Openness is one of the most attractive features human nature. Closed, secretive people cause alertness, it is difficult to contact them. But isolation often burdens the loner himself, and he tries to understand how to become an open person, how to communicate freely and easily in any company. It is worth first understanding what openness is.

What is openness

Openness in psychology is understood as spiritual generosity, the ability to share one's thoughts and feelings with others, the ability to accept any person in one's circle of communication. However, these attractive qualities are only the tip of the iceberg. And if you want to understand how to become a more open person, then you need to understand the deep psychological characteristics of these people. Here are the most important ones.

Knowing how to become an open person, you will be able to receive more joy from life.

• Extraversion is a person's orientation towards the world, acceptance of the world, and not just sociability, but sincere pleasure from contacts with others.
• High emotional tone and optimism. Positive emotions experienced by extroverts not only attract people to them, but also infect them with energy and good mood.
• Self-confidence. This quality allows a person not to be afraid to freely express his opinion, share thoughts and feelings.
• Sociability. Communication is a native element for open personality. Such a person is fluent in basic communication means, their choice is almost intuitive. These people are called the soul of the company, they are charming and at the same time convincing, they are able not only to entertain, but also to captivate with their ideas.
• Sincerity. Often this concept is equated with honesty, but it is deeper and is closely related to positive emotions. The word "sincerity" comes from "spark" - it is a bright fire burning in the soul and reflected in the eyes. He is attracted to open person makes him believe.

Most of these qualities are based on individual psychological features. There are people who were already born with the makings of an open personality. But is it possible to develop these qualities? Can it change introverted person, squeezed in the grip of conventions and own complexes? Yes maybe. But for this, he must want to change and make efforts for this.

The main difficulty is not even the need to change yourself. The fact is that "openness", "sociability" - these are the qualities that other people see in us. And it is very difficult to change the already established opinion of others, their stereotype of perception. But if you decide to create a new image for yourself, then do not back down and follow the advice of psychologists.

How to be open and sociable person? We need to communicate as much as possible.

• Learn to treat criticism in your address calmly and with humor, laugh at yourself without waiting for others to do it. In any community there are envious people and ill-wishers, the most effective weapon against them is a sincere smile.
• To become an open and sociable person, you need to communicate. Expand your circle of contacts. But not in social networks, where the formation of the image is just a game, but in reality.
• Show interest in others and do it actively, but unobtrusively. Try to listen carefully, show interest, do not shy away from the opportunity to help, support. Train yourself to be useful people, not for some benefit, but just like that.
• Learn to talk about yourself. Remember in conversation interesting case, a story, an example from your life, share your successes, complain about oversights. Just don't complain - people often don't like to hear about other people's problems.
• Try to use maximum amount means of communication: facial expressions, especially smile, gestures, intonation, speech means.

Openness is a great quality, but it is appropriate only in combination with positive emotions and optimism. It should be remembered that open demonstration of your anger, irritability, complaints about problems and failures are unlikely to attract people to you.

Unfortunately, communication on social networks has reduced real contacts. Imperceptibly, we are losing communication skills, the circle of acquaintances and friends is shrinking. People who are uncommunicative by nature become isolated in their cocoons and almost lose touch with society. Can this be fixed?

Today, each of us can observe the ever-increasing pace of life, which in one way or another is reflected in all areas of society. Increasing popularity social networks, reduction of free time and many other factors inevitably lead to the fact that modern man simply loses the skills of human communication.

Some do not see any need in this form of life at all, and gradually get used to living in their cocoon, periodically communicating only with relatives, as well as with colleagues - as needed.

Others simply do not find time for friendly meetings in an informal setting. In addition, there is a large percentage of those people who are unsociable due to natural features character - shyness, excessive modesty, self-doubt.

All this can be overcome if you use some techniques that will teach a person to be sociable, as well as easily make friends, communicate with them at ease and have a great time. These methods have been developed modern psychologists, and can be used by men and women of different social groups.

The first tip in this regard is very simple. You just need to overcome internal barrier, which is often referred to as a communication ban. The idea that other people can be unfriendly is wrong.

Usually, people around are quite friendly, and easily respond to communication. And only the inner closeness of a person, his fear of communication prevents him from establishing contact with others. This means that the first step towards being social and friendly is to become more social and friendly in everyday interactions.

Come to work in a good mood, talk with colleagues not only on work issues, but also on abstract topics. Unobtrusive attention is always pleasant for people, and you will have every chance to pass for a nice and sincere employee.

Find a passion or hobby in your life. This will help to become a more sociable person, to find new friends. Common interests are lovely theme for communication, which may well develop into a friendship. People with similar hobbies can be found at exhibitions, conferences and even on Internet forums.

