There comes a time in everyone's life when they have to make a difficult decision. How to make the right decision when in doubt? What direction of study to choose? The partner with whom I am now will not disappoint me in the future, do I have love with him for life? Should I accept the offer or can I find a more interesting job? These are just some of the dilemmas most of us face.

The choice of what to buy - apples or pears, seems insignificant compared to decisions whose consequences can affect a lifetime. How can you be sure that you are making the right decisions? How to avoid internal dissonance, the impression that the option you gave up might be better than the one you chose? How to use difficult decisions?

Decision-making methods

Two decision-making strategies are mainly used - heuristics and algorithms. Thinking algorithmically, a person carefully studies and analyzes, compares the pros and cons of a particular option. Heuristics saves us time because it appeals to emotions, intuitions, preferences, internal beliefs, without "calculation".

It seems that in the case of a difficult choice, it is wiser to think things over carefully several times before making a final decision. Meanwhile, people are very often guided by their hearts rather than their minds - even in the case of making decisions that affect their entire life (for example, when choosing a life partner). How to understand what is best for us in this situation?

Depending on the rank of the problem, a person usually uses from 1 to 3 decision-making strategies. What methods are used to make life choices?

1. Obtaining information from others

When you do not know what to decide on, you often use the support of loved ones, friends, family. Are you consulting, looking for Additional information. If you need to make a difficult decision, you should consult with others, ask what they would do in a similar situation. Brainstorming, sharing opinions with others helps to look at the problem with new point vision.

2. Postponing a decision in time

If no one and nothing helps, take your time with the choice, give yourself time. You may temporarily not feel strong enough to make decisions that could affect your entire life. Postponing a decision until later can be a good idea, because during this time new facts may be discovered that will help make a choice. But it is important not to put it off indefinitely, in the end you need to decide.

3. Eliminate the worst options

When you have several different options and you don't know which one to prefer, make a choice, eliminating what seems to be the worst and least interesting. At the end of such a screening, there will be a better alternative.

4. Choosing the lesser evil

The choice is not always between good-better or good-worse: you have to choose between two not the most attractive options. How do you choose between two equally unpleasant alternatives?

You need to choose what carries less potential negative consequences and come to terms with the decision. There are things that we simply cannot influence. Therefore, sometimes it is easier to come to terms with the need to make a decision with bad consequences than to accept such a choice.

5. Before you choose, analyze

This is a strategy related to algorithmic thinking. List the pros and cons of each of the alternatives and choose the one that has more positive consequences. In other words, a balance is drawn up of the gains and losses associated with choosing one option and rejecting the other. However, such a cold calculation is not always possible, because sometimes emotions take precedence over reason.

6. Act on the spur of the moment

Sometimes there is neither time nor opportunity to consider the proposals received for a long time. Then you need to make a decision spontaneously, immediately, on hot hand. In this case, it is better to trust your instincts, inner voice. Not always, guided by emotions, we act recklessly. In retrospect, this turns out to be the right decision, so trust yourself and your intuition.

7. Descartes square

One of the most efficient and simple ways make a difficult decision. You are invited to analyze any situation or problem with different points vision. To make the right decision, answer four questions by looking at the figure below.

Be careful when answering the fourth question, because your brain will try to ignore the double negative and try to answer like the first one. Don't let this happen!

Why is this method so effective? When you are in a situation that requires you to make a difficult decision, you often get stuck at the first point - what happens if that happens? However, Descartes' square allows us to look at the problem in many ways and make a carefully considered and informed choice.

8. PMI Method

How to effectively make difficult decisions? You can use the Edward de Bono method - the PMI method. This abbreviation is a derivative English words(plus, minus, interesting). The method is very simple. It is based on the fact that before a decision is made, it is comprehensively evaluated. A table is drawn on a sheet of paper with three columns (pluses, minuses, interesting), and arguments for and against are indicated in each of the columns. In the “interesting” column, everything is written that is not good and not bad, but at the same time connected with the decision.

Below is an example. Decision: whether to rent an apartment on the outskirts with a friend?

When is issued given table, a scoring is made for each of the arguments in accordance with the direction (arguments for are indicated by a plus, against - by a minus). For example, for someone greater value It has more space than pleasant company. At the end, the value of all arguments is summed up and it is determined whether the balance will be positive or negative.

The PMI method cannot be called innovative, it is not fundamentally different from how we make decisions in Everyday life. It seems that he appreciates the strong and weak sides this choice. Nothing is further from the truth. Most of us, when making a decision, actually take it for ourselves from the very beginning and then select arguments that would justify our choice. Even if it turns out that the decision we made has 3 more minuses, we will still choose it. People are actually not very rational, guided more by personal preferences, taste, etc. Pros and cons on a sheet of paper will allow for an accurate analysis, at least with a partial disconnection of emotions.

People are very often afraid of the consequences of their choices and do not like to make decisions. They would willingly shift the responsibility for their lives onto other people. Unfortunately, if we want to be happy, we must learn to solve our own problems and bear the burden of life's choices. There is no guarantee that others would do it better for us. We will never know if the options we ignored are better than the ones we chose, so don't weep over spilled milk and constantly regret the positives of rejected alternatives. Constantly lasting dissonance kills us morally.

Today I will tell you what methods will allow you make the right decision and learn to make decisions in general. This article will be based not only on my experience, but also on the decision-making methodology outlined in famous book Chip Heath and Dean Heath - ". This technique helps to make effective choices in business, in life, in career and in education. Here I will outline the main points of this technique, and also talk about what helps me personally in finding the right solutions.

Method 1 - Avoid "narrow borders"

Often we fall into the trap of "narrow frames", when our thinking reduces all the diversity possible solutions There are only two problems: yes or no, to be or not to be. “Should I divorce my husband or not?” "Should I buy this one? expensive car Or ride the subway? Should I go to the party or stay at home?

When we choose only between "Yes or No", in fact, we are stuck in only one alternative (eg, breaking up with her husband, making a purchase) and ignoring the others. But maybe there are other options in your relationship besides breaking up with your partner and returning to the status quo. For example, try, discuss problems, go to a family psychologist, etc.

If you choose not to buy an expensive car on credit, it doesn't mean that exhausting subway rides are your only remaining alternative. You can probably buy a cheaper car. But, perhaps, the most correct choice will lie in a different plane of decisions. Maybe it will be more convenient and profitable to rent an apartment closer to work. Or change jobs to less distant from home.

An alternative to choosing between different breeds cats or dogs, it may be for you to go to the nursery and choose the homeless pet that you like best.

