. This is an attempt to put oneself in the place of another (“do not do to another what you would not like to be done to you”).

Installed close connection between identification and another phenomenon close in content - empathy.

Empathy- a way of perceiving a person, but this is not a rational understanding of the problems of another (mutual understanding), but the desire to emotionally respond to his problems, to sympathize with the other.

There are three levels of empathy development:

1. lowest level- a kind of blindness to the state, experiences of the other.

2. Average level - in the process of communication, a person has fragmentary ideas about the experiences of the interlocutor.

3. High level - the ability to immediately enter the state of the interlocutor, to feel his feelings throughout the entire communication.

Logical form of knowledge of oneself and other people- reflection. It's an attempt logical analysis own behavior and condition or behavior and characteristics of another person. The process of understanding each other can become more and more complicated due to reflection. Reflection here refers to awareness. acting individual how it is perceived by the communication partner. It's kind of a doubling process. specular reflections each other (the idea of ​​how the other person understands me).

There are some factors that make it difficult to perceive and evaluate people correctly. These include:

1. Effect preliminary dating. The presence of predetermined attitudes, assessments, beliefs that you have long before the process of perceiving and evaluating another person actually began. For example, you were told that this person is not honest and you are not yet communicating with him personally, you are already waiting that he can deceive you.

2. Stereotype effect. The presence of already formed stereotypes, in accordance with which the other person is in advance related to certain category, and in the process of communication you have an attitude to search for traits that confirm the correctness of your stereotypical attitude.

3. The effect of haste. The desire to make premature conclusions about the personality of the person being evaluated before reliable comprehensive information is obtained about him.

4. Structuring effect. Unaccountable structuring of the personality of another person. Only strictly defined personality traits, and any concept that does not fit into the existing image is discarded. For example, if a person is quick-tempered, sloppy, then he is bad. At the same time, the fact that he is kind and honest is not taken into account.

5. The “halo” effect is the initial attitude towards one private characteristic personality is transferred to the whole image of a person, and then this general incomplete impression of a person affects the assessment of his individual qualities. So, if at the beginning of an acquaintance a person made an impression of being very kind, then in the future all his actions that refute this impression will still be perceived as a manifestation of a kind of kindness.

6. The effect of projection - to another person, by analogy with oneself, one's own qualities and feelings are attributed.

7. The effect of primacy - the first heard or seen information about a person or event remains very significant or hardly forgotten and can influence all subsequent attitudes towards this person.

8. The effect of your own mood. Your perception of another person is influenced by your own mood. If it is gloomy - the first impression of the interlocutor may become negative, if the mood is good, then you will like the interlocutor.

9. The effect of deafness. Lack of desire and habit to listen to the opinions of other people, the desire to rely only on their own impression of a person.

10. The effect of conservatism. Lack of changes in people's perceptions and assessments that have changed over time. That is, when an opinion once formed does not change, despite the fact that it accumulates new information.

11. Effect latest information. Receiving the latest negative information about a person you have known for a long time can affect your attitude towards him. It can cross out all previous opinions about him.

Importance for a deeper understanding of how people perceive and evaluate each other, has the phenomenon of causal attribution. Causal attribution is the explanation by the subject of the causes and methods of the behavior of other people.

The processes of causal attribution are subject to the following patterns that affect people's understanding of each other:

1. The effect of accompanying events - those events that are often repeated and accompany the observed phenomenon, preceding it. Usually regarded as possible reasons.

2. The effect of unusualness - if the act that we want to explain is unusual, and it was preceded by some unique event, then we tend to consider this event as the main reason for the act.

3. The effect of equiprobable possibilities. An incorrect explanation of actions often occurs when there are many different, equally probable possibilities for interpreting the behavior, and the person offering his explanation is free to choose the option that suits him best.

4. The effect of underestimating the situation. The peculiarities of the situation that provoked this or that act are underestimated, and the influence of character traits is overestimated. We often tend to explain the behavior of other people, for example, by the complexity of their character, and our own behavior - as a result of the influence of the situation. Thus, other people are often expected to be responsible for their own actions, while the responsibility for their own actions is shifted to circumstances.

5. The effect of cultural influence. The Western worldview tends to see people, not situations, as the cause of events. Eastern philosophy often interprets behavior as the result of a situation, outside influence, predestination of events. Over.

Feedback in communication- this is a message addressed to another person, about how you perceive him, what you feel in connection with your attitude.

Feedback rules:

1. The rule of concreteness. It is necessary to tell a person with what kind of behavior and actions your attitude towards him is connected.

2. The rule of the possibility of change. If you talk to the interlocutor about what you do not like about him, you should try to mainly note those characteristics that your interlocutor could change if he wanted.