Do not focus only on such communication, because it is impossible to become sociable, constantly being in the circle of the same people. Constantly expand your social circle, make new friends and acquaintances. For example, talk about the weather with your roommate. stairwell, or about life in the village with that woman from whom you always buy milk or cottage cheese. It's actually very simple - add a few non-binding sentences, and you'll probably be satisfied with the resulting dialogue.

Try to be optimistic about life. No one wants to communicate with a person who constantly complains about life, negatively evaluates others and is generally pessimistic about the world around him. Fight shyness, and at the same time gradually change your inner self-perception, perception of the world. It is always pleasant and comfortable to communicate with a positive-minded person, because people will soon reach out to you.

Very often, a person’s lack of sociability becomes the result of some detachment from people, isolation. Sometimes it may even seem to an uncommunicative person that others avoid communicating with him. Get over this opinion once, just take a step towards other people, and find the courage to start a conversation first, and then the circle of contacts will expand significantly.

If all these tips are unproductive, and communication with people will still bring a lot of difficulties and negative emotions, you can seek help from psychologists and other specialists in the field human relations. At present, many of the most different trainings, which help to become sociable and make friends easily.

They are conducted by qualified psychologists who can help to cope with shyness, excessive modesty, and overcome all difficulties on the way to easy and productive communication. Trainings can be single or carried out in cycles. Depending on the training program and level psychological problems, noticeable results can be achieved through different amount time - from a week to several months.

The authors effective trainings communication have developed several important and significant rules for communication within the team, with friends, unfamiliar or strangers. They recommend that a person always be himself, not add to himself personal qualities and don't hide them. You should never be afraid to express your opinion, even if it differs from the opinion of the majority.

This will show your perseverance, self-confidence and good intelligence. Try to ignore as much as possible all the insults that sound in your address, especially if they are said in a fit of anger. This will emphasize your self-confidence and condescension towards people who allow the expression of insults. Try to always smile, because a smile proves your openness and encourages people to communicate.

In any communication, use a sense of humor, joke and positively evaluate the jokes of others. Humor helps to create a relaxed atmosphere, creates good mood in a collective. However, one should never allow rude and stupid jokes which may offend others. In any conversation, listen more than you talk.

Learn not just to listen, but to hear the interlocutor. When discussing something, do not pass off other people's phrases as your own, always speak only in your own words. This instills respect for the interlocutor. Start any conversation with a hello, and even if you don't plan on having a conversation with someone you know, say hello every day and say goodbye before parting.

In communication, never show arrogance, does not require perfection from people, because you are not perfect either. Be patient with others and the mistakes they may make. By following these simple rules, you can become sociable and make many friends.

Often attractive and endowed with natural charm, girls undeservedly remain forgotten in cheerful companies, sitting on the sidelines or in the shadow of more provocative girlfriends. They are modestly silent when they are asked questions, and are not able to tell a single funny story. « How to become a sociable person? How to stop being closed and become the soul of any company?”- girls often turn to us who have difficulty communicating, not only with strangers, but even with those they know well.

Let's say right away: it's not so easy, but nothing is impossible for a person with intellect! Having set himself the task of increasing sociability, that is, the ability to communicate with other people and quickly find mutual language, it is quite possible to achieve real result, you just need to want!

How to become sociable if you are afraid of people?

Some prefer, surrounded by the closest people, to sit inside their “mink” and not even try to stick their nose out. “Why do I need this?” they ask. For these people, the problem of sociability is not worth it, they simply do not need it.

For everyone else, the presence of friends, acquaintances, work colleagues is simply vital, and not just a presence, but daily communication, information exchange, life experience. Man is a creature that lives and interacts with others like himself, such is life.

One girl said: “I am afraid of people! In a store it is very difficult for me to even ask the price of a product, in a university auditorium I can’t even utter a word in front of my classmates under a lot of looks, and even to be the first to speak with a stranger, there can be no question!

When I began to find out the reason for such “human fear”, I found out that in lower grades at the children's matinee, she forgot her rhyme, stumbled and was ridiculed, not only by the kids from her group, but also by their parents. It was this episode that became the “anchor” that for a long time crossed out for the girl the opportunity to feel free among other people, constantly dragging her into the past. Gradually, we were able to rid her of her previous fears and fears of becoming funny, so everything is solved!

If so far you cannot independently determine what is the reason for your indecision in communication, you should definitely contact professional psychologist. Believe me, often a few sessions are enough to completely change a person's life.

Why develop communication skills and become sociable?

Unfortunately, some individuals tend to go astray when they say, "I can live without associating with someone else!"

