Feelings of shyness, embarrassment and awkwardness can take everyone by surprise. It doesn't matter if you are an introvert or an extrovert by nature. Perhaps this happens more often with people of a more quiet and modest warehouse, but everything happens in life. And getting into a situation that puts you in an awkward position and makes you feel shy, maybe an extrovert. Shyness is very closely related to such feelings as awkwardness, excessive modesty, shyness, constraint.

Where does this feeling come from?

As soon as you go out in public or get into an unfamiliar circle of people, shyness overcomes you, and there is nothing you can do about it. You begin to experience it when your attention is excessively directed only at yourself. You track your every step, gesture, words, you begin to control all your actions. And it begins to seem to you that all the attention and views of people are riveted on you, and they notice your every flaw. Such self-love causes over-sensitivity to any words of others, and from this you feel even more shy and constrained.

Let's explore the feeling of shyness with psychological point vision. This feeling is based on three components: excessive awkwardness, low self-esteem, negative self-attention. The feeling of awkwardness arises from the fact that you are constantly trying to control yourself everywhere and in everything, especially in the company of new people. Low self-esteem is formed from the fact that you see only your negative sides and traits. Negative self-attention is created in situations when you did something wrong as you would like, made a mistake, an oversight in public.

Can you deal with shyness?

It is not only possible to cope, but necessary. The following will describe ways to help you with this.

1. Deal with the reasons for the formation of shyness

Observe this feeling, when it occurs, under what circumstances, why and how it manifests itself in you. Understanding yourself is the first and most important step to any change or improvement in life. The answers to these questions will form the basis for further work above oneself.

2. Break the Habit of Constantly Evaluating Yourself

How I look, how I stand, what I say, whether I behave like this, how I look from the outside, and what others think about me ... Constant control of yourself and the situation will keep you in constant tension and constraint. You will not be able to relax, communicate easily with other people. Nobody evaluates you, people, in fact, pay little attention to each other. Everyone is busy with their own thoughts and with themselves, and they do not care about you. So you can breathe freely, no one is watching you closely. Better direct your attention inward. Just watch your train of thought.

3. Seek to see your strengths

Undoubtedly, each of us has his own unique features and qualities. Find them in yourself, look at yourself from the outside, what do you have that you could be proud of. This will help you raise your low self-esteem and restore faith in yourself. Focus your attention on your strengths until you realize your originality and uniqueness.

4. Learn to accept yourself

Only after you do this will you like yourself again. Leave self-criticism. Love yourself for being an individual, because there is no such person in the entire Universe, and there never will be again. Learn to like yourself, to accept your body, your face with all the advantages and disadvantages.

5. Watch people

To shift your focus away from yourself, try to pay attention to the people around you, especially when you are in crowded places and a feeling of awkwardness creeps in on you. During a conversation, be extremely attentive to what your interlocutor says, how he expresses his thoughts, how he keeps himself in society. This will tell you how to behave.

6. Only say good things about yourself.

It is no secret that any spoken word carries a certain energy that can affect you. What we often repeat about ourselves is what we become. It happens unconsciously. But you can make this process conscious by repeating some positive statements, affirmations. Gradually, it will take root in you and work to your advantage. If every day you tell yourself that you are sociable, courageous, active people loving to spend time among other people, it will happen. You will be able to verify their effectiveness and efficiency for your personal growth.

7. Pay attention to moments when you feel shy

After conversations, cases and various situations where you feel shy and uncomfortable, analyze them. You need to learn how to take advantage of each such moment, work through them, making it so that you open yourself. You can always replay the situation to your advantage, using each mistake as an opportunity to work on yourself. Just be an observer of your feelings.

8. Don't be afraid when they tell you no.

Very often it is in such situations that a person feels awkward and shy. After a refusal, people are afraid to ask or ask something again. However, failures should not be afraid, it all depends on your attitude towards them. Do not take them painfully, be prepared that you may be told no to your request. Absolutely everyone in this life is denied, and you are no exception. Learn to accept rejection and respond calmly to them. No, it's not, ask someone else what you need. Learn from this lesson for yourself and draw conclusions. By the way, you will also not be superfluous to learn how to refuse people mild form. Being trouble-free is a thankless task that is not appreciated by anyone.