This seems like an obvious tactic for thinking about choices, yet many people continue to fall into the same traps. There is always a temptation to reduce the problem to a yes or no dichotomy. We instinctively strive for this, because it is much easier to consider the problem only in black and white, and not in all its diversity. But it turns out that with this approach we only create difficulties for ourselves.

Also, we often try to consider a choice between two extremes, although it is possible to find a compromise between them in the middle. Or we don’t notice that both of these extremes can be implemented simultaneously and in fact it is not at all necessary to choose one of them.

Method 2 - Expand the selection

This method is a development of the previous method. Many of us know situations when we want to make an important purchase, for example, to buy an apartment. We arrive at the first apartment and we are fascinated by it appearance, and the realtor offers "favorable" terms of the transaction and thereby provokes us to make a quick decision. And we are already thinking not about “which apartment to choose”, but about “whether to buy this particular apartment or not to buy”.

Do not hurry. It is better to look at five apartments, instead of buying the first one that comes across. Firstly, it will allow you to better navigate the real estate market. Perhaps there are better suggestions. Secondly, the time you spend looking at the rest of the offers will “cool down” your instant emotions. And momentary emotions always interfere with the right choice. While you are under their influence, you may overlook some obvious flaws in the apartment you like, but as time passes, you will be able to see the whole picture more clearly.

We become too attached to the goal to which our thinking is initially tuned. And this forms a strong inertia in decision-making: we are ready to see only what confirms our decision, and we ignore what contradicts it. For example, you wanted to enter a certain university from school. After a few years you failed on entrance exams. And now you are thinking about preparing hard and trying your luck again in a year. You dismiss all the arguments of your friends in favor of choosing another university, as you are used to thinking that your choice is the best.

But what if in the few years it took you to finish school, the situation has changed and the university you want to go to is no longer the same as before? Suddenly new promising educational institutions appeared? Don't get attached to your choice and spend comparative analysis. Expand your selection! Check out the curriculum and teaching staff in other institutions. What other universities offer a similar program?

Getting less attached to one alternative will help you helper method"disappearance of options".

Variant Disappearance Method

Imagine that the alternative you have chosen cannot be chosen for some reason. For example, the university you want to enter, let's say, was closed. Now think about what you would do if this really happened. And start doing it. You would probably look at other possibilities, and probably in the process you'll discover how many great options you've missed out on because you've become fixated on one alternative.

Method 3 - Get as much information as possible

The authors, Chip, and Dean Heath are surprised that it is common practice for many people to read reviews before buying electronics, booking hotels, or choosing hairdressers. But at the same time, when it comes to choosing a job or university, fewer people use this wonderful practice, which helps to get a lot of valuable information.

Before making a decision about employment in a particular company, you can study the reviews of people who worked in it. This is better than relying only on the information provided to you by HR and the future boss.

The Heath brothers suggest asking one question at the interview for this.

“Who worked in the position before me? What is his name and how can I contact him?

There is nothing wrong with trying to get firsthand information. When I learned about this practice, I was surprised that, despite the obvious benefits of this approach, it never occurred to me to use it during my job search!

You may not always be given the contacts of these people. In this case, it will help you get information practice of leading questions.

This practice is good because it allows you to get information from someone who is reluctant to share it.

At the interview:

Instead of asking what prospects and conditions you offer (you may be promised brilliant prospects and good conditions work), ask more direct questions:

“How many people have left this position in the last three years? Why did this happen? Where are they now?"
Asking this question will help you get more reliable information about your future work.

In the shop:

One study found that when sales consultants, motivated to sell as many products as possible, were asked the question, "Tell me something about this iPod," only 8% of them reported problems with it. But when they had to answer the question: “What is his problem?” 90% of all managers honestly reported the shortcomings of this model.

Method 4 - Get rid of momentary emotions

As I wrote above, instant emotions can greatly interfere with decision making. They make you lose sight of something important and focus on small things that later turn out to be insignificant.

Many of us face the dire results of impulsive and unconscious choices, realizing that at the time of making the decision, we were blinded by our emotions and didn't see the full picture.

This may concern an early marriage or an impulsive divorce, expensive purchases or employment. How to avoid the influence of these emotions? There are several ways.

The first way to get rid of emotions - 10/10/10

This method allows you to go beyond the narrow perspective that instantaneous impulses set. It consists in asking yourself three questions before making a decision:

• How will I feel about this decision in 10 minutes?
• And after 10 months?
• What will happen in 10 years?

For example, you fell in love with another man and want to leave your children and leave your husband. If you make this decision, what will you think of it in 10 minutes? Probably, the euphoria of falling in love and a new life will rage in you! Of course, you will not regret your decision.

But after 10 months, passion and love will subside (it always happens), and perhaps when the veil of euphoria that has covered your eyes disappears, you will see the shortcomings of the new partner. At the same time, a bitter feeling of loss of something dear will begin to manifest. You may find that what you used to take for granted was actually a benefit of your previous relationship. And this is no longer in your new relationship.

It is very difficult to predict what will happen in 10 years. But perhaps, after the ardor of falling in love passes, you will realize that you have come to the same thing that you were running from.

Of course, I'm not saying that this will be the case for everyone. For many relationships best solution there will be a divorce. But, nevertheless, I am sure that a lot of divorces happen impulsively and thoughtlessly. And it is better to weigh everything carefully and distance yourself from the delusion of euphoria in anticipation of change.

The second way to get rid of emotions - Breathe

Before doing any important choice Give yourself a little time out. Take 10 calm full and slow inhalations and exhalations of equal duration. For example, 6 slow counts of inhalation - 6 slow counts of exhalation. And so 10 cycles.

This will calm you well and cool the ardor. Well, do you still want to order this expensive trinket you don’t need, just because you saw the same one from a colleague?

This method can be combined with the previous one. Breathe first and then apply 10/10/10.

The third way to get rid of emotions - "Ideal me"

I came up with this method when I could not make one decision. And he helped me a lot (I wrote about him in more detail in the article ""). Think about what your "ideal self" would do or be. ideal scenario development of events under existing restrictions. For example, you are thinking whether to go out drinking today or stay at home with your wife and children. Many factors in the decision will compete with each other: a sense of duty and a momentary desire to drink, caring for children and health with the need to have fun.

What to do? Think about what would be ideal. Just stay realistic. I understand that ideally, you would like to split in two, so that one part of you stays at home and the other part is at the party, while alcohol would not bring her any harm and hangover the next day. But that doesn't happen. Given the restrictions, the ideal option would be to stay at home, because last week you promised yourself to drink less. You realize that your wife rarely sees you and if you don't go to the party you will feel better the next day.

