Click to enlarge

Some people are faced with a serious psychological problem, because of which there is a big dispute within the personality. In other words, intrapersonal conflict is the contradictions that cover the individual. He is in great doubt, cannot accept only decision, because two opposite points vision have the same "weight". It is worth noting that this psychological problem can lead to serious personal growth, if a person connects all his resources and mobilizes, so to big problems.

How does it happen in life? For example, a person finds himself in a difficult situation and cannot make final choice between real feelings and an arranged marriage. Cannot make the final choice between work and family. There are a lot of such situations, but if you “plunge into them with your head” and give them great importance, there is a risk to come to an intrapersonal conflict. Due to the lack of harmony between the outside world and one's own Self, there is also a risk of developing more serious psychological abnormalities. Therefore, it is necessary to analyze approaches to understanding intrapersonal conflict.

The basis and features of intrapersonal conflict

Click to enlarge

As mentioned above, the basis of intrapersonal conflict is, first of all, the disagreements experienced within the individual. This conflict flares up inside a person, and he, as a rule, does not take it out. the world. The individual finds himself in a situation where he needs to rethink his values ​​and, if this can be done, acquires new values. useful qualities and vision of the world. However, in reality, it is not always possible to cope with the situation, which leads to even greater isolation and asociality. Features of intrapersonal conflict are such that they cause stress, frustration and anxiety.

Anxiety manifests itself even before a certain situation unfolds. It, in turn, is divided into situational and personal. Situational anxiety develops due to external circumstances, but if a person does not have time to cope with it, it immediately turns into a personal one. Remember how in childhood we were scolded for deuces and threatened with punishment. When the baby gets negative evaluation, situational anxiety occurs (external circumstances have added up in a bad way), after which he remembers his parents and the intended consequences. Thus, internal anxiety begins to manifest itself. These moments begin internal dialogues that can develop into something more, for example, into intrapersonal conflicts or frustration.

Frustration is a state in which a person experiences great frustration. It occurs when there is no way to difficult problem by subject or objective reasons. The same child cannot avoid scandal at home, this leads him to oppression and frustration. In adults, this condition occurs most often when setting a goal and the impossibility of achieving it. When an individual throws all his strength and resources into solving a problem, but it turns out to be unsolvable in this moment time. As a result, a person experiences great disappointment, impotence, and his desires do not coincide with his capabilities.

Further, if the individual fails to cope with the developing internal negativity, stress may occur, which covers more more themes concerning life in general and its position in it. Let's get back to goal setting. Suppose an individual has set a goal to earn much more money, and as usual, he overestimated his capabilities. However, he wants to have expensive car, new housing and beautiful things. As a result, there is a mobilization of all forces and after some time he realizes that nothing can be achieved, he abandons his idea. A small conflict flares up within the personality, a person begins to blame himself, and then the whole world around him for injustice. You can often find statements that life is unpleasant, only lucky bad people, around deceit and corruption. Although most often these problems do not directly affect the individual and have only a minor impact on his life.

What is intrapersonal conflict?

To finally understand the concept of intrapersonal conflict, imagine a state of complete doubt. It is so strong, and two opposing opinions are so reasonable, that you find yourself in a kind of stupor. And if we add to this the insolubility of the problem on our own and the impossibility of help from the outside world, a person is even more immersed in an intrapersonal conflict. Interestingly, the confrontation develops according to several scenarios.

• Latency. In such a state, a person does not even notice that he is in a confrontational state. As a rule, he has a lot to do, he is in a fuss, because of which there is no opportunity to be alone with himself. under the mask vigorous activity or euphoria hides the plight of the individual;
• Unusual structure. In this state, intrapersonal conflict is not based on other subjects;
• Specificity. A person, among other things, experiences stress, fear, depression.

Renowned psychologist in Western world Sigmund Freud believed that the essence human nature is a constant mental conflict. This tension is often associated with social culture and desire of the individual. A small example is the rules of conduct. For example, we are told: “You need to be quiet in the library.” But maybe we want to talk to someone interesting topic in full voice or even stand in the middle of the room on your head. Such situations great amount and most of them are small, which we can handle.

The German psychologist Levin believed that a strong intrapersonal conflict develops when two opposing opinions of the same size collide inside a person. And the greater their significance and vital importance, the greater the risk of developing a confrontation within oneself. Rogers also made an interesting point. How often do we set ourselves ideals that are impossible to achieve. Moreover, sometimes our judgments are so subjective that we ourselves deny the possibility of achievement. As a result, the understanding of the ideal Self that we strive for, and the real discrepancy leads to big problems and impotence.

