There is an opinion that self-confidence is something more than just knowledge and skills. Of course, this is not entirely true, but there is a grain of truth in this thought. A self-confident person finds it easier to get what he wants, while an insecure person is characterized by doubts and procrastination.

Every day, every hour and every minute we decide how we will behave. And if we do not do it consciously, then we will only react to the circumstances and requirements of other people. Confidence is necessary in order to know what you want and do everything. possible actions in order to get what you want.

If you don't feel confident, you automatically become insecure. It may seem that calmness and measuredness are what lies between confidence and uncertainty, but in fact they are just part of confidence.

Think of confidence as a kind of desire, on the way to which there is an obstacle - external or internal. Internal may be fear or doubt. External - lack of money or experience. But even in this case, we are still talking, rather, about internal obstacles. You see a goal but fear the imaginary pain you imagine and come up with dozens of reasons why you can't achieve it.

This article is a guide to confidence for anyone who wants to believe in themselves and get rid of their fears. Or at least start acting without looking back at them.

Self-esteem and self-confidence

Self-esteem is a person's idea of ​​the importance of his personality, self-assessment and own feelings and qualities, advantages and disadvantages. There are three levels of self-esteem: low, adequate and high.

With low self-esteem, a person tends to often criticize himself (and even when it is inappropriate), to perceive criticism painfully, to please others in order to increase his self-esteem.

High self-esteem is the opposite of low self-esteem. Often associated with the exaltation of oneself and one's merits, inadequate assessment self-importance etc. Inflated self-esteem, if it is fueled not only by imagination, but also by real qualities and successes, is not always a negative phenomenon. A person with high self-esteem can be both self-confident (which is bad) and driving (which is good). In the latter state, he believes in his own strength so much that he receives a fair amount of motivation and even good luck, due to which he succeeds in everything, no matter what he undertakes.

Adequate self-esteem is an ideal state for professionals in their field, people who are not outrageous and who know their own worth. With this level of self-esteem, a person can learn from their mistakes, take criticism normally, and gradually move towards success.

Considering the above, it should be understood that adequate self-esteem- this is good, but the appropriate inflated self-esteem is also very helpful. Miracles happen when there is a balance between the two.

Factors that affect self-confidence

Factors that affect our self-esteem and self-confidence are also internal and external. But since they often intersect and form each other, we will consider them together.

People around

Successful, self-confident people avoid pessimists or those who constantly doubt. They, like no one else, understand that the environment affects how a person thinks. So rule number one: Surround yourself with confident people.

Lack of sleep and malnutrition

It is hard to imagine a self-confident rock man who eats poorly and does not pay attention to his health. You can do self-hypnosis as much as you like, but if the body fails you, then this will also affect.

A person who has not slept well cannot be self-confident for the reason that this requires great strength will. Willpower is an energy that must be replenished through sleep and rest.

Willpower Level

If you've ever struggled with yourself getting rid of bad habit or instilling a good one, and losing, then know that in 50% of cases this was due to a lack of willpower. It is needed in order to wake up in the morning, asking yourself the question “How confident am I in myself?” and having received the answer “Not at all sure”, you could immediately pull yourself together and start implementing the recommendations (which will be discussed later).

It turns out a vicious circle. You cannot become confident because you are not sure of yourself. Willpower training will help you get out of the vicious circle. You can instantly cheer up, feel faith in your strength, if you really want it. It's like when you lie exhausted on the bed after work, and then you get an invitation to a cool party and the forces instantly appear. The thing is, they never disappeared.

Willpower allows access to inner strength. You just have to want.

Competence/confidence loop

Psychologists have long noticed one interesting pattern. How more people engaged in any activity, the more confident it becomes. Two conclusions follow from this: good and not very good. The good thing is that confidence will come if you start gaining experience and leveling up. professional level. Not very good - in that it will take time.

But in this case we are talking about the purest self-confidence. The one that becomes second nature to you.

Level of fear and doubt

Take good care of yourself. The next time you feel insecure, listen to exactly how you feel. Most likely, it will be fear or doubt. Therefore, the first step is the ability to recognize them and honestly admit to yourself that you are afraid or doubtful.

Fear and doubt are accompanied by the same thoughts or questions. For example:

• What if they refuse me?
• What if I don't succeed?
• I can not.
• Anything but this.