No need to think about what you want more. Because, Just because you want something doesn't mean you need it. Desires are fickle and fleeting. Now you want one. But tomorrow you may regret indulging your instant desire. Consider which option would be correct. What would an ideal husband do?

The fourth way to get rid of emotions - What would you advise a friend?

Imagine that you want to change your job to a more comfortable and highly paid one, but you are afraid of change, you are afraid of being disappointed, you don’t want to let your colleagues down, you are worried about what your boss will think of you in connection with your departure. Because of this, you can't make up your mind about it.

But what if this choice is not in front of you, but in front of your friend. What would you advise him? Surely, if he shared with you fears at the expense of disappointments and the opinion of the boss, you would answer him: “Come on, you think about all sorts of nonsense! Do what's best for you."

Surely many of you have noticed that you can give good and reasonable advice to your friends in solving some situations, but at the same time, you yourself behave unreasonably in similar situations. Why? Because when we think about another person's decision, we only look at the essentials. But when it comes to ourselves, a bunch of little things immediately pop up, to which we attach exaggerated importance. Therefore, to get rid of the influence of these unimportant things on your decision, think about what advice you would give to your friend if he was in a similar situation.

The fifth way to get rid of emotions - just wait

Remember, the quick fix is ​​often bad decision because it can be taken under the influence of emotions. You don't have to listen to impulsive desires every time. In some cases, it makes sense to just wait and not make a spontaneous choice. Impulsive desires, on the one hand, are quite intense and can be difficult to cope with. On the other hand, they are fleeting and you just have to wait a while, and this desire will disappear. You will realize that what seemed to be an essential need a couple of hours ago, in fact, you do not need.

Personally, I like to let some decision “ripen” in my head, give it time, provided that I have nowhere to rush. It doesn't mean that I think about him all the time. I can do some business, and suddenly the decision will appear by itself. It even happens that I make a decision instantly, but I am in no hurry to implement it if it concerns important and long-term things.

In a few days, details may “surface” in my head that can change my choice. Or vice versa, I will understand that the first thought was right thought, only now, I will be sure of it.

The sixth way to get rid of emotions - stay focused

This method is suitable in situations where you need to take quick fixes while under psychological pressure for example in an interview.

As a poker lover, I know how important it is to stay focused so as not to give in to instant emotions. Poker is basically a game of decision making. I have noticed that when my mind wanders somewhere far away from the game between hands, I make foolish and emotional actions when it's my turn to bet. But if I am focused on the game, even when I am not in the hand, for example, just watching the opponents, this allows my mind to be alert, constantly monitor everything around me and myself, think only about the game and not let unnecessary thoughts and emotions into brain.

So, for example, during an interview, keep your attention on this process. Listen to everything they tell you. Do not let extraneous thoughts enter your head, such as: “what did they think of me?”, “Did I say too much?” Think about it later. But for now, be here and now. This will help you make the right choice.

Method 10 - When Not to Use All of These Methods

Looking at all these methods, it seems that decision making is very difficult process. In fact, these methods are designed to help you make choices, in which each alternative is determined by a set of advantages and disadvantages. But what if there are no flaws? What if you have nothing to lose if you choose one option?

Then forget about all these tips, act and see what happens.

For example, you saw a pretty girl on the street, you are alone and are just looking for a mate. Stop going over the pros and cons in your head. You have nothing to lose if you come up and get to know each other. This is an absolutely simple solution.

Such situations are an exception. The more you think about them and weigh the decisions, the more uncertainty and the chances of missing an opportunity grow. Therefore, where the choice does not cost you anything, think less and act!

Conclusion - A little about intuition

The methods I've been talking about are attempts to formalize decision making. Give clarity and clarity to this process. But I do not want to belittle the role of intuition.

These methods should not confuse you, instilling in you an illusory confidence that any decisions are amenable to reason and dry analysis. This is not true. Often the choice is characterized by the absence complete information and you have to come to terms with the fact that in many situations you cannot know with 100% certainty in advance which solution will be better. Sometimes you just need to choose something, and then it will be clear whether you made the right choice or not.

Therefore, you need to use intuition, instead of waiting until your methods give you an unambiguous prediction of the correctness of one or another alternative. But at the same time, one should not overestimate her role and rely too much on her “gut”. For this, there is a formalized approach, which is designed to balance your mind and feelings, logic and intuition. The right balance between these things is the art of decision making!

The question of choice will always be relevant for a person, regardless of his age, gender, nationality, education, etc. Life experience, of course, teaches, and over time it becomes easier to make decisions, but it does not at all give any guarantee that all decisions, without exception, will be correct and effective. Decision making is a skill that requires a lot of effort to master, as well as a fairly large amount of knowledge.

You can go here in different ways: either learn everything by trial and error, spending a lot of time and nerves on it, or look for an opportunity to get the required information in a structured and compact form, thereby saving their mental and temporary resources. We believe that you are on our site for a reason, and the presented Decision Making course was created to help you learn how to make decisions quickly and correctly.

From our course, you will not only learn that much of what is happening around is subject to specific rules and patterns, but also get acquainted with many practices and techniques, advice and recommendations that greatly facilitate human activities in everyday life, training and at work.

What is decision making and why is it important

We have to choose the strategy of our behavior in most life situations, and we always choose, even when it seems to us that we do not. But the decision-making skill is one of the many options that will affect the situation. in the best way. Simply put, there is a certain objective function, which helps to assess the "usefulness" of a particular situation. It can concern not only the person making the choice, but also his relatives, friends, colleagues, or in general the whole of humanity. And the ability to make decisions is the skill of choosing a scenario with maximum value target function. It is important to note that the choice is not always correct objectively - it is simply the best in the opinion of a particular person.

There are situations in which it is difficult to make a choice and make a decision. For example, the above objective function might produce same values, different variants can be equivalent, both scenarios can be equally valuable for a person. And if he cannot make a decision, he can be characterized as.

Another variant of difficulties with decision-making is expressed in the fact that the objective function is not set. In other words, a person simply does not know what he wants. This case is much more complicated and requires a more serious determination of the causes of the difficulties.

Based on the foregoing, the ability to make decisions is a whole set of skills:

• The skill of seeing the maximum number of possible solutions
• (objective function definitions) for each specific situation
• The skill of choosing one solution among all their many

It would not be superfluous to note that all these functions are for a person initially (while he is in childhood) are performed by adults. But the older he gets, the more choices he has to make himself. And it is generally accepted that upon reaching adulthood, a person is already able to make any decisions that determine his future life.

