How well you live your life, in what direction, negative or positive, depends on you.
Skill plays an important role in this. accept any circumstance: and unpleasant situations, and painful conditions, and social conflicts.
In order to gain the skill of "acceptance", we suggest understanding what it is and how you can learn to accept.
What is acceptance
Acceptance is new level of understanding. This is the understanding that everything that happened to you, for some reason you need it. Understanding that the problem always comes from within you outward, and is manifested from within by external circumstances. You receive what you broadcast to the World.
The Outside World is signaling you, through the situation, to which pay attention to yourself.
Understanding that accepting the situation does not mean accept injustice what is happening about you does not mean submitting to circumstances.
Accept this:
- Agree that the situation has already been created and that we need to move on based on the presence of this fact.
- Agree that it is impossible to change events, but you can understand them differently.
- Find the reason why this situation has arisen in your life, and understand how to act so this doesn't happen to you.
What is important to learn to accept
#1 Accept yourself
It is difficult for a person to accept himself when he dissatisfied with himself.
To accept yourself means to accept all your strengths and weaknesses. agree that human being imperfect.
Recognize that you you have the right to make mistakes that you don't have to be perfect in everything.
And that you don't have to live up to others' expectations of you, no need to please.
#2 Accept other people
It's hard to accept others if you don't understand that the people who hurt you (from your point of view) are really are not a source pain. Through such people, circumstances show you what you need to pay attention to in yourself.
You will not be able to accept the situation with one person, you will blame him, a similar situation will arise with others.
Because the world will signal to you: “pay attention to the source in Yourself”, until you realize the essence of the problem itself.
When you accept the people around you, you realize that people are unfair in relation to others. At the same time, you do not evaluate the actions of people and do not condemn them. Do you understand that people cannot match your expectations.
Acceptance of another person can be compared to maternal acceptance. Mother easily accepts pranks and any actions of a small unreasonable child.
Acceptance is the ability to understand that a person will NEVER change.
#3 Acceptance of the situation (circumstances)
To accept circumstances means to agree that there are things in this life that do not correspond to your vision and perception of the World. What everything has its place. Both what you perceive positively and what you perceive negatively.
Since the concepts of “positive” and “negative” are relative. As well as the concepts of “good and bad”, “difficult and easy”, “ nice man and unpleasant." All these qualities are endowed when the assessment is given. And it is not at all necessary that what you like will please others.
Or what is unpleasant for you, it is likely that others will delight. Because the criteria for evaluation and perception are different for everyone.
For example the weather. After all, there are days when she is not pleasant to you. But you accept This fact and don't try to change the weather. And just because you don't like rain, for example, doesn't mean it's a natural phenomenon everyone else doesn't like it. There will always be people who love the rain.
Why is it important to learn acceptance?
By not accepting, the person thereby spends a lot of energy, energy and time resisting circumstances. If a person cannot accept circumstances, he constantly replays what happened in his thoughts, and worries every time on this occasion. By doing so, a person only destroys itself both emotionally and physically.
It is also important to understand that in your life there will be no less unpleasant situations and disappointments, but having learned to accept, you will thereby begin to act not to your detriment.
First of all, the ability to accept you personally need, and not to participants in events that are unpleasant for you.
It does not matter what events occur in the outside world, it is important how you react to these events.
Rejection can be compared to a poisonous drink that you yourself drink but expect harm to be done to the “bad” person. That is, to accept, this is first of all take care of yourself.
By learning to accept, a person becomes a more harmonious personality. It becomes stronger, calmer, more balanced, free from dogmas and opinions.
Such a person difficult to manipulate.
How to learn to accept
Step 1. Agree "Yes, it happened"
Do not confuse this point with humility.
To accept means to accept that the situation is inevitable, that you are ready to drag the hardships of adversity for the rest of your life. put up with it submit to circumstances.
And to accept the situation means to accept that it has already happened, but at the same time to understand that there is always a way from any situation, and from this one too. And as a rule, there is more than one way out.
It remains only to find this way out.
Step 2. Find the reason "why it happened"
Each situation contains "pearl of wisdom".
Think about why this situation happened to you. Realize what's important she highlights you.
Thank all the participants in the events, do not forget about yourself, for a new vision of what happened.
Step 3. Move on without looking back
For example: you left the house, and it is raining outside. You had to go back for an umbrella. You will not be offended and complain about the rain, that it is inopportune for you.
Even if you grumble, you certainly won’t hang in this state for a long time.
Take it as a fact and proceeding from this position, another time, before leaving, look out the window and grab the necessary items at once so that you don’t have to return.
3 techniques to adopt
Technique #1 Inhale Acceptance
We offer you a very simple practice for accepting everything and everything.
It is called the Breath of Acceptance and is performed in the morning as soon as you wake up.
- Come to the window, greet the new day and declare your readiness accept any events in your life that will happen to you today.
- Ask the Higher Powers to help you and guide you in difficult times.
- Express intent see depth and wisdom in every step, in every circumstance of the coming day.
- Take a deep breath, joyfully accepting all the gifts of this day!
#2 Self Acceptance Affirmations
Do you want to increase self-acceptance and trust in the world in life by doing everything 5 minutes a day?
How to let go? This is a question that worries individuals who have experienced a difficult life situation and wish to quickly find its solution. Not every individual understands the meaning of how to let go of a situation. Some individuals believe that this is fundamentally impossible, it will haunt them constantly. However, the individual still has hope, and he is zealous to find an answer, how to let go of the situation, how to start living anew, and stop worrying about painful things? If a person often thinks about this, then she should collect her volitional efforts and let go of the disturbing situation forever.
A person seeking to understand how to learn to let go of the situation must first analyze his problem. You need to concentrate on it and take it apart, think about what specifically worries:, unspokenness, hidden feelings (, resentment).
A person trying to figure out how to let go of a situation should know: no matter how old this situation is, a year, a month or a couple of days, if it does not leave you alone, then it makes sense for a person. A person living in past events will not be able to calmly continue to live and build the future.
To let go of the situation, you should think carefully and then decide what can be done now with this problem, which can bring results right now. The main thing is not to be inactive, because in this way the situation will drag on, and it will be even harder to let her go.
To let go of the situation, you should muster up the courage and do everything necessary to help you let go of the forcing feelings, if earlier in right moment the person was afraid, did not want to, did not dare to say or do what was right. It will be possible to let go of the problem when a person dares to do everything necessary for this.
Sometimes, in order to let go of a problem situation, you need to distract yourself from it. It should be considered why current situation a person cannot experience personal happiness, live a free life, is life really so monotonous that there is nothing to do but reproach oneself.
You should not assume that life will become better, solely with the achievement specific purpose Or if there is a certain person nearby. The idea that it is impossible to be happy without it will not allow a person to personally grow and develop further, all the more, negative thoughts will only confuse the person. It is necessary to believe that everything will turn out for the best, as time passes, and with it all feelings are smoothed out, anger passes, resentment does not seem so serious.
In order to change life, correct mistakes, let go of the situation, one should be in an upbeat good mood, because a person is trying to change everything for the better, which means a positive result. Optimism is not an indicator of a person's frivolity, as some people think, it allows him to be firm in his intentions and strengths, and it means that he understands his main goal and task well.
Many are unable to let go of the situation, they live it, feed on the sensations that they experience, scrolling through certain moments in their heads each time. These people are dependent on external factors, therefore they are unable to let go of their situation and find a solution to it.
Of course, a problematic situation can be oppressive, so you should allow yourself to become happy. To do this, you should sincerely forgive yourself for failures and past mistakes, let them go. It is necessary to realize that mistakes or actions brought experience. It is worth letting go of the past and starting to live again, relying on the foundation of past mistakes, let in the light and fill your life with it.
How to let go - psychology
During a showdown, people become very emotional, strong feelings they cover with their heads, and people no longer find out, but each prove their case, without hearing the interlocutor and often pronouncing the thoughts that appear in the head, to which the individuals themselves do not give an account. This is how problems are born that become more significant than the original ones.
How to learn to let go of the situation and stop thinking about the situation all the time certain time to refresh your thoughts. The more you think and “rethink” a situation, the more complex and confusing it will seem. Remembering various details, a person will become more and more angry or sad. This will make the situation worse, and certainly will not help to let it go and fix it.
Hello, help with advice, we lived together for 4 years, after 3.5 years I made a beautiful proposal with friends at a wedding, then this friend went to work in another city and only his wife remained here. My martyr very often went to her, as they always communicated very well, sometimes I also went with him, everything was fine, but then on his birthday everyone drank a lot and I caught them kissing. There was a big scandal, she was kicked out of the house with things, he came, asked for forgiveness, said that he would never do this again, they say, he was a fool, he drank too much, he himself does not know what came over him. Before, I always trusted him and he didn’t even give reasons for jealousy, I was happy that I had finally found a worthy man. I cried a lot, there were tantrums, it’s very sad that he betrayed me, he saw it all. He lost a friend who left to work, this friend and his wife decided not to get divorced. And everything is messed up with us, now we don’t see each other, because he says that it hurts him to look into my eyes, it hurts that he caused me so much suffering, yesterday we broke up completely, because I can’t sit and wait for him to come to his senses , not the fact that he will then decide to continue to be together. But I wrote to him that I forgive him. Why is he beating himself up like this? Is there any point in hoping that everything will work out for us, I’m sure that I want to be with him, but I can’t say anything for him, unfortunately, he says that he doesn’t know anything himself, and now only guilt gnaws at him. He did not want to leave, he said that if fate means we will be together, he asked for time.
Hello Irina. It is possible that your man rethought what happened and he would not have acted soberly. From the outside, he appreciated all the pain that he caused you and considers himself unworthy to be with you. It's easier for him. Until he forgives himself, there will be no reunion.
Good evening. After reading everything, I decided to write. The situation is this. I have family. He has too. We work in the same industry, but live in different cities. He is 12 years younger. Everything was normal, work and all. And suddenly butterflies flared up inside me. I really want this person. I've been thinking about him every day for almost a year now. In principle, we are in touch 24 hours a day, but only for work. And so I decided to hint to him that I was working with him not because of business, but in order for him to be around for some time. He pretended not to understand, although there were tears in my eyes. He has a principle that if he works with someone, then no, no. In networks, he reposts my photos to his page. There are more of my photos than all the rest together. And how am I to understand this? I'm not going to intermeddle in his family, I just madly want not only intimacy, just warm, affectionate words. What to do? Thanks in advance for your reply.
Good evening. Please tell me if it is possible to make peace with a girl after such a conflict, in short, it was like this - we met with a girl for 4 years, she kept hinting to me that I should make her proposals, but I was silent and silent, saying please be patient a little, everyone started together to live, and then she recently told me that, like, you can spend the night with your mother, I need to think, I went well to my mother and spent the night. He left for work in the morning, worked for the day, and in the evening I took her from work, and then she writes to me on VK for me, I don’t have to come, I’ll come myself. In the evening she writes to me to pick up things, we all part ways, I thought up my decision all night and I won’t change my decision, I tell her forgive me, let’s start all over again, she doesn’t, well, she asked everything, she begged, she took everything all right , gone. Two days later I bought her a ring, flowers for her and my mother-in-law, and I wanted to propose, but she was not at home. I was driving from work by bus, well, without hesitation, I went to my mother-in-law and gave flowers to my mother-in-law, talked to my mother-in-law, like how should I be with my girlfriend, will she forgive me or not. The mother-in-law says Valerie, I’ll talk to her, don’t worry, okay, I started to hope, then my mother-in-law writes to me, she doesn’t want to and she’s crying all over I had her very first boyfriend, and maybe I will (((then my girlfriend she calls back herself says come to me, we’ll talk to you, okay, I came and talked, I gave her the ring and said marry me, she cries a lot no, I won’t go and that’s it, then I still persuaded her to put the ring on everything I put on her put on my hand and left, then she calls me back and says give me a month if I feel bad without you, we will get together, and if not, then we will all say goodbye, I’m fine with her.Two days pass, I went to the store where she works, I knew that she is resting that day, and everyone came to the store and there she saw me, she came to her girls, she saw me again burst into tears all over and left. Tell me to wait for a positive answer or is she already set to part (((thanks in advance for answer
Good evening, Valery. Your girlfriend herself does not understand what is happening to her or understands, but does not want to voice the problem. We recommend that you leave her in your thoughts, do not disturb, but if there is a desire to renew the relationship, in two months you can “accidentally” meet her, take an interest in her life. One month is not enough, but two months will be enough for the girl to understand herself, her feelings and whether she wants to be with you. Then again you can raise this topic by inviting you on a date, where to create a romantic atmosphere, thereby laying the foundation for new courtship for her. For two months, do not call or write to her - let her "cook" in her experiences on her own. Be cold. This will make her miss you. Women do not always appreciate who persistently "runs" after them. You can answer her SMS (with restraint, politeness, without specifics), but do not write first.
Hello. My situation, in my opinion, is not very serious, but does not let go. When I was 16 years old, I met a guy older than me, well, they met nothing more, broke up on his initiative, met another, and our relationship was at a distance. There was no meaning, but there was passion). They broke up without seeing each other, the guy and this girl got married.
They lived happily. after a while we had to meet, a common company. I am with my current husband, mutual friends and they. I calmly treated them as one whole, but the girl's behavior surprised me. She ignored me, if she took pictures, then so that I was not in the photo, well, everything like that. As time passed they gave birth. A year later, I have a wedding, pregnancy and suddenly the attitude of this girl changes. She invites all her friends to visit, including us. We talked surprisingly normally for a while, but one day, being in the world, she let me know that she couldn’t even imagine that one of her husband’s ex-girlfriends would sit in front of her ... Everything turned upside down for me at that moment. For me, her words sounded different - she saw his ex in me all this time. My trust in her began to disappear. Then I began to notice that she began to imitate me in the choice of clothes, in the photo poses repeating mine, and her attitude towards me became “from above”. And now I'm 25, for a long time I was afraid to interrupt this communication with them, but I understood that there was nothing good in them for me. Even remembering our trips to them, I persuaded myself to go and always doubted. She began to get rid of it gradually, and provocations on her part pushed, first from social network I deleted it because it got annoying. Then we stopped seeing each other. It seems to me that I began to hate her, apparently this is an insult for her words and actions, far from everything I have described here. Maybe she didn't do it on purpose, but still not pleasant. I want to tell her what I think about her, but I also don’t want to show things off. Now for some reason I think about it all the time, I'm tired, but I still think, I understand that everything is enough, but the thought does not leave me. Although I deleted it from social networks, I wanted to get rid of it, but in the end I myself observe their life and began to compare myself with it, I want them to disappear forever from my life, and I understand that everything is in my head. It seems to me that before she hated me and compared herself with me, but now it’s the other way around. In general, here.
Hello. I read all the above stories .. But I have a different one. I dated a married man for three and a half years. The relationship was one-sided - he had a good family, he was a fan of being very young in his youth. I am 53 years old, he is the same age. We met for intimacy, but I painted “love” in my pink glasses, which was not on his side at all. We have already cursed and reconciled several times. He always returned, was affectionate, but after two or three months he again became cruel and harsh. I will make a reservation that he is quite wealthy, but very greedy. that any disagreement of mine immediately led to a scandal. According to him, I scandalized, although many times he was very rude. But he always returned and again the same “rake”, And here is another parting. I didn’t like how he behaved , I told him, he sharply replied that he might not come at all and was not going to dance around me. By nature, he is a rather cruel person. I have some kind of painful attachment to him that I want to break. .I want to stop all this, but I don’t know how to force myself to really look at the fact that a person is married and he met with me only for the sake of intimacy, I came up with “luboFF” for myself. Tell me. I read a lot of articles on the topic, I myself really see that a person has been a goof all his life, but an excellent family man. I was simply used. she suffered a lot, because this has already happened many times. But there is not enough communication. Although I also know that he liked it, but most likely it was just a mask, because he is a reveler in life, and now he already has there is no desire to walk. He stopped at me, because it is beneficial from all sides. And I don’t know how to set myself up for rupture and neglect. Tell me a pill))
Hello, tell me how to drown out the pain.
Recently I found out that my beloved person lied to me, that he does not communicate and does not see the former, with whom I forbade communication.
And I also found out that when we broke up, there was one time, he slept with the former.
I consider this a betrayal, since he was in another city and we decided to renew our relationship and it was at that moment that he changed.
This truth came out by accident, the former herself said.
We love each other very much.
I forgave him, although it hurt a lot. This burden that betrayed me inside me...
I trusted him more than anyone else.
Of course, he regretted what happened between them then, he cried and just forgiveness ..
tried to make amends, made surprises.
I believe in his Love, and I myself love him more than life ..
His lies were only related to his ex.
So he never cheated on me and never lied to me.
I was very jealous of his ex, he was afraid to lose me, afraid to tell the truth, because when I found out that they once walked in a company and there was an ex, I beat him, broke his phone and much more ...
Sometimes emotions take over. I am very jealous of him.