9. Don't demand too much from yourself.

When a person sets himself an overestimated bar and does not cope with it, and as a result he will be disappointed in himself and his strengths. Bet real goals that you can achieve. Each small victory will develop your self-confidence. Self-esteem will begin to grow, and then you will be able to achieve much more.

10. Don't compare yourself to other people.

Each one is good in its own way. We are all created different, and when you compare, you erase your individuality and uniqueness. The very desire to be like someone else has a negative effect on you. There are new complexes, condemnations. You are beautiful just the way you were created, why should you be like someone else.

11. Start performing in public

This is a great way to quickly overcome shyness. Learn to express your opinion, speak first in a circle of friends, acquaintances, then at meetings and meetings with strangers or unfamiliar people. You can also perform further in large numbers of people. Just prepare your speech ahead of time to be sure. Meet new people, thanks to this you will develop your communication skills.

12. And finally, be sure to do the following task

Think, and it is better to write down somewhere all your successes, victories, achievements that you had. When you write all this down, you will be surprised how much you have accomplished without noticing. Come back often to this list of your victories. This will give you back your confidence. Shyness grows because you do not believe in yourself, that you are capable of much. But when you look at this list of successes, even if not great ones, you will be pleased with yourself. And this is the most important thing. Love, appreciate yourself, work on your qualities and fight complexes. And you will certainly succeed.

You have the right to be anyone and such as you are, and shyness is not a disadvantage. But sometimes she gets in the way. Usually, the question of how to stop being closed and shy is asked by people whose work is associated with constant communication, and it doesn’t matter who the person works for: a salesperson, a teacher or a lecturer. It's just that this character trait is needed the least here, and sometimes it just gets in the way. Another question, how to stop being shy, is asked by young guys and girls who want full communication with the opposite sex. Here, too, closeness is not too necessary, because it makes a person uninteresting. But before you start fighting with an unnecessary feature, let's understand the concepts.

Are you shy or withdrawn?

These are two different traits, but they are often combined in one person. Withdrawal or introversion is just as normal as friendliness and extroversion, it's just that you are self-sufficient and feel more comfortable alone or in a small company, and not in a large team or large-scale party. But the person is shy and would be happy to communicate with large quantity people and make contact, but they are prevented by a sense of anxiety due to communication. And a self-sufficient person may not experience this anxiety. That's all the difference. And the first thing to do in order to overcome shyness is to understand that no matter what you are, this is normal and there is nothing wrong. It is best to accept yourself as you are, and understand how to improve it all. How to start this "upgrade"? From introspection.

Introspection and conceit

People who are shy and insecure are so because of an exaggerated sense of embarrassment and shame. Therefore, it seems to them that others judge them as seriously and harshly as they themselves. There is a bit of egocentrism in this: it seems to us that so much attention is paid to our person that they notice every mistake or ridiculous act. But if this is observed anywhere, it is only in the teenage team. In most cases, only we ourselves pay attention to our absurdity, and people are very passionate about themselves and their absurdity.

That is why condemning yourself for a word or deed that you think is stupid is unproductive. But if you analyze your actions and look for mechanisms to make them not so funny, that's another matter. If you simply condemn yourself for not remembering the name of the person introduced to you, this is pointless, and if at the same time you are looking for a way to remember names, this is already a step towards overcoming complexes.

Don't think that people are watching your every move.

No, if you find yourself in a team of paranoids, then this is real, but entire communities of such people are rarely found. You do not follow every breath and gesture of everyone who is present at a party or at work, do you? You are more engaged in what interests you and others are busy with the same. Therefore, if a colleague did not say hello to you, this does not mean that she is angry with you - perhaps she had a difficult morning. And if people giggle somewhere, then this is not over you, but over a joke.

