Today, very often on the pages of magazines or on the Internet you can find such a rather serious question How to increase a woman's self-esteem? Our magazine is no exception. It's really very important topic to which we would like to devote this article. We hope it will be useful to you!

As a rule, they are laid in childhood. What will be the self-esteem of a little girl, largely depends on the relationship in the family between the parents, as well as on the attitude of parents, teachers and friends to the child himself. How often she was praised, spoiled, inspired confidence in her own abilities, or vice versa offended, teased and not taken seriously. The foundations of the inherent self-esteem in the future also affect the temperament of an already established adult woman. For example, in melancholic people it is the lowest, and in choleric people it is the most unstable.

It also often happens that in a completely prosperous, adult person, self-esteem can plummet almost to the level of self-abasement. It happens as a result of betrayal. close friend or husband, as well as the loss of a favorite job.

Let's figure out how to increase a woman's self-esteem, being already in adulthood and what factors affect it?

How to increase a woman's self-esteem? 15 useful rules

1. Always be open to new things, every day try to spend the most interesting and informative for yourself. Say “YES” to new opportunities and hobbies! Discover unexpected facets in yourself, become alive and inquisitive like a child.

2. Do not be afraid of failures and mistakes. After all, only those who do nothing do not make mistakes. Also be afraid to ask for help or advice. You cannot know everything in the world and there is nothing to be ashamed of, on the contrary, by asking questions you demonstrate to your interlocutor your desire to grow and move on, in addition, you save own forces and time to unravel things you do not understand.

3. Watch your appearance. A woman in any life circumstances should be well-groomed and fit. Go in for sports, change your hairstyle, go to the nail salon and update your wardrobe. By investing money and time in your body, you will not only become more seductive, but also strengthen your spirit.

4. Pay due attention to your health. Remember that diseases are easier to prevent than long and tedious to treat. And besides, it is much harder for a sick person to raise his self-esteem.

5. Do not forget to praise yourself and indulge for any at least not big success. Collect your achievements, it is advisable to even write them down and periodically re-read them like a good book.

6. Allow your loved one to be less than perfect. Do not blame yourself for all the troubles of the world, leave this cross to masochists - you should not do everything right and please everyone without exception, even there are spots on the sun!

7. Treat yourself with respect, but don't get carried away with self-pity. - destructive! Remember that you are strong, and you need to feel sorry for the weak.

8. Give up dark thoughts and fears from bad habit. Almost all of our fears are unjustified and far-fetched, but they prevent us from accepting right decisions hinder the development of personality and even destroy it. Try to look at the world positively. Life is Beautiful and amazing! And if you believe in it, then you yourself will magically change.

9. Do not put yourself not achievable goals and don't compare yourself to others successful people. In addition to disappointment and envy, this will not give you anything. Better remember yourself yesterday and compare with today, as well as praise yourself for these changes.

10. Be open and grateful to anyone life experience even if it's negative for you. Instead of wailing “how could this happen to me”? Analyze what it taught you, what gave you, and why did you need this lesson?

11. If you feel bad, help someone who is even worse. Do good even in small things, even if no one appreciates or replaces it. Feed a hungry kitten, buy something for an old neighbor and chat with her about the weather. Donate your old clothes to a nursing home or to a family that needs them. Believe me, by doing good, you thereby not only give hope for best themes who needs it, but you also help yourself. After all, what you sow is what you reap, and goodness comes back.

12. If you're lonely, get yourself a cat or a dog. Loyal and Loving creature fill your home with joy and positivity.

13. Do not give in to difficulties. Firstly, any difficulties are solvable and not as terrible as we think. And secondly, overcoming them, you only become stronger, wiser and more experienced.

14. Get in the habit of finishing what you start, without putting it off indefinitely. Unfinished business destroys our self-esteem and lowers our own authority in our own eyes.

15. And most importantly, treat yourself with sincerity. Remember that you deserve the best! Appreciate yourself, pamper and cherish. Because you are worth it!

Welcome to the pages of our site!

In psychology, the term "self-esteem" refers to the ability to objectively evaluate oneself, one's individual qualities, abilities, opportunities, as well as their own position in society.

For a woman, adequate self-esteem is important not only for successful integration in society and correct definition their place in life, but also for building relationships with the opposite sex.

So all the same, how to increase a woman's self-esteem? The advice of a psychologist will help you understand yourself and put everything in its place.

Allocate adequate and inadequate degree of evaluation self.

In the first case, we are talking about optimal ratio between a man's aspirations and his achievements. So, in the presence of adequate assessments of one's own strengths and capabilities, a person manages to solve problems and tasks. different levels difficulties.

And at the same time, to some extent correspond to the ideas about a person, fixed in his permanent environment.

The indicators of adequacy are:

• the ability to set goals and achieve them
• the ability to realistically assess a certain situation and one's personal potential in it

Adequate self-esteem inherent in self-confident and successful people.

In the second case, we are talking about a deformed human psyche, when self-esteem does not allow a person to develop and achieve harmony in many areas of his life. Under the deformations of the psyche here we mean an overestimated or underestimated level of one's own assessment.

When overstatement personality traits such as:

• disproportionate idealization of one's own person
• exaggeration self-importance or forces
• the absence of any conclusions and conclusions from bad experience
• unreasonable arrogance towards others
• lack of ability to evaluate oneself critically, to see one's mistakes, to admit one's wrong

When understatement characteristic:

• indecision and fear to show their own abilities and abilities
• lack of faith in one's own strengths, abilities and abilities
• inability to make important decisions

Due to low self-esteem, it is difficult for a person to achieve success in business, to achieve recognition, there are too many missed opportunities.

