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How to get what you want

In this chapter:

Goal Achievement Technology

The four step model for success

Principles correct wording result

After overview In NLP we move on to one of its central themes: achieving goals. We all know people who never seem to achieve anything because they just don't have clear goals. On the other hand, almost all of us know people who daily, weekly, monthly set specific goals for themselves and achieve very tangible results. Their success is due to the ability to focus on well-defined achievable goals. As you look back at your life, you will probably notice that your successes and failures have been linked to the clarity and reach of your goals.

The choice and achievement of a goal (dreams, hopes, desires and specific tasks can be included among them) can be considered the most important components human experience. In addition to feeling satisfied success, right choice goals can literally change your life.

Apparently, many business people driven by ambition and dreams. The cherished goals serve as a measure of success for them. Different types of companies and organizations may have their own options for goals and desired results, for example, target management, corporate planning and cost control systems. However, company leaders usually achieve what they want through personal qualities, often despite the inertia of the organization they lead. It is individuals who turn clear goals into motivation, self-confidence, perseverance and other human qualities that steadily lead to success. There is nothing surprising in the fact that each organization usually owes its achievements to several key figures involved in its management.

Harry Alder's book Think Like a Leader gives examples similar approach and, in particular, the history of one young man, who barely graduated from school and worked as an apprentice, but "saw himself at the age of twenty-five" as the head of production. The young man told how carefully he cherished and developed this image and the corresponding sensations, what delight he experienced when he finally took the chair of the manager and experienced in reality what he had previously experienced so reliably in his imagination. Later, he again used this "system" and eventually became a member of the board of directors of a large corporation.

In other cases, ambition is connected with the future of the company, with what it will become, what feelings it will begin to evoke. Many famous businessmen not only created the largest corporations, but also brought to life own goals thanks to creative thinking and imagination, hard work and dedication to your dreams. The activity of the imagination undoubtedly brings much more benefit than overtime or developing willpower.

TECHNOLOGY FOR ACHIEVING GOALS

A person behaves in one way or another insofar as he believes that such behavior will benefit him. In other words, we tend to act for some particular reason or for some particular purpose, while having a fairly clear idea of ​​the result.

So, behavior has a goal, it must lead to one or another result, and we interpret our actions as aimed at a certain outcome. We ourselves attach importance to them, although sometimes this is done only after, “backdating”. In a certain sense, we always have a rationale for any of our actions.

Consciously and accurately formulating your own goals, that is, a “well-defined result”, increases the chances of turning your desires into appropriate actions on the path to success.

NLP is based on the innate tendency of a person to achieve goals, the desire to reveal in anything its useful meaning, its significance. Numerous facts testify to the fact that people manifest themselves as goal-achieving systems: goals systematically underlie everything we do. Such goals may be the desire to get something, do or learn something, just live as best as possible, or, for example, produce offspring. This does not mean that we undertake any trifles, only clearly realizing our goal. In fact, we usually act without a conscious intention: we just do something without thinking about where our actions will lead. But even in cases where we do not realize it, we still have a fundamental motivation, a goal.

Some athletes and businessmen who have reached the top of their careers have at one time worked hard to overcome social problems or make up for a lack of information - for example, their own lack of education. It was rare that they consciously associated these impulses with their extraordinary energy and purposefulness, but in any case, visions of the future were born in their thoughts, which turned out to be stronger than any business plan or conscious ambition. For example, a couple of decades ago, a younger generation of Russian and Eastern European gymnasts grew up united by an irresistible desire to succeed, which was supported by vivid dreams of excellence and world recognition. AT similar cases rich and unlimited imagination turns out to be more effective than any willpower and determination, which you can only dream of.

Many similar stories are rooted in childhood, in the events and circumstances of the first years of life, or are explained by the influence specific person. At times, they may seem like coincidence, luck or intuition, that is, something that is not in our control. However, NLP looks at achieving goals in a very different way than popular business courses, because it takes into account both the conscious and the subconscious.

Anyone can take advantage of these built-in goal-achievement mechanisms that conscientiously process whatever we intentionally or unconsciously put into them. In this lesson and the next, we will provide you with the tools you need to develop this natural ability.

A FOUR STAGE MODEL OF SUCCESS

Before we talk more about how to set goals correctly, we need to consider this issue in the context of the overall movement towards excellence. The ability to choose the right goals is a simple but very important part the so-called four-step model of success, which explains how we program our personal goals.

The model described below underlies any effective learning, especially development practical skills and skills. In addition, NLP relies for the most part on it.

1. Decide what you want (formulate and set a goal).

2. Do something.

3. See what happens.

4. If necessary, change the approach until you achieve what you want.

Throughout the course, we will discuss each stage in detail. This simple model applies to all our actions and achievements. Usually we simply do not think about this process, because on the way to the goal we need, the model is applied by itself. However, sometimes we make mistakes in choosing a goal. Conscious application of the four-step model will quickly show how it works and how effective it is in a wide variety of circumstances.

There is often a very thin line between success and failure. The reasons for failures are usually explained by the underestimation of the importance of one of the stages (for example, the vagueness of the goal or the inattention to the lessons of the past). The following lessons will help you learn what you need to work through each step thoroughly. This will bring you more sustainable results.

Below we will talk about the first stage: the ability to decide what we want, that is, set the right goals for ourselves. In NLP, this is called the ability to "state the result correctly."

PRINCIPLES OF THE CORRECT FORMULATION OF THE RESULT

Perhaps you have already come across that scheme of attributes of the right goal, which is known in the world of NLP as the abbreviation "SMART" ("Smart" (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Timely) - here lit.: "witty", "intelligent ". - Approx. ed.). The requirements that the target must meet are as follows:

Accuracy

Commensurability

Reachability

realism

Timeliness

However, this scheme cannot be called complete. For goal setting to be truly effective, one should turn to NLP, which describes the "principles of the correct formulation of the result."

