In our Everyday life conflict situations occur quite frequently. Distinguish the following types conflicts: interpersonal, intergroup, between an individual and a group, internal.

So, let's talk about ways to resolve conflict situations.

What is the reaction to conflict?

1. As a rule, people try by any means to get away from the conflict situation, or not to notice it at all. In this case, the unresolved conflict seems to “hang” in the air, escalating the situation and negatively affecting the psyche of others. This situation usually leads to more conflict.

2. It often happens that when a conflict situation arises, people begin to behave aggressively. They take responsibility for what is happening from themselves, and blame the other person for everything. Such a situation can hardly be called a conflict. Most likely, this is just a great occasion to express your negative attitude to what is happening. The conflict itself is not resolved, but, on the contrary, the situation is only aggravated. Of course, all this leads to the growth of contradictions.

3. This pattern of behavior is not as common as the previous two. It involves the use of force to defeat the enemy. It is usually used only by those people who love conflicts. It gives them pleasure to participate in all kinds of proceedings. A conflict situation for them is a kind of sports competition. It allows them to show themselves in a more favorable light. The conflict, however, remains unresolved.

It happens that the same model of behavior is used by those people who, for some reason, are very beneficial to the conflict itself. They go to any lengths to untie him, while declaring that they are ready to compromise. But, in reality, it is not!

The best way to resolve conflict

In principle, it is quite easy to successfully resolve a conflict situation. To do this, it is necessary for all parties to the conflict to sit down at the negotiating table, to honestly and openly discuss all controversial points and find a solution that suits everyone. Unfortunately, this is not the case for everyone and not always!

Only on your behavior in a conflict situation will depend on how events will develop in the future. If you do not like to quarrel, and for the sake of peace of mind make any concessions, then be prepared for the fact that soon, they will simply cease to reckon with you! If, on the contrary, you defend only your own interests, and for this you are ready to use force, then most likely your relationship, even with very close people, will soon be destroyed forever.

How to behave in a conflict situation

In any conflict situation, it is very important to remain calm! In no case do not let emotions prevail over you. Only in this way, you can realistically assess the situation and take control of it. And then you can do the following:

Conflict mitigation

Recognize the arguments of your opponent as fair if you see that he is very angry and behaves aggressively. If the person is right and his anger is well founded, then you can tell him the following: "Yes, you are absolutely right, I should have called you last night, as promised." If you are accused unfairly, then here you should recognize the fact that you have different attitudes towards the same things. By agreeing with your opponent, you by no means compromise your own principles! You just make it clear to the person that you accept his position and respect his opinion. Make a small concession at the beginning in order to win later!

Get involved

Try to look at the situation through the eyes of your opponent, put yourself in his place. Let the person feel that you are genuinely trying to understand their point of view and feelings. At the same time, you should not transfer your emotional condition on another person. Don't tell him, "Now you're angry and upset." But, you can guess how your opponent feels at this moment. For example, you could say the following to him: “I think you are now feeling annoyed and angry about this situation. Is not it?".

Be attentive to the person

Ask the person questions about what they think and feel. For example, you might ask, "What else would you like to talk to me about?" It is important to do this sincerely, from the bottom of your heart. Only in this case, a person will be able to trust you and tell you about what is happening to him. If you start talking to him about yourself and your feelings, then it’s better to use the pronoun “I” and not “You”. For example, you could say something like, "I'm very upset that this happened." Agree, such a phrase sounds much better than: "You disappointed me."

Treat the person with respect

Even if your opponent is very angry with you, treat him with respect. You can tell him the following: “I respect you for bringing this topic up” or “I am amazed at your courage.”

Action Plan for Conflict Resolution

• Identify the problem and discuss it together. Find the cause of the conflict. Let each of you express your opinion on this issue.
• Decide what suits both of you, and what you would like to get in the end. Find and write down all possible, even if not real, solutions to the problem.
• Check out the entire list possible solutions. Identify all positive and negative points each of them. Choose from the list best option for your situation.
• Specify all the details of the implementation of the contract, as well as your actions in case of unforeseen situations.
• Act according to your decision.