Often it is she who generates a lot of complexes, leads to long and prolonged depression, nervous breakdowns, to feelings of worthlessness and uselessness, to endless disappointments, to total hatred of everything and everyone, etc.

Increase self-esteem- the process is laborious and lengthy. However, even this task can be solved if approached in a complex manner.

Increase your self-esteem, improve your life, achieve goals and increase your potential will help you "

Reasons for low self-esteem

Psychologists find many reasons for low self-esteem. But still, there are 3 large conditional groups in which its main factors are combined:

1. Mistakes in education(unloved children, too much parental criticism, life in dysfunctional families, etc.)

2.Complex relationships with the environment during the period of growth and development of the child (misunderstanding, resentment, criticism of teachers and parents, ridicule, etc.)

3. Persistent or systematic failures haunting a person throughout his life or a long period.

Features of female self-esteem

Unlike men, women's self-esteem is formed from several "elements": its external and internal parts.

In the first case, we are talking about the appearance of a woman, which depends not only on physiology and natural data, but also on the willingness and ability to care for women. own body, face, figure, health, for their clothes, hairstyle, as well as on behavior and habits.

Her other component, or inner element- the totality of all indicators leading to an adequate or inadequate assessment of one's own person.

Thus, a woman can increase her self-esteem, in most cases, only by working comprehensively on all the elements that form the ability to evaluate herself and her potential.

Ways to improve: from simple to complex

1. Work on appearance

One of the easiest and most affordable ways to improve own self-esteem - work on your appearance . As soon as a woman begins to like herself, in some incredible way she begins to like others and, especially, men.

Like men - a natural and normal female desire. Admired men's views, compliments and recognition, as if by magic, elevate women's self-esteem to its highest values.

2. Dealing with "internal cockroaches"

The complication of the task - work with internal "cockroaches". In this case, on your own or with the help of specialists, you will have to decide for yourself whole line important tasks.

Namely:

• say goodbye to the past. To unearth in the depths of your memory the root cause that was the basis for the formation of low self-esteem and get rid of it once and for all. It should be said that work in this vein is not simple and, perhaps, without experienced psychologist or a psychotherapist is indispensable. But if low self-esteem- the cause of all women's troubles and the woman is aware of this, then this is a direct road to a specialist.

• Stop comparing yourself to other people. No matter how the circumstances turn out, and no matter how life turns, there will always be someone who is better, more beautiful, richer, younger, more successful, more talented, happier, etc. There is nothing more stupid than comparing own life with the lives of strangers. It’s much better to learn to rejoice, albeit small, but in your successes.

• Learn to drive away negative thoughts and negative ideas. Just tune in positive tone and a change in thinking will radically allow you to look at life from a new perspective, find new opportunities for yourself and not miss a single chance again.

• Start striving to fulfill your dreams. Needless to say, how important having a dream is for motivation and how the achievement of goals affects self-esteem?

See also « Having learned how to dream correctly so that dreams come true, everyone can change their lives for the better!

How to increase self-esteem after breaking up with a man

A separate point is the fall of conceit after a painful separation from a beloved man. Many women from own practice it is known how painfully the fact of parting hits both self-esteem and self-esteem. Especially when the initiator of the gap is a man.

But also in this case you can cope with the problem and not fall into a long-term depression bordering on psychosis. Even if for this you have to turn to a specialist, whose help, by the way, is not the worst option. The advice of an experienced psychologist will allow you to quickly return to your usual track and move on through life, as they say, "with your head held high."

Well, is it possible to do something with your self-esteem without a psychologist? Yes, you certainly may!

A simple tip for difficult case: regardless of the reasons for parting, you must understand that after the man left you did not become worse, after the breakup of relations, your positive traits and qualities, your virtues did not suffer and remained with you.

And this means that there is no reason to lower the level of self-esteem, by and large. Moreover, new perspectives and opportunities are now opening up before you, which should become wonderful motive to improve your own rating.

For increase female self-esteem there are many ways: effective for some, they may be useless for others.

Self-esteem is a subtle and delicate thing that does not tolerate rough interference and pressure.

However, after working on days, you can achieve very good results. And this will significantly improve the quality of your life.

Good luck to you!

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In this article, we will consider the following questions:

1. 1. What is self-esteem?
2. 2. Why is having high self-esteem so important?
3. 3. Reasons for low self-esteem.

WHAT IS SELF-ASSESSMENT?

Self-esteem- this is your attitude towards yourself, that is, how you see yourself, what you think about yourself and who you consider yourself to be. All of these self-images are formed from a list of self-beliefs. This list contains both good qualities and bad ones. Self-esteem is not how you really are or how people around you see you. Self-esteem is what WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT YOURSELF. People don't always think of you the way you think they do. Your level of self-esteem is your SUBJECTIVE look at yourself. This quality is formed from the very beginning of your life and is done gradually and can be consciously or unconsciously changed.

In most cases, an unconscious change in self-esteem leads to its low level. Why? It's just that people are arranged in such a way that they notice only the bad in a person, they are always looking for flaws in him, and for some reason all the good is filtered out. Positive qualities are taken for granted. And since it focuses on everything bad more attention, of course, it takes root much better and faster in the subconscious, which accordingly affects the attitude towards oneself. carried out through thoughts and actions in different situations. The formation of high self-esteem is very important for a modern person. Without high self-esteem, a person is unlikely to achieve anything significant.