Today we will talk about what are the criteria for checking the results and how to apply them in practice. The importance of such verification cannot be overestimated, since it serves as the basis for effective action and achievement of the intended. These principles require permanent application and should become a habit. Some of them overlap with elements of the TSDMS model, although they are expressed somewhat differently. We identify six main principles that should be applied when choosing goals:

In this chapter, we will talk about each of these principles, and then we will ask you a series of questions to practical assessment goals. They will help you achieve best chance success in achieving any result. In particular, questions will reveal those facets of your goals that you might not have even suspected, although they also determine whether success will be achieved. Don't try to find answers, just ask yourself questions. Some of them will be especially important. If the question helps to establish its purpose or makes you think about whether to make any changes to the intended, it has already completed its task. Having memorized these rules for evaluating the result, start applying them to any of your goals and objectives until it becomes a habit.

Master the principles without haste. To be honest, we are not too inclined to revise our life goals, but the benefits that such a reassessment can bring will undoubtedly pay off the time and effort spent. Many people have radically improved various parties life through this approach to choosing and achieving goals.

If you don't already have a starting list of your goals, desires, dreams, and hopes, it's best to make one before you continue reading. Applying the described principles to specific goals from real life you will understand them better. They will immediately benefit you, significantly increasing the chances of success. Make adjustments to the compiled list that appear after the application of the principles and the emergence of new questions. It may also happen that after the check recommended here, you simply discard one of your goals. Stubbornly striving for something that has almost no chance of success is simply pointless. Get ready for new goals. In addition, you will surely find that you are quite capable of fulfilling your cherished dream, having tried a completely different approach, which will be much more consistent with it.

1. Formulate your goal in affirmative terms.

Many, when asked about their goals and life guidelines talk about what they don't want, not what they want. So, first of all, try to understand what you really want, that is, formulate your desire in positive, affirmative terms.

The brain is designed in such a way that the formulation of the goal with the help of denials can lead to the same result, completely opposite to it. Parents often tell their children what not to do (“don’t run”, “don’t break”, “never do that”), after which the child most often does the opposite. This does not only apply to children. A baseball player who is yelled "don't miss" at the very moment the ball is arcing into the sky is likely to miss. His mind-body system will be captured by the thought of missing, not catching the ball. The thought-negation strives to replace and displace the thought-affirmation, and this is how it is realized.

What occupies our minds the most (consciously or unconsciously) is usually reflected in behavior and becomes a reality.

In order to "understand" what we do not want, we have to resort to a certain mental representation, which often includes an image of what we do not want. The mind begins to consider this imagery (especially if it is bright enough) as an “intended result”, which means that the mental “I don’t want” inevitably comes true.

Although we do not fully understand the neuromechanics associated with such a process, this side of our perception is of great interest to many. For example, if I ask you not to think about your left leg, you just have to think about it so that you don't forget what you shouldn't be thinking about.

Unfortunately when we are talking about achieving goals, a negative series that arises at an instinctive level can cause a lot of harm before we have time to avoid this negative one. A golfer who thinks about obstacles (a tree or a ditch) usually does what he has in mind. He gives the appropriate "mental orders", after which the ball successfully lands in a ditch or bounces off a tree. Voluntary victims of constant anxiety themselves invent nightmares, which then come true with the inevitability of prophecy and confirm the worst fears (“what did I say!”). These people consistently succeed in exactly what they did not want.

Decide what you really want

Of course, learning to think in affirmative terms is not easy. How not to think about what you do not want? There is only one answer: focus only on what you really want, imagine it, that is, reproduce it in a series of visual, auditory, etc. sensations.

Recent research on how the brain works can be of some help. For example, we seem to be able to hold only a very small number of thoughts in our heads at the same time. This means that if we fill all the free “space” with thoughts about the look, sound and feel of what we want, then we simply cannot think about the opposite. In fact, when we are captured by any deep ideas or bright, colorful pictures, it is very difficult for us to do something else at the same time. A person who is thinking is said to be "absorbed in his thoughts." This approach helps overcome the tendency to imagine negative outcomes.

With an affirmative goal setting, everything else is excluded - not only thoughts about what you do not want are excluded, but also arguments about how you can achieve what you want. Do everything in turn: focus first on the goal itself, and not on the means to achieve it.

It doesn't take much to learn to focus on what you want, although it will take some practice. Let's take a few more examples. Say, do you really want to lose a couple of pounds of excess weight? Stop being late and always arrive on time? Then express the same intention in other words, in the affirmative form. Most often, this is enough to simply change the word order. Language and syntax have as much influence on the mind as vivid mental images, and a simple device of paraphrasing can be of great benefit.

Questions for evaluating the goal

The following questions will help you clarify your goals and express them in a positive way. When working with a partner, ask "what do you want?" etc. Over time, you will develop the habit of thinking in the affirmative. This is one of the principles of the correct formulation of the result.

What do I want?

What do I want to change right now?

What result do I want to achieve?

What do I want to achieve?

What would I like to change?

What would I like to do differently?

Can I imagine the result?

What exactly is the result I imagine?

What would I like to do?

So, I want...

2. Relate your goal to context.

Now that you have completed the first stage, ask yourself: when, where and with whom do you want to achieve the intended result? To choose a clear goal, it is not enough to simply write it down on paper. Your goal forms a coherent inner reality, a multisensory (involving and activating all senses) blueprint of what you are about to create.

What you see, hear and feel in your imagination gives you an idea of real events in future

The intended result must "register" as something real. You will not be able to deceive the purposeful mind with hazy abstractions or vague images. In addition, vision, hearing and sensations are not manifested in complete emptiness but in a certain context. Where do events take place, at home or at work? Perhaps there are other people nearby. What they're saying? What does the building or room look like?

If you can't pinpoint the circumstances, ask yourself questions: what? who? where? when? Imagine the scene, "mentally play" it as you give the answers.