But after all this, I’m afraid that I won’t be able to trust him anymore .. it hurts me that he betrayed me ...
how to start trusting again? How to let go of the pain? How should a guy behave? Tell me please
Hello. Can't let go of a work situation. Long time worked in the same place. Went on maternity leave. I really wanted to change my job, there were reasons for such a decision - the salary was average, and the team changed during my decree, and personal grievances there were small. And she made messages to the Universe, and made a map of desires - it worked! Offered a job with good prospects and salary. You have to quit your old job. I worked for two days and panicked. I had to stay late at work, I was not ready for this - I was not ready not to see my daughter for so long. Although she already went to kindergarten. I found a bunch of excuses and reasons for myself, and refused this job. Went out to the old one. And now I really regret it. Naturally, there is no way back to a new job. The company is serious, with its security service, they checked when applying for a job in all industries. How to let go of this situation? I go back to that day every day and make a decision in favor of a new job. I know that I am eating myself from the inside. I convince myself that everything that is done is for the best for me. Straight cats scratch at the soul.
Hello Svetlana. You have to forgive yourself and accept the situation as it is. You cannot return the past, so there is no point in mentally returning to what worries your soul. The chance was good, but it is not the last one in your life. The child will grow up and you with a "light heart" will be able to devote time to finding a new job and building a career. In fact, the fact that you put the upbringing of your daughter as a priority, the opportunity to see how she grows is very good, because not spending time with your baby at all is unacceptable. Family and children are the main objective on which a person must devote all his strength.
Good afternoon. I'm 45 years old. female. severe depression. At first, my mother fell ill and I was so worried that I got Achalasia of the cardia from the nerves, for two years I was suffocating and did not eat, because the food came out with vomiting. did the operation. then the son finished school, prepared to enter the medical school. I was on unbearable nerves. son entered. I came down with depression. I didn’t have the strength to work, I didn’t pick up the phone, I couldn’t sleep and eat, I lay in a ball and cried all the time ... I didn’t want to see anyone. The anxiety started. I thought: he entered, and suddenly he won’t be able to study there. heartache didn't leave me. I started drinking Prosulpin (when I was diagnosed with Achalasia cardia) I was prescribed Prosulpin. first he helped me. 1 tab 50 mg. in the morning. They made me drink for the rest of my life. But I got a little better. I stopped drinking it. drunk for two years. five more years passed .. I didn’t have the strength to work, listen to music (if I listen to music, then some of the songs in my head drove me crazy all day. I couldn’t get rid of it). my mother fell ill again. I held on. drank again Prosulpin 50 mg. in the morning. Thank God my mother felt better, but I felt completely ill and, plus, my son began to quarrel a lot. Or rather, he is with me. I am always in bad condition. he began to say: it's disgusting to look at me, I'm not well-groomed, not combed, not made up. I can't bring myself to go outside, take my hand and talk to someone. I just don't want to. and it began to kill me that my son would soon marry and leave home. I have no more relatives, except for my son and parents. I began to fear old age and loneliness. these thoughts haunt me. I feel very bad. I want to get away from these thoughts. be in the mood. there is. Cook. wash the floors (I don’t do it now. I can’t. I don’t have the strength) for three days I don’t want to eat at all. began to drink Phenibut (0.5 each) in the morning. I drink for a week, and anxiety, uselessness does not go away to anyone. Doctor help me. I don’t want to go to the doctor, they simply don’t exist in Volgograd, they are worthy. Or I'm afraid that they will put me in the hospital. And my son won't forgive me at all. Please help me. what pills should i take? my height is 167 cm. weight is 78 kg. Gastritis.
Milan, Hello, how are you? Have you gone to the doctor? You can call a psychologist to start, but be sure to do something. We are with you!
Hello Milan, I really understand you. I am in a state of hell myself. I can not sleep, nothing pleases apathy. Weakness from lack of sleep and lethargy. There is no working capacity, but all because of nervous stress that lasted three months and turned into chronic. Do not despair. Try to overcome yourself. I also took pills but they only relieve the symptoms and do not cure. And now the pills do not save drank phenazep and grandax. I began to feel better after prayers, but I have little faith in me, which is why I suffer. The main thing is to believe that everything will be fine and it will be so.
And for me, the article teaches to be passive. if a person left you, then often it’s your fault, but here they offer to pout like a mouse on cereal, and no, don’t discuss it, don’t try to fix it, but stand in a hole to dig it deeper together with your loved one in order to for some nonsense and pseudo-pride, instead of clarifying the situation and also critically evaluating yourself, stand in a pose of 2ah, you are with me, golden, so, then I am with you like that, ”an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, as in 1st grade.
Hello! I have such a story. My name is A... I am 30 years old. Briefly about myself, I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I love sports, I’m a positive person, I was married, student love (we knew each other from 2006, and we were married from 2011 to 2013, we lived with my parents, saved up for our apartment, but she was tired of my father’s booze and she put me before a choice: “Either she or my parents.” I didn’t follow her - as a result of a divorce (February 2014), no children. I didn’t grieve much, because the love for this woman had passed. Life goes on , began to get acquainted with other girls, talked, met. On October 11, 2014, my father dies (he was not an easy man, a military man, he drank a lot, there were not easy relations with him ...) And on November 22, 2014, I accidentally met a girl M.. , she was 26, were sitting with a friend in coffee and were about to leave, but I decided to drop in at the WC, and then the waiter girl comes up to us and says: “Can a girl sit down with you?” We answered - “Yes, of course.” I'm coming back with WC, and I suggest that she go to the cinema, she says that she has already gone, then I asked for a phone and she gave it to me la.
The next day I called her and offered to go ice skating. Well, everything began to spin, spun: cinema, cafes. And during some conversation, she says that her birthday is October 31, 1988 (my father was born on this day, 1962), and I thought this was a sign from above.
She has her own apartment, the first sex with her is very fast (and this alerted me, everything happened very quickly, but everything went as it went). I didn’t tell her about my marriage, she didn’t ask. We spent the New Year together, I introduced her to my mother, she has not yet introduced her to hers, she simply said that a young man had appeared. A trip to Dubai was planned for April 2015. In mid-March, we were having dinner, and she asked me about the past, and I answered her that I was married. She immediately freaked out and started crying. It was on Sunday, spent the night and we parted for three days. On Wednesday, I decided to go to her work and was waiting for her not far from work, and then a text message comes in, she suggested that I meet. We sat in coffee, she was cold, sat on facebooke, said that if she didn’t want to be with me, she wouldn’t be sitting here. That evening we talked and talked about our exes (she said that she had three men, she was not married, I have one, the previous wife ... Yes, I am such a man, one woman) As a result, relations improved. The trip to Dubai took place, everything went perfectly. I gave her gifts, flowers, for no reason. I just wanted to make a person the happiest in the world, there were no gifts from her. Intimacy was regular, I gave her pleasure, went downstairs, she didn’t, she said she never did it, but I didn’t insist, I just accepted such a person as he is, and I fell in love with her and she told me that she loves me. Then she went on a business trip to Moscow, I came there, everything was fine. Then a trip to St. Petersburg. Everything was fine, they said that we love each other!
In June 2015 we buy a Dalmatian dog who was 1 month old, he becomes like a child for us. We care, train and grow it. We play and enjoy life.
In November 2015 I buy a car, a joint choice, I chose for a long time, she said that you didn’t want a car, she was nervous (of course I saved up for an apartment, but because I lived with her and everything went well, so I bought a car ... expensive, I bought it purely for his money, never took a penny from her at all). We are going to Europe with a dog to her sister.
In December 2015 we are going to Italy, the mountains, Venice… Ehhh… it’s just hard to remember all this, we just enjoyed life.
In February 2016, a conversation took place why I didn’t make her an offer (and I was already ready to make it, but she doesn’t have patience, she needs everything at once), and on the same evening I buy her a silver ring (she loves silver), flowers I propose and she accepts! We tell our parents - everyone is happy, they didn’t talk about the wedding day.
A month goes by and she says she doesn't like the ring, she wants an engagement ring. As a result, I buy her an engagement ring, but not immediately.
In May 2016, she changes jobs and moves to a more prestigious one, but at her previous job she needs to pay off a debt, the nth amount of money and for six months we live on my salary, we buy plumbing tiles for repairs in her apartment, everything is for our own money, we think about children, about the future. They already came up with a name for the child, they wanted a girl. She had no projects at her new place of work for four months, it was hard for her, and then they offer a trip to Kazakhstan (6 weeks there, 2 weeks at home, throughout the year), we talked, she really wanted to go, she is interested in this work, we will communicate every day viber, skype. On November 7, she left for Atyrau, I moved out of the apartment with the dog and the renovation began.
There she began a different life, new colleagues, friends, going to cafes in the evening, trying Kazakh cuisine. I didn’t like it, but she said that everyone here is terrible and no one needs her except me, everything will be fine with us. He sent her flowers to Atyrau, she said that she was the happiest in the world.
I believe in God (she does not), went to church, prayed that everything would be fine, that no one would stand in front of us. In December, before New Year's Eve, we held wonderful week in Astrakhan, but three days before departure, the dog ate my passport, although he could eat anything, shoes, clothes, but he ate the passport and I needed to quickly restore it, I managed to do it, and this was the first call, which I didn't pay attention to.
On New Year's Eve, she came home. Paid the full amount old work and she had no debt.
New Year with parents, everything is fine. On January 7, he leaves again for Atyrau for 6 weeks, they planned a wedding for September 9. We thought about travel, children, about the future of our family. And then just signs began ... I had a dream, as if we were in the same class, but she was kissing some boy, then she was visiting him and said: “Let's get dressed quickly, I still have A ... (with me) walk” (later I just found out that when I had this dream, she started dating him).
Then one day, she didn’t write to me during the day, she said that there was no money on the phone, and in the evening I felt so bad. My heart was pounding that I called an ambulance for myself, although I had never called an ambulance before that in 30 years (as it turned out, on that day she met this person). I really feel this person. There were other signs...
On February 17, she arrives from another business trip (for the first time in my life I didn’t buy her a bouquet of flowers, I just didn’t) and I feel that she has changed. In the evening of the same day, she says that she is starting to forget me, I ask her who you have appeared, she says that there is no one. We decide to get married now, to strengthen feelings, we buy rings, a dress, a suit.
February 24 wedding, only parents. They were happy together, a smile on her face, a smile on my face, parents are happy.
On the morning of February 25, I open my passport, and I have an empty stamp in my passport. There is a stamp, but her name is not entered. And I ran to enter it.
On March 6, she leaves again for Atyrau and we agreed to meet in Almaty on March 19, a mini honeymoon trip.
On March 19, I arrive, she flies from Atyrau to Almaty, and I see that the person is completely different, and I find out that she had another, and she fell madly in love, like never before in her life, they had sex. (And he has already left Atyrau and will not be there again) I am in shock, I flew to my wife for 4000 km, and she told me this. And in a panic I say that I’m ready to forgive her, and she says that she wants to try with him, I’m like we have 2 years of such a life, and she and he want to try like candy. And he writes to her at the same time. She didn't want to destroy her family for him. They spoke calmly, did not beat, did not call names. I’m taking the dog for myself, I say, and she’s even okay with her eye, although she loved him very much. I left the next day. And two days later he flew to her from his city L ... And on April 14 she returned home.
Silence from her for a month, nothing at all. Communicated only with her parents, very good relations with them, with mother-in-law, with father-in-law
On April 14, I decided to meet her at the airport, and see the first look after such a breakup. And saw. Why did you come, I wanted to offer to meet in the evening. I took her to her parents. In the evening we met. He says that he is very sorry, asks her to forgive her for what she did. And this person's first marriage (there is a child) did not take place, there is a second child (not planned) and he wants to restore this family, he does not promise anything to my wife. She says that she is not sure of him, does not trust, does not understand. And she is confident in me, trusts, knows that I will be a good father. When he wants to stay with me with me, but still wants to risk everything, put an end to his life and try with him, and he tells her that staying with me is right. We disagree. And if she comes back to me, then only on her knees. I let go, let him do what he wants, although it hurts a lot in my soul, it tears everything inside.
The next day at 15:00 she sends an SMS that she wants to make the right choice, she broke up with him, and wants me to help her cope with this, she wants to make the right choice. I come to her, I say yesterday we parted, and today it’s like this ... That I am a person, not a stone ... In the end - together. We are going to pick up the dog from my mother, and go to her apartment.
We have been trying to improve relations for a week, but I see that she is cold to me, so I will kiss no. There was no intimacy, he asked her to take tests.
It was the second week, I see that it does not make contact at all. On April 29, I’ll put it in her phone, and she corresponds with him, I collect things, she needs time to forget him. We talked and she told me to leave that she couldn't hurt me anymore. And the fact that she returned (for the pain she caused me), I must say thanks to her parents, who put pressure on her. When asked, tell me to my face that you don’t love me, she says she loves, but not like I love her. I take the dog away, but she doesn’t even want to hug, doesn’t want to say goodbye to him. I'm leaving...
Before leaving, I offered to meet, but she visited a psychologist, she felt better, she says that I let her go, I let her go, I don’t hold her, and finally she says that if I didn’t know her parents, it might turn out differently . I'm sorry, I'm getting on their nerves. Like this
Something like that. It hurts, my soul is torn to pieces, because I have sincere feelings for this person. I understand that there is no point in trying to return, you need to be glad that it happened now, and not when there were children, but damn people ... It's just a tin that I have inside ... If you can help with something, I will be grateful, thank you.
Ah .., I now understand that everything in my life is wonderful, except for financial well-being certainly. Since all the gaps are mainly due to this. You acted honestly, and as a man, this should indicate that the problem of lack of honor and dignity has been solved in your life. But it's harder for you to forget everything, because you've invested so much in it. Trust, love, care. I want to say that only by living day by day can you forget all this. A lot of time will pass. Don't even try to do it right away.
And ... - Hello!. I also suffered severely to the point of insanity, acquired health problems. Addressed everyone and everything, studied the problem, tried to save himself. In general, in 2 words - the problem cannot be solved. I am still alive in the end, now I look at her and understand that I was mad in vain. I can answer any question in this area. I have infa from all directions - psychology, psychiatry, time, advice, analysis ... I want to tell you - that a person worried about parting is a good person, what happened - do not blame yourself. So it happened - you did not fit her. It is impossible to foresee and foresee everything. You are obliged to live 100%, only forward! Despondency and whining are not masculine. Women don't need frank whining!! They need tough guys, i.e. strong in body, spirit, and wallet. Pretty people don't have to be. That you have a tragedy is a fact. But you are ALIVE, you didn’t get drunk, yes, your loved one is gone. Everything was and now is not. Your health is more important. Life has become different. You have gained invaluable experience, a lesson, you are wounded. But only forward. Look for people to throw out your problem, go to psychologists, psychiatrists, to friends, girlfriends, dating agencies - there are a lot of options, to parents. Time will pass a lot. I had enough conversations with a psychologist for 2 ... 3 weeks of calm - and so for a very long time. I understood one thing - weak, dull, sour, depressed, without money, without housing, without a car, without work, without prospects - you are not a candidate for a new successful acquaintance and love. Save your health - the past is not returned. There are beautiful women - and you will find your HAPPINESS. I could give advice for another week. Salvation is up to you. The strength is in you.
Greetings, my friends! 
Today I want to talk to you on a very burning topic. Moreover, this topic is important for almost everyone, because after all, each of us has what we want to receive. Simply put, there are some desires. And some of these desires for some reason do not come true. And today we will talk with you about possible reason why you can't get what you want. It's about accepting the situation.
What is Situation Acceptance?
Of course, we all love it when everything around us goes the way we want. In this case, it is easy and pleasant for us to accept and love the world around and consider it a beautiful and comfortable place. But what happens if suddenly the events in life begin to take shape not the way we would like? I think that I will not be mistaken if I say that the most common first reaction is rejection, denial and perception of events as unsuccessful and negative. Is there such a thing? A familiar reaction?
This reaction is characteristic of the vast majority of people. Therefore, it is not surprising that a person learns to react this way from childhood, seeing how all the adults around him do it. And then it already becomes something like a reflex - something went wrong, as you imagined, so it's bad. This is the rejection of the situation. Accordingly, acceptance of the situation is when you calmly accept everything that comes into your life. It doesn't matter if you expected it, planned it or not.
Where is the fulfillment of desires? And here's what. In order for a wish to come true, one very important condition must be met - to accept what the Universe gives you in response to your request. I foresee the surprise of some readers - “Well, do I really not accept what I myself asked from the Universe ?!” Don't be surprised, my friends! This happens very, very often. Much more often than you think. Moreover, most likely you yourself have done this many times without noticing or realizing.
Denial of what you want
How does this happen? And most importantly - why? The answer to the second question is very simple - because what the Universe gives does not meet your expectations, that is, it does not look like what you imagined and what you expect. I will give an example with an increase in income, which I have already cited more than once in my articles, it is very 
indicative. The person wants to receive more money and asks the Universe to provide him with a doubling of his monthly income. What does he imagine?
It is likely that he is promoted in line with the increase in salary. That is what he is waiting for. That is, he draws in his imagination a certain scenario for the fulfillment of his desire and considers everything that corresponds to it to be good luck, and everything that goes beyond it (or, in principle, does not fit into it) is recorded as bad events. But the Universe, after all, can have a completely different way of achieving what is desired for this person.