Declare war on self-criticism. It is needed, yes, but in reasonable doses. And sometimes it even needs to be turned off. When you scroll through all your comments in a recent conversation or wonder if you offended a random acquaintance, it drives you even more into your shell. But everyone, even the geniuses of communication, make mistakes and have the right to make them. And that means you and even more so! Just don't focus on the negativity you've had with people today. It's better to keep track of the good and what you got right!

Find what makes you unique!

This is essential for developing self-confidence.

• Just write whole list what you are proud of and admire about yourself. We often underestimate our talents and capabilities, but we need to appreciate them. Believe me, millions of people do not have the achievements that you have. And this is an occasion to create a list of all your talents and qualities, even the most insignificant ones. And be sure to be proud of it!

Visualize your own success!

This refers to success in society or at a party. Imagine that you are shining. And also think over the steps that will be needed for this brilliance: come up with topics, remember jokes that are appropriate in this company ...

Build your confidence!

• First of all, you need to develop your skills. This will raise your price, which means that shyness will fade into the background. And this is an excuse to go to classes on what interests you. There you will surely find like-minded people with whom it will be easier to communicate.
• Get out of your comfort zone. There is absolutely no need to jump with a parachute or run down the street naked. Look for where there is a comfort zone in everyday affairs and leave it, looking for something new and unusual in familiar things. Yes, at least just go to work or home different ways everyday.
• Goals should be simple. You won’t become more sociable right away, but you can set yourself simple goal, for example, meet two girls in a day or chat with two people at a party. It's easier. And you can also get acquainted with the same shy and withdrawn people like you: they are probably very interesting people.
• Don't be afraid of mistakes. It can be repeated, but even communication geniuses and psychologists the highest level they are committed. You are even more allowed. Even if the person you would like to meet ignored you, the contact still took place.

More:

Get friendly!

• Position yourself as an open person: smile, nod your head, mirror the person, be interested in the narrator and the story ... And don't be afraid to ask more open questions. That is, not those that can be answered no or yes ... “Where did you buy such a beautiful suit?”, “Where is the best pastry in this city?”, “What is your favorite writer?”. All this fits.
• Don't be afraid to talk about yourself. You can share experiences, for example. It is better to do this when several people have already shared their opinions, experiences or stories. But it’s not very good to constantly crack only about yourself.
• Invite people! To your house, for coffee, to the cinema, organize meetings of interest ... even if people refuse, you will be perceived as a friendly and open person. It is important here not to be afraid of being rejected and to be prepared for the fact that you will also be invited. Do not refuse, because any communication you will need.
• Focus on the moment. Concentrate on the conversation, on the facial expressions of the participants, on who else has joined the conversation. Just have fun and don't think about something ridiculous you said five minutes ago.
• Read people. This will help you overcome your shyness and isolation. No, you don’t need to peer into every gesture, but you can learn to understand the mood of the interlocutor. Exactly the same as in general mood groups: what jokes are understandable here, are these people ready to accept strangers. And you can also pay attention to the behavior of each person: if he is relaxed and just walking, then he is disposed to communicate, and if he is nervous, then it is better not to approach at all.
• Find "your" social circle. It is not necessary, and it will not work, to be friends with everyone, but if you want to find “your” people, you need to experiment and go to different companies. Surely "your" people are somewhere...
• Accept your isolation. You will not become completely different even if you try. That is why you cannot be the soul of the company, but you can just be yourself and you will be appreciated. Being yourself is the most original and most interesting of all.
• "Reload!" If you are an introvert, you need solitude more than companies and interest clubs. Just don't go against your nature and seek strength in solitude. This is necessary even for the most sociable and open people, by the way.

Stereotype is not an option!

Shy girls have a special charm. This opinion has received wide publicity. Perhaps this is so, but their shyness causes great inconvenience and discomfort to the "heroes of the occasion" themselves. This prevents them from enjoying being in society. How to stop being shy of people? Look for the answer to this question in our article. So go ahead!