Questions for evaluating the goal

Ask yourself the questions below. They will transfer the intended result into the context of real life and help clarify it. In addition, they will help you feel something, get an idea of ​​\u200b\u200bwhat will happen when you achieve the goal, that is, strengthen motivation and perseverance. Finally, you will be able to internally tune in to a clear picture of where your goal achievement system should be directed.

Where will these changes lead me?

Under what circumstances will I use the result?

When would be the best time for this to happen? Where would be the best place for this to happen?

Do I want this in any relationship? Whether in any circumstances? Who would I like to be next to?

Under what circumstances will the intended result not benefit me?

Are there other circumstances in which the intended outcome would also be useful? Do I want it to manifest itself always, in all areas of my life?

How long would I like to use the result?

When might I want to use this result? Under what circumstances would it become inappropriate?

3. Express your goal accurately, in sensory terms.

What exactly will you see, hear and feel when you achieve the intended result? Trying to imagine it can bring real pleasure. What sensations do you particularly enjoy? Fast forward to the future in order to enjoy the implementation of your plans in advance. If you were thinking, for example, of purchasing a new carpet, what color would it be? If one of the details of the picture of what was conceived is the voice of another person, then how will it sound? What feelings will you have when you take the coveted chair? This visualization practice will prepare you for some exercises to be done later, but in the meantime, you can begin to get acquainted with the world of inner sensations, where your goals and experiences are born.

It may be difficult for you at first to see mental pictures, although with voices and sounds this is quite easy. The opposite is also possible: hearing sounds will be much more difficult than creating visual images.

However, over time, you will learn to enjoy all the facets of your richest world of inner sensations. Start with simple exercises: appearance and the voices of people you know well, memories of the times when you shared joy with them. You need to start with the simple, moving to the complex only gradually. Close your eyes and imagine that you are sitting in the next room and you see yourself from there. Think back to the past: the day happy holiday, in the company of a person of interest to you or to your favorite pastime. How clearly can you remember these scenes?

Soon you will not only be able to recreate memories, but also create perfectly distinct images of new experiences that will become a rich "raw material" for future results. These experiences form your personal, internal resources and the very foundation of the future.

Everything around us, which was created by man, originally arose in someone's thoughts.

Move on to those results that are easy to translate into the language of sensory experiences. Develop innate abilities your senses and engage in creativity, "creation" in the very literally. This process not only helps to clarify your goals and achieve their implementation - in fact, it “tunes” the neurosystem, revives those associative chains in the brain activity that will be required to achieve the result. A vivid, sensational representation of the intended outcome establishes a sequence of neural associations, which then “nudge” you from inner experiences to outer reality.

In any success story, one small thought becomes the impetus for new ideas. At times, thoughts seem to appear just out of nowhere, but in reality, a clearly formulated goal becomes a kind of channel where all associations are mysteriously directed. They not only strengthen the goal or destination, but also bring insights along the way, help you understand how to achieve what you want. And it all starts with clear, feeling-filled images of the intended outcome.

The seventh lesson will be devoted to how to develop the ability to create the desired results using the most powerful sensory characteristics.

Questions for evaluating the goal

Now you have to independently formulate those questions that stimulate your imagination. We will just give a few examples. The answers to these questions should be not only words, but also mental pictures, sounds, sensations. This approach will help you create the desired result.

What will I see, hear and feel when I reach my goal?

How do I know that I have already reached the goal? What will let me know about it?

4. Choose a goal that you can achieve on your own.

Define desired result and you need to move towards it on your own, not allowing yourself to shift the blame for your own failures on others or on circumstances. Of course, we often think that external world dictates one or another development of events. Sometimes we feel like pawns in some big game the outcome of which is not in our control. And yet those who achieve great success always take responsibility for their own role and do everything not to depend on others.

Don't preoccupy yourself with other people's goals. Any goal you want to achieve, make it your own, no matter who benefits from achieving it. Undoubtedly, you have worthy goals related to others (for example, with your children), or such goals, the achievement of which depends on others. However, you must first achieve control over the implementation of your own interests even if you start out caring for others. You don't have to try to make your children's wishes come true on your own, but you can set goals that will help your children achieve their goals. For example, you can help them learn, give them more time, provide them with funds to start their own business, and so on. You can understand your capabilities in comparison with these goals, figure out if you yourself are able to do something in relation to them and what exactly.

To reach your goal means to reach your goal

Of course, you can make the goals of others (boss or partner) your own, that is, adopt someone else's goals, but the result can be correctly formulated only if you have real opportunities to contribute to their achievement.

Sometimes you may find yourself in "borderline" situations. For example, a leader relies on his subordinates to help him achieve his many goals. We all understand that leaders (especially in large organizations) simply have to distribute the load of tasks. Does this mean that such goals do not meet the requirements in this case because we can no longer consider them personal? No, it doesn't. The goal can be considered yours as long as you are able to influence the result - even if indirectly, using your authority, knowledge and other resources to achieve it. Everything depends on the circumstances.

For example, if you are a junior member of a development team, then it is not up to you to determine project completion dates and quality criteria. In addition, you are not directly responsible for the final result. However, if you are the leader of such a group, then you must have sufficient authority, power and all the necessary skills that will allow you to achieve your result, although its achievement to a certain extent depends on the combined efforts of your subordinates.

Similarly, you can create a report that recommends specific changes to your organization's design, but you're not yet responsible for making them. The goal ends where responsibility and sphere of influence disappear, that is, at the moment when you are no longer able to personally participate in achieving this goal. You can write a book, but you can't tell how marketable it will be. However, this shouldn't be a problem. At times, you just need to amend your goal statement or limit it to a role that you can personally play. Ask yourself to what extent you can consider this success as yours. What part did you take in the design and achievement of this goal? You may have to narrow your horizons a bit when applying these criteria in practice. However, in the end, you can achieve much more if you limit yourself to reasonable goals that are within your control.

