“Hello,” Joe said to Mary. Mary looked up from her book.
− Hello.
Joe shifted nervously from foot to foot. He was more than sure - everyone in the school cafeteria was looking at him now.
- What are you doing? - he asked.
- Wow. And what are you reading?
− "Moby Dick"
- Yes, about the fishermen.
Joe sat down at the table, running his finger down his collar, wiping sweat.
“I want to ask you something,” he said.
- I'm listening.
Has anyone invited you to the prom yet?
- I didn't want to go there.
- Yes, you know, everyone goes there. Do you want us to go together?
− Hmm. I will consider your offer.
- What is there to think, agree! I'll take a car from my father, heaps of money ...
- Sounds like a good idea...
- We'll have dinner at Benny's.
“Okay, I agree.”
This dialogue is written in dramatic form. It develops around the conflict, as we see the opposition of the desires of the two characters (he wants to go to the prom with her, she does not want to go there), the conflict comes to a climax, the characters reach harmony. And yet the dialogue doesn't work. Why?
First, the dialogue is faded. AT this case we are dealing with a direct dialogue. AT direct dialogue character always says what he thinks. He does not try to dodge, lie, make jokes, throw dust in his eyes. In good dialogue, the character expresses his desires indirectly. Let's make the same dialogue mediated.
"I'll have to sit here, that's the job," Joe said.
− What? Mary looked up from her book.
- Yeah, I'm paid a dollar and a half an hour to sit with a book in the school cafeteria and serve as an example for everyone.
- Sit where you want, we are in a free country.
Joe smiled at her and said:
“I can predict your future.
“And how did you recognize him?”
- I read Tarot.
- I come from a Unitarian family, so I don't believe in tarot reading.
Joe took a deck of cards out of his pocket and began shuffling them. Finally he laid one of the cards on the table.
“At eight o’clock, a Shavi Nova car will come for you.”
- A stunningly handsome young man in a white tuxedo will be driving.
“Where is he taking me?”
He will take you to prom.
− Class! Did all the cards tell you?
− Yes. But I'm not going to tell you everything, - he put the cards in his pocket. I don't like spoiling surprises.
- Are you inviting me on a date?
− Do you agree?
- Everyone should have told you the cards. So you know yourself."
We have a mediated dialogue. Therefore, it seems to us much more interesting. Dialogues between characters acting at the limit of their capabilities are always indirect. In television sitcoms, almost all dialogue is direct. Therefore, they are boring.
When working on dialogues, the characters are wittier, more charming, more educated, smarter, more talkative than you are. How is this possible? It's all about time. The actions and speech of the characters seem spontaneous. We consider the characters to be real people who say and do smart things. Joe put the cards in his pocket and went to chat. The author of the book may have gone two nights without sleep wondering how Joe would impress Mary.
Have you ever met idiots at parties who like to talk about the inferiority of women? Let's say one of them is talking to you. You want to object, but the phrase: "The fool himself" is the only thing that comes to your mind. On the way home, you understand: you should have quoted from the work of Simone de Bevoir on the phenomenology of class and cultural gender differences in the framework of the theory of existential-cultural determinism. Then the fool would shut up.
Now let's imagine that in this situation hit the character of your work. Would you think carefully and find Right words, which would put into the character's mouth. It may take you a week to do this, but it will seem to the reader that the character spoke his words spontaneously.
There are three styles of dramatic work: narrative, episodic and semi-episodic.
Features of the narrative style are as follows: the author tells about events, shows the development of characters, works on internal conflict, but talk about it briefly. The novel Madame Bovary is almost entirely written in a narrative style.
“Charles did not know what to answer; he revered his mother and loved his wife infinitely; his mother's opinion was law for him, but he had nothing to reproach Emma with either. After his mother's departure, he timidly tried to repeat in the same terms some of her most harmless remarks, but Emma, without wasting extra words, proved to him, like two times two, that he was wrong, and sent to the sick. And yet, following the wise, from her point of view, rules, she tried to convince herself that she loved her husband. In the moonlight garden she recited to him all the love poems she could remember, and sang despondent adagios with sighs, but this did not bother her in the least, and Charles did not arouse a surge of tenderness, did not shake him. Finally, Emma was convinced that she could not strike a spark of fire from her heart, and besides, she was unable to understand what she herself did not experience, to believe in what did not fit into prescribed form, and she easily managed to convince herself that there was nothing unusual in Charles's feeling. He ordered the manifestations of this feeling in a certain way - he caressed her at certain hours. It became, as it were, one of his habits, something like a dessert, which is anticipated in advance, sitting at a monotonous dinner ... "
“At dinner, my husband found that she looked good. When he asked if she was satisfied with the walk, Emma did not seem to hear the question; she still sat over the plate, leaning on the table, lit by two candles.
- Emma! Charles said.
- You know, today I visited Alexander. He has an old mare, very good, only now his knees are bald, - I am sure that he will give her for a hundred crowns ... I decided to please you and bought her, - he added. - Did I do the right thing? Well? Why are you silent?
She shook her head affirmatively. A quarter of an hour later she asked:
− Are you going somewhere in the evening?
− Yes. And what?
- Just like that, dear, nothing!
Having got rid of Charles, she immediately locked herself in her room. At first it was some kind of delusion: she saw trees, roads, ditches, Rodolphe in front of her, still felt his embrace, heard the rustle of leaves and the rustle of reeds. Looking at herself in the mirror, she marveled at the expression on her face. She had never had such large, such black, such deep eyes before. Something elusive, poured into her entire appearance, transformed her. "I have a lover! Lover!" - she repeated, rejoicing at this thought, as if maturity had come again.
The semi-episodic style alternates between narrative and episodic styles.
“Just before Michaelmas Day, Charles arrived at Berto for three days. The third day, like the previous two, passed in the fact that his departure was postponed and postponed. Papa Rouault went to see Charles off; they were walking along a country road and were about to say goodbye; it was time to speak, Charles promised himself to start when they reached the end of the hedge, and as soon as the hedge was behind him, he muttered:
“Mr. Rouault, I have something to tell you.
Both stopped. Charles was silent.