Varieties and types

Click to enlarge

If we talk about the main types of intrapersonal conflicts, then it is worth understanding that we are dealing with subjective opinion. As a result, there are no exact concepts, as the authors look at the problem differently. However, the basis is there. As a rule, intrapersonal conflicts flare up in the social-consumer and value-motivational spheres.

Value-motivational sphere:

• Moral. When a person does not find a balance between his preferences and morality. Between personal installation and duty to society;
• Motivation. It often develops in situations where, in order to achieve a goal, you need to sacrifice your safety and comfort. As a result, the question arises between calmness and the desire to possess something.
• Adaptation. Conflict arises when it is difficult for a person to adapt to a new reality. For example, a change of circle of friends or a new place of work;
• Unfulfillment. The desired does not coincide with the actual;
• Inadequate self-esteem. Sometimes a person underestimates his abilities too much or, on the contrary, overestimates them, as a result of which intrapersonal conflicts with reality arise.

Classification of intrapersonal conflicts in the social consumer sphere:

• Conflict of social norms. Often a person denies social foundations, since they do not coincide with the inner vision;
• Conflict of needs. Often, due to a limited budget, we cannot choose the right product and whims win. As a result, there are many loans, the meaning of life is lost, there is no joy from owning;
• Conflict between social norm and need.

There are also types of intrapersonal conflicts. Levin ( German psychologist), proposed 4 main types: frustrating, vital, equivalent and ambivalent.

• The ambivalent type of confrontation develops in those cases when the result or some actions are equally repulsive and seductive. There is a contradiction;
• Equivalent. When an individual is given the goal of completing several tasks of equal importance. To get out of the conflict, you need to find a compromise;
• The frustrating type develops when a person forbids himself to perform some actions, as they diverge from generally accepted moral principles and society;
• Vital. When a person has to make decisions that he does not like, but they are necessary.

We can distinguish the main forms of manifestation of intrapersonal conflicts:

• Euphoria - unjustified joy, tears are often interspersed with laughter;
• Neurasthenia - migraine, insomnia, high depression, low performance;
• Projection - criticism, negativity in relationships with people;
• Regression - primitivism in behavior, denial of responsibility.
• Nomadism - a constant desire for change;
• Rationalism is self-justification.

The reasons

As a rule, the causes of intrapersonal conflict, its appearance and development, are due to three main factors:

• External, due to the behavior of the individual within a particular group;
• Internal, hidden in the contradictions of the personality itself;
• External, due to the status as a whole within society.

When a person is faced with external factors caused by confrontation with society as a whole, they are usually based on personal status. That is, a person does not like his position in society or how he is treated.

Intrapersonal conflicts within a particular group may be different, however, there is common ground- the inability to meet their needs. For example:

• The absence of the desired object. I want a cup of coffee, but they don't sell that kind in this city, and so on;
• physical barriers. A person is in a closed room, cannot get out on his own;
• social circumstances;
• biological barriers.

However, it cannot be said that one of the causes is separate from the other. In fact, everything is very interconnected and one reason smoothly flows into another. For example, the development of internal conflict is most often due to confrontation with certain group or society as a whole. Just like that, contradictions (from the void) cannot appear. It should not be forgotten that the basis of confrontation is based on two opposing opinions that must be importance. Otherwise, this will not be a problem for the individual, and he will miss them by introspection.

It is important that the opinions are of equal strength, otherwise the individual will simply choose the strongest one. When they are of the same size, confrontation arises, stormy dialogues develop inside. What are the contradictions based on?

• confrontation social roles. Modern world requires a person to perform many tasks, and time, as a rule, is not enough. For example, an adult is tasked with picking up a child from kindergarten and fulfill an urgent order for work;
• Confrontation between ordinary need and social norm. As you know, the human stomach works and sometimes it needs to remove gases. But what to do when there is a meeting or you are in a decent society;
• Controversy of religion and social values. A striking example- military actions. A true Christian observes the commandment “Thou shalt not kill”, but when something threatens his family or homeland, a big dilemma also arises;
• Mismatch between interests, needs and motives. In other words, a person himself does not understand what he needs from life in general.

Often intrapersonal conflict develops because of working relationships within the enterprise, since most time a person has to work and is in the conditions that are created external environment. If a person could choose where and how to work, many problems simply would not arise. The main reasons for the development of conflict within a particular group:

• The struggle of values ​​between their views on life, foundations and professional tasks. For example, if a person is pure in heart, used to speaking honestly, it will be difficult or even impossible for him to engage in advertising and sales;
• Great responsibility and excessive tasks that are not commensurate with the possibility of a person.
• Striving for creativity and routine work at the enterprise;
• Two incompatible tasks;
• Severe work requirements and poor working conditions;
• Poor mechanism for achieving the goal, vagueness, ambiguity and at the same time a specific task.
• Morality and profit.