The same considerations apply to group work. Only you can judge what impact you have on the result of collective work. You don't have to do everything yourself, but you must contribute to the success. Ask yourself: can I find reasonable excuses for myself in case of failure, can I blame someone for this? If you answer in the affirmative, then it is better to think over the intended result again before proceeding to achieve it.

Manage what you can manage and don't worry about the rest

This means that you need to choose those goals, the achievement of which is available to "reasonable" control on your part (the degree of "reasonableness" is determined more intuitively than logically).

Questions for evaluating the goal

The following questions will help you, if answered correctly, to play leading role in the implementation of the intended, discard all kinds of excuses in case of failure and find the right motives.

What will I do to achieve this goal?

Have I been able to achieve something like this on my own before?

Is there any similarity between this case and the events of the past?

Can anything prevent me from reaching this goal? Will I be able to make all the necessary changes myself?

What does this result mean for me?

What will these changes bring me?

What will change after they happen?

How can I achieve my goal?

How exactly do I do it?

What opportunities should I foresee in order to achieve this goal?

Do I need someone else's help?

Does the achievement of the result depend only on me or on someone else?

What can I do to achieve the result? What will be my personal impact on the outcome? What can I achieve by achieving this result? To what extent do I manage the achievement of the result? What can I do right now?

5. Soberly evaluate the consequences of achieving your goal.

What will happen when you reach your goal? Will you lose something that you have now and want to keep? You must think about your goal on a grand scale, including its impact on other intended goals and the people you care about. For example, career success can worsen family relationships, leave less time for your favorite activities and leisure. Accordingly, success in the field of leisure may mean sacrificing career advancement, which, on the contrary, often requires additional work on the weekend. For example, if you want to quit smoking, don't fool yourself with promises of future pleasure and indirect social benefits. Soberly think about what you can lose when you start to achieve your goal.

Achieving a result means moving from one state to another. A state is something that includes your sense of self, the invisible struggle of different “for” and “against”, small advantages and disadvantages, as well as noticeable, external aspects: the “ecology” of changes (see the third lesson).

Before embarking on a new plan, consider all the positive (for you) aspects current state- otherwise, having reached the goal, you may feel cheated, still unsatisfied, even if, judging by outward signs have been successful. In addition, you may not achieve your intended goal, but still lose some of the benefits of the current state.

Even if you put all your willpower to a poorly thought out goal, the positive benefits of the current state that you are unconsciously trying to save will sooner or later turn into an obstacle in your path. Interfering with yourself, you may not even suspect why you can’t achieve a consciously set goal in any way.

Constantly look for a different, better, easier and faster way to achieve the desired result. If there is no other way that would allow you to maintain the benefits of the current state, reevaluate the costs of achieving your goal.

Rice. 2.1. State change.

Rate total population changes related to the achievement of the intended result

Even if the goal you choose does not affect your other tasks and intentions, it may not align well with the goals of others. If you cannot ignore this, you will fail. Ultimately, achieving a goal can come down to sacrificing something else, such as a relationship. This means that you must consider this possibility as well.

To climb the corporate ladder, leaving behind a string of offended and deceived colleagues, it is not necessary to become a superman. But what will you have to pay for this, especially in terms of long-term consequences? Life will pay back sooner or later. Any achieved result has unintended consequences. We cannot live in complete independence from others. So, will you interfere with the goals of other people, will you take them into account, achieving your own? It's up to you to decide. Well, if the new result is noticeably superior to everything positive sides your current state; otherwise, think carefully possible consequences before getting down to business. Moreover, it is better to do this in advance, and not when your and, possibly, someone else's fate cracks.

It's best to find some best option, in which you will keep what you had (not so much the line of behavior itself, but the benefits derived from it), and at the same time achieve new results and corresponding advantages. Such a double win usually has as its premise careful attention to the correct formulation of the result.

Questions for evaluating the goal

Efforts to answer these questions will help you understand how well and smoothly your mechanisms for achieving goals are functioning - at least in terms of self-preservation and survival. Not worth it, barely noticing alluring benefits new goal, frivolously part with what has already been achieved. As you make bright plans for the future, try to bring out and preserve the best of what you have achieved in the past.

Am I sure that I really want this?

What will I achieve once I achieve this result?

What do I really want?

How will my life change after achieving this goal?

How will this result fit into my current life?

What does this result mean for me?

Will this outcome be appropriate in all circumstances?

What impact will it have on my life?

What happens after I reach my goal?

What benefits will this bring me?

How will this affect my future life?

What will become impossible if I achieve this?

What happens if I don't reach my goal?

What will become impossible if I do not achieve my goal?

In what areas of my life will the result achieved bring benefits, and in what areas can it turn into a loss?

Why do I consider this result important?

6. Choose goals that deserve to be achieved.

The chosen goal should be worth the effort, valuable to you, even if it is of no interest from the point of view of other people. In order to apply this principle effectively enough, it is necessary to identify the beneficial consequences of the planned result.

At the same time, you do not just compare the result with the benefits that you will lose when you achieve the goal - you compare it with your personality and long-term life goals. Does it fit your personality and value system?

Refrain from hasty judgments. Give yourself time to imagine possible scenarios and think about them. Mentally evaluate the advantages and disadvantages of the intended result and the consequences of achieving it. When you first choose a goal, you will not immediately notice all its aspects. Of course, with such an assessment, you may well rely on intuition.

When choosing daily goals and moving towards them, we rarely think about them, but it is precisely such an assessment that forms a vital important aspect motivation. The subconscious helps you achieve your goals automatically (that is, literally leads to the intended results). When you choose positive goals, worth the effort, the internal "system" naturally encourages you to achieve them and overcome possible obstacles.

Questions for evaluating the goal

The following questions will help you identify any conflicts between your intended goal and your personality, beliefs, and values. You may not find the answers right away, but they may appear at the most unexpected moments.

Is this result worth the effort that will have to be spent to achieve it?

What are the consequences of achieving this goal? How will my life change?

