For more than sixty years, researchers have been studying the reasons that motivate us to agree to someone's request. There is no doubt that the techniques and methods of persuading people are based on science. And in many ways this science is surprising.

We would like to think that when making decisions, we are guided by all available information. But in reality, things usually happen differently. Our life has become saturated to the limit, and now more than ever we need templates and everyday rules to make a decision.

Professor of psychology and an expert in the field of social and experimental psychology - Robert Cialdini, discovered and deduced six such rules (in fact, there are more of them, and in the book The Psychology of Persuasion: 50 Proven Ways to Be Persuasive by Cialdini introduces readers to a large number of them, but the main ones, according to Robert - only six), which control human behavior. Here they are: reciprocity, rarity, authority, consistency, sympathy and agreement.

Understanding these rules and being able to apply them without going beyond moral restrictions, you can significantly increase the chances of obtaining consent to your request. Let's talk in more detail about each of them in turn, and consider the experience using examples. American researchers in the field of psychology of persuasion.

RECIPROCITY

People feel obligated to reciprocate the attention or favor they have received in the past. If a friend invited you to a party, you will need to invite him over to your place. If a colleague has done you a favor, you must, on occasion, repay him in kind. Also in the case of social obligations, people are more likely to say "Yes" to those to whom they owe something.

One of the best demonstrations of the principle of reciprocity comes from a series of studies done in restaurants. For example, when you last time dined in a restaurant, it is very likely that the waitress brought you a small treat, most likely at the same time as the bill. It could be a surprise cookie or just a mint. Here the question arises - does this treat somehow affect the size of your tip? Most people say no, but mint candy can do wonders.

In a study, a treat at the end of a meal with candy increased the size of the tip by 3%. It is curious that if the treat is doubled, you are offered two sweets, then the increase in the tip increases not two, but four times - up to 14%. But the result becomes even more interesting when the waiter gives you one candy, steps away from the table, then stops and says that he has another candy for such nice customers. Tips increase by as much as 23%, reacting only to how the treat was presented.

Thus, the key to applying the rule of reciprocity is to be the first to do the favor and make it pleasant and unexpected.

RARITY

That is, people are more eager to acquire those things that are difficult to get. When British Airways announced in 2003 that Concorde's second London-New York flight of the day had been canceled due to economic inefficiency, ticket sales surged the following day. Notice that there were no changes to the flight itself - the plane did not fly faster, the quality of service did not improve, the cost of tickets did not decrease. It's just that the opportunity to use the service has drastically decreased. And as a result, demand has increased. So the technique for applying the rarity principle to persuasion is quite clear.

It is not enough to simply tell people about the benefits they will receive by choosing your product or service. It also needs to be emphasized unique opportunities your offer. Tell people what they have to lose if they don't use it.

The point is that people are more willing to listen to the opinions of trustworthy experts. For example, physiotherapists are able to convince more patients to perform the recommended sets of exercises if they hang their medical diplomas and certificates on the walls of the office. Also in the parking lot, you are more likely to move your car at the request of a stranger if he is wearing a uniform and not ordinary clothes.

The important thing here is to make it clear to people that your knowledge and experience are trustworthy before attempting persuasion. Of course, this is not always easy to do. You won't walk around potential buyers and praise yourself. However, you can certainly arrange for someone else to do this for you.

And here science makes an unexpected conclusion. If you are advertised, it turns out that it does not matter whether your agent receives a profit from this or not. So one real estate firm was able to increase both the number of real estate appraisal bookings and the number of contracts subsequently awarded by advising consultants responding to client requests to start the conversation by mentioning the experience and merits of the firm's agents. For example, to an appeal for renting out real estate, the answer was something like this: “ Let me connect you with Sandra, who has been in the rental business for over 15 years.". Clients interested in selling property were attracted by advice: “ You'd better talk to Peter, he's the head of our real estate department and has over 20 years of experience in the field". The result of these recommendations was a 20% increase in consultations and a 15% increase in contracting—not bad at all for such an innocuous method of persuading a person, which, moreover, requires no expense.

SUBSEQUENCE

People like to be consistent, both in their words and in their deeds. To achieve consistency in behavior, you need to come up with the first small thing and invite people to do it.

In one famous experiment an unexpected result was obtained. Very few residents of one of the residential areas agreed to place a nondescript wooden sign on the lawn in front of their house to support the company for road safety. And in another such neighborhood, almost four times as many homeowners agreed to put up the same sign. Why? Because ten days ago they put a small postcard on the windowsill as a sign of support for the same company. This card was that small first step that led to a quadruple effect on the second, more difficult, sequential action. Therefore, intending to play on consistency in behavior, masters of persuasion try to lead people to voluntary, active public action. In the ideal case, seeking to fix it on paper.

For example, in a recent experiment, the number of missed appointments in medical center decreased by 18%. Due to the fact that patients were asked to fill out a doctor's appointment slip on their own. Whereas before it was done by medical workers.

SYMPATHY

People are more willing to say "Yes" to those they like. But why does one person like another? Persuasion theory says that there are three main factors here:

1. We like people like us;
2. We love those who praise us;
3. We sympathize with people with whom we do one thing in common.

A series of studies on the psychology of persuading people in the process of negotiation involved students from two well-known business schools studying majoring in Master of Business Administration.

One group of students was instructed to: “Time is money, so get straight to the point”. In this group, about 55% of the participants managed to come to an agreement. The second group was given different instructions: “Before you start negotiations, try to get to know each other better and find something in common that you all have”. After that, already 90% of the negotiations were successful and gave a satisfactory result. That is 18% more for each side.

Thus, in order to use the effective tool of sympathy as a method of persuading people, one must make an effort to find areas of convergence in views. Try to express sincere praise to the interlocutor before moving on to discussing business matters.

AGREEMENT

A person is more likely to focus on the actions and behavior of other people when he himself is in indecision. You may have noticed that it's common for hotels to put cards in bathrooms encouraging guests to reuse sheets and towels. Most often, the attention of guests is paid to the fact that this contributes to the protection environment. This method of persuasion turns out to be very effective - its effectiveness is 35%. But maybe there are more efficient ways?

As it turns out, about 75% of guests staying at a hotel for at least four days reuse their towels at one time or another. What if we use the consent rule and just write about it in our card: " 75% of hotel guests reuse their towels. Please follow their example". As a result, refusals to change clothes will increase by 26%.

This method of psychological persuasion says that instead of relying on your own persuasion abilities, you can focus on how the majority behaves. In particular, such a majority, to which everyone can easily identify themselves.

So here they are, six scientifically proven methods of persuasion that are simple and often cost-effective. practical techniques that can greatly increase your ability to convince people and influence their behavior, and in a completely honest way. These are the secrets of the science of persuasion applied in various fields life, ranging from simple interpersonal communication and ending with their use in advertising and marketing.

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To achieve success in business, organize the labor process in a team, establish and maintain authority, the manager must have certain techniques that can encourage a person to work. Persuasion is one such technique.