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Conflicts are born everywhere: at home, at work, on the street. Knowledge, how to resolve conflicts and how to deal with them and get out of the conflict in good mood will help you raise the quality of your life, at the same time your nerves will be in order.

When conflict arises

If there is a conflict, you need to remember that there are always two involved. And regardless of the number of participants, both sides are to blame. Even if it seems to you that the other side is completely wrong, you will have to believe that the one who subconsciously desires this is always drawn into the conflict.

So, if you still failed to make sure that an ordinary dispute does not escalate into a conflict, then let's Let's try to resolve the conflict:

1. Take the first step

The more stubborn is the one who is more stubborn. Quarrels, screams, negative emotions - all this destroys you and your interlocutor, all the more it destroys physical level, destroying nervous system not to mention psychological level. If a person screams, it is always only out of fear. This cannot be stopped unless one of the parties takes the first step. Do it you. In no case will this mean that you are weaker or have given in. On the contrary, it will show how strong you are and strive for self-control. strong man it is impossible to piss him off, there is nothing to hook him on, because he is confident in himself. But this confidence, it is not born out of nothing, it can be learned and developed just in such situations, in practice.

2. Stop blaming

When you're trying to smooth over a conflict, don't get personal. Even if you decide to reconcile, even if you lower your tone, but still continue to communicate in a negative way, the conflict will not resolve it. First of all, focus on good qualities your partner/spouse/interlocutor. Tell him about it, it always instantly resets the negative. But remember that this should not be flattery, but sincere thoughts about the other person. Surely you have a couple of thoughts on what you like the interlocutor. Share it and stop accusing a person of all mortal sins. Best Tactic is as follows: a decrease in tone - a desire to get out of the conflict and a public announcement of this - a compliment to the opponent (it turns out that he is not so bad) - an explanation of his feelings.

You must understand the difference between explaining your feelings and making claims. The latter are always spoken in a negative way with notes of accusations against the other. When you share your feelings, you are trying to explain to the other what he cannot understand. But in a state of non-conflict, you will be heard. When a conflict occurs, everyone hears only himself, and when people go to meet each other, they express a desire to understand the other.

3. Sorry

It happens that you were heard, understood, accepted, asked for forgiveness for a mistake. And you felt inner relief that you got out of the conflict. But take one more step for conflict resolution- Ask for forgiveness. It doesn’t matter who was initially to blame, you took part in a quarrel, which means that in any case you spoiled the other’s nerves. Sorry about that. You will get rid of a large negative load and put a bullet in the problem, and the relationship will only benefit from this. If it so happened that it was you who was the culprit of the conflict and decided to apologize, and the other did not respond with an apology in response, then do not worry about it. They just aren't ready yet.

Remember that all our problems are due to our own fears and self-doubt, which, by the way, can be easily overcome, and not because everyone around is evil.

When you find yourself embroiled in a conflict, it is very difficult to control yourself. Emotions can run high, especially if you've never learned to manage them. But ask yourself the question: what is more important to me - to prove my case or to maintain a relationship? There is no need to pretend to be a victim and smooth out the problem by infringing on one's rights, but there is no need to infringe on the rights of another. Get out of the conflict with dignity, understanding for yourself something new from resolved conflict. After all, that's what conflicts are for.

To paraphrase famous poems Vadim Shefner, then the following will come out: “You don’t choose a job, you live and die on it.” In times of a society based on competition, you can move from one, but such a voyage is still not endless.

Since the work team is selected spontaneously, people with personal taste preferences and value settings. The latter are in conflict with each other, which gives rise to conflicts at work. Regardless of whether a single person likes the state of war or not, it affects labor productivity in a negative way. The microclimate among employees in general is extremely important. Therefore, leaders organize trainings for group cohesion. But psychological techniques are meaningless if there are conflicts at work that have not been resolved and resolved.