Forms and methods of solving the problem

Click to enlarge

To analyze the forms of manifestation and ways to resolve intrapersonal conflicts is important task for every person. We have already talked about forms, now we can move on to the topic of resolving the situation. The bottom line is, if a person does not find for himself positive decision, this will lead to a protracted confrontation and, as a result, to a suicidal situation, nervous breakdown or the development of psychological disorders. That is why it is important to know how to act in the current conditions. Moreover, if you calmly figure it out, it is not so difficult.

In order for the resolution of intrapersonal conflict to occur as quickly as possible, it is worth paying attention to the following points:

• Care. Try to let go difficult situation and switch to another topic. Sometimes the problem can not be solved with the existing skills and capabilities. Therefore, it is worth reconciling;
• Compromise. If there is a choice, try to come to a compromise and immediately take action;
• Sublimation. In cases where you can not solve the problem, switch to another type of activity that brings pleasure. For example, a hobby, sports or creativity, where you can achieve results. Later return to unsolved problem with new forces. In some cases, this works as a warning of the development of intrapersonal conflicts;
• Reorientation. Change your attitude towards a person or object;
• Idealization. If the reality is very bad, turn on the music and try to dream. Break away from reality. Watch a comedy or movie that you enjoy the most;
• Correction. Try to be objective about your Self;
• Crowding out. If desires are unrealistic, try to suppress them or push them away for a long time, switching to more achievable ones.

Click to enlarge

Interestingly, the consequences of intrapersonal conflict are of the same "nature" as the confrontation itself. That is, he can provide positive effect on personality, and negative. In any case, the result will depend only on the individual.

Negative Consequences

• dead end in personal development, degradation is possible;
• A constant state of stress, anxiety, suspiciousness, dependence on the opinions of other people and circumstances;
• Disorganization in physiological and psychological terms;
• Decreased activity;
• Manifestation polar qualities- obedience or aggressiveness. Inferiority, uncertainty in their actions often develop, the meaning of life is lost.

In society, behavior manifests itself as follows:

• Inappropriate reaction to other people;
• Isolation from other members of the group;
• Blaming others for your failures.

If a person does not resolve the causes of an intrapersonal conflict in time, there is a risk of developing psychological deviations of a neurotic nature. That is why it is important to contact psychologists at any age if you are unable to solve the situation.

Positive Consequences

• Will and character are tempered in struggle. People who often overcome themselves become strong, able to manage an internal resource;
• Self-improvement, self-development and self-affirmation;
• Develops intrapersonal intelligence;
• The human psyche is more resistant to influences external stimuli. After several victories, a person is no longer afraid to accept the challenge and boldly goes into the fight, improving his Self.

As you can see, problems like these challenge us, but they have hidden growth potential. If you gather your courage or turn to the help of specialists, they will help you eliminate the causes of intrapersonal conflict and make you stronger.

Your mind and heart feel like they are split.

You want to do something, but another part of you is screaming "there is no way!"

You believe in something, but you cannot justify the actions that faith teaches.

You feel it is right, but at the same time you also feel it is wrong.

How can you understand all this confusion, all this inner conflict? You feel your brain melt and you begin to despair.

If you feel like you are taking small steps towards madness, or the confusion is becoming too much to handle, stop right now. Pause. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. For the next minute, focus on your breath: inhale and exhale.

In this article, I hope to help you understand the roots of your internal conflicts and how to find peace of mind.

Internal conflict is the presence of opposite psychological beliefs, desires, impulses or feelings. In the field of psychology, internal conflict is often referred to as " cognitive dissonance”, which means the presence of conflicting and incompatible thoughts, beliefs and views. This psychological struggle can happen at any time in life life sphere, relationships, obligations, at work, in religious beliefs, in moral views and social ideologies.

An example of internal conflict: a man who believes in women's rights, but does not allow them to make decisions. AT religious world internal conflict often arises when a person is confronted with a doctrine or doctrine that he is uncomfortable preaching.

The worst battle is the battle between what we know and what we feel.

When we encounter any internal conflict, it is because of a disagreement between our heart and head.