We are afraid of pain, often far-fetched. Ask yourself other questions, preferably in writing. Analyze why you think the way you do. Is everything really that bad?

Inner voice

What words do you say to yourself immediately after waking up? What words do you say to yourself when you go to bed? What words do you say to yourself when faced with difficulties?

stress and pressure

Failing to deal with stress and pressure can kill confidence. It is important not only to deal with them, but also to notice them in time. If it's hard to notice, then plan ahead for a mini-vacation. You can't go wrong with such things - tension will still arise.

How to increase self-confidence

With all of the above in mind, let's get down to the ways in which it will be possible to develop self-confidence.

get ready. You can rely on impromptu only in unforeseen situations, in everything else you must carefully prepare. The speaker must study his speech and work out gestures, but at the same time he must learn the mass additional information- just to increase the level of competence. A businessman must not only know how to create a company, but also understand the characteristics of the product, marketing, and sales. Confidence comes from preparation and knowing that you know enough.

Use correct language body. Google "Power Pose", go to the pictures section and practice some power poses. If some of them seem too pretentious to you, do the minimum - do not stoop, look directly into the eyes of the interlocutor, relax your body.

Pay attention to the voice. When you mumble or speak insecurely, then between you and the interlocutor there is a conversation on an intuitive level: you know that he knows that you are not confident in yourself. Which makes you even more uncomfortable. Don't be loud or quiet, don't chatter, control your voice.

develop optimism and positive thinking . This means that you must develop a certain attitude towards your failures and mistakes. Once failure stops worrying you, half the job is done. Be persistent.

Vicarial teaching. It is observing the achievements of others. This includes both working with successful people, masters of their craft, and reading biographies. Don't skimp on any of these methods. This way you can see how people cope with the difficulties that you also face.

verbal persuasion. Oddly enough, even the banal thought “Come on, you can do it” is much more effective than a train of thought that inspires fear. If you take the time to talk to yourself for at least a few minutes, the effect will be even stronger. At the same time, it is important to understand that such phrases should become a habit, and not be used occasionally.

Raise emotional intellect . A confident person will never experience inappropriate situations. He is in complete control of what he feels and does not allow negative and destructive emotions to take him by surprise.

Action, action, action. Pull yourself together and start doing something. It doesn't really matter how valuable these actions are. You can water the plants in the house and feel a huge surge of strength and energy. Have you noticed that when you do nothing, you get even more tired? When we are not confident in ourselves, we cannot get down to business and bring at least something to the end. You need things done, you need to show yourself that you can do it.

Know yourself. Before going into battle, a wise general carefully examines his enemy. You cannot defeat the enemy without knowing him. In developing your self-confidence main enemy- it's you yourself. Start listening to your thoughts. Start writing a journal about what you think, analyze the causes of negative thoughts. And then think about the good things about yourself, about what you can do better than many people, about what you like. Start reflecting on your limitations and whether they are real. .

Focus on problem solving. If you are a complainer or problem-focused, change your focus. Focusing on solutions instead of problems is one of the best things you can do for confidence.

clear away workplace . It may seem insignificant, but just do it. Uncertainty comes from confusion, don't add it to your life even on a physical level.

Features of the confidence of men and women

For men, self-confidence is the ability to act, to perform confident and measured actions, to achieve mastery in something. Men are motivated by the achievement of goals, success, it is important for them to measure it concretely.

Women increase self-confidence with the help of self-esteem, as well as an inner worldview. If it is sometimes enough for men to behave confidently and receive a surge of strength through actions and deeds, then for women it all starts from the inside.

A woman will not be able to feel confident in herself if she does not feel comfortable in the situation. Having found peace inside, she is able to believe in herself. At the same time, it is of great importance for women external factors, which are then comprehended internally: her appearance, gait, compliments received.

Talking about self-esteem as the main thing acting person female confidence in itself, it is worth saying that it is formed from many factors: addiction, social anxiety, general anxiety, shame, depression, inferiority, helplessness, perfectionism (and its consequences - procrastination).