You will learn:

• How methods of persuasion and coercion are combined.
• What are the rules of communication used as the main methods of persuasion.
• What are the tactics of persuasion methods.
• What are the methods of psychological persuasion.

The method of psychological influence is the method of persuasion in conjunction with the method of coercion. Coercion and persuasion are methods of influencing human consciousness and a way of forming a common opinion. These two methods are inextricably linked: they have a dialectical connection and a single character.

Force method - it is a method of influence, which has two forms: moral-psychological and physical. In fact, the method of persuasion and coercion are very similar. The task of both methods is to ensure that the person being persuaded accepts the point of view of the interlocutor. The method of coercion, like the method of persuasion, is based on proving one's point of view.

Methods of persuasion - leaders in the methods of organizational influence, because they have a reasoned basis, proof of the necessity (unnecessity) of an action or an explanation of its correctness (incorrectness).

The process of persuasion is very complex, since the object of persuasion is a free person. Need to follow certain rules beliefs. Key moment in this process - an argumentation that will contribute to the adoption of the desired position by the listener, force him to reconsider his existing views and, as a result, share the opinion of the interlocutor.

In the methods of persuading the interlocutor, there are many ways of arguing. There are four ways to argue:

• Hold reception - outlines in general situation, makes it possible to use it as a starting point during the discussion.
• Tension relief technique. During the persuasion process, the atmosphere should be made less tense. The atmosphere should be easy, relaxed, conducive to the discussion of the issue.
• The direct approach technique is a way in which the initiator proceeds to the conversation without unnecessary preamble.
• The stimulation technique is based on the many questions posed at the very beginning of the conversation.

There are also certain rules of persuasion that allow you to achieve the desired result.

1st psychological reception - convince, not argue. An argument with the interlocutor in no way contributes to his disposition towards himself, rejects him from the subject of discussion, causes negative attitude. Tolerance to the opinion of the interlocutor, the ability to listen to his position is the key to success.

2nd method of persuasion - respect for the opinion of another person. You should not categorically state that his position is wrong in relation to yours, this will cause a similar reaction in relation to your position.

3rd method - method of recognition. An opinion, a position may turn out to be wrong, and this must be recognized.

4th way - a polite, calm, friendly tone. Do not raise your voice, "splashing saliva", to prove your position.

5th method - to achieve an affirmative answer at the beginning of the conversation, since by saying "no", it is psychologically more difficult for a person to reject own word and take a different position.

6th the method is to let the interlocutor talk a lot, much more than you.

The method of persuasion influences the interlocutor and contributes to his conviction of the correctness of your point of view and acceptance of the latter.

What Persuasion Techniques Work in Sales

It is important not to frighten off the client with an incorrectly chosen phrase. In order not to lose customers, use the algorithm with scripts for sellers, which is offered by the editors of the Commercial Director magazine.

Tips will be useful for any company if you adapt the script to business tasks.

What are the different types of persuasion methods?

There are two types of persuasion: direct and indirect.

direct way persuasion is the persuasion of an audience that is already ready to accept the information.

Indirect way persuasion is the persuasion of an audience attracted by random factors.

The direct method is relevant in the case when the audience is initially interested in the topic or is endowed with the gift of an analyst. If the topic does not attract the audience, then in this case you can apply indirect way beliefs. Persuasion in a direct way is deeper and more likely to positively influence people.

The whole process can be divided into 4 methods of persuasion:

• Informing.
• Explanation.
• Proof.
• Refutation.

Informing - telling a person why he should do something. In order to make a person act, you need a line of stimulating factors. This happens because a person must make sure, before starting to act, of his capabilities and the necessity of this act. Not a single person will start an activity if he is not sure that it is necessary and is not sure that he can perform it.

Explanation - another method of persuasion, which is no less significant than informing. Leaders have a lot to explain. Explanation is divided into 3 types:

• Instructional.
• Narrative.
• Reasoning.

Instructional clarification intelligibly explains to a person the order of actions, without affecting his critical thinking, but using his memory. This type clarification causes rejection in creative people, and in people with mathematical warehouse minds that work “like robots”, according to the program, an instructive explanation causes a positive trend.

Narrative clarification- a method of persuasion, which involves the presentation of the essence of the matter in the form of a story. At the end of the story, the person comes to a certain conclusion. This view is more relevant for most people, as they have been accustomed to it since ancient times. The whole life of a person is built on a story from parents, teachers, friends. But the use of a narrative explanation obliges the leader to possess certain skills: he must know how to build a story, know what the timbre of voice, facial expressions, and gestures should be like.

Reasoning clarification- a method of persuasion for an audience willingly participating in a dispute, able to instantly activate mental activity, clarification contributes to a more attentive attitude of the audience to the problem and the accompanying conclusions. This technique is relevant for leaders whose audience is people with a creative mindset who are active and sociable.

Proof. This method of persuasion is based on logic, the proof process is based on the fundamental laws of logic: the law of identity, the law of contradiction, the law of the excluded middle and the law of sufficient reason. The essence of the proof is reduced to the selection of a certain idea and its argumentation in the process of proving.

All this action is called a demonstration. The leader must have factual evidence to prove the correctness of this idea. Evidence cannot exist without facts. Factual confirmations set the audience to perceive the information in the right way and create an installation.

Refutation. The essence of this method of persuasion is to point people to their wrong views, undermine belief in inappropriate behavioral norms, destroy old ones and direct them to the formation of new attitudes. While working through refutation, the main "stumbling block" becomes the human ego, which means that only logical reasoning won't be enough. In the case of a refutation, the dispute is also ineffective. A person does not admit that he was wrong; it takes time to replace the established, rooted attitudes.

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Rules of communication as the main methods of persuasion

Scientists are working on research in the field of finding and studying the reasons that push a person to agree to someone's request. We rely on the fact that in making a decision we are driven by the knowledge gained in a particular area, in fact, in order to make a decision, we need strict rules and established norms that we obey every day.

Robert Cialdini, professor of psychology and researcher in social and experimental psychology, has identified 6 basic rules that guide a person in making a decision. In his book The Psychology of Persuasion: 50 Proven Ways to Be Persuasive, he gives many more such rules, but he considers reciprocity, rarity, authority, consistency, sympathy and agreement to be the main ones.

The ability to use these rules and knowing their clear definition, it is possible to achieve much greater results in persuading a person to agree to his request. Let's consider each of the examples in more detail and analyze the work of some American scientists in the direction of methods of suggestion and persuasion of people.

• Reciprocity

The psychology of most people has such a function - they believe that they are obliged to "pay back the debt" for the service once rendered to them. That is, an eye for an eye. For example, a person invited you to a birthday party, you should invite him to yours. Or if you were once given a loan, then you, too, must certainly lend money to a person if necessary. In the matter of social obligations, people are more willing to meet those to whom they owe something.

The most striking example of the principle of reciprocity can be considered studies conducted at food points. Suppose, at the end of dinner in a restaurant, the waiter, along with the bill, brought you a small “compliment” from the institution in the form of a cake. And here the question follows - how will this sign of attention affect the tip? The vast majority will say no, but they are wrong, such a small compliment can have a completely unexpected effect.