- Well, lay it out! I already know everything! said Rouault, chuckling softly.
- Dad! .. Dad! .. - Charles babbled.
“I am very pleased,” continued the farmer. - The girl, probably, too, but still you need to ask her. Well, goodbye, I'm going home. But only if she says yes, don’t come back - do you hear? - in order to avoid gossip, and this can excite her too much. And so that you don’t languish, I will give you a sign: I will open the window wide open on the other side - you will climb the fence and see.
Tying his horse to a tree, Charles ran out onto the path and waited. Thirty minutes passed, then he ticked another nineteen by the clock. Suddenly something hit the wall - the window swung open, the bolt was still trembling. [End of episode, return to narrative style.]
The next day Charles was already at the farm at nine o'clock in the morning. Emma blushed at the sight of him, but in order not to betray her excitement, she tried to grin. Papa Rouault hugged his future son-in-law. We started talking about the material side of things; however, there was still enough time for this - decency demanded that the marriage take place after Charles had finished mourning, that is, not before spring.
Winter has passed in anticipation ... "
AT dramatic work the presence of a developing conflict is necessary. This statement is true not only for the dramatic work as a whole, but also for each episode. Since the episode has an evolving conflict, there must be a climax and a resolution, even if the conflict continues to develop in subsequent episodes. The key conflicts in the episode and in the work as a whole do not have to coincide. For example, a key conflict develops between the main character and his wife, and the first episode in the work contains a conflict between the main character and the boss. A conflict in the episode will result in the protagonist being fired. This event, in turn, will affect the key conflict.
The structure of the episode does not differ from the structure of the whole work. At the beginning, the tension is slight, but it gradually builds up until the climax comes, followed by the denouement. Here is an example from A Christmas Carol in Prose.
“And the poor insane meanwhile, having released Scrooge's nephew, let in new visitors. [Before us is a bridge connecting this episode with the previous one.] They were two portly gentlemen of pleasant appearance, in their hands they held some folders and papers. Taking off their hats, they entered the office and bowed to Scrooge.
- Scrooge and Marley, if I'm not mistaken? - asked one of them, consulting some list. - Do I have the pleasure of talking to Mr. Scrooge or Mr. Marley?
“Mr. Marley has been resting in the cemetery for seven years now,” answered Scrooge. “He died on Christmas Eve, exactly seven years ago. [The conflict does not start yet, because Scrooge does not yet know that the gentlemen have come to ask for money.]
“Then we have no doubt that the generosity and breadth of the nature of the deceased is equally characteristic of his surviving companion,” said one of the gentlemen, presenting his papers. And he was not mistaken, for they were worth each other, these worthy companions, these kindred spirits. Hearing the ominous word "generosity", Scrooge frowned, shook his head and returned the visitor to his papers. [The tension builds.]
− In these holidays"Mr. Scrooge," continued the visitor, taking a pen from the desk, "more than ever it behooves us to the best of our ability to take care of the orphans and the destitute, who suffer especially in such a harsh season. Thousands of poor people are in need of the bare necessities. Hundreds of thousands have no roof over their heads.
- Don't we have prisons? asked Scrooge. [Scrooge gets angry: he realized that they came for the money.]
- Ostrogov? As much as you like, - answered the visitor, putting the pen back.
What about workhouses? Scrooge continued. - Are they still operating?
- Unfortunately, still. Although, - said the visitor, - I would be happy to report that they were covered.
- So, and forced labor exist and the Poor Law remains in effect?
“Neither one nor the other has been cancelled.
“And you scared me, gentlemen. From your words, I was ready to conclude that all this good activity, for some reason, came to naught. Glad to hear that I was wrong.
“Being convinced that all these laws and institutions do nothing for the soul or the body,” the visitor objected, “we decided to collect donations for the benefit of the poor in order to buy them some food, drink and warm clothes. We chose Christmas Eve for this purpose precisely because on these days the need is felt especially acutely, and abundance gives especially much joy. How much will you allow me to write on your behalf?
- None.
- Do you want to donate without revealing your name?
"I want to be left alone," Scrooge snapped. - Since you gentlemen wished to know what I want - here is my answer to you. I don't indulge myself on holidays, and I don't have the means to indulge idlers. I support the mentioned institutions, and it costs me a lot. Those in need can apply there.
- Not everyone can do it, but others do not want to - they will rather die.
"If they choose to die, so much the better," said Scrooge. - It will reduce the population surplus. And besides, I'm sorry, I'm not interested.
- This should interest you.
“All this does not concern me at all,” said Scrooge. Let everyone mind their own business. In any case, I have my own affairs up to my throat. Goodbye gentlemen!
Seeing that it was useless to insist, the gentlemen withdrew [the climax followed by the denouement], and Scrooge, very pleased with himself, returned to his interrupted studies in an unusually cheerful mood for him.
Meanwhile, outside the window, the fog and darkness have thickened so much ... ”[Bridge to the next episode.]
An example of an entire episode has just been given. The episode begins with the arrival of two gentlemen, the conflict develops and reaches a climax, ends with a denouement, after which a bridge is thrown to the next episode. The whole episode should not be used too often. At the beginning of the episode, the conflict does not have enough intensity to captivate the reader.
Let's say your character wants to be promoted.
He makes a decision: the next morning, the first thing he will go to the boss. The episode is over (decision made). From here, the bridge can be immediately transferred to the middle of the next episode:
“- Joe, finally demand a raise! There is not enough money for the child. If you don't talk to your boss, I'll leave you!
“Okay, okay, I’ll go straight to the boss tomorrow morning.
He could not sleep at night, and the next morning [bridge to the next episode] Joe, standing in front of the boss on shaky legs, said:
“Either you promote me, or I quit!”
The boss, his lips stretched into a wolfish grin, looked at Joe and said:
“Well, Gogsgrove, we will miss you. [Climax of the episode.]
On the same day, Joe bought a rope to hang himself ... "[Decoupling and bridge to the next episode.]