3. The rule of non-judgment. You should not give aloud assessments to the interlocutor as a person. Feedback is not information for the interlocutor about what he is like, in your opinion, this is in more information you need about yourself in relation to this person. This is information about how you perceive this person what you like or don't like about it. Your interlocutor, most often, is not inclined to listen to your opinion about the specifics of his character.

Conclusion

There are no two absolutely the same people. This is true for both physical and psychological characteristics. Some people are calm, others are quick-tempered, some are able to work long and hard to achieve a result, others put all their strength into one “jerk”. Psychological differences between people are objective - they are explained physiological features functioning nervous system. From these features to a large extent (although not completely - essential role plays the upbringing of the personality) depends on the character of the individual, his success or failure in a particular professional activity, style interpersonal communication, interaction with other people in professional and personal spheres.

Bibliography

1. Andreeva I. V. Ethics business relations. - St. Petersburg: Vector, 2006.

2. Asmolov A.G. Personality as a subject psychological research, M., 1984.

3. Kronik A.A. Interpersonal assessment in groups. Kyiv, 1982.

4. Maslyaev O. Psychology of personality. – Donetsk, 1997

5. General psychology/ ed. V. V. Bogoslovsky, A. G. Kovalev, A. A. Stepanov. - M., 1981.

The teacher in his work is constantly faced with a wide variety of problems of interpersonal communication. The lack of a culture of communication or its low level often leads to the emergence of conflict situations, tension in relations between the teacher and children, their parents, colleagues.

Psychologically competent perception by the teacher of partners in communication will help to establish mutual understanding and effective interaction. This opportunity is largely provided to the teacher by the formed perceptual minds, i.e. the ability to correctly assess their emotional state by facial expressions, gestures, language, actions of partners. There are two related types social perception: actually perceptual (perception and from the mind of a child or another person) and empathy ( special sensitivity to the child, empathy and sympathy for another).

The process of social perception presupposes, first of all, the presence of listening skills. Numerous studies show that most educators lack listening skills

. Listening is a process during which connections are established between people, there is a feeling of mutual understanding, which makes any communication effective.

For both types of communication - first-time communication and long-term communication - are important. SKILL is reflexive. I. Non-reflective listening

psycho-emotional mechanisms that ensure the implementation of reflexive and non-reflective listening, is reflection, empathy, identification

. Reflection- self-knowledge internal states at a rational level (analysis)

. Empathy- self-knowledge of internal states at the emotional level (sympathy, empathy)

. Identification- assimilation, attempts to become like a partner of interaction

To master the art of listening, the future teacher should form the appropriate listening skills and techniques, namely:

-maintaining attention focus and stability of attention, visual contact;

-use of elements non-verbal communication - gaze, posture, gestures, language of interpersonal space, change in voice pitch and intonation;

-remarks and questions;

-availability of developed personal formations - understanding, sympathy, approval

Reflective listening is a type of listening when the reflection of information comes to the fore. It includes constant clarification of the information that the interlocutor wants to convey, by posing and clarifying questions.

Listening can take place in both reflexive and non-reflexive forms. Reflective listening is often called active listening, as it uses verbal form more actively.

. Productive ways reflective listening

. Reflection of feelings (empathy)

. The essence of the reception: emphasizing the speaker's perceptions, attitudes and emotional state

. the main objective - reflecting the feelings of the interlocutor, to demonstrate understanding to him, to provide psychological support his personality, strengthen contact

. Possible word forms: . I think that. You feel. I understand. Your condition

Reflective listening is indispensable in conflict situations when the interlocutor behaves aggressively or demonstrates his superiority. This is a very effective means of calming down if there is a desire to develop a conflict that has begun.

A common mistake people make when using reflective listening is to formally follow the rules. In such cases, a person puts the “necessary” question: “Am I right. You understood that,” but, having not heard the answers, continues to develop arguments in favor of his own point of view, actually ignoring the point of view of the interlocutor. Then such a person is surprised that the active listening technique of non-working listening does not work.

Reflective listening can be used in all cases when the child is upset, offended, defeated, when she is hurt, ashamed, terribly. In such cases, it is important to let her know that. You felt her experiences "Voicing" the child's feelings helps to relieve conflict or tension or tension.

It happens that you have to listen to a person who is in a state of strong emotional arousal. In this case, the techniques of reflective listening do not work. In this state, a person does not control his emotions, is not able to catch the meaning of the conversation. She needs only one thing - to calm down, come to a state of self-control, and only then can you communicate with her. In such cases, the technique of non-reflexive hearing works effectively. Annannya.