Will this goal affect my character and my overall aspirations?

What will I gain by reaching it? What will happen after?

Will it lead to new goals? What can they be?

What is the reason I want this?

Correct statement of the result

You now have a checklist to help you choose and set goals. You may have to amend poorly set goals or drop some of them altogether, but those goals that pass the test will have a much better chance of being realized. Questions for assessing goals will deepen focus on results and strengthen motivation. If you faithfully and creatively follow these guidelines, they will greatly increase the likelihood of success in any endeavor. Don't forget the rest of the four-step success model as well.

Using the principles of the correct formulation of the result, you can turn vague goals and desires into negative form into affirmative, motivated and attractive results. For example, a vague and negative desire, “I don’t want to experience failure at work,” can be turned into a well-formulated result that you are quite capable of achieving. Here's what the check might look like in this case:

1. Affirmative form: At work, I want to feel confident and use all my abilities to the fullest.

2. Context: I especially want to achieve this at the Monday work meeting when I have to deal with NN and the accounting staff.

3. Touch Clarity: I will be confident. My voice will sound impressive, my speech will be firm and weighty.

4. Independence: I will try my best to fulfill all my duties.

5. A sober assessment of the consequences: What can make me feel like a failure? For example, am I ready for a new load of responsibilities after a promotion, which can lead to success at work? Will I lose the sympathy of colleagues who also lack self-confidence? Perhaps my friend will agree to take additional training with me in areas where we both feel insufficiently confident?

TODAY'S LESSON:

SUMMARY PRESUPOSITION

People create their own experiences

Compare this presupposition with the first: "The map is not the territory." Think about what "experience" is. What do you perceive when you daydream: an inner reality in your head, or an outer reality that is outside the realm of consciousness? How do you feel when you read an exciting novel: do you feel like you are just sitting at a book, or are you experiencing adventures in a fantasy world?

Experiences depend on what is happening in the head, and not in the surrounding material world. As we already know, our experiences can at best be considered only a filtered version of the material world, which we have almost no power to influence. However, it is in our power to think about what we want to think about. Because of this, we are able to create our own experiences, including everything we do and achieve.

Ask yourself: what gives rise to experiences in real life? What leads to the development of events? Can anything be done (pick up a cup, throw a ball, or build a cathedral) if it doesn't first appear in someone's head as an intention, an idea, or a thought?

Judging by the numerous testimonies, what actually happens is exactly what we think about most. If you like, we ourselves sow the seeds of our destiny. Today you learned about the importance of being able to internalize the intended results in sensory categories (in other words, make them as close to authentic experiences as possible). Remember this presupposition whenever you are subjectively (internally) creating your own objective (external) experiences.

HOMEWORK

Remember the presupposition given as a summary of this lesson. Think about it in the context of your life, your goals and desires. Can you decide right now what exactly will influence your achievements in the future? What happens if you "see yourself" doing something and at the same time feel motivated to do so? Will it lead to its realization? What choice will the next minute present you with? Which of these choices will change your life for the better? Think about the presupposition in this way, and it will bring you new ideas, solutions, and possibilities. This general principle will help you look to the future with greater optimism.

Make a list of all your goals - to begin with, without dividing them into well-defined tasks and those desires that you already feel, but have not yet thought through. Include in the list both really big goals and small desires that do not have great importance. You can add hopes and dreams to it. Go through the list, applying to each item in turn all the principles of a well-formulated result. If possible, show the list to a friend or colleague who may have a more objective view of you (some people seem to know us better than we do). Change or discard targets that do not meet all validation criteria. Other goals may come to mind while doing the exercise. Make appropriate notes and subject them to the same scrutiny. After completing the exercise, put the list aside to return to it some time later (for example, tomorrow). You may find that working with results like this has given you a new sense of purpose and meaning.

Try to imagine in colors one of your goals, imagining that it has already been achieved. Watch for anticipation, feelings that arise, and changes in your behavior. Watch how imagination helps you get an idea of ​​the pleasure you will experience when you reach your goal. The very process of achieving the goal also brings considerable satisfaction.

Look for manifestations of other "maps of reality" around you. Everything you have learned so far remains true, and new knowledge and experiences simply add to your experience. Remember what you learned yesterday and keep putting it into practice. You can always find new meaning even in conventional wisdom. Try as clearly as possible to identify the advantages in the ability to understand the thoughts of other people.

As clearly as possible, internalize the four-step model of success. Think of at least three of your (or someone else's) skills or merits that correspond to this model. Try to imagine what would happen if you missed any of the four stages of the model.

Think of a goal you would like to achieve. You should not immediately choose global dreams - it’s enough to start to limit yourself completely specific purpose, the achievement of which you are constantly postponing or simply cannot achieve. Try to choose a task in which success will manifest itself very quickly and bring immediate benefits. Then apply the four-step success model to your chosen goal. Be true to your goal and conscientiously complete each step. Feel well the satisfaction that brings the embodiment of the plan into reality.

From the book by D. Templeton in 90 minutes. World Laws life author Templeton John

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Techniques that you, perhaps, have unconsciously tried more than once on people or, perhaps, it is with the help of them that they manipulate you ...

These techniques, as psychologists have proven, really work. Many people want to understand and even manipulate people, but this is not given to everyone. In this case, the main thing is to feel a person. Few know how to influence people, even fewer people consciously use it.

Today we will talk about those techniques that you, perhaps, have unconsciously tried on people more than once or, perhaps, they manipulate you with the help of them...

Psychological tricks that work

Kindness Response or Benjamin Franklin Effect.

The story goes that Benjamin Franklin once wanted to win over a man who didn't love him. This man was looking for rare book, which Franklin just had. Benjamin found out about this and lent him this rare book, and when it was returned to the owner, Benjamin simply thanked him. As a result, they became best friends. As Franklin said: "The one to whom you once did a good thing is ready to return you kindness much greater than yours ..."

Ask for more than you want to receive.