Jumping into the middle of the episode will increase the speed of the plot and help the reader keep their attention on the developing conflict. For variety, the episode's climax is sometimes omitted. If an episode lacks tension, it can be discarded in its entirety. This technique is also used to achieve a comic effect:
“In the morning, Joe realized that there was only one option left. He will take a shotgun from his father and rob a liquor store. Then there will be enough money for the road to Hollywood, and there he will definitely make his way to television. He waited until dark, put on a ski mask, gloves and sneakers. Leaving the car around the corner, Joe went into Fred's liquor store at exactly 9:00. At exactly 9:28 he was taken to the city jail.
When critics point out fast paced development of the plot, this most often means that the writer throws his characters right in the middle of the episode with developing conflict. When you sit down to write a novel, think about each episode. Maybe, to keep up the pace, part of the episode should be omitted?
Before you is the most ordinary, ordinary episode: a policeman arrives at the scene of a murder and talks with a medical examiner.
Lieutenant Fisk pulled up outside a house on Vermont Street and got out of the car.
He ran up the steps and rang the doorbell. A second later, the door was opened by a maid.
She led the lieutenant to the terrace, where the medical examiner was already waiting for him. The medical examiner introduced himself. His name was Herman Triplet. Fisk and Herman shook hands.
- Where is the body? asked Lieutenant Fisk.
- There, - showed Triplet. The medical examiner was tall, his face was decorated with a small mustache.
The maid left. Triplet led the lieutenant to a sofa, behind which lay a corpse covered with a sheet.
"Let's see," Fisk said.
- There is little to enjoy here. - Triplet pulled back the edge of the sheet, and the lieutenant saw the body of a thirty-year-old woman. Her throat had been cut.
- How long has it been since your death? Fisk asked.
- Two hours, maybe three.
− Are there signs of resistance?
- Okay, when will you make a full report?
- It will be on your table at eight in the morning.
- Did you find the weapon?
- Criminologists left?
- It's been an hour since they should be here.
- Do not touch the corpse until they arrive. In the meantime, I'll talk to the maid.
"All right, lieutenant."
There is nothing new in this pathetic boring episode, there is no conflict, the characters are formulaic. Such an episode can be seen in any police series. In addition, there is no zest in the episode, it is colorless. Let's introduce conflict into the episode and see what happens. Let's start from the moment when the lieutenant gets on the terrace.
“My name is Fisk,” the lieutenant introduced himself, without even thinking to give the young man a hand.
- Triplet, - Triplet introduced himself.
− New? Fisk asked.
- I have already worked.
“Why didn’t I see you then?”
− Worked.
“If you were worth anything, I would have heard of you.
- I'm doing well.
- If you need, Tut, you will be called.
The maid nodded and left.
- Well, where is the body, Trippet?
Behind the sofa.
The lieutenant looked over the sofa.
- Did you find her like that - with a sheet?
- I covered it.
“I don’t like it when people touch something at the crime scene. Remove sheet.
Trippet pulled off the sheet and the lieutenant bent over the woman's corpse, examining the wound.
"Time of death, Trippet?"
- I would say that death occurred two or three hours ago.
The lieutenant lit a cigar.
“I thought you said you were doing well.
− By morning I will be ready to tell you what she had for breakfast and when last time went to the toilet.
- All right, Trippet. I'll be looking forward to it. I always look forward to everything. Where the hell are criminalists?
“They were called, that's all I know.
- Call again. Tell them if they don't show up in five minutes, I'll kick them in the ass and break their heads.
- Okay.
The episode looks better now as the characters are in conflict. The only negative is that the dialogue is too straightforward. Let's redo the dialogue once again, eliminating this shortcoming. We'll start again from the meeting between the lieutenant and the medical examiner:
"Fisk," Fisk introduced himself.
- Triplet, - sounded in response.
The lieutenant turned to the maid.
- Isn't it time for you to clean up? [Hint, implying the phrase: "Get out."]
The maid quickly ran out of the room. The lieutenant turned to Triplet.
− Where is Henessy? [Hint, implying the phrase: "What are you doing here?"]
− Last Friday, Hennessey had last call. ["He retired."]
- His knowledge went with him to retirement. ["You must have no experience, Trippet."]
- I have been working for six months. ["I have experience".]
“I have never heard of you. [“What are you standing for?”]
Trippet blushed.
“I have never heard of you either.
Fisk laughed.
- Well, where is the blind man? [T. e. corpse.]
"Third ward, bed number one," Triplet replied, pushing back the sofa and pulling off the sheet.
"What fine work," said Lieutenant Fisk, bending over the body. - I love aesthetes, I hate butchers. And what do we have with KChPK? [The meaning of the question is clarified by Triplet's answer.]
- I don’t know “who”, I don’t know “what”, I have no idea “why”, but I’ll say “when”.
- I'll say it myself. Judging by her rigor mortis, she was killed two and a half hours ago.
Triplet nodded dumbfounded.
“Henessy told me all sorts of things,” the lieutenant explained. “I listened and shook my head.” ["I have experience".]
Hence the moral: the dialogue should be vivid, be of a mediated type, and contain conflict. How to achieve this? Read on.
Most authors first write a rough draft of a novel, and then work on it for a long time, achieving quality improvements. This is especially true for dialogues. After you have written the dialogue, you need to reread it and answer a series of questions:
Is there a conflict?
Are there any platitudes?
Can it be converted to an indirect type?
Are all replicas colorful enough?
Let's look at the next exchange. It takes place in the evening between Lucy and Joe. Joe was fired from his position as a supply agent.
He doesn't want to talk about firing Lucy. She is due to give birth in three months, they have no savings. The exchange of remarks begins as soon as Joe crosses the threshold:
Seeing the expression on her husband's face, Lucy asked:
"Sunny, what happened?"
- Nothing happened. What did you take from?
You didn't kiss me when you came in.
- I'm not in the mood.
"Can you tell me what happened?"
- Why are you so curious today?
“Maybe I have a right to that, after all, I’m your wife.”
- But not the boss!
With these words, Joe ran out of the room.
For brevity, let's close our eyes to the fact that in this dialogue we have to deal with a spasmodic conflict.
Now let's start working on the dialogue. We will read line by line, each time asking the four questions above.
So the first line:
"Sunny, what happened?"