• If you work, your career is unthinkable without constantly being in contact with partners, colleagues, clients and many other people. Ability to accurately articulate right thoughts, to express them without fear, to find the required words in situations that require an unforeseen or unusual solution - an indispensable condition for success in moving up the ladder of your career.
• Earn the respect of the people around you different situations, is impossible without the fact that you will have to defend your views and your point of view from time to time. For example, in conflict or controversial situations one cannot do without expressing one's views and arguments, because this is how quarrels and conflicts can be avoided. Be able to wrap your arguments in Right words, to prove one's case without affecting the interests of other people is very important in our troubled life.
• To be attractive to the opposite sex interesting interlocutor for men - this is another reason why many girls seek to increase their level of sociability. And this is right, because in communication you can get to know a person better, his personality traits and understand, finally, whether this is your soul mate or just a fellow traveler!

It happens that a person is already born with the talent of communication, even as a child he easily and willingly comes into contact with peers and even adults. But many learn this art all their lives. I hope that with our help you will succeed!

And lastly, remember that sociability can only be sincere and honest, if a person is hypocritical, likes to lie and strives to be in the center of attention by any means, believe me, hardly anyone will want to meet with such an interlocutor again. Be open, honest, remember not to the same people, each has its "cons" and its "pluses". Learn to be patient with the shortcomings of other people, and then they will more often notice your virtues. Good luck!

The question of how to become more sociable comes to the mind of many people. Some find it difficult to make contact with new acquaintances, some do not know how to maintain established relationships, and there are also people who do not know how to find a single suitable word at all, and stubbornly remain silent. This article attempts to give some useful tips those who are tired of fighting with their complexes, and find it difficult to find the right path.

“There are three mistakes in human communication: the first is the desire to speak before it is necessary; the second is shyness, not to speak when necessary; the third is to speak without watching your listener."

Confucius

Sociability in psychology is defined as the ability of a person to provide communication, and its process - as the establishment of relationships with other people. This is a multifunctional property of a person, which is the subject of research by psychologists. By studying the phenomenon and providing advice on how to become sociable and interesting person, psychology establishes mechanisms that allow each person to realize their own individuality.

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According to psychologists, it is through sociability that an individual gets the opportunity to realize himself in society and resolve his own needs. It is quite understandable that those representatives of society who do not know how to become more sociable experience serious difficulties in daily practice and in the way to achieve their goals.

To communicate is to find common ground. These words have the same root, so they are directly related in their meaning. After all, first of all, in order to establish contact, it is necessary to find common ground, interests that the interlocutor shares with a new acquaintance.

To understand how to become more sociable, you should learn to find the key to others in order to interest them in maintaining a conversation. Seeing the common is not an easy task; such a quality is comparable to real talent. After all, interests can be overt and covert. Explicit interests include everything that may interest people on the basis of belonging to certain group. Students discuss the learning process, football fans discuss the results of matches, housewives exchange recipes, and young mothers share their experience of caring for babies.

The situation is more complicated with hidden interests. After all, it is not always possible to find an approach to a fellow traveler on a train. It is not easy to establish contact with new employees, about whose hobbies and aspirations nothing is known. However, it is worth firmly believing that even people who are completely different at first glance will in any case find common ground. To find them, you should try to ask a few leading questions.

There is ancient wisdom, which says that every person is a vessel with water. You just have to push it in the right direction and liquid will squirt out of it. Therefore, in the event that certain issues cause the interlocutor to be enthusiastic and desire to discuss them in more detail, half the battle is already over.

To understand how to become sociable, you need to:

• be an interesting conversationalist;
• try to keep yourself confident, but in moderation;
• constantly broaden your horizons periodicals and books;
• raise your cultural level, giving up bad habits.

How to become talkative and sociable

Some people in search of solutions to become more sociable do not take into account their own characteristics. If a person is an introvert by nature, communication will always be difficult for him. Such people have to adapt all their lives to those around them, entering into compromise and conflict with themselves at the same time.

Rebuilding for them is a real test. To many people around them, introverts seem strange and vicious, although this is absolutely not the case. They know how to make friends, they are quite responsive and empathic, but they hide such qualities behind their isolation.

If your new acquaintance is an extrovert, most likely it will be he who will maintain communication. You just need to take the first step, and the conversation, as well as subsequent relationships, will certainly improve.

It is worth remembering that no one is obliged to communicate with you.

Forced contacts usually occur at those moments when they are necessary for the performance of immediate duties. For example, employees of one enterprise, no matter how good or bad they treat each other, are obliged to communicate with each other in order to complete the work process. Outside the institution, they may not contact at all if they have not found any common interests.