This technique is very simple and is akin to bargaining in the market. Reception works almost always. You are obliged to overestimate your requirements if a person needs you. At first, you will most likely get rejected. Don't resist, give it time. In 95% of cases, the person interested in you will respond again and offer a little less than you requested, but at the same time, it is guaranteed to be higher than you originally pledged.

An obsessed desire to help.

Reception is very similar to the previous one, only here a slightly different effect. In order to awaken in a person an independent desire to help you, ask him once for something that he definitely won’t agree to. Having been refused, you have created for yourself a person who considers himself indebted to you. Most likely, he will turn to you more than once on his own with a desire to help, because inside he will have a feeling of guilt.

The name of a person is like a magical sound.

Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, says using someone's name in a conversation is unbelievable. strong argument. The name of a person is the most pleasant sound for him. Saying his name, in a positive context, you grow significantly in his eyes.

Flatter.

At first glance, the tactics are obvious, but there are some caveats. If your flattery doesn't seem sincere, it will do more harm than good. Researchers have found that people tend to seek cognitive balance by making sure their thoughts and feelings always align.

So if you flatter people with high self-esteem and the flattery sounds sincere, they'll like you because you'll validate them. own thoughts. But flattery towards people with low self-esteem can lead to negative feelings because your words contradict their opinion of themselves. Of course, this does not mean that such people should be humiliated - this way you will definitely not win their sympathy.

Reflect.

Reflection is also known as mimicry. Many people use this method naturally, without even thinking about what they are doing: they automatically copy someone else's behavior, speech patterns, and even gestures. But this technique can be used quite consciously.

People tend to treat better those who are like them. No less curious is the fact that if during a recent conversation someone “reflected” a person’s behavior, then this person will be more pleasant to communicate with other people for some time, even if they had nothing to do with that conversation. The reason, most likely, is the same as in the case of addressing by name - the behavior of the interlocutor confirms the very fact of the existence of the individual.

Ask a tired person.

When someone is tired, he is more receptive to all requests. The reason for this is that a tired person gets tired not only physically, but also mentally. If the boss is tired, then he can easily allow you to finish it tomorrow, but you must finish it without fail and with high quality. This will give you some respect in the eyes of the boss. After all, you kept your word.

Start asking for little things.

It's simple, ask a little at the beginning, and you will be given a credit of trust. According to this principle, people become dependent on social movements. For example, at first you are asked to support an action against deforestation, you support it, then again and again. A trifle, but you are already ready to give more. Are you ready to support the action against deforestation in distant Tanzania or join the Green Party and make contributions.

Don't correct people when they are wrong.

Carnegie also wrote in his famous book that you should not poke your nose at a person's obvious mistake, immediately after you find it.

If you want to change the point of view of a person, then approach this carefully. Even if you have a loser in front of you who blames anyone but himself for his troubles, you should not shout in your face. agree with him on this moment and gradually change his point of view. Otherwise, you risk becoming enemy number 1.

Repeat phrases and expressions of the right people.

This principle is similar to the "chameleon" principle, when a person repeats the person with whom he is interested in communicating with facial expressions and gestures. Words can caress the ear if they are like an echo. It is necessary to pronounce what a person has already said, what he heard inside his head.

Nod.

When people nod while listening to something, it usually means that they agree with the speaker. And it is natural for a person to assume that when someone nods when talking to him, this also means agreement. This is the same effect of mimicry. So nod throughout the conversation with a person - later this will help you convince the interlocutor that you are right.

Learn to listen.

Telling someone that he is wrong is not the most The best way position the person. The effect is likely to be the opposite. There is another way to express disagreement and not make an enemy. For example, listen to what your interlocutor says, and try to understand how he feels and why. Then you will find something in common in your seemingly opposite opinions and you can use this to explain your position. Express your consent first - so the person will be more attentive to your subsequent words. published

Have questions - ask them

P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness - together we change the world! © econet

Every person can achieve what you want wealth, success, happiness and whatever, if he starts to act. The problem is mainly in fear and uncertainty, since a person is afraid to take the first step, make a mistake and does not know specifically whether he needs this wish. In this article, psychologists have written in detail for you all the methods and specific proven methods that will 100% lead you to the realization of your desire. Use it too achieve what you want quite simple and fast.

Decide what you really want

The reason why 99% of people today are unhappy and not successful is that they cannot specifically understand what they want. In most cases, people are looking for excuses and how to make it so that they do nothing. But to be rich, happy and successful, you need not only to wish, but also to do. Therefore, write down on a piece of paper, right now, a list of all your desires, review it and decide which desire is the most important for you.

Make a plan of action

Actually, achieve what you want easy and simple, for this you need to make specific plan, according to which you will act daily in order to achieve the desired goal within a specific time frame. To begin with, write on a piece of paper what you need to realize your desire. After that, write down what you can do daily to make your wish come true.

Do at least something every day that will bring you closer to your desired desire.

The most important thing is not just to draw up a plan of action, it is important to do every day what is needed to realize what you want. Make a schedule or anything to regularly do at least something for desire.

Adjust to your desire

To quickly and easily achieve what you want, you need to adapt to your goal, live it and enjoy it. Do now what you would do, having achieved what you want, change yourself to and then the desire will be realized, since there will be no other way out for it.

Set a specific date for the implementation of the desired

From a psychological point of view, effective and fast implementation of the desired It is the date you set that affects. Decide for yourself how long it will take you to achieve your desire, and start acting. Given date should always and daily be visible to your eye, it will stimulate every person.

How to achieve what you want with the power of thought

In fact, scientists have long proved that our every thought is material, but on the condition that we constantly think about it. When a person concentrates from childhood, for example, on wealth and money, then sooner or later he will become rich. It will also be useful for you to start concentrating on your desire daily for 5-10 minutes. It is important to do this daily, otherwise your thoughts will dissipate and lose their meaning. The reason why people are unhappy and poor is that they scatter their thoughts on what they do not need, they have not learned to concentrate on one desire.