A person develops further, and is already learning to make decisions that concern not only him, but also other people. Those. he learns to make decisions for others, for example, at home or manage employees at work. This skill is also very important, but it is also more difficult, because. the number of choices expands, and the objective function includes personal interests and the interests of others.

If a person does not know how to make decisions, he will be torn between options, which leads to inconsistent actions and even letting the situation take its course. And here it is important to note that he does not decide to do nothing, choosing this strategy as optimal, but simply does not make any decision at all, remaining a passive observer.

But such passivity is acceptable only in rare cases - when the situation is positive and does not require intervention. When things get worse, whether it's a specific person or a group of people, changing it always requires action. Actions are a reasonable act, and behind each of them there is a decision taken to perform it. A person who is not able to make a decision is also incapable of taking actions to resolve negative situations.

All this suggests that the ability to make a decision is, first of all, the ability to act, resolve situations, solve problems and improve own life. And how much a person owns this skill can depend on his own life and professional results, as well as the results of other people. And here is the time to talk about professional solutions.

The Importance and Significance of Management Decisions

Conditions modern market are very tough and the competition is very high. In an environment where all companies and organizations have similar technologies, huge role in success, competitive confrontation and achievement of goals, highly effective, correct and rational decisions play, and at all levels of management.

Management decisions are defined as methods of purposeful influence on management objects based on analysis reliable information characterizing a specific management situation, as well as establishing the goal of the impact and ways to achieve this goal.

Decision-making from this position is one of the main, and sometimes even the most responsible functions performed by managers or departments of organizations and enterprises. The need to constantly make managerial decisions pervades literally all areas of activity of leaders and managers. For this reason, everyone who is somehow involved in management must understand the essence of the decision-making process. The effectiveness of the organization as a whole depends on how adequate and timely management decisions will be.

Speaking specifically about Russia, in our country for a very long time there were no attempts to professionally train management personnel to make decisions. This was greatly influenced by the presence of an administrative-command apparatus, in which everything serious decisions taken on the high level various departments and ministries. The lower levels were engaged only in execution.

But with the transition to a market economy, the responsibility for making management decisions increased significantly at all levels. Each decision made began to influence the position of organizations, and there are no higher authorities controlling this.

Today, when the economy is developing very intensively, leaders are increasingly faced with the need to look for new ways to solve problems, which is associated with great risks. Management decisions related to large quantity processes now differ in the complexity of their development and a high degree responsibility.

This determines the special importance among managers of different levels of the skill of developing, adopting and implementing highly effective management decisions, taking into account all prospects and risks. Actually, it is in once more indicates the relevance of the course offered to your attention.

Fundamentals of Decision Making

In this small section of the introduction, despite its theoretical and introductory orientation, we still want to offer a few useful advice, based on which you can now rethink something and increase the effectiveness of your decisions. The information provided will teach you how to do more right choices in education, work, business, family and friendships, and in any other area of ​​life.

Get rid of frames

When thinking gives you only two options: "Yes" or "No", you are trapped in the framework. Choosing between them, you get stuck in the boundaries of just one alternative and ignore the rest. Instead, you need to look for a solution in another plane, despite the desire and instinctive desire to keep everything simple and avoid diversity.

In addition, people often try to find an option between two extremes, despite the possibility of finding a compromise or the simultaneous implementation of both options without having to make a choice. Situations in which several options are available at the same time, although not often, but occur.

Never be in a hurry to make a decision. Much better to try to see maximum amount options. This will allow you to better orient yourself and protect yourself from the influence of emotions, which is not always useful.

There is no need to be overly attached to the goal that thinking initially sets for itself. From this, the ability to make decisions becomes inert, and we see only what confirms the decision, and what contradicts it remains unnoticed.

The obvious choice is not always the best one, and there may be better decisions behind it. It is dangerous to stick to one solution, and to expand the choice, a comparative analysis of other paths should be carried out.

Gather Information

Before making any decision, it is necessary to gather on the actual problem as much as possible more information. It can be obtained from other people, from the Internet or books, from some other third-party sources.

A large amount of information will expand your vision of the problem, highlight the initially invisible details and subtleties of the issue, and make your understanding of the situation more objective. With a sufficient amount of information, it will be possible to evaluate all the pros and cons of the available options, and therefore make a choice in favor of the most suitable one.

Don't get emotional

As we said, emotions, especially momentary ones, often create serious obstacles in decision making. Due to emotions, you can lose sight of something important, focus on small things that often turn out to be insignificant.

Impulse and unconscious decisions lead to severe and not always reversible consequences, because in the process of such a choice a person is blinded by emotions and is not able to see the whole picture.

Set Priorities

For decisions to be correct, you must always. Many difficulties are due to the fact that a person makes decisions (or tries to do so) based on values ​​that do not correspond to basic priorities.

Think about it: why are you making a choice at all? How suitable are the available options for your parameters? Will you be comfortable after the decision is made? Only through understanding what you really need can you come to the right decision.

Among other things, decisions that run counter to priorities often cause internal contradictions and conflicts with oneself, and this largely depends mental health. Remember that making the right decisions, in addition to everything else, you also take care of your health. Priorities are always higher for those decisions that contribute to the achievement of your main goals.

Consider simple solutions

Earlier we said that instead of one alternative, you need to look for several, but there are some limitations here. For example, a wide range of options similar to each other is far from simplifying the decision. If the number of such options grows, the number of variables that serve as the basis for selection will also increase. And the more variables, the more difficult the choice.

In this case, you can use advice from the poker literature, which says that you need to create space for simple solutions. We must try to avoid the need to accept complex decisions. This requires not the first stages to determine the basic priorities in order to understand what is really important, and what can be overlooked.

By doing this, you, firstly, will save the lion's share of time for thinking and analyzing all the options, and, secondly, you will simplify the task of choosing for yourself, because. only the most optimal alternatives will be at your disposal.

Try

You can think about everything FOR and AGAINST indefinitely. But it's much more productive to just get started. Of course, this option is suitable for more to cases when it is possible to run a "test" version of the solution. This will help you find out what prospects await you after making a decision.

Keep in mind that even employees are hired for a trial period to understand how they will work, and only then do they make a decision on admission. This is the one test variant. If there is no opportunity for a test, then collect as much information as possible to make the most accurate predictions.

Set conditions

To make effective decisions, you can use a trick - to set certain conditions (best of all, it is unfavorable), under which specific actions.

When making a decision, you can fall into the trap of overconfidence, believing that everything will be fine. But when faced with problems, you can no longer take a step back, being strongly attached to your decision.

The conditions we are talking about will make it possible to avoid this. This means that you must set several variables under which your decision can be reversed. For example, you decide to invest in investment project, but at the same time they made a promise to themselves that if in a year the investments do not start to make a profit, you will exit the project - this is your condition.