By the way, it should be remembered that the Universe always gives us a little more and a little better (or maybe not a little!) than we ask. You just need to accept it. But the ways to achieve the desired result may not be the same as we imagine it, operating only with parameters that are visible to us. And just imagine, instead of being promoted, a person is fired from his job. According to the idea of the Universe, in a few days he will find himself a new job, where the salary will be just the same as he asked in his request. BUT!
This can only happen if a person calmly accepts his dismissal, signaling this to the Universe: “Yes, I trust you and I know that you fulfill my desire, I still want this and am ready to move on.” And instead of “sprinkling ashes on the head” and complaining about the injustice of the world, they will tune in to move on. Then events will continue to develop quickly and easily, eventually leading to the fulfillment of desire, that is, to an increase in income, which the person ordered.
But most often everything happens according to a different scenario - non-acceptance of the situation, perceived by the Universe as a rejection of one’s desire, and as a result, the very increase in income that should have happened “hangs” for an indefinite time or permanently if a person decides in connection with all these events that it "never shines" for him.
Well, remember, something similar happened to you? It must have happened. Maybe not on such a scale and not in such serious situations as a job change, but it happened. Now you know what this is backlash you put off getting what you want for yourself or even “cancel the order” for the events that are taking place.
"You have to be grateful..."
What can be done to prevent this from happening? It would seem that the answer is obvious - to accept everything that comes into our life, everything that the Universe gives in response to our requests. Basically, yes, that's right. But the trick is how to do it in real life. It is no secret that often our mood and state are very far from the state of calm awareness. And then we are quickly taken over by our usual reflexes, that is, first to get upset, scold the situation, get sad (this can take a very long time), and only then (if we remember!) Try to apply the method of conscious acceptance of the situation when we
Acceptance of a situation is often accompanied by fear of the inevitable.
American physician Elisabeth Kübler-Ross created the concept psychological help dying people. She studied the experiences of terminally ill people and wrote a book: "On Death and Dying." In this book, Kübler-Ross describes the staging of accepting death:
She watched the reaction of the patients of the American clinic, after the doctors told them about the terrible diagnosis and imminent death.
All 5 stages psychological experiences experienced not only by sick people themselves, but also by relatives who learned about a terrible disease or about the imminent departure of their loved one. The syndrome of loss or the feeling of grief, the strong emotions that are experienced as a result of the loss of a person, are familiar to everyone. The loss of a loved one can be temporary, resulting from separation, or permanent (death). Throughout life, we become attached to our parents and close relatives, who provide us with care and care. After the loss of close relatives, a person feels destitute, as if a part of him was “cut off”, he experiences a feeling of grief.
Negation
The first stage of accepting the inevitable is denial.
At this stage, the patient believes that some kind of mistake has occurred, he cannot believe that this is really happening to him, that this is not horrible dream. The patient begins to doubt the professionalism of the doctor, correct staging diagnosis and research results. In the first stage of "accepting the inevitable", patients begin to turn to larger clinics for consultations, go to doctors, mediums, professors and doctors of sciences, to whisperers. In the first stage, a sick person experiences not only denial of a terrible diagnosis, but also fear, for some it can continue until death itself.
The brain of a sick person refuses to perceive information about the inevitability of the end of life. In the first stage of “accepting the inevitable”, cancer patients begin treatment folk remedies medicine, refuse traditional radiation and chemotherapy.
The second stage of accepting the inevitable is expressed as the patient's anger. Usually at this stage, a person asks the question “Why me?” "Why did I get this sick terrible disease? and begins to blame everyone, from doctors to himself. The patient understands that he is seriously ill, but it seems to him that the doctors and all the medical staff are not attentive enough to him, do not listen to his complaints, do not want to treat him at all anymore. Anger can manifest itself in the fact that some patients begin to write complaints about doctors, go to the authorities or threaten them.
At this stage of "accepting the inevitable" a sick person begins to annoy young and healthy people. The patient does not understand why everyone around is smiling and laughing, life goes on, and she did not stop for a moment because of his illness. Anger can be experienced deep inside, or it can at some point “pour out” on others. Manifestations of anger usually occur at that stage of the disease when the patient feels well and has strength. Very often, the anger of a sick person is directed at psychologically weak people who cannot say anything in response.
Third stage psychological reaction a sick person for a quick death is - bargaining. Sick people try to make a deal or bargain with fate or with God. They begin to guess, they have their own "signs". Patients at this stage of the disease may think: "If the coin now falls tails down, then I will recover." In this stage of "acceptance" patients begin to do various good deeds, to engage in almost charity. It seems to them that God or fate will see how kind and good they are and “change their mind”, give them a long life and health.
At this stage, a person overestimates his abilities and tries to fix everything. Bargaining or a deal may manifest itself in the fact that a sick person is ready to pay all his money to save his life. In the stage of bargaining, the patient's strength gradually begins to weaken, the disease progresses steadily, and every day he becomes worse and worse. At this stage of the disease, a lot depends on the relatives of the sick person, because he gradually loses strength. The stage of bargaining with fate can also be traced to the relatives of a sick person, who still have hope for the recovery of a loved one and they are making maximum effort for this, they give bribes to doctors, start going to church.
Depression
In the fourth stage, severe depression occurs. At this stage, a person usually gets tired of the struggle for life and health, every day he gets worse and worse. The patient loses hope for recovery, he “give up”, there is a decrease in a sharp decline in mood, apathy and indifference to surrounding life. A person at this stage is immersed in his inner experiences, he does not communicate with people, he can lie in one position for hours. Against the background of depression, a person may experience suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts.
Adoption
The fifth stage is called acceptance or humility. In stage 5, “accepting the inevitable person has already practically been eaten by the disease, it has exhausted him physically and mentally. The patient moves little, spends more time in his bed. In stage 5, a seriously ill person, as it were, sums up his entire life, understands that there was a lot of good in it, he managed to do something for himself and others, fulfilled his role on this Earth. “I have not lived this life in vain. I have done a lot. Now I can die in peace."
Many psychologists have studied the 5 stages of accepting death model by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and came to the conclusion that the American research was rather subjective, not all sick people go through all 5 stages, some may have their order broken or absent altogether.
The stages of acceptance show us that this is not only the acceptance of death, but of all that is inevitable in our lives. AT certain moment our psyche includes a certain defense mechanism, and we cannot adequately perceive objective reality. We unconsciously distort reality, making it convenient for our ego. The behavior of many people in severe stressful situations is similar to the behavior of an ostrich that hides its head in the sand. The acceptance of objective reality can qualitatively influence the adoption of adequate decisions.
From point of view Orthodox religion, a person must humbly perceive all situations in life, that is, the phasic acceptance of death is characteristic of non-believers. People who believe in God are more psychologically able to endure the process of dying.
5 stages of accepting the inevitable. Human psychology
A person cannot go through life without encountering serious disappointments and avoiding terrible losses. Not everyone can adequately get out of a difficult stressful situation, many people experience the consequences of the death of a loved one or a difficult divorce for many years. To ease their pain, a 5-step method of accepting the inevitable has been developed. Of course, he will not be able to get rid of bitterness and pain in an instant, but it allows you to realize the situation and get out of it with dignity.
Crisis: reaction and overcoming
Each of us in life can wait for a stage when it seems that there is simply no escape from problems. Well, if they are all household and solvable. In this case, it is important not to give up and go towards the intended goal, but there are situations when practically nothing depends on a person - in any case, he will suffer and worry.
Psychologists call such situations a crisis and advise you to take attempts to get out of it very seriously. Otherwise, its consequences will not allow a person to build a happy future and draw certain lessons from the problem.
Each person reacts to a crisis in their own way. It depends on inner strength, upbringing and often on social status. It is impossible to predict what will be the reaction of any individual to stress and a crisis situation. It happens that in different periods The same person can react to stress in different ways throughout life. Despite the differences between people, psychologists have developed a general formula of 5 stages of accepting the inevitable, which is equally suitable for absolutely all people. With its help, you can effectively help to cope with the trouble, even if you do not have the opportunity to contact a qualified psychologist or psychiatrist.
5 stages of accepting the inevitable: how to cope with the pain of loss?
Elizabeth Ross, an American physician and psychiatrist, was the first to speak about the stages of accepting trouble. She also classified these stages and gave them a description in the book "On Death and Dying". It is worth noting that initially the adoption technique was used only in the case of a fatal human illness. A psychologist worked with him and his close relatives, preparing them for the inevitability of loss. The book by Elizabeth Ross made a splash in the scientific community, and the classification given by the author began to be used by psychologists in various clinics.
A few years later, psychiatrists proved the effectiveness of using the 5-stage technique of accepting the inevitable way out of stress and crisis situations in complex therapy. Until now, psychotherapists from all over the world have successfully used the classification of Elizabeth Ross. According to Dr. Ross's research, a person must go through five stages in a difficult situation:
- negation;
- anger;
- bargain;
- depression;
- Adoption.
On average, no more than two months are allotted for each of the stages. If one of them is delayed or excluded from general list sequence, then therapy will not bring desired result. And this means that the problem cannot be solved, and the person will not return to the normal rhythm of life. So let's talk about each stage in more detail.
Stage one: denying the situation
Denying the inevitable is the most natural human response to great grief. This stage cannot be bypassed; everyone who finds himself in a difficult situation has to go through it. Most often, denial borders on shock, so a person cannot adequately assess what is happening and seeks to isolate himself from the problem.
If we are talking about seriously ill people, then at the first stage they begin to visit different clinics and take tests in the hope that the diagnosis is the result of an error. Many patients turn to alternative medicine or fortune tellers in an attempt to figure out their future. Along with denial comes fear, it almost completely subjugates a person.
In cases where stress is caused by a serious problem that is not associated with a disease, a person tries with all his might to pretend that nothing has changed in his life. He withdraws into himself and refuses to discuss the problem with anyone else.
Second stage: anger
After a person finally realizes his involvement in the problem, he moves on to the second stage - anger. This is one of the most difficult stages of the 5 stages of accepting the inevitable, it requires a lot of strength from a person - both mental and physical.
A terminally ill person begins to pour out his anger on healthy and happy people around him. Anger can be expressed by sudden mood swings, screams, tears and tantrums. In some cases, patients carefully hide their anger, but this requires a lot of effort from them and does not allow them to quickly overcome this stage.
Many people, faced with misfortune, begin to complain about fate, not understanding why they have to suffer so much. It seems to them that everyone around them treats them without the necessary respect and compassion, which only intensifies outbursts of anger.
Bargaining is the third stage of accepting inevitability
At this stage, a person comes to the conclusion that all troubles and troubles will soon disappear. He begins to actively act in order to return his life to its previous course. If the stress is caused by a broken relationship, then the bargaining stage includes attempts to negotiate with the departed partner about his return to the family. This is accompanied by constant calls, showing up at work, blackmail involving children or other meaningful things. Each meeting with his past ends in hysteria and tears.
In this state, many come to God. They begin to attend churches, get baptized and try to beg in the church for their health or any other successful outcome of the situation. Simultaneously with faith in God, the perception and search for signs of fate intensifies. Some suddenly become connoisseurs of signs, others bargain with higher powers, turning to psychics. Moreover, the same person often performs mutually exclusive manipulations - he goes to church, to fortune-tellers and studies signs.
Sick people in the third stage begin to lose their strength and can no longer resist the disease. The course of the disease causes them to spend more time in hospitals and procedures.
Depression is the longest stage of the 5 stages of accepting the inevitable
Psychology recognizes that depression, which envelops people in crisis, is the hardest to deal with. At this stage, you can not do without the help of friends and relatives, because 70% of people have suicidal thoughts, and 15% of them try to commit suicide.
Depression is accompanied by disappointment and the realization of the futility of their efforts spent trying to solve the problem. A person is completely and completely immersed in sadness and regret, he refuses to communicate with others and spends everything free time In the bed.
The mood at the stage of depression changes several times a day, after a sharp rise comes apathy. Psychologists see depression as preparation for letting go. But, unfortunately, it is on depression that many people stop for many years. Experiencing their misfortune again and again, they do not allow themselves to become free and start life anew. Without qualified specialist it is impossible to deal with this problem.
Fifth stage - accepting the inevitable
Accepting the inevitable or, as they say, accepting it is necessary in order for life to sparkle with bright colors again. This is the final stage according to the classification of Elizabeth Ross. But a person must go through this stage on his own, no one can help him overcome the pain and find the strength to accept everything that happened.
At the stage of acceptance, sick people are already completely exhausted and are waiting for death as a deliverance. They ask loved ones for forgiveness and analyze all the good things that they have done in life. Most often, during this period, relatives talk about appeasement, which is read on the face of a dying person. He relaxes and enjoys every minute he lives.
If the stress was caused by others tragic events, then the person must completely "get sick" with the situation and enter into new life recovering from the consequences of disaster. Unfortunately, it is difficult to say how long this stage should last. It is individual and out of control. Very often, humility suddenly opens up new horizons for a person, he suddenly begins to perceive life differently than before, and completely changes his environment.
In recent years, the Elizabeth Ross technique has been very popular. Authoritative doctors make their additions and changes to it, even some artists take part in the refinement of this technique. For example, not so long ago a formula of 5 stages of accepting the inevitable according to Shnurov appeared, where the famous St. Petersburg artist in his usual manner defines all the stages. Of course, all this is presented in a playful way and is intended for fans of the artist. But still, one should not forget that the way out of the crisis is a serious problem that requires carefully thought-out actions for a successful solution.
How do you accept a situation if you don't like it?
Acceptance of what is takes you to a deeper level where your internal state, just like your sense of self, no longer depends on the judgments of "good" and "bad" that the mind makes.
I will not call for accepting the situation if it is impossible to change it, but simply explain why you need it and how to do it.
By accepting an unpleasant situation, we give it the opportunity to change. While we do not accept, we experience anger, rejection, resentment, etc., the unpleasant aspect of the situation grows and gets stronger, because. the force of action is equal to the force of reaction. We stop resisting, we change the vector - we get a change in the situation in positive side. Otherwise, an unpleasant event can thoroughly linger in our lives and make unwanted adjustments to it.
This is a serious enough reason to remember right now what situation is most unnerving for you today, and continue to work with it according to the text of the article. To resist this situation is unprofitable and harmful.
Non-acceptance is disagreement with what is happening.
Those. in our head there is an image of how it should be, but in fact it happens differently, and this causes our disagreement and irritation. So? A reasonable question - can you admit the idea that your idea of \u200b\u200bhow it would be good and right is wrong? That the Universe has before its eyes a different alignment of your life, let's say, more voluminous, in which the best option this situation is exactly what is happening now. And you, instead of thanking for the trouble, get angry and indignant? Allow the idea that your idea is erroneous, because it is narrow, you do not see the whole picture of your life and are not fully aware of your tasks on earth.
I understand that these arguments are not suitable for momentary acceptance. They are needed to expand consciousness and change the outlook on situations and life in general.
What about for the momentary?
To begin with, it is important to assess - can you influence the situation or not? If you can, how, and what exactly will you do right now for this? If everything that is possible has been done, and the situation persists, then in this place - attention! - share the responsibility. When we take on someone else's responsibility, then, firstly, we overwork and lose strength, and secondly, we stop doing what we could do, and spend our strength on what we are not able to change.
So you have specific situation. You did everything in your power to make her stop being so unpleasant for you. But the changes have not yet taken place, and now, when you are powerless to change anything, a protest rises in you - well, how is it, why am I doing this, why exactly with me, etc. This is what rejection is. And this is what not only spoils your life, but also fixes this situation in your reality.
Further responsibility for changing what is happening is not yours! And this fact must be recognized and allowed to be.
For some reason it is needed. If we do not know what exactly, this does not mean that there is no point. It is always there, and you can see this by looking at all the events of your life - notice what positive consequences followed unpleasant events in the past. You did not go to college, but you went to a temporary job and found your calling. You broke up with a man, but you met another, “yours”, your parents did not really support you in childhood, but you grew up active and independent, and do not shy away from troubles.
In a situation of rejection, it is very important to remove emotions. Ideally, an unpleasant situation should not cause negative emotions. I really love Lee Carroll's book The Journey Home, it presents important and profound ideas in the form of a compelling story. There are two main ideas:
everything is just there and
everything is not what it seems.
What you thought was black turned out to be white in the end, and - you can see this in the example own life- that's what happens most of the time.
Therefore, it is very important to remove the assessment of the situation from the position of your understanding of the correctness, and leave only a statement of the situation. Yes, I see that this has happened. What I feel? I feel uncomfortable in it, it’s difficult, I have to strain, something else.
The situation has not been completely resolved, but I believe that in the end it will be resolved in the best way, so I just trust the world and switch to solving other problems. I don’t waste energy on resenting life, complaining about injustice, etc., I direct it to creation, and then I become the real mistress of my life, and not the eternal victim of circumstances.
Everything is just there, and for today it is like this, and I accept this situation because I believe that it has come, because I need it for something. And I focus on understanding why, not on being dissatisfied.
What other aspect of acceptance do I want to talk about.