Meditate, calm down

There has not yet been a single person who had a nervous and angry character and reached desire. Mostly calm and balanced people achieve their desires precisely with the help of calmness, perseverance and action, as they realized that nothing can be achieved with nerves and strength, except to get poor health. Therefore, you need to calm your own and start thinking and acting towards given goal. Look into the future and imagine how you realized your dream, desire, goal, how happy you are from this, then this will significantly speed up the implementation process.

We admire those people who know how to set goals in life and achieve them. After all, almost everyone has their own goals or dreams that we strive for, but many can dream, but, unfortunately, not everyone is able to translate their desires into reality. But it's still fixable. This article will help you understand how to achieve what you want. So, let's begin.

goal setting

Any achievement of something desired begins with correct setting goals. People tend to dream too abstract, too general. For example: "do your business", "become a great writer", "improve your body", etc. But if you think exclusively in this way, while dreaming without doing anything, then success is simply unrealistic.

It is necessary to specify your desires as much as possible, to think them over reasonably from a practical point of view. "I want my own business" - what kind, what scale, how to organize it, taking into account the maximum profit and my knowledge and skills, what should I learn before opening a business? "I want to become a great writer" - in what genre, what secrets of writing should I learn and master, will my books be popular and interesting for the reader, and what should I do to achieve this? “I want to improve my body” - what exactly can be done for this: go to the solarium or buy and use creams to improve the skin, start training (which ones, when, with what frequency), etc. As you can see, there are many questions, but all of them are necessary to specify the desire. So your first step is to figure out exactly what exactly you want to achieve.

In addition, try to think sensibly and adequately evaluate yourself. If you are deprived by nature of the necessary data, it is better to give up this desire and realize yourself in another.

Thinking about the end result

You also need to decide on the end result you want to achieve. To do this, in psychology there is a popular method of visualizing the result. You need to accurately imagine yourself as the person who has already achieved what you want, visualize it in your imagination. Then you will understand exactly what kind of result you need to strive for.

Active actions

A rolling stone gathers no moss. Folk wisdom is right in this case too. As long as you sit on the couch and dream, you will not achieve anything. I wish you to achieve your goals - so I act for this!

If the achievement of the goal is associated with long-term and constant actions, then draw up a schedule for the necessary tasks, plan certain time for their implementation. For example, to learn foreign language or pump up beautiful body You need to exercise at least a few times a week. Choose the most comfortable time for yourself during the week to practice methodically. Develop a course of study and obey your plan despite laziness, the desire to relax and so on. Achieving the goal requires effort, so you should not be lazy.

If the goal is to get something that requires different effort from the person, make a list of sequential tasks and cross them off as you complete them. For example, if you want to buy a car, the tasks can be as follows: the first is to decide on the brand of car, the second is to pass on the rights, the third is to accumulate the necessary amount, the fourth is to buy a car, etc.

Also be prepared for possible difficulties. The higher and larger the task, the more it will require your attention and effort. You may have to deny yourself something, force yourself to live in a certain mode and limits, sacrifice something, maybe in the process of achieving what you want, you will have to change something in your life. This question should also be considered in advance before proceeding to achieve the desired. Are you ready for all this? If yes, then go ahead!

Summarizing

How to achieve what you want to the maximum? It is also important not only to act, but also to constantly monitor the result of your actions. Some small tasks, into which the main one is divided, can be difficult. It is better not to gallop through Europe or give up on your dreams, but to try to understand what exactly is not working and how to fix it. Learn a foreign language, but do not understand its individual points? Find a tutor who will explain this to you and help you understand. Can't save up for a car? think about extra income or about saving on something.

Summing up at each stage helps not only to understand what is not working and how it can be corrected, but also is able to show you your results. Seeing the first positive results, you will feel that you are working to achieve your desire, which means that you will have a surge of strength and an even greater desire to achieve what you want! You can also come up with mini-rewards for yourself after completing the next task, this also helps many.

Let's summarize. I want to achieve the goal, then:

• I have a clear vision of what I want to achieve.
• visualize final result.
• I create a plan to achieve my goal and stick to it.
• Ready to change your plan or life in order to achieve the goal.
• Competently and adequately analyze my achievements, summarize.

Effective visualization for every sane person
In the list of one of the best motivating films that can change lives for the better is the film The Secret, released in 2006. He quickly became popular. And no wonder: the authors of the film promise to reveal the secret that has been kept for thousands of years from "mere mortals". Those who comprehended it became successful and almost omnipotent. Having heard such promises from the creators of the film, few people will not watch it: everyone wants the fulfillment of their cherished desires.

So what do we learn from this movie? At the very beginning, the authors already share the main knowledge about the law of attraction. They claim that this law is the very secret that not many people know. “What we think about is what we attract,” they say.

According to the authors and participants of this film, thoughts create things. Therefore, if you just imagine that you live in abundance, then with the help of the law of attraction you receive all the benefits that you thought about all the time. At the same time, it is necessary to think about the positive, positive things. If you are negative in your thoughts, tension, you will attract trouble. Since the Universe doesn't care if you think good or bad for yourself, it simply materializes your thoughts.

Participants of the film share their stories about how they learned the secret and managed to change their lives for the better, make your dreams come true and become rich, successful and happy. After listening to them, I want to believe that in fact the power of thought can work wonders. However, skeptics and so-called realists believe that this secret, revealed by the authors, is not a guarantee of a successful future. People are trying to expose the filmmakers in lies by spreading about them various materials. But, nevertheless, there are those who already confirm that after watching the film and changing their way of thinking, their life has changed, they have become happy, successful and rich. Therefore, it is still worth trying to take the advice of the authors of the film. What if it helps?