This method helps to avoid difficult situations, allows you to see hidden risks and prepare for them, indicate ways of retreat and look at things more realistically. In addition, you will be less attached to your decision and get rid of excessive arrogance.

Accept criticism

Sometimes it helps to make the right decision to accept criticism from the outside. But it is important to understand what you need to be able to do, because it is not always constructive, especially when it is a projection of the fears and expectations of other people onto its object. In criticism, the psychological background is very important.

But still, the criticizing person should be perceived as a colleague who helps you get rid of self-confidence and points out the weaknesses of your decision. Criticism helps to look at the situation from a different angle and include this view in your point of view in order to get a more objective picture of what is happening.

Do none of the above

No matter how strange it may sound, there are situations when you can not follow any of the above tips. They help make decisions when options are driven by advantages and disadvantages. But there may not be any shortcomings, right.

If you understand that there is nothing to lose by choosing one of the options, put everything said above aside, make a decision and just watch what happens. One simple rule applies here: if the choice is worthless, you don’t need to think long - just act.

As you can see, learning to make the right decisions is not as difficult as it might seem. Naturally, there are very few people given advice to master this skill to the fullest, but for this our training “Decision Making” was created, which will also talk about other equally important things.

Decision Lessons

Our course includes five lessons that examine the individual components of the decision-making process. It has both theoretical and practical orientation, so the information you learn will be useful to anyone.

We advise you to go through the lessons in the presented sequence, but at the same time we recommend referring to auxiliary materials: we will give links to some of them, and you will have to look for some on your own (including books, the list of which is presented below).

Consistent passage of the lessons will allow you to better understand the features of making everyday and managerial decisions and assimilate the information in the best way, while being able to immediately apply new knowledge in practice. But let's clarify a little what kind of knowledge it will be.

Decision-making, as it is easy to see, is directly related to the decision of the most different problems. But in order to competently solve problems, it is necessary to understand them, as well as to carry out diagnostics and comprehensive analysis. This can be called the basis of decision-making, and it is recommended to start mastering such a difficult skill from studying it.

In the first lesson, you will get acquainted with the concept of a problem and the types of problems, such as psychological, scientific, social, economic, managerial, environmental and other problems. You will also learn about the basics of diagnosing and analyzing problems and the methods used for this: histogram, control sheet, stratification, scatter plot, control chart, Pareto chart and Ishikawa chart.

Making decisions in general is much easier than making correct and reliable decisions. Decision making is a psychological process, which means that it does not always obey logic and common sense. Hence the difference in the decisions themselves and the many nuances in the process of their adoption. Rational decisions are rightfully considered the most effective, but their other types should not be discounted.

In the second lesson, you will learn about intuitive solutions and decisions based on judgments, but the main part of it will be devoted specifically to rational decisions and the process of their adoption, which consists of several stages: diagnostics, formulation of criteria and restrictions, identification of alternatives and their evaluation, final selection and implementation. In addition to this, we will cover four groups of decision-making approaches and the foundations of decision theory.

Not everyone can find the optimal way out of a difficult situation, and it is not always easy. Today, many of the most different methods and a technique for finding and developing effective solutions. And the task of everyone who is interested in increasing their personal effectiveness is to understand these methods and techniques, and select the appropriate ones for each specific case.

In the third lesson, we will talk about the most popular and in-demand methods and techniques for finding and developing effective solutions today. Among them brainstorm, synectics, Delphi method, ideological engineering, method focal objects, SWOT analysis, system analysis, Eisenhower matrix, Descartes square, Bush idea matrix and others.

Evaluating the effectiveness of decisions is just as important as making them, because thanks to this you can understand whether the actions were competent, whether it is possible to focus on them in the future, what help they can provide, etc. But everyday decisions and management decisions are evaluated according to different algorithms, and we will talk about them in the fourth lesson.

From it you will learn how decisions are evaluated in ordinary life and what are the basics for evaluating management decisions, as well as get acquainted with the methods of their evaluation: index, balance and graphical methods, the elimination method and the comparison method, functional-system analysis and economic-mathematical methods.

As you yourself understand, decision-making is closely intertwined with human psychology. This topic is also very important for a more accurate assimilation of the specifics. this issue. One of the most popular and relevant research in this area today is the research of the Israeli-American psychologist Daniel Kahneman, who was awarded, among other things, Nobel Prize for "application psychological methodology in economics especially in the study of judgment formation and decision-making under conditions of uncertainty.”

in the fifth and final lesson training we will talk about psychological characteristics decision-making from the position of Kahneman and his colleague Amos Tversky. In particular, we will talk about two systems of thinking (fast and slow thinking), the prerequisites for the emergence of Kahneman's theory and the conclusions that he made thanks to his numerous experiments.

How to take classes

Training "Decision Making" aims to introduce you to the theoretical and practical foundations of decision making. Therefore, your task will be to approach the study of theory as carefully as possible and project knowledge onto the plane as quickly as possible. practical application.

1-2 days is enough to study each lesson, after which you can spend 1-2 days in real-life situations and studying auxiliary materials. Actually, practice should be present in your life all the time, because it will depend on it how quickly you master a new skill, and what results you can achieve.

Decision Making Books

Books we have selected for you additional materials, are not just bestsellers that have earned popularity with readers around the world. In fact, this is a real storehouse of useful information about everything related to decision-making, both in everyday life and in professional and business life. The authors of these books are successful people who have managed to reach the limits of personal growth and productivity. Take advantage of the experience of these specialists, and serious results will not be long in coming.

Decision Making Books:

• "What will you choose?" Tal Ben Shahar
• "Why? Guidance for Finding Causes and Making Decisions. Samantha Kleinberg
• "Problem solving using the methods of special services." Morgan Jones
• "Jedi Techniques. How to raise your monkey, empty the inbox and conserve thought fuel. Maxim Dorofeev
• ". How to make the right decisions without doubt and stress. Guy Claxton
• Why are we wrong. Thinking traps in action. Joseph Hallinan
• “Microsolutions. A proven path to achieving big goals. Caroline Arnold
• "Territory of delusions. What mistakes are made smart people". Rolf Dobelli
• “Comprehension. The power of humanitarian thinking in the era of algorithms. Christian Madsbjerg
• “All the right decisions. A Guide to Creating Breakthrough Strategies. Konstantinos Markides

And to conclude this introduction, we want to give you some food for thought. We offer you a small selection of quotes famous people on the importance of decision making skills. Let them once again point out to you why you need to be able to do this, and what significance all this has in the life of each of us.