A conflict is a contradiction between the interests, beliefs, values ​​and needs of two parties.

Types of conflicts at work

1. Between person and person is the most common type of conflict at work. It is difficult to find a monolithic team. Interpersonal clashes act as a filter for the selection of personnel. Two people can dislike each other because of contradictory friend of worldviews, political predilections, but more often, people disagree in their ideas about how to work. If a dispute arises between a superior and a subordinate, then the positions are clear. The first believes: and not working hard enough, and the second believes: If we are talking about horizontal conflict (between colleagues), then the reason is competition or personal hostility. True, sometimes people argue because they have different ideas about the degree of cleanliness of the workplace, if they share it.
2. Between the individual and the group. In the role of "personality" is the newly arrived boss, and in the role of the group - the collective of the enterprise. The reasons in each case are different, but more often the confrontation arises from the fact that "a new broom sweeps in a new way." Another story is when a newly arrived employee manages not to win over his colleagues. In this case, if it is not possible to establish contact, then the beginner quickly leaves the game. Nobody can in hell. If the person strong-willed and he needs a job, then he is able to turn the tide and change the attitude of the team towards himself, however, this is a painstaking and stressful process.
3. Between groups within a group. When the microclimate in the company is healthy, the team is relatively monolithic. It has no cracks. It is clear that the struggle and , but this does not affect the work, and conflicts do not arise. An indicator of the unhealthy state of the team is the fragmentation into separate warring (according to professional or ideological characteristics) groups.

These are the types of conflicts at work, and now we will pay attention to those that are more common than others.

If there is a conflict with a colleague at work, what should I do?

First brief classification"colleagues-pests" and methods of dealing with them. So:

• “A lover of talk or a brawler” is a boring type that distracts other people from their professional duties. In each office "work" people - "passengers". They're leaving the number. They are not interested in work. Such subjects in their activities primarily love wages. Such colleagues feel at work tolerably only two days a month - during the issuance of advance payments and salaries. The rest of the time they suffer from and talk a lot to ease their pain from. Only one flaw worries those around in this type of worker: him.
• - harmful type. At work, as in the world, there are people who are very annoying. And they try to knock the rider out of the saddle and intrigue. A person comes to the team, does not yet know the alignment of forces and asks such a person to help, and he takes and sets him up.
• “An oppositionist or a sycophant of the leadership” is a dangerous type (“spy” or “informer”). Two facets of one phenomenon. Such an employee either loves or dislikes the boss and informs each colleague about it.

Ways to deal with distractions of human origin:

• Those who like to talk and throw out their world culture on a person should be fenced off and covered with an impenetrable screen. In the everyday sense, this is expressed by the phrase: "Sorry, the topics are interesting, but I have urgent tasks, we'll talk another time." The colleague will go in search of another interlocutor.
• With the second type, you need to keep your eyes open and avoid dependence on it in your work. Be polite and not quarrel, so as not to get spokes in the wheels in the future.
• Do not discuss bosses at work - the main principle in the fight against spies and informers in the team.

So, the answer to the question, if there is a conflict with a colleague at work, what to do, stands on a simple but effective basis: “ less words- more business.

Hazing, personal relationships reduce productivity. At work, you need to work, not be friends. If a person firmly believes in these simple rules, then he is not afraid of any conflict with a colleague.

If the soul still requires understanding even in the place where you need to work, then you can switch to “you” with a colleague only after lengthy reflections and weighing all the pros and cons.

Conflict at work with the boss how to be?

You should not argue with the leader, remembering one covenant:

1. The boss is always right.
2. If the boss is wrong, see point one.

But leaders are not so hopeless. Sane people, although superior, in complex and significant disputes make contact. First of all, you should find out what is the reason for the misunderstanding? Does the fault lie with professional unsuitability, or did the conflict at work with the boss happen because of the personal qualities of the employee?