Is there a conflict? Yes. The question is, in its way, an attack. Lucy demands certain information from Joe. She pushes Joe to answer. Is there a banality here? There is. Then how to rephrase the question so as to remove the banality, while maintaining the conflict?
"What's on your face?" No, it's even more banal. "Sunny, why are you so rumpled?" Is it okay? Is there a conflict? Is there no banality? Is it possible to convert a replica into an indirect type? The word "rumpled" in relation to a person is a metaphor. This means that the replica is already of an indirect type. Is the replica colorful enough? The only way find the answer - arrange for a few minutes brainstorm and try to find a better option. Maybe: "Sunny, you look like a deflated balloon." I do not like? Okay, let's leave the word "rumpled" in the remark.
Let's move on to the next line. Joe replies, “Nothing happened. Where did you get it from? Conflict? Well, actually protection, and sluggish. The replica lacks color. Plus to everything from it blows banality. We put this replica "deuce".
Let's start brainstorming. How about: "It's all just a fairy tale"? Too trite? Yes, in part, but after a while you find that nothing else comes to mind. Anyway, new version the replica belongs to the mediated type, it is bright, we see a conflict in it. You decide to leave it like this. After you In a similar way worked through each replica, you get the following:
“Sunny, why are you so rumpled?
– I don’t know, it’s all just a fairy tale.
"Why don't you kiss then?"
- I caught a cold, I don't want to infect you.
- You're not a cold, you caught grumps, and grumps are not contagious.
“Listen, Lucy, do you know what the first rule of married life is? You don’t have to immediately climb right from the doorstep with questions to your husband. You need to wait at least thirty seconds.
- And the second rule: share your secrets.
“And the third rule: you are my wife, not the boss, so leave me alone!”
If you want to include this dialogue in a work, know that it still needs a lot of work on it. The word "rumpled" is not entirely appropriate, "everything is just a fairy tale" does not sound very natural. The longer you work on replicas, the better they will become. Most dialogues require just such step-by-step elaboration. With each step you will intensify the conflict, bring more novelty, brightness and colors. With each step, the dialogue will get better and better.
Commandments three:
A. Be original.
B. Use the full palette of sensations.
C. Be a poet.
Before you is a boring passage containing an ordinary description of events.
There is nothing special about it. This is usually obtained in the first draft:
“When Miss Applegate arrived at the station, the train had already left. Not knowing what to do, she darted around the platform. There were stops along the way. Maybe she could intercept him at the next station? With this request, she turned to the taxi driver. “No way,” he replied, “nothing will work.” There must be a way out. She returned to the station and asked one of the employees when the next train was. “In two hours,” he replied. She couldn't wait that long. Suddenly, an idea came to her mind. What if she takes a plane? Precisely, if she flies by plane, she will be in time."
There is nothing original in the episode. Let's put some details into the episode and you'll see it come to life right away.
“When Beatrice Applegate arrived at Reno Amtrak, she saw the tail of the departing five o'clock train to San Diego. She tossed about the gray flagstones of the old platform, not knowing what to do. She suddenly remembered that the five o'clock train always stopped at Verdi, where they loaded the mail car. She rushed to the taxi driver as thin as a stick. The taxi driver was leaning against an old Plymouth and was studying a sheet of race results. "One hundred dollars if we're in Verdi in fifteen minutes," she breathed, shoving the bill under the taxi driver's nose.
The old taxi driver considered all the pros and cons, spat, said: “It won’t work,” and again plunged into reading. Groaning with impotence, Beatrice rushed back to the platform. There must be a way out! said: "Next train to westbound departs at 7.10". charter flights from sparks airport? She'll get to the airport in twenty minutes, fly from there to Marysville, and intercept the train before it gets to Sacramento!"
You probably won't win a Pulitzer Prize with this passage. Nevertheless, it is definitely better than the boring and slurred first option. We got rid of common phrases added originality. However, we are still dealing with the usual description of what is happening, the episode lacks sensuality. Let's not forget good writer refers not only to the visual range, but also to smell, touch, taste. The character throws it into the heat, then into the cold. The writer can touch on feelings that belong to the realm human psyche: premonition, deja vu, etc. Here is an example.
“Beatrix Applegate, arriving at the Reno Amtrak station, saw the tail of the departing five o'clock train to San Diego, disappearing into the sunset haze. A horn sounded from afar. Gusts of hot wind blowing from the desert carried away the clouds of smoke that poured from the chimney of a steam locomotive. The wind lashed my cheeks and burned my nostrils. Tapping her heels, she darted across the gray flagstones of the old platform. What to do? She glanced at the wall. On it hung an old, dusty map. The map gave her an idea. Ten minutes to Verdi station - there is a parking lot by the train - mail is being loaded. Nearby she saw a taxi, an old black-and-yellow Plymouth with rusty wings. A dark-skinned Mexican taxi driver leaned wearily against the car, studying a sheet with the results of the races. The taxi driver reeked of marijuana and posed danger. purse a hundred-dollar bill and waved it under the taxi driver's nose, his eyes lit up.
“We'll intercept the train to Verdi, and the money is yours. The taxi driver thought a few times, threw up and caught a bunch of keys.
"It won't," he finally shook his head.
The third commandment: be a poet. “Easy to say but hard to do,” you say. Here you are right, but the difficulties are not limited to this. The third commandment also has an amendment: "Do not overdo it." The third commandment requires the writer to use figures of speech to enhance the effect. Figures of speech include personification, hyperbole, metaphor, and simile.
Personification - endowment human qualities inanimate objects: "I love my car, but it seems to hate me." Hyperbole - excessive exaggeration: "My ex-wife she was kind like an SS man, and her temper was like that of a crocodile. Metaphor - the use of words and expressions in figuratively: "She quit her diet in May, and by November she turned into a barrel", "George put his hand into a dynamo, his hand turned into a hamburger." Some metaphors have been used so often that they have become a cliché: "look at the world through rose-colored glasses." Comparison - likening one to another: "The horse stepped on his foot, it became like a pancake", "Mary's boyfriend is stupid as a cork." A successful figure of speech will not only shock the reader, it will evoke certain associations. Dickens, for example, writes that "Scrooge hid like an oyster in a shell." The comparison is very vivid, the oyster is not only fenced off by a shell from the world, this creature also has a vile appearance.