According to research conducted at the HeartMath Institute, our hearts carry their own special kind intuitive intelligence. When we are brought up in a society dominated by the mind, we become very confused and confused when our hearts are involved in daily activities. It is very easy to listen to the mind, mindlessly obey what others teach us, and plan our lives logically. But our hearts carry their own special kind of intelligence that is non-linear, sophisticated, and often very abstract. There is no formula, no set of rules that are tied to the intelligence of the heart: we must tune in to the voice within that often confuses us so much.

Our intelligence is what gives structure, direction and direction to our lives. practical use. But the intelligence of the heart is what breathes life and truth into the framework of our journey. Without listening to our hearts, we live soulless, dissatisfied and unreliable lives. But, not listening to the head, we live in absolute chaos.

As we can see, a balance is needed. We need to listen to both the heart and the head, but we often tend to put one over the other, which is the reason why we experience internal conflict.

So why is there internal conflict? This is because we do not have balance and balance between the heart and head. Our heart says one thing, but our mind says another: and both scream with the same intensity. When our actions are not aligned with our values, the inevitable result is feelings of discomfort and even shame. So what should we listen to, when, and why? We will look at the answer to this question, but first of all, we need to understand what creates internal conflict.

We face internal conflict for a number of reasons. Often there is no single cause or origin, but there are a number of factors that include:

• Beliefs and rules that we inherited from our parents.
• Religious beliefs, dogmas or creeds in which we believe.
• Social values ​​and ideals that we have adopted.

Simply put, the more beliefs, ideals, expectations, and desires we have, the more likely we are to suffer from internal conflict.

There are many various types internal conflicts, and I tried to cover as much as possible. Pay Special attention to those below.

1. Moral conflict

Ethical conflict occurs when we hold conflicting beliefs about what is related to our personal ethics. For example, moral conflict can arise when a person believes in human rights but does not allow euthanasia. Or a person may place a high value on truthfulness, but lie to save another person's life.

2. Sexual conflict

Sexual conflict often overlaps with other types of internal conflicts such as religious or moral conflicts. For example, a person may be a Christian, but he discovers that he is a homosexual. Or a person may appreciate a monogamous relationship when they are sexually more suited to a polygamous relationship.

3. Religious conflict

Religious conflict is quite common as it revolves around mind oriented beliefs and beliefs, which makes them especially fragile. An example of religious conflict is belief in loving God, but it's hard to accept that this "loving" being sends people to hell for eternity. Or a person who is religiously faithful uses various narcotic substances. When scientific facts religious conflict can arise in a person who values ​​both the truth and his religious beliefs.

4. Political conflict

Political conflict occurs when a person feels a split between his beliefs and those of his political party. For example, a person may believe in his country, but not in the tax system. A person may agree with a party but disagree with their healthcare system. Or a person may believe in political philosophy but disagree with the methods of supporting that party.

5. Love conflict

A love conflict occurs when we love someone and at the same time want to do something that will hurt them. For example, we may love our child, but believing that we have to beat him to make him obedient makes us feel guilty. We can also love a person and want to keep the relationship with him, but understand that we must let him go.

6. Conflict of self-esteem

Your image is your internal idea of ​​yourself, for example, “My name is Ivan. I am a patient, loving and compassionate person. I'm a disorganized artist who supports animal rights, etc." Internal conflict occurs when we are confronted with evidence that contradicts our beliefs about ourselves. For example, a person who thinks they are honest may lie on their resume to get their dream job. Someone for healthy eating can't quit smoking. A person who identifies as an empath may experience constant resentment towards the other person.

7. Interpersonal conflict

interpersonal conflict intersects with other types of intrapersonal conflicts such as self-esteem and love. This type of conflict occurs in social situations when you want to do one thing but act differently. For example, Anton hates talking about sports, but he pretends to be interested in what his colleagues are saying. An introvert doesn't have a lot of energy but creates a façade" increased energy' to match others. Or someone is offended by a friend, but does not say anything, even if you really want to say it.

8. Existential conflict

Existential conflict involves feelings of discomfort and confusion in life, especially when two opposing beliefs or desires arise. For example, to hate life, but at the same time love it. Or the will to live full life, but not wanting to make any changes or get out of their comfort zone. Existential conflict can also be directed at the world, such as the desire to save the planet, but at the same time believe that it is doomed or pollute it.

Note that all of these examples of intrapersonal conflict often overlap with each other. This list is also not definitive, so feel free to leave a comment if you think any kind of internal conflict is missing.

All the struggle takes place within. And what is the cause of the inner conflict? Attachment to beliefs, desires and expectations.