Personal dislike is a phenomenon that cannot be eradicated. The mass boils down to the fact that an ineffective cadre becomes a successful and beloved leadership. In life, the boss is consistent in his decisions and dismisses the objectionable.

The strategy of the employee's behavior is reduced to the struggle for the right to work where he likes. This means:

• Decently and politely answer the boss to his reproaches.
• Keep a distance (do not lose your temper, do not show irritation).
• If another official rises above the boss, and the work has not erased everything human from him, turn to him, he will help. True, the employee in his hands should have iron evidence of the guilt of his immediate supervisor.

If the employee has specific professional claims, the algorithm is as follows:

• A person talks to the boss in detail about problems.
• A person defines his weaknesses.
• Man plunges into the abyss of labor.

Resolving conflicts at work. Ways to behave in a conflict situation

1. Rivalry. When one participant in a dispute or both perceive the dispute as a battle. Very tough demeanor. People prove their case, even with another person - "winners are not judged." If a person easily and quickly goes to a confrontation, then he will not stay in the team. The state of war does not last long, it takes too much effort.
2. Adaptation. The behavior of an altruist who forgets about his interests and defended positions, for the sake of the team. The strategy is suitable for resolving minor contentious issues. If a person folds during important negotiations, then people lose respect for him. In addition, the behavior of the one who yields does not always come from the heart. In this case, the strategy is destructive for a person who deliberately smoothes the corners.
3. avoidance. A person goes into the shadows, allowing contradictions to exist, in the hope that the dispute will subside by itself. And again: insignificant disagreements can be resolved in this way, and serious problems should be discussed.
4. Compromise. A person who professes this manner of behavior sacrifices a pawn in order to get the king. He creates the illusion for the enemy that he has won, and negotiates bonuses and advantages for himself.
5. Cooperation. The strategy of behavior assumes a win for both parties. Wise and tricky move, but not suitable for every person and situation.

As strategies of behavior show, conflict resolution at work exists, but for each specific situation it is his.

Most constructive way conflict resolution at work is a conversation with an opponent (disgruntled party)

Outcast anthropologists believe: in ancient times, prehistoric times, before the advent of articulate speech, people communicated with each other telepathically. Then our ancestors switched to verbal communication. Since telepaths are a rarity these days, it is more productive to pronounce claims aloud.

Ways to extinguish emotions in a conflict are based on a substantive conversation, a discussion of problems, when the disputing parties analyze what does not suit them in interaction and eliminate the flaws together. If all disagreements are resolved, life is happier and freer, and labor productivity increases, the atmosphere in the team improves.

The main problem of people is that they do not know how to negotiate and frankly discuss differences. Colleagues, subordinates and bosses, husbands and wives - in social and private life - people hush up pain points that worry them and in vain, this leads to increased pressure and emotional outbursts. To bleed the emerging tension, you need to enter into a dialogue with another person. Conversation is the most constructive at work and at home. A well-timed word saves people's lives and careers. The reverse is also true: if a person is silent when it is necessary to speak, a catastrophe is inevitable.

Conflicts in work and personal life are exhausting and aging.

If the situation is tense, but before open conflict it didn’t get there, then ignoring and silence (if possible) helps. When the confrontation turns from dumb to screaming, then you need to talk and discuss everything to the smallest detail. Analyze objective, subjective barriers to a peace agreement between the parties. Understand the other person

How to avoid conflict at work? Carefully select the field of activity and analyze the team

Conflicts are part of life, and they accompany a person all the time. And thinking about work and professional interests will not interfere even at a tender age. When a person is faced with a choice, to go or not to go to the team, then you need to ask yourself about three things:

• Do you like work?
• Do colleagues leave a good impression?
• The boss is harsh but fair?

The main thing is that the answer to the first question is positive. In reality modern society it rarely happens that you can really choose a job.

The cardinal answer to the question of how to avoid conflicts at work is this: do not work, do not merge with the team! But this is a utopia. Man must work in order to live. Otherwise, he will starve to death in the street.