According to statistics from studies, such a cake increases the size of the tip by three percent. Interesting fact that if instead of one cake they bring you two, then the tip grows not two, but four times and reaches the mark of 14%. But if the waiter leaves one cake, takes a couple of steps, and then comes back and says that he has another one for the most wonderful guests, then the tip increases to 23%. This is due to the choice of the way in which the compliment was made.

So, the basis for applying the rule of reciprocity is to be the first to provide a service that will be a pleasant surprise.

• Rarity

One more item human consciousness People want what is hard to get. A striking example To this is the situation with British Airways, when in 2003 the company announced the termination of the sale of tickets for the London - New York flight due to lack of profit, the next day a "boom" of sales was recorded. At the same time, the company did not make changes to the flight, neither to the cost of tickets, nor to improve the service, nor to improve aircraft. Simply put, in the language of economics, supply has decreased, which inevitably leads to an increase in demand. Therefore, the use of the "rarity" technique, as a method of persuasion and influence, is clearly defined.

It is not enough to tell people that they benefit by purchasing the offered product or service. You must focus the attention of a potential buyer on the uniqueness of your offer, and talk about possible losses, in case of refusal.

• Authority

The bottom line is that people give more attention authoritative opinion, that is, the opinion of an expert. For example, a doctor can provide much greater influence on a person, acting by the method of forming consciousness and persuasion by demonstrating their awards, diplomas, thank you letters. Or are you more likely to park your car elsewhere if asked to do so by someone else? a common person and a man in uniform.

Before attempting to persuade people, it is necessary that people are convinced of your competence, sufficient level knowledge. It doesn't always turn out easy task You can't self-advertise by saying how great you are, but there's always the possibility for someone else to do it.

And here it becomes insignificant whether this someone has income from your advertising or not. This method of persuasion was used by a certain legal bureau, which was able not only to increase the number of applications for legal advice, but also significantly increased the number of clients who turned to the firm's specialists for specific assistance. It was all about taking calls. The administrator, answering calls from potential clients, led the dialogue as follows: “Now I will transfer the call to Ernest Petrovich, he has been specializing in this issue for 15 years” and stuff like that. The result of this way of working with a client was an increase in requests for consultations by 20% and an increase by 15% of concluded contracts for the provision of legal services. Enough good result for an unobtrusive method of persuading people that does not require material investments.

• permanence

People strive for constancy in words and actions. To get people to act consistently, you need to invite people to do some kind of action, simple.

An experiment was carried out, during which it turned out quite interesting result. A small number of residents have agreed to install a sign in their yard advocating compliance with road safety rules. And in another area, they agreed to install the same sign four times more people, because they were prepared in advance, they offered to put a small campaign leaflet on the windowsill. This leaf has become Starting point to more difficult task and achieving a fourfold increase in effect. Therefore, intending to use such a technique, the persuaders act in such a way in relation to the person being convinced that they perform actions on a voluntary basis, and with some kind of enthusiasm. The best outcome of events is confirmation of actions in writing.

For example, one experiment resulted in an 18% reduction in failed doctor appointments. This was facilitated by the fact that patients were given the opportunity to issue an appointment ticket themselves, and earlier registrars were engaged in this.

• Location

People with great desire respond in the affirmative to the request if they feel sympathy for the person. Why do people feel sympathy? Experts identify several factors:

• We feel sympathy for people who are similar to us.
• We like those who praise us.
• We are connected with people by a common cause.

In a number of studies on the psychology of persuasion during negotiations, students of business schools of the faculty "Master of Business Administration" took part.

For one part of the students, the task was listed as "Time is money" and therefore negotiations had to be started immediately. The task of the other group was to find common ground between the negotiators. In the first case, 55% of students achieved a positive result, and in the second, 90%. In both cases, the result increased by 18%.

We can conclude that in order to use the “sympathy” tool in methods of working with beliefs, you need to approach this with particular care, pay attention to finding common ground with people, and achieve their location. It would be nice if, before you start negotiations, you make a couple of light, unobtrusive compliments.

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Tactical techniques of persuasion methods

• Application of "I-formulations"

In the negotiation process, it is enough a large number of time is allotted for discussion, criticism opposite side. The situation is significantly aggravated by distrust of the interlocutor or criticism of his personal distinctive features.

It is unacceptable to say “You are deceiving us”, “You and your employees are negotiating incorrectly”, “You are acting in an inappropriate way” and similar statements. The style of their construction - "You" -statements, contributes to the emergence of persistent hostility and opposition, shows that you do not trust the side, suspect it of something. And thus achieve the opposite of the desired result.

Such types of "I"-statements are allowed: "I feel that I am being deceived", "We feel that the negotiations are not being conducted properly."

• Acceptance of an unhurried objection

essence this method persuasion lies in the non-categorical rejection of the client's arguments. That is, objections are allowed in mild form. If categorical objections are put forward against the interlocutor's arguments, if they do not require them, then the latter receive additional weight, which is absolutely not needed in this situation.

• Delayed objection

There are cases when there is not immediately an argument that opposes the arguments of the interlocutor. In this case, you can postpone the answer to the interlocutor, and during the conversation try to find out as much as possible about the person, try to find out more about his position on this issue.

• Pressure

This method of persuasion is based on the principle of reinforcement. That is, the conversation is built in such a way that each argument is more significant in its persuasiveness than the previous one. The goal here is to undermine the position of the interlocutor, you need to make him doubt his own arguments, while not yielding the initiative, that is, the principle of "locomotive" operates. This technique is good when you see that the interlocutor is "floating". In other words, he tries to avoid the answer, or finds it difficult to answer. In this case, pressure, as a method of persuasion, will be ideal.

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What methods of psychological persuasion can be used

• Orders

An order is a form that requires precise, unconditional execution. When receiving an order or order, a person has no right to discuss it, but must execute it. Orders are of two types: prohibitive and incentive. Restraining orders (Stop! Silence!) are designed to instantly stop an unwanted action. To do this, you need a certain, developed tone. At the same time, the voice should be calm, slightly colored with shades of emotions. Incentive orders (Do! Do!) push a person to take an action. And such methods of persuasion should not cause negativity in a person, they should be taken for granted.

• Instruction Method

This method of persuasion works only in the case of a loyal attitude, with a certain degree of sympathy for the leader. The peculiarity of this method of persuasion is that, built in the form imperative mood, it activates "performing" behavior in a person. Instruction can manifest itself in the form of instructions, orders, prohibitions. The difference between an order and instruction is that an order activates existing skills, while instruction, in addition to motivation, has a teaching function.

The content of instruction, as with other forms of persuasion, is very important. A carefully thought-out text, the essence of the instruction, is the basis for the success of the reception. In addition, the tone of presentation, voice, intonation, pronunciation, facial expressions, gestures are very significant, since the imperative form of instruction itself requires certain behavioral norms from the leader.