Quite simply, all our suffering comes from believing our thoughts instead of seeing them for what they really are: the transmission of energy fluctuations in the brain. Are we in control of our thoughts? No. Otherwise, we would always choose to think happy and harmonious thoughts. We don't even know what our next thought will be, let alone the next ten, because they all spontaneously arise and disappear. If we have no control over these thoughts, then how can they mean anything about us unless we ourselves give them meaning?

Sit down and try to watch your thoughts come. Are you in control of them? Or do they control you?

Also, here are some other tips that I hope can help you find more peace and clarity:

The difference between intuition and fear.

In the long run, which choice would be the wisest?

When our heart is dominant, we tend to make rash, poorly thought out decisions. When the head leads: prudence, foresight. Foresight is wisdom. With the knowledge you have now, what would be the most wise decision in the long term?

Weigh all the pros and cons.

If you're trying to find clarity, split the page in two. List all the pros of your solution on the one hand and the cons on the other.

Figure out your number one priority.

Internal conflict often occurs when we don't have a clear priority. What is your most top priority at the moment? What do you value the most?

What misguided beliefs are fueling your confusion?

What false, misleading, limiting, or irrelevant beliefs are causing conflict within you? Write down your problem on a piece of paper and next to it ask "Why?" For example, you may want to keep your job, but also yearn to stay at home with your little ones. As you relentlessly ask why, you might find that you believe that being at home with children makes you a failure, and you have accepted this belief from society.

Be ruthlessly honest: what are you afraid of?

Fear is always at the root of inner conflict. What really scares you? What are you most afraid of? Sometimes discovering your underlying fear helps you gain more clarity and focus.

What is the "lesser of two evils"?

If you had to make a choice with a gun to your head, what decision would you make?

What resists the flow?

One easy way to test what "shouldn't be" is to study what causes more resistance in life. Remember, life flows easily. It is our thoughts and desires that cut the stream. So let's explore what creates great resistance in life. Are you clinging to a ship that sailed long ago?

A more loving approach.

Do you respect your authenticity or honor what you "feel" you should do/be? Which approach or choice is more in line with truth and love?

Is there a more important issue?

Sometimes internal conflict actually hides deeper issues that need to be explored in order to find a solution, such as negative beliefs in themselves, unresolved feelings of shame, or childhood trauma.

Relaxation of the mind.

Relaxation is great way develop new perspectives. Try meditating, listening to soothing music, or practicing mindfulness. Often the best answers come when we're not looking for them.

Refuse to choose.

Do you need an answer right now? Sometimes letting life move in the direction it wants is the best option than the violent way. Wayne Dyer: "The conflict will not survive without your complicity."

I hope these tips help you find more peace of mind. Remember that it is absolutely normal to experience intrapersonal conflict, and there is nothing strange about you. In addition, when we are talking about internal conflicts, people tend to romanticize the heart and believe that we should only listen to what the heart wants. But this is an unbalanced approach: you need to listen to both the heart and the brain to create inner harmony.

If you want to make an appointment for a consultation, you can use the phone number or fill out the form feedback, for this go to the page with contact details and choose the method that is convenient for you. Thank you!

Internal conflicts studied by a huge number of psychologists, including Sigmund Freud, who was the first to point out the essence of this state. She lies in constant voltage associated with a huge number of contradictions around a person: social, cultural, inclinations, desires.

Types of intrapersonal conflicts

There are six main groups of internal conflicts that overtake each of us from time to time.

1. Motivational - the collision of different motives.
2. Moral - the clash of our desires and responsibilities. Very often it arises as a result of a discrepancy between our desires and the requirements of parents or the environment.
3. Lack of fulfillment or inferiority complex. An internal conflict of this kind arises if your desires do not turn into reality. He often refers to dissatisfaction with his appearance, or abilities.
4. Inter-role conflict occurs when a person takes on two roles and cannot determine which one is more suitable for him. For example, a woman is a careerist or a mother.
5. An adaptive conflict arises if the requirements for the surrounding world do not correspond to the possibilities. Often found in professional field.
6. Inadequate self-esteem arises as a result of discrepancies between one's personal claims and an assessment of opportunities.

Causes of intrapersonal conflict

As we have said, internal conflict is a normal human process that develops. In fact, this is the result of a constant search for oneself, a struggle for certain place in life. But if they are not resolved in time, they can lead a person into a complete existential vacuum, which is akin to a feeling of emptiness and abandonment. Such a state can end in a serious disorder, which is characterized by the belief in the absolute absence of the meaning of life.

Among the most common causes: Controversy, different aspirations, multiple desires, and difficulty in prioritizing. These are contradictions in the sphere of interests, goals, motives. The lack of opportunities to realize something, and at the same time the inability to ignore your desire. This is a special manifestation of a completely normal interaction of various components of a person's personality.