Celebrity Quotes About Decision Making

“Before you think about solving future problems, learn to cope with today's in the least time and with more efficient»

“We need to discuss often, decide once”

“With an open discussion, not only errors, but the most absurdities are easily eliminated”

“The weak hesitate before making a decision; strong - after "

“There are no problems, there are only unpleasant solutions”

"Any difficult task has a simple, easy to understand wrong decision»

"Recognizing a problem is half the battle in solving it"

“He who wants to succeed must ask the right preliminary questions”

"All problems are technical solution, just the most a big problem– choose the right solution and abandon those that entail other problems”

“Greatness is not in going to extremes, but in touching two extremes at the same time and filling the gap between them”

How to make a decision when in doubt? This is a very important question. After all, our whole life is actually a string of decisions made on the simplest and most complex issues. And it depends on each previous decision what subsequent new questions life will put before us and what opportunities will open up before us. It is strange that the school devoted so much time to trigonometry, but did not give any instructions on such an important issue ...

I have several faithful assistants - proven methods that have helped me out many times and helped me make the right decision. Some of the techniques I learned in training personal growth, some - from the works of great philosophers, and some suggested to me ... my grandmother.

Sometimes it gets a little scary how even the simplest decision can change our destiny. Here is an example from life:

The girl was invited to a party in the middle of the week. She thought to go or not to go. Tired after work. Plus there's an important presentation tomorrow morning. Yet I decided to go. And as a result, she met her love. She got married and gave birth to her beloved children. She found her happiness and often wonders what her fate would have been if she had not gone to that party.

So from each of our decisions, even the smallest, depends on what will be the continuation of the scenario of our life.

In this context, I like the movie with Jim Carrey in leading role Always say yes" If you haven't seen this movie, I highly recommend you watch it. Few people know that comedy is based on the biographical book of British writer Danny Wallace, who answered only “YES” to all offers for 6 months. The writer even starred in the film in the "bachelorette party" scene in a cameo role.

So, back to our main question: How to make the right decision when in doubt?.

1st technique "Intuition".

All subsequent techniques are very important, but the role of intuition should not be underestimated in any case. You have noticed that most often we immediately know, we feel what to do. I, for example, I tell myself: “Listen. What is your stomach telling you? You need to listen to your inner voice. But if that doesn't help, I use a few simple and proven techniques.

Actually, this folk wisdom, which is the quintessence of the experience of many previous generations our ancestors. For thousands of years they have noticed certain causes and effects. And this knowledge was passed on from generation to generation. So, my grandmother told me, if in doubt, you don’t know what decision to make, ask for advice from the 2 closest people. Grandmother said that through them the Angels tell you the best solution for you.

This method can be called to some extent following from the previous method: if your Angel cannot “get through” with the right decision to you through intuition, then he passes it on through the people closest to you.

3rd technique "Descartes square for decision making".

The essence of this simple technique is that the problem or question must be considered from 4 different parties. After all, we often get hung up on one question: what will happen if THIS HAPPENS? Or what will I get if I DO THIS? But you need to ask yourself not 1, but 4 questions:

• What will, if this will happen? (pros of this).
• What will, if this NOT will happen ? (pros of not getting it).
• What Will not, if this will happen? (cons of this).
• What Will not, if this will NOT happen? (cons of not getting it).

To make it clearer, you can ask questions a little differently:

4th technique "Expansion of choice".

This is a very important technique. Often we get hung up on only one choice, “YES or NO”, “Do or Don’t”, and in our stubbornness we forget to consider all other options. For example, to buy this particular car on credit or not. If not, then continue to ride the subway. Due to the fact that we fixate only on the option "YES or NO", we forget about other options. For example, an alternative to taking the subway might be to buy an inexpensive car. And no longer on credit.

5th technique Jose Silva "Glass of water".

This is an amazing, effective, working technique. Its author is José Silva, who gained worldwide fame for the Silva Method he developed.- complex psychological exercises. This is how you should do the exercise. Before going to bed, take a glass of water with clean, not boiled water with both hands (you can take mineral water), close your eyes and formulate a question that needs to be addressed. Then drink about half of the water in small sips, repeating to yourself approximately the following words: "This is all I need to do in order to find the right solution." Open your eyes, put a glass with the remaining water near the bed and go to bed. In the morning, drink water and thank you for the right decision. The decision may clearly "come" immediately in the morning after waking up, or it may dawn in the middle of the day. The decision will come like a flash and it will become completely incomprehensible, how could one doubt it. Here it is, the correct solution.

Technique 6: Stick to Your Basic Priorities

The technique is based on the ideas of philosophers Ancient Greece. "Ataraxia" is equanimity, calmness. It is achieved when a person correctly distributes the system of values. After all, most often a person is restless and suffers from the fact that he does not get what he wants.

The key to realizing happiness is very simple: you need to enjoy what you have and not desire what you cannot have! (Aldous Huxley)

The wise Greeks distributed the IMPORTANCE of values ​​and their basic priorities as follows:

• Natural and natural values like, water and food.
• Values ​​are natural, but not quite natural dictated by the sociality of all people, for example, the value of having higher education and other similar stereotypical values. Most of these values ​​can be liberated.
• Values ​​are not natural and not natural. This is fame, success, servility, wealth. This is the opinion of others, condemnation from the outside. Or, conversely, excessive praise. With these values ​​in general, you can easily say goodbye!

So, when you want to get something when making a decision, analyze according to the above classification whether you really need it or these are not natural and not natural values ​​imposed on you by the stereotypes of society. Do not think about what others will think, but at the same time be sure that your decision will not harm anyone.

7th technique "Wait".

When making important and long-term solutions it is important to get rid of emotions. For example, in relationships with loved ones or if you want to change jobs, but are afraid of change.

Sometimes, to make the right decision, you just need to wait. You know that impulsive desires are often difficult to deal with. At the same time, if you wait a little, the desire may disappear on its own. And what seemed to be the first necessity yesterday, today seems completely unnecessary. No wonder they say: "That thought needs to be put to rest."

To get rid of emotions, you can use the exercise called "10/10/10". We need to answer the question “How will I feel about this in 10 hours / 10 months / 10 years?”.

Summary.

You got the answer to the question how to make a decision when in doubt? And now you have to make your choice. When making a decision, it is important:

• turn off emotions
• listen to intuition;
• ask for advice from the 2 closest people;
• consider other options, expand the choice;
• evaluate all the PROs and CONS on the issues of the Descartes Square;
• evaluate whether the decision is inconsistent with your basic principles;
• if possible, postpone the decision, wait, "sleep with this thought" using the "Glass of Water" technique.