• Approval indirectly

This method of persuasion involves evaluating the speech of the one who is trying to convince. Here it is unacceptable to use such direct expressions as: "You are undoubtedly right and your method is the most correct." This undisguised flattery, which, although loved by some people, is unpleasant for most, because a person knows that he can be deceived. AT this case, if you want to somehow praise the interlocutor, you need to use something like the following phrases: "Such ways of working are very effective." Thus, the leader activates a feeling in a person dignity. Naturally, tone and emotional accompaniment are the determining factor. This method of persuasion contributes to the continuation of activities in the same format.

It should be noted here that such a method of persuasion will not work with an egocentric with a heightened sense of self-worth. He does not perceive such methods, and for him such a presentation is a belittling of his capabilities.

• Unjustified expectation

For this method of persuasion to work, advance preparation is required. It is required to create in advance such a situation that will limit the interlocutor, that is, he will have to act only by the specified method. And subsequently this method should prove to be not justifying expectations, it should not work. Such a staging confuses the interlocutor, and of course, he accepts the position that is offered to him. This situation is typical for many aspects of life.

• Explosion method

Methods of persuasion in psychology differ in the effect of action. And one of these psychological techniques is the explosion method. It is based on the fact that, under the influence of some powerful emotional excitement, it rebuilds the personality. A. S. Makarenko substantiated this theory in a scientific way.

To apply the "explosion" method, you need to create a situation that will shock a person with surprise and unusualness. This undermines the nervous system of the interlocutor and causes panic, which leads to a radical change in views not only on ordinary things, but also on the worldview as a whole. Cases have been recorded when allegedly proven facts of infidelity of one of the spouses in the right families put the other in a catastrophic emotional situation. In families in which treason is perceived as a kind of pampering, this does not happen.

In a work team, the “explosion” method of persuasion can be used in relation to unreliable employees who violate discipline, bring confusion to the team, and often abuse alcohol. There are certain varieties of the method, the application of which depends on the situation. This may be a censure, help from the leadership, forgiveness of past "exploits". The main thing in this method of persuasion is sincerity, participation, you must provide the interlocutor with the opportunity to embark on the path of correction. Formal interest in the problem will not work here.

• Placebo or suggestion

This method of persuasion began to be used in medicine. Its meaning is that the doctor prescribes some remedy that has no effect, but convinces the patient that it is very effective for the treatment of his disease. This method of persuasion often results in positive dynamics during treatment with psychological mood patient. This technique began to be used by both educators and coaches, who in this way stimulated athletes to achieve heights. In pedagogy, this method of persuasion is very effective, but one must be careful with its application. Using it, you must be sure in advance that the result will be what you expect, otherwise, realizing that he was deceived, the person will lose faith, and the placebo will lose the effect.

• Firm requirement

The essence of this method of persuasion is an order. But it can be applied in the case when the leader enjoys unquestioning authority among subordinates. And the correctness of his judgments is not questioned. In other cases, this method of persuasion is meaningless and can even be harmful. A firm requirement can be synonymous with a prohibition with some degree of coercion.

• Recommendation

To work with this method of persuasion, you need the interlocutor to trust you. The delivery methodology for the perception of advice is especially important here. The leader's voice must be warm and sympathetic, sincerity must be felt, otherwise the method is not only ineffective, but may also turn against the adviser.

• Criticism

The method of persuasion "criticism" works in such a setting, when the person being convinced is identified with the person who convinces. That is, they let him know that they are in a “single team”. In other cases, criticism will be perceived simply as ordinary edification, which should not be paid special attention to. A person who is sensitive to his "ego" will perceive such a method of persuasion as an attempt to accuse him of lack of independence.

• hint method

This method of persuasion in human psychology works as follows: the interlocutor is given an idea in the form of irony, a joke, or drawing parallels. That is, it affects not the consciousness of a person, but his emotional environment. It is better to use this method of persuasion in an informal setting. And most importantly - do not offend the interlocutor. To do this, first apply this technique on yourself, what would you feel if you were presented with an idea in this way.

• Praise or compliment

A compliment is an unobtrusive method of persuasion that does not cause rejection in the interlocutor. A compliment should not look like flattery, unpleasant to many people. A compliment does not have such properties as flattery, so it can be quite effective.

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What forms of the method of persuasion should be used, based on the psychotype

Achieving the desired outcome of the negotiations does not always depend on the proposal. No matter how productive it is. The initial definition of the psychotype of the interlocutor makes communication with him more effective.

The psychotype is made up of genetically inherent features nervous system. Instant determination of the psychotype of the interlocutor allows you to build negotiations in such a way that success will be achieved. The psychotype can be identified by three parameters: emotions reflected on the face, speech, gestures. Below we consider six psychotypes of people most often found in business:

• Hyperthymes

This type seeks to acquire new knowledge through active communication. This type is the only one that is able to adapt to the other, adopting his traits, perhaps up to his absolute copying, which is very important.

How to reveal. Emotions reflected on the face - joy and surprise: wide open eyes and a parted mouth, horizontal lines run on the forehead. Emotional speech, a person speaks a lot and quickly. Gesticulation is active with a wide range of arms.

Communication tactics. Give such a person an opportunity to try something, but not to explore, but to see something new. Here the phrase will be effective: "You will see this for the first time." At the same time, if you sell the simplest product, affordable and popular, this does not negate the effectiveness of the latter. In special cases, with a product that is difficult to sell, seminars and various familiarization events work well.

• Paranoid

These people are chasing global goal often found in management and politics.

How to identify. Emotions on the face - disgust, determined by two nasolabial folds. The speech is built on a specific goal, without "water", perhaps add a few facts for greater effect. The gestures are open, facing the public.

Communication tactics. It's important to show the paranoid how much you can be of service to them. In order to realize something for them, it is necessary to present everything clearly and to the point, to tell about the product/service and its necessity for them. You can dilute the monologue with some facts for specifics.

• Schizoids

They believe that they are called to make the world a better place. Constantly improving and creating something. In Russia, a very common psychotype.

How to reveal. In the upper part of the face, emotions are visible in the form of wide-open eyes and stripes lying on the forehead. In the lower part of the face "petrified". In the construction of speech, secondary signs are priority, and then the main idea. There is no gesture or it differs from words.

Communication tactics. The psychotype of schizoids is characterized by research, in contrast to paranoiacs. You need to present the idea by giving Special attention details. Everything new for him is the basis of the foundations, he is interested first of all in the process, and then the profit from the product / service.

• epileptoids

Such people strive for continuous control and the achievement of stability in all areas of life. Businessmen of this type are former military men, or people who are accustomed to life according to the charter.

How to reveal. The basic emotions are anger, frowns, pursed lips, visible vertical wrinkles on the bridge of the nose. The speech is dominated by specifics, the pace is low, often colored negatively. Use restrictive expressions. The range of gestures is not wide with the use of clear, measured movements. You can watch how they grab the air with their hand.

Communication tactics. You will need absolutely all documentation related to the case. You must be 100% ready, you must know the answer to every question, you must not promise what you cannot fulfill. For them, the main thing is stability. You cannot manipulate eleptoids and ask questions that do not carry a semantic load.