It is interesting that an internal conflict arises only when two equal forces press on a person. If one of them is not equally important as the second, we choose the most best option and avoid conflict.

How to resolve internal conflict?

Although internal conflicts are normal condition developing person, they must be addressed or try to warn. There are specific techniques for this. We will give you some tips that will help you understand the problem and begin to resolve it.

Start by knowing yourself. It is very important to specifically understand all your pros and cons. Thus, in your eyes, you will become a well-defined, whole person.

Analyze your mistakes and shortcomings in terms of obstacles to unlocking your potential. Often a huge number of factors that hinder its development are concentrated in a person:

• The habit of shifting responsibility
• Faith in others but not in yourself
• Habitual hypocrisy
• Unwillingness to pursue and defend your happiness
• Independent blunting of one's own strength, which stimulates the development
• Obsession with the unimportant and unimportant

Try to be clear about your values.

Develop self-confidence: constantly try new things, don’t fuss, don’t be jealous or humiliated, don’t lie to yourself and don’t try to impress others, don’t adapt to the environment.

Start by changing yourself and your internal conflicts will recede by themselves, and you will feel a real increase in your abilities.

An internal conflict always arises gradually and affects a person gradually - this is its danger. Our psychology is such that we do not immediately notice that we are losing harmony. A person perceives his condition as normal and does not think about what is happening to him. Much easier to suppress inner anxiety rather than recognize problems and treat psychological disorders.

Many people find it shameful to admit that their psychological condition unstable is human psychology. They prove their "normality" in every possible way and prefer not to notice the signals that the subconscious sends them. As a result, internal conflict grows to huge size and is quite difficult to deal with.

The psychology of internal imbalance is such that he carefully guards his "possessions". A person does not want to delve into himself, he puts on "rose-colored glasses" and builds an invisible wall between himself and the outside world. People do not like to admit their own psychological distress - the more they worry about this, the more territory"reclaims" the conflict. & Books on psychology say that it enslaves and makes a person feel worthless, unnecessary and unable to live happily.

Symptoms of "internal imbalance"

The first sign is when life passes in constant sadness. People get so used to this state that they do not notice the symptoms of their “disease”. They feel like they've always been like this.

If your general emotional background has long been dyed grey colour, remember, how long have you been living like this? Dig into the past and try to find " starting point". Perhaps you were overtaken by failure or you experienced a strong disappointment, after which you ceased to enjoy life.

Chronic fatigue can also lead to internal contradictions - such is human psychology. If he wants to do something, but his desire remains a desire, this is a sign of psychological distress. The same applies to those cases when he does not bring things to the end. Try to figure out why you're giving up? Perhaps you lack confidence in yourself or true desire contradicts false, so you're slowing down?

When a person for some reason long time performs other people's assignments and whims, he accumulates irritation. My covert aggression he directs to the world around him. The psychology of a person is such that it is easier for him to consider people stupid and hypocritical than to admit that he himself put on someone else's mask. It is important not to forget that the world reflects your attitude towards it.

Most often, internal imbalance is caused by conflicting aspirations, the inability to prioritize. The two forces that put pressure on a person are equivalent, otherwise he will choose the most powerful one and there will be no conflict.

If a internal contradictions tear you apart, every effort must be made to find the cause of disharmony and restore peace of mind.

Books on psychology advise you to figure out where the legs "grow" from your contradiction. Ask yourself leading questions and answer honestly. the main task- figure out what you want, what you feel, what is your psychology. Sometimes what you want is actually not what you need, so the subconscious “rebels”. If a person "gets stuck" in this intermediate state, a conflict arises.

When you acknowledge that there are two opposite desires, you need to find the strength in yourself to give up a false belief. The hardest thing is to be responsible for your choice. Even if you make the wrong decision, then get rid of the contradictions that torment you - this is already a lot. Sooner or later, a clash of interests will occur, and its consequences can be extremely destructive for the psyche. When the decision is made by you, and not imposed by others, it will be easier to "reap the rewards."

The psychology is that following the events is much easier than trying to break the "shackles". Therefore you will need inner strength and courage. People who adapt to everything, do not live their own lives, are mired in self-deception. Internal conflicts must be resolved immediately so that they do not accumulate inside.

What do psychology books say?

Imbalance is a rather complex phenomenon. But books on psychology say that conflicts always accompany a person who improves and develops himself. They motivate to new victories, make you critical of own thoughts and behavior. The main thing is to respond to them in time and look for solutions, and not to “push” the conflict inward.

