Instruction

First, you need to determine the reason for your complex. Think about what specifically you don't like about yourself. The root of the problem can be very different. Most complexes come from childhood: Many are teased by their peers, which deeply hurts especially sensitive children. Perhaps once a loved one left you, or someone systematically insulted you, joked evilly about your shortcomings. It happens that a strong emotional shock takes you out of the game, depriving you of a sense of self-confidence. Help in search true reason complex psychologists can.

After identifying the problem, you need to move on to action. Fight your fears. If, for example, you cannot perform in front of an audience, try to overcome your fear. You can start small: make a toast in the family circle, make a small announcement in front of work colleagues, etc.

Love yourself. You should always remember that every person is unique and so are you. Take a piece of paper and try to list your positive traits or achievements. When your pluses are fixed, you will feel your importance and strength. Don't forget to praise yourself. Personal recognition matters the most. Every morning in front of the mirror, smiling, tell yourself that you look great, and you will succeed.

Do whatever gives you confidence. Dress in the clothes that are comfortable for you. If you feel comfortable and confident in a business suit - get a suit, you prefer sports shoes- wear sneakers or moccasins, consider yourself overweight - play sports for at least twenty minutes a day. If you have skin problems, visit a beautician. Remember that no matter how perfect your appearance is, what you have inside plays much more important role. Therefore, it is necessary to improve your knowledge.

Make plans for the future. Success is achieved by those who are not afraid to set themselves challenging tasks. learn foreign language or learn to play the guitar, become a professional in your field. Of course, all this is not easy to achieve, but you yourself set a deadline for yourself.

Try to start new life. Divide everything into "before" and "after". And leave your complexes in the past, you don't need them anymore. Tell yourself: “I can do anything. I . There have been and will be many obstacles in my life, but I coped with them and will cope with ease.

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People who are being poisoned complexes much more than meets the eye. Not too demanding on their partner, place of work and prosperity, they are content with the role of gray mice. And few people realize that behind this complex image there may be a bright, interesting person.

Instruction

Analyze where your complexes came from. You can do this on your own or with the help of a therapist. Perhaps you got them because your classmates teased you, or because your parents were always dissatisfied with your achievements. Think about why these people treated you the way they did at the time. For example, classmates might tease you for having plump lips, and the mother, who had to leave dancing as a child, tried to make her dream come true with the help of you and severely scolded for every failure.

Consider whether their accusations are justified for you in this moment when your plump lips have become sexy and are the subject of your pride, and you are a welcome guest at any disco.

Write down your talents, skills and positive qualities on a piece of paper. Ask your loved ones to complete it.

Try not to communicate with people who constantly criticize and find fault with you. If this is a relative - reduce communication with him to a minimum. If your boss is picking on you, consider changing jobs.

Inferiority is a question that thousands of people ask themselves every day. The answer is simple - you have to try to love yourself. The most expensive, the most important, the most important person in your life is yourself.

On the way to your cherished dream, take steps. It's better to regret perfect mistake than to regret the missed chance. Be decisive, overcome and act. It is worth taking the first step, and you will want to take the second, then the third, and you yourself will feel pride in yourself, in your own and enterprise. And courageous and enterprising people are deprived of inferiority complexes, they are harmonious. Become perfect too harmonious personality!

You can show reasonable selfishness, sometimes try to put your personal interests above public ones. You will see how he will begin to respect and even love you.

Review your wardrobe, buy a couple of very trendy items and be sure to get high-quality, expensive high-heeled shoes. Wearing such shoes increases the production of hormones of happiness.

Everyone, does not exist ideal people, but they know how to extract some of their shortcomings, presenting them to themselves and society as a unique individuality, while others with low self-esteem turn shortcomings into complexes that poison life. Allow yourself to love your flaws, and never berate yourself. Never talk about yourself. Remember and often repeat: “I am unique!”, “I attract good luck!”, “I am charming!” etc. Begin each morning with these words and end each day with them.