To accept is not to submit and lay down one's hands. Not at all. To accept means to allow it to be in your life, while doing something to change the situation. And this permission is worth a lot. You are not angry at the wind that sometimes it becomes a hurricane, or at the snow that suddenly went and fell asleep all the way. And why? Because you admit - it just is, and that's it.
But everything that happens in your life, too, just is. And very often it is not really what it seems. Create silence and watch what will happen, let it be, learn to trust what comes and not see it malice. It is a matter of trust in the world, and if you either remove any assessment or try to make it objective, you will feel peace and acceptance.
To accept means to say an unconditional “yes” to your present and future. Acceptance of the world begins with acceptance of oneself, in order to say “yes” to what you may not like about yourself today. We learn to say a full “yes” in the course “I want to love myself”. Sometimes saying yes is much harder than saying no, but what a healing effect it has on our lives!
If you have any questions or need help, please email me.
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Parable
Once a young woman came to the wise man in tears, beautiful girl: - What should I do.
Acceptance of the situation
Often in life we are worried about some situations. Maybe these are conflicts with other people, difficulties in the family or at work, some other troubles. Each such problem does not come into our life just like that. It always contains some lesson that is necessary for our personal growth. A life - wise teacher, and she sends us these situations so that we become better. But do we know how to competently deal with our life problems? The material will teach you how to learn from your life problems, as well as how to really change all these situations. And this is not some abstract theory, but real experience that you acquire during these lessons.
Every person in life has treated someone with love, just remember that. Maybe to your child, to your husband, to your wife, to your parents, well, it doesn’t matter to what or to whom, well, just remember this feeling now, this purely internal emotion, this state of love towards someone. This is a kind of feeling of some kind of energy, maybe even internal, a kind of emotional state associated with this feeling.
Please tune in a little more. Just be aware of this feeling in yourself, and now direct this feeling into this problematic situation. It teaches you something. Therefore, simply react with love, direct this subtle energy of love to this situation. Just as if mentally you are thinking about her and directing this energy of love into her. Just keep being in that mood. Let that energy just flow into this situation. Let it happen by itself, against your will. Don't interfere with anything, just watch.
So, let this feeling of love intensify, this energy of love! In that problematic situation. A certain teacher of yours is in it, experience a feeling of gratitude towards him. Open your heart to this relationship. Don't think about anything, just let that energy flow more and more.
The “acceptance” step is the most important, because everything starts with it. Here you find the position of a disciple, you accept it. And this position, I want to draw your attention, it is not mental, like "I am a student, he teaches me, but still he is a scoundrel." It's an emotional position, you know? That is, you emotionally relate to this: you emotionally accept this situation as your own, and not just in the mind of some philosophical, distant one.
In the Orthodox religious tradition, this position is called “repentance,” to put it more deeply. And this is the basis of Orthodox spiritual culture. Repentance is not some kind of thought scheme, it is a specific feeling that permeates you, you understand, from the feet to the very top of the head, this is the emotion. That's where the change starts, you know? This is where learning begins. So aim for the feeling, not some mental schema.
Now let's do another exercise on the same topic, so that we further deepen our understanding of this first step of the acceptance methodology. Take, please, some other situation. It is better if it is associated with some person who causes you concern, serious problems in life. It doesn't matter who it is: boss, subordinate, partner, friend, wife, husband, mother-in-law, etc. We have already said that this person who comes into my life and who brings me some kind of problem, he brings me himself. Not himself, but us as himself. Brings us back. This is our teacher. Through it, something returns to us that we need to change in ourselves as a person.
And now imagine. Suppose in life, as we have already said, we often hate such teachers. Let's say if you went to the tennis court, and there is a coach who teaches you, what does he do? Think about it. Let's say you, as a beginner tennis player, don't know how to parry blows from the left - it's always more difficult than from the right, it's just uncomfortable. Then what does the coach do? He sends the balls to the left corner over and over again, so that you repeatedly reach there to the left and master this skill. There, on the tennis court, do you hate the coach? You understand that he is acting for your good. Who is a coach? A coach is your sparring partner, such a concept from the sport is sparring. It's the same in boxing.
Video excerpts from Oleg Gadetsky's training seminar "Laws of Fate". Part 3. Changing karmic situations
Psychology acceptance of the situation
Acceptance is one of the principles of skillful handling of experience in the practice of mindfulness (mindfulness). It means the rejection of the senseless struggle with reality, the recognition of the right of reality to be unpleasant, painful.
Refuse attempts to control emotions, not obeying emotional impulses; - to recognize the area of their responsibility, etc.
Fun, despondency, meanness, sometimes understanding will glance as an unexpected guest. Greet and treat them all!
Even if the guests are many torments that will violently sweep away all the furniture in your house, still show honor to everyone.
Maybe he will cleanse you for a new joy.
Dark thought, shame, malice - meet them at the threshold, laughing, and invite them in.
Be grateful to whoever comes, because everyone was sent as a guide from above
Psychology acceptance of the situation
You hear the term "acceptance" very often. “Accept yourself”, “accept the world”, “accept others”... All this is great, but how to understand what it is - acceptance of another person? Acceptance of reality? Accepting events? Self acceptance? Acceptance of others?
It is extremely difficult to understand, to realize what it is - "acceptance". It was difficult to accept oneself, it was difficult to accept something in others that was “wrong” and “unworthy”. The harder you try, the more it will make you sick. What to do then?
Remember Greek myth about Procrustes? This robber lured travelers passing by into his house, then laid them on his bed - and then, if the bed was short for a person, then he cut off from the person what he considered superfluous. If, on the contrary, the bed was too large, then he began to stretch the innocent pedestrian to the size of his bed.
Did he just do it because he was evil? Not sure. It is quite possible that he sincerely believed that all people should be the same size as himself - and therefore, out of the best of intentions, he adjusted them to his own measure.
One way or another, the expression "Procrustean bed" came to us through the centuries. And this expression very well explains the meaning of what acceptance is. If I do not accept something, then I have an internal protest. So, I think I know “how to”, how to do it right. And I'm trying to make it fit.
We waste precious time of our own lives and nervous energy thinking and talking about issues far beyond our own mandate. We relieve ourselves of responsibility for our own happiness, for our own peace of mind and peace in our soul - explaining to ourselves that in such a wrong world it is simply impossible to be happy.
We spend our energy on what we cannot change, we begin to educate other people, manipulate them - instead of calmly doing our own things. own affairs. When we still manage to “fix” another person, we amuse our pride, our ego, creating for ourselves the illusion of our own omnipotence.
Acceptance of self, acceptance of others active process! People often confuse acceptance with inaction. Acceptance does not cancel the right actions to correct unpleasant situations and improve one's own life. Acceptance does not mean: humility, readiness to submit to someone else's will; tolerance or indifference; self-deception and escape from reality; halt in development, inactivity.
Acceptance is one of the principles of skillful handling of experience in mindfulness practice. It means the rejection of the senseless struggle with reality, the recognition of the right of reality to be unpleasant, painful.
An acceptance strategy can have many manifestations:
Allocate a place to a painful experience;
Recognize the possibility of losing;
Refuse attempts to control emotions, not obeying emotional impulses;
Recognize your area of responsibility, etc.
And besides, acceptance of oneself, acceptance of others is:
- Contact with reality. Acceptance is a harmonious contact with reality, which means acceptance of what is happening outside and inside of yourself. By accepting, you recognize objective reality and internally agree and allow just to be what is happening. Acceptance is allowing something to be as it is it is. Acceptance is a complete internal agreement with what is. To accept another person is to give him the right to be who he is.
To accept the feelings of another person is to give them the right to simply exist inside the other person. To give the right to another person to have exactly the feelings that he has.
To accept reality or events is to give them the right to be.
Adoption.
In the explanatory dictionary of S. I. Ozhegov and N. Yu. Shvedova, the word "accept" has 18 meanings, or the possibilities of its application (more details here)
If you summarize all the meanings they listed, acceptance will be the opposite of avoidance, unwillingness to see, hear or know something. It is important to emphasize here: not resistance, but avoidance. In some sources, acceptance in psychology is opposed to resistance, which does not accurately reflect the principle of acceptance itself. For example, to take a blow is not to evade a blow, but to directly resist. It turns out that resistance can sometimes even be an identical concept.
Another argument may be the synonyms of the word accept, which most of all correspond to the words - take or take. All of them are united by the concept of close contact with one or another object, event, action, and so on. Resistance almost always involves close contact (interaction or opposition) where acceptance plays a role. important role, since it is acceptance that helps a person, instead of avoiding problems, to see them, contact them, and look for ways to solve them. This is what psychology calls acceptance. That is, the recognition of the very fact of its existence.
In fact, acceptance in psychology implies an adequate vision of the situation. Everything that we accept is taken for granted, but does not become part of us, rather it will be like a challenge (from a series to take a hit). For example, accepting risk or accepting responsibility is what it is. We accept - it means that we are aware of everything that stands behind it, and we know what can be opposed to this. It is a conscious action in a conscious situation.
Acceptance or non-acceptance of objective reality has the most significant impact on quality decision making. Decision making is a process of rational or irrational choice of alternatives (source). A rational choice is possible only with an adequate assessment of the situation, that is, acceptance of the situation.
Very often, accepting a situation is complicated by fear of the inevitable. Fear is another reason that prevents us from looking at things objectively. A good example here would be the stages of acceptance that Elisabeth Kübler-Ross identified in patients after informing them of an incurable terminal illness.
- Shock and denial are the very fear that prevents us from accepting the inevitable. Interestingly, some patients remain at this stage until the very end.
- Anger - main question, which asks a person: “Why did this happen to me?” By and large, at this stage, a person is looking for the culprit, both in himself and in others.
- A deal - a person is looking for an opportunity to negotiate with anyone: with God, with fate, doctors, loved ones, with himself, etc. He overestimates his life and promises to fix everything.
- Depression is what the people call: "the expectation of death is worse than death itself." Complete apathy from hopelessness, lack of desire to do anything, the world loses its colors.
- Acceptance is the awareness of the inevitability of death for all living things.
The stages of acceptance described above show us more than just accepting death. Most of us, in the same sequence, accept everything that we were not ready for before. To put it mildly, we are not very willing to accept objective reality if it threatens us with something unpleasant. And then defense mechanisms come into play. In short, this is our unconscious ability to distort reality, making it more convenient for our ego. Objectively, this is reminiscent of the strategy of an ostrich, which, in times of danger, buries its head in the sand, believing that in this way it has safely hidden itself.
Consequences of avoiding problems with defense mechanisms, are well described by Sigmund Freud and his followers. I have described the general vision of this problem here.
Acceptance of the situation is the ability to adequately correlate the desired with the actual.
Thus, we operate according to the principle:
You take what you have and do what you need.
You take what you have - it means you accept it, there is no other way.
A person receives only what he is able to accept.
As always, it’s worth starting with yourself or with self-acceptance. Self-acceptance - you guessed it, is seeing ourselves as we really are. This is, first of all adequate self-esteem, which, for example, in the spiritual aspect corresponds to humility (more details here).
Acceptance of a person, or simply acceptance of others from the same area. This is where our selfishness comes into play. Pay attention, although the Ego is the root of the word egoism, it is not the root of evil, this is important. Ego comes from the Latin ego, which means simply "I". That is, fighting with the ego is tantamount to fighting with oneself, which does not always make sense. The problem is not so much in the ego, but in selfishness, concentration on one's own person and exalting oneself above others. This prevents an adequate assessment of ourselves and everything that surrounds us. If we begin to suppress our ego (as the root of evil), this leads to self-abasement, or an underestimation of ourselves and, against this background, an overestimation of others.
Acceptance of oneself is directly proportional to the acceptance of others.
I hope that the above material sufficiently emphasizes how self-acceptance, acceptance of another and acceptance of life in general, is important for our development and growth in all areas of our lives. And yet, in the end, I will refer to the four noble truths that were formulated by one of the greatest teachers of mankind, Buddha Shakyamuni.
- There is a lot of suffering in life - acceptance of the problem.
- Every suffering has a reason - the acceptance of responsibility.
- If there is a reason, then there is a way to solve it - acceptance of the situation.
- To do this, you need to follow the path leading to liberation - self-acceptance.
How to learn to accept and why it is important
This is the first article in a series about acceptance and how to learn to accept yourself and the circumstances in life.
“Because every circumstance
it is a gift and there is a treasure in every experience.”
Neil Donald Walsh
How well you live your life, in what direction, negative or positive, depends on you.
A significant role in this is played by the ability to accept any circumstances: unpleasant situations, painful conditions, and social conflicts.
In order to gain the skill of "acceptance", we suggest understanding what it is and how you can learn to accept.
At the end of this article, you can download the booklet "How to Learn to Accept" with a text version of this article.
What is acceptance
Acceptance is a new level of understanding.
This is the understanding that everything that happened to you, for some reason you need it.
Understanding that the problem always comes from within you outward, and is manifested from within by external circumstances. You receive what you broadcast to the World.
The Outer World signals to you, through the situation, what to pay attention to in YOURSELF.
Understanding that accepting a situation does not mean accepting the injustice of what is happening to you, does not mean submitting to circumstances.
- Agree that the situation has already been created and that we need to move on based on the presence of this fact.
- Agree that it is impossible to change events, but you can understand them differently.
- Find the reason why this situation arose in your life, and understand how to act so that this does not happen to you.
What is important to learn to accept
#1 Accept yourself
It is difficult for a person to accept himself when he is dissatisfied with himself.
To accept yourself means to accept all your strengths and weaknesses. Accept that man is an imperfect being.
Recognize that you have the right to make mistakes, that you do not have to be perfect in everything.
And that you don't have to live up to others' expectations of you, you don't have to please.
See also 14 exercises to help you accept yourself and your life to the fullest!
#2 Accept other people
Acceptance of others is difficult if you do not understand that the people who hurt you (from your point of view) are not really the source of the pain.
Through such people, circumstances show you what you need to pay attention to in yourself.
You will not be able to accept the situation with one person, you will blame him, a similar situation will arise with others.
Because the world will signal to you “pay attention to the source in Yourself”, until you realize the essence of the problem itself.
When you accept the people around you, you realize that people can be unfair to others.
At the same time, you do not evaluate the actions of people and do not condemn them. You understand that people cannot live up to your expectations.
Acceptance of another person can be compared to maternal acceptance. Mother easily accepts pranks and any actions of a small unreasonable child.
Acceptance is the ability to understand that a person will NEVER change.
Svetlana Dobrovolskaya speaks very well about this:
#3 Accept the situation (circumstances)
To accept circumstances means to agree that there are things in this life that do not correspond to your vision and perception of the World. That everything has its place.
Both what you perceive positively and what you perceive negatively.
Since the concepts of “positive” and “negative” are relative. As well as the concepts of “good and bad”, “difficult and easy”, “a pleasant person and an unpleasant one”.
All these qualities are conferred when evaluation is given. And it is not at all necessary that what you like will please others.
Or what is unpleasant for you, it is likely that others will delight. Because the criteria for evaluation and perception are different for everyone.
For example the weather. After all, there are days when she is not pleasant to you. But you accept this fact and don't try to change the weather.
And the fact that, for example, you do not like rain, does not mean that this natural phenomenon is not loved by all other people. There will always be people who love the rain.
Why is it important to learn acceptance?
Not accepting, a person thereby spends a lot of strength, energy and time resisting circumstances.
If a person cannot accept the circumstances, he constantly replays what happened in his thoughts, and every time he worries about it.
By doing so, a person only destroys himself both emotionally and physically.
It is also important to understand that in your life there will be no less unpleasant situations and disappointments, but having learned to accept, you will thereby begin to act not to your detriment.
First of all, you need the ability to accept personally, and not the participants in events that are unpleasant for you.
It does not matter what events occur in the outside world, it is important how you react to these events.
Rejection can be compared to a poisonous drink that you yourself drink but expect harm to be done to the “bad” person.
That is, to accept is, first of all, to take care of yourself.
By learning to accept, a person becomes a more harmonious personality. It becomes stronger, calmer, more balanced, free from dogmas and opinions.
Such a person is difficult to manipulate.
It is important to learn to accept not only your strengths, but also your weaknesses. Learn how to do this from the article.
How to learn to accept
Step 1. Agree "Yes, it happened"
Do not confuse this point with humility.
To accept means to accept that the situation is inevitable, that you are ready to drag the hardships of adversity for the rest of your life. Reconciliation is to submit to circumstances.
And to accept a situation means to accept that it has already happened, but at the same time to understand that there is always a way out of any situation, and from this one too. And as a rule, there is more than one way out.
It remains only to find this way out.
Step 2. Find the reason "why it happened"
Every situation contains a "pearl of wisdom."
Think about why this situation happened to you. Realize what is important it highlights to you.
Thank all the participants in the events, do not forget about yourself, for a new vision of what happened.
If it is important for you to learn to accept your past, read
Step 3. Move on without looking back
For example: you left the house, and it is raining outside. You had to go back for an umbrella. You will not be offended and complain about the rain, that it is inopportune for you.
Even if you grumble, you certainly won’t hang in this state for a long time.