So, the film says, what thoughts dominate, then it happens. People are like magnets that attract everything around them. Therefore, do not think about the bad. Hearing such advice, many are frightened: it turns out, having begun to analyze, listen to the course of their thoughts, they come to the conclusion that they have a lot of negative thoughts in their heads. But the authors reassure by saying that positive thoughts hundreds of times stronger than negative ones. You just need to learn to think positively. And gradually life will begin to change.

Everyone Human- the creator of your life, they say in the film. And he creates it with his thoughts. Therefore, what you complain about, you have attracted yourself.

Of course, it is difficult to constantly control your thoughts. As it goes through the mind great amount thoughts. And they are all divided into 2 types: good and bad. The authors argue that you just need to change negative emotions to positive ones, and your whole life will change. The universe will hear your thoughts. That eats thinking and feeling people create their lives.

Thoughts can be changed. And by changing your consciousness, you change your Universe.

The filmmakers tell the audience that our lives can be incredible, it should be if the knowledge they shared is applied. After all, the number of desires is not limited. The universe, like a genie, grants wishes. You just need to take a step - ask for what you want with the help of your thoughts and images. The authors advise you to write on a piece of paper everything that you want to receive. And the Universe will do everything for you.

It is very important to set yourself up for what do you want to get. You should feel the anticipation of joy, thinking about what you want. It is important to be in harmony with what you want. You must imagine that you already have what you want.

Do not doubt, postpone, you need to act, say the participants in the film "The Secret". You can draw what you want. At the same time, the speed of fulfillment of a desire depends on how much you are in harmony with the Universe.

Who a person is at the moment depends on their past thoughts, the film claims. Do not think about the past, about who you are now. Be grateful for what you have. The authors advise you to write on a piece of paper, for which you are grateful. At the same time, gratitude must be carried through your heart. The state of gratitude is a very important feeling.

An important role in approaching the goal is played, according to the creators of the film,. You need to be able to visualize the end result. At the same time, there must be faith in success. Believe that everything is possible. You have to trust the universe. And work on your thoughts, images should not become a routine. It should bring genuine joy. Enjoy the process for real.

How to create a positive atmosphere at home

Almost everyone wants and longs to have a favorable and positive atmosphere in their home. It is one thing to wish, but another thing is to take responsibility for it and take certain steps in this direction. Perhaps the whole secret is to start doing something, and not just passively expect what you want.

Just a few practical advice will help everyone create a pleasant atmosphere and improve relationships in their home:

• look after physical health. taking care of physical condition not only yourself, but also each member of your family, you can feel more proactive and happy. Enough sleep, good nutrition and basic physical exercise will naturally develop more power and energy to do some things around the house. On the contrary, lack of sleep, poor nutrition and a sedentary lifestyle will contribute to inactivity and apathy. In this state, all desire to do anything disappears.
• Positive attitude. One of the most important points in building a favorable atmosphere in the house is the ability to think positively. AT more, it refers to mental activity. It is important to analyze your thoughts every hour and every minute and learn to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Consider any situation with positive side and not allow negative thoughts creep into consciousness.
• Create cleanliness and comfort in the house. When there is cleanliness, order and a pleasant smell around, this will undoubtedly affect the mood and make you feel cheerful.

The house should be a place, not only of relaxation and rest, but also a place where a person receives a boost of energy and motivation to achieve their goals.

Set yourself lofty goals. For example, earn a hundred thousand dollars a year. Visualize the target. Draw 100 thousand dollars and the lifestyle of your dreams. And ideas will certainly come to you, with the help of which you can achieve your goal. And when ideas come, you need to believe in them and act.

Think about prosperity, tell yourself that money comes often and easily. Many people think that this is not so, that money is not easy. But this attitude towards money may change.

Life should be abundant in every way. Happiness is everything together. The totality of all good things. Not only money. Therefore, first of all, you need to strive for harmony and joy. draw yourself happy life. Learn to love yourself. So until you are in harmony with yourself, until you love yourself and are happy, others will feel bad for you. Ask yourself the question: “Am I treating myself the way I want to be treated?” Solve your problems, fill yourself until you are full so that you can give to others.

love yourself and the world will love you! Love yourself and you will love others!

Learn to focus on positive qualities loved ones. Write down these qualities. When you are satisfied with yourself, you will not want to change others and remake the world for yourself.

The authors of the film also argue that our body is a product of our thoughts. The mind plays an important role in healing. And all diseases arise due to internal imbalance, overstrain and stress. Illness is a signal that our body gives us. One of the participants in the film shares how she managed to recover from cancer. She watched comedies, laughed, did not let stress into her life, did not think about the disease, as if it was not there, and after 3 months the doctors were surprised by the result. The cancer was gone. But nevertheless, the authors of the film, and many sane people still advise to consult doctors for healing from serious illnesses.

The nature of the self-healing of the body, the film says. Illness cannot exist in a body saturated with positivity, positive emotions. You need to imagine your body is absolutely healthy. Because you become what you think about. And by resisting the negative, increase it. If you are against war, be for peace. You need to focus on what you want.

There is enough in the world for everyone. Besides, everyone wants something different. Choose what you need, let it in, make it your reality. If you don't like something, ignore it. Think only positive and desirable.

Everything in the universe is energy, the film claims. People are not limited physical body. People are an energy field, a field of potentialities. Everything is possible! Live and create life. All the possibilities are in your head!

"Self-Fulfilling" Desires
How do successful people think?

Turn dreams into goals!

Today, I would like to raise such a popular and at the same time "annoying" topic - "Do not dream, but set goals!"
How many times have I had to listen to the instructions of teachers and parents that dreaming is, of course, not harmful. But dreams may never come true, and if you wish decent life- Set goals and achieve them.
How many articles, books, opinions I have read on how to set goals correctly! Yes - yes, there is even technology correct spelling its purpose. And here I understand “GOD!”. You understand that today the world literally forces us to do EVERYTHING by the rules! People, let's stop listening to the thoughts of smart people and let's dream at the time when we ourselves want. And if necessary, then set yourself the “right” goals and achieve them?!