Professional conflicts are a necessary evil. We have to defend our point of view, point out to others their mistakes, get our way in the face of a lack of time or resources. Sometimes this is difficult and even painful, especially if not all parties to the conflict are ready to comply with the work ethic.

AT working environment confrontation - part production process, and most often local skirmishes pass quickly and quite correctly: both sides understand their role and focus on the result. As a result, labor conflicts already contain the grain of a compromise that just needs to be found. But sometimes we have to deal with those who "play dirty" by using working situation methods of everyday scandal: the transition to personalities, veiled or direct insults and substitution of concepts. Does everything to turn a constructive conversation into a domestic quarrel. What are the causes of such conflicts?

What does the aggressor stand for?

“A person voluntarily entering into conflict communication, as a rule, has already experienced a feeling of humiliation,” says psychologist Anatoly Dobin. This feeling, unfortunately, experienced by almost everyone, but for some people the experience of humiliation is devastating. For example, if it was received in childhood, from people significant to the child.

“Such people,” Anatoly Dobin continues, “are characterized by suspicion and the desire to constantly control their environment. Their goal is to prevent a repetition of the humiliation of their personality. Unfortunately, this manifests itself as resentment and a tendency to see an attack where there is none. When such a person is approached with job offers, he may mistake them for an attempt to belittle him as a person and professional.

There is a conflict, but not of interests, but of ideas about the situation. While one of the participants in the industrial conflict believes that we are talking about working issues that need to be discussed and moved on, the other believes that his honor and dignity are in danger, and therefore it is necessary to defend them immediately. Humiliate someone else's dignity.

The goal of the aggressor is to hurt, find the sensitive string of the interlocutor

They are on the move gender stereotypes(“women don’t understand anything”), insults based on age (“it’s still young to tell me”), hints of incompetence (“got it from an ad”) or someone’s patronage (“daddy attached it”). It may be direct and rude or veiled, but it is no less offensive for that. There are no taboo topics for the aggressor, and sooner or later he achieves his goal: hitting a sensitive string, he finally drags his interlocutor from a work situation into a domestic conflict.

It is worth at least once to respond to an insult with an insult, or even just show that the words hurt you, and the aggressor can celebrate a victory: working theme forgotten, the result is not achieved, but the nerves are frayed and human dignity is humiliated.

There is only one way to get out of a situation like this with honor: not to enter it. However, this is not about avoiding confrontation. The way to resolve a professional conflict is to consistently strive to keep the situation within the framework of working negotiations. Let the other try to offend or offend you, you must achieve a result, and only this matters. First of all, for this you need to control yourself.

How to avoid conflict

“If you lose control of yourself, you lose everything,” says psychologist Robert Bakel of the University of Toronto. - Manipulative behavior is aimed at making you emotional reaction, make you behave aggressively or, conversely, defend yourself. If we lose our temper, we are doing exactly what the manipulators want us to do. And we lose because we enter into a game that cannot be won. Self-control is required, and this is precisely the control of behavior. You can get angry or upset if that is your choice, but you need to watch your behavior.

Dr. Bakel suggests several simple rules, following which a polite, well-mannered, socialized person can emerge victorious from a labor conflict with an aggressive manipulator.

Do not rush to answer. Before you get into a conflict at work, consider how you can deal with the situation by experiencing and causing the minimum unpleasant emotions. Only then act.

Yes, this means that you should take care not only of your feelings, but also of the feelings of your interlocutor. Remember that he is a man, even if he behaves inappropriately. That it might hurt him too. Moreover, he is in pain right now, and even if it is not your fault, it is in your power not to aggravate his suffering.

Pay attention to the speed and volume of your speech. An agitated person tends to speak faster and louder, forcing the interlocutor to also raise his voice. The faster the speech, the less thought in it and the higher the likelihood that something irreparable will be said. Do not hurry. Weigh your words.