Accept this as a fact and, based on this situation, another time, before leaving, look out the window and grab the necessary items right away so that you don’t have to return.
3 techniques to adopt
Technique #1 Inhale Acceptance
We offer you a very simple practice for accepting everything and everything.
It is called the Breath of Acceptance and is performed in the morning as soon as you wake up.
- Come to the window, greet the new day and declare your readiness to accept any events in your life that will happen to you today.
- Ask the Higher Powers to help you and guide you in difficult times.
- Express the intention to see depth and wisdom in every step, in every circumstance of the day.
- Take a deep breath, joyfully accepting all the gifts of this day!
#2 Self Acceptance Affirmations
Do you want to increase self-acceptance and trust in the world in life by doing just 5 minutes a day?
Affirmations for the chakras will help you. These are simple and, at the same time, unique practices that will allow you to "pump" important personal qualities easily and quickly.
Technique #3 Quit Everything
At one of the webinars for clients of the Mastery Keys Training Center, Alena suggested the following practice:
“There is one gesture that breaks out from most people in difficult times.
When you raise your hand up and in your hearts say "Fuck it ..."
We are with you cultured people, so let's call this gesture "Put it all down".
Thus, you relinquish responsibility for all the grips of the 3D world and transfer it to higher powers for highest resolution situation and the highest good."
Many wrote after the webinar that the gesture worked in a difficult situation. Experiment and you.
And remember to focus on what really matters to you.
To prove injustice towards you or take care of Yourself?
Share in the comments what circumstances in your life are the hardest for you to accept!
Olga Ludera
Employee of the project "Keys of Excellence" - Account Manager. Certified Practitioner of Reincarnation
Leave a comment and tell us what you think.
Y-yes ... we wanted to write a short note, but it turned out as always ... with practice!
Amazingly on time. Thanks to)
Thanks, Alena! As always, on time! Helpful stuff!
Thanks for everything. I’m starting to realize more and more… Live more consciously… Your advice is important to us… Thank you.
Thanks to! Articles help me a lot to understand and understand my style of behavior and learn to behave differently, taking care of myself, and also help others to correct themselves too!
Thank you. This information is very relevant and timely for me. More than a year on this site and always interesting and useful articles and practices. I enjoy using it and pass it on to others. The environment around is changing, old ties are being destroyed and it is not always possible to accept it calmly, with understanding and let it go.
Well written, hard to implement. Everything is clear and understandable while reading, but in fact it is somehow difficult to accept what you do not like. I think it's best to let go of the situation or, if possible, get away from people with whom it is bad.
Thanks a lot! I now have a very tense relationship with my daughter (3 years old) - ignoring, open protests, tantrums. Situations keep replaying in my head...
Again thank you very much behind practical advice and recommendations. And for the reminder about the difference between acceptance and humility.
Firstly, it is not clear how the soul differs from the spirit and what is spiritual development in principle ... and is there spiritual development?)))
timely, appropriate and actual topic and for me, and relatives, and all those who are not indifferent to development, awareness, their own lives, Love and God. I have been using this practice for myself and my family for several years. The relationship is already easy, I like it. We continue to accept and let go of ignorance and turn towards the Light :), what I wish for everyone.
Thank you for the information. It so happened that I myself have come a long way. Spiritual Development, and if earlier I came across Teachers more often on it, now more and more often I come across students who have to explain their knowledge on their fingers. And for the second time the Higher Powers send your articles just ON TIME and to the address. Now I just give my students a link and they themselves read everything and can apply it in life.
And I can now spend my free time from compiling explanations on my Creativity, which is now flowing in an almost continuous stream ...
Awakening the hearts of other people and Souls,
From the Darkness of the shackles as possible large quantity save.
I still don't know how to do this
But the Forces from Above will tell me how to behave.
Revealed to me my destiny
What can I do best
When my talents and skills
I pour into my poems, I create easily.
It's like an angel above me helps me
Whispers rhymes and words in my ears.
He knows about everything about everything in the world,
And for the flow of this knowledge, my head is open.
Crown, my cosmic chakra Sahasrara
Vibrates and is felt almost always,
Through her I get everything I need, I would say so,
And my creativity that I pour out on paper.
No wonder I once read on the Internet,
Poetry, writing and drawing, whom God has rewarded with this,
All this is akin to meditation, and I found out
When you create, everything disappears, you remain in the flow yourself, alone.
And nothing, and no one is needed anymore,
Your Soul creates through you,
And for me, this time is the best reward,
I create my poems slowly.
And also my other Creativity may be of interest to someone, especially since a lot was written under the influence of meditations and articles by Alena Star - our Asterisk 🙂
Thank you. like a balm for the soul
Thanks to! Valuable information! I will practice! It is very difficult for me to accept the departure and rejection of relationships and communication of people with whom you have been with for many years.
Thanks to! The information came to me on time, just what I needed!
Thanks for the helpful article!
Thanks to. The answer came very timely, what does it mean to accept.
Alena, I read you with pleasure and listen to you on the periscope, you can say I catch every word. You explain so wisely and intelligibly and I always find answers for myself. In my life, the most difficult thing for me to accept is a relationship with children. I do not always find excuses for their actions, sometimes it offends. Thank you for the valuable content you provide.
Thank you very much! How right, wise, true!))) Very useful information!
But after all, we also have to refuse to communicate when interests diverge ... We cannot deprive others of this right (
There is another option: write down what you chewed with your own text and send it to us ... Suddenly it will be useful for our audience. Thanks for the verses!
Thanks for the article, Olga. Strong article, and smart. Maybe the transformation of oneself is not a reorganization of oneself, but simply a new understanding of oneself?
Are you interested in our interpretation? This topic is well considered in the classical works ...
You remember that at this age the child builds his willpower ... Just through protests and experiments on parents)
Acceptance is my recent realization. The desire to control and manage everything greatly ruined my life. When I realized the simple truth that you just need to trust God, life, the body relaxed and it became easier to breathe. And now this is confirmed by the clues of life itself, such as this article. Thanks to.
Interesting article! Ah, I’ll try to accept now the situation with the flu and the workload associated with it, which fell on me so inopportunely) I wonder how household level such an acceptance of the situation will work. Olenka, thank you very much! Otherwise, I would have dug into resolutions, orders and prescriptions, combining this with medical activities.
Thank you for the useful information.
Thanks for the article, great article. Well, if you raise your hand and lower it sharply, the problem that is in front of you, however, hasn’t worked in this way for a long time, it’s good that you reminded, Sometimes it’s very necessary.
I think that in my poems I chew it all out very strongly, and besides, in poetic form. But so far, the website stihi.ru has not had time to post everything. I do it gradually, and I started with my love art in the first place. And I plan to release more poems on Spiritual and Esoteric topics in the form of a collection in printed or electronic form. Although I will post something free access. And of course, Alena, I will definitely share them with you. You help me and all people. I will also thank you in any way I can.
This one was written under the influence of your meditation
Benefits of group meditation
And this is also based on your information. Moreover, I managed to convey your condition in such a way that the Novosibirsk Academicians who read it and practice astral exits they didn’t believe that I myself had never been to the Astral, considering me an Astral Pilot, moreover, “with experience” 🙂
Poems on spiritual and esoteric themes. About the astral
And yet, I think that this poem will also be of interest to readers of this site.
Second Coming of Christ
Great article! Being engaged in yoga practices for a quarter of a century, so many revelations and discoveries have come, one of them is Acceptance of others, it is unrealistic without accepting oneself. There are games that people play, and there are people who play games, for example, victims, savior, tyrant they don’t play enough - there can’t be any talk of acceptance at all. The one who accepted himself easily accepts the other, giving him the right to be himself. His parents, planet, situations, seeing the opportunity to know and prove himself
Dear Alena and Olga, Svetlana Thank you very much for the timely information. I'm solving problems with acceptance now. It `s that. what I need now. I thank the Family of Light and my HE.
Thanks, Olenka. You are great as always in everything!!
It is very difficult to accept when a beloved man shows disrespect, is inattentive and does not appreciate at all. What's the lesson here? Increase internal self-esteem? Learn to build boundaries and declare that this state of affairs does not suit me? Accept that a man is not obliged to meet my expectations and leave?
thank! The information is interesting and necessary. But how do you actually put it into practice?
Thank you Olya and Alena! I wanted to write something in my diary, and suddenly ... I found out that I had to write everything out. This is an indicator! Each phrase carries important information and filled with energy. Like all materials on topics that interest me.
Dear Alena, Olga, Svetlana! Thank you very much for your work! In my situation, I can never accept a man, I always try to change something in him, fix it! I run into the same rake all the time. I think that I can remake a person, but nothing ever comes out. All my relationships follow the same scenario: I try to fix it, the person behaves aggressively, I suffer and we break up ... Then I think that something is wrong with me, and my ex finds a girl and lives normally with her. After what I heard from Svetlana, I tried to figure out why I figured it out! Thank you!
Thank you, thank you for your work.
Thanks and I take it as a lesson!
A very useful article... needed by everyone... and always... for me at the moment - just a valuable find. With love and gratitude)
Girls! Olga! Thank you very much! Perfectly highlighted the nuances in understanding such important processes and important differences too. Thanks for the technique - I really liked the “competently wave my hand”))
Great article! Beautifully and easily laid out on the shelves, the topic is difficult for beginners. I will give a link to your article to my friends. A very good decision to write out such "deciphering" articles. Thank you very much for your work!
Thank you for the article.
Thank you, Alena, Svetlana, Olga!
Your articles inspire, give strength and confidence.
Hi all! I live in acceptance! Thanks teachers!
Thanks to! Excellent and detailed article. I saw my pearls of wisdom after I got to your site and began to study chakras. The hardest thing for me is to accept my actions, although I already see that that experience was simply necessary for me and I understand why.
I will definitely practice the "breath of acceptance." I used to love to make plans and was always shaking that they would break loose. Upset even from bad weather! This is the art of accepting and trusting life 🙂 now it’s just the flu, and everything has melted, it’s raining :)))
It’s easier with people, for some reason I love everyone since childhood. I agree with Svetlana Dobrovolskaya that people behave this way not from a good life. How glad I am that there are many people who see the light in others!
Thanks for the article!
Thank you for your tireless work to help us live a better life.
Thanks for the article! Very timely. I've been using technique #3 for a few days now. Works great. With love and gratitude!
And yet, fear overcomes me more than just believing in these words and in this practice .... What if it doesn't work then.
Olga, Alena, Svetlana thank you for the article! On time, as always! We figure out with our daughter how to accept the World and interact with it. Using the material of your article, it will be easier for me to argue my advice and answers to her questions.
I've been working on this for the last year. I learned to accept people for who they are and the same with situations. And just like that, everything started to improve. and it is also important to live Today and Now.
They say nothing comes into our lives by chance. It really is. I just now have a situation that needs to be accepted and, probably ... step aside. Thanks for the timely advice!
Alena, thank you! It is as if you are answering my questions that arise in my mind ... I wake up with some thought and ... I receive your letter with an answer. THANK YOU!
I read it and suddenly the prayer of the Optina Elders popped up in my head. How wisely everything is written there about living in the world and relating to oneself and others. Humility is a slave position, and the acceptance of everything that is at the moment of your life and the understanding "What you sow, so shall you reap." Learn to sow those seeds that, when germinating, will create that picture of the world in which you would like to live on planet Earth. all the most beautiful shoots, in your own "Garden of Eden"
Olga, Svetlana, Alena, thank you! As always, everything is simple and effective. After such articles, the practitioner Soul sings.
Thank you, Alena! Your article, as always on time. At the moment I am trying to “resolve” the situation that arises again and again in my life and again I can’t understand why I keep coming back to it all the time. I will use.
Alena, I work with this all the time, but other layers pop up. Thank you. Yes, there are superficial insults, but there are deep ones that come up from past lives. Initially, it’s always difficult, and then automatically
For the second day I am in a balanced state. I understand that my mind needs to find the answer: WHY? I have it (such a state). I search in different sources, read, listen, remember what I already know...
Bang! Article! But I do know that!
Olga, great article. Thank you! The third technique is, in general, SUPER! The main thing is instantly, waved and that's it! Specially allocated-
» We are cultured people, so let's call this gesture "Give up on everything."
It means that you transfer the solution of this situation UP, for example, to your higher self, your mentors, your spiritual teachers.
What does "acceptance" mean: Give up on everything
Instead of poking at closed doors, enter a semi-meditative state, raise your hand and sharply lower it down.
Thus, you relinquish responsibility for all the grips of the 3D world and transfer it to higher powers for the highest resolution of the situation and the highest good.»»
Thank you with love!
Thank you for the timely article. The first thing that manifests itself is the emotion of injustice.
Thanks to. Amazing. But it's so easy to pay a little attention to your loved one - and life will change. Indeed, we all know from experience that people will never change! and is a fact. And how important it is to look at yourself from the outside - a lot of interesting things! After all the world we create ourselves!
Great, I just thought that I don’t always understand what exactly to do when they say let go, accept, and so on from the series. It’s great that you can explain in simple language, by the way, when there is an algorithm, spiritual practices become closer to people who are far from esotericism, but still some things can be explained to them using such examples and for them it’s like tasks are accepted faster (there is such an experience )
I sometimes do this instead of the “wave hand” gesture. I just mentally ask God to take this situation away, since I don’t know how to solve it correctly and I ask that he solve it for me in the best way for me or indicate the way out of the situation, which will be the best in these circumstances.
Alena, thank you for the article! Deep inside I knew all this, but I forgot! Thanks for the reminder!
Thank you very much, I'll give it a go.
Thanks for the good article!
This is a long term job so help and support and reminders are needed along the way.
It's a good idea to decipher the meaning of the words. I would like to paint the meaning of the word "Let go of the situation ..."
Thank you dear girls!! So I’m just stuck on one of my life situations. And I seem to accept it? Well, it seems to me. I’m working on it this way and that. it probably should already somehow be resolved or not? How to understand if I accepted the situation or not? Today;
Thanks, Alena! It is very difficult for me to stop continuing to replay situations that I do not like. And also stop the internal dialogue with people with whom I don’t like relationships. I understand that in this way I lower my vibrations, but often I continue to do it out of inertia! When I realize this, I try to move the people or the situation away, but this is not always possible!
Thanks for the article! As always, very timely.
Faith, if you have accepted the situation, then you do not get emotionally involved and do not try to interfere in the course of events. You choose tactics and actions that make it easier for you to coexist with what is happening.
Amazing. Absolutely agree with everything. The hardest thing is to accept EVERYONE AROUND…:))) I try, but it doesn’t always work out yet…:) Thank you, Alena!
very valuable information! Thanks to!
Natalia, at first you catch such moments. But after a while it becomes a habit. You yourself will not notice how you stop hanging in negative memories. I wish you success!)
Olga, thanks for the article! Well written. Now I accept the fact that I can’t write articles as well as girls do) But I didn’t reconcile myself and I will learn from them))) In my life I accepted different circumstances. With experience, my own acceptance technique appeared. Any emotion that accompanies an unpleasant situation for us responds in the body. I close my eyes and look for this place in the body. I mentally hug him with love and the emotion begins to melt. The most difficult thing was to accept betrayal. tinker, looking for ... Thanks again for the pleasure!
Natalia, thanks to Alena for this simple and productive technique!)
Ahh, well then it's all right. I thought that everything should change completely. The situation has ceased to strain me .. but now, it strains the second participant in the situation. But I really made a decision for myself not to interfere, I live my own life, but the situation-his!!
Thanks, Alena! Sometimes emotions cannot be controlled.
Nice comparison, thanks Natalia!
From the fact that a person simply believes or does not believe in something, nothing will happen. You need actions that will lead you to the results you want.
Thank you) Recently I asked this question to other people, and I received the answer here
Thanks to! for the article, for me now it is important. I don't fully understand the word humility. Different interpretations, although the article says a little about this. Sometimes it causes unpleasant sensations.
Julia, change the attitude of other people to me. And the lesson will be revealed to you.
In your case, “the man is disrespectful, inattentive and
does not appreciate at all” We get “I show disrespect to myself. I am not attentive to myself. I don't value myself."
Thanks for the article, Olga! Very valuable, relevant, capacious!
Hello Alena! As always, very opportunely and exactly on the topic that excites the most. I am in that situation when all the work (the real work, by the sweat of my brow!) on harmonizing my personality, letting go, accepting, creating, etc., breaks like a wave on a rock: “Yes, how could they me to act! ”... and that’s all ... you fall into an endless mental “wash”. But here is such a moment: you wrote that there is always a way out, after acceptance, and not even one. Will it be a way out, to respond with aggression to aggression. Having previously accepted all the imperfections of this world?
Thank you very much, sunshine. As always, on time and in full ......
Thanks, Alena. wonderful and educational material. So clearly everything is painted, just like the alphabet. With great pleasure, I always look forward to your new topics for understanding this or that situation and solving existing problems. Creative inspiration and goodness to YOU.
Rosa, ask yourself the question - will the solution of the situation through aggression be productive for you personally? Will it really be a way out of the situation? Or vice versa will drag you into an even greater conflict? There is no acceptance in aggression. If there is a desire for revenge, then you condemn.