Self-esteem is the same the starting point from which it starts. If you don't love yourself, then how will others love you? High self-esteem is extremely important, because all your actions will directly depend on it. When the level of your self-esteem increases, then the level of your return in all areas of your life increases. High self-esteem leads to confident action and correct decisions. Low self-esteem leads to timidity, doubts and, as a result, to uncertainty at the moment of making a decision. I comment on this process point by point.

1. You yourself participate in the formation of your own self-esteem.
2. Thoughts and behavior are in line with your self-image.
3. The influence of self-esteem directly depends on how others perceive you.
4. Your self-esteem changes in a positive or negative side after understanding how other people perceive you.
5. We return to point 2.

FORMATION OF HIGH SELF-ESTIMATION DIRECTLY AFFECTS ALL YOUR ACTIONS, AND YOUR FURTHER LIFE WILL DEPEND ON YOUR ACTIONS.

As Henry Ford said: “If you think you can or cannot do it, you are right in both cases”.

REASONS FOR LOW SELF-ESTEEM

1. We are surrounded negative people and very often we are dealing with a negatively minded society.

There are far fewer successful people, but they were able to break through this wall of mediocrity. Why is it so difficult? All because it is necessary to get out of the usual ideas of the masses and trust yourself, and start your movement at the call of the soul. And it's not very easy. They lie in wait for you at every step, and in addition they indicate to you that you are not going where you need to go. Those people who cannot withstand such tension choose a simpler path - to merge with the crowd and forget about their own. Most of these people, society simply takes them away from them.

2. A person's abilities and capabilities, appearance and intellectual potential were repeatedly ridiculed or questioned by teachers, parents, friends and many other people when a good opportunity turned up.

No matter how badly or well you did the task, there will always be people who will criticize you. They will criticize either for what you have done or for what you have not done. the main objective any criticism is to increase the feeling of its importance. When you step forward, you leave a lot of people behind you, and then they try to put you down with words. Remember: the level of your self-esteem will determine the level of your success.

3. Giving too much importance to some event in which you failed.

4. Self-promotion

Self-promotion is small text, descriptive. This text should describe you and your qualities with the best side. Works very effectively in conjunction with reception number 1 - "mirror". You take a blank piece of paper and write:

“Ivan Ivanovich, meet Ivan Ivanovich, a respectable and influential businessman. He has business in 35 countries around the world. He is in the top 1% of the most influential and wealthy people from all over the world. True leader. Ivan has grandiose dreams, he is fluent in self-hypnosis techniques. He has a powerful faith in God, in his business and especially in himself. His love is inexhaustible. He loves his job. He loves difficulties, because he sincerely believes that what more difficulty meets him on the way, the greater the reward awaits him in the future. He dresses awesome, looks stunning. He has a very high self-esteem due to the fact that he knows perfectly well who he really is and what kind of business is in his hands. Every day his business is flourishing, and Ivan is becoming more and more perfect, more confident in himself, in God and in his goals. He can achieve absolutely any goals, because with God nothing is impossible. God leads him by the hand."

After you write the text, read it every day and preferably in front of a mirror.

On this article how to raise self-esteem came to an end. I wish you success in raising your self-esteem.

how to improve self esteem what is self esteem

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Many articles, magazines, books on psychology have been written on how to raise self-esteem and self-confidence. But still, many novice entrepreneurs (and not only) are concerned about this issue. Therefore, at the request of our website readers, we decided to write this detailed article about self-esteem without water and in fact. So let's go!

The old misconceptions that in order to be happy you need to:

• believe and obey your parents;
• dance around the fire and worship the gods;
• build communism;
• and so on and in the same spirit (underline as appropriate).

With development psychological science only one thing becomes clear - only man himself can make himself happy except, of course, for force majeure.

So, from this article you will learn:

1. What is self-esteem and what functions does it have, etc.;
2. How to love yourself and increase your self-esteem - advice from psychologists and experts;
3. How to become self-confident and satisfied with your life;
4. Reasons for low self-esteem, tests, videos, etc.

The article tells how to increase self-esteem, what ways to raise it exist, why people have low self-esteem, etc.

The correctness of self-assessment is a rather complicated thing. This is the one ship's waterline on the high seas, which should not nor rise above, nor go below. Before embarking on a long voyage, it is necessary to understand that without adequate self-esteem nothing will come of it. How does this happen?

The human subconscious builds itself based on many factors. from the first minutes of life.

In order to understand the mechanism of self-esteem formation, it is necessary to understand that:

• one is never alone- he is a herd animal and must be in society (sociopaths are a deviation, a disease);
• every word and deed of others in relation to the individual automatically influences it, forcing one way or another to evaluate oneself;
• for the most part people and builds an opinion about himself, perceiving himself "through the eyes of others", not having the opportunity and desire to analyze their actions on their own and give them a final assessment.

As a result, it turns out that self-esteem – this is combined information about all self-assessments of your personality or on the basis of another opinion, which forms your idea of ​​\u200b\u200btheir qualities and shortcomings.

This can also be stated in another way: self-esteem – this is the definition of one's place in the ranking of all people in the world, which is based on one's own and imposed priorities. It looks different for every person.

For example, a blonde who has not read the primer in her life may have high self-esteem Since her society gives her only positive information about her personality, her virtues match those that are in circulation among her surroundings and she looks the way her society requires her to. That is, it is surrounded on all sides positive and a small share negative she just doesn't notice/ignores.

On the other hand maybe yesterday's student engineer, who graduated from the university with an average, got a job and, out of fright, already made a couple of minor mistakes, which were treated quite loyally.