• Hysteroids

People with high egocentrism. Often found in areas where self-promotion is required: "salespeople", advertisers.

How to reveal. It can be noted that basic emotion is "one-sided contempt" (a smile on the right or left side of the lips, pointing down). Speech, not burdened with clear arguments, but persuasive, have charisma that helps them achieve their goals. In gestures, plastic hand movements are used.

Communication tactics. An excellent method of persuading a hysteroid would be flattery, play on his egocentrism. In their case, the product is important, which not everyone can afford, but the elite, the price does not matter.

• Emotives

In the character there is empathy with the interlocutor, they are especially sensitive to others. They mainly dominate in the field of procurement, they are very responsible and do not know how to steal.

How to identify. On the face at the same time sadness and joy . Pierrot's Face. Mimic wrinkles around the eyes and raised eyebrows. Speech is quiet and calm. Very slowly get to the main idea of ​​the conversation, carefully choose expressions. lovers tactile contact, stroking movements can be observed among gestures.

Communication tactics. Do not mention the disadvantages and risks. Environmental friendliness, safety and quality of goods - these are the foundations that will attract him. The manipulative method of persuasion works with emotives and responds to requests for help. It is very important to follow etiquette and “play by his rules”, if he doubts your abilities, he will simply disappear from sight.

• How to convince to buy your product: 7 fail-safe tricks

Expert opinion

Harsh methods and means of persuasion are extreme but effective measures

Mikhail Urzhumtsev,

CEO JSC "Melon Fashion Group", St. Petersburg

I do not adhere to hard methods of persuasion and bypass difficult partners. The most important thing is not to leave the impression on the partner that he was “rolled over”. Otherwise, you will be associated with unsatisfying emotions, and he will no longer want to work with you. The most comfortable business stop and a bit of humor during negotiations are required.

There were situations when it was necessary to firmly defend their line of conduct. I recently had the opportunity to use non-standard method persuasion, which is more like talking like a man. In addition, for negotiations we have attracted people with more high positions. The first stage of negotiations can be entrusted to managers who know how to find a way out of non-standard situations and make decisions. The final part is a dialogue between directors and owners.

Argument as a method of persuasion

Using an argument as a method of persuasion is effective if you follow the rules:

• Tact

Do not maneuver on the pride of man. In no case should you offend him, try to humiliate him, so you are racking up an absolutely opposite result and you will never be able to convince him again.

• Start with strong arguments

Start a dialogue by giving all the most significant, powerful arguments. No need to beat around the bush. And then you can supplement the position with less significant facts.

• An indication of authority

Try to tell as much as possible about yourself, how competent you are in the matter, that you have been doing this for a certain amount of time, that you are familiar with all the details in detail, and most importantly, that you have managed to make good money on it.

• Correct wording

Word - powerful tool in the methods of persuasion, and therefore the use of such speech turns, as "Here you are right, everything is exactly like that, but here I do not support you." The person will see that you are paying attention to his thoughts, and will give it to yours.

• An unexpected compliment

In order to weaken the control of the interlocutor, to make him relax, you need to tell him a couple of unexpected compliments. So praise, but don't flatter.

• Tune in to the same wavelength with the interlocutor due to his consent

Follow the sequence rule: first give arguments with which the person initially agrees, and then indicate your position. This increases the chances of success.

• Avoid controversial points

Avoid moments that can aggravate the conflict, as well as your "weak points", otherwise you will not find arguments to prove the case. If such a moment suddenly “looks up”, urgently transfer the conversation to another topic.

• Watch out for the little things

Watch for gestures and facial expressions - they can tell a lot about a person. If you notice that when arguing an argument, a person began to get nervous, then continue to focus on this argument, it is the strongest.

• Positioning your words as useful

Make a person believe that your position will bring him some benefit and benefit, and his position is absolutely useless.

• Showing Interest

During a dispute, try to listen carefully to the interlocutor, even if he is unpleasant to you. He will notice that you are listening to him, even having the opposite position on this issue, and this fact will be deposited in his head. When choosing a partner, he will take this into account.

How persuasion works: an example for each option.

• Response method

Perfume sellers leave you a sample of perfume, and after a while they return to make an order and find out your opinion about the properties of the product. The perfume is really persistent, and the woman and all her entourage like the fragrance, and of course she will purchase at least one bottle from the seller.

• contrast method

Salespeople in a clothing store will first offer you a dress or suit, and then additional accessories such as a handbag or tie. Accessories are much cheaper than the dress itself, so you need to sell the more expensive item first.

• friendship method

Persuasion techniques work best when the person is outwardly attractive. Research has shown that physically attractive people are much more likely to have successful negotiations. A pleasant external appearance suggests that a person is more successful, talented, smart and honest. Therefore, to achieve success, try to follow the appearance.

• Wait method

In 1991, the people of Israel were warned of a possible chemical attack from Iraq. Issued special protective equipment. Later, ballistic missiles were fired at Israel, but chemical weapons were not used. The people of Israel began to turn to medical institutions with a request for help, allegedly feeling the effects of chemical weapons. This case shows how convincing the law of expectation can be.

• Association Method

Candidates for the presidency often turn to this technique during the election campaign. Candidates use the words of former presidents in the opposite party in their campaign speeches. For example, Republicans cite Democrats, thus endearing them to the latter. This method of persuasion, if properly handled, can significantly increase the number of votes.

• sequence method

President Clinton has lost the confidence of many citizens due to the fact that his course, which he adhered to after the election, did not coincide with the pre-election one. That is, people, seeing the inconsistency of actions, begin to look for another option.

• conformism method

For the most part, people are led and subject to public opinion. But usually public opinion very easily shaken, and this can play into the hands of masters of persuasion.

• Consumer behavior: types, management and motivation

Expert opinion

When the Best Persuasion Techniques Don't Work

Igor Loginov,

General Director and Founder of Veneta Systems, St. Petersburg

In 2007, the company had such an incident. Mass layoffs began in the logistics department, people did not want to work, they went on sick leave. The reason for this was the unhealthy atmosphere in the team. I tried absolutely every method of persuasion, which did not lead to anything.

What convinced the staff of the logistics department to work efficiently. I came up with this method of persuasion - the idea of ​​​​buying new cars for employees. Having bought new cars, I set a condition for people that they should redeem the property within five years. For many of them new car- This pipe dream, which got a chance to be implemented. Using this method of persuasion, I achieved a stable work of the team for the next five years.

Even taking into account the fact that the loan was paid by the company, this method of persuasion turned out to be not too costly. The loan amounted to 9 thousand rubles, and the driver's salary decreased by only 3 thousand, but the percentage of the bank was paid by the drivers themselves. In addition, we paid compensation for the use of personal vehicles. Therefore, this option was very beneficial for employees.

Results. This method of persuasion worked very well. . The company's costs per employee, of course, increased slightly, but its efficiency increased by 1.5 times. Credit prevented people from taking sick leave, quitting, or not going to work. Improved team discipline. New employees, seeing how others work, could not afford to work worse. Significantly reduced turnover. The situation in the department has stabilized. I was very pleased with the result.