. Paraphrasing (echo technique)

. The essence of the reception: return to the interlocutor his statements (one or several phrases), formulating them in your own words. You can start like this: "As I understand you", "In your opinion", "In other words,. You think"

. The main goal of "echo technology" is clarification of information. Essential ones are chosen for paraphrasing - moments are more important message. But when "returning" the remark, it is not necessary to add anything "from oneself", to interpret what was said. Luna-technician ka will allow you to give the interlocutor an idea of ​​\u200b\u200bhow. You understood him, and prompt a conversation about what seems to you the most important in his words and the most important to you.

. Possible verbal forms:. As I understand you, in your opinion. You think

. clarification (clarification)

. The essence of the reception: an attempt to draw a logical conclusion from the partner’s statements, assumptions about the reasons for what was heard

. the main objective- clarify the meaning of what was said, quickly move forward in the conversation, the ability to get information without direct questions. But one should avoid haste in conclusions and use non-categorical formulations and soft tones.

. Possible verbal forms:. Please agree on whether to repeat this again. Don't explain your opinion

. Verbalization

. The essence of the reception: on the basis of what was heard from the communication partner, forecasting the possible factors that determined the situation that he spoke about

. The main goal of verbalization: forecasting and analysis of possible factors that determined the situation, which was told by the communication partner

. Possible verbal forms:. It seems to me that u. You have such a situation because. U. Your problem is that

. Summary

. The essence of the reception: reproducing the words of the partner in an abbreviated form, a brief formulation of the main thing, summarizing "If now to summarize what has been said. By you, then"

. The main purpose of summarizing is selection main idea. The reception helps in the discussion, consideration of claims, when it is necessary to solve any problems. It is especially effective if the discussion has dragged on, gone in circles, or reached a dead end. Summing up allows you to avoid wasting time on irrelevant conversations and can be a powerful and harmless way to end a conversation with a very talkative interlocutor.

. Possible verbal forms:. If we now summarize what has been said. By you, then. Your main idea was Like me. Understood you

. Situations in which it is appropriate to listen reflectively

Important situations of personal life;

Important professionally oriented situations;

Situations in which you need to evaluate another person (his knowledge, skills, behavior, etc.)

. Non-reflexive listening - the ability to make it clear to the interlocutor that he is not alone, that they listen to him, understand and are ready to support non-reflexive listening consists in the ability to be attentively silent, not to interfere with the speech of the interlocutor with your remarks, however, this silence is active, as it requires great concentration on the subject of the conspiracy, manifestation of understanding, approval and support for the speaker. Best of all, the so-called “yep-reactions” work best: “yes-yes”, “yes-yes”, “well, of course”, head nodding. Also, niche answers can be such similar answers as:

go on

It is interesting

Nice to hear

More

Need to think about this

Incorrect construction of a replica during non-reflexive listening can lead to disruption of contact with the interlocutor. It is not recommended to use such phrases: “Come on”, “It can’t be that way. Ogan”, “Yes, you can’t do it”, etc. The emotional state is like a pendulum: having reached the highest limit emotional stress, the person begins to calm down, then the strength of his feelings increases again, bending to the highest limit, then subsides. If you do not interfere in this process, do not "swing" the pendulum additionally, by speaking, the person will calm down, and after that it will be possible to communicate with her calmly, you will be able to talk calmly with her.

The main thing in non-reflective listening:

o not be silent, because deaf silence causes irritation in any person, and even more so in an excited person;

o do not ask clarifying questions, because this will only cause a reciprocal outburst of indignation;

o do not tell the partner: "Calm down, don't worry, everything will get better" - he cannot adequately understand these words, they outrage him, it seems to him that his problem is underestimated, that he is not understood

Sometimes in such cases it is useful to "adapt" to a partner, repeat his words, emotions, movements, that is, behave the way he does, share his feelings. But this must be done sincerely, otherwise the repetition of actions will be assessed as a mockery of his feelings.

Non-reflexive listening, accompanied by non-verbal communication techniques, expresses understanding and sympathy much better than verbal. Non-reflective listening can be used in relation to soromyaza rain and insecure students, in situations where the student wants to express his opinion, emotional attitude or if he is having difficulty expressing his painful problems. In the examples given, the use of non-reflective listening allows you to limit interference in the conversation as much as possible, which makes it easier for the speaker to express himself.

. Situations in which it is appropriate to listen to non-reflexive

In non-essential personal situations;

In unimportant and uncomplicated professionally oriented situations;

When the interlocutor is in a negative emotional dominant so as not to exacerbate his emotional state

empathic listening allows you to experience the feelings that the interlocutor is experiencing, reflect them, understand the emotional state of the interlocutor and share it

During empathic listening, they do not give advice, do not seek to evaluate the interlocutor, do not criticize, do not teach. This is the secret of good listening - one that gives the other person relief and openness. Riva him new ways to understand himself.

. Empathic Listening Rules

1. It is necessary to tune in to listening: forget about your problems for a while, free your soul from your own experiences and try to move away from ready-made attitudes and prejudices regarding the interlocutor. Only in this case it is possible to understand what the interlocutor feels, to “see” his emotions and emotions.