Thank you, Alena and Olga, for the note and practice! I try to trust and accept life, but I still get caught. Again I have to remind myself that “no me - no problems” and then it’s easier for me to look at the situation from the outside, and, of course, breathing, it helps to restore myself so much. I wish you all good luck!
If a person reacts painfully to betrayal, then he betrays himself in some way.
Thanks for the article! Special thanks for the video. Svetlana Dobrovolskaya has the gift of conveying information at the level of mind and heart and it immediately becomes easy and understandable;)))
ALYONA! Thanks a lot for the knowledge! I will use your advice! All the best to you!
Thanks to! Very helpful practice! I'm armed!
Thanks a lot for the article! On the shelves, clear, accessible and, most importantly, on time! :)
Thank you, as always very timely and very interesting!
Thank you! miraculously all articles and newsletters come exactly at the moment when it is most needed! The gesture begins to "work" even when you read about it ... :-)
my world will take care of me!
Thanks to! Very valuable information.
Thanks for the interesting article! Only this morning I was thinking about the “Inhale of Acceptance” technique, I wanted to search on the site))) and here are the miracles ... she came to the post office))) super.
Thanks a lot! Very handy.
Thanks to. Great article! It's still hard to accept the loss of physical health
Thanks, great article! Everything is clear and understandable. the most difficult thing is to accept the lifestyle of a teenager's daughter, which, to put it mildly, is harmful to her health ((
Thanks for the reminder!
Thank you! Everything is simple, clear and concentrated in one place.
Thanks for the article, but I would also like to know what it means inability to give?
Hello Alena and everyone! First time here; I understand - about what, but questions about life, according to your theses - a wagon))) From the comments I see that not only I have questions. On the one hand, there is an assertion that justice, in principle, should not be achieved (it is more expensive for oneself), and on the other hand, one should not put up with injustice. Sorry, I do not understand. Further, the statement - external circumstances reveal an internal problem; the question is how to interpret the need for me, to "cut" with the prosecutor's office and the city administration in relation to the sidewalk adjacent to my house? Further, according to “injuries from the past” - those who caused them today in the immediate environment (this is how life has developed, I am responsible for them and cannot “give up”); I do not hold evil, but the memory is good, i.e. when provoked, I immediately “start up” and everything pops up. Zombie yourself to thank them - no way. Once again, these are close people, I know them and their capabilities, i.e. the refrigerator is not obliged to show how TV, BUT it is obliged to freeze! Broke - what you need, how to help, and in response - silence or everything is fine) And everyone is bad or extremely tolerant. I have strength, energy (for peaceful purposes))), a desire to change the existing, but, you see, in any dialogue, an agreement of interaction, two participate ... Only gods and animals live alone
Thanks to! Olga, with a debut, great written.
Thanks to. very similar to the information that is now coming into my life.
Thanks for the great article! Such ease after reading, inside everything agreed, great ....
Olga, thank you! All the accents are clearly placed - there is only one thing left - to learn to ACCEPT what I wish for myself and everyone! Thank you.
Thanks for the article! “Puzzles” do not immediately add up, but a picture gradually begins to emerge, consciousness reacts. THANK YOU!
Hello, the word enlightenment comes up all the time. I would like to know: are there levels, is there a difference in gender and, most importantly, in age. Thank you.
Olga, thank you! A very necessary article. As it turned out, I did not quite understand what it meant to accept. I choose to take care of myself!
I liked it very much, the explanations of Svetlana Dobrovolskaya were understandable and very much responded to me. Thanks to Svetlana and Alena, of course.
Thanks to! This is exactly what happens, but I didn’t know how to react, I’m learning to accept myself and others.
Thank you for an interesting and very useful article.
When I read it, I realized such an interesting thing: "When you learn to accept, then there will be no less unpleasant situations and disappointments, the reaction will change."
I suddenly realized that the word "unpleasant" just means rejection, something that we do not accept. And “disappointment” is what keeps us from being charmed. How deep is the Russian language)
It turns out that when we learn to accept, we will not have unpleasant situations and disappointments. This is the wisdom of acceptance
Thanks to. The information came just in time.
thanks a lot! I really liked it, well structured selection of material. Posted and dragged to her. Thanks to!
As always, everything arrives on time. Huge thanks to you. But the most difficult thing is to cope with your ego, selfhood ...
accept the situation for the most part I succeed, find wisdom too ... but it doesn’t work out with joy. There is no emotion of joy if a situation that was negative for me occurred and I managed to accept it. If before the situation the mood was good or even, then after such a situation it is impossible to steer into a positive.
Dominated by fatigue and sadness from the vision of reality. Type-knowledge multiplies grief ...
What are some ideas?
Thank you for the clarity, clarity and brevity. Always on time!
Alena, thanks! But the debut was the article “How to manage your emotions…”)
Would teach such topics on school lessons our children. And they didn’t fill their heads with any crap. And, you see, our world would be completely different ... Thank you!
knowledge multiplies sorrow
I have the same thing) I even stopped smiling in my life completely! And yet she smiled.
knowledge multiplies sorrow
Thanks, Alena! I feel your energy and it encourages either repetition or study. It is impossible to stay away and skip a lesson.
When a person has accepted the situation, he does not hang in a negative reflection on what happened. Accordingly, there will be no reasons for a bad mood.
The situation you describe is similar to humility. You have accepted that you cannot change the circumstances. You think about it and this state of affairs spoils your mood.
Thank you for the information, Olga🙏 It's hard for me to accept my own laziness and lack of interest in life.
Regarding the alcoholic .. Lazarev says that a person drinks or walks if the wife has distortions of divine programs (pride, etc.) She is like his reflection .. There are many examples when a woman changed, prayed, etc., and her husband stopped drinking ... Dobrovolskaya, apparently, responds more with psychological point her answer does not satisfy .. I largely agree with the steps ... I’m not in favor of pulling the strap of such husbands .. Yes, you need to get a divorce .. But it’s very difficult for a person to see his “blocks” ... In this case, a woman ... I like it very much the topic is "Acceptance".. Thank you.
Thanks, valuable information! Do you think this information will help me understand the relationship with a man?
The value is not so much in the information, but in how you use the knowledge gained.
Let everything turn out in the best way for me and name the person with whom the relationship is not very good or describe the situation and give me the grace to accept any of your decisions.
And you don't have to give up.
thank you very much, I think that you always need to work on yourself, even if you think that you have achieved a lot.
Olga, thanks for the article! Everything is very concise and understandable. Less is better.
Thank you. I enjoy reading articles and changing, I hope for the better.
Thanks to! The article made me think deeply.
Liked Dobrovolskaya's answer
Good article and very necessary in any case for me right now. Thank you Allen and your team.
Thanks to. A very important technique for me now.
Of course, take care of yourself. Therefore, I continue to accept any circumstances according to your, Olga, advice and people according to Svetlana's prescription. Thank you both for this wonderful and valuable spread.
The video of Svetlana Dobrovolskaya's speech struck me with the fact that to accept a person means to leave him and not to destroy your life. Women usually suffer from drinking husbands until the end of his life.
Olga, thanks for the article! It is sometimes difficult for me to find the reason “why it happened”. I don't think it's always there. When I noticed this, I stopped looking for it, I just accept it and let it go.
Great… but this is the next stage… AFTER acceptance)
Yes, they inserted this fragment on purpose ... it resonated with me the most ...
Here is an ambush: few people can accept what is best for him ... especially when you need to break off relations (
There are many examples... more more examples when women consider themselves obliged to pull this cart for the rest of their lives.
Therefore, it is NOT worth all one size fits all ... we know WHO we are talking to)
Lack of interest in life is already a consequence ... You were not born like that, right?
Therefore, a more correct wording here would be: I accepted that I had given up on myself and my life ...
Thanks for the brevity and simplicity of the explanation.
Oh, yes ... I'm so ... kick, and then caress)
Well Duc ... who's stopping you from going to school and teaching? By the way, in our team, all the former teachers ... why would it be ?!
And I would have formulated the question differently) I was so sad, where the world is heading, and the Keys of Mastery project appeared ... Knowledge without application leads to gloomy pessimism and loss of desire to live. We still see...
Hmm… I didn’t even think about the sexual signs of enlightenment… I dragged it into the treasury of ideas for materials. thank!
When will your debut be on the Keys.
This is the SECRET - where you direct energy, it multiplies. You put a tremendous amount of energy into the fight. What a good investment!
Admit to yourself what is the hidden benefit of the struggle for you ...
The refrigerator broke down, we bought a new one ... there is an abundance of everything in stores now. AND?
Can you write a little more details?
We usually write about how to learn how to receive…not just how to give.
I will simply answer: why did you decide that they should do something differently? If you write down all the answers to this question, you will understand a lot about yourself.
By humility, there will be material ... the video has even been recorded already ... waiting for its turn.
Come to us and ask ... we will not think about what to write about ... and you are pleased and it is easier for us.
Oh, you can insert 5 kopecks ... ask me to write an essay, it is unlikely that it will work ... even from the 3rd time.
We have found a zest in structured articles and give preference to them. To write them, you need to understand what is going on and why.
So here you need to gain experience, but you can already accept ... I don’t know how to ski, so what?
Whose situation, he tenses)
Hmm... it seems to me that Svetlana Dobrovolskaya recently conducted such a broadcast...
Very important information - many do not even think to the point and lose their strength ... ..
Thank you. Today I tried ACCEPTANCE, I managed to accept myself and the situation. It became easier! Consciousness brighter.
spasIbo. takı sdelala. mahnula rukoı. I stlo vse taaaak legko.
Huge thanks for this article. Just in time for my insights this week. The hardest thing for me to accept is my family, which not only does not strive to develop at least somehow, but does not even know what it is and why to do it. My attempts to explain at least some basics or help meet a wall of misunderstanding and condemnation. You can leave an alcoholic husband, but you can’t leave your parents and sister (here I mean life, not living space). It’s easier to accept with circumstances or other people - it was and was, but here it was-is-will be, that’s why it’s difficult to accept ....
Thanks to! I have been looking for answers to my questions for a long time! Why is it hard for me to accept? Perhaps you just need to accept yourself and understand that you are worthy of what the Universe gives you))
A metamorphosis has taken place. Reading the article automatically occurred awareness and acceptance of all complex events of my life. what I think, everything is clear. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Thanks to Alena and Olga for interesting topic Acceptance and Humility. At first I went in, read everything and left. I’m sitting, and the topic is spinning in my head and decomposed like that. Accepting the situation is a manifestation of wisdom. Take it as a flash, insight, calmness sets in: “Yeah, that’s it, what’s the matter?.” The situation freezes motionless and unfolds in front of you into puzzles: all causal relationships, motives of behavior, etc. If you do not see this (this is also normal), in a state of acceptance of the situation by you, all these “puzzles” are open to higher plans and the situation is changing. HUMILITY. Suppose the situation is mobile, seething, hurting, destructive. And now you put all this baggage on your shoulders and drag it. Patience is already being developed here: “How long can I withstand all this?” When everything bothers you, you start to take care of yourself and after a while you come from humility to acceptance. In the first case Acceptance of the situation - you are the Creator. In the second case, Humility in front of the situation - you are the Victim. And another small conclusion: accepting yourself and situations is directly related to accepting your Wisdom. Thanks again to Alena and Olga, the brains begin to move in the right direction.
Accepting circumstances and resigning are not the same thing. To submit is to surrender rather and be ready to follow another's will. Humility is letting in something more than we can understand and accept. Humility = with Peace. That is, acceptance of the fact that there are processes in the world that are stronger than our personal ones. For example, the death of a loved one, mother. Humility before the death of a loved one and acceptance of the situation as it is, with acceptance own feelings, can give a strong expansion of consciousness. Deep humility can even lead to an experience of grace.
Therefore, I would suggest not to oversimplify or depreciate what S-Reconciliation can provide. It's just that very few people go in this direction of their own free will. And the world still teaches this.
We put everything on the shelves! Thank you for such a “general cleaning” in your thoughts.
))) I saw the video of Maris from the ski trip… when do you have time for everything?
Olga, many thanks for the article. The information field works so nicely - I had a question and ... immediately answered
Nice comparison, thanks Elena!
Acceptance - you are the Creator
Humility - you are the Victim
That's how I understand it.)
Thank you very much! The information came at the right time for me. Thanks to!
Thank you for the article. I really liked the first technique. I imagined how I get up slowly, brew herbal tea and talk with myself, the world, with the Almighty.
Reading about the morning acceptance of everything that happens to me, I felt internal resistance, almost to tears ... I understand with my mind that different people have the right to exist, but I cannot accept, for example, people who cause problems in my life - dishonest, malicious, irresponsible. What to do?
Thank you, I agree with everything. Finally, clarity came. Super.
Thank you, the acceptance mechanism has become clear.
Thank you, Alena, for your attention! My “refrigerators” are my mother and husband. "Buy" new mom? Husband ... According to my mother, it turns out that way, i.e. The WORLD did not leave me and I received a motherly attitude in life from other people, and gratitude for this lives in me. And my mother - now lives with me, nowhere else. I understand that I can’t change it, but I can’t change my attitude to the situation either. She herself is a mother of many children and grandmother many times, and the need for maternal affection and understanding goes off scale! According to her husband - it will be 40 years, as we know each other; a lot has happened over the years. Together - closely, apart - boring, such a story in the family. A stupid algorithm (sorry) has developed - our best qualities are manifested ONLY in case of an external threat, the whole family comes to the defense, and in a peaceful daily life we do not live like human beings. For the “benefit of fighting” with my husband ... I don’t want to fight! To be myself, the one I loved and love. This will make everyone feel better: him, me, children, grandchildren. And he, if, by analogy with a computer, gives out 1 time what is embedded, and 5 times - virus files, I think that "turns on the fool", but I know for sure - it can be different; what is the acceptance? I keep the HOUSE, where everyone goes, comes, asks for help. Good. But how much can everything be on me? This is in response to a phrase from your article on acceptance, “Acceptance of another person can be compared to motherly acceptance. Mother easily accepts pranks and any actions of a small unreasonable child. those. everyone around is stupid, I'm the only smart one ... it's not true.
I absolutely agree - if you are not able to change the situation, then there is nothing to worry about, the main thing is to understand when this is so)
I also believe that the concept of Humility is a more capacious concept, including Acceptance of the situation itself, and finding cause-and-effect relationships, and gaining Wisdom, the Greatness of the Divine laws of the Universe.
Thanks to! I really liked the example about accepting a person: You will not put rotten fruit in your compote. Something to think about and accept
There is something to work on! Thanks for the article and technique.
Thanks to! Just the right thing to work with!
THE ARTICLE IS GREAT! ONLY THE WORD "WHY" IS BETTER TO REPLACE "WHY". there is ALWAYS an UNCONSCIOUS CLAIM in the WORD "WHY" ..
wow, uploaded. Thanks
Yes, as always, working with awareness is the most difficult, but the most necessary work. Thank you for the article!
important topic, thanks for the simplicity
Acceptance of everyone and everything is a whole philosophy of life ... It's difficult. This should be instilled in a person from childhood. It's like unconditional love.
I find it hard to accept the shortcomings of my 12 year old daughter. Laziness, unwillingness to learn, irresponsibility. Lessons must be forced to do, she does not sit down to do anything. I can't accept it. I fight it. I'm upset. Can't I just let it go? I love her, she is my child. But I can't accept bad things. The further, the more difficult. Moreover, I myself was an excellent student, And now too - I belong to the type of workaholic. And my daughter is complete opposite. How to be? There were so many conflicts, conversations, notations - but there was no result.
I do not agree with the wording IMPERFECT PEOPLE. we are created in the image and likeness of God)))) he is perfect)))) in my opinion the wording NON-IDEAL PEOPLE is more accurate)))))
Thanks to! Helpful information.
Thank you. There are some very interesting points in the article.
azala))) I speak on the contrary, then in response - what's wrong with you? You carry the rune! So the question is - how can we reach an agreement ... He doesn’t hear me, I don’t understand him, and whoever is nearby says that we affirm one thing in common, but in different ways. Practically, the confession turned out))) Thank you for listening! It is valuable that he does not hear me, and the people who hear us say - how are they, mine, further? All other branches of our ROD with my husband were covered with a copper basin. In other words, I don’t see who B A HOUSE and FAMILY hold on to me, I’m not lying. And, if anything happens to me, we changed me, and I'm tired. I say openly - do whatever you think is necessary, only so that it doesn't get worse than it is now. Sometimes it happens...rarely. 3rd time editing, i.e. I add ... Hooked and flooded. I live by the principle - what is useful for the family, at home - YES, what harms - NO! And the husband in plain text - if only, not as you said, while writing and editing, I saw CHANGES. I don't know if it was your influence or if I should have said it; in any case, thank you.
Thank you for the valuable information, so useful and necessary for me personally! I realized that I don’t think about myself, I don’t care - I get nervous and shift problems to others, but I need to understand myself and be able to accept.
Thanks to! We are trying to do that...