It will seem to him that, compared with more experienced colleagues, he is a nonentity, he will never succeed. Here, mom also says that he is a mediocre son, because he forgot to take out the trash in the morning, dad assures that instead of higher education you just had to go to the mine, because there "they pay normal money, and you don't need to think with a stupid head." To all this is added the standard appearance and the dream of the girls from the TV.

All this typical example low self-esteem that is shaped by the environment. The young man himself has nothing to do with it - rather, he simply moves with the flow that forms his environment.

Without changing anything in his life, he is unlikely to achieve anything in it.

If you do not pull yourself together, he will face such problems:

• failure at work due to constant nervous tension and self-flagellation from the series “I won’t succeed, others will do it better”;
• no growth in career ladder due to fear of responsibility, thoughts similar to “I can’t do it, it’s not for me, I’m not capable of it”;
• constant fear of losing a job, a feeling of fatigue, depression, possibly alcoholism, the desire to escape reality into an illusory comfortable world;
• the impossibility of adequate relationships with girls, since stiffness and complexes will manifest themselves here too, there will be thoughts from the series “she is too beautiful, I don’t earn so much, I’m ugly, I don’t deserve her.”

This is far from full list those trouble and life problems who are born from poor self-esteem, the impossibility of working with it.

At an older age, it may be problems with raising children, communicating with them. There may also be significant troubles with self-realization, the desire to open your own business and all in the same spirit.

The young man mentioned is just an example, everyone has a reason to think badly about themselves - no one is perfect. It is important to adequately assess your personality as a whole and build connections with the outside world from this.

It must also be understood that it is not only money and career.

A person with low self-esteem cannot initially be happy for the following reasons:

• constant fear;
• persistent nervous tension;
• periodic depression;
• aggravated stress when exposed to adverse factors;
• impossibility of self-realization;
• constant stiffness, up to physical movements;
• lack of self-righteousness;
• compliance outside world, weak character;
• inability to start something new;
• closed, shy speech;
• constant self-digging.

All these are signs that you do not have happy future, because no one will come and change your life by magic.

In order to look confidently into the future, you need to work on yourself and not be afraid to change. Without this, everything will remain in place, and dreams will turn into collapse.

Basic functions of self-assessment

Exists three main functions that make adequate self-assessment so necessary:

• Protective - solid self-esteem will allow you to be confident in what you think and do, it ensures the stability of your opinion about yourself, and hence an even emotional background, less exposure to stress;
• Regulatory - helps to make the most correct and timely choice regarding your personality;
• Developing - correct assessment his personality gives a strong impetus to its development.

The situation is considered ideal when a person absolutely independently evaluates his qualities and capabilities and adequately understands what he is good at and what he is bad at. From this he plans his life - what he will do, what he will study, and so on. Of course, such impossible .

FROM early childhood and until late old age, everything around is trying to influence us, our assessment of ourselves. At the very beginning, we are characterized parents, after peers and friends, then add to this teachers and professors, colleagues, chiefs and so on.

As a result, we do not even evaluate ourselves, but compare the opinion of others about ourselves with the ideals imposed by society. Where can we get to adequate self-esteem, some of the information received does not apply to reality at all!

But only by correctly evaluating your abilities, you can understand in which direction you need to develop and what you are like in general.

In this situation, bad any deviation. An inflated opinion of yourself will lead to many painful mistakes in life, although it is more rare. Much more common low self-esteem which destroys people's lives, does not allow to open up, to show the maximum of their capabilities. The neglected form of this problem leads to an inferiority complex, and hence the destruction of the personality.

Essentially, this one of the main reasons that a person cannot earn money. Not confident in himself, he rushes from corner to corner, afraid to take a step that is risky in his opinion or the thoughts of those around him, eventually despairs and continues to live from one meager salary to another.

Moreover, in such cases, one cannot open one’s own business, because the qualities necessary for this are: activity, readiness to risk and accept decisions are taken from true, adequate self-esteem.

Lack of self-confidence takes the energy of the individual, fetters his actions, which leads to a terrible state when a person is only able to think or dream about action, and not resolutely take up the realization of his desires.

2. How to love yourself and what will happen if this is not done 💋

love yourself does not mean become narcissistic. In fact, it has to do with self-esteem. Only the person who is able to evaluate himself, highlight all his advantages and disadvantages, can really honestly and fairly treat his personality.

How to learn to love yourself and increase self-esteem for a woman and a man

So, how to love yourself and increase self-esteem?

Having low self-esteem, you will only see everything negative in yourself, which of course will not lead to anything good.

Justified self-love based on your virtues and constant work above the shortcomings there is a guarantee that others will treat you well.

It's really hard to love someone who do not appreciate and does not respect myself. It's more of a pity than anything else. Being competitive in business or choosing a spouse or many other things is only possible if you have high self-esteem and right attitude towards yourself . repressed and downtrodden personality cannot be realized in the modern world.

It is a big mistake to constantly look for flaws in yourself. The more you do this, the more difficult it will be for you to make any, even the most insignificant decision.

self-criticism- this is excellent, but it must be harmoniously balanced with praise, forgiveness and respect for one's own personality.

Our psyche has enough specific defense mechanisms against pain, discomfort and various threats. Our consciousness is only visible part a huge iceberg that hides the subconscious behind it. It is also not homogeneous and consists of various personalities"coexisting in one body." Each of them affects the consciousness, the body constantly expressing its desires and needs.

Suppressing myself natural desire, to be happy, developing an inferiority complex, you make it possible to crawl out the most dark corners of your psyche.

This can lead to various psychological deviations of varying severity. calm person will be doomed to eternal depression(read the article - ""), and in a sensitive nature, signs of schizophrenia, various manias and other extremely serious diseases. Of course, this is very rare cases but the risk exists.