Information about experts

Mikhail Urzhumtsev, General Director of OAO Melon Fashion Group, St. Petersburg. The St. Petersburg clothing company Melon Fashion Group owns the Zarina, befree and Love Republic chains.

Igor Loginov, CEO and founder of Veneta Systems, St. Petersburg. Field of activity: restoration of the printing properties of cartridges for printers, faxes and photocopiers. Number of personnel: 130. Annual turnover: 200 million rubles. (in 2013).

Irina Andreeva

When we hear about such a phenomenon as persuasion, we understand that we are talking about the next psychological tricks". There is a feeling that thoughts, attitudes or feelings will be imposed on a person against his will. In fact, this is not so. Persuasion and suggestion are not the same thing.

What is the difference between persuasion and suggestion

Persuasion is a term with two psychological interpretations. This is also an element of the individual's worldview, prompting him to act in a certain way (for example, not to enter into intimate relationship with a guy on a first date, because he behaves like that), and the process of transferring an element of worldview to another person (an example is to convince a friend that there is no sex, and this is exclusively correct).

Such a transfer of information or a life attitude to the addressee also occurs in the process of education, when parents or teachers teach children to act honestly, to come to the aid of those who need it and to be useful members of society. AT scientific disputes the truth is also born due to the opponent's conviction of the veracity of the put forward theory. As a rule, the speaker argues his own point of view, and the listener comprehends it and decides whether to agree with what was said or disagree. That is it conscious process perception of information and acceptance of it as one's own attitude. In the process of persuasion, therefore, a new personal conviction is born in a person.

Suggestion is a different process. It's aggressive. Bypassing the consciousness and critical thinking of a person, they impose on him an attitude that he must fulfill. Suggestion occurs through the subconscious, and the suggestible can only “blindly” assimilate information. Suggestion occurs with the help of hypnosis, pressure or emotional-volitional influence. It is believed that it is possible and mentally.

The conclusions from the above are as follows: persuasion is a person's conscious perception of information, implying its comprehension, and suggestion is a bypass critical thinking and impact on the subconscious. Persuasion requires a lot of time and effort from the one who wants to convey thoughts and attitudes, while suggestion happens faster and easier. Of course, you need to have the skills and abilities to psychological impact of such kind.

Types of persuasion

So, we decided to influence a person without bypassing his consciousness. How to convince? Start from the types of persuasion. This is the “base”, having studied which, you can apply techniques and methods to achieve the goal as soon as possible.

Informing. The addressee is provided full information about an object or phenomenon. If there are benefits, they are talked about first. So the shop assistant household appliances tells the buyer about the possibilities of the vacuum cleaner or hair dryer that interested him.
Explanation. This type of persuasion is used when certain points need to be clarified. The same seller will decrypt to the buyer specifications the power of the selected model will translate the numbers into advantages that this vacuum cleaner has over other similar ones.
Proof. He is referred to when data is asked to be accompanied by a visual representation or real facts. So the chemistry teacher shows the children the "Iodine Clock", demonstrating reversible reactions. The liquid in the flask turns black, and when it is stirred, a transparent “water” is obtained.
Refutation. If the opinion of the person being convinced differs from that which he should have as a result of the influence, this type of persuasion is used. In other cases, people themselves want to receive a refutation of the information. So Game of Thrones fans are waiting for a rebuttal in their favorite series. But neither the actors nor the creators of the project give it.

This “framework” of persuasive influence is the base upon which situational conditions are built. With a perfect match between the skills of persuading and environment and the readiness of the addressee to perceive information, the impact is doomed to success. Relaxed people and individuals who feel their own similarity and persuasive are easier to process.

Receptions and methods of persuasion

Choose a method of persuasion in each specific situation necessary according to the circumstances. But knowing the basic techniques of persuasion in psychology will help you figure out when to use them.

Instruction. If the convinced person (or their group) is favorable to the convincer, if he has, he instructs the listeners, urging them to behave in a certain way. In the form of instruction, the boss gives instructions working group: "Do it like this ... We will achieve that ...". So the teacher, moving away from the topic of the lesson, tells students about the moral side of a certain phenomenon. He does this, relying on his experience and authority.
Commands and orders. They are also resorted to, having authority in front of the audience. It is important that orders are carried out, and for this, the person being persuaded should not be critical of them. So, to a request to collect toys coming from dad or grandmother, the baby reacts differently if the father is strict, and the grandmother indulges and shows softness.
Advice. If there is closeness and trust between people, this form of persuasion is applied. need to be able to. Do it kindly, benevolently.
Hint. It is classified as a method of indirect persuasion, tk. information is not communicated directly, but in the form of a half-joke, a comparison. The hint refers not to the thinking of a person, but to emotions. Use this persuasion technique when the other person is in a playful mood.
indirect approval. If a person generally acts in right direction, this method is used. His mission is not to let him turn off the intended path. Why is the approval only indirect? If expressed directly, it is like flattery, which scares a person. It is not always appropriate with pressure, looking intently into the eyes of the interlocutor, to say: “You are such a good fellow! That's how you get your way!" More convincing is the phrase: "This approach usually gives a good result."

"Placebo". The placebo effect is known in medicine. The doctor gives the patient a harmless remedy like ascorbic acid and says that this is an effective medicine that will relieve the disease. A person believes in a favorable outcome of treatment and is really healed. Using this technique, you can convince the interlocutor that he will achieve what he wants. Give the child a talisman that can be with him on control work or an important sporting event. Say, "As long as this thing is with you, you can achieve what you dream of if you put in the effort." You'll see, your baby will succeed.

These techniques and methods are familiar to everyone, there is nothing "such", intricate in them. But in the art of persuasion there are secrets associated with the names of three famous personalities in history.

Three rules of persuasion

They are named after the sages and scientists who used them many centuries ago. These rules are still used in the art of persuasion.

Homer's rule. Prepare carefully for the upcoming persuasion and select arguments in your favor. Arguments are conditionally divided into strong, medium and weak. Homer's rule implies that persuasion should be started with strong ones, then two or three medium ones should be added, and it is better to finish everything with the most strong argument. Do not use weak ones at all, because they will not help to achieve results. Don't start with what you want from the person, don't say what he should do. This will cause a reaction of rejection. Therefore, give the arguments and in the specified sequence.

The Rule of Socrates, or the Rule of Three Yes. Socrates was a sage who mastered the art of persuasion. His secret was that when asking questions, not to allow the interlocutor to answer any of them negatively. At the same time, the persuaded person is skillfully led to independently accept an alien point of view. This technique is being taught to network consultants today. So if a person comes to you who will offer the products of a little-known company, starting as if from afar, do not give in. You may be asked about health: “Agree, everyone wants to be healthy?”. Give obvious facts: “Did you know that the human body consists mainly of water?”, “Pure water is very important for health, isn’t it?”. And then they go on the offensive: "You're thirsty clean water? And so that your loved ones and children drink only clean water? If henceforth you answered in the affirmative, you will be offered a “miracle filter” for water for big money.
Pascal's rule. Save the face of the interlocutor, do not drive him into a corner. Do not humiliate the dignity of a person in persuasion, do not encroach on the freedom or authority of his personality. A person does not agree with facts that discredit dignity, and negative conviction does not work. As Pascal himself said: "Nothing disarms like the terms of an honorable surrender." Example − tax law USA. In America, it is forbidden to withhold information from the tax authorities. Society condemns it. However, the instruction for taxpayers contains a clause: “You can also declare illegal income by paying deductions from it.” And the citizens of the United States do so, knowing that they will not be called criminals and will not be fined.