Humbert Humbert describes his first encounter with Lolita thus: "A black polka-dotted handkerchief hid her breasts from my old monkey eyes." The eyes of the “monkey” character are not only ugly, but also because their owner is a child molester, an animal. When we first encounter Charles Bovary, Flaubert describes him as follows: "his hair was cut in a circle, like a country clerk." Without a doubt, rural psalmists cut their hair in this way. However, this comparison leads us to certain associations. Rural psalmists must be limited, boring, uninteresting. This is exactly what Charles is. The chief, the character narrated in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, says that McMurphy's voice "was loud and embodied hell." But the matter is not limited to the voice. The Chief further describes the head nurse: "her lips were triangular like a doll's, always folded as if asking for a pacifier." Before us is a doubly successful comparison: the lips of the head nurse are like a doll, but the nurse herself is like a doll - there is nothing human in her.
How to choose the right figures of speech for your own work?
You don't have to be a genius, it's all about practice. When you're working on a piece, try to include all the figures of speech that come to mind in your draft. Let sometimes you think that some of them sound stupid. If you want to use an adjective you don't like as a definition, put down your pen and think for a moment. Maybe you can find a comparison that conveys the image much brighter. The character is tall - tall as... He is smart - smart as... The puppy is adorable - adorable as... The more practice, the better your speech patterns will become.
Be careful. If you refuse figures of speech, the work will be faded. And unsuccessful figures are ridiculous, like penguins in the jungle. They distort the meaning, turn the text into curiosity and absurdity. All of the above is true if, by the way, you don't want to write a comedy piece.
Here are a couple of tips.
Avoid templates: blind as a mole / cold as ice / bright as the sun / hard as a rock / healthy as a horse / streams of tears / sea of faces.
Do not use many comparisons in a row in one sentence: "She was tall as a telegraph pole, thin as a reed, her skin was soft as velvet, and her eyes were blue as the sea."
Don't mix metaphors: "He buried his talent in the ground and hid his head in the sand."
Don't write about things the reader might not understand: "He smelled like S02." (Not everyone knows that S0 2 is a formula for sulfur dioxide that smells like rotten eggs.)
Don't stretch the comparison: "His hands were as tough as tree roots, blackened from years underground, rough as if eaten by termites, and tough as roots should be."
Be careful with the object of comparison: "The evening was fine and warm, the sky was strewn with stars like the cheeks of a smallpox patient - abscesses."
If you are describing something repulsive, you should be no less careful with comparisons: “Holding his nose, he looked into the sewer. From time to time, bubbles bubbled up on the surface - green, like Christmas tree decorations.
Remember, the reader must clearly understand the object of comparison.
Avoid such passages: “Her face looked like road map, which was superimposed on the plan of the Pentagon building.
Don't overdo the comparison: "Her eyes were like the Indian sapphires that a Tangier jeweler used on South African diamonds."
Do not mix literal and figurative expressions: "Doubleday was the father of baseball, two sons and a daughter."
There are certain techniques that will allow you to breathe life and strength into a sluggish and boring work. For example, the concept of time can be woven into the narrative pattern.
She glanced at the empty gray prairie. Somewhere out there, Chief Running Bear died, and the 7th Cavalry Brigade slaughtered a thousand Indians in one day. Sadness and sadness overwhelmed her. "The soup is ready," someone said behind her. She turned and walked back through the gray-tiled courtyard. The sliding door was open, and she entered the living room. Dinner was already on the table. , chief, Indians and butchers from the seventh cavalry brigade have been forgotten."
Another powerful technique is to skip the episode through the perception of the character, that is, in other words, to describe events from his point of view. Sometimes the character perceives incorrectly what he sees.
“Norman woke up, stretched in his sleeping bag and looked out over the Yucca Plain. The soldiers he had been hiding from the day before had disappeared. He saw only the tower and the houses. “Now, maybe I’ll find out what they need,” he thought.
The work must be alive, not static. Either the episode itself changes, or its perception by the reader changes. Here is a static picture.
“There was a red barn behind the house. They haven't been used for many years. The paint peeled off, the door flew off its hinges, the feeders were overturned.
Before us is a landscape. Now let's add dynamics to the episode.
“There was a red barn behind the house. The bolts on rusty hinges creaked from side to side. The paint bulged and peeled, pieces of it were blown away by the wind and thrown into empty feeders. The barn still echoed the squealing of the thousands of pigs that had once been kept there.”
Remember the third commandment: "Be a poet"? And the amendment to it: "Do not overdo it"? The author of the following passage forgot about this amendment.
“Mildred was a small snub-nosed woman with ears like a mouse. She always held her body straight and walked like a sparrow. Her sonorous, chirping voice only strengthened the resemblance. However, this is where the similarity with the sparrow ended. Her legs were like those of a buffalo, and not an African one, it’s just the legs are long and straight, but a Thai one, whose legs are thick, like the cedar used to trim the forecastles of junks in Hong Kong.
Summing up, let's say that your work should be bright, saturated ( more details, less common phrases), it should feel the pace. Use the whole palette of sensations: hearing, sight, taste, smell, touch. Don't forget about spiritual world and remember to have a sense of humor.
Excerpts from the novel "Madam Bovary" are given in the translation of N. Lyubimov
The most actual problem all authors on Ficbook - design of direct speech and dialogues. Everyone punctuates how they want and where they want. And this, I confess, is more than annoying. Seeing an illiterately designed text, many stop reading it without even really starting. Therefore, for your own sake, for the sake of your readers, dear authors, take the trouble to adequately draw up a direct speech.
Here is an example from some fanfiction (literally the first one that came across; names and titles have been changed):
- Rosa answered me, "I'll take you to Lim tomorrow, it's already dark!". - Rosa and I walked through the forest to her house ... "
And there are many such examples. Of course, I understand that there are people who simply did not go through this topic at school, but all the same, such a design is no good. Let me explain to you how punctuation marks are correctly placed in dialogue and direct speech. Let's start with the last one.
Direct speech
Direct speech - the words of a person, transmitted directly in the form in which they were spoken.