Under all other circumstances, always be confident in yourself and in your dreamdon't give up, be optimistic. Do not think about what others will think, but at the same time, your decision will be correct only when, after making it, you will have peace of mind and you will be sure that you do not harm anyone and do not go against your principles.

Do not be afraid, take your decision, even if it turns out to be wrong, because "No one stumbles while lying in bed" (Japanese wisdom)!

I wish you inspiration and a lot of strength for all your plans and decisions!

4 227 0 Hello! In this article, we will tell you how to make the right decision when in doubt.

Every day we make several decisions a day, from choosing a menu for breakfast to social circle. Most of our decisions are harmless and cannot radically change our lives, but there are also those on which our entire life depends. future life fully. AT difficult situations we often begin to doubt ourselves and the correctness of our decision, rush between several options and lose a lot of time and energy instead of taking action.

How to make the right decision in life

Making decisions - real science. However, there is nothing supernatural in it, every person can quickly and correctly learn how to make decisions. It is enough to have the courage to take responsibility for your life in own hands and adhere to several rules and methods.

There are several ways to make decisions:

• heuristic(based on feelings and intuition)
• algorithm(based on informed decisions, study of information and analysis).

Ideally, between rational thinking and intuition should be harmony.

In addition, the manner of solving problems largely depends on the type of personality and temperament. So, extroverts prefer not to think for a long time, but immediately begin to act, while introverts analyze a lot and can “hang” for a long time before making a decision. Both of these strategies can become a failure: the extrovert will eventually mess things up, and the introvert will remain sitting in the problem and waiting for it to be solved by itself.

Basic decision rules

There are some rules to follow when in doubt when making a decision.

1. Remember your life priorities and stick to them strictly. Think about what is really important to you and why you work, study, etc. Often values ​​and priorities are artificially replaced by society.
   For example, the principle of "money for the sake of money" becomes fashionable. When applying for a job, think about what you really value and why are you doing it? If you really value your family and communication with children, a highly paid job with constant processing may simply not suit you. By focusing on the essentials, making decisions becomes much easier.
2. Try it if possible. You can think endlessly about what would happen if you went and did something, or you can just try and then make a decision.
   For example If you dream of becoming a famous graphic designer, apply for an internship with an advertising agency. Looking at the dream job from the inside, making a decision will be much easier.
3. Limit the number of options. You should have a choice, but remember that the abundance of options does not help, but, on the contrary, makes it difficult to make a decision.
4. Come up with an algorithm of action if a certain situation occurs.
   For example, if you started your own business, but after a year it did not start to generate income, you stop investing in a loss-making enterprise. Such “backup” algorithms allow you to calculate the risks and insure yourself in case of an unfavorable course of the situation.
5. Seek advice from loved ones and more experienced people. It is important to be able to process these tips. Of course, the opinion from the outside and the information received are very important. However, do not forget that sometimes people give advice, projecting their own fears and failures onto your life. Be careful and don't follow other people's opinions.
6. State the problem several times. Seeking advice is useful not so much to hear advice as to talk through the situation. When we repeat our question several times, new unexpected thoughts and ideas come to us already at the moment of pronunciation.
7. Stop thinking and analyzing and just act. Sometimes we have nothing to lose in a given situation, so why waste your time and energy thinking? Wherever there are no casualties, act swiftly and decisively.
8. Postpone the decision until tomorrow. Sometimes weighing and making a decision is much easier with a fresh mind. In addition, sometimes it is useful to rely on your subconscious and ask yourself an exciting question at night. Perhaps the first thought that comes to mind immediately after waking up will turn out to be the right option.
9. Limit the time to make a decision. The law of forced efficiency comes into force.
10. Rely not only on your experience, but also on current changes in the situation.
11. Once you've made a decision, act now!

What should not be done?

1. Don't turn off your intuition. It is still worth listening to your body and "signs from above".
2. Don't delay making a decision and implementing it. Otherwise, you will remain sitting with the problem.
3. Never regret your decisions. Remember that it doesn't happen ideal option actions. Everything that happens to us happens for something and is already the most correct decision. Perhaps, having made a different decision, there would be much more problems?
4. Do not abuse advice and do not ask everyone in a row.
5. Don't shift responsibility for your life onto someone else.
6. Don't be led by your emotions.

Eliminate emotions

It is very important before making a decision to get rid of interfering emotions: fear, nervousness, excitement, etc. Such emotions make it difficult to concentrate on the main thing, constantly draw attention to minor details and do not allow you to adequately look at the situation.

Fear

In order to get rid of fear, you need to imagine very clearly worst case development of events. Of course, it will be greatly exaggerated, but playing a frightening moment in the imagination will allow you to touch own fear and prepare for possible problems on the way to the goal.

Breath

No matter how trite, getting rid of interfering excitement will help deep and slow abdominal breathing. Breathe deeply into your belly rib cage while practically not moving. Take 10 slow breaths in and out, slightly holding your breath for 5-7 slow counts.

Wait

Just wait. Momentary impulses and desires are not always worthy of an early implementation. Sometimes they pass as quickly as they appear in our head. It is better to wait until the wave of excitement and emotions subsides than to do something stupid.

Stay Focused

Try to be here and now as much as possible when making a decision. Stop being distracted by external factors and various little things. If necessary, retire and be alone. Dive headfirst into the problem and focus on it.

The 10/10/10 rule

To cool your ardor, sometimes it is enough to ask yourself three questions:

1. How will I feel about my decision in 10 minutes?
2. In 10 months?
3. After 10 years?

While doing this practice, try to be as honest with yourself as possible.

Remember this state when a friend turns to us for advice. We clearly see the situation and do not pay attention to various trifles. Try to look at your problem from the outside and give yourself adequate advice.

Ideal "I"

Choose from the proposed options ideal. Try not to think about what you want. Our desires are not always in our favor.

Decision-making methods

Mankind has come up with many ways to make the right decision throughout its existence. But before you start getting acquainted with these methods, you need to understand what the correct solution consists of:

1. Information. These are dry facts emotional coloring and information distortions.
2. Selectivity in information. Not all facts should be taken on faith or projected onto your life.
3. Concentration on the problem and its solution.
4. Experience. Mostly your personal, but the experience of loved ones is also very valuable.
5. Flexibility and ability to adapt to changing situations.
6. Adequate assessment of what is happening.
7. Consistency in decision making and subsequent actions.

Avoid limits and boundaries

People tend to choose between two extremes: "Yes" or "No". Buy a car on credit or not? Get divorced or not? Quit or not? We drive ourselves into the framework of a difficult choice, while the true answer to the question may be hidden in the middle or even lie in a different plane.