Interestingly, at the moment when the hands drop and there is no strength: RAISE your hand and LOWER it with the words: Fuck it ...! Pass the solution UP. Cool, you have to try it, and you are right about the "rotten fruit"!
Super article, thanks! Everything seems to be not new, but so clearly structured, point by point, it finally came to me. I even made notes for myself.
Again, I am editing, everything is not included. HOUSE and FAMILY depend on me, I'm not lying. And, if something happens to me - how are they, mine further? All other branches of our ROD with my husband are interrupted. In other words, I don’t see who would replace me on guard, and I’m tired. I openly say to my relatives - do whatever you think is necessary, only so that it doesn’t get worse than it is now. Sometimes it happens, they take over ... rarely. I live by the principle - what is good for the HOME, FAMILY - yes, what harms - NO! And the husband - in plain text - if only not as you said, but when I go from the opposite, in response - what's the matter with you, you are talking nonsense! How to negotiate something? He does not hear me, I do not understand him, how we communicate through a glass wall. And people nearby say that we affirm one thing in common, but in different ways. Practically, the confession turned out))) So hooked. Thank you for listening! It is valuable that while writing and editing, I saw CHANGES. I don't know if it was your influence or if I should have said it; in any case, thanks!
As always, the necessary information in right time)) Thank you for the material!
People have every right to disagree with your notions of "good - bad." Try to answer yourself the question - why do you allow the appearance of problem situations in your life?
Natalia, what is important for you that your daughter be an excellent student? What would suit your requirements? Or that she would be happy?
Wow. Klyova)))) Thank you, Olga, great job - all the simple rules are reduced to one text. It turned out a very practical instruction for use, convenient! Well done!
I realized that I already know and can do all this, it is important to refresh now. And why? And because nothing happens “forever” - everything flows, everything changes. “What circumstances are the most difficult for me to accept?” - let's just say, what I like to work on!))) Over jealousy in all its masks and manifestations. Her donkey ears stick out here and there. It is on her that especially hot lessons fall out for me))
With one exception, I operate on the same principles, but first I give myself the opportunity to release the heat. Here it burns with a blue flame, here it screams with a good obscenity, here it howls like a beluga - burn it, yell and roar without any looking back and decency. Create a safe space and roar. Though literally a lamppost, even mentally in a toilet. Feel better? Then we work.
The doctors suggested this principle to me (Svetlana Dobrovolskaya calls it “raising vibrations” in the video): in an acute condition, for example, in intensive care, it is useless for a person to explain something about healthy eating or the benefits of flu shots - you first need to SAVE it, relieve the severity of the symptoms, but then - in a state of remission - you can “educate”. Gradually, I learn to take care of myself, NOT to drive me into a state of resuscitation, to catch “bust” on early signals. This is what I consider the most valuable result, when not only I caught myself on the edge, but when the light bulb in my head blinked in advance!
The most amazing thing is the gifts that I receive for every lesson learned))) This is a huge huge Love - beautiful in all its manifestations: from my cat rumbling on the head to the gentle chirping of a loved one, from kisses with a prickly cheek of a son or gentle hugs with a daughter to weather changes to make it good and comfortable for me to get somewhere or do something.
By the way, I sent this material to my daughter, let her have fun too!
Natalya, to whom and what are you proving with your workaholism? What are you hiding from?
I had a period when I behaved exactly like you. And I asked myself the same questions that I wrote to you. And she answered.
Believe me, after a lot of things change ...
Thank you for the honest answer. I have been stuck on this point for a long time ... and I don’t, no, well ... I thought maybe I did something wrong)))
Thanks for the info!
Thank you. Despite the fact that a lot of things may be familiar, it is always useful to refresh and rethink.
Thanks for the feedback!
It's not so much about the past situation as such, but about seeing the world, humanity, some people as they are, without the naivety of childhood and idealism. I call it hard real.
It is this disappointment that brings sadness with it. And the realization that life is not so fun thing turned out to be.
And naturally, this is also a kind of humility, since you can only work with yourself, and you can observe the rest, make your own suggestions, if my opinion is of interest ... and that’s all)))
Previously, there was more joy because of naivety and ignorance of the negative part of reality.
Probably like this...
Thanks a lot! Very relevant at this point in my life!
Can we have fun over sorrow?)))
Thanks to! Very informative and interesting
Thank you, Olga! I will apply! How much time I lost, proving injustice, but I just had to take care of myself! THANK YOU.
Thank you for the information
The most difficult thing is to accept the situation from the closest people, but it is these situations that give the most powerful spiritual growth! thank you, I'll use the technique!
Thank you. And when I wave my hand, I want to say, “Fuck it all. Or yes, you went to ... Probably, you need to change the beliefs associated with this gesture so that this responsibility is transferred to higher powers.)))
Yes, good project. Needed. I had difficulty understanding the meaning of the term "intention". For a long time it reached me)))) It seems I understood))))
Thanks to! I try to do this, but sometimes it is very difficult, you let off steam and again control your words and thoughts))
Thanks Olga for the useful information!
Thank you for the article! I do not agree with the definition of "humility". C-PEACE-EN - accept with the world. The fact that you write "accept what has already happened" expresses humility more deeply. ... In general, the article contains important systematized information that reaches both the heart and the mind. Thanks to!
Thank you, I liked the article. In my opinion, everything is clear and accessible. An addition to the techniques - the prayer of the Optina Elders always helps me tune in to acceptance. In my experience, she helped in the most difficult periods of life.
Thank you. it turned out to be very difficult for me to accept my daughter-in-law and her mother. Only thanks to the knowledge that these people in my life are not accidental and that they help me, it’s very tough to say, change and work through a lot. that has learned to accept them. I work on myself in all ways known to me, including a coach. It was very hard. I also want to say that my problem has nothing to do with the banal jealousy of my son's mother.
Thank you Alain, for me this topic was important. It was so difficult for me to accept the situation, the circumstances to the point of pain, I was constantly worried about how my loved ones were not fair to me. I suffered for many years because of this. and now I understand how cool it is when you live in a new way and take care of yourself, see mistakes and immediately correct them and do not bring yourself to suffering. You live in a new quality, you see the situation in full, you understand what is happening in the world, space, you have learned to live in unison and collect the golden grains of wisdom, then life becomes more fun. Thank you for helping people on earth. for the benefit of all and the highest good.
Thanks for the article and posting! Pretty accessible article. To many points came a long time ago. Affirmations for the chakras help VERY: increase self-esteem, self-confidence, as well as the acceptance of events and the world in general (it is important to start with yourself). The article helped to systematize and consolidate knowledge and experience. 🙂
I thank you, especially for the gesture, I used to see how it was often used))) It works)))
It is very difficult to accept your mother-in-law. She blows my mind regularly, at every meeting. Very arrogant, nasty and uncultured, sticks her nose everywhere. Got it!
Thanks for the gesture technique, I'll try ...
Olga, great article. I was just about to explain to one person about acceptance, and now I’ll just give you a link, let him study it himself =) Thank you =)
Thank you for the article! Acceptance of yourself, acceptance of others is known, but your techniques are just lovely, I will do it. Thanks again!
Oh, by the way. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
Thank you for the article. Very useful information
Thanks to! Very helpful and timely!
The other day, I once again worked on the topic of injustice and oppression of myself. The article came in handy. Thanks to.
THANK YOU Alena! A very important article, although the information is perceived ambiguously the first time.
Thanks a lot. All information from your site is like living water for me.
If you don’t express yourself obscenely, this gesture breaks out when it’s already burned out ...
THANK YOU! A very important article, although the information is perceived ambiguously the first time.
I have the opposite situation. They don’t accept me: I really annoy my colleague, my friend wants to “help” - “your path is a dead end. Come back to the bosom…” I give it to the higher forces. Thanks
Thanks a lot. Highly interesting article! I will definitely use the practice.
Thanks to. Important. A video by Svetlana Dobrovolskaya was helpful about acceptance.
What is the hardest thing for me to accept? When my loved ones feel bad. Get sick. Someone said or did something to them that hurt them, etc.
Thank you. A very good article, structures and lays out the concepts that I have already mastered. I am learning, but it is most difficult for me to accept the misfortunes and troubles of children.
But the question hangs - is there still a place for humility in our Life or not. Does the word have the same meaning now - what it was originally?
It seems like it turns out with-reconciliation - that is, so that with the world, you accept what comes from the world. But the meaning that is now in this word causes indignation, because it really turns into a weak-willed person.
You misunderstood me. Of course, to be happy! I'm not talking about the fact that I want her to be an excellent student. Not at all! The main thing that worries me is her laziness, softness and aimlessness. After all, these qualities will not make a person happy! And I’m talking about lessons, because at this age, a person’s school activity is the main activity. In order for a person to take place in life, one must first finish school - I’m not saying that it’s great! and then get some kind of education, which is also not necessarily excellent. This is what we're talking about. And when a child has only one thought - to pick up a tablet, and don't give a damn about the rest - that's what worries me.
I shared, as they say, the most painful question.
And instead of helping you attack me.
I don't prove anything to anyone. I work 2 jobs to have money. And in between work - household chores. So it turns out that a workaholic. I don't hide at the top. I was 20 years ago.
My main question is this - how to accept the laziness and softness of your child? I have examples in my life that these qualities lead to bad company, to alcohol. Because such a person is a follower. My brother was like that. Now he is no more ... And my daughter shows qualities similar to what her brother had ..
That's what I'm afraid of and can't accept. Do you understand? When a person is quiet, and then lies in the eyes? Should it be accepted? Or should we fight it?
Hello! I thank KM and the author Olga for this material. As always, everything is very clear and intelligible. The topic of acceptance for me began from the moment I realized the problem with my alcoholic husband. And today, when he is already ex, and several years have passed, I can say that everything worked just like that. Thank you for your contribution to my results! In addition, during this time my environment has changed. Both Alena and Svetlana warned about this in one of the trainings that I took (I don’t remember which one specifically). I broke up with someone who "interfered", and many like-minded people appeared. It all started with Acceptance - that was the very first step!
Thanks, Alena! Despite the fact that the topic is already familiar and understandable for me, some points were shown
Thanks to! Good stuff. It's good for me to give up, otherwise the wrestling spirit is still strong.
Thanks to! Very relevant!
Thank you sincerely! And I love you girls for your help, for your positive, for your energy!
It really works when you are accepting and not resigning! Sometimes, anyway, the ego comes out, starts to be offended, even to cry, but then your help comes in time in the form of such necessary articles and you start working on yourself and everything falls into place.
I began to accept difficult situations, and not look for the guilty. Thanks Alena.
I noticed that since I began to accept situations and accept myself, there have been fewer rakes in my path. Of course, the pendulum checks, but now it’s not difficult to figure it out. Thank you.
Very good article! Thank you Olga! And Svetlana Dobrovolskaya, as always, is helpful and wise.
The material of your site is very valuable for my family now. After meditation, returning to my place in January, sausages like an adult, it hurts that the children are involved, I’m back on the road and ask for Alena’s advice, tomorrow I’ll be at home, please write to the mail how to get advice, thank you in advance,
Natalia, wait to be offended! We pounced not on you, but for you! You - well done, plucked up courage and declared your "growth point". And the people reached out to help you! Note, different words, but without saying a word, everyone shows you the same pain point, and you stubbornly “see” it in another - even in a different person! Your daughter has nothing to do with it. She just mirrors herself to you. She misses your LOVE as much as you do. You just do not accept her for who she is, as well as yourself. She doesn't want to grow up just like you. So why be offended?
Go to this point of growth! See what's there. Be honest with yourself. Believe me, you are not the first and you will not be the last to walk this path. It only seems scary, but in fact it is exciting and very productive!
Speaking quite pragmatically, let's say in the 3D dimension, no one teaches us how to be a parent, how to become a good mother. We are learning ourselves. In this matter, my heart leads me: at the moment of the same spiritual anguish, I asked myself, what would it mean for me to have a good mother? - So that she loves me, and that's it! Loved and understood! Everything. And this is a job for you, not for your daughter.
Please accept my most sincere wishes - I believe in you!
Thank you. Very well presented information. It is easy to read, understand, think about what needs to be changed. A completely different approach to life situations.
I noticed when you accept or agree “yes, it has already happened”, then you understand the responsibility for changing the situation or working on yourself. Well, let's get started...
Thanks a lot! This is very valuable information for me!
Learned to accept not immediately, of course. “Bumps” stuffed ... I didn’t study any practices specifically. But she was engaged in self-development, and somehow awareness gradually came. Now I separate myself from the former one) There is a result and it makes me happy!
THANK YOU! VERY TIMELY.
Thank you very much interesting techniques. I will try to remember and apply as a guide to action.
Acceptance, from my point of view, is the acceptance of people and events as they are.
Thanks Olga for a great article! Very topical today!
Alena, you have a wonderful and talented team! Goodies! Such an amazing state after each read material!
A very good article, I came across it for a reason, I'm just now working on it in myself. thank you all)))))
Thank you for reassuring me a little. It's true that I lack love. My mother died 11 years ago. I really miss her ... And my husband is very stingy with love. We were not taught to be moms, but I intuitively understand. I try to give my children my love. I really love them very much. My eldest daughter has been a smart girl since childhood, there were no problems with her. But the younger one in question is of great concern. She does not lend herself to education. Just hope in God...
How interesting and rich everything is with you: you have a husband, and one daughter, and another daughter! You are a happy woman! You just need to accept that the source of your love, your strength is not outside: not in your husband, not in your mother (blessed memory), not in eldest daughter- and in YOU, Natalia. You are this huge generous source of love. And not only (and not so much!) For others, but for yourself first of all. And secondly, the youngest daughter shows you exactly this: there is no point in “deserving” love, you don’t need to beg for it or steal it - you need to generate and scoop it. You need to learn this. How? Alena on the Keys has many, many techniques - choose according to yourself. And from my life I will say: firstly, I learned to be lazy))) Yes, yes! And the second, and the youngest daughter to help you! - I recognized myself as a small child in my children - feeling their fears and doubts, experiencing their mistakes and pain, I felt the pain and fear of the girl that I myself once was. And I learned to forgive myself for all the mistakes that I made, and for which I rotted myself mercilessly, and to love myself so completely wrong and imperfect. Be your own mother, if you will. I learned to separate actions (mistakes) from the personality itself ... In general, there is a lot of work, and I congratulate you on this! Grow up, grow up, it's great!)))) Everything lends itself only to love!)))
I'm sorry if I was harsh with you.
Oh sure! I understand that they shouldn't, everyone has their own life, their own understanding of "what is good, what is bad." But I don’t know how to analyze, draw a cause-effect relationship and understand the mechanism of the emergence of problems in my life, apparently, I am not given. In order not to be disappointed, is it necessary not to be "fascinated"? Initially think about all bad? Until I learned.
Thank you. Very interesting and timely. Inspired
Helen writes. OLD AGE is one huge lesson in acceptance. Acceptance of oneself weak, sick, acceptance of the outgoing beauty, outgoing sex, outgoing mental abilities, leaving feelings (vision, hearing, taste sensations), leaving friends, children who have grown up and left, acceptance of loneliness. All this weakens the attachment to the human body and the 3D world.
Olenka, thanks for the article. Acceptance of myself, the situation for me is the magic key to bringing myself back to normal emotionally, especially when I am annoyed by the actions of other people. For example, in our yard someone scatters huge, old furniture buttons. And each time, instead of going on business, you need to repair the wheels. (Precious time, money, and the nervous system are spent on repairs). Practice shows that as soon as you accept the situation, a miracle happens, no matter what happens, but the mood improves and the situation is resolved.
Thanks to. I'll try the first technique today.
There is such a useful prayer of the Optina Elders: “Lord, give me peace of mind to meet everything that the coming day will bring me…etc. Same
Vladimir, thank you for wonderful words🌹! They sounded like a long-awaited gift to me! Thank you and wish you happiness! Real!
Thanks for the reminder.
Thanks to! I really liked to give up on everything!
Thanks to! For me, this article worked like a hint.
I have had one awkward situation where I expressed my reproach. Hurt a person. Although she had previously warned that it was likely to happen to her. Each time she assured me that she was no longer connected with what she was warned against.
And so, when she began to tell me in tears that this had happened, I was in shock. It turns out that all this time she not only cheated, but also did nothing to prepare herself for accepting this situation.
Perhaps she was looking for sympathy in me, but I had an emotional indifference.
For about 8 months, day after day, we discussed this topic with her. And the result not only turned out to be zero, but also went into the red.
I decided to digress and opened this article, which I wanted to read even earlier.
I read and catch myself thinking that I did everything right, that I had long wanted to move away from this client. I realized that she will not change and she needs to be released in order to devote more time to those who hear about what in question and makes to change himself.
And on the other hand, this article turned out to be like support from above: “Give up on this!”
Previously, it was very difficult, always experienced the right thing, did not do the right thing. And now this situation was not accidental and waved with ease, received relief. I realized that the development of my soul continues.
Thank you so much for the invisible support bound in the Higher World!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart. There are so many things I want to write, but all the emotions of gratitude for your work cannot be expressed in words!