The art of persuasion is an interesting and fascinating science. But practice is much more exciting and rewarding. Theoretical base learned, so move on to action!

March 2, 2014

ABILITY TO CONSURE

One Eastern sage believed that the purpose of eloquence is to induce people to what they do not want, to turn away from what they are striving for, and at the same time to create in them the confidence that they are acting of their own free will. Without disputing this somewhat one-sided understanding of the goals of rhetoric, we only note that the ability to persuade has occupied human minds for about as long as mankind has existed. This problem remains open to this day. For example, in one of the works on this topic - "The leader and the ability to convince" - Professor I. D. Ladanov outlined modern ideas on this subject. In his opinion, to be able to convince means to be able to perform four important operations.

Inform. First of all, a person must know why what you offer him is needed. Therefore it is not necessary spare time to sensibly tell what's what. It is useful to take into account the temperament of the listener. The choleric will prefer the deductive path - that is, first present the big picture, and then move on to the details. The question for which the conversation is going on must be put at the end, otherwise the impatient choleric will not be interested in listening to everything else. The phlegmatic, on the contrary, prefers to go from individual facts to generalizations, and therefore it is better to start with the formulation of the problem, then he will be attentive to details. But in any case, regardless of temperament, it is useful to see in the listener an independent and thinking person, and not a thoughtless executor of your ideas.

Explain. This should also be done in different ways, depending on the nature of the interlocutor. Instructing is useful when you just need to remember something - the order of actions, a list of tasks, etc. Those who are used to acting according to instructions will not mind if they put everything on the shelves for them. But this approach is not very suitable for creative people who prefer to talk. To pose a problem, analyze all the pros and cons, and together with the interlocutor, or even find the right answer on their own, is the most suitable form of cooperation for them.

It is difficult to count on success if you have a few read-through thoughts somewhere in your asset - albeit true, but strangers. They can't stand against the beliefs - maybe, and the erroneous ones - of your opponent. So first try to argue with yourself : look for additional arguments, examples, select the most convincing ones! Do not save on arguments: just one is not enough, and you will lose.

3. Prove. For this, first of all, facts are needed. With such arguments as “Yes, you understand, finally, I wish you well”, you will not go far. Therefore, you should not get involved in a discussion without having serious arguments in your favor behind your soul.

4. Refute. This occupation is not harmless, because in this case the opponent's self-esteem often suffers and, wanting to “save face”, he becomes deaf to logic. “It is useless to argue with him,” they say in such cases. Psychologists believe that there is no point in arguing at all. Having proved the inconsistency of the opponent's position, we are in Best case, let's keep him quiet. But will he become our ally? Hardly, because changing views takes time. A quick victory is certainly impressive, but it doesn't produce results. Psychologists recommend remembering three socio-psychological rules:

Appeal to self-esteem. According to the classic, it is a fraction, in the numerator of which is the opinion of others about a person, and in the denominator is his self-esteem. People with a developed sense of self-esteem prefer to stand firm in their position, while those suffering from conceit either pointlessly persist, or easily agree, just not to seem ridiculous. But both of them feel great when the opponent respects their “I” and makes it clear - a form of appeal, an incentive to independent reflections, initiative; take into account the interests of the person. If you let the interlocutor feel that your proposals not only do not contradict his interests, but also coincide with them in some way, then the chances of attracting him to your side increase. We can talk, for example, about reputation, prestige, belonging to a certain social group, the realization of one's own capabilities, etc.;

pay attention to the interlocutor. This will put him to you and help you better understand each other. But only: no need to pretend, insincerity is immediately felt.

Before laying out your arguments, it is useful to make sure that they are better perceived. The necessary conditions have long been known - sufficient time for conversation, a favorable environment where you can sit quietly, and, of course, at least relative silence. Without this, it will be difficult for you and your interlocutor to create a “concert mood” in yourself. The essence of this term, proposed by the Bulgarian psychiatrist G. Lozanov, is that a person who is tuned in a relaxed way perceives information more readily.

impact on people." At one time, opponents of any kind of tricks hastened to declare it a manual for beginner hypocrites. Following this logic, you will have to cancel and generally accepted rules etiquette: we cannot always vouch for the sincerity of the one who, upon meeting, wishes us to be well. On the other hand, the rules of persuasion, like the rules of politeness, can hardly prevent someone from remaining sincere, just as they cannot make a hypocrite a model of honesty.

It makes no sense to retell this book, it has already been published in our country, and therefore we will limit ourselves to brief conclusions.

1. The only way to win an argument is to avoid it.

2. Show respect for the opinion of your interlocutor. Never tell a person they are wrong.

3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and decisively,

4. Keep your tone friendly from the start.

5. Make the interlocutor immediately answer you “yes”, that is, start your reasoning with a question on which there is no disagreement.

6. Let most time your interlocutor says.

7. Let the interlocutor believe that this thought belongs to him.

8. Sincerely try to see things through the eyes of another.

9. Be sympathetic to the thoughts and desires of others.

10. Trust the interlocutor, contact him best qualities, appeal to noble motives.

11. Dramatize your ideas, present them effectively.

12. Challenge, touch a nerve.

Now suppose that you have to convince a person who already has his own opinion, or tell him something not very pleasant about his success or behavior. At the same time, you do not want to offend him at all, or even more so to quarrel. In such a case, Carnegie has 9 more tricks in his arsenal.

1. Begin with praise and sincere recognition of the interlocutor's merits.

2. Don't talk directly about mistakes. Give the person the opportunity to “save face” and at the same time make it clear what you expect from him.

3. Before criticizing others, start with your own mistakes.

4. Instead of commanding, it’s more useful to ask: “Could you do this?”

5. Give people the opportunity to save their prestige.

6. Praise the person for the slightest success- Sincerely and generously.

7. Create a good reputation for people, which they will try to justify.

8. Show that the mistake made can be easily corrected.

9. Find a way to make sure that your request is fulfilled with desire.

These rules, of course, do not exhaust the vast area of ​​human relationships touched upon by the American psychologist. ID Ladanov cites, for example, such methods of persuasion;

“False expectations."

“Explosion". The technique proposed by A. S. Makarenko is to put a person in such conditions when an unexpected and unusual event or information makes him change his point of view. For example, many cases are known when religious people became atheists after learning about the unseemly behavior of the holy fathers. However, the fall of exaggerated authorities can sometimes push the unbeliever to break with dogmas.