There are several ways you can improve your self-esteem:

• Change history. We all have a self-image that shapes our self-perception and on which our core image is based. If we want to change it, we must understand where it comes from. This is ours personal opinion? Sometimes automatic negative thoughts, such as "you're fat" or "you're lazy" can be repeated in the mind so often that a person begins to believe that they are true, even if they are not. But what do you really want to believe? Repeat this to yourself every day.
• Be aware. We cannot change something until we admit that it needs to be changed. Simply by becoming aware of our negative self-regulation, we begin to distance ourselves from the feelings it evokes. This allows you to identify with them in lesser degree. But without this awareness, we can easily fall into the trap of believing in our limited potential, and as meditation teacher Allan Lokos burns, “Don't believe everything you think. Thoughts are just thoughts."
• Set up a new channel. Albert Einstein once said: “We are all geniuses. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, then it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.” We all have strengths and weak sides. Someone can be a brilliant musician but a terrible cook. No single quality defines your core value. Recognize what your strengths are. Ask yourself: “Have you ever been in a situation in your life where my self-esteem went up? What was/was I doing at that moment?
• Remember that you are not a product of circumstances.. By accepting your imperfection, you create the potential for growth. With this knowledge, one can grow freely and not be afraid of failures that do not change the core value.

What books can you read

To develop self-confidence and make it a personality trait, you need to work hard on yourself. To do this, you need to not only follow these tips every day, but also analyze yourself, do not stop improving, read books on this topic. Here is some of them:

• Dale Carnegie How to Build Self-Confidence and Influence People by Speaking in Public.
• Robert Anthony "Secrets of Self-Confidence".
• Alice Muir self-confidence. A book to work on yourself.
• Amy Cuddy Presence of Spirit.
• Malcolm Gladwell "David and Goliath"

We can also recommend you videos with Tony Robbins, which you can find on YouTube: pay attention to what he says, how he speaks and how he behaves. Robbins can be a great role model for many who want to be confident.

We wish you good luck!

About how much self-confidence is necessary for each person, it is not even worth talking about. This feature opens up opportunities for us to further development makes it easier to communicate with other people. Developing self-confidence can and should be done. Let's look at the main ways of how this can be done.

Developing confidence in general is difficult, but you need to distinguish between the main aspects of confidence and work on them as a whole. So, confidence has the following main components:

• appearance;
• self-esteem;
• behavior and speech;
• thoughts, desires and emotions;
• goals.

Work with appearance

Our appearance is what forms the first impression of us. Scientists have long determined that it takes only three seconds to establish contact. This time is enough to get general idea about a human. Then it will be very difficult to change your mind about yourself. That is why you should take care of your appearance.

If we put a lot of effort and effort into our appearance, working on the body - we are improving. Our appearance is transformed into better side thereby boosting our self-esteem and self-confidence. When we like what we see in the mirror, we gain confidence. Approaching your ideal, the main thing is not to become self-confident.

There are certain techniques for dealing with your appearance, if only external transformation is not enough for you. Making an affirmation can help a lot. it short phrase to repeat to yourself required amount times during the day. The meaning of the phrase should be something like this: "I have Beautiful face and slender figure. Many men like me" or "I am sure that my appearance is attractive and special." Believe me, it really helps to accept yourself.

The relationship between self-esteem and self-confidence

Low self-esteem does not allow self-confidence to form. In turn, overestimated self-esteem will contribute to the formation of self-confidence, which is also undesirable. There are two characteristics of self-esteem that are necessary for the formation of confidence: adequacy and stability.

The adequacy of self-esteem is the correspondence of ideas about oneself real situation of things. Stability - the constancy of ideas about oneself, regardless of external influences. To form stability, we need self-confidence, but it is impossible without normal self-esteem. It turns out a vicious circle that needs to be broken as soon as possible.

Affirmations also work effectively with self-esteem. Also, you can try the following methodology: take a sheet of paper, write in the column on the left all your advantages, and on the right - your shortcomings. Most likely, the right column turned out to be twice as long as the left one. Notice if you have duplicate qualities in both columns. For example, frugality is marked on the left side, and stinginess is marked on the right. In this case, it is worth determining what is more significant for you and leaving this trait in only one column. Now let's try to look at the right column in a different way. It is necessary to find a resource in every shortcoming. For example, “I am not tall” change “I will look beautiful next to a man of any height” or “I can’t hold back tears” and replace it with “I can easily show emotions.” Do this with all the traits, be sure to rephrase each flaw and find a resource in it, without exceptions.

Confidence in behavior and speech

Behavior is primarily how our body looks when we do something. To look confident, you need to move confidently, keep your posture, speak loudly and clearly.