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Strakhov and complexes in each of us there is a great multitude, because each complex is a reflection of a complex inner life specific person, a inner world, as you know, inimitable and unique. There are some fears and complexes, which are generally universal for all people. Therefore, there are universal psychological ways getting rid of them.

Instruction

Take a piece of paper and make a list of the things you always wanted to do but didn't dare to do. List also your concerns about this. Try to be as specific as possible about what makes you worry. Divide the page into two columns: write your goals in the left column, describe the feelings, fears and reasons preventing you from moving forward in the right column. Be honest with yourself. Understand that yours is natural defense mechanism which works because you feel vulnerable and are trying to avoid pain. If you can rationally explain to yourself each of your fears and complexes and visualize it on paper, you will big step forward.

Do your research and see objectively if there really is cause for concern. If you are unable to conduct the analysis yourself, seek help from a loved one or professional psychologist. Sometimes it is enough just to compare yourself with other people: colleagues, classmates, friends. Many have already managed to achieve what you aspire to, but have not achieved due to their own and complexes. Their example may inspire decisive steps for your own achievements. And understanding what is possible will allow you to overcome your fears. But there are situations when your fear is real and justified, because you really should not risk, say, your life or your capital. In other cases, when you carefully study and analyze your list of fears, you can get rid of them, relying on objective and rational reality.

Communication is one of effective ways overcome complexes. Sometimes a simple conversation with a close and understanding person can bring great relief. The people around you are able to calm your anxiety, because they may know something that you did not know before. So, logically explain the situation by removing your internal stress. Close person is able to help get rid of fears with his presence alone. For example, just accompanying you on a flight. He can hold your hand or just be there for you.

Each person has certain complexes. Inferiority complex is a negative self-image, often accompanied by low self-esteem and self-doubt. In 1912, psychologist Alfred Adler published The Neurotic Character. The research presented in this book formed the basis of a new direction in psychology - the study of the inferiority complex. In psychology, the feeling of inferiority is defined as negative experiences (shame, anxiety, anxiety, etc.) that arise in situations where a person feels inferior to others in some way.

An inferiority complex arises when comparing oneself with some standards, parameters (in appearance, behavior, abilities, etc.) and one's inconsistency with these parameters. Think about why, in fact, we have to adjust ourselves to some standards, because each of us is unique, and this is wonderful. We do not compare chamomile and cornflower, each flower is beautiful in its own way. Life is beautiful in its diversity. Learn to appreciate and enjoy your uniqueness!

Complex person tends to constant discontent self-criticism, belittling oneself and one's own merits. He feels less likeable, less capable, less worthy (the list goes on and on) than others.

We all love to be supported and approved. But when the need for approval becomes too strong, when a person is primarily focused on what others will say, and not on personal opinion he loses his footing. His state of mind, his mood becomes directly dependent on the people around him. People feel this very well and begin to manipulate this person. Learn to focus primarily on your feelings and opinions.

If you're suffering from a feeling own inferiority, the suggestions below will help you deal with this negative feeling. Inferiority complex usually occurs in childhood when our parents or teachers compared us to other people, pointing out our shortcomings (in the best of intentions). For example: “Look at Sasha, he always brings home fours and fives. And you?" Good news that by changing your attitude, your thoughts, you can gradually overcome the inferiority complex.

How to Get Rid of an Inferiority Complex - 12 Steps

Primarily, determine the cause of your complex. Recall your childhood, your negative childhood or teenage memories. Maybe your classmates teased you? Was your first teacher constantly scolding? Was your mother often unhappy? etc. Choose 2-3 most traumatic situations and write down the answer to next questions for each situation:

• What thoughts and emotions did you have at the time of the negative incident?
• Your internal dialogue, thoughts, emotions after the incident?
• How strong were those emotions and thoughts?
• How long did you worry about what happened?

Now look at all these accusations and unflattering words addressed to you from the perspective of an adult. You were a child, you didn’t have much knowledge and experience, it’s natural that you made mistakes, couldn’t cope with something ... You still consider yourself not very smart just because in the 3rd grade you didn’t know how to solve problems well and the teacher called you stupid? Good teacher I wouldn't say so. As a child, you accepted the words of adults as truth, without doubting that they were right. But in many cases they were WRONG!