If possible, take a time out. This does not mean that you need to shy away from conflict, but rather that you should put it off. If you see your opponent seething with negative emotions, invite him to reschedule the conversation. “I'm not ready to talk to you about this now. Let's make an appointment for tomorrow." This way you get time to prepare and your opponent time to cool down. In addition, since the conflict occurs in the team and in front of colleagues, it is possible that one of them uses their influence to calm the aggressor.

Don't take risks. Sometimes it seems to us that one well-aimed blow - for example, a good joke or a particularly deadly argument - can end the confrontation. But what works so well on sitcoms rarely works in real life. Be correct and don't try to end everything in one fell swoop.

Focus on results. We get what we focus on. If someone behaves aggressively and provokes you into conflict, you can focus on insults, and then there will only be more of them. And you can translate the conversation into a constructive direction, leaving provocations and insults behind the scenes. And that brings us to the main recommendation.

Words that will help in confrontation

• "Yes". Even arguments against must begin with the word "yes" - it is natural for a person to calm down when they agree with him.
• "We". Not “we are against you”, but “we are with you”. Try to include yourself and the other participant in the conflict in one social group: people are easier to take the side of the representatives of "their tribe".
• "I understand that you are upset" - in response to all attempts to insult you. Thus, you simultaneously reject the offense and grant forgiveness for it.
• “It's really not easy” and other phrases that will show that you realize that your opponent is having a hard time, but the situation requires additional efforts.
• “I heard you” is almost a forbidden technique. Use only if the negative argumentation has gone in a circle, and this is the third circle.
• “Let's both take a time out and meet in an hour (at three, tomorrow at ten)” - if you understand that the interlocutor, under the onslaught of emotions, has lost touch with reality.

Don't take the "bait"."Bait" are words that have no other purpose than to make you lose self-control, control over yourself and over the course of the conversation. Having lost your temper, you give the reins of government into the hands of a person who is not inclined to look after your interests. All swearing, all insults, all sexist, racist remarks are “bait” designed to distract us from the essence of the labor conflict. The answer to them is simple: "I understand that you are upset, but the work must be done."

Don't give in. Don't fight back. Don't pretend that you even noticed this blow. All it takes is to stick to your line.

Yes. This is hard. The person who is trying to hurt you right now may be cruel. But it is up to you to decide whether his attempts will succeed. It's up to you to decide if it really hurts. By the way, the pain will subside as soon as you achieve your goal: for example, promises to complete work by Wednesday, provide technical support or provide funding. The result is an amazing healer for a wounded soul, and only he, by and large, matters. Of course, if we are talking about work, not love.

Translated from the Latin word " conflict» stands for collision, and its cause often lies in mutually opposite needs, attitudes, goals and unwillingness to resolve issues peacefully. At the same time, the behavior of opponents can be radically different: someone enthusiastically gets involved in a communication war, passionately proves his case and tries with all his might to win the conflict, while someone chooses a different tactic - tries with all his might to bypass sharp corners, but at the same time it is surprised that the conflict does not go out.

Truth is born in a dispute

It is impossible to completely avoid conflicts in the workplace, even with the most ideal organization labor. In addition, some modern psychologists argue that periodic conflicts even in the most successful company and even with great relationship between colleagues are not only possible but desirable. As you know, truth is born in a dispute. However, this does not mean at all that management should calmly look at the squabbles occurring in the team and not make any attempts to prevent the development of conflicts, especially if they happen often. high speeds modern life, stress and constant pressure can turn any office into a battlefield with no room left effective work and normal healthy relationships between colleagues. Any leader should remember: the authorities can play huge role in the emergence of conflicts in the team. And for the quick repayment of quarrels, the leader must have a clear idea of ​​​​the causes and ways of managing conflict situations.

As is known, objective and subjective factors can underlie conflicts. Objectives include working conditions, financial position and skill level of the company's employees. To the subjective - different goals and ways to achieve them, the incompatibility of the characters and types of behavior of people working in single space and having different views for any given situation. One of the main tasks of leadership is creation favorable conditions which would prevent the occurrence of frequent conflicts that disrupt the workflow.