The psychological aspect of the problem

Psychologists say that everyone is shy to one degree or another. Here the matter is different: someone knows how to put on a "mask", and someone does not! For example, we constantly see a sociable and self-confident person from the outside, but in our hearts this is shyness itself! It’s just that such a person knows how to stop being shy in public, and he does it very well. It's good when people know how to hide embarrassment from prying eyes. But what to do if this state constantly haunts a person, manifesting itself in any life situation. This is just ruining his life! How to stop being shy everywhere and everywhere? First, look for reasons!

Causes of constant embarrassment

The most common of them:

• low self-esteem;
• constant self-doubt;
• various complexes.

For example, people who experience problems with diction (burry, lisping) try not to contact others once again. If they get lost somewhere, instead of asking for directions, they will lose half a day, but will find it on their own.

This significantly complicates a person's life. How to deal with it?

How to stop being shy?

1. Stop cherishing the opinion of random passers-by. Feel free to ask them any question. After all, you see them, most likely, for the first and last time. What do you care what they think of you? Remember: most random passers-by do not care about you!
2. If, nevertheless, shyness does not allow you to turn to another person, then drive away your fictional negativity from yourself. Don't be negative. I'll tell you a secret, but 90% of all random passers-by are tuned in to short-term communication. If you are not sure about the friendliness of a person, then before making contact with him, look at his face. People who are not in the mood for communication are immediately visible.
3. How to stop being ashamed of your interlocutor? When you talk, look the person in the eye more often. Of course, you don’t need to keep staring at him, but you don’t need to hide your eyes (turn them to the side or look down) either! Remember that eye contact- this is an important component of communication, allowing you to gradually get rid of excessive shyness.

How to stop being shy with girls?

This is a separate issue for some guys. Many of them, communicating with the opposite sex, experience some kind of awkwardness. And it does not depend on their external data at all. A guy can be intelligent and quite attractive, but shy! What to do?

The age-old question "Who is to blame?" in the case of shyness, it is not as important as solving the problem “How to stop being shy of people?”. Get rid of shyness and prevent bouts of embarrassment will help simple techniques and advice from a psychologist.

Shyness is a flaw that prevents you from living a full life. If this behavior is manifested in childhood, then it often goes into adult life, limits activity, leads to problems in communication and self-realization.

When a person decides to stop being embarrassed by people, he or she is on the path to a better life.

Psychology of shyness

Experts call acute shyness a social phobia and rank it as one of the mental health problems.

With this disorder, a person tries to avoid an unusual environment, is afraid to communicate with people, while experiencing anxiety and fear.

in explicit or latent form Almost half of the world's population suffers from the disease. Subject to social phobia are introverts who are more interested in their own experiences (from the word "in" - inside). There are many shy extroverts - people who are focused on the world(from the word "extra" - out).

It is believed that shyness, timidity is due to three factors:

1. Excessive self-awareness. A shy person thinks too much of himself.
2. Negative self-esteem.
3. negative representation about their talents and abilities.

Formed special type behavior that characterizes shy extroverts. They know how to disguise their internal discomfort, but use any pretext to avoid publicity.

Not all introverts are humble. Some prefer to be alone, although they have everything they need, including adequate self-esteem, for successful interaction with other people.

Shyness can be acquired in kindergarten and school as a result bad experience communication. Parents, noticing that the child is embarrassed, rush to stick the appropriate label.

It is necessary not to aggravate the problems of a preschooler and a teenager, but to help him stop being shy, become a self-confident person.

Adults are also not immune from timidity. It often appears after life dramas, such as divorce, betrayal of loved ones, loss of a job.

How to force yourself not to be afraid and not to blush

There is a sign that shy person- redness. The brain centers that are responsible for fear and anxiety cause a response of the whole body: circulatory system, respiratory organs, skin.

Emotional reactions of shy introverts can be manifested in the redness of the skin of the face, neck, hand trembling, body uncertainty.

There are a number of ways to help deal with this condition:

How to stop being shy

Myself

Shy people lock themselves in a trap between two fears: the fear of being unnoticed and of attracting the attention of others.

You need to stop being shy and become a confident girl or a relaxed guy. Come to a party or other event a little earlier than the rest. Get used to the environment and feel more comfortable.