It's time to reevaluate all your negative beliefs that you have carried with you since childhood. Write down all the negative beliefs in the left column, and then next to each write a new positive belief.

For example:

Cut off the left side and burn it, and hang the new beliefs in a prominent place and reread them every day until they become natural to you.

Change your negative self-talk to a more positive one.

Track your thoughts. When negative thoughts, for example, "I'm the worst dressed at this party", "No one talks to me, they think I'm strange", "I'm a coward, I'm afraid to speak in front of people", immediately replace them with positive or neutral ones. Develop the habit of thinking about yourself in in a positive way. It is difficult, it takes time and perseverance on your part. But without changing your thoughts, you will not be able to get rid of the inferiority complex!

Look into yourself. Analyze and write down what your strengths and weaknesses are. It is very important. Knowing yourself will help you deal with criticism better. Ask your loved ones to help you identify your strengths and weaknesses. By the way, there should be no less advantages than disadvantages.

Another important step in the treatment of an inferiority complex: acknowledge your weaknesses. Do not ignore them, but do not complex about this either. We all have flaws, we are all human (complex people tend to think that their list of flaws is much longer than others, but this is not so). When you know your shortcomings, you can do something about it. Take an active position. Remember, everything can be changed. If you can't dance, sign up for dance studio. If you are overweight, start going to the gym.

Focus on your strengths instead of your weaknesses. Every time an inferiority complex wakes up in you, you begin to feel inferior to others in some way, remember your strengths. For example: “Yes, I still don’t know how to dance as beautifully as Valya, but I sing beautifully, but Valya doesn’t.” Be persistent. If thoughts about your own inferiority arise dozens of times a day, then you need to consciously shift your attention from your shortcomings to your virtues just as many times. Gradually, this will become a habit, and you will happily notice that yours (an article with valuable recommendations).

Don't take criticism personally. It's just Subjective opinion another person. If there is some truth in the criticism, take note of it, but take it as a criticism of your actions, not your personality. Remember that the cause of your inferiority complex is not events and other people, but your reaction to them. From what you will feel and think about yourself after negative situation depends on whether you feel inferior or not.

For example, a close relative called you selfish person thinking only of himself, because you refused to help him with something. Instead of judging yourself and feeling guilty, step back a bit from the situation. Think of all the times you helped this relative. Maybe he is used to the fact that you are always ready to help, and already takes your help for granted? Perhaps you had good reason refuse. Etc. When you begin to objectively assess the situation, you are more likely to avoid feelings of inferiority and self-criticism.

Surround yourself with upbeat, optimistic people. Communicating with them will support and inspire you to make positive changes in yourself and your life.

People with an inferiority complex often avoid communication. Even if they have a circle of acquaintances, they are reserved and do not open up to people. Tip - you need to face your fear and practice communication as often as possible. You will soon feel that people are not laughing at you, criticizing you at every turn, and that they are well aware of your sincerity.

Constantly develop physically, spiritually, mentally. Always learn something new. You can do it yourself or go to some courses, interest clubs. When you successfully master some new skills and abilities, your self-esteem and self-esteem grow.

Choose a role model for yourself. It could be a real man from your environment or some famous person, or even the hero of a book or movie. Take it for yourself strengths. Play the role of this person, even if at first it seems to you that it is false and unnatural. Gradually, this feeling of artificiality will pass, and its virtues will indeed become yours.

Read positive, inspiring books. I recommend books by Louise Hay, Joseph Murphy, Vladimir Sinelnikov, Alexander Sviyash, Anatoly Nekrasov, Robin Sharma, Brian Tracy, Anthony Robbins, and others.

Be sure to start personal diary , in which you will record the events of the past day, your successes, your thoughts. Set aside at least 10-15 minutes each evening for journaling.

If you are unable to overcome the inferiority complex on your own, seek professional help. Make an appointment with a psychologist, perhaps he will prescribe you some medications(eg, low dose antidepressants). Feel free to do this, in the West, many people turn to psychologists and psychotherapists for help, this is considered completely normal.