When a person is looking for his place in life, he can fall into a kind of vacuum that causes a feeling of insecurity and abandonment. If you do not attach importance to this condition, then it often leads to serious psychological disorders.

Take time regularly to get to know yourself. Human psychology has a peculiarity - to look in one's own eyes complete personality need to be clear about your strengths and weak sides. Then it will become clear to you which “levers” you need to pull.

Identify and analyze all the mistakes that you made on the way to the goal. It will be easier for you to reach your potential.

Books on psychology assure that many factors are concentrated in a person that hinder his development:

• Lack of self-esteem.
• Unwillingness to make decisions independently.
• Hypocrisy and flattery towards oneself.
• Unwillingness to fight for their place in life.
• Fixation on the familiar and denial of the true.
• Inability to properly define one's own values.

To believe in yourself, often try something new and unusual for you. No need to compare yourself to others and try to impress. Never lie to yourself and don't adapt to circumstances. The psychology is that it will help you understand what you really want and how you see your life.

The psychology is such that when you begin to change yourself and see the first results, your abilities will begin to grow and develop.

It is difficult to say whether a rapidly changing environment affects the emergence and development of an intrapersonal conflict when a person becomes a victim of internal contradictions. No one is immune from such situations, but people who are especially sensitive, indecisive, with low self-esteem, who find it difficult to decide or defend their rights, suffer from them. To avoid intrapersonal conflict, you need to understand what it is and how you can deal with it.

Who conflicts within the personality

Based on the concept itself, one can guess that the contradictions that lead to conflict situation, do not exist in outside world but "inside" the human personality. Thus, intrapersonal conflict is a phenomenon that is characterized by the emergence of two opposing forces, whether they are opposite feelings, thoughts or emotions, in a person.

People are contradictory creatures. Many interests, views, beliefs, emotions can coexist in one person. It is possible to desire something very strongly and at the same time to be afraid of something.

On a note. Usually a person (we are talking about a mentally balanced healthy and mature person) copes with "warring in the head" beliefs and is able to share desires and feelings. Also, an adult is able to prioritize, to distinguish "bad" from "good", to resist temptations.

All this helps the person to competently conflict with himself when “one part” wants ice cream, and the “second” objects “they say it’s minus fifteen outside”, and both resolve the intrapersonal conflict, come to an agreement to eat a portion of goodies in a cafe or at home.

However, if a person suffers from low self-esteem or experiences increased emotional stress, and also not satisfied with life, he would rather fall victim to internal contradictions, but will not find a way out and will not be able to accept constructive solution.

intrapersonal conflict appears in three areas:

cognitive, when a person finds himself in a psychological impasse;

emotional, when a person lives in a bleak, gray world and does not see the notorious "light at the end of the tunnel";

behavioral, when a person unconsciously underestimates the results of activities, is not satisfied with either life or work in general.

Exist character traits, which indicate the occurrence or existence of an intrapersonal conflict:

It is associated with negative emotions, reactions.

All contradictions between feelings, aspirations, goals and needs arise due to the pressure of external factors.

The interaction of the "participants" of the conflict leads to the fact that a person gives up and does not look for a way out, but simply succumbs to the situation, choosing a greater good or less difficulty.

Why does a person conflict with himself

Contradictions that lead to the manifestation of intrapersonal conflict arise for the following reasons:

The individual is not able to come to terms with himself, does not understand what he wants, or does not take into account the power of the prevailing circumstances.

The position of a person in social group obliges to something, but the person herself is not ready and cannot meet the expectations of others.

The inability of the individual to "take" the prescribed place in society as a whole.

If a person cannot make a constructive decision regarding himself, most likely they are “at odds” among themselves. different elements his personality. Psychiatrist Eric Berne in his book " Transactional Analysis called them:

Inner child. This part is responsible for desires.

Internal parent. Performs the function of a critic and an overseer.

Inner adult. The part that integrates the desires of the Child and the criticism of the Parent, analyzes the expediency of “I want” and “I must” and makes a responsible decision that satisfies both: the principled relative and the unintelligent offspring.

Important. If any one part of a person is suppressed or amplified (inflated) (for example, a capricious Child defeated the poor fellow Parent, or a tyrant Parent suppressed a playful Child), the Adult will not be able to come to a compromise, and a distortion is formed in the personality structure, which will lead to to acute intrapersonal conflict.

External causes also often lead to internal conflict situations. For example, the boss is late for important meeting because of a traffic jam, or the team does not accept his authority, refuses to see him as a senior, a leader.