At a party, do something useful, for example, offer help to the hosts, entertain children with fairy tales and tricks.

Walk along a busy city street, approach strangers and ask them for time, ask them to explain how to get to the shopping center.

Allow three minutes between each question. A small percentage of those you meet will treat you unkindly. Such people should be avoided, but their facial expression betrays.

Dance

If you need to correct the technique of movements, then watch training videos on the Internet, practice at home in front of a mirror. Learn a few moves and hit the dance floor where it's crowded.

Try not to panic, think that everyone is looking at you. Think about your partner during the dance, about what you are doing, and not how you look at this time.

sex

Do not torture yourself with the expectation of failure in intimate relationships, even moments like this were in the past. Avoid critical statements about yourself and your figure, do not associate the quality of sex with its features.

Pay due attention to preparation, create a sensual exciting atmosphere with the help of smells, subdued lighting, music. Alcohol in small quantities also helps to get rid of the fear of sex.

men

An overly critical attitude towards one's appearance is characteristic of all shy people.

Shy girls compare themselves to the covers of glossy magazines, begin to worry about their face and figure, and are afraid of guys.

And they most often avoid relationships with overly demanding and self-critical people. The reason is not appearance, but character, behavior. Stop complexing, talk to men about them more often.

Sing

Start with easy songs for which average vocal abilities are suitable. First rehearse at home, then sing along with close friends.

The next stages are a karaoke bar and public performance. Sing on your own as you master your voice.

Go on the stage

Fear of the auditorium is a common condition. Practice is the main condition for getting rid of the fear of speaking in front of an audience. Immerse yourself in a state of detachment, think about what you need to go on stage for.

Find in the hall interested persons people, think about what you are telling for them (singing, playing instruments, reciting, etc.)

Talk

1. Record yourself on a voice recorder, listen and identify what needs improvement.
2. Work on your voice, imagining in front of you a person or several people who are listening to you.
3. When you hesitate to speak in public idea, add playful notes to your voice, express your opinion using humor.

Total

There is no need to be embarrassed and afraid of everything, this is an unnatural state. Overcome phobias and fears increased anxiety courses of acupuncture, massage, SPA, visits to a psychotherapist help.

Husband

Take care of yourself with home remedies, visit a beauty salon. Any procedures soothe, set up positively in relation to oneself. Pick up beautiful underwear and clothes in the store that hide figure flaws.

Do fitness, yoga, exercise, they give grace and grace, teach to control your body.

In company

Shy people who feel uncomfortable in large companies can find 1-2 people among the invitees and communicate with them. Engage in conversation with strangers. Imagine that you are a reporter who is collecting material for your article.

Don't avoid those who show interest in you. Treat other invitees kindly, smile.

At school

• Ask your classmates, other students in the school, and the teacher more often with questions. Ask for help with studies, project preparation, newspapers, crafts.
• Practice in front of a mirror, trying to give your face a relaxed and friendly expression.
• Demonstrate in a conversation and in the answers in the lessons your awareness of different issues then you will be contacted more often.

chief

Look into your eyes

If eye contact bothers you, then look at the area of ​​\u200b\u200bthe forehead, chest, arms of the interlocutor. In a calm friendly conversation, try to look into the person’s eyes for 3-5 seconds. From time to time, gently look away, then turn it back to the face of the interlocutor.

Gynecologist

Remove the arisen internal stress in the gynecologist's office, the idea that the doctor is by definition a sexless creature will help, shyness is inappropriate when we are talking about health.

A vaginal exam will be almost painless if you relax. A doctor who causes hostility is better to change to another gynecologist.

Speak in English

Overcoming embarrassment helps pronunciation foreign words aloud. Practice more often. Speak English in simple, short sentences.

be photographed

In order for the photo to turn out, you need to try to create a friendly and joyful expression on your face, take the most advantageous position in front of the lens.

Look at yourself in the mirror, change your position, choose the best head turn. In the lens, smile not only with your lips, but also with your eyes.

In the gym

The most comfortable psychological environment - on group lessons. People visit them different levels preparation, next to them it will be easier for you to understand what to strive for, what can be achieved.