An inferiority complex is not a life sentence. Make a firm decision to change your negative mindset into a more positive one. With sincere desire and perseverance, you can get out of the pit of loneliness, despair and depression. Nobody says it will be easy. This will require considerable effort, time and courage from you. Do something every day to change yourself and your life for the better. Sometimes you will want to quit everything, do not give in to such thoughts. Never give up! I would be glad if you share your ways of dealing with an inferiority complex in the comments.

Hello friends and blog guests! With you, of course, again I am Sasha Bogdanova ...

Today there will be an urgent topic, because so many do not know “how” ... Many nurture in themselves insecurity and live with a sense of inferiority.

And why? Because they do not know how to deal with an inferiority complex and put up with this condition for years.

Do you want to know how to live joyfully and richly, not be ashamed of yourself and open up to the fullest?

To get started, answer a few questions:

• Do you think that your dreams are unattainable due to lack of ability and opportunities?
• Not worthy of compliments good relationship to yourself?
• Or is it completely sure that no one needs it?

If you answered yes to at least two of the three questions, it is possible that you have low self-esteem. Explicit or disguised, but the inferiority complex makes itself felt, poisoning life with fears and prejudices.

The modern rhythm of life is already stressful for any person.

This is especially evident in situations where you need to apply your skills, communicate with people and compete. Due to this, a person manifests self-doubt and various complexes.

So what is an inferiority complex? First of all, this state, expressed in negative perception myself:

“Everyone around me is superior to me in everything, but I do everything worse than others! Why am I like this in this world (?) "

Such ideas can cause depression, and even lead to suicide.

The reasons for the emergence and development of this complex may be one's own failures and mistakes, mental trauma and discrimination.

Especially often, an inferiority complex manifests itself in women: unfortunately, even a patriarchal society makes conflicting demands, ignores the desires and the right to vote of girls.

How to understand that a person is “awarded” with this complex

Usually, numerous signs are immediately evident:

• Self-isolation
• Fear of looking ridiculous
• Constant search for your own shortcomings
• Excessive vulnerability
• Low self-esteem
• And even the rejection of compliments

It happens that all this is disguised as excessive arrogance - yes, yes, overly powerful and proud people, asserting themselves, they try to "hide" from the rest.

The best defense is an attack: a person with such a complex perceives others as strangers or enemies.

Often, an inferiority complex manifests itself even on a physical level:

1. Shackled postures (often crossed arms)
2. Fussiness and speech defects such as stuttering and a low voice
3. The gait of insecure people is often mincing, the head is lowered, the back is slightly stooped.

Perhaps you yourself may not realize that you have a similar problem. Only a glance from the outside can sober up a person who is confused in his experiences. And here, like nowhere else, you need an inner desire to change and the support of others.

Ways to deal with the complex

An inferiority complex does not allow you to reveal your abilities, realize your dreams, find friends, interesting interlocutors and build relationships with the opposite sex.

Don't you think it's enough big list problems? Isn't it time to get rid of it?

And so... what to do?

1. Find out the cause of the complex
2. Analyze your strengths and weaknesses
3. Realize the importance of your "I"
4. Change your old lifestyle
5. Change environment
6. compete

Let's take a look at all these points in detail.

1. Find out the cause of the complex

How to overcome it? As you know, you can not deal with the problem without getting to the root of evil. Recall unpleasant events that happened in the past.

There is good reception, helping to dispel illusions about their own inferiority. To do this, write down some of the most traumatic situations of past years and answer yourself the following questions:

• How long have I been in this situation?
• What emotions did I experience? How strong were they, what is mine weakness was hurt?
• What were my thoughts about myself at the time of the incident?
• How did I think to myself after the incident?

It is best to write down all answers on paper. Do not be shy to write all the most painful - the paper will endure everything.

When you're done, take a few minutes to rest and look at what you've written from the perspective of mature person: are you really weak just because the whole class laughed at you?