Surely you paid attention to, in every movement of which confidence is read. It is impossible not to pay attention to them. Let's think about what they said about confidence? Most likely, a relaxed posture, but at the same time a beautiful posture, an average pace of movements and the ability to keep interest in oneself.

Behavior is also certain principles. For example, a self-confident person will never enter into a primitive conflict, will not prove anything to someone who does not need it, and will not show disrespect to others.

If a confident person has something to say, he speaks. And he does it loudly, clearly and distinctly. You need to work on your speech. Confidence in public speaking only comes with experience. You need to put yourself more often in conditions where you need to speak in front of an audience and in time you will have no choice but to learn how to speak. But for many there is a problem even in interpersonal communication. It is worth starting, of course, with the extension vocabulary if there is a problem with it.

There are two great ways to learn to be more relaxed in speech. First, start by keeping up a conversation with the people who owe you the same love: taxi drivers, waiters, and so on. For them, talking to customers is easy, and for you, it's a valuable experience to have a conversation with a stranger.

Secondly, learn to pronounce monologues. Choose once a day random item eg: chair, plate, apple, TV. Talk about this subject to yourself for 10 minutes non-stop. It does not matter that at first it will be a crazy set of words. Over time, your oratory skills will improve and you will be able to talk about ordinary marshmallows in such a way that everyone will go to buy it.

Thoughts, emotions, desires and goals

An integral part of personality is its intellectual sphere. To be sure, you just need a certain level of erudition. Without this, it is impossible to maintain a conversation, and awkwardness in a conversation already gives rise to uncertainty. Thoughts reflect our essence. Based on what we say, we are evaluated as an intelligent or narrow-minded person.

Many have heard from relatives, colleagues or friends such words: "All you need is more determination." And really: how to develop self-confidence, what to do to feel comfortable in any environment? It is a very valuable quality. Being decisive, you can feel calm in any company. Having firmness in character, one will be able to know oneself and reasonably choose the path for development.

General

But probably, main value lack of self-doubt that it makes a person happy. Relying on oneself, a person more easily endures the blows of fate, realistically represents all aspects of an event.

Building toughness takes work, and it can be achieved no matter how confident you are right now. Many people can feel faith in themselves, but not express it, or, conversely, show determination, but inside they are afraid.

Therefore, for most people on the planet, developing self-confidence is not an easy task. We need to understand how we think and take into account the behavior of others.

Self-confidence includes several aspects:

• self-knowledge;
• determination;
• courage;
• confident look;
• overcoming stress;
• the ability to insist on one's own;
• formation of incentive motives.

Before dealing with the problem of self-doubt, consider the causes of its development.

One of the most common causes of loss of self-confidence is unsuccessful experience. Many people, after not the best attempts to do something, give up, which subsequently leads to even greater disappointment.

Another important reason is the wrong parenting. When they criticize, compare or underestimate their child, this also leads to the fading of self-confidence.

In adolescence and adulthood, these reasons can become the basis for many fears, such as:

1. to be rejected or isolated;
2. loss of individuality;
3. loss of control;
4. be incompetent.

Understanding your fears, problems, the causes of self-doubt is the key to solving the problem and the first step for.

The ability to understand oneself is the main feature of self-confident people. It helps to realize how individual each person is, and to understand how to develop a sense of confidence in yourself.

Many psychologists have studied the relationship various factors to build self-confidence. The results of research prove that a more destructive attitude towards people does not increase self-confidence, but only reduces it. This behavior is very typical for teenagers.

However, the education system does not take into account what level of self-esteem is characteristic of adolescents. But it is this age that is the most critical in the human psyche, and self-confidence affects the future. mental development person. Appointments in modern systems training is very ineffective, and in most cases, does not exist at all.

Consider a few useful tips psychologists who will help to cope with self-doubt and increase self-esteem. These practical advice also reveal the features of the development of self-esteem.