In the early days, do not come to the gym during peak hours, choose a time when the atmosphere is calmer.

How not to be embarrassed by your appearance

Of your body

If you are concerned about your appearance, then try to understand that nature does not reward everyone with an ideal figure and regular features faces. Work on the shortcomings of your body that hinder you.

1. Help sports, diets and good cosmetics.
2. Leave it in your wardrobe just the things that suit you.
3. Don't tell in conversation about your shortcomings act like you are the ideal.

Your voice

1. Eat more clean water and juicy fruits that will help keep the ligaments in good shape.
2. If you are confused by the sound of your voice, then try alone to pronounce phrases with different intonations, tongue twisters.

braces

Wearing braces becomes prestigious. Their presence is a sign of wealth, attention to their appearance and health. You don't have to worry about what other people think about braces. Think about the fact that as a result of the treatment you will get beautiful straight teeth.

Wear glasses

Be careful when choosing a frame so that it does not disturb the harmony of your face. If you hear ridicule addressed to you, then know that narrow-minded people let them go. Do not react, then the pranksters will quickly fall silent.

Acne

If you are concerned about the condition of the skin, then it is improved by scrubs, masks, compresses. The color and contours of the face can be corrected with foundation, blush, powder.

Your face

Until you yourself focus on obvious or imaginary defects, other people simply will not notice or attach importance to them. In situations that trigger bouts of shyness, think about best features your face.

Transform manifestations of embarrassment into other emotions. To do this, learn to express joy, interest, surprise, admiration for other people in front of a mirror.

A timid person spends time thinking, shows indecision in different situations. Sometimes, this trait repels new friends surrounding people.

shy people spends too much time thinking about the past or the future, and this moment slips away from life, it impoverishes it. Develop your virtues, communicate, then there will be no trace of shyness.

Video: Instructions for overcoming self-doubt

13 099 0 Hello! In this article, we will talk about how to stop being shy of people and become more confident in yourself. No one doubts that self-confident people always and in everything win compared to shy ones. Who is more sympathetic to others? Who usually convinces more effectively? Who is more successful at job interviews? Certainly a confident person. And if you are not one, then you are probably wondering: how to stop being shy and become more confident in yourself. There is a way out, and the recommendations below will help to cope with various complexes.

Reasons for shyness

1. Unfavorable factors of upbringing in the family. Quite often, shyness appears in those people who, in childhood, did not feel comfortable in communicating with their parents and were often criticized by them. Constant prohibitions, pulling, strict control, disrespect of the child by adults form a fear of the world around and reinforce shyness in his behavior. Focusing attention on this feature also leads to its memorization and habit to it. For example, on the part of adults, phrases could sound: “What a shy you are!”, “Well, why are you shy?” or “Stop being shy, no one will bite you here!”. If parents themselves demonstrate self-doubt and susceptibility to all sorts of fears, then these traits with more probabilities can be passed on to the child.

Childhood experiences affect our entire lives.

1. often leads to shyness. In this case, a person sees in himself more negative qualities than positive ones. He believes that other people appreciate him as well and tends to remain in the background, afraid of their criticism and unkind looks. And as practice shows, others usually treat shy people better than they treat themselves. That is, their fears are often far-fetched.
2. experienced adverse events(loss of loved ones and loneliness, divorce, betrayal, etc.) can also cause shyness in behavior.
3. If you had to look ridiculous, make a mistake in the presence of other people, catch sidelong glances on yourself, then a person may experience embarrassment in such situations in the future.
4. Physical disabilities (real or imagined) can cause a person to become embarrassed about their body in public.

The negative impact of shyness

• If a person experiences embarrassment, then he cannot fully express himself. His talents risk going unnoticed.
• Shyness blocks our movements. There are usually a lot of clamps in the body, the muscles are compressed, there is not enough freedom of movement.
• When we are embarrassed, we feel uncomfortable. , we turn pale, we worry about whether we look funny, ridiculous.
• Shyness prevents full communication with others. Getting to know each other, asking for something, expressing your opinion are tasks that are difficult for a shy person to complete.
• Embarrassment sometimes makes you give up your goals. And than more achievement of them is associated with interaction with people, the faster many pass.
• Shy people avoid conflict, fear quarrels, and have difficulty standing up for their point of view.