For communication to be long, sincere and desirable, you need to become a useful and necessary interlocutor. Otherwise, all attempts to establish any relationship will be asymmetric. For example, you just started to get interested in playing chess, and you met a grandmaster. You are ready to communicate with him day and night, asking hundreds of questions. But whether it would make sense to keep the conversation going for your new acquaintance is quite difficult to answer unambiguously.

Most likely on initial stage he will show interest in you, and will try to satisfy your curiosity. But then the need for such communication will be exhausted, it is possible that they will even begin to avoid you. The question of building relationships will move into another category: how to be sociable and interesting. Such a setting will stimulate a person to improve their skills. After all, working on his level, he will eventually become an equal interlocutor for the same grandmaster, and communication will move to a higher level.

“Without friendship, no communication between people has value.”

Socrates

How to become a cheerful and sociable person

Many people are looking but not finding a solution to how to become more sociable and make friends easily. They can be understood, because it is quite difficult to stay all the time only in your closed world. But they don't realize the fact that having fun with others isn't always the direct path to making a true friend. Showing wit, you can entertain others good jokes to tell fascinating stories and anecdotes. But after such communication, you can be alone again with yourself. It turns out that spending time in the company is the same as going to a concert or a movie. The session will end, and you will have to return home, to your usual life.

For those who want to learn how to become more talkative and sociable, it makes sense to read more. In literature man will find many answers to your questions, expand your horizons, and be able to support almost any conversation.

Communicative values ​​are manifested in the ability to bring people pleasure from communication, to pick up and competently supplement any conversation, confidently arguing in disputes and discussions.

To become more talkative, you need to discard the fears of starting communication first. Any question will be the beginning of an acquaintance if you ask it correctly, politely and in a restrained but friendly manner. “Excuse me”, “please”, “could you be so kind” will appeal to every person. magic words will be disposed to further communication, especially if they are pronounced with a sincere smile.

Many people love to communicate. Rarely are silent people, or closed personalities, for whom it is better to remain in the shadows. However, in order to become an open and sociable person, it is worth learning how not to annoy people with unpleasant manners, stable ambiguous phrases, and often used interjections. Such repulsive factors include gestures, indecent movements, and overly expressive facial expressions.

Communicative people know how to take the initiative. If you are interested in how to become more sociable, learn to support your interlocutor, find common ground. Develop the conversation yourself, be more active, because otherwise you will not achieve any results.

How to behave in the company of the interlocutor

To understand how to become more sociable, it is recommended to take an example from a certain movie character that causes you admiration and sympathy. If you like his manner of communication, style of behavior, role in your favorite movie, try to imitate him. It is possible that such an approach will good start your way to your goal. You should be confident in yourself, but at the same time feel the measure. It's a good balance between modesty and display high self-esteem. There are no recipes for combining such qualities, and there cannot be. This is an art where everyone finds their position on their own, acquiring invaluable communication experience.

It is impossible to learn how to become more sociable if you act too insecure, indecisive and lethargic. With such people come into contact, as a rule, rather reluctantly. After all, a person who knows how to focus the attention of others on his positive qualities enjoys success, causing increased interest in his person.

When developing a relationship with a person, one should not rush things.

There is no need to arrange a real interrogation at the very first moment of acquaintance. If you do not know how to become more sociable, but begin to develop a conversation by asking the interlocutor many questions about his personal life and biography, then you will not achieve any favor with him. By showing excessive interest, you are more likely to scare this person away, and he will lose the slightest desire to maintain any relationship with you.

Asking how to become more sociable, people often forget about important side relationship: the ability to listen patiently and carefully. If your interlocutor realizes that his problems do not interest you at all, he may be offended and will simply start avoiding you. Sometimes it’s even worth making an effort on yourself and listening to him to the end, no matter how much you want to interrupt the story. Make a sincere appearance that you are not at all indifferent to his fate, and he will certainly appreciate your participation. Ask a few leading questions to emphasize your interest in the interlocutor, and the path to mutual understanding will certainly be found.

If you are accidentally offended by inattention, or an inappropriate remark, try not to focus on such a moment of attention. It will be much worse if you show irritation, or, even worse, demand an apology. They won't make it easier for you, but sincere relationships will be lost.

Any person is a real miracle. It is certainly possible and necessary to find positive traits who deserve attention and respect. It just takes some effort to do so. Understanding the behavior of a person, you will certainly discover his merits, and communication will become easy for you.

Why are women expected to be more emotional than men?

Many women want to learn how to become more open and sociable. It is worth noting that they will succeed much easier than men. After all, a woman can freely show even excessive emotionality. With similar behavior in the same situation, the representatives of the stronger sex would seem ridiculous, or even disgusted with themselves.