• Tip #1
  • Spreading self-confidence. Paradoxical as it may sound, but great people did just that. Through the transfer of confidence, you can train it in action. In addition, passing on this ability by teaching others is very important. Watching the development of others, human nature is more deeply known, and, consequently, the person himself. And the knowledge of a person, as mentioned earlier, is the key to the question of how to develop determination and self-confidence.
• Tip #2
  • Allow yourself a flexible framework and give the opportunity to choose. You need to understand that we live in a world of uncertainty, dynamism and constant change. To be decisive and confident does not mean to follow some rigidly defined path. Rather, confidence is based on knowing the possibilities, the options, and the scope in which they can be used.
• Tip #3
  • Rethink your life attitudes. If children's complexes became the cause of uncertainty, then you need to reconsider some views on life: your behavior in a given situation. Perhaps these false rules were instilled for someone's benefit.
• Tip #4
  • Set goals. When people are afraid to engage in self-confidence building, they may disguise it behind various vague ideas and intentions. In this case, you should clearly set a goal and follow it every day in small steps.
• Tip #5
  • Praise yourself. Many do not know how to criticize themselves correctly, it is because of this that self-esteem falls. But apart from bad criticism, you must definitely use and good. It will cheer you up, and the person in good mood, usually inspired, and will develop their skills. No wonder there is a proverb "education with a stick and a carrot."

Self Confidence Exercises

Many people wonder: how to develop courage and. After all, it is brave people achieve great success in life. Let's look at a few exercises that will help develop these qualities.

Exercise 1

To cultivate self-respect, you need to create a "form of achievements" that we are proud of. It is necessary to write several columns on it:

• My biggest achievement……
• My second major achievement……
• My third significant achievement…….
• I am great at…..
• I am very good at…..
• I am good enough at…..

There is no need to be modest here, and it is worth filling out what you are proud of. Then read carefully and memorize. And next time, when confidence is shaken, remember them, it will inspire and guide you to achieve your goal.

Exercise #2

It consists in playing the scene of getting rid of a bad experience. To do this, on a piece of paper you need to write down all the feelings that you experienced during this failure, you can also draw. Then you just need to tear the paper into pieces and throw it away or burn it. Despite the symbolism and simplicity of the ritual, psychologically it helps to cope with the problem.

Exercise #3

This exercise will help you work through the situation you might be in. So, we take any situation from life, invented or already happened, or which will be. Next, we play all the scenes in the head or on a piece of paper in three versions:

1. Where you are completely confident.
2. where you are more or less sure.
3. Where there is no certainty.

Think about how the situations will differ, what the result will be. Similar analysis allows you to think about how to behave in a given situation.

conclusions

In conclusion, it must be said that being confident means having great opportunities to achieve your goals. And then many dreams will come true, you will not have fears, your consciousness will become more flexible, and stress will completely disappear from life.

All this is available to everyone, if you work on yourself daily, the result will not be long in coming. Develop, because confidence is an invaluable quality that helps to live full life and not be someone's shadow.

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But there is no question how

I need to win the fight

S. Shnurov "Personal number"

I have always been interested in methods of developing self-confidence, in my own, so to speak, abilities. And I managed to find some really effective and original "methods" for developing this very self-confidence.

• To believe in yourself is just to believe, because faith, by definition, does not need any proof at all. But how to learn it? How to take and just believe in yourself? (Some people have it. Only this, as you can see, is a road to nowhere.) It also turns out to be somehow flawed, and maybe this is what casts doubt on all these attempts to “develop self-confidence”, without a doubt, without looking at yourself with different parties such a "development" may not be
• Self-hypnosis - self-confidence can be developed by self-hypnosis. And there is an excellent book on this subject. psychological preparation in sports - - the development of almost any qualities - self-hypnosis. (Accordingly, the answer to the question of the previous paragraph is self-hypnosis. A very interesting, in fact, self-hypnosis technique that really works, and which can help in developing self-confidence.)
• Another interesting technique for developing self-confidence was outlined in Dale Carnegie called "How to develop self-confidence and influence people by speaking in public." (An old and now classic book is about preparing for public speaking. It doesn’t matter - because there are interesting techniques for developing self-confidence - for public speaking.)
• And in continuation - I immediately remembered another book by Dale Carnegie "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" - confidence and anxiety are actually quite closely related - accordingly, getting rid of anxiety can significantly increase the level of self-confidence.

Of these books, the most memorable is the following method, or rather a technique for developing courage and self-confidence:

“It seems that action follows feeling, but in fact action and feeling are combined: by directing action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly control the feeling that is not under this control. So, an excellent conscious way to gain cheerfulness, if your original cheerfulness is lost, is to sit with a cheerful look, act and speak as if you are already imbued with cheerfulness. If this behavior does not make you feel cheerful, then nothing else will help you in this case.