Therefore, if the question arises of in what cases it is necessary to get rid of embarrassment, we can safely answer: in any! After all, if we stop being embarrassed, then significant prospects open up before us.

How to overcome shyness: start thinking positively

1. It is important to realize that shyness is a common feeling that has no serious basis. Most often, a certain chain of thoughts arises in the style: “I am awkward, I will look funny, awkward, I will worry, I will not be able to communicate properly, they will think something unflattering about me.” It is important to be able to track such conclusions and reformulate them in the mind into positive tone, but without the "not" particle. They should sound in the affirmative form: “I will look confident”, “I will be able to answer all questions”, “I produce pleasant impression" etc. positive attitude make sure to run the program confident behavior!
2. Recognize the reason for your shyness. Why do you feel insecure? In what situations do you experience the most embarrassment? How does it manifest itself? Are you blushing? Trembling fingers? Do you hide your eyes from others? Do you want to fall through the ground? Be sure to track your feelings that arise when you are constrained.
3. After you identify the cause of your insecurity, there is a deep inner work. For example, you realized that this feeling arose in childhood in the process of education. Now it is important to get rid of those negative attitudes, ratings and criticism that were received at the time early time. To do this, take the position of an adult, self-sufficient person. You are no longer a dependent child who relies on the opinion of his parents in everything. You are a free person, and only those principles and attitudes that are convenient and valuable only for you should remain in your mind.

With other reasons, it is also necessary to work at the level of feelings and attitudes, not deceiving yourself, but accepting all your weaknesses as they are. In some situations, you may need the help of a psychologist, which you should definitely not hesitate to seek.

Controlling external manifestations of shyness

One of the most challenging tasks- control and change nonverbal behavior(look, gestures, facial expressions, etc.) But it is very important to develop this skill in order to stop being shy of people.

• Shy people cannot look into the eyes of others, so they hide their gaze or constantly move it from one object to another. To demonstrate your confidence while talking most time to look at the interlocutor. You have to force yourself to do it. Psychologically, it is easier to look at a point slightly above the bridge of the nose (the level of the “third eye”). For starters, you can use this technique.
• Watch your posture. Everyone likes a straight back. Stooped people are often perceived by others as insecure and closed.
• Do not cross your arms or legs while talking.
• Another important question: how to stop blushing at the moment of embarrassment?

• Usually, if we feel that a blush is coming to our cheeks, we try to hide it in every possible way: we turn away, go out. And this external fuss is noticeable to others. What to do? Paradoxically, you need to focus other people's attention on your reaction. For example: "I'm red again" or "Oh, yes, I'm on fire!"
• If you are speaking in front of big group people, then you can admit out loud: “I am very worried ...” This will help you cope with excessive anxiety, and others are likely to provide support.
• Remember that until you yourself show embarrassment and attempts to hide, close, others will not notice your embarrassment.

How to deal with shyness: reinforcing the habit of being confident

1. Do not bypass the now popular theme of leaving the comfort zone in this matter. If you want to become more confident, then you have to do it. Shy people try to avoid situations in which they feel uncomfortable, do not appear in public once again, and do not show activity. This strategy needs to be radically changed, forcing yourself to get into uncomfortable situations. You should regularly set yourself goals to develop confident behavior. For example: visit some crowded place where you are afraid to go, talk to three strangers, ask the seller in detail about the product and not buy it. At first there will be a terrible discomfort, but this is a matter of habit. The main thing is not to stop creating similar situations for yourself, otherwise the skill will not form.
2. The feeling of attractiveness gives self-confidence and increases self-esteem. Keep track of your appearance. Nice and neat people win over, others are drawn to them, and this reduces embarrassment. If you like yourself in the mirror, then confidence will grow. It is also important that everything looks harmonious, and you feel comfortable. Pretentiousness and excessive extravagance should not be. Green hair and an abundance of tattoos are not evidence of self-confidence.
3. Respect and love yourself. This is one of the basic rules of confident behavior. Praise yourself for new image, any goal achieved, the successful development of valuable skills. Get into the habit of smiling and complimenting yourself in the morning or before going out. In moments of self-criticism, when you find some negative trait, immediately remember two of your strong qualities. These are your powerful resources.
4. Preparation adds confidence. Remember yourself at school: when the lesson was not learned, what fear did you experience when the teacher wandered through the list in school magazine. Get ready for the big event important meeting, to a phone call - to any situation that makes you embarrassed. Think carefully about how you will look (style of clothing, makeup, hairstyle), what and how you will say, what actions you have to carry out. Try to rehearse key points in front of the mirror. Think about what situations might arise and how you should respond to them, such as what questions you might be asked or what responses to your proposal.