2. In your reaction to the partner’s words, it is necessary to reflect exactly the experiences, feelings, emotions behind his statements, but do it in such a way as to demonstrate to the interlocutor that his feelings were not only correctly understood, but also accepted.

3. You need to pause. After. Of your answer, the interlocutor should usually be silent, think in order to understand his experience

4. It must be remembered that empathic listening is not an interpretation of the secret motives of his behavior hidden from the interlocutor. It is only necessary to reflect the feeling of the partner, but not to explain to him the reason for the occurrence of this feeling. Remarks like: "So it's so with you that you're just jealous of your friend" or "In fact, you would like to be paid attention to you all the time" cannot evoke anything in response, except for aggression and defense of aggression and outrage.

empathic listening provides a better understanding of the child by the teacher, helps to neutralize the teacher's tendency to evaluate. The desire of many teachers to listen to the student is not so much for the purpose of listening to it. The first thing she tells him, how much in order to appreciate him, often causes communication barriers. These include barriers to dialogic communication (prejudice, distrust, lack of a sense of humor, the ability to social contact). One of the varieties of dialogue between a teacher and a student is a discussion. Only high culture dialogue insures against the danger of turning it into a dispute, that is, into a "state of mutual hostility."

. Conflict Interaction Hearings

Listening shows our openness to what the other is saying. Does listening show this receptivity in dialogue?

Maintain constant eye contact;

Do not interrupt;

Don't give advice;

Summarize what. you heard;

Make reflective remarks showing that. You understand what the other feels

Only irreconcilable enemies do not listen. If a. You will use these rules of listening, the interlocutor will feel that. You are not his implacable enemy and are ready to understand his needs and concerns. If he feels that his needs are being respected, he will be less aggressive in trying to bring him to. Your own consciousness. Gaki.

If a person feels irritated or fearful, she should get rid of these emotions, as they can be an obstacle in the relationship. Only after the person has been listened to and reassured can the usual conflict-free communication be restored. If a person is not allowed to speak out, then hostility and suspicion may arise on her part, and communication will be reduced to chaos and unrest.

An important element of listening technique is the ability to ask questions. They allow you to support the interlocutor, to help in the presentation of considerations. With the help of skillful and timely questions, the teacher can manage the dialogue with the student.

Correctly chosen tactics of the formulation of questions by the teacher contributes to the creation of a favorable psychological atmosphere interaction with the student, disclosure of his creative possibilities with sufficient completeness, identifying the need for mastering educational information.

5 Communicative culture of personality Training of communicative culture of a social teacher

. Communication culture training

. Communicative culture is a system of qualities, properties, traits and skills of a person that ensures high performance in communication. It consists of two groups of characteristics:

1. General human qualities and characteristics (to feel the need for communication and pleasure from communication; to feel the need to be among people for a long time, benevolence, sincerity, humanity; altruism; altruists and tendencies - the desire to bring joy and positive charge other people).

2. Personal and professional qualities and characteristics (reflection, empathy, the ability to listen reflexively and non-reflexively; self-regulation of psychophysical well-being; culture and technique of speech, the ability to convince you and inspire.

Communication training involves the following steps:

1) diagnostics (autodiagnosis) of sociability;

2) socio-psychological and professional communication training, the purpose of which is the development of two selected groups of characteristics in special training groups (TG) or intensive communication groups ((GIS.

. The task of socio-psychological and professional training

a) removal of clamps, tension, isolation in situations of communication;

b) organization of special situations requiring appropriate actions for self-expression;

c) development of skills and abilities of reflective and non-reflective listening;

d) auto-training and self-regulation of psychophysical well-being in situations of difficult communication;

d) development of individual sensitivity (perception, empathy, reflection, non-verbal means of expressing feelings);

e) training effective ways and communication techniques

. Methods of socio-psychological and professional training of communication skills

1)imagotherapy- individual training of self-confidence, overcoming complexes, carried out by self-hypnosis and group, role training. Exercises: verbal formulas for self-hypnosis and. JSC ("Consignment store", "Self-presentation", "Associative perception of the other") is more effective than accepting another");

2)functional behavior training- behavior training Everyday life. Exercises: "Compliments", "Nakhabnik", "Press Conference";

3)method useful game - a technique based on transactional analysis. E. Berna. Game - a system of transactions aimed at achieving a win and have hidden motivation. Similar to the game level of communication. Effective for training relationships in the family, with children. Exercise-situations: the child pretends to be sick, does not want to go to school, refuses to eat, does not want to go to bed in certain time hour;

4)psychodrama method- behavior training extreme situation. Situation exercises: attacker, thief, fire, terrorists, natural disaster