For example, someone wants to buy a car on credit, but doubts because he does not want to get into debt. Perhaps the question should simply be put differently and buy a cheaper car, rent an apartment closer to work, or even find a job near your current place of residence.

Try to think broader and avoid yes/no boxes.

Dream Diary

Imagine the goal in all colors and your future life when you get it. Answer the following questions:

• How will I feel?
• Why do I need it?
• Will I become more confident?
• What opportunities will open up for me?

Write down your fantasies in detail in your diary, answer questions, and reread your entries every day. At first, you will not believe what you are reading, but over time, your subconscious mind will take on a new picture.

In addition, a vivid representation of your own dreams and goals helps you make decisions. Most importantly, always remember why you wake up in the morning.

Expand Your Choice

Don't get hung up on the first option you see. Check out other alternative solutions as well. Suddenly it turns out that there are options much better and more profitable? However, you should not expand the choice to not limited quantity options. Remember that this will only make it harder to solve the problem.

disappearance

Imagine that the option you chose suddenly disappeared. What will you do in such a case?

This method allows you to get rid of attachment to one specific solution and get out of the dead end of thinking.

Search for information

Study thoroughly everything related to the problem and ways to solve it. Getting to know reviews on the Internet has become an ordinary ritual before purchasing a product or service. But for some reason, not everyone does the same when choosing a university or a new job.

Research the issue on the Internet and, if possible, communicate with those who worked or studied in this institution. This will already save you half the wrong choice.

In addition, you can ask questions directly at the interview. Do not specify what bonuses the company can offer and whether there are additional benefits for employees. Better ask who was in this position before, how many people left this position and why, where they are now and how you can contact them. The answers to these questions will already be enough to make an informed decision.

If it is difficult to make a decision, you can use the Descartes square method. To do this, draw a square on a piece of paper and divide it with two lines into four more squares. In the upper left box, write everything that you will get by making this decision, and in the right box, everything that you will get by not making it. In the lower squares, respectively, everything that you will not get if you make this decision, and everything that you will not get if you do not accept it.

After you finish writing all the pros and cons of this solution, it remains to calculate their ratio and number:

1. Subtract the number of minuses from the number of pluses in the upper right square.
2. Carry out the same operation with the left column of the square.
3. Make a decision.

Three question method

There is such a theory that before making a decision you need to ask yourself three times. The first time the answer will come on the basis of emotions, the second time - on the basis of logic, and the third answer will be the closest to the truth.

Try on different hats

You can also make a decision in a playful way. To do this, imagine that you have seven hats different colors and each of them can radically change the way you think:

• Red- makes you excitable and emotional;
• Lilac- allows you to always remain rational;
• Blue- includes intuition;
• Black- makes you see one negative and pass everything through the prism of a defeatist attitude;
• Pink- makes overly self-confident and incapable of self-criticism;
• orange- generates impossible projects and makes fantastic plans;
• White - gives wisdom.

Try on all the hats and try to bring out the middle one from the whole stream of thoughts and feelings.

We exclude uninteresting options

You can choose from multiple alternatives using the elimination method. Remove the most unattractive option from the existing ones. Then remove another one and another one. Continue eliminating unwanted options until one option remains.

lesser evil

Our choice is not always associated with pleasant things. Sometimes, no matter what we choose, the consequences will not be very pleasant. What to do in this case? Accept the situation as it is and try to choose what will be the least unpleasant for you.

PMI method

The abbreviation PMI can be deciphered as Plus, Minus, Interesting . Make a table with three columns. In the first write down all the possible advantages from decision, in the second - cons, and in the third - just all the interesting remarks, nuances and comments that are neither pluses nor minuses.

This plate will help to visualize all the advantages and disadvantages of the decision made and once again weigh the pros and cons.

Practicing the Five Guiding Questions

Suppose you have already chosen a solution for your problem. How to check if you are moving in the right direction and whether it is worth changing it? The five questions method will help you with this:

1. Do I want this (become someone / do something / have something)? If the answer is yes, keep asking questions.
2. If I do this (become someone / do something / acquire something), will I remain in harmony with myself, the world, the Universe and God (for believers)? If yes, then we continue.
3. If I do this, will it bring me closer to my dream? Yes? We continue.
4. If I do this, will it violate anyone's rights? If not, then you can ask yourself the last question.
5. If I do this, will it be better for me or for someone else?

If you come up to last question and the answer is yes, you can safely assume that you are on the right track.

Algorithm for independent decision making

In order to learn how to make decisions on your own, take a piece of paper and a pen.

1. Write on a piece of paper what your problem is.
2. List the reasons why it needs to be addressed.
3. Describe in detail the desired outcome of events.
4. Write everything possible options problem solving and actions to be taken.
5. Analyze your responses, match them to current opportunities, and take action.

How to make a job decision?

When you are about to leave your job or choosing from several vacancies, remember your life priorities and values. If your family is at the head of everything, it is wrong to choose a job with irregular working hours and constant delays at work, even if you get good pay for it.

It will be good in this case seek help from a friend. After all, real risks and imaginary fears are always better seen from the outside. If you have no one to ask, try giving yourself advice. Try to turn off your emotions, because a job change can change your life for the better or for the worse.

How to decide on a divorce?

If a family life gave a crack and everything is bad, sometimes thoughts of divorce may flash. Do not rush to chop off the shoulder. Wait until the emotions calm down and clarity appears in the head. Perhaps it would be useful to live a little apart with your spouse.

Do not rush to seek advice from loved ones. If you then change your mind and make peace with your husband or wife, loved ones will condemn him / her, consider him / her an enemy and put spokes in the wheels. In addition, personal life is one of those areas of life where decisions should remain solely with you, so that later you will not bitterly regret that you blindly listened to someone's advice.

Remember to avoid narrow boundaries and radical solutions. Perhaps the question "To divorce or not?" put incorrectly and there are other solutions, for example: sort out relationships, work through grievances, talk heart to heart, improve relationships, or contact a family psychologist.

If you understand that you are much better apart than in an alliance with a partner, and you won’t be able to restore the relationship, it may be worth getting a divorce than fighting for a destructive relationship that no one needs.

How to help make a decision?

Every person is the master of his own life. Therefore, give others the opportunity to build their own lives, win and make mistakes. If you see that your close person doubts himself, give him the opportunity to make his own decision and do not meddle with unsolicited advice. Of course, if you are asked for advice, you can express your opinion and say what you would do, but no more. You have no right to make a decision for another person or take responsibility for his life.

What prevents us from making adequate decisions? (Dan Gilbert)