Recall that the secret of persuasiveness is not at all in protracted monologues. Here, for example, are the figures given by the well-known specialist in the field of management P. Mitsich in the book “How to conduct business conversations”: if we take the intended message as 100%, then the spoken will be 70% of the intended, heard - 80% of the expressed, understood - 70 % of what is heard, and only 60% of what is understood will be remembered.

According to psychologists, about nine out of ten people do not know how to listen. And this applies, unfortunately, not only to your interlocutor, but also to you. The ability to listen consists, according to ID Ladanov, of three terms.

BUT. Attention

1. Respect the speaker, appreciate his desire to communicate something new.

2. Connect with him at the beginning of the conversation, making it clear that you are sincerely ready to listen.

3. Do not hide your eyes, look at the interlocutor,

4. Don't interrupt. Be patient and let the person say what they want.

5. Don't jump to conclusions.

B. Friendliness

2. Don't let your emotions run wild. When you feel that you do not control them, imagine yourself in the place of the interlocutor.

3. Do not rush to object. By interrupting a person who has not said everything, we arouse his annoyance, and she will not allow him to agree with the objections. Discharged, he will listen much more willingly.

4. Do not demonstrate with all your appearance disregard for what the interlocutor has said or will only say. So you can't agree on anything.

5. Take breaks. Cool down your ardor, and at the same time let the other person speak.

B. Activity

1. Do not be silent, from time to time give signals that you understand what it is about, and you have a certain attitude to what was said.

2. Restraint is an excellent quality, but even here a measure is needed. Otherwise, the interlocutor may suspect that you treat him badly.

3. Do not try to pass for a nerd. Ornate sophistication does not contribute to mutual understanding.

4. Be relaxed, but do not relax to such an extent that the speaker loses the desire to communicate.

5. If you are tired, it is better to apologize and postpone the conversation. “Invisible” yawning and stretching can ruin everything.

Pay attention not only to the words of the interlocutor, but also to their subtext. What, for example, is this statement about: “Many of whom I considered friends turned out to be in fact completely different. However, maybe I want too much from them?

Is it about the fact that when you get to know people better, disappointment is inevitable? Or about being kind to people? Or maybe a desire to find other friends is expressed here? To understand all this, we must try to look at the world through the eyes of the interlocutor,

Test your listening skills. Answer the following questions with a score. Always - 4 points, often - 3, sometimes - 2, never - 1 point.

Do you give the other person the opportunity to speak?

Do you pay attention to the subtext of the statement?

3. Do you try to remember what you heard?

4. Do you pay attention to the main thing in the message?

6. Do you draw the attention of the interlocutor to the conclusions from his message?

7. Do you suppress your urge to avoid uncomfortable questions?

8. Do you refrain from becoming annoyed when you hear the opposite point of view?

9. Do you try to keep your attention on the words of the interlocutor?

10. Are they willing to talk to you?

Calculate your points. 32 or more - excellent, 27-31 - good, 22-26 - mediocre. Less than 22 points - you need to practice listening to your interlocutors.

And this test will help you to conclude how your discussions affect relationships with people. Rate each statement on a 4-point scale, recalling specific situations.

1. My interlocutor is not stubborn and looks at things broadly.

2. He respects me.

3. Discussing various points view, we look at the depot in essence. Little things don't bother us.

4. My interlocutor understands that I strive for a good relationship.

5. He always appreciates my statements.

6. During the conversation, he feels when to listen, and when to speak.

7. When discussing a conflict situation, I am restrained.

8. I feel when my message is interesting.

9. I like to spend time in conversations.

10. When we come to an agreement, we know well what each of us should do.

11. If necessary, my interlocutor is ready to continue the discussion.

12. I try to meet his requests.

13. I believe his promises,

14. We both try to please each other.

15. My interlocutor usually speaks to the point and without unnecessary words.

16. After discussion different points view I feel it is useful to me.

17 In any situation, I avoid too harsh expressions.

18. I sincerely try to understand the interlocutor.

19. I can count on his sincerity.

20. I believe that a good relationship depends on both.

21. After unpleasant conversation we usually try to be attentive to each other and do not hold grudges.

By counting the points, you will get three results. Mutual support - the sum of points for lines No. 2, 5, 9, 12, 14, 18, 20.

Coherence in communication - No. 1, 4, 6, 8, 1.1, 15, 19. Conflict resolution - No. 3, 7, 10, 13, 16, 17, 21. 21 points and above are taken as the norm. If there is a shortage of mutual support, then you should be more attentive to the interlocutor. Poor coherence in communication is a symptom that the communication itself took place in an unfavorable environment - haste, lack of reason for discussion, etc. Finally, if the difficulties are with resolving the conflict, then you need to actively look for ways to mutual understanding.

An integral characteristic is the ability, ability, and perhaps magical talent to influence other people.

A person who knows how to convince and direct the thoughts of the people around him in the direction he needs has incredible opportunities in modern world.

Let's take a look at the main ways influence people during the conversation, that is psychological methods beliefs.

It is very undesirable to use your own powers, connections, money or blackmail, you can influence both by the power of the word and the power of the look. So, the group of basic psychological methods includes persuasion, suggestion and psychological infection.

Persuasion is a way of influencing when one turns to the consciousness of another person, his feelings and experience in order to form new views and attitudes in him.

Persuasion will not work if it is replaced by moralizing. Avoid words such as "should", "should" or "shame on you". To convince with a word is a great art that requires knowledge of human psychology, the laws of ethics and logic.

To begin with, it is necessary that your interlocutor agrees to listen carefully and meaningfully to your arguments, find something in common that unites you and establish psychological contact.

Then it will be advisable to analyze all the arguments together and come to a conclusion. general conclusion. Thus, the influence on a person will not be intrusive, but, on the contrary, will correspond to his thoughts, feelings and views.

If you manage to tune in to the wave of a person at the time of the conversation, you will see that half of the work is already done, and influence people who think the way you do is much easier than people with opposite views.

Even if you do not fully share the person's beliefs, try to feel his thoughts, and simply understand him. Understanding gives birth to the beginning of all partnerships. Understanding the interlocutor is sometimes much easier than it might seem at first glance.

A little practice on your loved ones and friends will help develop the skill of understanding to perfection.

Suggestion is psychological way influence that does not critical perception expressed thoughts and will. During suggestion, agreement is not achieved, but the acceptance of information that already contains a ready conclusion is ensured.

Using this information, the person being influenced must come to the correct conclusion you need. The goal is achieved due to the fact that a person causes strong emotional reactions. The main forms of suggestion are a hint, approval, condemnation.

Psychological contagion- transfer process emotional state from one person to another on an unconscious level. Often, this method is used in groups of people or collectives.

For example, correctly presented information about the success of one person infects others with enthusiasm, causing interest and enthusiasm, not envy.

In addition to the above basic methods, do not forget about more simple truths to be remembered if desired. influence a person during communication.

Often call the interlocutor by name, because for his ears there is nothing sweeter. Know how to listen and be sincerely interested in what they are talking about, this always leads to a successful outcome of the dialogue.

And of course, smile more often, be an optimist! You will be surprised by the response of the world around you, which will submit to your sincere influence.