For example:
When we drove up to the estate, the driver jumped to the ground and, opening the door of the britzka, obligingly said: "Please, sir."
"Where are you in such a hurry?" the teacher called after me.
To properly punctuate narrative direct speech, memorize visual diagrams.
"P", - a.
The letter "A (a)" here means the words of the author, and the letter "P" - direct speech. The letter "P" in both cases is large, which means direct speech always begins with capital letter. But the words of the author can begin with both a capital and a small letter. With a big- if the words of the author precede direct speech; with little- if the words of the author stand after direct speech.
Regarding punctuation marks, here is the order:
➤ Direct speech is always quoted.
➤ If the sentence with direct speech is narrative and comes before the words of the author, then a comma is needed after the quotes:
“We are already approaching,” the conductor warned, opening the compartment door.
➤ If the narrative direct speech is after the words of the author, then the point is placed after the quotation marks (see first example).
➤ But if direct speech is exclamatory or interrogative, then exclamatory and question marks never put in quotes(see second example) and after them, other punctuation marks (period, comma) are never put.
"P!/?/..." - a.
A: "P!/?/..."
These were the most simple examples. But it happens when the author's speech breaks in and separates the direct speech. And then the schemes are already more complicated and there are more rules.
1) "P, - a, - p".
I explain: if the words of the author break the sentence in the middle, then commas are placed after direct speech and the words of the author; at the beginning, direct speech begins with a capital letter, and after the words of the author - with a small letter. Quotation marks are placed at the beginning of direct speech and at the very end. No quotation marks are needed before or after the words of the author.
"You know," I began hesitantly, "maybe she's right."
2) “P!/?/... - a. - P".
I explain: if the author's words divide the direct speech at the place where the sentence ends, then everything is the same as in the previous case, only after the author's speech a period is put, and the direct speech following the author's words begins with a capital letter.
“Oh, I can't! Kolya laughed. - Wow!"
“Peter the Great was nicknamed the Great for a reason,” said our lecturer. “He did a lot for Russia.”
➤ If direct speech fits between the words of the author, then a colon is placed before the direct speech, and after - a dash. The layout looks like this:
A: "P", - a.
A: "P!/?/..." - a.
For example:
The boy, wiping sweat, said quietly: “Oh, I would like to eat ice cream ...” - after that he closed his eyes dreamily and licked his lips.
➤ There is another important point. It lies in the fact that sometimes a colon is placed before the direct line and after the author's speech. This is done in the case when the beginning of direct speech and its end correspond to different words in the author's speech.
"Why are you here?" - the girl asked, looking in amazement at the newcomer, and immediately added sharply: "I don't want to see you."
The first replica refers to the word "asked", the second - to the word "added", so a colon is needed here. There are, as it were, two direct speeches.
Dialogue design
The rules for the design of the dialogue, in fact, are no different from the rules for the design of direct speech. Everything is exactly the same, only a dash is placed at the beginning of the replica, and there are no quotes. In addition, each replica is written on a new line.
“Grandma, read a fairy tale,” the baby asked, pulling on the blanket.
Fairy tale? - repeated the grandmother. - Come on. What?
The wolf and the seven Young goats! The wolf and the seven Young goats! - the baby squealed happily.
Oh, you, - the grandmother smiled and, sitting on the bed, patted her grandson's hair, - my goat.
I'm not a goat! - the boy was indignant and, frowning, said more quietly: - I am a wolf cub.
➤ All dialogues can be designed in a slightly different form. Personally, it seems to me more complicated, but in some situations I just use it. So take note of it:
"Grandma, read a fairy tale!" - "What?" - "The wolf and the seven Young goats!" - "Oh, you, my goat."
Replicas in this case are written in one line, separated by a dash and taken in quotation marks.
➤ For Ficbook, however, one more rule will have to be added to everything else: dear authors, be sure to put spaces before and after dashes! It is impossible to read without spaces, the words merge into one. Respect your readers and do not be lazy to press the longest button on the keyboard once again.
That was the last thing I wanted to tell you. I hope the article helped you and you will write and design your work more competently. It's not that hard.
Good luck and success in your work!
Even a person far from the literary field will not hurt to know how to compose a dialogue. Students, schoolchildren studying the Russian language course, novice authors given skill just necessary. Another situation: your child asks for help with homework. Let's say he's given the task of composing the dialogue "The Book in Our Lives" or something similar. The semantic component of the task does not cause difficulties. But in the replicas of the heroes raise serious doubts, and the replicas themselves were built somehow not too consistently.
In such a case, you should know how to compose a dialogue in Russian in given topic. In the proposed short article, we will try to analyze the concept of dialogue, the basic principles of its construction and the features of punctuation.
What is this form?
The concept of dialogue refers to the process of mutual communication. Replicas during it are interspersed with response phrases with constant change roles of listener and speaker. Communicative feature dialogue - unity in the expression, perception of thoughts and reactions to them, reflected in its structure. That is, the composition of the dialogue is interrelated replicas of the interlocutors.
Without knowing how to compose a dialogue, an aspiring writer is doomed to failure. After all, this literary form one of the most common in works of art.
When dialogue is appropriate
Every time it happens in specific situation when each of the participants is alternately listening or speaking. Each of the replicas of the dialogue can be considered speech act- action, implying a certain result.
Its main features are due to purposefulness, moderation and observance certain rules. Under the focus speech impact the hidden or explicit goals of any of the participants in the dialogue are understood. It can be a message, a question, advice, an order, a command, or an apology.
In order to achieve their own goals, the interlocutors alternately implement certain intentions, the purpose of which is to encourage the other side to concrete action speech character. Inciting information is expressed either directly in the form of a verb imperative mood, or like: "Could you?" etc.
How to write a dialogue. General rules
- Submission of messages goes in parts. First, the listener is prepared for the perception of information, then it is substantiated, after which it is directly submitted (in the form, for example, of advice or a request). At the same time, it is imperative to comply necessary norms etiquette.
- The subject of the message should correspond to the main purpose of the conversation.
- The speech of the interlocutors must be unambiguous, understandable and consistent.