Therefore, in order to feel courageous, act as if you are really brave, strain all your will for this purpose, and the attack of fear will in all probability be replaced by a surge of courage.

How did Teddy Roosevelt develop his characteristic courage and composure? Was he naturally endowed with a bold, daring spirit? Not at all. “Because as a child I was rather sickly and clumsy,” he admits in his Autobiography, “in my youth I was at first nervous and did not believe in my prowess. I had to stubbornly and painfully exercise not only the body, but also the soul and spirit.

Luckily, he told us how he achieved this transformation. “As a child,” he writes, “an episode from one of Marryat’s books made a strong impression on me. There, the captain of a small English warship explains to the hero how to become fearless. He says that at first almost every person experiences fear when entering a battle, but one must control oneself so as to behave as if there is nothing to be afraid of. After a while, the goal is reached, and a person really becomes fearless only because he keeps himself fearless (I paraphrase this in my own words, and not in Marryat's way).

began to follow this theory. In the beginning, I was afraid of a whole range of things, from grizzly bears to naughty horses and thugs. But I behaved as if I was not afraid, and gradually I really stopped being afraid. Most people can do the same if they want to.” And you, if you want, can achieve the same. "In the war," said Marshal Foch, the best way defense is offensive." So go on the offensive against your fears! Go towards them, fight them, defeat them with courage at every opportunity!

Imagine you are a messenger who has to deliver a certain message. We do not pay for the messenger special attention, we are interested in the content of the telegram. The whole point is in the message. Focus your attention on it. Keep it in your heart. Know him like the back of your hand. Believe in him. And then speak with conviction and determination. Do this, and ten to one chances that you will soon become the master of the situation and control yourself.

• A somewhat mystical method of self-development from the American parapsychologist Jose Silva, the founder of the so-called "Silva Method" - developed quite interesting technique"visualization", despite some "mysticism" this technique really works - to a certain extent, of course. (The most interesting and informative book by Jose Silva is, of course, "The Art of Trading Using the Silva Method" - parapsychological preparation for, which, in principle, involve quite serious attitude to develop self-confidence.
• Of course, one cannot find direct advice and instructions or methods there, but there (mainly in the first four books), a very interesting principle attitude to life and to the world, which not only can help in the development of self-confidence, it can help change the very attitude towards such things. (It has now become fashionable and rather boring all sorts of so-called "life hacks" - often primitive advice for all occasions - wandering from site to site. "How ..." "Ten ways how ..." "Twenty ways how .. ." And so on and so forth. Simple Solutions — difficult questions, no more.)

Also a lot of cool, inspiring ones can be found in the works of Carlos Castaneda (again, mostly in books):

I told you many times: to be a warrior is the most effective method live. A warrior doubts and thinks before making a decision. But when it is accepted, he acts without being distracted by doubts, fears and hesitation. There are still millions of decisions ahead, each of which is waiting in the wings. This is the way of the warrior.

• Practice is, of course, the most main method in the matter of "development of self-confidence" - only close contact with the surrounding reality, makes it possible, first of all, simply to understand one's own own forces, their faith and their doubts, and then already serve as the basis for the maximum effective development, this very, "self-confidence"

(As far as I understood, for example, books and everything that is written in them, all these methods and reasoning, theories and statements, according to at least, to the world in which I live, have a rather insignificant relation - everything is different in this real world. And so knowledge real conditions and real life challenges can greatly help in the development of this confidence, often even without all these "training materials" and "methods", as a rule, not only expressing only the personal attitude of the author, but also demonstrating all sorts of invented or greatly exaggerated obstacles and problems , again having nothing to do with reality. Moreover, life can present such challenges and create such situations or problems or life circumstances which will require overcoming in any case - when the very desire of a person whether to overcome these obstacles or not to overcome - is not taken into account in any way. Everything is needed, no matter what. And then the very method of developing self-confidence is quite capable of moving to a new, simply fantastic level. You just need to be able to, because not only giving up, but simply losing is impossible in any case. Not to mention the presence or absence of "self-confidence" in this moment. And then you probably get used to it and that's all.)