This is enthusiasm or fear, expressed in talkativeness and facial expressions, gesticulation, loud laughter or crying uncontrollably. Moreover, restrained and rational women are perceived, as a rule, by evil and insensitive, indifferent and callous people.

To become more talkative, it is enough for a woman to take the initiative. After all, it is usually easier for women to get girlfriends and find companions than for men. They have a lot more common interests. These are clothes and fashion, cooking and jewelry, household and product selection. For men, things are a little different. They are much more restrained, and it is much more difficult for them to find a common language.

Answering the question of how to learn to be sociable and talkative, you can give a woman some advice:

• smile more often and be friendly to others;
• try to be sincere and responsive in conversations with people;
• listen to the interlocutors carefully, and never interrupt;
• always have an attractive and prepossessing appearance.

Results

Each of us can learn how to become a sociable person, with a sincere desire. You just need to work on yourself, getting rid of unnecessary complexes. But the main thing is to become attentive and sympathetic, and treat the interests and needs of others in exactly the same way as your own.

MENSBY

4.9

Sociable people arouse interest and sympathy, unlike closed ones. Outgoing people are more successful, have more friends, have no problems with girls, and are happier. How to stop being closed and become more sociable?

Some of us are shy by nature, while others are very friendly. Most people fall somewhere between "introverts" and "extroverts". Whatever your personality tends to be, it can easily allow social anxiety and lack of self-confidence to develop, separating you from the people around you. Luckily, you can change your mindset and break out of that shell!

1. Think positively

1.1 Understand the difference between being withdrawn and being shy. There's a difference between being an introvert and someone who's so shy that they can't even talk to anyone at a party. Introversion is a personality trait, it's what makes you happy and comfortable. Shyness is different, it comes from feeling fearful or anxious about interacting with other people. If you can determine whether you are an introvert or just shy person then it might help you break your shell.

As a rule, introverts do well when they are alone. They are "charged" by being alone. They enjoy interacting with people, but tend to prefer small groups and quiet gatherings rather than loud, big parties. If you feel happy and content when you are alone, then you may be a typical introvert.

Shyness can make you feel anxious about interacting with other people. Unlike introverts who enjoy being alone, shy people often want to connect more with others but are afraid to do so.

Studies have shown that shyness and introversion have very little in common - in other words, if you are shy, then this does not mean that you are an introvert, and vice versa, if you are an introvert, then this does not mean at all that you "hate people ".

1.2 Turn self-doubt into introspection. When you have the feeling that those around you are scrutinizing you, it is difficult to get out of your shell. But research shows that most time, we ourselves play the role of our own judges, and those around us do not even notice those oversights that seem catastrophic to us. Learn to examine your actions from the point of view of understanding and acceptance, and not from the point of view of criticism.

Self-doubt comes from feelings of shame and embarrassment. We worry that others judge us as harshly as we judge ourselves for our mistakes and failures.

For example, an insecure person might think, “I can't believe I said that. I looked like a complete idiot." This judgmental thought will do you no good in the future.

A person analyzing his actions may think: “Oh, I completely forgot the name of that person! We gotta work out a way for ourselves better memory names." This thought indicates that you have made some kind of mistake, but do not make it the end of the world. It also shows that you can learn and do things differently in the future.

1.3 Remember that no one looks at you as intently as you yourself. Those people who experience difficulties and cannot get out of their shell often suffer from the thought that others are watching their every move and waiting only for failure. If you are in a society, do you spend all your time tracking every movement of everyone who is in the room with you? Of course not - you are too busy with the things that are important to you. And guess what? Most are doing the same.

"Personalization" is common cognitive disorder in which a useless way of thinking becomes a habit. Personalization blames you for everything, even things that don't apply to you. This way of thinking can apply to you personally absolutely everything, even if you do not touch it in any way.

Learn to fight personalization by reminding yourself that it's not really about you. A colleague who doesn't wave back to you in a friendly way is not angry with you; she just didn't notice you, or she might have had a hard day, or she might have been busy with other things that you don't even know about. A reminder that everyone has their own inner world thoughts, feelings, needs and desires will help you remember that most people are too busy to spend their time carefully watching you.

1.4 Fight thoughts of self-criticism. Perhaps you are afraid to come out of your shell because of the constant reminder to yourself that everything you do will only spoil the social situation. You can walk away thinking: “I was too quiet”, “The only comment I made was completely idiotic”, or “I think I offended so-and-so ...”. After all, we all make mistakes while in society, but we also act successfully. Instead of going crazy over all the worst things you might or might not have done, focus on the positive. Remind yourself that you were able to make others laugh, how genuinely glad they were to see you, or that you were able to celebrate some important moment.