In case of non-compliance with these rules, a violation of mutual understanding occurs. An example is the incomprehensible speech of one of the interlocutors (with a predominance of unknown terminology or fuzzy articulation).
How the conversation starts
At the beginning of the dialogue, a greeting is implied and quite often the question is asked about the possibility of the conversation itself: "Can I talk to you?", "May I distract you?" etc. Next, most often there are questions about business, health and life in general (most often this applies to informal conversations). These rules should be used if, for example, you need to compose a dialogue of friends. This is usually followed by messages about the immediate purpose of the conversation.
Further, the theme is subject to development. How to compose a dialogue that will look logical and natural? Its structure implies the speaker's information given in portions, interspersed with the interlocutor's remarks with an expression of his reaction. At some point, the latter may seize the initiative in the conversation.
The end of the conversation is final phrases of a generalizing nature and, as a rule, is accompanied by so-called etiquette phrases, followed by farewell.
Ideally, each theme of the dialogue should be developed before moving on to the next. If the topic is not supported by any of the interlocutors, this is a sign of a lack of interest in it or in an attempt to end the dialogue as a whole.
About the culture of speech
When lining up speech behavior understanding is required from both interlocutors, certain skill to penetrate the thoughts and mood of another, to catch his motives. Without all this successful communication impossible. The dialogue technique is various models communication with a variety of means for expressing ideas, feelings and thoughts, as well as mastering tactical communication skills.
According to general rules Each question asked needs its own answer. An incentive response is expected in the form of a word or action. Narration implies reciprocal communication in the form of a counter remark or focused attention.
The latter term refers to such a lack of speech when the listener, using non-verbal signs (gestures, interjections, facial expressions), makes it clear that the speech has been heard and understood.
Let's move on to writing
To compose a dialogue in writing, you need to know the basic rules for its competent construction. So, let's consider the basic rules by which you can make a dialogue of 4 or more replicas. Both the simplest, and quite intricate with a complex plot.
Many authors use it in their works of art. Dialogue differs from direct speech by the absence of quotation marks and a new paragraph for each replica. If the replica is given in quotation marks, then most often it is implied that this is the hero’s thought. All this is written enough strict rules, which are discussed below.
How to compose a dialogue in the Russian language in compliance with the laws of punctuation
When composing a dialogue, it is very important to use punctuation marks correctly. But first, a little about terminology:
A replica is a phrase spoken by the characters aloud or to themselves.
Sometimes you can do without the words of the author - usually, when the conversation consists of replicas of only two people (for example, you have a task - to compose a dialogue with a friend). In this case, each replica is preceded by a dash, followed by a space. Dot, ellipsis, exclamation mark or question mark at the end of the phrase.
When each replica is accompanied by the words of the author, the situation is a little more complicated: the dot should be replaced with a comma (the rest of the characters remain in their places), then a space is put, a dash and again a space. After that, the words of the author are given (exclusively with a small letter).
More difficult options
Sometimes the words of the author can be located before the replica. If at the very beginning of the dialogue they are not highlighted as a separate paragraph, a colon is placed after them, and the remark begins on a new line. In the same way, the next (reply) replica is supposed to start from a new line.
Compose a dialogue in Russian - not the best simple task. The most difficult case can be called the case when the words of the author are placed inside the replica. This grammatical construction most often accompanied by errors, especially among novice authors. It is connected with a large number options, the main ones are two: the sentence is broken by the words of the author or these same words are placed between adjacent sentences.
In both cases, the beginning of the replica is exactly the same as in the example with the words of the author after it (dash, space, the replica itself, again a space, dash, again a space and the author's words written in small letters). The next part is already different. If the words of the author are intended to be placed inside one whole sentence, after these words a comma is required and the further remark continues with a small letter after the dash. If it is decided to place the words of the author between two separate sentences, the first of them should end with a period. And after the indispensable dash, the next remark is written with a capital letter.
Other cases
Sometimes there is a variant (rarely enough) when there are two attributive verbs in the words of the author. In the same way, they can be located before or after the replica, and all together is a single structure, written on a separate line. In this case, the second part of direct speech begins with a colon and a dash.
In works of literature, sometimes you can find constructions even more complicated, but we will not delve into them now.
Having mastered the basic rules of construction, you can similarly, for example, compose a language, etc.
A little about the content
Let's move from punctuation directly to the content of the dialogues. The advice of experienced writers is to minimize both the lines and the words of the author. All unnecessary descriptions and phrases that do not carry any useful information, as well as unnecessary embellishments (this applies not only to dialogue). Of course, the final choice is up to the author. It is important that at the same time he does not change the sense of proportion.
Too long continuous dialogues are highly discouraged. This unnecessarily drags out the story. After all, it is understood that the characters are talking in real time, and the plot of the work as a whole must develop much faster. If a long dialogue is necessary, it should be diluted with a description of emotions actors and any related activities.
Phrases that do not carry information useful for the development of the plot can clog any dialogue. It should sound as natural as possible. It is highly not recommended to use complex sentences or those expressions that colloquial speech never meet (of course, if the author's intention does not imply the opposite).
How to test yourself
The easiest way to control the naturalness of the composed replicas is by reading the dialogue aloud. All the extra long pieces, along with pretentious words, will inevitably cut the ear. At the same time, it is much more difficult to check their presence with the eyes. This rule the same applies to any text, not just dialogue.
Another common mistake is the excess of attributive words or the monotony of their use. It should, if possible, remove the maximum of author's comments such as: he said, she answered, etc. Definitely, this should be done in cases where it is already clear which of the characters the replica belongs to.
Attributive verbs should not be repeated, their sameness hurts the ear. Sometimes you can replace them with phrases describing the actions of the characters, followed by a replica. The Russian language has huge amount synonyms of the verb said, painted in a variety of emotional shades.
Attribution should not be confused with body text. In the absence of an attributive (or a substitute) word, the dialogue turns into plain text and is formatted separately from the replica.
By adhering to the rules we have outlined, you can easily compose any dialogue.
And write direct speech with capital letter. At the end of direct speech with an interrogative or exclamation mark quotation marks are placed after it, and in the narrative, the quotation marks are closed and a period is put.
Examples: Andrey said: "I will play now."