SIXTH STAGE OF AWAKENING
6. Accept as is - "Virgo Stage".
How more people is able to understand, accept and love that incarnation of the Higher Spirit, which looks at him point-blank from the mirror - himself - the more chances he has to see the same Spirit inside others. It's time to take fate into your own hands, to accept the real you for who you are.
Accept as is
I often ask men this question: "Does your wife love you?" They answer: "Yes, of course." Then I ask, "Does she like you the way you are?" The answer usually sounds like this: "No."
In many cases, the wife's antipathy is interpreted by husbands as disrespect and even contempt. In his perception, she has changed a lot since they started dating. Her enthusiasm and approval suddenly disappeared somewhere. Now she treats him disapprovingly and shows it with her whole appearance. So the husband decides to push her into more respectful behavior by stopping his love for her. This does not succeed in the same way that the wife loses in her strategy.
To accept as it is means to allow the person to be as they are, without trying to judge, compare, avoid, resist, resist, suppress, ignore, deny, devalue, change or hold on to. To accept as is implies attentiveness and awareness in relation to the object of acceptance.
Acceptance as is is carried out by the Soul (pure consciousness), and not by the mind. The mind cannot accept it as it is, it can only do something about what it perceives: evaluate, compare, calculate, avoid, resist it, resist it, suppress it, ignore it, deny it, devalue it, change it in any way, or hold it - and this is not is acceptance as is.
When you are disappointed or upset about a person or situation, remember that you are not really reacting to the person or situation, but to the feelings and emotions you have about that person or situation. This is your choice, your feelings, and your choice cannot be someone else's fault. When you fully realize and understand this, you will be ready to take responsibility for your feelings and change them if you wish. And if you can accept things as they are, you will be ready to take responsibility for the situations that arise in your life and for all the events in which you see any problems.
Whatever relationships you are attracting in your life right now, they are exactly what you need right now. There is a hidden meaning behind all the events taking place in your life, everything ultimately serves your development and evolution. When you resist the current moment, you are actually resisting the entire universe. Instead, it would be much wiser to decide, starting from now, to stop fighting the entire universe, resisting the present moment. This means that your acceptance of the present moment will be complete and absolute. You will accept things as they are, not as you would like them to be at the moment. It's important to understand this. You may wish things were different in the future, but in this moment you accept everything as it comes to you.
Acceptance means that you make a commitment to:
"Today I will accept people, situations, circumstances and events as they are."
This means that I know that this moment is as it should be because the entire universe is as it should be. This moment - the one you are experiencing right now - is the culmination of all the moments you have experienced in the past. This moment is the way it is because the whole universe is the way it is.
God never judges or criticizes us. He accepts us for who we are. In order to change others, you must first change yourself. You need to change the way you think.
Read the following instructions and try to reread them until they are absorbed by your subconscious mind.
1. Today I will accept people, situations, circumstances and events as they happen, as they are. I will know that this moment is as it should be, because the entire universe is as it should be. I will not resist the entire universe through resistance to this moment. My acceptance will be complete and all-encompassing. I accept things as they are.
2. By accepting things as they are, I will be Responsible for this situation that is developing around me and for all those events that I see as problems. I know that taking responsibility means not blaming anyone for how this situation is developing (including me). I also know that in every problem there is an opportunity and my conscious attitude to this opportunity will allow me to use this moment to transform it to the maximum advantage.
3. Today I will consciously proceed from openness. I give up the need to defend my point of view, the need to convince or persuade other people to my point of view.
You don't have to pretend at all. Just let the situation be as it is, that's all. This “allowing to be” will take you beyond the mind with all its patterns of resistance that create positive-negative polarities. This is the essence of forgiveness. Forgiving the present is even more important than forgiving the past. If you forgive every current moment - allow it to be as it is - then you will not accumulate resentment, which some time later will still have to be forgiven.
Acceptance will immediately free you from the dominance of the mind and, in doing so, you will be able to re-establish an intuitive connection with your Soul. And as a result, the usual motivations of the ego - that is, fear, greed, the desire for control, protection, or indulgence in a false sense of self - cease to operate. Now the spiritual mind, which is much superior to the mind, is taking over, and therefore a qualitatively different level of consciousness will flow into your doing.
Most people need to go through great suffering before they can leave their resistance and accept everything as it is, before they learn to forgive. But when they do this, one of the greatest miracles is performed: it is through what seems to be evil that the awakening of the Divine consciousness occurs - the transmutation of suffering into inner peace. Final goal and the meaning of all the evil and suffering that exists in the world is that they encourage people to realize who they really are beyond their name and body. Therefore, what we, relying on our narrow vision, perceive as evil, is in fact part of the highest good, which has no opposite. However, this cannot become true for you except through forgiveness. Until this happens, we will not get rid of evil, and therefore evil continues to exist.
Through forgiveness, which in its essence means recognizing the unreality of the past and allowing the present moment to be as it is, the magic of transformation is performed not only inside, but also outside. A soundless space of deepest presence arises both within and around you. Whoever and whatever gets into this field of consciousness experiences its influence, sometimes quick and obvious, and sometimes felt for more deep levels, and then the changes become noticeable only after a while. You dissolve discord, heal pain, dispel unawareness - without doing anything - by just being and holding the vibrational frequency of your deepest presence.
When you live in a state of complete acceptance of what is, then this becomes the finale of all your life dramas. Then no one can even drag you into an argument, no matter how hard he or she tries. Can't fully argue with conscious person. Arguing involves identifying yourself with your mind and with your mental position, as well as with your resistance and reaction to the other person's position. The result of a dispute is usually mutual reinforcement and strengthening of the opposing parties. This is the principle of the mechanism of unconsciousness. You, being in a state of acceptance, will still be able to have a clear and firm point of view, but behind it there will no longer be jet force, there will be neither defense nor attack. And it will never turn into a drama. When you are fully aware, you come out of the state of conflict.
“Being at one with yourself, it is impossible to even think about conflict,” states A Course in Miracles.
This applies not only to cases of conflict with other people, but to a much greater extent to internal conflict, which also ceases, because the disagreement between what your mind requires and expects and what is there disappears.
© Eckhart Toll - The Power of the NOW Moment
OPENNESS
Openness means that your conscious attitude to people, events and circumstances comes from openness and you refuse the need to convince or persuade other people to your point of view. If you observe those around you, you will notice that people spend ninety-nine percent of their time defending their point of view. If you simply give up the need to defend your point of view, then in this refusal you will gain access to a huge amount of energy that was previously wasted.
When you defend yourself, blame others, and don't accept or give in to the moment, your life meets resistance. Try to understand that whenever you encounter resistance and force the situation, the resistance only increases. It is not likely that you should continue to stand firm, like a mighty oak whose branches are broken and roots are pulled out of the ground during a hurricane, and which eventually collapses under the pressure of the elements. Instead, it makes sense to be flexible, like a reed that bends in the wind and eventually straightens and survives.
When you have nothing to defend, you do not allow even a hint of an argument to arise. If you do this persistently and consistently, if you stop fighting and resisting, you are able to fully feel and experience the present moment, which is truly a gift. That is why this moment in the present is called "the gift."
If you fully accept the present and become one with it, merge with it, you experience a fire, a glow, a spark of ecstasy that vibrates in every being living in harmony. As you begin to feel the exultation of the spirit in every living being, as you begin to get closer to it, joy begins to be born in you and you leave your former terrible burdens and heaps of denial, security, pain and resentment. Only then do you become a person with a bright heart, carefree, joyful and free.
Whatever relationships you are attracting in your life right now, they are exactly what you need right now. There is a hidden meaning behind all the events taking place in your life, everything ultimately serves your development and evolution.
Deepak Chopra. "7 Spiritual Laws of Success".
RESPONSIBILITY
The personality of a modern person is split into several parts, and each of its fragments has its own character and its own independent memory. They exist relatively independently of each other and can be replaced at any time. A split intellect forms two lives. In one, we are unusually strict with ourselves, we carefully analyze every idea before speaking out about it - in the other, on the contrary, we extremely easily allow all sorts of compromises, we easily do not notice what we do not want to notice. We come to terms with this division. Our activities often run counter to our spiritual pursuits. We are aware of the harm of our activity, but for which each of us does not consider himself responsible. We have no sense of personal responsibility, no courage, and no even consciousness of their necessity.
The main problem in the life of every person is understanding and accepting himself. No one is able to understand and accept himself until someone else understands him and accepts him for who he is. As soon as we are accepted and loved for who we are, then those painful symptoms that most of us struggle with all our lives will be removed by this understanding and acceptance of ourselves.
A sense of responsibility - a positive sense of guilt, it is also the voice of conscience, ennobles. In a frightened person, guilt is expressed in a sense of duty. A negative sense of guilt, it is also a sense of duty, aggravates. The desire to get rid of the sense of duty that complicates life, causes the need to work, but without introducing the energy of one's love into work. A frightened person performs work in a race with fears, but does not receive full satisfaction. Imperceptibly, the need to do work turns into an obligation to do work. A sense of duty is imposed, while a person takes on a sense of responsibility himself. And what else, if not a duty, is the accusation: "You don't love me!".
Responsibility - means not blaming anyone for the situation that you have. Then you accept this circumstance, this event, this problem. Every problem contains the seeds of opportunity, and being aware of this allows you to take the moment as it is and transform it into something better.
When you do this, any upsetting situation becomes an opportunity to create something new and beautiful, and any so-called tormentor or tyrant becomes your teacher. Reality is interpretation. And if you choose to interpret reality in this way, there are many teachers around you and many opportunities for development.
Whenever you encounter a tormentor, despot, teacher, friend or foe (they are all the same), remind yourself, "This moment is as it should be."
Whatever relationships you are attracting in your life right now, they are exactly what you need right now.
There is a hidden meaning behind all the events taking place in your life, everything ultimately serves your development and evolution.
Be imbued with responsibility and the desire to move on. They will help you if your desire is pure and sincere, but not immediately. Do not expect alms from God, beggars get crumbs.
© Luule Viilma - Light source of love
In modern society, many people live in an outdated and pernicious “Victim – Tyrant” model of consciousness. The position of the Victim is terrible. The victim suffers literally from everything: from harmful neighbors, from persons of the wrong nationality, from weather conditions, from bad mood, from wrong laws and government, etc. The list goes on. Everyone around is to blame for her suffering, because nothing depends on the victim.
Now imagine, at least for a while, that you have moved from the position of the Victim to the position of the Owner. You have taken 100% responsibility for your life. Together with the people around you, the forces of Nature create all the situations in your life. Immediately, the world around you begins to change, lit up with all the colors of the rainbow. You are the masters of your emotions, you control the events of your life and enjoy every day. You feel like the Creator.
NOTHING IS RANDOM
Why am I in trouble?Let's begin with NOTHING IS RANDOM. This world is arranged in a certain way, and there are Higher Laws to which everything that happens is subject. Ignorance, misunderstanding or rejection of these laws does not invalidate them. We can say that Life is built on the principle of a school where we must learn wisdom: to know the laws of life and live in accordance with them in order to enjoy every moment of life.
We live in closed system in which all its parts are closely interconnected with each other and have mutual influence, so nothing is accidental, and nothing passes without a trace. What you radiate is what you receive. What goes around comes around. What comes back to you is what you do for others. Folk wisdom. Golden Rule from Buddhism - "Do not do to another what you do not wish for yourself" - is built on the understanding of this.
Why is it hard to understand. Because life here has a duration (time, inertia) and "return" does not come immediately. When you launch a boomerang, it needs time to fly away, reach its destination and return; and while it flies, other boomerangs launched before that return to you. Since the mind (in most cases) cannot trace this cause and effect relationship, there is no understanding that nothing happens by chance. Everything is interconnected and natural.
We need to understand that the troubles that happen to us are not a punishment from God, ( Higher Forces etc.), but the result of our violation of these very Divine laws. In other words, I myself was the cause of these troubles. Accepting this as a fact (I am responsible for what happens to me), we create an opportunity for spiritual growth: learning, correcting our mistakes and achieving the highest goal - happiness.
Higher Laws are absolutely fair and harmonious(Selfishness sometimes does not allow to see it). You are the cause of what is happening to you. You have to understand what it is like to do/have done to others. Only in this way can you learn wisdom and become happy. That is why this world is so.
You can not be offended or angry at the person who creates trouble for you. Otherwise, it will lead to the strengthening of one's own Ego, which feeds on negativity. In this case, spiritual growth is impossible or inhibited. Another person, through whom the trouble came, is not the source of this trouble, but only its conductor. Through it, Life points out your own mistakes, asks you to think, realize and make correct conclusions. There would be no this person, there would be another, but the situation would have turned out the same.
There's a lesson to be learned from adversity. Unless, of course, we do not want to step on the same rake again. If the same trouble comes into your life again and again, this indicates a repeated step on the same rake. Life is trying to teach us something, but we still do not learn and do not learn. We do not think (preferring to blame others), we do not draw the right conclusions and continue to do stupid things. Therefore, Life is forced to teach us with the help of more and more severe situations. It can go far and be more and more painful.
How to learn from an unpleasant situation?
The first step is to accept the situation as it is..
I myself have attracted it into my life - thoughts, words and deeds. It is an attitude of responsibility that opens the door of wisdom. There is no other way to wisdom. Shifting responsibility to other people, God, etc. - this is the path of degradation, not spiritual growth.
The second step is to discover your mistake, the cause of an unpleasant situation.. This requires careful analysis. You may not immediately remember (not understand, not realize) what your actions attracted this trouble, especially if it was not in this life (the ego will try to take advantage of this factor to stop analyzing the situation). But just remember - nothing is accidental. Think about what aspect of Egoism your life points to through this person or situation? What negative or destructive personality trait of another evokes a reaction in you? Have you shown this aspect of the ego to someone? If something about someone else makes you feel bad, that means you have it too. You have to find out what it is. Seek and you will find.
The outside world is a reflection inner world . Tell me how you see the world and I will tell you how you are. We see in others only what we have in ourselves.
Attempts to change another (without changing yourself) are a manifestation of the Ego, unreasonable egoism, and, as a rule, this approach does not work. Change yourself, others will change. In extreme cases, your attitude towards them will change, and this will no longer hurt you, the problem will disappear. Therefore, if you want to change your life for the better, start with yourself.
The third step is the eradication of the discovered aspect of the ego.. This can be done in various ways. For starters, you can work it out as a duality. Perhaps this will be enough. In life, this aspect of the ego can simply be observed and realized, and gradually it will disappear. You can also purposefully manifest in life the opposite of this aspect (a positive character trait). Try different options.
Be authentic!
Be authentic - true to yourself!
But society puts us in jail.
Only the inner voice leads through life,
And they imposed control and calculation on us.
The whole world is a supermarket, and everything is sold,
And everyone is surrounded by temptations comfort.
If you listen to other sellers,
You will lose yourself and be a fool.
Your meditation is to listen to yourself.
Your truthfulness adorns you.
Don't wear a mask, be yourself
Even if you pay a big price!
But you must not tear off the masks of strangers!
After all, everyone is what he wants to become.
He can take off his mask, or he can play.
No one has the right to change anyone.
Never be a hypocrite with yourself.
Sad - be sad, and anger does not matter.
Don't ruin your face with a fake smile.
Be authentic - true to yourself to the end!
© Sergey Olkhovoi The essence of my Manifestation is the Harmony of all Existing, the Unity of the diversity of forms of Creation.. The beauty of that Creation that begins in Me and pours out of me, like waves of pure Light... Everything that I come into contact with is only the facets of the Manifestation of my Consciousness, everything is that primordial light impulse penetrating the spaces of all Worlds and Spheres, manifesting the form only in the field of my energies...
My light body- the structure of Truth, Divine Wisdom, which I am, which is inseparable from me, which is I ... And all I need is to ALLOW Wisdom to flow freely, not to interfere with the act of Creation, that beautiful Universe that is being created here and now, that is born inside me in the Perfection of sound, colors and feelings... TO ACCEPT my Divine nature, the Beauty of that Harmony that nourishes every cell and every atom of this Universe with Goodness, penetrating my whole being with the breath of Eternity...
The wings of the Spirit stretch along the skies of all times and epochs, touch the very depths of the Universe, exposing the Sacred Truth of the Source of infinite Love... How Magical and Benevolent here... it is beyond all understanding, beyond all feelings... it is a swirling whirlwind of Love and Freedom, all-consuming Creative Fire... Absolute Silence, containing the voices of all birds, melodies of all songs...
The Absolute Void, filled with the life of all manifested and non-embodied, fragrant with ethers of all colors... Absolute Darkness, illuminated by the beauty of the radiance of all colors and rainbows... Absolute Chaos, the Chaos of the continuous dance of emerging and dying Galaxies... All this is the Absolute Harmony of the One. .. All this is my True Essence...
In the unconditional acceptance of my Primordial nature, in the feeling of the Unity of all Existing, I am filled with Radiance Divine Love, I find peace and tranquility, completely surrendering to the streams of Freedom, smoothly and serenely carrying me along the waves of infinite Bliss... The happiness that breathes inside blooms like a flower, and the beauty of its Perfection, and the aroma of gentle ethers, spreads through the Universe, transforming space ...
Copyright © 2015 Unconditional Love