"Filtering" is another common cognitive disorder. In doing so, you only focus on what went wrong and ignore what went well. This is a natural human trait.

Fight this filtering by focusing your attention on your achievements and being actively aware of what you are doing right. You can get a little notepad to carry around and write down all the good things that happen, no matter how small it may seem to you. You can even get account on Twitter or Instagram to capture those little moments.

When you find yourself mentally focusing on the negative, pull out your list of all the positive things and remind yourself how well you did it all. And what you are not particularly good at yet, you can learn!

Make a list of all the qualities that you are proud of in some way.

Nothing is too "minor" for this list! We often get into the habit of downplaying our own talents and accomplishments (another kind of cognitive impairment), assuming that everything we know isn't that great compared to someone else. But not everyone knows how to play the ukulele, or make the perfect omelet, or get the best deals. You should be proud of everything you can do.

1.6 Imagine your success. Before you get into someone's company, imagine walking into a room proudly and holding your head high, everyone around you is genuinely glad to see you, which makes their response to interaction with you positive. You don't have to imagine yourself in the spotlight (in fact, it might be the last thing you dream about!), but you do have to imagine what you want. This will help you achieve what you want.

There are two types of visualization, and you need to use both of them to achieve best result. With “outcome visualization,” you envision achieving your goal. Close your eyes and imagine how good and pleasant your next social outing will be. Imagine your body movements, words, gestures, as well as the positive reaction of people. Imagine how they smile at you, laugh at your jokes and are sincerely glad to talk with you.

With process visualization, you need to visualize the steps you need to take to reach your goal. For example, hypothetically for the future, what needs to be done to make communication easy and effortless? Prepare a few "secular" topics? Cheer yourself up ahead of time with a few positive reassurances? What actions will increase the likelihood of your success?

Visualization is essentially a psychological rehearsal. It allows you to "practice" a situation before you get into it. You can also identify potential obstacles and come up with ways to overcome them.

Visualization can help you reach your goals because it can actually trick your brain into thinking you've already done well.

2. Develop self-confidence

2.1 Achieve mastery. Another way to develop self-confidence and connect with people more easily is to learn something new. It can be anything from figure skating to literary description Italian cuisine. You don't have to be the best in the world at some activity; the most important thing is that you work on it and realize your successes. Mastering something will not only increase your self-confidence, it will also expand the list of topics that you can communicate with others, and it can also help you make new friends in this area.

If you're already good at something, great. Add this to the list of things that make you unique. Don't be afraid to try new things.

Also, learning new skills will help you keep your brain in good shape. When it's constantly loaded new information and tasks, it becomes more flexible and adaptable, which is great for helping you get out of your shell.

Go to class! Whether it's yoga for beginners or Italian cuisine, classes can become great way communicating with other people who are also learning something new. You will be able to see that everyone makes mistakes along the way, and you will even be able to establish relationships with people who are interested in the same things as you.

2.2 Get out of your comfort zone. Staying in your shell can be convenient. You know what you're good at and you never have to do things that scare or make you feel uncomfortable. The bottom line is that being in your comfort zone completely kills creativity and curiosity. Doing things you haven't done before will make you come out of your shell.

Getting out of your comfort zone means that you are aware that there is fear and uncertainty, and if you feel them, then this is normal. You simply must not let these emotions stop you from exploring the world around you. If you take risks even when you are a little afraid, you will realize that it will become easier to do.

Psychologists have found that in order for a person to show more ingenuity, he needs to feel a little anxiety. If people are a little unsure about a situation, they work harder, which leads to higher productivity.

On the other hand, you don't want to try too hard and too often. Too much severe anxiety will make your brain stop working. So be patient with yourself and only occasionally push yourself a little harder.

This does not mean that you need to go skydiving if you are afraid to look out from the balcony of the second floor. But whether it's salsa, hiking, or making your own sushi, make a promise to yourself that you'll start acting out of your comfort zone.

2.3 Set "easy" goals. One way to slow yourself down in society is to expect immediate perfection. Instead, develop self-confidence by setting challenging but achievable goals. As your self-confidence grows, you will set more challenging goals for yourself.

Try to chat with someone at the meeting. If you imagine that you will find yourself in a situation where you will have to "welcome" and communicate with everyone, especially if you have just begun to get out of your shell, then this may be too much of a task. Instead, plan to hang out with just one person. It's absolutely doable! And when you do this, you can add this achievement to your "shelf of psychological success."