3. How to determine that you have low self-esteem?

Here is a list of signs by which you can determine whether a person has low self-esteem:

• a large number of criticism in his address, both in the case and out of the blue;
• dissatisfaction with any of their actions and results;
• too strong a reaction to extraneous criticism;
• a painful reaction to an opinion expressed about oneself, even a positive one;
• fear of doing something wrong;
• indecision, it takes a long time to think before doing anything;
• unhealthy jealousy;
• strong envy, especially when others have achieved something;
• an obsessive desire to please, literally creep in front of others;
• hatred of one's environment, unreasonable anger at others;
• constant excuses;
• the desire to protect yourself from everything in the world;
• enduring pessimism;
• lots of negativity all over the place.

Low self-esteem makes a person suffer much more from failure. Any problem is temporary, especially if you start solving it in time.

If a person is insecure, then she will aggravate the trouble until she becomes insoluble, eventually drop his hands and leave everything on gravity that will bring problems in all areas of life.

This approach to permanent basis will aggravate self-esteem, make you feel worthless, as a result hate yourself.

Society is very sensitive to this and as soon as your negative attitude to yourself, others will begin to treat you worse. The further, the more that eventually ends in alienation and reclusion, a deeply unhappy existence, lack of money and personal life, psycho-emotional disorders.

There is an absolute pattern: respect yourself and others will respect you .

Success factors are self-confidence and high self-esteem

4. Inflated self-esteem and self-confidence 👍 are the most important success factors

Self love- this is not a flaw, not arrogance, and so on. It is worth distinguishing between narcissism and a healthy respect for one's personality.

The most important - Reconcile your opinion with reality. If you are really good at carving wood, love yourself for it, be proud of it, even brag about it.

If you have just started doing this - appreciate yourself for striving for something new, desire to do something. In each action, one can find positive parties and negative . Love yourself for the first and adequately treat the second.

Only in this case, the people who surround you will see your positive aspects, start you value and respect. If everything is the other way around, and you look for more and more flaws in your work, others will do the same. And believe me, they will find them.

The more you will confident, topics more people will reach out to you. And those who have a level of self-esteem higher than yours, and those who have it lower. They will want to communicate closer, start cooperation, just talk with interesting, confident person who is not afraid and does not hesitate to tell what he considers necessary or to do what he thinks is right.

The strength of the spirit attracts everyone- from small to large, which will make you not only popular, but also more satisfied with your life.

Signs of good, high self-esteem:

• the physical body is not a burdensome ugly shell, but a given from nature;
• self-confidence, their actions and words;
• mistakes are not obstacles on the way, but a way to learn more;
• criticism is useful information that does not affect self-esteem;
• compliments are pleasant and do not cause strong emotions;
• speak calmly with all people, do not feel awkward when communicating with strangers;
• each opinion expressed is valuable, but does not fundamentally affect the opinion of the person himself;
• take care of the condition of the body;
• worry about their emotional balance, if necessary, correct it;
• constantly harmonious development, without jumps and unrealistic tasks;
• they finish what they started, achieve success in this and are not afraid of it.

Believe in yourself, respect your own self- this is the basis for achieving any goal, including the fundamental one - be happy. This will help you grow above yourself today, forget about those troubles and disgusting feelings that you experienced at the bottom of your own self-esteem.

In the former Soviet Union, many members of the older generation have big problems with self-esteem. At that time, it was extremely unpopular, since the general good was the leading one, and not the happiness of everyone. Next generation 90s also did not receive enough adequate positive information about yourself from the world because of difficult situation in the country, lack of money, dangerous criminal situation.

AT given time it's time to forget about it and think about own well-being . In order to change your self-esteem, you need to work on your personality.

This will be the very qualitative change in life that you have dreamed of so much.

The main reasons for low self-esteem

5. Low self-esteem - 5 main causes of self-doubt 📑

Mouse races, in which a person participates from birth, force him to compose definite opinion About Me. Finally, to the beginning conscious life we often get unhappy and sad young man, who perfectly understands that a lot of troubles and the need to work are waiting for him and his complexes. Why is it so?

Reason #1. A family

If you ask yourself where a person gets their opinion of themselves, the first correct answer is family. Most of our psychological attitudes we get at a very young age. This is due to the fact that during physiological development emotional development takes place.

In other words, while we are growing up, our parents and environment are laying down the brick-by-brick foundation of our future personality.

It is logical to assume that created in children's period self-image will remain with us for long years and maybe for the rest of your life. It is good if parents understand this and are responsible for what they say to the child and how they do it. However, this does not always happen.

For example, according to parents, a child from kindergarten constantly makes mistakes. The progress of parental humiliation looks like this:

• Built a beautiful house from the designer? And who will clean it up?
• Did you beat the guys from the neighboring yard in the game of snowballs? Yes, you’re all wet, you’ll get sick, but we don’t have any money anyway!
• Got 5 on physical education? Where's the math, stupid?
• What do you mean you like this girl? Her father is a gardener, and this is not prestigious!

So, day after day, parents impose on the child that he cannot do anything right. The kid stops believing that he is able to do something with his hands, have fun, choose a partner, company, and so on.

Against this background, self-love cannot arise in any way, who can respect and appreciate such an awkward creature? Then, about twenty years later, parents are surprised to discover that their child is a loser, has not achieved anything in life, is lonely and sad and blames him for this ... himself, because they put so much effort into him, and he, ungrateful... and all in the same vein.