You are an adult, accomplished person. Do you know that " White crow"in one team -" a "friend" in another. Is it worth it to humiliate yourself so much because of a small group that you no longer remember?

And you can burn the paper: it will be easier for you to let go of the situation. Repeat this exercise until you feel more confident.

2. Analyze your strengths and weaknesses

In the world there is absolutely no ideal personalities. It seemed successful people downright flawless - but no, for everyone there is a skeleton in the closet.

Listen to how you are being praised. Often notorious person rejects self-admiration (“Am I smart? I can’t even overcome a simple physics problem”).

Try to look at yourself through the eyes of someone who does not know about your complexes: be sure, you will find a lot of interesting things.

Now take Blank sheet paper and divide it into two columns. In the first, write down your prejudices, and in the second, reflect on this topic and replace the negative with the positive.

For example: “I am uninteresting” - “who said that this is so? I have something to say to other people. You just need to be in interest groups more and gradually start conversations with companions.

Knowing yourself will help you improve, and also not get confused in front of criticism.

3. Realize the significance of your "I"

For some reason, in our society, selfishness and self-love are often one and the same. Children are often accustomed to sacrifice, which manipulators willingly use in the future.

Stop! Tell yourself: "the most main man for me, it's me." This does not mean not appreciating other people; this suggests that you are not going to give up your desires, aspirations to please someone.

4. Change your old lifestyle

At least as an experiment. This is your life, so why not try yourself in a new role? Do floristry new haircut, listen to music that is not typical for you, or just change your page in the social. networks.

Be open to this world. Maybe, your environment will be shocked - do not be afraid, they will get used to it. Better take up new perspectives: new skills, new acquaintances…

5. Change environment

In fact, everyone is familiar with the so-called. " energy vampires", which downright feed on other people's insults and embarrassment. Minimize contact with these people who fit you to their standards.

6. Compete

Winning increases your self-esteem. Start with something simple, where you feel at ease. Play on your territory and by your own rules! Time after time, but even trifling successes add up to something more.

What matters is that you see the fruits of your efforts. You no longer have a reason to talk about yourself in a negative way. Even if you are not confident in any area, you can definitely know that you can do everything - you just have to try, time after time.

And finally...

Even the most courageous and accomplished people suffered from an inferiority complex. And they made their choice: to fight. I see no obstacles preventing you from doing the same.

Even if you still think differently. Just try.

Not everyone can be a great scientist, musician, discoverer. One thing is important: each of us is born to be happy. And this is much more important than all the trophies put together.

That's actually all for today, but I would like to know your opinion on this topic and maybe even argue ... By the way, soon I will start again and + one more interesting competition I'll write about it one of these days, tch..........

Goodbye... Sasha Bogdanova

The diagnosis of "inferiority complex" enters our lives imperceptibly. Somehow, suddenly, we notice that we are catastrophically different from others. All normal people of average height, and I suddenly find myself either a "meter in a cap" or a "giraffe-hawk". Everyone has friends, and I'm an outcast. Everyone has a beautiful appearance, but my teeth grow forward or my nose is too snub. We look at ourselves in the mirror for a long time, drearily compare ourselves and others, and reflect on the injustice of life. Sometimes inferiority complexes go away as if by themselves. But sometimes they dig so deeply into the subconscious that there is no escape from them. Time runs, we are already 20 years old, or even 40 or even 60, and the complexes remain with us, as they were. They prevent us from living, they choke us, they make us behave inappropriately. Obviously, they need to get rid of! But how? We are looking for an answer together with the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan.

Where and why do we get inferiority complexes?
Why are inferiority complexes so different in people: for some they are directly related only to appearance, for others - with money or work?
How to get rid of an inferiority complex and completely change your life?

An inferiority complex literally haunts us, because the reason for it is ourselves, some of our features that cannot be changed. For example, too tall, a flaw on the face, poor diction. How to get rid of an inferiority complex? The answer is simple: to realize where it came from.