Look at other people who seem shy. You are not the only one in the world who has difficulty overcoming isolation! At the next meeting, look around you and look for someone who is huddled in a corner or feeling uncomfortable. Come and meet. Maybe it will inspire another person to come out of their shell.

2.4 The possibility of making mistakes should be accepted. Not every interaction will go the way you expect. Not everyone will respond well to your attempts at rapprochement. Sometimes what you say will fail. This is fine! Accepting uncertainty and outcomes that aren't what you intended will help you stay open to connecting with others.

Turning failures or difficulties into learning experiences can also help keep you from seeing it (or yourself) as a "failure." When we mistakenly think we're failures, we lose the will to keep trying, so what's the use? Instead, look for what you can learn from each situation, even if it was awkward or didn't go as you hoped.

For example, you could try to meet someone and strike up a conversation at a party, but that person was not interested in the conversation and left. Sad, but you know what? It's not a failure; is not real mistake especially since you had the perseverance and courage to do it. You can also learn something new from such cases, for example, signs that someone is not interested in talking at that moment, and realize that you are not to blame for other people's actions.

When you feel uncomfortable about something, remember that everyone makes mistakes. Maybe you've asked someone how their girlfriend is doing, even though everyone knows that she dumped him a few weeks ago. Maybe you realized that you talk too much about your childhood passions for ferrets. It's all right - we all do it. The important thing is that you failed, but did not give up. Don't let one mistake made in society keep you from trying in the future.

3. Become more sociable

3.1 Position yourself as a friendly person. Showing other people's interest in talking to you is one part of the process of getting a person out of their shell. You may be surprised to hear that people, because you are too shy and afraid to even think that others will give you a positive assessment, think of you as an arrogant or impolite person. This can be changed today. The next time someone comes up to you or starts a conversation, give that person a big smile, stand up straight and square your shoulders, and then ask with keen interest how he or she is doing. If you are used to hiding in your shell, then this will require you to practice, but you can do it.

If you're shy, you can pretend to read a book or bent over your cell phone, but this can make people think you're too busy to chat with them.

Even if you are shy, you can appear friendly and lively. Even if you don't talk much, then nodding, maintaining eye contact, smiles at appropriate moments and general form, which speaks of your satisfaction with yourself, will work as signs of an “active listener”. Being an active listener helps people feel that you are interested and involved in the conversation. If you just back up and study the floor, then people may even forget you are there.

Try to repeat a few key ideas conversation as the basis of your own participation. This will not only show that you are listening, but will also help other people feel understood. For example, if you are listening to someone talk about their trip to India, you might say something like, “That sounds so magical! I've never been to India, but I went to Indiana once."

If you find it difficult to talk about yourself at such moments, then you can use this tactic until you feel more comfortable talking about yourself.

3.2 Ask people open-ended questions. Once you have started a conversation with a person, it is best to ask a few simple questions about himself, his plans or the topic with which the conversation began. Questions are considered more mild form social interaction, since you can talk a little about yourself, but thereby show your interest and continue the conversation. You don't need to bombard your interlocutor with questions or look like a detective, which will make him feel embarrassed; just ask a friendly question when there is a pause in the conversation.

It's obvious that shy people it’s harder to just open up and start talking about yourself. This is good way to start.

Some examples open questions: "Where did you find such an amazing T-shirt?" or “What is your favorite book and why?” or “Where is the place where they make the best coffee?”

3.3 Start talking about yourself. Once you start to feel more comfortable talking to, or even with, your friends, you can gradually open up to them. Of course, we are not talking about the fact that you have to reveal all your innermost secrets from the very beginning, but gradually, little by little, you will start to tell something. Relax. Tell funny story about one of your teachers. Show people a cute picture of Cupcake, your pet rabbit. If someone talks about their trip to Las Vegas, talk about the ridiculous trip there with your family. The key is baby steps.

You may even begin to open up with words like, “Me too” or “I understand you. One day I…” when people share their experiences.

Even by telling stupid jokes or small details, you will more and more get out of your shell. When people around you show a positive reaction to your words, it will be easier for you to open up more and more.

You don't have to share anything first. Wait for a few more people to do it.

Both complete isolation and excessive talkativeness about oneself may seem impolite. If a person shares a lot of things with you, and you can only answer “Uh-huh ...”, then this person may be offended that you, apparently, are embarrassed to listen to other people. Even "Me too!" helps others feel more connected to you.

Use first names when talking to new people. This will make them feel like they are important to you.

Use hints to start a conversation. If the person is wearing a baseball cap, you might ask them what their favorite team is or how they became a fan of the sport.

You can make a simple statement after the question. For example, you can say: “Imagine, because of the rain, I stayed at home all weekend. Helped my mother with a lot of things. And you? Did you do something more interesting?