What should a person do in this situation? Of course, work on yourself, increase self-esteem and strive for happiness. Everything is possible, the main thing is to want.

Parents should remember that criticism is a dangerous tool of education that can lead to painful consequences. It is worth knowing that you are raising an individual who must be confident in his decisions and actions, has personal opinion, be able to make decisions, and not limply follow you as an extension of your body and mind.

The best situation for a baby is kind and affectionate mother who always calm and happy. The father, on the other hand, must be demanding, have serious authority and, most importantly, treat the child fairly at any age.

It is also worth paying attention to every baby in the family, even if there are a lot of them. So-called " syndrome younger brother ", when the younger is reproached for the success of the elder - worse What can you think of to build a healthy self-esteem.

Because family for a child- the center of the universe, you should carefully consider his ego. If you feel that your self-esteem is falling, raise it.

It doesn't take much to do this - just give him fair praise a few times a day and he'll go to bed happier. Encourage him to do what he does best and gently point out flaws rather than criticize. So the self-esteem of the child will inevitably rise and ensure his stability in life and a happy future.

Reason number 2. Failure at an early age

From early childhood on our way there are failures. This is inevitable for every person, because we live in a far from ideal world. An adult with a stable psyche is usually quite calm about failures, can overcome them and extract useful information from them, but this is not always the case with children.

In quite yet early age, even if you don’t remember the failure, it is possible that it is in the depths of your subconscious and whispers all the time: “ do nothing, it won't work anyway, I'm always behind you". This must be fought.

Over time, if you work on your personality, these memories will come up, they will be very painful and unpleasant, but having analyzed them in detail and realizing that your mistake is completely insignificant and should not subsequently affect you in any way, you will get rid of a significant burden on your heart.

Starting from the time you remember well all your troubles, it is much easier to work with this. Rummaging through the mind, you are sure to find a couple dozens moments that have haunted you since high school. Refusal of a roommate, teacher's bad expression, rude comment father, failure in competition, double in physics are all examples of a heavy load that lowers your self-esteem and picks up positive energy to eternal torment over long-experienced problems.

All this from youth forms the consciousness of a loser who simply cannot achieve something in life, and this is a lie - after all, everyone is capable of it.

Reason number 3. Life passivity

The formation of personality begins in childhood and in the early stages does not require any effort from us. However, the older we get, the more this situation changes.

To 15 years old our personality will not move forward an inch if we do not try for it. That is, over time, each person will be required more and more more power will, in order to at least remain at the original level, it will be necessary to do more and more to develop.

If from childhood a child is depressed, not used to working on himself and developing, in adulthood he will relate to the so-called gray mass.

This substance in society is characterized by the fact that its unit:

• does not want to develop;
• constantly putting off important things for later (procrastinates). About that, read in one of our articles;
• does not dream of more;
• does not take personal responsibility for himself or his family;
• accustomed to poverty/small prosperity;
• does not take care of himself, his appearance;
• believes that everything new is terrible and superfluous in his life;
• does not know how to be satisfied or dissatisfied - emotions are absolutely inert.

There is a famous physicist saying that a person without willpower is just a vertical puddle. The gray mass consists of such individuals. This is not an example of poor self-esteem, but of its complete absence.

No aspirations, no wishes, eternal lack of money and lack of any bright impressions that can dispel the gray reality.

This is a rather sad sight that destroys thousands of lives, including those children who grow up in such families. Raise self-esteem in such a case it is vital for women and men.

If this is not done, a happy, bright, full of emotions life will pass by, leaving fragments of poverty and an eternally depressive mood.

Reason number 4. Environment

We are all surrounded by a large number of people. Some of them are successful, others not so much, and others do not want to be so. If you decide to take everything from life, to make yourself a happy, self-confident person, you should acquire the appropriate environment.

Signs of an unhealthy society:

• constant groundless philosophizing, verbiage;
• criticism of everything in the world, from the government to neighbors, especially groundless or meaningless;
• inertia and lack of initiative, for example, if you cannot persuade your friends to go to a concert or a movie;
• constant gossip, condemnation of others behind their backs;
• planning to get rich quick without any action or effort;
• a large amount of alcohol, cigarettes and other bad habits.

The lack of desire to develop, work and generally try in life is quite contagious. In such a company, you feel no worse than anyone, but it relaxes, requires a lot of time and emotions, pulls you to the bottom. it energy vampirism which is difficult, even impossible, to fight. If you can, leave such a company or environment completely, if not, just minimize communication.

The best society for those who strive to develop is people who have already achieved. Don't know how to meet them? Try going to places you haven't been before. Usually this libraries, book the shops, theaters, thematic establishments, seminars, trainings and so on.

Reason number 5. Appearance problems

A strong factor, especially in adolescence is appearance. If she has some defects, then even with the right approach of relatives to education, low self-esteem can be formed on the basis of the opinions of peers, teachers, and so on.

The most common example in this case is excess weight . Offensive nicknames, the lack of attention of girls / boys, the contemptuous attitude of some adults - all this naturally affects the personality of the child.

If this manifested itself in adulthood, then the person will demonstrate his resentment not so clearly, but the pain will not decrease from this.

In order to change this, you can try to fix the defect. For example, if this is a diet, then the whole family should sit on it so that the child does not feel disadvantaged. If change is not possible, the child needs to be helped to come to terms with this situation and develop in a different direction.

There are many charismatic and attractive fat men in the world and thin people who are absolutely not interesting to anyone.

7 Ways to Raise Your Self-Esteem and Become Self-Confident

6. How to increase self-esteem and confidence - 7 ways 📚

Having figured out what self-esteem is, why it is needed and what influences it on its formation, you can proceed to how to work with it, namely how to raise it.