Where do legs grow from an inferiority complex

Many people have an inferiority complex adolescence. This mechanism is laid down by nature. The fact is that before leaving puberty, it is very important for children to be a part of the team. To stand out means to become an outcast, to receive ridicule and kicks. And this is normal and does not prevent a person from becoming a “person” later on. We are just part of the same flock, where we get the highest pleasure from the realization outside.

Inferiorities and complexes often come from childhood. There was not a sufficient sense of security, some vectors were transmitted, some vice versa, it is not possible to adapt, live, develop, love, make friends, build close relationships - the complexes are tightly integrated into adult life.

Are there exercises to get rid of inferiority complexes?

Today, there are many different methods that are offered to get rid of the inferiority complex. It can be a variety of self-esteem exercises, affirmations, wish boards, forcibly changing your thinking in a positive direction, etc.

But after trying different variants all of the above, any person quickly realizes that all this does not work. And no wonder, because the causes of the inferiority complex are in our subconscious, and different kind exercises are aimed at solving the consequences of these very complexes.

In other words, with exercises we fight not with the causes, but with the effect. Naturally, we can not overcome, no matter how hard we try.

The only way to get rid of an inferiority complex is to deal with its cause - to realize the unconscious roots of one's states, to consciously analyze and adapt the stress of fear that was experienced in adolescence due to shortcomings in appearance (character, speech, behavior).

Inferiority complex - fear reinforced by stress

Often, inferiority complexes occur in people who have a visual vector. Fear is the root desire of the viewer. Having not learned to adapt stress and push fear out into empathy, such a visual person lives on his fears. On the one hand, they torment him, but on the other, he cannot refuse them.

Beauty is key concept for the visual person. It is not surprising that the most frequent inferiority complexes of a visual person are associated with appearance.

It seems that the reasons for inferiority complexes great amount- For some, the problem is height, for some, weight, for some, hair color. In fact, in the roots - it's all one fear - the fear of showing yourself to other people, the fear that they will laugh at you, that they will offend, call names, humiliate, fear of being an outcast.

Sometimes the cause for an inferiority complex in a person with a visual vector is also fears in other vectors. For example, a person with an anal vector is afraid of being disgraced because of his actions or deeds - he is dependent on the opinions of others, the assessment of others. Due to stress, he may develop an inferiority complex - he cannot make a decision himself, be satisfied with his work, he needs to hear praise or support from others. Not receiving it, he remains in constant doubt feelings of guilt, depression.

How to get rid of an inferiority complex

Having learned to understand himself, realizing his fears, any person easily finds a way out of the situation. A primitive fear that makes us shyly hunch over tall or, conversely, to walk in huge heels because of vertically challenged, dissolves when we begin to realize ourselves in society as any normal, adult person - to show the properties-desires of our vectors outward, for others. Here's what listeners say about it systems-vector psychology Yuri Burlan:

I had terrible complexes about my appearance, fear of going out, fear of people, lack of emotional connection in the visual vector. Now I got a job related to sales! I would never have thought that I would work in this area. I became the best according to the results in December and in the year, I became a leader, I get a big salary, I save money, I feel socially protected.

Konstantin Litovar, sales representative

Going outside, going to the nearest store, talking on the phone, live communication, new acquaintances, crossing the street through a traffic light, using public transport, a crowd passing by caused a strong inner restlessness and I have tremendous stress with the feeling that a little more and I will explode. I did not understand for a long time, what's the matter, how to get rid of it, tried various methods, but dubious little success without pleasure did not justify the effort expended. Now, after almost two years, I do not feel that former horror of people, I can calmly go out into the street, use public transport talk on the phone and do many other things without spending too much time and effort thinking about and overcoming your fear.

Ural Kazakbaev, process engineer

Because of my fears, I quit studying. I didn't feel comfortable being around people. It seemed to me that they all looked at me and found something bad in me. It drove me crazy. I finally began to live with ease: a burden fell off me that did not allow me to live. I began to go outside and started doing something. Before the training, I did not have a job, after the training I found myself a job that, on this moment brings me pleasure. I am very glad that after listening to introductory lectures I still gave myself the opportunity to grab onto them and went to full course. Otherwise, I don't know what would happen to me.