Often historical circumstances lead to intrapersonal conflict. economic system, laws. For example, a person with an entrepreneurial streak cannot do what he loves and open his own business, because corruption is rampant in the country, or economic crisis, which overnight reduced the real value of his savings. Among other things, the prevailing order can run counter to inner world individual.

How does one conflict with oneself?

Intrapersonal conflict can be classified very conditionally, because most often it is initiated by many causes and conditions:

Motivational is manifested in the desire to possess and the desire for security, the impossibility of choosing between two benefits.

Moral, when personal attitudes are contrary to moral ones, and a compromise between duty and desire seems impossible.

Unfulfilled desires, which is perfectly illustrated by the parable-toast from the movie " Caucasian captive"So let's drink to ensure that our opportunities coincide with our desires."

Adaptive, which is characterized as the inability of a person to "get used" to environment get used to the new surroundings.

Inadequate self-esteem, when there is a dissonance between the perception of oneself and one's abilities and the claims of the individual.

Role-playing, which arises from the inability to perform several roles at the same time. Let's say be caring father who spends all the time with his family, and a leader in his professional field who gives himself to work. Such a conflict can be initiated by one's own unwillingness or inability to comply with any role imposed from outside.

Need to know. Interpersonal conflict can also arise between needs and social norms. The personality is torn between “I want” and “I can”, “I must” and “I can” or “I must” and “I want”. The manifestation of an intrapersonal conflict is characterized not only by depression and loss of strength, but also by euphoria, a sharp change in mood, and regression.

How to come to terms with yourself

A positively resolved intrapersonal conflict is a serious impetus to development and growth. Often a person rushes "between", unable to choose, and then becomes a victim of neurosis, which can:

lead to the development of psychosis and other mental disorders;

encourage a person to commit suicide.

Ways to resolve intrapersonal conflicts are methods of self-control that a developed mature personality should have. Infantile people often resort (unconsciously) to defense mechanisms, while an adult would prefer to face his anxieties, contradictions and desires in order to better understand himself and come to terms with himself.

Whatever way a mature person chooses to resolve an intrapersonal conflict, she is responsible for the decision:

“Let go” of the situation, do nothing, just “leave” and continue to live. The founder of Gestalt psychotherapy, Frederick Perls, formulated a formula for such behavior in a short "Gestalt Prayer." “I did not come into this world to meet your expectations, and you are not here to meet mine. I do my thing, you do yours. We met, and if we can help each other, that's great. If not, there's nothing you can do about it."

Sometimes it is useful to change your attitude to the situation, to reconsider your views.

The energy that was formed in the course of an intrapersonal conflict can and should be sublimated, redirected.

Often fantasizing, detachment from reality, helps to cope with contradictions.

You can consciously influence emotions and desires by suppressing them.

Correction of attitude towards oneself, which leads to adequate perception his "I" and mitigation of intrapersonal conflict.

Compromise or "the wolves are full, the sheep are safe"

One of the most important ways, which helps to cope with intrapersonal conflict - a compromise with oneself. This is a pact of truce, when different parts of the personality find a solution that satisfies everyone. It is not always possible. However, a constructive solution is what it is necessary to strive for in the course of resolving internal contradictions.

Compromise is wanted and achieved by a mature person who is able to put thoughts, desires and duty in order. For this you need:

Be able to listen and hear yourself.

Be open and honest not only with yourself, but also with others.

Accept manifestations of all your desires, even if they are shocking and seem "illegal".

Recognize your right to be different, bad, spoiled.

Recognize that for every decision, first of all, the one who makes it is responsible.

Understand that every action has consequences for which a person is responsible.

What causes intrapersonal conflict

If the situation was resolved successfully, then the person (maybe not immediately, but over time) will feel satisfied, complete and happy. He will release a lot of energy, which he can use at his discretion.

Unresolved intrapersonal conflicts have many negative consequences:

A person comes to a standstill, ceases to develop.

Individuals are difficult to organize.

Personal effectiveness drops.

A person is accompanied by stress, anxiety, he becomes suspicious.

There are prerequisites for dependencies.

A person who is unable to resolve the conflict may seek isolation, become rude, and respond inadequately to criticism and the behavior of others. All this will lead to frustration and neurosis.

Advice. If you cannot resolve internal contradictions on your own, you may need the help of a qualified psychologist or psychotherapist.

A person who has found a way out of a contradictory situation wins a victory over himself. He hardens, becomes more resistant to influence (external or internal), gains invaluable experience, learns to resist himself, thereby preventing the emergence and development of possible conflicts.