“I have been working for three years. I got a job in this company immediately after graduating from the institute and until recently I was very pleased with my place of work. But as the company is expanding, about a year ago, the boss hired another secretary, and since then my quiet life ended. With this we did not get along right away, we have different temperaments, different approach to work and a different manner of communication with colleagues and superiors. It would seem that there is nothing terrible in this, it happens that people who are different from each other get along well with each other, but we had conflicts one after another. In addition, over time, I began to notice that I have to work harder and stay late in the evenings more often, and my colleague very successfully and regularly shifts some of his responsibilities to me. Moreover, he does this with the approval of his superiors, who, apparently, do not care at all how much someone works, as long as the work is completed on time. At my requests to understand the situation, the boss dismisses it: “Decide everything yourself,” and we ourselves can only make scandals in the workplace, because of which we are then ashamed in front of our colleagues. I recently made the decision to quit my job and am now looking for another job. Hopefully there won't be any trouble."

Marina, secretary

How to recognize conflicts

In order to be able to prevent the occurrence of conflicts in the workplace, it is necessary to know the main causes that lead to quarrels. Among them are accusations and criticism for what the person is not to blame for, failure to do work or its performance is of poor quality and the subsequent clarification of circumstances, anger and irritation from fatigue, unfair demands, gossip of colleagues behind their backs, prejudice and exaggerated claims.

Psychologists also distinguish three most common types: interpersonal, conflict between an individual and a group and conflict between two groups. In the first case, the cause of the conflict most often becomes the dissimilarity of characters. Many people can't get along with each other because of differences in behavior. The second type of conflict is often observed between the new leader and the group, where the confrontation between the newcomer and the "oldies" begins. Any departure from earlier accepted norms the group regards negative manifestation and conflict arises. The third type of conflict is one of the most difficult to resolve, because there is, as they say, a “wall to wall” collision. Almost all employees can be included in such a confrontation. Everything is often pumped up by mass layoffs “of their own free will”.

“I am not ashamed of it. Despite the fact that this word is considered almost abusive by some, I have always strived to be the first and succeeded in this. He studied well at school, received a red diploma at the University. He got a job in a small company and in just three years he achieved success there - he became a sales director. From my successful work all the profits of the company depended, I will not hide, I was pleased that the authorities valued me and were afraid of losing me. However, in the fourth year of work, I realized that there was nowhere else to grow here, so I had to change my place of work. Settled in well-known company engaged in the supply of rolled metal products. I was appointed head of a department where there was always relatively little turnover and where a kind of “family” has developed with the motto “One for all and all for one”. And this "family" refused to accept me as a leader. They felt that I was too young and inexperienced, that I offered ideas that would not work. Our relationship improved only after a year and a half of my work, when everyone realized that my projects bring real profit to the company.

Vladislav, Sales Director

How to deal with conflicts the right way

The first rule is to try to resolve the conflict at the earliest possible stage. As a rule, the conflict arises gradually, so you should not disregard minor quarrels between employees at meetings, their sharp remarks and comments. Otherwise, it will be much more difficult to deal with sharp deterioration quality of work caused by office "wars".

The second rule - do not arrange a public showdown. Colleagues are not schoolchildren whose behavior can be discussed on general meeting. Don't turn workshops into blaming conflicts and don't publicize issues that require a personal touch. All serious questions concerning interpersonal conflicts try to discuss closed door with direct participants in the dispute.

The third rule is to encourage teamwork. Your company is single organism, for the life of which it is necessary harmonious work. Do not allow unhealthy competition, when employees are forced to fight almost with swords for certain bonuses or profitable customers. Try to rally the team, where mutual assistance will be in use, at least sometimes.