3.5 Learn to read people. Reading people is a social skill that will help you have a better conversation and get out of your shell. Capturing the state of the interlocutor - whether he is excited and ready to talk or distracted by something, or just in bad mood, can help you guess what topic to talk about or not talk to this person at all in this moment.

It is also important to understand psychological behavior groups; Does a group of people understand jokes only within their own and hardly accept strangers, or do people claim something? This can help you figure out how to put yourself with them.

If someone smiles and takes a leisurely stroll without visible target, then yes, this person will be more inclined to talk to you than those who are nervous, furiously scrolling through text messages on your phone or walking at a speed of 2 km per minute.

3.6 Focus on the moment. When you talk to people, focus on what is happening: the topic of the conversation, the facial expression of the interlocutor, who is participating in the conversation, and so on. Don't worry about what you said 5 minutes ago or what you'll say in the next 5 minutes when you get a chance to comment. Remember the part of the article about getting rid of self-doubt? Also, this applies not only to your daily thoughts, but especially to your way of thinking while speaking.

If you are too busy caring about everything you have said or will say, then you are likely to pay less attention to the conversation and participate less in it. If you are distracted or nervous, other people may be talking.

If you notice yourself getting really distracted or nervous about a conversation, count your inhales and exhales silently until you get to 10 or 20 (without losing the thread of the conversation, of course!). This will force you to be more aware of the moment and less concerned with other details.

4. Seek acceptance

4.1 Start saying yes and stop making excuses. If you want to get used to getting out of your shell, then it will not be enough to just improve in the social game at the moment. You need to develop the habit of interacting with other people, attending new events and being active in public life. You may say no to all of this out of fear of socializing, not wanting to feel uncomfortable being around people you don't know, or because you're more comfortable being alone than with others. . What, with today these excuses must stop.

The next time someone asks you for something, ask yourself - you are not saying "no" because good reason but out of fear or laziness? If fear is holding you, then no “no” and go!

You don't have to say "yes" to an offer from a girl you don't know to go to the "bug lovers" club or to agree to absolutely everything that is offered to you. Just make it your goal to say “yes” more often. You can do it.

4.2 Make more invitations. Part of your coming out of your shell is not only accepting the actions of others, but also your own. own planning. If you want to be seen as more sociable, then you should become someone who occasionally invites people to his place. Even if you're just inviting over pizza and watching Scandal, or inviting a class friend over for coffee, you'll be talked about as a friendly person.

Of course, the fear of rejection may increase again. People may refuse, but it is most likely because they are busy.
Plus, if you invite to your place, then people are likely to invite you to their place in return.

4.3 Understand that you cannot completely change. If you are extremely shy, an introvert, then yes, it is unlikely that in a month you will turn into a talker. Introverts can't truly turn into extroverts, especially in a short amount of time, but they can definitely change their behavior and attitude. Plus, you don't have to be the most extroverted or the friendliest in the class in order to come out of your shell and bring out your best qualities.

So don't be discouraged if you can't bring yourself to start dancing on the tables and charm everyone you see. You may not want this anyway.

4.4 Don't forget to "reload". If you are a typical introvert, then you need time to re-energize after social communication, or just like that. Typical extroverts are energized by other people, while introverts actually expend energy in communication. And if your batteries are dead, then you need recharging, just a few hours to be alone.

While you can tighten up your social schedule, never forget to include "personal time" in it from time to time, even if it seems difficult.

4.5 Find your people. Face the truth. At the end of the day, you may never have been able to crawl out of your shell and become a total stranger. However, as you get more comfortable getting out of your shell, you can find those people who really will be “yours” and make you feel even better. Perhaps it will be a company of 5 of your close friends with whom you really relax, sing like an idiot and dance the Macarena. But this core company can help you become more outgoing in public as well.

If you find your company, it will help you feel more comfortable, gain confidence and, in long term stop being closed. And what could be better?

4.6 Become stronger than discomfort. If you're having trouble getting out of your shell, it may be because of your habit of leaving the room when you feel uncomfortable. If you find yourself in such social situation When you don't know many people around you, don't actively participate in the situation, or feel out of place, then you can leave, apologizing for your early departure, or simply disappear quietly. Well, no more quitting when things get hard for you - instead, dive into your discomfort and you'll see that it's not as bad as you think.

The more you get used to feeling out of place, the less you'll worry about it later. Just take a deep breath, tell yourself it's not the end of the world, and find a way to strike up a conversation, or just pretend you're having a great time.

People don't recognize you as a person unless they talk to you! If you look pleasant and presentable, then others will be more comfortable next to you! Smile!