It’s not enough just to realize that you don’t evaluate yourself correctly, you also need to be able to change the situation. Below are some interesting and effective ways to increase self-esteem and confidence.

Method number 1. Environment

The society you move in defines who you are. It is important for everyone not to be the last. In a company where no one has achieved anything, you feel comfortable because everyone is just like you.

Now imagine that you find yourself in a social circle where one bought yesterday new car, the second opened a new branch of his store, the third recently graduated from the university. At the same time, you hardly graduated from technical school, and can't get a job anywhere.

What will your feelings be? Certainly unpleasant. In addition, you will receive a powerful, powerful impetus to development, a desire to do something significant for your life and career. At first you will feel awkward, but over time you will realize that you are changing for the better with this company.

In addition, you will get rid of the eternally depressing social circle that pulls you to the bottom and ridicules all your timid undertakings.

A strong and successful person will never, laughs at those who are just trying their hand. On the contrary, he will help and prompt, even support, if necessary.

Look for the right social circle that will make you work on yourself.

Method number 2. Literature, trainings, films

Having dealt with the environment, proceed to decisive steps, namely, take up reading books on working on yourself, increasing self-esteem. This list will help you:

• Brian Tracy "Self-Esteem";
• Sharon Wegshida-Kroes “How much are you worth? How to learn to love and respect yourself”;
• "The Charm of the Feminine" by Helen Andelin;
• Louise Hay Heal Your Life.

Next stage - attending seminars and practices . People who want to change and coaches who are able to give it to them gather here. Thus, you change the environment and get the desired information. it effective way, which allows you to kill two birds with one stone.

Method number 3. The comfort zone is actually the enemy

No matter how strange it may sound, but for now you comfortable and calmly in the world in which you exist is very bad for your personality. The established rules of life will make you ossify and freeze at one place. Only by doing something new can you develop.

In fact, it only seems to you that you already have all the best. There, outside your invisible cage, lives and rages wonderful and amusing a world that is filled not with difficulties and troubles, but incredible adventures, new stories and acquaintances.

As soon as you throw your fears into the furnace, he will open up to you, instill a sense of self-confidence and show many brightest events that you might not have thought of.

What do you need to do to leave your "comfort zone"? Analyze where your time is going. How many hours a week do you watch TV, how much do you drink, how much do you play games, and so on. Reduce this time by three hours in seven days and devote them to something new. For what you've always wanted: sculpt from clay, sew a new dress, plant a flower, go to the circus / cinema / theater. The more active the better. With time bright life will drag you in, and you will forget about the mediocre chatty box and other garbage items.

Method number 4. Down with self-criticism!

If you stop eating yourself alive superfluous self-criticism , you can immediately perform three extremely important tasks, which in other ways will take you a lot of time and effort.

Firstly, you will get a lot of free energy. All those forces that you spent on self-criticism and the search for reasons for it can be directed to actions that are more pleasant and useful. For example, reading exciting books with a relaxing plot or writing poetry, knitting, planting flowers, and so on.

Secondly start to perceive yourself whole personality which has its own personality. Yes, you do not look like Vasya, Einstein or Alain Delon. And it is not necessary! Be yourself, and do not participate in the eternal, someone else's competition in which someone has already taken first place.

Thirdly, you will begin to notice in yourself not only the negative, but also positive points. Everyone has something good, something that he knows how to do. Discover it, isolate and educate, improve, nurture, without wasting time and effort. This is the best investment in yourself!

Whatever painful mistakes you encounter, don't let yourself grieve over them for more than an hour. After suffering a little, force yourself to be happy again, and take failure as an experience.

Method number 5. Physical exercise

So unloved by many, physical activity greatly affects our emotional state. To boost self-esteem, buying a gym membership can do more than a lot of training.

This happens because:

• during sports, a wonderful hormone dopamine is released in a person, which excites our brain and gives a pleasant encouragement, colloquially it is also called the hormone of joy;
• you bring your body, and hence your appearance, into perfect order, so that over time you can be proud of it and respect yourself for the work done;
• even the classes themselves are important without results, because in the process of performing each exercise you overcome laziness, complexes and other troubles;
• improving well-being gives and develops confidence in yourself and your actions, in every step - it is easier for you to move and feel, it is easier to persuade yourself to start doing something.

it great way improve the quality of life for people with a sedentary lifestyle and the same work. All day, after spending in a stuffy office, it is worth unwinding, but not going to drink beer in a bar. It's more likely to have a detrimental effect on you, and sport on the contrary, it will update and make it more cheerful.

A heavy-lifting person, with a heavy and unattractive body, cannot feel good in the company of slender and healthy people. This is fertile ground for the development of complexes, lowering self-esteem and other troubles.

Among other things, sports will help to start New acquaintances With purposeful people who will be able to teach and show by your own example, that any changes are possible, which also has a beneficial effect on your psyche.

Method number 6. Subconscious programming

You can also influence your consciousness with the help of another, no less interesting and effective tool - programming. In psychology, this is called affirmations. Consider your computer. You give it a command, it processes it and takes the requested action. It's the same with our subconscious, only a little more complicated. You can't just say, "make me happy and confident."

The code, the command is memorized or recorded on the recorder. It should sound like a solid, realized fact. For example, "I am confident", " girls like me», « I can have what I want without much effort» and all in the same spirit. There should not be many such phrases, they should be repeated in the playlist or just to yourself for about two minutes.