Example. He muttered, "I'm very sleepy," and immediately fell asleep.
Example. The captain said: “The breeze would blow now ...” - and fixed his eyes on the sea.
The dialogue can be designed in one of the following ways: All remarks are written in one line, the author's words between them are missing. A dash separates each replica enclosed in quotation marks.
Example. For several minutes they walked in silence. Elizabeth asked, "How long will you be away?" - "Two months". - "Will you call me or write to me?" - "Oh sure!"
Each subsequent replica is written on a new line, preceded by a dash. Quotation marks are not used in this case.
Are you cold, Ekaterina? asked Ivan Petrovich.
Let's go to a cafe.
Formatting quotes:
The quotation is written according to one of the methods of direct speech.
Example. Belinsky believed: "Literature is the consciousness of the people, the color and fruit of its spiritual life."
Part of the quotation is not given, and its omission is marked with an ellipsis.
Example. Goncharov wrote: "All the words of Chatsky will spread ... and produce a storm."
Example. Belinsky notes that Pushkin has amazing ability"to make the most prosaic objects poetic."
Quote poetic text follows without quotes, observing lines and stanzas.
Sources:
- how is direct speech
- Basic Rules for Writing Dialogues
Indirect sentences help convey other people's thoughts on their own behalf. They contain the main essence of the words said by someone, easier in construction and punctuation. When replacing direct speech with indirect speech, it is important to pay attention to the purpose of conveying thoughts (message, question or motivation), use the appropriate means of connecting parts of the sentence, and follow the exact forms of using some words.
Instruction
In our language, other people's words can be transmitted in several ways. For this purpose, direct and indirect speech are most often used. Keeping the essence, these syntactic constructions express the content in different ways, are pronounced and formatted in writing.
When transmitting thoughts through direct speech, all the features of the utterance are preserved: the content remains unchanged, in oral speech the intonation is preserved, which is shown in the letter by the necessary punctuation marks. This is the most accurate way to convey other people's words.
Indirect speech, as a rule, contains the main essence of other people's thoughts, is reported not on behalf of the author, but the speaker without saving intonation features. AT writing is made without quotes in the form of a complex sentence.
When replacing direct speech with indirect speech, follow the main rules for constructing sentences, use forms accurately individual words. Sentences with someone else's speech represent two parts: the author and the transmitted speech. In sentences with direct speech, the place of the author's words is inconsistent: in front, in the middle or after the utterance. Indirect, as a rule, takes a position after the author's words and is subordinate clause. In order to properly cope with the task of replacing similar syntactic constructions, act according to a certain order.
First, determine the boundaries of the parts of the sentence with direct speech. The words of the author in a sentence with indirect speech almost always remain unchanged, they will represent main part complex sentence.
Next, pay attention to the view of the purpose of the utterance of the sentence that is part of direct speech (it will be subordinate). If in front of you declarative sentence, then the means of communication with the main will be the unions “what”, “as if”. For example, “Eyewitnesses claimed that (allegedly)
Hello! Proper writing of direct speech (PR) and dialogues allows you to increase the visibility of information and better convey the general meaning of what is written. In addition, elementary adherence to the rules of the Russian language can be appreciated by the target audience.
Question correct design in the text (PR) will not cause difficulties if you understand the series in time important points. First of all, it is worth understanding that between the concepts of direct and indirect speech(COP) there is a difference. The first repeats verbatim the original statements introduced into the story or the author's narration without change. individual character and stylistics (dialectal features, repetitions and pauses).
PR is introduced into the text without the use of conjunctions or pronouns, which greatly simplifies the use of CS.
ETC: The teacher suddenly remarked, "Time is up."
KS: The teacher noticed that the time was up.
In the text of the PR most often:
- written in quotation marks;
- stands out in a separate paragraph, starting with a dash.
Questions about how to correctly write direct speech in the text arise when its structure becomes more complicated. For example - interruptions by the words of the author.
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Starts or ends a sentence with PR
Direct speech at the beginning of a sentence must be enclosed in quotation marks, capturing question marks, exclamations and ellipsis. The point is taken out of quotes. The dash highlights the author's words and stands in front of them.
“The train has left, now I’m definitely going to be late!” - exclaimed the girl in dismay.
PR at the end of the sentence is distinguished instead of a comma and a dash by a colon, while the words of the author are written with a capital letter.
The girl said with chagrin: “I came too late - the train left, and you need to run to the bus!”.
Let's finish with the examples. Schematically, the rules can be represented as follows:
"PR (!?)" - a. "PR" - a.
A: "PR(!?..)". A: PR.
The author's words are included in the PR
“The train has left,” the girl thought sadly, “now I’ll definitely be late!”
If the beginning of the PR is a logically complete sentence, the author's words should be limited to a dot, and the final part should begin with a dash.
“Well, the train managed to leave,” the student thought sadly. “Now I definitely won’t have time to go to college!”
The conditional patterns are:
"PR, - a, - pr."
"PR, - a. - ETC".
PR is inscribed in the author's narrative
The man sadly thought: “The train has left, now I will definitely be late,” and quickly ran to the bus stop.
If the PR is at the beginning of the sentence, it is followed by a dash:
“The train has left, now I will definitely be late!” - thought the man, and hurried to the bus stop.
Conditional design schemes:
A: "PR", - a.
A: "PR (?! ...)" - a.
Rules for writing dialogues
In dialogues:
- quotes are not put;
- each of the replicas is wrapped on a new line and begins with a dash.
Dialogue example:
- Father has arrived!
- And now for a long time, - Yuri answered happily. - The expedition is over.
Often in one sentence, PR with a certain verb is used twice. This means that there must be a colon before terminating the PR.
“Father has arrived,” Vova said slowly, and suddenly cried out loudly: “Daddy, how long are you going to stay?”
If the replicas are short, it is allowed to fit them into one line using as separating mark dash:
- Son? Mom shouted. - It's you?
Having the knowledge described above, I think it will not be difficult to correctly write direct speech in texts in accordance with the rules of the Russian language. A schematic representation of the rules can be rewritten on a piece of paper and information can be used if necessary until it is firmly fixed in memory.
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