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Confidence is one of the most important factors, on which almost everything depends - what is, was and will be in your life. I will say again: a lot depends on confidence. After all, if you observe carefully, you will notice that self-confident individuals live much better and richer than other insecure individuals. Why this happens, I will talk about this below, and also answer the question - How to develop self-confidence?

Of course, everything successful people very self-confident people, and all - not confident people. And if you want to belong to the first group - you need to start developing self-confidence. Luckily prepared for you. Plus, you can listen. All this will be very useful for those who strongly want to develop self-confidence.

Now let's look at the characteristics of a confident person and an insecure person.

A confident person has:

An insecure person has:

I can write for a long time, but you yourself know everything. There are people who have both the traits of an insecure and confident person at the same time. For example, the ability to self and the tendency to blame others for their failures. I think you understand who owns the world.

The worst thing is that insecure people don't act. They always doubt, set themselves up for defeat, are constantly afraid of something (for example, to approach and get acquainted), they do not know how to do things. Insecure people do not show themselves, which is why they become invisible to others and the whole world. Therefore, their life becomes monotonous and not interesting. You yourself can notice this. For example, in some team there is always a person who seems to be there, and at the same time he is not. He sits somewhere on the sidelines and is silent. He is like a shadow - visible and invisible.

Self-confident people because of their activity, sociability are always in full view. They always pay attention, because it is simply impossible not to notice them. Therefore, new opportunities open up for them. They can offer something, or invite them somewhere. They live . And all because they know how to take the first steps, and in return, people and herself Life is going towards them. That's why developing self-confidence is a must.

How to develop self-confidence?

So, down with the water, it's time to learn how to develop self-confidence. Just don't think it will be very easy. After all, in order to develop self-confidence, you will constantly have to overcome your fears. This is how confidence is built. The main thing is to act gradually. Like kittens. When they are born, they cannot do anything. Later, they begin to walk around the place where they were born (for example, under the bed). Then they crawl out of this place and walk, say, all over the room, then all over the apartment, then all over the garden, then all over the city, and then all over Russia (exaggerated). In short, start small.

The first thing you can do is . As I said, insecure people do not communicate much, because they are afraid of what they themselves have invented. You also need to start slowly communicating with your surroundings. I understand that it is scary to take such a step, but then you will be very pleased after communication. Firstly, you overcame fear, and secondly, you spoke to interesting person and enjoy the conversation. By taking these steps, you will begin to develop self-confidence over and over again. Over time, you will become comfortable approaching people and starting a conversation with them.

The second thing that helps develop self-confidence is doing something new. Anything new usually makes a person feel uncomfortable (insecure). Suppose a person decides to take up fencing. He'll have to face what he's never done, plus new team, new people, and you also need to fight with swords with them. All this . Another example of leaving the comfort zone is when a person moves to another city. He is very afraid, because he does not know anything about the new place of residence, and because of this, he simply becomes scared. However Stepping out of your comfort zone builds confidence. Yes, leaving the comfort zone is accompanied by fears and doubts that need to be overcome again. But, defeating your fears and doubts, yours, and with it your confidence. Start doing something out of the ordinary for you.

Third - finally become a determined person. This main feature successful and confident people. They even when they are told: don't do it, you won't succeed, it's a stupid idea. Start taking risks. Yes, you may fail, but it's better than doing nothing. Many say that they lower a person's self-esteem. In fact, it all depends on the attitude to failure. For some people, failures give strength and motivation to act even more. Hence the confidence. That's why do not be afraid to take risks, make decisions and act quickly. This pattern of behavior is guaranteed to build confidence.

The fourth way is a metaphysical exercise (). You need thirty minutes a day to introduce yourself confident person. Many will say that contemplation alone will not achieve anything, but they are far from being right. When you dive to the alpha level, by this very contemplation you can easily change the model of your behavior. Present yourself as a confident person as often as possible.

The second mega super reception is public performance . You can enroll in a school oratory, and there you will be given such an opportunity. Yes, it will be scary, but that's exactly what we need. After a dozen performances, you will feel your strength. But this is for those who really want to build their confidence on high level. Why do I say so? Because even confident people, not everyone will be able to complete these two mega ways (constant acquaintance with the opposite sex and public speaking).

Perhaps I answered the question how to develop self confidence. Start small - and communicate. After that, it will be easier for you to move on to more complex and scary methods. If you have something to add, write in the comments. Expressing your opinion also helps to become more confident.

How to develop self-confidence

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