These affirmations and they will be the very installation in the subconscious, the command for the computer, which will convince your subconscious of what you need. Do you want to be confident- please convince the hidden parts of your brain of this and it will independently remake the entire conscious part so that you become completely independent and can easily make decisions.

There is one rule here - you need to do this regularly, even after you feel the changes. Continue until you are surprised to find that the affirmations you are listening to are already a fact.

Remember that these words should have exclusively positive influence on your personality, not to form ambiguities and not to cause doubts. What you convince yourself of should only be useful, without negative effects, because it will not be easy to “persuade” the subconscious mind back.

Method number 7. Remember your victories

Never neglect what has already been done. This is important for your consciousness, and for the subconscious and for Have a good mood. There is always something to praise yourself for, and if this is not enough, you will begin to subconsciously strive to do something good for the sake of it. Even if you praise yourself.

To operate this mechanism, start a notebook of victories. In it you need to write down everything that you consider a good deed, a useful action, and so on. Any little things or minor victories - all this is very important for your self-esteem, a sense of being needed in the world.

It might look like this, for example:

• had breakfast on time;
• took the linen from the laundry;
• bought some roses for his beloved wife;
• pleased his daughter with a game of tag;
• earned an award for a well-written report;
• went to the gym three times a week;
• lost 300 grams.

As you can see, achievements can be anything as long as they brought joy to someone or moral satisfaction to you. In a few months, you can collect an impressive collection that will warm your soul on cold evenings.

Write it down in your personal notebook and in difficult times when you cannot find strength in yourself perform some difficult task or go up to an extracurricular meeting at work, reread a few pages of the diary.

Guaranteed to lift your spirits, you'll remember how much positive emotions brought your efforts to you and your loved ones, and this is a powerful impetus to defeat all the troubles in the world.

The use of these ways to increase self-esteem requires regularity and mindfulness. Carefully monitor your state and thoughts, try to highlight the most successful of them, watch how you change.

This will help you get to know yourself better, learn to communicate with your inner self, and control your life.

Coaching to develop and increase self-confidence - by overcoming public opinion

7. Self-confidence training - overcoming the opinions of society 📝

The society that surrounds us, as we have already understood, seriously affects our self-esteem. If you give it too much great importance, then it is quite capable of destroying the personality.

Of course, criticism is important. Our loved ones point out our mistakes to us, show us the moments in which, in their opinion, we did wrong and this is good. It is called healthy relationships .

However, let it completely define your personality poorly. Each person must decide for himself what is good in his life and what is not, and how in the end he will act in a given situation.

Don't worry about what others will say about you first. First, decide what you think about it, and try to perceive the rest of the information as a background, secondarily.

Try to make sure that the opinion of society depends on yours, and not vice versa. There are several interesting exercises for this.

A little circus. This is just a physical exercise that will require you to seriously psychological forces. Look in the closet for something ridiculous - an old long tie, funny pants, anything that seems funny to you. Now put it on and boldly head out into the street. Go shopping, go to the movies and so on. It's not worth doing this at work.- may be misunderstood, otherwise - complete expanse. However, do not overdo it, first take less provocative things and eventually put on something more fun so as not to immediately injure your psyche.

This exercise works like this. Your subconscious retains a lot of complexes that are associated with its appearance. The more you go out of your comfort zone, that is, dressing the wrong way, the more your subconscious mind will independently destroy established complexes and make your consciousness, and therefore life, freer.

More public. This exercise is simple. The more you speak in public, the more honed this skill will become. Appearances before large quantity people requires composure, high-quality preparation, effort of will.

This will help you learn to concentrate and complete the task quickly, while being responsible for the result. In addition, it will elevate you in the eyes of your superiors, and will recommend you well among a large audience.

Do these two exercises and be firm in your opinion.

8. How to find yourself and learn how to manage your self-esteem 📋

Much has been said about self-esteem. It may be difficult for you to immediately perceive and implement the entire situation.

For this there is 5 golden rules to print out and hang on the fridge. Constantly reminding and reading them will do the job for you. On a subconscious level, your brain will perceive them as instructions for action and will facilitate the period of transformation into a successful person.

• No need to compare yourself and others!
• No need to beat yourself up for mistakes!
• Surround yourself with positivity!
• Learn to love what you do!
• Prefer action over passivity!

Everyone unique and worthy happiness. It is imperative to unleash your unlimited potential in order to get everything out of life.

For this you need permanent job over oneself and the mandatory increase in self-esteem. But the results will not be long in coming, which will benefit both you and your environment.

9. Self-esteem test - determine the level of attitude towards yourself today 📄

First practical task on the way to increasing self-esteem is the definition of its level. To do this, there is a very simple self-esteem test of a dozen questions.

It is very easy to pass it - read each item and answer " Yes" or " No" . Every time you answer " Yes"Remember.

1. Do you sharply criticize yourself when you make a mistake?
2. Gossip is one of your favorite activities?
3. You do not have clear guidelines?
4. Are you not physically active?
5. Do you often worry about the little things?
6. In an unfamiliar society, do you prefer not to be noticed?
7. Does criticism make you feel stressed?
8. Envy and criticism of others often happens?
9. The opposite sex remains a mystery, scares you?
10. Can an inadvertently thrown word offend you?

Now you need to remember how many "Yes" you said. If less three Your self-esteem is at a normal level. If more three- you need work on it.

10. Conclusion + related video

With a sincere desire to change and change your life, you can achieve a lot. Raising, normalizing self-esteem, this is one of the first, fairly simple steps, which ultimately allows you to achieve success, happiness and of money.

Do not spare your strength, do not take care of yourself until better times. Develop now, get invaluable experience and build your future on a new level!