Fourth rule - do not take sides, choose neutrality. Until you listen to both sides, do not make any decisions, and even more so, do not rush to punish the first one who comes across, the one who was complained about. Invite colleagues to solve the problem through negotiations.

The fifth problem - do not be afraid to fire. Even if you have a genius working in your company, but at the same time he regularly interferes with the work process of other employees and provokes conflicts, you will have to say goodbye to him. Otherwise, everything can end with mass layoffs, which are not so easy to deal with.

Expert opinion

There are conflicts in every field. And the work team is living people: people are different, with their own beliefs and different styles of behavior. Therefore the collision opposite points vision, various models work inevitably leads to conflict.

Being in the midst of a labor conflict is, of course, unpleasant. In addition, frequent conflicts in the team negatively affect the overall working atmosphere. However, without conflict, there is no development. After a dispute is resolved, something new almost always appears: a new relationship between employees, a solution to a problem, etc. However, it is important to remember that conflicts should not be avoided, but dealt with constructively so that they really lead to the development of the company. Otherwise, the confrontation can continue indefinitely, thus preventing both employees from productively fulfilling their duties and the company itself from achieving new goals.

To figure out a conflict employee, you need to be very attentive to others, be able to listen and try not to become a provocateur of the conflict yourself. It is necessary to observe a person, how he behaves in a team, how he communicates, what he considers important in life and work.

Often those who can provoke a conflict situation are convinced that they are right. It is important for them that their opinion is always accepted unquestioningly. They are afraid to make a mistake so as not to undermine their authority. And they do not make concessions, because they consider only themselves to be right in any situation. Therefore, any opinion other than their own, such people can take "with hostility." They fight for career and can create conflicts precisely on this basis.

Such a person is pleased that someone was scolded by the boss, while he himself remained good. Such a lover of conflict often says compliments and other pleasant things in the face of a colleague, but in his absence he can gossip for a long time and with pleasure.
People with heightened emotionality are also subject to conflicts. As a rule, they react violently to everything that happens, not hiding their feelings and emotions. If something made them happy, they rejoice noisily, share their impressions with colleagues. If something upset or offended them, then they will immediately throw out all their indignation right in the team.

There are also silent conflict employees. The difficulty of interacting with them is that they prefer to remain silent, even if something does not suit them or they are dissatisfied with something. At the same time, an attempt by the opponent to find out what the actual matter is will not bring results. This can irritate the opponent. This is where the conflict begins.
And if among your colleagues there are people who constantly complain about life, about their boss, about working conditions, about a husband or wife, etc., then be careful: such a person will defend his position of “offended by life” with all his might, which is also may lead to conflict.

Irritation and anger are indispensable companions of any confrontation. But it is better not to throw out anger on colleagues, but talk about their feelings to the opponent directly, calmly and frankly. At the same time, adhere to the so-called I-concepts”: talk only about yourself, your feelings and do not blame colleagues and partners.

If it is very difficult for you to pull yourself together in the midst of a serious conflict, then you should just get out of the situation for a while (leave the office, move away from your opponents, stay alone), so that later, when the anger passes, be sure to return to the discussion. Left alone, you can yell, speak out, and hit the wall with your fist to vent your anger. Water helps a lot. Therefore, you can wash your face, wet your wrists, wash your hands.

But it should be remembered that any conflict must be resolved. If you constantly try to avoid a collision, then the hostile atmosphere in the work team can last for a very long time. Up to the point when, finally, it will not be allowed.

The best option conflict resolution - cooperation, when both opponents eventually win something. However, in many situations, a compromise will also be a good outcome, when the parties to the conflict make concessions to each other, thereby coming to a common solution.

If you are already in a conflict situation, first listen to all the claims of the other side, try to accept this point of view. Then express your position, give your arguments. After that, all parties to the conflict should ask themselves: what best solution Will it be beneficial for us and for you? If a specific ways that suit both parties are still not in the process of negotiations, it is advisable to invite a third party - a mediator who will be able to offer his own neutral ways out of the conflict.

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