The pattern is: the more shy you are, the more thoroughly you need to prepare each time. Over time, when you become more confident in yourself, this need will disappear, the ability to improvise will appear.

1. Humor will be your true assistant. Try to respond to various incidents with jokes, learn to laugh at yourself.
2. Arm yourself with information. We all remember what the one who owns the information owns. Simply put, the more knowledge we have and the ability to apply it, the less embarrassment there will be. So you increase your chances of becoming an interesting conversationalist.
3. Communicate, communicate, and communicate again! Use every opportunity given to you. Chat with people you know to improve your speaking skills and oratorical skills. With strangers - to become bolder and more confident. Read aloud. Listen to how your speech sounds, correct it.
4. Once and for all, give up the desire to "please everyone." It's impossible. Focus your attention only on significant people.
5. Always tune in successful communication, but also imagine that the worst can happen in a situation of constraint. Try to accept any outcome.
6. Yoga classes, breathing exercises contribute to the stabilization nervous system and increased self-confidence.
7. Being in a society of people, concentrate not on your behavior, but on their features. Experience true interest in them: observe speech, actions, facial expressions and gestures, be able to listen. This will help to distract from their shortcomings, behave more liberated and learn the skills of successful interaction with people.

How to loosen up and stop being shy about communicating with the opposite sex

Shyness often becomes a stumbling block in establishing relationships. Even in modern world there are a lot of girls who want to be bolder and stop being shy about a guy.

Causes female insecurity most often serve as a feeling of own unattractiveness, fear of taking the initiative in relationships, unsuccessful past experience interactions with the opposite sex.

How to overcome shyness in communicating with a guy?

• If it is necessary to get to know each other, then the setting should be: “I will approach him and be able to interest him”, “Whatever the result, I will enjoy communicating with him.”
• Don't compare yourself to other girls. You unique personality with your lifestyle. Ask him what you hooked him on, and you will surely hear interesting phrases.
• If fear is present, but you want to stop being ashamed of your body in front of a guy, you need to:

• First of all, love it yourself (your body). If we are dissatisfied with ourselves and the body, then we lack grace, plasticity, we do not master it perfectly and may look awkward.
• Do physical exercises, tighten your forms, strengthen your muscles and make your body more attractive.
• “Please” your body with massage sessions and SPA procedures. You and it deserve it!
• Choose a suitable style of clothing, beautiful lingerie that will emphasize your figure and hide imperfections.

• Often there is also uncertainty in intimate relationships. To stop being shy in bed, it is important to remember that guys love it when girls take the initiative, go for sexual experiments, surprise them. If you want to become more confident in this regard, it is always important to listen to your partner's needs, try to give him maximum pleasure, trust him and focus in the moment. intimacy not on thoughts and attitudes, but exclusively on feelings and sensations. And, of course, you need to constantly improve your level of competence in this matter.

Where there is love, there is no place for embarrassment!

The path to overcoming shyness is not easy, but justified by a valuable result. We can safely say that anyone who has strong desire become confident person, will definitely achieve this. History knows many examples of how notorious individuals at a young age became well-known figures and showed the world their achievements.

Overcome Shyness in 60 Seconds - Top Tips!